For the Love of Homeschooling - Yvette Hampton and Aby Rinella (Best of 2021) - Schoolhouse Rocked: The Homeschool Revolution

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hey everyone, this is Yvette Hampton.
Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocked podcast.
I am so excited that you are back with me this week.
So if you missed last week's episode, I told you that we were
doing a two-part series. This is actually a a best of
series from 2021. And last week we talked about
those who maybe hate homeschooling and some of the

(00:22):
reasons for that. And today we are going to talk
about the love of homeschooling and just walk through some of
the the things things that we can do to show love to our
families and to love them well and to even fall in love with
homeschooling. So I know this is going to be a
great encouragement to you. But before we get into it, I
want to say thank you to our sponsor, Apologia.

(00:43):
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(01:24):
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truth. Now enjoy this episode.
I am back with none other than Avenella.

(01:45):
Hi, Abby. Hey, how's it going?
Good, this is good. It's so funny.
Didn't someone ask you recently if I actually thought your name
was ABBA Abby Nella? Yeah, somebody said, does she,
does she really think your name is Abenella?
Does she know your name is Abby Rinella?
And I was. That was hilarious.
I said she does. We're actually quite good
friends and we do know each other.

(02:06):
I love that though. So funny.
I like that other people are starting to actually call you
Abenella because. They do.
I get people reaching out to me and they're like, hey Abenella,
it's it's a riot. It's hilarious.
I love it. We're making you famous for it.
Oh, that's so much so. I am so glad to be back with you
today. It's been a few weeks since
we've recorded together. It has been a while.

(02:27):
It's been, it has been a while. Yeah, yeah.
'Cause we've we haven't. Recorded since Since the new
Year, Have we? Yes, we have.
Yeah, we have, We have. We have.
We have. We have.
It's all gone by so fast. We've got a lot going on.
It's. Already February.
What year is it? What I know.
Oh my goodness. Anyway, it's good to be back.
It is good to be back. It is very, very good to be back

(02:49):
with you and you. Know what I notice if people are
watching this, Did you guys knowyou can watch this?
You have a new back. You're you have a whole new
studio. We do, we it.
Looks incredible. Thank you.
Watch. OK, if you're watching, I'm
gonna go to full screen here so people can actually see the
whole thing. So this is our whole studio.
Amazing. So tell us, a new studio, a new

(03:12):
house, a new town. What's new?
A new state? Yes, Our family has had a huge
transition in the past few weeks. 3 weeks ago we moved from
Georgia to Oklahoma. Oklahoma Abbey.
And it's amazing. Which is 1300 miles closer to me

(03:34):
15. Oh, I I haven't mounted it.
I don't know. I I know it's a lot closer.
It is closer to you than we werebefore, yes, Yeah.
We through a whole series of events.
And for those who know kind of our story, we have been kind of
transient for the past 4 1/2 years.
No matter. We've we've been in Georgia with

(03:56):
family, but that hasn't actuallybeen home.
Like, we knew that wasn't permanent home.
So we have been praying and praying that the Lord would show
us where home was supposed to beand where we were supposed to
settle. Because when we left California
4 1/2 years ago, we left just trusting that the Lord was going
to take us home. And we had no idea that it was
going to take this long, but He made it so abundantly and

(04:19):
perfectly clear that Broken Arrow, OK or right outside of
Tulsa was where we were supposedto go.
And so we are here. We've been here for three weeks
and it's so funny because Oklahoma is never a state that
we had considered. As a matter of fact, we have
traveled to, I don't know, we'vebeen to more than half of the

(04:39):
states in, in the United States.And I, I, I've probably
mentioned this before, but I seriously thought that we were
going to drive into a state and we would just know, like, you
know, angels would sing and raysof sunshine would come down from
the clouds. And, you know, there would be
like people with welcome signs on the street saying welcome
Hampton family, like, you know, this is where you're supposed to

(05:01):
be. And we would just know like,
that was where we were supposed to be.
And so we went to all these places thinking, OK, well, maybe
this is it. Maybe this is it.
Maybe this is it. And not a single place did we
have peace about. And then a few months ago, the
Lord started opening the doors for Oklahoma.
And like I said, he just made itso clear.
So now we're here and we had never and.

(05:23):
Isn't it a state you had never ever even been to?
Right, that's what I was going to say.
So crazy we we had never even set foot on Oklahoma land until
we moved here 3 weeks ago and and God is good.
It is such an exciting time for our family.
It's been a big transition, of course, but it's been very
exciting and we have so much peace about being here and we
love it here. It's like this like little

(05:46):
secret gem that nobody really knows about except for those who
have been here or live here. And, And so, yeah, so if
anybody's in the Oklahoma or Tulsa area, we would love for
you to reach out to us and we would love to meet you because
we're here and it's exciting. That is so exciting.
I'm so excited and I hear nothing but good about Oklahoma.

