August 12, 2025 • 33 mins
Unlock the secrets to building strong family connections during the preteen years! In this episode of the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast, host Kristi Clover sits down with bestselling author and veteran homeschool mom, Tricia Goyer, to discuss practical ways to nurture healthy friendships, create a faith-filled family culture, and make your home a welcoming place for your kids and their friends. From tips on intentional parenting to strategies for encouraging gratitude and family traditions, this conversation is packed with wisdom for Christian homeschool families navigating the preteen and teen years. Plus, learn how to handle socialization challenges and foster a positive environment where your children can thrive.
Recommended Resources:
Faith That Sticks: 5Real-Life Ways to Disciple Your Preteen, by Tricia Goyer and Leslie Nunnery
YWAM Missionary Stories(Christian Heroes, Then and Now Series)
SanitySavers for Moms Bootcamp
Sponsors:
Apologia is a Christ-centered, award-winning homeschool curriculum provider. Our mission is to help homeschooling students and families learn, live, and defend the Christian faith through our print and digital curriculum and online classes.
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CTCMath specializes in providing online video tutorials that take a multi-sensory approach to learning. Creative graphics and animation, synchronized with the friendly voice of internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, make learning math easy and effective. Start your free trial today.
The Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast is a member of the Biblical Family Network. Our mission is to support and encourage the family by providing the very best podcasts on family, discipleship, marriage, parenting, worldview, culture, and education, all from a Biblical perspective. Visit the website for more great shows, like the Thinking Dad, Culture Proof, Homeschool Insights, and Made2Homeschool.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
So sometimes I would say it's like takes 3 minutes of making a
difficult decision. But then on the other side of
it, you can find a positive environment and focus less on.
I was very concerned about otherpeople thought I was very
concerned about what other people were doing and we need to
do that too. Like I was very concerned about
(00:20):
checking all the check boxes in the curriculum or whatever,
those external things that now I'm like, OK, this is not as
important as I thought it was. Hello sweet friends, and welcome
back to the Schoolhouse Rock podcast.
I'm Kristy Clover, and I'm excited to be your host again
this week. I have my dear friend Tricia
Goyer back with me. But last week we tackled some of
(00:42):
the emotional challenges of raising preteens and teens.
And if you missed that episode, definitely go back and listen.
But today we're going to be diving into the relationship
side of parenting our preteens. So friendships, family, culture,
and creating a home where faith can truly.
But before we jump into that conversation, I'd like to thank
(01:03):
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(01:24):
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(01:48):
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(02:09):
help your family thrive. Apologia, equipping families,
inspiring learners, and teachingtruth.
Alrighty my friends, I'm back. And today I'm bringing Tricia
Goyer back on the show with me. So welcome back to the show,
Tricia. Thank you Christy, it's always
so fun chatting with you. Oh, I love it.
I know I I love these opportunities just to try to get
(02:32):
you to, you know, unload all of that wisdom that you have for
everyone out there. I've.
Been homeschooling well my oldest is 35, Christy.
No way this. Has been a while, yes.
So wow. My first home school conference
was 1992. I've been doing this like this
is the in the in the pioneer days of home schooling.
(02:55):
I always graduated from high school in 92.
I know. Amazing, amazing.
But yeah, so you've you've been there, done that.
Been there, done that. No.
Well then you know, what I wanted to kind of kick off with
as you talk through this is, well, I think if you've
homeschooled for a hot 2nd or even thought about
homeschooling, you have heard the question that like everyone
(03:17):
talks about, like what about socialization?
And I kind of giggle because it really depends on my mood and
how I answer because I've got somany different ways to answer
that. But I want to look at the other
side of that question. And how do we actually help our
kids to find and form healthy, like minded friendships?
(03:37):
You know, like the ones that youwant your kids to be social
with? I think this is one of the
hardest things going on today because there are even within
Christian families, different levels of what they let their
kids do, what they don't let their kids do.
And then just what kids, our kids enjoy getting along with
(03:58):
doing things with. And so I think when it comes,
when kids, I'm, I'm really like,OK, what is a group of kids that
I really, I enjoy just them as agroup and figure out how to
connect my kids there. And then within that group, they
will find their individual friendship.
So I have two examples that justfrom last year.
(04:18):
So I'm so glad you brought this up. 1 is our homeschool
basketball. So Casey played homeschool
basketball two years ago and didn't make a lot of good
connections on the team. I'm trying to be kind.
There's just a struggle because I'm like, are some of the
parents going to be listening tothis podcast?
(04:39):
I don't know like. It was it was a struggle for my
child. We'll just say this.
And so I, I talked to some otherparents and one parents was on a
different team in a different town.
And she's like, you know what, just come here.
And it was such a good move for him.
The kids pulled him in it because I will say, you know, he
(05:04):
all kids have quirks. He just has some quirks.
And the kids were just like, they just loved him.
They just brought him in. He became one of the team and,
and it really made such a huge difference.
And you know, we had to talk about like, why did you switch?
Why did you go like on both sides, on both parents?
And I'm like, you know what, We were just, we were just looking
(05:24):
for a switch and it just works for family.
You don't have to explain anything else.
But I will say that was a great move for our family and the
types of kids. Not that they're like best
friends and he's hanging out with these kids all the day
every day, you know, but we are having connections.
We're doing stuff with them. And just as a group, they were a
much more positive group of kidsthan the other group.
And then same with the home school Co-op.
(05:47):
We had just some, it was just personality things.
We're not working with some of the kids.
I'm teaching at a different one and that group of kids and it's
not that again, we're trying to say anything against someone
elses kids because they get along.
They had great relationships with each other right?
But we for my kids to find good friendships and so we made a big
(06:08):
Co-op switch. So sometimes I always say it's
like takes 3 minutes of making adifficult decision, but then on
the other side of it, you can find a positive environment.
And so these days is there a group of kids Co-op youth
groups? And it really is worth the
investment. Even if it's a change, even if
(06:29):
other people might have questions, even if they're other
people are are are feeling like you've abandoned ship, it's
worth it for our kids to surround them with people that
they're going to connect and that are going to be positive
influences on them. And it helps that also, I have
adult kids. And So what seems really, really
(06:50):
hard in the moment, because my kids, my older ones are 3532 and
31. I'm like, it'll be fine. 10
years from now, this isn't goingto be an issue.
It'll be really hard for me to call up this Co-op or call up
whatever and make the switch. But I think when I was younger
and those were my older kids, and I would get so stressed out
(07:11):
about it or even having to call a parent and talk about a
situation like now I'm like 10 years from now and it'll be
fine. And so it has helped me so much
having adult kids, knowing that it's worth it to be advocates
for my kids and find good placeswhere they get surround
themselves with good people. Yeah, no, I mean, I think it
really is that perspective. When you start having adult
(07:32):
children, you start being like, I stressed way too much about
these things. In fact, my one of my older
boys, I always giggles. They're like, you were not this
relaxed with us. I'm like, I know, I'm sorry.