(06:08):
Well, yes, except that today, Abby, it's so cold.
No, you don't understand. We woke up and it was 19° this
morning and the forecast is it'ssupposed to be in the next few
days. It's supposed to get down to a
low of -2 and a high of 9°. And I'm like, that's just insane

(06:30):
'cause this Southern California girl does not do weather like
this. And so it is so cold.
But the locals keep telling us this is not normal.
It doesn't normally cold and I'mlike, I don't know if I believe
you. Oh my goodness.
It's OK. It's OK.
I. Like it cold, but I don't like
it that cold. Well, I know you, and I always

(06:51):
joke about that because you're in Idaho where it's freezing
cold. But it's a different kind of
cold because it's the sun's always shining and we have snow.
This is what I've always said. I don't like cold without snow
and we don't get that bitter. Well, you're going to have what
did you say the wind chill is going to make it?
What? They they said that the wind
chill is coming up in the next few days is supposed to be like

(07:12):
-20 to -30°. That's horrible.
We're not in Montana. We're not in Chicago.
Oh my goodness, that's crazy. You'll survive and you have a
beautiful new home to snuggle into.
And home school isn't that great.
You don't have to put your kids on the bus.
Yes, we have a fireplace. It's amazing.
We didn't have a fireplace. Well, I mean, we haven't had a

(07:32):
place and years and years and soanyway.
Oh, I'm excited. For you it's great yes and we so
it's been a fun few weeks for our family just a big time of
change and we've had some exciting things happen with
schoolhouse rocked. So with the podcast last week,
there was a, it was the content 2020 festival.

(07:55):
It's a media festival. So they have awards for all
sorts of different things. Well, somehow we got nominated
for best video podcast in the homeschooling category because
there are quite a lot of homeschool podcast, you know,
video podcast and that people find on YouTube.
And so somehow we were nominatedfor this and we won this award

(08:17):
and we were so surprised and it was such a blessing.
And I, and I, I even hesitated to share that because I didn't
want it to sound like we're, youknow, we're so amazing, like
this amazing podcast that we do,but I only share it because it's
all for God's glory. And, and by his grace, I mean,
he has allowed us to do this, you and I together and all of

(08:39):
the amazing guests that we have on.
And and Garrett, my husband who does all of the behind the
scenes things that nobody I'm, he does way more work on this
podcast than you and I ever do. Oh, I know you and I just get to
just get to talk and point people to Jesus.
He does all the heavy lifting, yes.
Yes, but God is so good. So that was really exciting and
we were so honored to get that award.

(09:00):
And then January, I don't know if I even told you this, Abby,
but January was our biggest month of podcast downloads that
we've had ever. And.
So that was really exciting. I mean, more and more people are
starting to listen to the podcast and, and, and that's
exciting again, because that just means that's all the more
people we get to encourage. Yes, and that means all the more

(09:22):
families, they're bringing theirkids home and raising them up in
the Lord and being encouraged byhis word.
And that's the part that's exciting to me is it's a, it's
just building a big community of, of those of us that are
answering the call. Yeah, yeah, it is exciting.
It is so exciting and and well. Thank you to the listeners, like
we can't thank you guys enough to be a part of our community.

(09:43):
Yes, it's so exciting. And more and more we're starting
to hear from listeners and getting questions from them and
just comments. And so that is so encouraging to
us. We love hearing from you guys.
It's, it's just an exciting ministry to be part of.
We are so grateful for that. And and then the last part of
our exciting week has been that Garrett and I just celebrated
our 26th wedding anniversary. Wow.

(10:05):
I. Know, I know, isn't that?
Amazing. We look 26 years old because you
got married when you were like. I was 10.
It was an arranged marriage. She's joking.
Oh my goodness. Congratulations.
Thank you again. Again, trust me when I say all
by God's grace I mean it is just, it is the Lord that took

(10:28):
us through the 1st 10 years of our marriage and the the first.
I say the 1st 10 because the first decade was really hard and
we got married very young and wehad a lot of growing up to do
and God is faithful and we stuckwith it and we were we.
I can say that there were many times where I think we would
have given up had it been up to us.

(10:50):
But because we had made a covenant with the Lord and said
we will never give up on this, He honored that.
And we struggled and pushed through.
And I don't know what it was, but something at that kind of 10
year mark just kind of pushed usover that that difficult time.
And so, you know, not that we have the perfect marriage.

(11:12):
I mean that doesn't exist, but God has done amazing things and
we have a really good marriage now 26 years later and we still
have our ups and downs, but we have way more UPS than we have
downs. And and so I am so grateful for
my husband who leads our family well and who is faithful to me
and my girls and who who God hasjust blessed me with a great
husband and so. That is so encouraging.

(11:34):
And we were just talking before we got on about how our younger,
our younger selves in marriage and how we handled things in in
such a different ways and funny,funny marriage stories.
But that that's such an encouragement.
And with with Valentine's Day having just been, there's so
much love in the air. And as we talk about marriage,

(11:55):
there are those that, that love the, the tickly feelings, all
that stuff, stuff. But after 26 years, you probably
realize that love is, is a wholelot deeper and it's a whole lot
more of a choice and there's a lot more to it than just those
those feelings. So I think that we're going to
talk a little bit about that today of love.

(12:15):
Yep, Yep. We are going to talk about First
Corinthians 13. I'm kind of focused on that and
then just some other parts of how to show love to our our
families. But before we do that, let's
take a quick break and we won't be right back.
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(12:35):
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(12:57):
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bjupresshomeschool.com. We are back and we are talking
about love. And what's really fun is talking
about love. Love this week because last

(13:19):
week, if you remember, our topicwas I hate homeschooling.
And so we're going from I hate homeschooling to for the love of
homeschooling. And you know, there's no better
way to start off talking about love than to read straight from
God's Word. And I know those listening, I'm

(13:39):
sure are all very familiar with this passage, but I'm just going
to read a little piece of it just to refresh your memories.
And I'm, I'm going to read FirstCorinthians 13 verses 1 and then
I'm going to skip down to verse 4 through probably 4 through 7
or 4 through 8. So First Corinthians 13 verse
one says if I speak in the tongues of men and of angels

(14:02):
that have not love, I am a noisygong or a clanging cymbal.
I love that verse. I love.
That. Verse How many how many of us
moms just noisy gongs and clanging symbols?
And and they're the word nag, right?
Can you think nag? I just think that's the sound of
a noisy Dong and a clanging symbol when we nag at our Kids

(14:22):
without love. Yeah, I I think so too.
And so we're going to talk aboutthat.
And then skipping down to verse 4, it says love is patient and
kind. Love does not envy or boast.
It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own
way, It is not irritable or resentful.
It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with

(14:44):
the truth. Love bears all things, believes
all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. And I love this passage.
I love it. And Ambi, this was actually
your, your idea. This is what the Lord put on
your heart was to talk about this someone that you know as
you read this and as you were thinking about this, what, what

(15:07):
was the Lord telling you and teaching you in regards to our
families and homeschooling and parenting and all of the things?
I, I was just thinking like I love my kids with a passion.
I feel like God's call to homeschool and to be a mom, a
stay at home mom from the beginning.
It has always been my passion and I, I, I just, I love the,

(15:31):
the call that God has given to us moms and I, I love my kids.
I was just thinking, I have a daughter who's about to turn 13
and I'm like the love that I have for my children.
And then the morning to know that someday they're going to be
gone. It was just so overwhelming.
And then as I was reflecting on that that morning, the kids got

(15:51):
into an argument a little bit later and I started nagging at
them and, and very frustratedly with not a lot of gentleness.
And you were a. Noisy gong or a clinging symbol?
And all of a sudden I just felt like the Holy Spirit going,
you're not loving your children the way that I have called you

(16:13):
to love them in this moment. I mean, and it just, I just, I
could hear myself just being annoyed and frustrated that they
were fighting. And, and this is the hilarious
part is I was frustrated that they weren't loving each other
and that they were yelling at each other as I'm yelling at
them for not yelling for yellingat each other.
And it just hit me and I'm like,OK, love is patient and love is

(16:34):
kind. And I need the Bible talks about
having kindness on our tongue, right?
And that that is what teaches and and trains is, is that
kindness on our tongue? And, and then I thought,
wouldn't it be great to go through this verse and really
look at as moms are we, I know that every mom listening to this
loves their kids without a doubt, no question.

(16:54):
Why in the world else would you be listening to a homeschool
podcast? And there was other things you
could be doing. So clearly you love your
children, but what does God wantthat love to look like as a
homeschool mom? And so I thought we could just
kind of break it down and encourage moms to say, are we
loving our families? Well, are we loving our families
with more than just an emotionalI love you?

(17:16):
Yeah, yeah. One of the things that someone
did with me years and years ago was, excuse me, was they said
put your name in front of the word love.
So as you're reading, you know, love is patient.
So mine would read, of course, Yvette is patient and kind.
Yvette does not envy or boast. Yvette is not arrogant or rude.

(17:37):
I do not insist on my own way. Yvette is not irritable or
resentful and so on. And that really was striking to
me because I was like, well, shoot, now it's personal.
OK, so now let's take it a a step further and let me ask you
this. And this is where the conviction
comes in. Put put it in your child's

(17:58):
voice. And would your child say mom is
patient, Mom is kind out of through your child's eyes.
You know, mom is not rude. Mom is not irritable or quick to
anger. And I think I want my children
to be able to say that. I want my children to be able to
say all of those things with my name in front of it.

(18:22):
And, and I know that that's not always the case.
And that's why we need to get inGod's word constantly and, and
allow, and you know, we're goingto talk about a little bit
later, but love is a fruit of the Spirit.
And so when we allow the Holy Spirit to work through us,
that's the only way we're going to become patient.
Because let me tell you, I've heard so many homeschool moms
say, Oh, I don't have enough patience to homeschool.

(18:44):
And it's like, well, that doesn't come naturally to any of
us. That is a fruit of the Spirit
because love is a fruit of the Spirit.
So that's so good to put your name and then look it through
your kids eyes when your kids are are struggling through life
and they're on the journey. We're reading Pilgrim's
Progress. I think I talked about that
before and and about how our walk with God is a journey and

(19:06):
our walk with our children is a journey.
And are we being patient in theyhave their own walk and their
own journey, and are we being patient with them or do we have
the bar for our kids a little bit higher than we set the bar
for ourselves? I think so often, like I expect
my children never to have a meltdown and never to be this
and never to be that, even though I'm human and I struggle

(19:27):
with that. Yeah, yeah.
Well, you know, taking it one step further is say these in the
voice of our husbands. You know, when our husbands say
these things about us and we kind because often times our
husbands kind of get, you know, they get what's left at the end
of the day. And could they say my wife is
patient and kind. She's not rude.