I should have been, but I didn'tknow.
Like, you know, you're just in like the world is dangerous and.
So, but yeah, Nathan, who's 31, Nathan who's 31, Casey, he was
(07:54):
14, was like, you are such a strict mom.
And Nathan just started laughing.
He's like, you have no idea. The mom I had, I feel I have
relaxed, but also like I feel like I'm focused more on the
things that do matter. I focus less, which are, you
know, the heart issues type of stuff and focus less less on.
(08:16):
I was very concerned about otherpeople thought I was very
concerned about what other people were doing and we need to
do that too. Like I was very concerned about
checking all the check boxes in the curriculum or whatever,
those external things that now I'm like, OK, this is not as
important as I thought it was. I know, you know, and I remember
when my oldest were young and I had a friend who had older kids
(08:40):
and like her youngest, the youngest child was my oldest
child. And if you're watching her and
thinking like she's crazy, I can't believe all the things she
lets her kids do. Like, you know, like, Oh my
goodness. Like I was so scared.
And I'm like, you know, like watching, I'm like, oh, that,
like it was just so scary and getting out.
I'm that mom. I mean, relax.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, you're not gonna finish that curriculum?
(09:01):
Don't worry about it. They're like looking at me.
Like what? I know I'm giggling because I
literally was sitting at your kitchen table as we were in
between conferences and I was staying with you.
And then my oldest at the time, who was, I want to say my even
14. Grant was I think 14, maybe 15.
And he was flying by himself from San Diego and going to meet
(09:23):
us in Nashville. And he like, his connecting
flight got cancelled. And I was like, he's going to be
in Texas as you literally got to.
And you were so relaxed. You're like, Christy, it's all
going to work out. I'm like, but my son's going to
be in a different state. I can't get to him.
And you're like, it's going to be fine.
And I'm like, she doesn't understand.
No, you're like, it's, it's fine.
(09:44):
See. You got to watch me panic.
Yeah, I, I, Christy, I was just talking about you earlier, too,
because when you stayed through that time, I'm like the best
guest to have over is another homeschooling mom because I like
me doing something in the kitchen and you, I turn around
and you're like, you're doing, you're like doing the next
thing. I'm like, this is like a
miracle. This is so nice.
(10:06):
Having another homeschooling momas a guest was like, so fun.
Well, because I get it. Like, you know, I think I was
helping you fold your laundry atsome point.
I'm like, can I help? And you're like, yes, like so.
Please you you've. Got it.
Like you say yes and other people are offering and like I
didn't have any laundry to fold.So here, let me fold your
laundry. Here's here's my sock band.
Please do this while you're here.
(10:28):
I'll play the matching game, Yeah.
Oh, well, I want before we go into our break, I just want to
make sure like 'cause this kind of goes into what we were
already talking about how, you know, when we are these young
moms and now I'm that I'm the old mom and I'm like, oh, I've
only, I, I mean, I tell moms nowthat if only I knew what I know
(10:50):
now, but I find myself all the time telling these young moms
like it goes so fast. And especially once you hit
these preteen years, it's like ablink of the eye and suddenly
they have their own strong opinions.
You get deodorant on, hopefully you have deodorant on hand.
You have got drivers licenses, you know, coming up on the
horizon. But what are some ways that we
(11:12):
can really be intentional with this short time?
Because I feel like this should be like when your kids hit
preteen teen years, like it should be a like you should have
a little light going off like it's coming to an end.
Your time and your like, most influence on them is coming to
an end. Your relationship will always be
there if you cultivate it well. But how can we be connecting
(11:34):
with our preteens and teens while they're still in our home?
Yeah. And I really just try to figure
out how many ways I can pull them into things and have fun
with them and enjoy them and do things that they enjoy, even
though I might not enjoy them. And really just, and if not
every day, like trying to find things.
So for example, tonight's going to be our movie and game night,
(11:57):
movie game and snack night. But I remember when my older
ones were younger, they have these very complicated board
games that have like 5000 piecesand like, mom, come here, we'll
teach you how to play it. And I could have said no, but I
sat there and I listened to the rules and I now I will get a
(12:19):
call. I was actually at a Way to Home
school conference and I get a text message from my 35 year old
and my 31 year old like, hey, wewant to get together for a game.
Can we come over your house? I'm like, I'm out of town.
But I would say a couple times amonth my 35 year old, my 31 year
old, they come over. We put out those very
complicated board games. If I can beat them, I get super
(12:40):
excited. I but just like a couple nights
ago, Nathan who has not he doesn't even live at home.
He brought two friends over. Then I got to meet for the first
time. So me and his two friends played
a card game. Actually three friends played a
card game and I'm like, I want to be that parent.
Where his friend Jacob will textNathan like, hey, does your mom
(13:00):
want to play a game tonight? Like I want to be that mom.
But it came to when they were 131415 me looking at all those
pieces and I really did did not want to learn how to play those
games, but I did or Alyssa lovesdoing nails.
So she did all this whole multi level layer thing.
(13:21):
We went to this beauty supply, she got all this stuff.
I washed my hands and nail Polish came right off.
So then I had to redo that, I say.
But it was fine. We had that time together.
We went to the beauty supply. She's still learning how to do.
Yeah. And it's still time together
now, even when I travel, if I can find any time, can I bring
(13:42):
my kids? Anytime I'm going someplace, I'm
going to bring at least one or multiple of my kids to try to
work in, you know, weekends away, family gatherings.
For Christmas. We got 2 houses that that was
their Christmas present and everyone we went up to Branson,
which was like 3 hours away and every kids, grandkids, everyone
(14:03):
was together in two different houses.
And we went to Silver Dollar City, which is like a theme, but
that's what they're like. This is the best thing ever.
So if we're doing that when they're younger, if we are going
to the doing the rides that we don't maybe not enjoy playing
the games, they will come back. We have that relationship.
We have, you know, if we let them Babble on about whatever
(14:25):
singer they like, we'll have those conversations later.
I was just on the phone for an hour yesterday with Lauren and
Florentina, who are in Poland. Like, we have to cultivate that
though, when they are little, when they are younger, so we can
have that. So they want to call mom so that
that will just be a natural thing to do.
Board game nights to do, snack times to do.
(14:46):
I just get in some tents. We're going to be sleeping in
the yard. Like I want to cultivate those
things with them because I see how much my older kids are
impacted and then my grandkids. So now I have grandkids that
want to come over and then we'redoing the same thing.
We're playing the board games, we're making the cookies, we're
doing the things. And so I think that, and
although they get, the more I focus on that because realizing
(15:08):
that is really where family is. And that's where you, you pass
on your traditions, your, your service to God.
Your love for God is not just inlet's go to church together,
let's read the Bible together, but in the, the activities,
entertainment, the things we choose to do as a family.
I love it. And I did that when I was at
your house. We played one of those
(15:29):
complicated games. I remember thinking like, I am
never gonna learn this, but I'm like, but I am here playing.
And Nathan was with us. See, you brought your old friend
to play with your. Yeah, exactly.