(19:48):
She does not insist on her own way.
I mean, I would say that was probably one of the things, you
know, I I talked about the firstdecade of our marriage and that
this is so funny. I'll tell you a funny story.
When it was like our first few months of marriage, I literally
remember asking Garrett one night to take out the trash and

(20:08):
he didn't just jump up and do itwhen I wanted him to.
And this is how incredibly immature I was.
I remember actually saying to him, I mean, I don't even know
how much time had passed. And maybe it was 10 minutes,
maybe it was an hour. I don't remember.
But for for my, it was too long.For me, it was longer.
I like I wanted him to do it right then and I literally said

(20:28):
to him I want you to do it in mytime, not yours.
Oh my goodness, right. Oh my goodness is right
hilarious and I talk about having a difficult, you know,
1st 10 years. No wonder why I was such a
stinking. Brat.
But that was me. I mean, I insisted on having my
own way always. And I have a pretty strong will

(20:52):
naturally. I really want to have my way all
the all the time. I mean, everybody kind of does.
But like I will, I will fight for my way and and the Lord has
has had to do a whole lot of heart work in my life.
You know, I'm not usually real irritable.
I'm I'm overall a patient person, I mean more patient than

(21:16):
than I think some but man, I read some of these things and
and I think that's The thing is that every one of us has some of
these things that we struggle with.
Not I mean, if you struggle withall of them, you need real help.
But but it's unlikely that someone struggles with all of
them. But we all have certain pieces
of this. And so I love that the Lord has
listed out all of the things he hasn't just said.

(21:39):
Love is patient and kind. The end.
Well, because people can. You can have someone who's
patient and pretty kind. All the time mentally, they are
patient people, right? Yeah, yeah.
And they don't have a a sharp tongue just, you know,
personality wise. But then he goes on and on and
on and and I love I got I hit this one of love bears all

(22:00):
things. And I think sometimes we want
our kids to have arrived now, you know, sometimes I want my 5
year old to be at the end of herwalk with God where she's just
right, nearly perfect and ready to, you know, and, and it's hard
to bear with our children as they go through hard things.
Or another thing is we don't want to see our kids struggle or

(22:21):
go through hard things and love bears with them.
We, we stand by them. We, you know, and, and there's
so many things in here and and back to marriage.
It our kids learn, you know, ourmarriage is an example to our
children of Christ in the church.
And so often when they're little, they don't fully they
don't fully wrap their head around who God is.

(22:43):
That's why God told kids obey your parents because it is a
training for them to obey him, right.
And and so when our kids watch our marriages, they're learning
love, they're learning how to love.
When we treat our kids in love, they're seeing, they're seeing
God's love through their parent.And so we need to really make
sure that we know what God's love is and that we are loving

(23:06):
our children, not just, oh, I love you so I'm gonna make you
cookies or oh, I love you. Which is it?
That service is part of love, but, or just that we emotionally
love them, but that we are really loving according to God's
word. So we, we do want to challenge
everybody to go through each oneof those things and, and ask
yourselves what are what your kids say?
Mom, is this and, or are you just a noisy gong?

(23:29):
Pick up your room, get your workdone.
Did you do your math? You know, stop yelling at your
brother. And sometimes I think we fall
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(23:50):
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(24:15):
Anyone that the Lord has put in our lives, He gives us the
recipe for how to love them well.
And you know what it's not? It's not optional because God
said what are the 2 greatest commandments, right?
Love God and love others. And then he tells us, how do you
love God? Well, if you love me, you'll
obey my commands. That's right.
And then how do we love others? Well, it like you said, he

(24:36):
literally gives us the blueprinton how to do it.
He, God doesn't tell us to do something and then not equip us
to do it or not tell us how to do it.
He always gives us what we need to do it.
So, so we're talking, talking about today the the peace of
this love God love others. We're talking about loving
others and that includes our children, it includes our
spouses, and it includes loving other homeschool moms, those

(24:59):
other moms that might rub us thewrong way or those other moms
that we might struggle being envious of.
Well, guess what? That's not love according to
God's Word. Yeah, that's right.
You know, it's interesting that you talk about other homeschool
moms because as I was reading this, I was reading in First
Corinthians 13 verse heaven sayslove bears all things, believes

(25:20):
And as I read the endures all things, I was thinking about
kind of back to what we talked about last week about I hate
homeschooling and those moms whoreally struggle with
homeschooling and all of us struggle with a part of
homeschooling. All of us struggle with a part
of parenting and of marriage because, you know, we live with

(25:40):
sinful people and we are sinful people.
And so there's always going to be a piece of our lives that we
really, really genuinely struggle with.
But because God has called us tothis.
And like you said, he's, he has said to us in his word, if you
love me, you will obey. Well, he has called us to raise
up our children and godliness sowe can obey him there.
And then he tells us that love endures all things.

(26:01):
And if we love him and we love our kids, then we will endure
these things and he's going to get us through it.
And one of the things that I have realized and, and I
realized, you know, early on in my marriage is that love is a
choice. It is a choice we make.
It is not an emotion. It is not a feeling.
Because if we base our love on emotions and feelings, we're

(26:25):
going to feel often times like we don't love the people in our
lives. There have been times where I
have felt like I don't love my husband because he's made me
really mad because he hasn't given me my way 'cause, you
know, if we go back to First Corinthians 13 verse 5, it says
love does not insist on its own way.
And as I shared before, I reallylike having my own way, right?

(26:46):
Right. And so when he doesn't give it
to me, sometimes he makes me mad.
Well, I still will choose to love him.
And now I've chosen to trust him.
And over 26 years of marriage, Ihave learned to trust my
husband. It doesn't mean that he's always
right about everything, but honestly, he's usually right
about stuff, darn it. But I choose to love him.