Like if you come over to my house, you're gonna play a board
game with us and it's gonna be fun.
We're gonna have. And what's I found this even fun
is like introducing them to things that I'm interested in
(15:49):
and like a little like when I would drive to youth group with
my now 16 year old. So he drives himself, but he
keeps the tradition is we even listen to 80s and 90s music.
And it was always like the, you know, can mom sing along?
And you know, it's shocking. Shocking how?
Much you remember. I don't think I've heard some of
these songs since the 80s or the90s, and I just know them.
(16:12):
It's frightening, but it's become the silly thing.
And so now we play them at home and we dance around.
And so the kids are just like, you know, to asking about
Michael Jackson and asking aboutall these.
I mean, so like most of my kids know how to moonwalk.
So I'm. Fine, I love it that you know
what that is something you're like, you need to have like a
button that says that. But tying into that, we just
(16:33):
we're coming back from a trip and usually we love to do like
we'll we'll do like 14 hours in a day.
Like it's just we just get in the car, we just go and the last
two hours we play the what 80s song is this game?
So I put it on my Spotify randomthing and we'll do it.
And we sing along. And we were coming back from
Orlando just what Sunday night and probably 3 hours from home,
(16:55):
Bella in the back goes, aren't you going to do the 80s music
thing? And we're like, oh, it's getting
close. We usually wait a couple hours,
but we did turned it on. And then when I go hear them
around the house, like singing along, it's like, that's a
memory where we're all in the car and I'm like in the front
seat like doing the dances and we're guessing the lyrics.
And then they're pointing in andthey may be like, not this song
(17:18):
again or whatever, but that is, it's a memory that they're
building. And then you see them humming
along to Toto and you're like, it's all good.
I love it. Well, we're going to take a
quick break, but we'll be right back to talk about more family
fun and just ways to cultivate some family traditions.
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(18:47):
That's ctcmath.com. We're back with Tricia Goyer and
we've been talking about how to connect with our older preteen
kids. But I'd like to do a little
pivot and talk about how to create a welcoming home.
I kind of like all things home life, but I want to to talk a
little bit about what is a welcoming home and kind of how
(19:10):
we can do some things, includinginviting our kids into the
process of of making sure our home is a welcoming home.
So Tricia, my friend, how can wecreate a more welcoming home?
Well, I think we have to get thelike definitely the Pinterest
idea of what home should look like out of our mind and be OK
with the shoes by the door and the sports equipment piled up.
(19:31):
And my husband got couches that have cup holders in them in my
living room. Like I had to just say that's
OK, honey, that's OK. I don't like, and the majority,
like our family is in this house, like we have guests.
But you know, it's not like I need to impress the guests, you
(19:51):
know, of how this house looks because it's always going to be
home school stuff everywhere. And she was everywhere and
sports everywhere and just beingOK with that.
We have three dogs now. I mean, like all the dogs are
running around. Wow.
And like, I went downstairs between breaks and we have a
baby Bunny that they found in the yard when Casey was mowing.
(20:13):
So it's like, oh, cool, we got ababy Bunny.
It really is like just relaxing and realizing like our home is
for our family. It's not to impress other
people. And yes, and, and people
understand, like, you know, somepeople's houses I walk over, I'm
like, wow, this is beautiful. It's amazing.
Come to my house. It's not going to be it's.
(20:34):
Not your house is beautiful. It's not going.
To be perfectly job, but it's not going to be perfectly
different. I think just getting that out of
our mind and being OK with it just being a comfortable place
for our family. And then a welcoming home is
being the place where it's OK iftheir friends come over, they
bring their friends over. Yes, we're going to get pizza
and yes, you can have your friends over at the yard.
(20:54):
We have the basketball net outside and this whole bunch of
kids in our backyards. It's just being the place where
you want the kids to hang out later.
It'll be the place where you want the kids to hang out.
And, and I think a lot of that is just also smiling, paying
attention, making eye contact with your kids.
They're not an interruption in our day.
(21:15):
They're not bothering us from the things we want to do.
And yes, we, I mean, they do have chores.
They do have things that they have to do in the day.
But also this is our home. This is our family.
We want to enjoy each other. And that is what they're going
to remember when my daughter comes home.
She lived in the Czech Republic for 12 years.
She's a missionary there. She'll be like, mom, can you
(21:36):
make tuna casserole? And I'm like, that is like the
last thing you think. But that is like the easy thing
that I would make after homeschool.
They throw some cream and mushroom soup, some sour cream,
some tuna and some noodles together and some cheese on top.
That is like what she wants now because that is home.
And so just thinking about the things that this is, the
(21:59):
memories that they're going to have, we don't want them to be,
you know, just so overwhelmed and stressed.
But all the things we're trying to do or all the things we're
trying to be, it really helps having my grandma who's 95,
she's still. Here.
Oh my goodness. Yes, and I would be running
around crazy and the house is a mess and she would just smile at
me like these are the best yearsof your life, honey.
(22:21):
And I would like grandma like the best years of my life sound
like laying on a beach somewhereand not this, but but she's
exactly right. Like it is the best years of our
lives. All it is around all the noise,
all the chaos. And if we have the expectations
that our days are going to be busy, they're going to be noisy,
they're going to be messy and beOK with it, then we'll have a
(22:45):
great day. Like if we have an expectation
that we could do have a clean house and everything to be
perfect, then we're just gonna stress ourselves and our kids
out. Yeah, even if there's goldfish
and the cup holders in your couch.
Exactly. There probably is, right?
Yeah, that. Was the first thing I thought.
Recent cup holders. I was like the crumbs.
(23:05):
I'm like, that's okay. Well, one of the stories you
actually share in the book faiththat sticks that I thought was
so funny was that you were talking about your gratitude jar
And I was thinking, Oh, I remember when you did the, the
book about gratitude and you were saying like, I was not
working with one of the girls. And but what I love is number
one, I was like, how is she going to pull this out?
(23:26):
Like I, I got wrapped into the story, but can you share a
little bit? But I want to hear, I want you
to share the shift in your approach.
And so kind of like that's another gratitude.
That's another gratitude to to the shift that you did.
Yeah, absolutely. So we were trying to go a year
without grumbling because everyone was grumbling.
And I would come up with all these activities that we would
(23:47):
do. Like every time you grumble, you
have to put a gratitude. Well, then they just kept
grumbling and it's like, I'm notgoing to put a stupid gratitude
in your truck. Like, that did not work.
And so then I realized like, OK,she would, she would argue with
me. It was Florentine.
And she gives me permission to tell the story.
I should laugh something about it now.
But every time I would tell her to do the kitchen, she would
(24:09):
argue with me. Then I was praying about it and
it's like, well, what? Why does she not like to do the
kitchen? Because I've been there.
You didn't wipe this down. You need to love the dishwasher
1st. And so it's like this nitpicky
mom. And so I'm like, I wouldn't want
to do something if I just had someone always just criticizing
me. So it turned to praise.