(27:09):
I choose to love my children when they frustrate me, when
they disobey. It's not always a feeling, but
it's a choice. Right, and I think the same goes
with choosing to obey God and homeschooling because God and,
and I, I believe with my whole heart that it, that God calls us
and there's so much in the Biblethat tells us, and you can go
back and listen to the why homeschool to hear it, but God

(27:30):
calls us to homeschool, period. God calls us to educate our own
children. And when we don't feel like it,
we need to remember that God says the heart is wicked and
deceitful above all things. And that's really, that's our
feelings. Like sometimes I feel like, you
know, just smashing into that car that's trying to merge in
front of me when they shouldn't.And thank goodness I don't
follow those feelings. The heart is wicked and

(27:52):
deceitful, but but God's word doesn't return void.
God's word is what we need to base everything off of.
And so when we choose to be obedient despite our feelings,
when we choose to love, even when we don't feel like it, when
we choose to forgive, even when we don't think the other person
deserves it, then it says then in a love never fails it.

(28:12):
It will work because God's God'sway works.
I mean, it just does does because it's he's got and he
created it to work perfectly. And so that is where we can find
the strength to do something even when we don't feel like it,
to be patient with our kids one more time when they've forgotten
to, you know, finish their work before they went out and played

(28:33):
or whatever. And or, you know, when we're
just, we're tired of home school, so we want to kick him
out the door to the bus. We've got to to take those
feelings captive and remember that that love is a choice.
Like you said, love is thing. We have to choose.
It's an action that we have to choose to make, even when we
don't feel like it. Yeah, that's right.
And it really is a reflection ofwho God is.

(28:57):
And what's so interesting is that, you know, you grow up
thinking you love and and love is an interesting word because
then I say that on the podcast alot.
I love that. I love this.
I love. This.
I like that. But obviously it's a different
kind of love. And growing up, you know, you
love your parents, you love yourfriends, you love your husband
once you get married and then you have kids.

(29:18):
And I don't know if it was like this for you, Abby, but I
remember literally the exact moment that God's love for me
became, started to become so real, like more real than it had
ever been. And it was when Brooklyn was
probably, she was just a couple months old, maybe two or three

(29:39):
months old. And you know, I've told the
story, of course, on the podcast.
And we, we had waited almost 11 years to have this child.
I mean, just prayed for her. I, I desperately wanted to be a
mom. And I finally, finally, the Lord
chose to bless us with this amazing gift.
And so I was holding her and I was nursing her.
And, you know, newborns just kind of are like la, la, la, la,

(30:02):
la. They, they don't focus on
anything. They just, you know, kind of
wander their eyes all over the place while I was nursing her
this one day and I, you know, was just snuggling with her and
she looked at me and she stoppednursing.
And I remember her just looking at me and like, she locked eyes
with me. And there was something about

(30:23):
that moment where it I was like,Oh my goodness, I love this
child beyond words. Like almost to the point where
it was almost painful and. It's something that that I
always remember my mom saying you'll never understand until
you become a mom. And I was always like, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I love my dog.

(30:44):
I totally get it right. And then saying thing I had a
child and it, it, it, it is something that every, every mom
that hears this knows what we'resaying.
And everybody that's not yet a mom cannot possibly understand
until you've experienced it. Right.
Yeah, it is a different kind of love.
And and what was so beautiful about that is I remember

(31:05):
thinking, oh, the Lord waits forus and when we finally become
his and not that he doesn't loveus before that, but it's a
different connection we have with our Savior once we finally
become his. It's the.
Locking of the eyes. It's the locking of the eyes,
and He loves us beyond measure, beyond words.
And so we get to take the love of the Father, and we get to

(31:27):
pass that on to our children through loving Him, through this
blueprint that He's given to us in First Corinthians 13.
Love is patient and kind. It does not envy or boast.
It's not rude, It's not irritable.
It doesn't insist on its own way.
It's not resentful. It bears all things, believes

(31:47):
It never. And I love that it ends that
way. Love never ends because this
love for us is never going to end in our love for our kids are
never going to end. And I like how you said, OK, so
put God in that because the Bible tells us that we love
because why he first loved us, right?
And so then you can't say God ispatient, God is kind, God does

(32:11):
not envy or boast. God is not arrogant.
And so because he is that, and we have that experience with
him, we have that love with him,then we can experience that with
our children. And, and it's so powerful.
And, and in those moments, yeah,it's easy when the baby's just a
little tiny baby gazing at you in the eyes, you know?

(32:33):
But then when you go through those hard moments, like say,
for example, puberty, then then that love is so solidified and
our love with Christ that it gets, that's the kind of love
that gets us through those hard things.
That's the kind of love that allows me to be patient when my
kids don't even know what's going on in their own bodies and

(32:54):
they're going, you know, it or all the, all the things that
cause us to be like, I could never get through that.
And it, it is that kind of love that gets us through it.
It is that kind of love that perseveres.
Right, right. And at the same time, we have to
remember that just like we love our kids, God loves us and he
cares as much about us, and he is our Father.

(33:16):
He is the one who's standing above us and saying, OK, let me
help you through this, just likewe want to help our kids through
these different seasons of life and through their tantrums and
through their disobedience and, and through, you know, the good
times. God comes alongside us and he
not even alongside us. He goes before us and he leads
us through his word. He leads us through, you know,

(33:39):
other people, you know, other people in our lives.
Might you know, I, I said earlier, God has been faithful
to give me a husband who leads our family well.
And so he's given me a husband who lead who who spiritually
leads us, but he also leads in love and helps me to see what it
looks like to truly love sacrificially.