(24:30):
And so here she is barely wipingthe counter.
Florentina, you are doing an amazing job.
That counter is sparkling. And she's like perks up and then
she swipes more the counter and like, I was putting laundry
away. And every time I went through, I
would just like start praising her and praising her.
Pretty soon she's unlive, the dishwasher scraping off all the
dishes and the praise really turn things around.
(24:53):
And so when you catch your kids doing something right, even when
we went to therapy when Casey was little, the therapist is
like if he's throwing a car in the direction of the toy box,
like praise him. Like we almost got the toy box,
Great job. And then they'll perk up.
They love praise. And so they will, anytime we
continue to criticize, it's justgoing to a heart in their
(25:14):
hearts. It's just going to push them
away from us. But if we praise them, like,
wow, you're doing such a great job.
And that kitchen, like she spent45 minutes in there just that
first day as her praise either it was completely clean.
She ended up being the person that always did the kitchen the
best. And it reminded me that I need
to praise him. And also that night at dinner, I
told John, I'm like, you should have seen the kitchen today.
(25:36):
It was so amazing because they want to hear us saying the good
things that they're doing too. So I think we could really, and
especially as moms weren't thereparents, we're just there all
day long and we just can be thatnegative voice in their head and
just we could turn it around when we just start praising and
then they want to please us. They love getting attention for
(25:56):
the right reasons, and then theydon't have to get attention for
the wrong reasons. Yeah, I mean, this is this is
great advice for parenting and marriage.
Praise, praise. Don't criticize praise.
I love it. And even I loved because I love
that you mentioned it here too, because you put it in the book.
But not just praising directly to them.
(26:18):
Let them hear you or catch you praising them to other people.
I try to be really intentional about praising my kids, but
praising my kids to other peoplebecause so often we just get
into these little whiny, you know, messes that we do with our
friends and like, Oh, my daughter's not doing that Answer
my dad, you know, like, no, likejust focus on the praise, focus
(26:39):
on the positives, build them up,be their biggest cheerleader.
So I love that. And I love that you got like
great results with that too, because it's, it's amazing what
can happen when we slow down andfocus on, you know, not the
little tiny things that need to be tweaked, which I have an eye
for that. So I'm letting it go because it
(27:01):
doesn't matter. It doesn't matter in the big
scheme of things. So my sweet darling friend, do
you have any final thoughts of just like any practical
encouragement for families who are walking through these pre,
you know, these preteen early teen years?
And I think one of the things, of course, when we're, we always
would like, like, how can we help the kids?
(27:22):
How can we do this with the kids?
I mean, we have to start with usand my thing is like I don't
have time with my kids until I have time with me and Jesus and
he will like he's the one that'sreminds me like, oh, praise her.
Like it's like when we spend time with God, like he is a
constant help. He can help us, guide us, lead
us. He can stir our hearts to one of
(27:43):
our kids that might need more attention.
He can bring to mind the conversation starters that we
need to have or the ideas we need to do.
I was just the other day, my kids were having a really hard
day and I'm like stressed. I started writing out a prayer
and I got the idea to do summer vision boards.
So I took them all to the dollarstore and I we were like, what
do we want to do? What are the because they're
(28:05):
complaining you have to work. And so we wrote down all the
things that we want to do. We made plans, game nights,
sleeping. And so that was me writing on a
prayer like I don't know what todo.
I'm trying to balance everything.
Lord, give me wisdom. And that idea came.
So God is there to help us with our families like he knows their
(28:27):
hearts. He knows our hearts.
He knows who he designed them tobe and so just turn to him and
have that time with him. So good we forget to do that so
often. Sadly enough that I love it and
I'm totally stealing that idea I'm going to go to.
The yes, I wrote, actually I'm going to put it on on my blog
because I wrote a list like choose from these things.
(28:49):
That's another thing. Then they're like, I don't know
what to do. I gave them like 20 things to
choose from and they. Yeah.
So yeah. We may or may not have had that
conversation. I'm so bored, like one of my
kiddos and I was like, well, like, let's make a list.
And so my older daughter, she actually does, she has a list of
things that she just goes to. And so it's great because she is
not one who sits around and just, you know, she, she's a
(29:11):
doer, which I'm always like, slow down, sit down, relax.
But she also has a fun list of things that she knows she can go
and do. And so she'll go and, you know,
do art or bracelets or, you know, just whatever it is.
But she knows. And yesterday she, she was
waiting. So I'm like, God bless you.
I will take. That put that on your list.
Chrissy's in there writing things on her list.
(29:35):
You let her garage. Oh well, thank you so much.
I feel like it's not a I'm not apodcast toast without having you
as a guest. You're.
It's so fun to always talk to you.
I love it. Well, thank you for coming on
and encouraging everyone that before we go, please remind our
listeners where they can find you and all of your amazing
(29:55):
books and resources. Absolutely.
Well, most of our books are on Amazon or christianbook.com or
any of those places. But my website is also just
Tricia Goyer, Tricia's Tricia triciagoyer.com.
I'm on Instagram at Tricia Goyerand Facebook all the places and
I would love to connect with you.
Perfect. Well, my friends, make sure you
(30:16):
are finding Tricia online. I get, I am.
I'm a big Tricia Goyer fan, bothin my personal life and in just
my home school life and all the things.
But I hope that you know that you can find all the links for
the show in the show notes. And also be sure to head over to
schoolhouserock.com where you can stream the movie Schoolhouse
rocked the homeschool Revolutionfor free and subscribe to
(30:41):
Schoolhouse Rock YouTube channeland follow on your favorite
podcast app. It has been an absolute pleasure
to be your host this week on theSchoolhouse Rock podcast.
And sweet friends. Before you go, I want to make
sure that you know of a few tools I've created to support
you in your homeschool and mom life.
First up is the homeschool reset.
It's a free three day mini course designed to help you
(31:03):
declutter your mind, reset your routines, and find more joy in
your home school days. You can grab it anytime at
christyclover.com/reset. And if you want to go a little
deeper, you can check out my Sanity Savers for Mom's Boot
Camp. It's a powerful 90 minute
workshop packed with practical tools to trade your chaos for
(31:24):
calm and to create systems that work for you.
Plus, I have a brand new course called Training Kids to Help.
So if you resonated with anything Trisha and I were
talking about and you're tired of doing everything yourself and
are ready to get your kids involved without the nagging,
which see not just coming from me, it's coming from Tricia too.
This is experience. This is for you.
(31:47):
So and because you are a podcastlistener, if you use the code
Clover 10, you get $10 off either training Kids for Help or
my Ultimate Homeschool organization course.
So head over to christyclover.com to find all
the links to all of my resources.
And you can also find me on Instagram and on YouTube as at
(32:07):
Kristy Clover for any of more encouragement and tips behind
the scene of my crazy family life or whatever it is.
But you can find me online there.
But come back next week for another exciting guest on
Schoolhouse Rock podcast. And be sure to stay tuned to the
end to hear a preview of what's coming up next on the podcast.