(34:02):
As we were planning for this and, and praying through this
and stuff. One of the passages, Abby, that
I shared with you that the Lord really brought to my heart was
Galatians 5616 through 24. And Garrett actually came across
this the other day and we read it together as a family and it's
so powerful. I'm going to actually read a

(34:23):
little bit of it to you because it's just such a good verse.
We we often times jump to Galatians chapter 5, verse 22
and we'll get to that. But if we read starting at verse
16, it's, it's such a great passage, the whole thing all
together. And it says, but I say, walk by
the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the

(34:45):
flesh, 'cause you know, we're a bunch of stinking selfish people
who again want to have our own way.
But if we walk by the Spirit, wewill not gratify the desires of
our flesh. For the desires of the flesh are
against the spirit and the desires of the spirit are
against the flesh. For those are for these are
opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you

(35:05):
want to do. And then if you jump down to
verse 19, it says now the works of the flesh are evident.
And, and it's so interesting to read through the works of the
flesh. These are our sin.
This is our sinful nature. And I won't read all of them,
but but a few of them that really stood out to me were
enmity, strife, fits of anger, dissensions and divisions.

(35:30):
Those were the things that I waslike, oh man, those that I, I
can be those things. And that's the opposite of what
God tells us in First Corinthians 13.
I was just going to say that is not easily angered or the
opposite, it's just the exact opposite.
It's the exact opposite and it and he says the works of the
flesh are evident. These are the things that you
want to do. And then he follows that up with

(35:52):
but the fruit of the Spirit is and what's the first one?
Love. And then it's followed with joy,
peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self-control. And so not only does he give his
First Corinthians 13 as a recipe, but then he goes on in
Galatians and he's like, let me just give you a little bit more.

(36:13):
Totally. And let me tell you what I can
do through you. And that's what I like is these
are the things I require of you.However, I will give you the
power to do it. And that's what is so reassuring
as a mom, 'cause when I read that love list, I'm like, well,
that sounds fabulous. And then I read the flesh list
and I'm like, well, that's more like me.
And then I read that God says, I, I'm gonna give, I am going to

(36:35):
do this in you and through you. And so, so there's really no
excuse because if we're walking with God, he will give us the
power to do that. And, and then the last thing on
love that I really wanted to hitthat my husband told me right
after we had a, a baby. Well, my story real quick with
the love, loving your child likethat just kind of overtakes you.

(36:56):
I remember after we had our first, I was like, I will never,
ever, ever, ever be able to lovelike I love this baby.
And then we got pregnant with our 2nd.
And I will be honest, I don't know if a lot of moms have ever
went through this because most people are elated.
And I was really, really terrified during my whole second
pregnancy that I would not be able to love that child the way

(37:19):
I loved my first because I'd never experienced a love like
that. And I'm like, there's no way
that I have the capacity to lovethat deeply more than one
person. And it was just something that
really scared me. And so many moms said, you know
what, we get it. But let me tell you something.
It will happen. It will just happen.
And they kept saying that I'm like, yeah, sure.

(37:40):
It'll just happen and I tell youwhat, the minute they put that
little boy in my arms, it just happened and it was like that
love all over again. And that's what is so amazing to
me about a mother's love is there is no limit to it.
There is no end. There is no I can love one child

(38:01):
better than six because because it is a love of Christ who who
like you read love never ends. You don't run out of it.
It doesn't it doesn't quit. And so we have the ability to
love of, you know, all of our children with with our whole
heart through the Holy Spirit. And then So what I was saying is
the last thing about love is I remember my husband said to me,

(38:21):
I I tended to be, I would just struggle with, oh, my goodness,
what if my kids go through hard times?
What if this, what if that? What if they end up sick?
What if they end up, you know, what moms do with new babies?
And he looked me in the eyes onetime and he said, think about
how much you love this child. And I said, well, yeah, with
everything in me. And he said, God loves them
more. And that to me has gotten me

(38:45):
through pretty much every hard part of parenthood that I've
ever experienced is as much as Ilove this child and want to
protect them from every possiblething that could go wrong, God
loves them more. And he's never going to leave
them and he's never going to forsake them.
And he's going to walk with those children through
everything they can do. And I can rest in God's love for

(39:06):
my child, you know, and, and that brings great comfort as a
mom who goes through fearful times, you know, how are my kids
going to live through what's coming?
And, well, I'll tell you why. Because God loves them even more
than I do. Yeah.
That's right. Well, I love that you say that
we're talking about love. You know, one thing I do want to
say, though, really quickly, is you and I are telling our

(39:28):
stories about how much we love our kids.
And I know that the majority of moms listening to this genuinely
obviously love their kids because like you said, they
wouldn't be listening if they didn't care.
If they didn't give a hoot abouttheir kids and their family,
they would not be listening to apodcast about homeschooling and
parenting and marriage and all the things that we talk about.
But I have, I have been around the block a few times.

(39:48):
And I know for a fact that thereare moms who don't necessarily
feel that deep, passionate love for their kids.
Or maybe they feel that way for some kids or, you know, one of
their children but not another. And it could be a variety of
reasons. Maybe it's because they just
have conflict, you know, their personalities with one another

(40:11):
or. Yeah.
Or I mean, there could be so many reasons.
That you feel like there's some kind of divide there between you
and your children or you and a. Child or seasons of divide where
your kid could be a certain age going through a through a
certain thing and you're like, I'm not feel, I'm not feeling
it, not feeling it. Or maybe you're going through a

(40:31):
certain thing, you know, maybe you're going through some, you
know, crazy hormone changes. You know, I, I, I went through,
I mean, this didn't have anything to do with feeling love
for my child, but I had a pregnancy that I lost years ago
and went through the wackiest hormones that I've ever been
through my whole life. I mean, I, I wasn't even myself.