So have yourself a very fabulousrest of your week, my friends.
(32:31):
Take care. You're listening to the
biblical. Family Network.
Hey, I'm Miki. And I'm Will and we're the Co
host of the culture Proof podcast.
We want to invite you to join usevery week as we discuss what's
happening in the world and then filter those happenings through
a decidedly biblical. Lens.
(32:51):
There are many questions, especially when we see what's
happening in our culture today, but the answers are found within
the Word of God, so that's wherewe want to look.
Amen. When we resist those cultural
trends that rival the truth. We remain culture proof.
In the first few years, I reallytook that as I control it all.
I have a hand in everything, I have a say in everything.
(33:13):
My no one can move forward a lesson unless I am sitting by
you watching you. And that became really taxing.
I really feel like grace kind ofinserted itself in Year 5.
I will say the latter years havebeen way better than the first
years.
So sometimes I would say it's like takes 3 minutes of making a
difficult decision. But then on the other side of
it, you can find a positive environment and focus less on.
I was very concerned about otherpeople thought I was very
concerned about what other people were doing and we need to
do that too. Like I was very concerned about
(00:20):
checking all the check boxes in the curriculum or whatever,
those external things that now I'm like, OK, this is not as
important as I thought it was. Hello sweet friends, and welcome
back to the Schoolhouse Rock podcast.
I'm Kristy Clover, and I'm excited to be your host again
this week. I have my dear friend Tricia
Goyer back with me. But last week we tackled some of
(00:42):
the emotional challenges of raising preteens and teens.
And if you missed that episode, definitely go back and listen.
But today we're going to be diving into the relationship
side of parenting our preteens. So friendships, family, culture,
and creating a home where faith can truly.
But before we jump into that conversation, I'd like to thank
(01:03):
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Alrighty my friends, I'm back. And today I'm bringing Tricia
Goyer back on the show with me. So welcome back to the show,
Tricia. Thank you Christy, it's always
so fun chatting with you. Oh, I love it.
I know I I love these opportunities just to try to get
(02:32):
you to, you know, unload all of that wisdom that you have for
everyone out there. I've.
Been homeschooling well my oldest is 35, Christy.
No way this. Has been a while, yes.
So wow. My first home school conference
was 1992. I've been doing this like this
is the in the in the pioneer days of home schooling.
(02:55):
I always graduated from high school in 92.
I know. Amazing, amazing.
But yeah, so you've you've been there, done that.
Been there, done that. No.
Well then you know, what I wanted to kind of kick off with
as you talk through this is, well, I think if you've
homeschooled for a hot 2nd or even thought about
homeschooling, you have heard the question that like everyone
(03:17):
talks about, like what about socialization?
And I kind of giggle because it really depends on my mood and
how I answer because I've got somany different ways to answer
that. But I want to look at the other
side of that question. And how do we actually help our
kids to find and form healthy, like minded friendships?
(03:37):
You know, like the ones that youwant your kids to be social
with? I think this is one of the
hardest things going on today because there are even within
Christian families, different levels of what they let their
kids do, what they don't let their kids do.
And then just what kids, our kids enjoy getting along with
(03:58):
doing things with. And so I think when it comes,
when kids, I'm, I'm really like,OK, what is a group of kids that
I really, I enjoy just them as agroup and figure out how to
connect my kids there. And then within that group, they
will find their individual friendship.
So I have two examples that justfrom last year.
(04:18):
So I'm so glad you brought this up. 1 is our homeschool
basketball. So Casey played homeschool
basketball two years ago and didn't make a lot of good
connections on the team. I'm trying to be kind.
There's just a struggle because I'm like, are some of the
parents going to be listening tothis podcast?
(04:39):
I don't know like. It was it was a struggle for my
child. We'll just say this.
And so I, I talked to some otherparents and one parents was on a
different team in a different town.
And she's like, you know what, just come here.
And it was such a good move for him.
The kids pulled him in it because I will say, you know, he
(05:04):
all kids have quirks. He just has some quirks.
And the kids were just like, they just loved him.
They just brought him in. He became one of the team and,
and it really made such a huge difference.
And you know, we had to talk about like, why did you switch?
Why did you go like on both sides, on both parents?
And I'm like, you know what, We were just, we were just looking
(05:24):
for a switch and it just works for family.
You don't have to explain anything else.
But I will say that was a great move for our family and the
types of kids. Not that they're like best
friends and he's hanging out with these kids all the day
every day, you know, but we are having connections.
We're doing stuff with them. And just as a group, they were a
much more positive group of kidsthan the other group.
And then same with the home school Co-op.
(05:47):
We had just some, it was just personality things.
We're not working with some of the kids.
I'm teaching at a different one and that group of kids and it's
not that again, we're trying to say anything against someone
elses kids because they get along.
They had great relationships with each other right?
But we for my kids to find good friendships and so we made a big
(06:08):
Co-op switch. So sometimes I always say it's
like takes 3 minutes of making adifficult decision, but then on
the other side of it, you can find a positive environment.
And so these days is there a group of kids Co-op youth
groups? And it really is worth the
investment. Even if it's a change, even if
(06:29):
other people might have questions, even if they're other
people are are are feeling like you've abandoned ship, it's
worth it for our kids to surround them with people that
they're going to connect and that are going to be positive
influences on them. And it helps that also, I have
adult kids. And So what seems really, really
(06:50):
hard in the moment, because my kids, my older ones are 3532 and
31. I'm like, it'll be fine. 10
years from now, this isn't goingto be an issue.
It'll be really hard for me to call up this Co-op or call up
whatever and make the switch. But I think when I was younger
and those were my older kids, and I would get so stressed out
(07:11):
about it or even having to call a parent and talk about a
situation like now I'm like 10 years from now and it'll be
fine. And so it has helped me so much
having adult kids, knowing that it's worth it to be advocates
for my kids and find good placeswhere they get surround
themselves with good people. Yeah, no, I mean, I think it
really is that perspective. When you start having adult
(07:32):
children, you start being like, I stressed way too much about
these things. In fact, my one of my older
boys, I always giggles. They're like, you were not this
relaxed with us. I'm like, I know, I'm sorry.
I should have been, but I didn'tknow.
Like, you know, you're just in like the world is dangerous and.
So, but yeah, Nathan, who's 31, Nathan who's 31, Casey, he was
(07:54):
14, was like, you are such a strict mom.
And Nathan just started laughing.
He's like, you have no idea. The mom I had, I feel I have
relaxed, but also like I feel like I'm focused more on the
things that do matter. I focus less, which are, you
know, the heart issues type of stuff and focus less less on.
(08:16):
I was very concerned about otherpeople thought I was very
concerned about what other people were doing and we need to
do that too. Like I was very concerned about
checking all the check boxes in the curriculum or whatever,
those external things that now I'm like, OK, this is not as
important as I thought it was. I know, you know, and I remember
when my oldest were young and I had a friend who had older kids
(08:40):
and like her youngest, the youngest child was my oldest
child. And if you're watching her and
thinking like she's crazy, I can't believe all the things she
lets her kids do. Like, you know, like, Oh my
goodness. Like I was so scared.