(40:52):
It was awful. It was a terrible, horrible
time, Literally the worst time of my life.
Like Garrett can't even talk about it without tearing up.
It was horrible and the Lord gotus through that.
So there are times where mom is just off, you know, or the child
is off or you just for some reason you don't feel like you
have a deep connection with thatchild.

(41:13):
And then if that's the case withyou, let me say, put more effort
into it. Put, put, pray about it.
Ask for the Lord to give you hisheart for that child.
Trust that he will. And then again, going back to
love is a choice. Sometimes you have to go back
to, I don't feel like I like youright now, child, or I don't

(41:37):
feel like I even love you, but I'm going to choose to love you
the way that God has told me to.Go back to first Corinthians 13,
make a necklace out of it, put around your neck if you need to,
remind yourself of it every day and, and literally be on your
knees and pray that the Lord would give you a love for your
child like he has. And I God hears your prayers.

(42:00):
I I can't imagine that God's gonna be like, sorry, not this
one, you know? Well, and He tells us in His
Word over and over that He will answer our prayers, that He will
give us what we ask for in prayer if it aligns with His
will, Right? And clearly God's will is that a
parent loves their child, so He is not going to deny you the

(42:20):
love of a child. But what we have to remember is
God's idea of love and our idea of love, the world's idea of
love. I mean, don't always look the
same. So you might not be feeling what
we're talking about feeling. But guess what?
In First Corinthians 13, like you said, you can be patient,
right? You can be, even if you don't
feel it. Like we're also called to love
our enemy. So if we can love our enemy,

(42:41):
then for goodness sake, we can love a child we don't
necessarily connect with, right?So you can still act in God's
love towards your child, whetheryou feel it or not.
And then I promise you, because I've seen it in marriage, I have
seen many, I'll be honest, because this is what we do here.
There have been times in the, inthe 20 years I've been with,

(43:03):
with Jesse that I didn't feel left towards him.
But when I chose to act on God'slove towards him, all the sudden
the feelings came. God honored my obedience.
And he's going to do that with your child.
You're going to He's going to bless you for choosing love even
when you don't feel it so. And and look for those things in

(43:25):
your child that are lovely because there are some and you
can find them. You know what, what whatever it
might be, anything. And I it's.
There because they were creatingthe image of God.
So it is there. That's right.
And you know, as I'm saying this, I'm thinking about the
movie Fireproof with Kurt Cameron.
Have you seen that one? Yes, and you know, that's a

(43:45):
great movie that he does the love dare you know, with his
wife and his dad sets him up with it and and it it's such a
if you haven't seen that movie and especially if you're
struggling with loving someone in your family, whether it's a
child or your husband, watch that movie because it will
really open your eyes up. And basically, he started just
doing these acts of love for hiswife in the movie and he had

(44:07):
zero feelings for her, no passion in their marriage at
all, either of them. And they and you know, after
months and months and months of him just basically choosing to
love her even though he didn't feel like he loved her, they
fell in love all over again. No, I know it's a movie, but
it's still, I mean, that's legit.

(44:27):
I mean it. It's.
A biblical principle, you know what we're obedient.
There is blessing with obedience.
That's that is a biblical principle.
That's not a movie script. And so when we're obedient to
God in in what he wants us to doto love, then he is going to
bless us in that. And, you know, on the flip side,
we need to to think of for ourselves as wives, are we being
lovable? You know, when my husband gets

(44:47):
home from work, am I being lovable?
Am I, am I an easy person to love?
You know, or when he gets home from work, the minute he walks
in the door, am I, you know, this is what the kids did today.
And then I need you to do this and then the garbage knee.
And so we also need to not make it difficult for our family to
love us because they're also called to love.
So, so we need to moms, you know, sometimes we can make that

(45:09):
a little more challenging and then we need to.
I want to tell you about 3 amazing free resources we have
available right now at schoolhouserocks.com.
First, we have the Affordable Homeschooling Guide.
In it, Abby and I share all of our tips for many years of
homeschooling on how to teach your kids well, even on a single
income, without breaking the bank.

(45:31):
Next, check out the Homeschoolers Guide to Family
Law. This free guide is the key to
understanding the legal landscape surrounding
homeschooling and your rights asa parent.
It's not enough just to know howto teach your kids, you also
need to know how to protect them.
Bradley Pierce from Heritage Defense shares his advice for
keeping CPS out of your home andhow to navigate the medical and

(45:52):
legal systems to protect your family.
Finally, every family needs to get our Homeschoolers guide to
school choice. This is the main issue that will
change the landscape of homeschooling over the next few
years. And Abby and I break down
everything you need to know about school choice in an easy
to understand guide. You can find all these for free
in our store. Visit

(46:13):
schoolhouserocked.com/store to get yours today.
That's schoolhouse. rocked.com/store.
I wish that we had a camera on the other side of our camera to
look at everybody who's watching.
Like I literally, it would be the greatest thing.
And you know what? We're all going to get to meet
in heaven one day, but I wish that we could just all get