And I'm like, you know, like watching, I'm like, oh, that,
like it was just so scary and getting out.
I'm that mom. I mean, relax.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, you're not gonna finish that curriculum?
(09:01):
Don't worry about it. They're like looking at me.
Like what? I know I'm giggling because I
literally was sitting at your kitchen table as we were in
between conferences and I was staying with you.
And then my oldest at the time, who was, I want to say my even
14. Grant was I think 14, maybe 15.
And he was flying by himself from San Diego and going to meet
(09:23):
us in Nashville. And he like, his connecting
flight got cancelled. And I was like, he's going to be
in Texas as you literally got to.
And you were so relaxed. You're like, Christy, it's all
going to work out. I'm like, but my son's going to
be in a different state. I can't get to him.
And you're like, it's going to be fine.
And I'm like, she doesn't understand.
No, you're like, it's, it's fine.
(09:44):
See. You got to watch me panic.
Yeah, I, I, Christy, I was just talking about you earlier, too,
because when you stayed through that time, I'm like the best
guest to have over is another homeschooling mom because I like
me doing something in the kitchen and you, I turn around
and you're like, you're doing, you're like doing the next
thing. I'm like, this is like a
miracle. This is so nice.
(10:06):
Having another homeschooling momas a guest was like, so fun.
Well, because I get it. Like, you know, I think I was
helping you fold your laundry atsome point.
I'm like, can I help? And you're like, yes, like so.
Please you you've. Got it.
Like you say yes and other people are offering and like I
didn't have any laundry to fold.So here, let me fold your
laundry. Here's here's my sock band.
Please do this while you're here.
(10:28):
I'll play the matching game, Yeah.
Oh, well, I want before we go into our break, I just want to
make sure like 'cause this kind of goes into what we were
already talking about how, you know, when we are these young
moms and now I'm that I'm the old mom and I'm like, oh, I've
only, I, I mean, I tell moms nowthat if only I knew what I know
(10:50):
now, but I find myself all the time telling these young moms
like it goes so fast. And especially once you hit
these preteen years, it's like ablink of the eye and suddenly
they have their own strong opinions.
You get deodorant on, hopefully you have deodorant on hand.
You have got drivers licenses, you know, coming up on the
horizon. But what are some ways that we
(11:12):
can really be intentional with this short time?
Because I feel like this should be like when your kids hit
preteen teen years, like it should be a like you should have
a little light going off like it's coming to an end.
Your time and your like, most influence on them is coming to
an end. Your relationship will always be
there if you cultivate it well. But how can we be connecting
(11:34):
with our preteens and teens while they're still in our home?
Yeah. And I really just try to figure
out how many ways I can pull them into things and have fun
with them and enjoy them and do things that they enjoy, even
though I might not enjoy them. And really just, and if not
every day, like trying to find things.
So for example, tonight's going to be our movie and game night,
(11:57):
movie game and snack night. But I remember when my older
ones were younger, they have these very complicated board
games that have like 5000 piecesand like, mom, come here, we'll
teach you how to play it. And I could have said no, but I
sat there and I listened to the rules and I now I will get a
(12:19):
call. I was actually at a Way to Home
school conference and I get a text message from my 35 year old
and my 31 year old like, hey, wewant to get together for a game.
Can we come over your house? I'm like, I'm out of town.
But I would say a couple times amonth my 35 year old, my 31 year
old, they come over. We put out those very
complicated board games. If I can beat them, I get super
(12:40):
excited. I but just like a couple nights
ago, Nathan who has not he doesn't even live at home.
He brought two friends over. Then I got to meet for the first
time. So me and his two friends played
a card game. Actually three friends played a
card game and I'm like, I want to be that parent.
Where his friend Jacob will textNathan like, hey, does your mom
(13:00):
want to play a game tonight? Like I want to be that mom.
But it came to when they were 131415 me looking at all those
pieces and I really did did not want to learn how to play those
games, but I did or Alyssa lovesdoing nails.
So she did all this whole multi level layer thing.
(13:21):
We went to this beauty supply, she got all this stuff.
I washed my hands and nail Polish came right off.
So then I had to redo that, I say.
But it was fine. We had that time together.
We went to the beauty supply. She's still learning how to do.
Yeah. And it's still time together
now, even when I travel, if I can find any time, can I bring
(13:42):
my kids? Anytime I'm going someplace, I'm
going to bring at least one or multiple of my kids to try to
work in, you know, weekends away, family gatherings.
For Christmas. We got 2 houses that that was
their Christmas present and everyone we went up to Branson,
which was like 3 hours away and every kids, grandkids, everyone
(14:03):
was together in two different houses.
And we went to Silver Dollar City, which is like a theme, but
that's what they're like. This is the best thing ever.
So if we're doing that when they're younger, if we are going
to the doing the rides that we don't maybe not enjoy playing
the games, they will come back. We have that relationship.
We have, you know, if we let them Babble on about whatever
(14:25):
singer they like, we'll have those conversations later.
I was just on the phone for an hour yesterday with Lauren and
Florentina, who are in Poland. Like, we have to cultivate that
though, when they are little, when they are younger, so we can
have that. So they want to call mom so that
that will just be a natural thing to do.
Board game nights to do, snack times to do.
(14:46):
I just get in some tents. We're going to be sleeping in
the yard. Like I want to cultivate those
things with them because I see how much my older kids are
impacted and then my grandkids. So now I have grandkids that
want to come over and then we'redoing the same thing.
We're playing the board games, we're making the cookies, we're
doing the things. And so I think that, and
although they get, the more I focus on that because realizing
(15:08):
that is really where family is. And that's where you, you pass
on your traditions, your, your service to God.
Your love for God is not just inlet's go to church together,
let's read the Bible together, but in the, the activities,
entertainment, the things we choose to do as a family.
I love it. And I did that when I was at
your house. We played one of those
(15:29):
complicated games. I remember thinking like, I am
never gonna learn this, but I'm like, but I am here playing.
And Nathan was with us. See, you brought your old friend
to play with your. Yeah, exactly.
Like if you come over to my house, you're gonna play a board
game with us and it's gonna be fun.
We're gonna have. And what's I found this even fun
is like introducing them to things that I'm interested in
(15:49):
and like a little like when I would drive to youth group with
my now 16 year old. So he drives himself, but he
keeps the tradition is we even listen to 80s and 90s music.
And it was always like the, you know, can mom sing along?
And you know, it's shocking. Shocking how?
Much you remember. I don't think I've heard some of
these songs since the 80s or the90s, and I just know them.
(16:12):
It's frightening, but it's become the silly thing.
And so now we play them at home and we dance around.
And so the kids are just like, you know, to asking about
Michael Jackson and asking aboutall these.
I mean, so like most of my kids know how to moonwalk.
So I'm. Fine, I love it that you know
what that is something you're like, you need to have like a
button that says that. But tying into that, we just
(16:33):
we're coming back from a trip and usually we love to do like
we'll we'll do like 14 hours in a day.
Like it's just we just get in the car, we just go and the last
two hours we play the what 80s song is this game?
So I put it on my Spotify randomthing and we'll do it.
And we sing along. And we were coming back from
Orlando just what Sunday night and probably 3 hours from home,
(16:55):
Bella in the back goes, aren't you going to do the 80s music
thing? And we're like, oh, it's getting
close. We usually wait a couple hours,
but we did turned it on. And then when I go hear them
around the house, like singing along, it's like, that's a
memory where we're all in the car and I'm like in the front
seat like doing the dances and we're guessing the lyrics.
And then they're pointing in andthey may be like, not this song
(17:18):
again or whatever, but that is, it's a memory that they're
building. And then you see them humming
along to Toto and you're like, it's all good.
I love it. Well, we're going to take a
quick break, but we'll be right back to talk about more family
fun and just ways to cultivate some family traditions.
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That's ctcmath.com. We're back with Tricia Goyer and
we've been talking about how to connect with our older preteen
kids. But I'd like to do a little
pivot and talk about how to create a welcoming home.
I kind of like all things home life, but I want to to talk a
little bit about what is a welcoming home and kind of how
(19:10):
we can do some things, includinginviting our kids into the
process of of making sure our home is a welcoming home.
So Tricia, my friend, how can wecreate a more welcoming home?
Well, I think we have to get thelike definitely the Pinterest
idea of what home should look like out of our mind and be OK
with the shoes by the door and the sports equipment piled up.
(19:31):
And my husband got couches that have cup holders in them in my
living room. Like I had to just say that's
OK, honey, that's OK. I don't like, and the majority,
like our family is in this house, like we have guests.
But you know, it's not like I need to impress the guests, you
(19:51):
know, of how this house looks because it's always going to be
home school stuff everywhere. And she was everywhere and
sports everywhere and just beingOK with that.
We have three dogs now. I mean, like all the dogs are
running around. Wow.
And like, I went downstairs between breaks and we have a
baby Bunny that they found in the yard when Casey was mowing.
(20:13):
So it's like, oh, cool, we got ababy Bunny.
It really is like just relaxing and realizing like our home is
for our family. It's not to impress other
people. And yes, and, and people
understand, like, you know, somepeople's houses I walk over, I'm
like, wow, this is beautiful. It's amazing.
Come to my house. It's not going to be it's.
(20:34):
Not your house is beautiful. It's not going.
To be perfectly job, but it's not going to be perfectly
different. I think just getting that out of
our mind and being OK with it just being a comfortable place
for our family. And then a welcoming home is
being the place where it's OK iftheir friends come over, they
bring their friends over. Yes, we're going to get pizza
and yes, you can have your friends over at the yard.
(20:54):
We have the basketball net outside and this whole bunch of
kids in our backyards. It's just being the place where
you want the kids to hang out later.
It'll be the place where you want the kids to hang out.
And, and I think a lot of that is just also smiling, paying
attention, making eye contact with your kids.
They're not an interruption in our day.
(21:15):
They're not bothering us from the things we want to do.
And yes, we, I mean, they do have chores.
They do have things that they have to do in the day.
But also this is our home. This is our family.
We want to enjoy each other. And that is what they're going
to remember when my daughter comes home.
She lived in the Czech Republic for 12 years.
She's a missionary there. She'll be like, mom, can you
(21:36):
make tuna casserole? And I'm like, that is like the
last thing you think. But that is like the easy thing
that I would make after homeschool.
They throw some cream and mushroom soup, some sour cream,
some tuna and some noodles together and some cheese on top.
That is like what she wants now because that is home.
And so just thinking about the things that this is, the
(21:59):
memories that they're going to have, we don't want them to be,
you know, just so overwhelmed and stressed.
But all the things we're trying to do or all the things we're
trying to be, it really helps having my grandma who's 95,
she's still. Here.
Oh my goodness. Yes, and I would be running
around crazy and the house is a mess and she would just smile at
me like these are the best yearsof your life, honey.
(22:21):
And I would like grandma like the best years of my life sound
like laying on a beach somewhereand not this, but but she's
exactly right. Like it is the best years of our
lives. All it is around all the noise,
all the chaos. And if we have the expectations
that our days are going to be busy, they're going to be noisy,
they're going to be messy and beOK with it, then we'll have a
(22:45):
great day. Like if we have an expectation
that we could do have a clean house and everything to be
perfect, then we're just gonna stress ourselves and our kids
out. Yeah, even if there's goldfish
and the cup holders in your couch.
Exactly. There probably is, right?
Yeah, that. Was the first thing I thought.
Recent cup holders. I was like the crumbs.
(23:05):
I'm like, that's okay. Well, one of the stories you
actually share in the book faiththat sticks that I thought was
so funny was that you were talking about your gratitude jar
And I was thinking, Oh, I remember when you did the, the
book about gratitude and you were saying like, I was not
working with one of the girls. And but what I love is number
one, I was like, how is she going to pull this out?
(23:26):
Like I, I got wrapped into the story, but can you share a
little bit? But I want to hear, I want you
to share the shift in your approach.
And so kind of like that's another gratitude.
That's another gratitude to to the shift that you did.
Yeah, absolutely. So we were trying to go a year
without grumbling because everyone was grumbling.
And I would come up with all these activities that we would
(23:47):
do. Like every time you grumble, you
have to put a gratitude. Well, then they just kept
grumbling and it's like, I'm notgoing to put a stupid gratitude
in your truck. Like, that did not work.
And so then I realized like, OK,she would, she would argue with
me. It was Florentine.
And she gives me permission to tell the story.
I should laugh something about it now.
But every time I would tell her to do the kitchen, she would
(24:09):
argue with me. Then I was praying about it and
it's like, well, what? Why does she not like to do the
kitchen? Because I've been there.
You didn't wipe this down. You need to love the dishwasher
1st. And so it's like this nitpicky
mom. And so I'm like, I wouldn't want
to do something if I just had someone always just criticizing
me. So it turned to praise.
(24:30):
And so here she is barely wipingthe counter.
Florentina, you are doing an amazing job.
That counter is sparkling. And she's like perks up and then
she swipes more the counter and like, I was putting laundry
away. And every time I went through, I
would just like start praising her and praising her.
Pretty soon she's unlive, the dishwasher scraping off all the
dishes and the praise really turn things around.
(24:53):
And so when you catch your kids doing something right, even when
we went to therapy when Casey was little, the therapist is
like if he's throwing a car in the direction of the toy box,
like praise him. Like we almost got the toy box,
Great job. And then they'll perk up.
They love praise. And so they will, anytime we
continue to criticize, it's justgoing to a heart in their
(25:14):
hearts. It's just going to push them
away from us. But if we praise them, like,
wow, you're doing such a great job.
And that kitchen, like she spent45 minutes in there just that
first day as her praise either it was completely clean.
She ended up being the person that always did the kitchen the
best. And it reminded me that I need
to praise him. And also that night at dinner, I
told John, I'm like, you should have seen the kitchen today.
(25:36):
It was so amazing because they want to hear us saying the good
things that they're doing too. So I think we could really, and
especially as moms weren't thereparents, we're just there all
day long and we just can be thatnegative voice in their head and
just we could turn it around when we just start praising and
then they want to please us. They love getting attention for
(25:56):
the right reasons, and then theydon't have to get attention for
the wrong reasons. Yeah, I mean, this is this is
great advice for parenting and marriage.
Praise, praise. Don't criticize praise.
I love it. And even I loved because I love
that you mentioned it here too, because you put it in the book.
But not just praising directly to them.
(26:18):
Let them hear you or catch you praising them to other people.
I try to be really intentional about praising my kids, but
praising my kids to other peoplebecause so often we just get
into these little whiny, you know, messes that we do with our
friends and like, Oh, my daughter's not doing that Answer
my dad, you know, like, no, likejust focus on the praise, focus
(26:39):
on the positives, build them up,be their biggest cheerleader.
So I love that. And I love that you got like
great results with that too, because it's, it's amazing what
can happen when we slow down andfocus on, you know, not the
little tiny things that need to be tweaked, which I have an eye
for that. So I'm letting it go because it
(27:01):
doesn't matter. It doesn't matter in the big
scheme of things. So my sweet darling friend, do
you have any final thoughts of just like any practical
encouragement for families who are walking through these pre,
you know, these preteen early teen years?
And I think one of the things, of course, when we're, we always
would like, like, how can we help the kids?
(27:22):
How can we do this with the kids?
I mean, we have to start with usand my thing is like I don't
have time with my kids until I have time with me and Jesus and
he will like he's the one that'sreminds me like, oh, praise her.
Like it's like when we spend time with God, like he is a
constant help. He can help us, guide us, lead
us. He can stir our hearts to one of
(27:43):
our kids that might need more attention.
He can bring to mind the conversation starters that we
need to have or the ideas we need to do.
I was just the other day, my kids were having a really hard
day and I'm like stressed. I started writing out a prayer
and I got the idea to do summer vision boards.
So I took them all to the dollarstore and I we were like, what
do we want to do? What are the because they're
(28:05):
complaining you have to work. And so we wrote down all the
things that we want to do. We made plans, game nights,
sleeping. And so that was me writing on a
prayer like I don't know what todo.
I'm trying to balance everything.
Lord, give me wisdom. And that idea came.
So God is there to help us with our families like he knows their
(28:27):
hearts. He knows our hearts.
He knows who he designed them tobe and so just turn to him and
have that time with him. So good we forget to do that so
often. Sadly enough that I love it and
I'm totally stealing that idea I'm going to go to.
The yes, I wrote, actually I'm going to put it on on my blog
because I wrote a list like choose from these things.
(28:49):
That's another thing. Then they're like, I don't know
what to do. I gave them like 20 things to
choose from and they. Yeah.
So yeah. We may or may not have had that
conversation. I'm so bored, like one of my
kiddos and I was like, well, like, let's make a list.
And so my older daughter, she actually does, she has a list of
things that she just goes to. And so it's great because she is
not one who sits around and just, you know, she, she's a
(29:11):
doer, which I'm always like, slow down, sit down, relax.
But she also has a fun list of things that she knows she can go
and do. And so she'll go and, you know,
do art or bracelets or, you know, just whatever it is.
But she knows. And yesterday she, she was
waiting. So I'm like, God bless you.
I will take. That put that on your list.
Chrissy's in there writing things on her list.
(29:35):
You let her garage. Oh well, thank you so much.
I feel like it's not a I'm not apodcast toast without having you
as a guest. You're.
It's so fun to always talk to you.
I love it. Well, thank you for coming on
and encouraging everyone that before we go, please remind our
listeners where they can find you and all of your amazing
(29:55):
books and resources. Absolutely.
Well, most of our books are on Amazon or christianbook.com or
any of those places. But my website is also just
Tricia Goyer, Tricia's Tricia triciagoyer.com.
I'm on Instagram at Tricia Goyerand Facebook all the places and
I would love to connect with you.
Perfect. Well, my friends, make sure you
(30:16):
are finding Tricia online. I get, I am.
I'm a big Tricia Goyer fan, bothin my personal life and in just
my home school life and all the things.
But I hope that you know that you can find all the links for
the show in the show notes. And also be sure to head over to
schoolhouserock.com where you can stream the movie Schoolhouse
rocked the homeschool Revolutionfor free and subscribe to
(30:41):
Schoolhouse Rock YouTube channeland follow on your favorite
podcast app. It has been an absolute pleasure
to be your host this week on theSchoolhouse Rock podcast.
And sweet friends. Before you go, I want to make
sure that you know of a few tools I've created to support
you in your homeschool and mom life.
First up is the homeschool reset.
It's a free three day mini course designed to help you
(31:03):
declutter your mind, reset your routines, and find more joy in
your home school days. You can grab it anytime at
christyclover.com/reset. And if you want to go a little
deeper, you can check out my Sanity Savers for Mom's Boot
Camp. It's a powerful 90 minute
workshop packed with practical tools to trade your chaos for
(31:24):
calm and to create systems that work for you.
Plus, I have a brand new course called Training Kids to Help.
So if you resonated with anything Trisha and I were
talking about and you're tired of doing everything yourself and
are ready to get your kids involved without the nagging,
which see not just coming from me, it's coming from Tricia too.
This is experience. This is for you.
(31:47):
So and because you are a podcastlistener, if you use the code
Clover 10, you get $10 off either training Kids for Help or
my Ultimate Homeschool organization course.
So head over to christyclover.com to find all
the links to all of my resources.
And you can also find me on Instagram and on YouTube as at
(32:07):
Kristy Clover for any of more encouragement and tips behind
the scene of my crazy family life or whatever it is.
But you can find me online there.
But come back next week for another exciting guest on
Schoolhouse Rock podcast. And be sure to stay tuned to the
end to hear a preview of what's coming up next on the podcast.
So have yourself a very fabulousrest of your week, my friends.
(32:31):
Take care. You're listening to the
biblical. Family Network.
Hey, I'm Miki. And I'm Will and we're the Co
host of the culture Proof podcast.
We want to invite you to join usevery week as we discuss what's
happening in the world and then filter those happenings through
a decidedly biblical. Lens.
(32:51):
There are many questions, especially when we see what's
happening in our culture today, but the answers are found within
the Word of God, so that's wherewe want to look.
Amen. When we resist those cultural
trends that rival the truth. We remain culture proof.
In the first few years, I reallytook that as I control it all.
I have a hand in everything, I have a say in everything.
(33:13):
My no one can move forward a lesson unless I am sitting by
you watching you. And that became really taxing.
I really feel like grace kind ofinserted itself in Year 5.
I will say the latter years havebeen way better than the first
years.
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