(46:35):
together in one big conference room and have coffee together
and snacks and yummy sugary snacks.
Not the healthy stuff and just, well, we could have some healthy
stuff, but there has to be sugarin there too anyway.
And just have a fun time of justfellowship and getting to know
one another on a personal basis.I love, love, love, love 'cause

(46:58):
we're talking about love. I love hearing from our
listeners. I love it when we get emails
from you when you respond to us on social media.
We get messages sometimes through our Facebook page.
It is such a God blessing to getto hear from you guys and know
how the Schoolhouse Rock to ministry is impacting your
family. Because again, this is just all

(47:19):
by God's grace and we are so grateful for what he has called
us to. And so continue sending in your
letters. I do my very best to answer them
when you know as quickly as I can.
And we want to help you. We want to encourage you, and we
want to know how we can pray foryou.
So thank you for those of you who do that.
And I want to say thank you too,to those of you who have given

(47:41):
financially to the Schoolhouse Rock to ministry.
I like literally, words cannot explain what an incredible
blessing that is to us. I've said this so many times and
I won't stop saying that we werenever meant to do this alone and
we haven't done this alone. Whether you are a person who
prays for us, which many of you do, if you give financially, if

(48:04):
you, you know, tell others aboutthe podcast or about the
ministry, whatever role it is that you're playing in this
ministry, just know that you arean incredible blessing to us and
you are part of an amazing work of the Lord.
So thank you for all that you do.
Thank you for being part of thisministry because you are part of
it as well. And thank you, Abby, for all
that you do and for being part of this.

(48:25):
I love doing this with you. Oh.
Well, this is an unbelievable, unbelievable blessing.
And it's it's fun because it's, I know that they're everybody
listening. Like we're raising up a
generation of kids that know truth.
And I can't tell you how encouraging.
And like you said, I'll, I'll get messages on social media
from the listeners. And so often they start with,

(48:46):
I'm sorry to bug you or like they feel weird to reach.
And it's like you guys have no idea what a blessing that is to,
to just do life with you guys and to know that that you're on
the other end, you're on the other side, 'cause we're, we're
all in it together and we're, we're raising kids and the Lord.
And so we're, we're sisters in Christ.
And so please continue to reach out because honestly, it is,

(49:07):
it's a huge blessing and encouragement to us.
So we love it. And so we're back talking about
love. You are all about talking about
one of my favorite things to talk which are the five love
languages. I I love the five love
languages. I love figuring out who my what
my friends love languages are. I have my husband pretty much

(49:28):
dialed in what my kids love languages are people I meet and
what are the biggest things we do.
That's a mistake is is we love people according to our love
language and we can't do that. We have to figure out what
theirs is. So tell us about the left
languages. Well, since since you're jumping
into this so enthusiastically, I'm going to let you do this

(49:50):
because I'm like picturing you in the grocery store, you know,
talking to the lady behind you and sizing her up and being
like, so your love language clearly must be.
Really. Gift Giving Would you like to
give me a gift? Because you just gave me a pack
again. OK, but first guess what mine
is. Can you guess what my?
OK. Will you just say what they are
real quick? OK.
Yes, yes. Some people are like what are

(50:12):
you guys talking about? Like Spanish and English and
like some people think that theylove language is what French?
Portuguese, I know. Portuguese.
So years ago when Garrett and I were very first married, which
as I said in episode #1 on Monday, we just celebrated 26
years of marriage on February 11th.

(50:32):
I know it's amazing. Past 1/4 century.
I know isn't that crazy and we still actually we are owed a
serious anniversary celebration because of stupid COVID.
We were supposed to we, we had this big plan for our 25th
anniversary and we were going togo spend a weekend away

(50:54):
together. We were going to go see Shane
and Shane in concert, who Let mejust tell you guys, if you have
not heard Shane and Shane, they.Are amazing.
Amazing. They are like hands down my
favorite Christian. Like I, I could listen to them.
I do, I listen to them all day long.
They are just fantastic. So if you have not heard Shane
and Shane go listen to them. They are they will fill your

(51:17):
heart and your spirit with all kinds of scripture and God's
love. Anyway, so we were supposed to
go see them in concert and then COVID ruined it all.
So we still, a year later have done.
Nothing. Nothing.
This is really funny too. OK, I'm getting totally
sidetracked right here, but thisis a really funny thing.
So right after, so right after anniversary last year we had the
Homegrown Generation Family Expo, which was our online

(51:39):
conference. So we knew we couldn't celebrate
until after that. Well, right after that, it was a
year ago. Yeah.
Yeah. And as a matter of fact, it was
a year ago this week. Oh, that's crazy.
Yes, Yeah, you're right. It was a year ago this week.
So right after that we took our family had to take a two week
sabbatical because we needed to just rest.
And we have some very gracious friends who allowed us to stay

(52:01):
in their lake house up in this little, a town called Alexander
City in Alabama. And it's a small, small town.
And so we went to this little Cafe 1 morning and, and Garrett
and I said to the waitress who was so sweet, and we said, you
know, we would like to celebrateour anniversary and, and just go
have a nice dinner. And I said, what?

(52:22):
You know what is the nicest restaurant in town?
Now, again, this is a really small town in Alabama.
No, it's better than that. And she goes, well, there's a
Ruby Tuesdays down the road. Oh, my.
And it was so funny because we were like, oh, Ruby Tuesdays
did. You go.
No, we didn't go to Ruby Tuesdays.
I think we ended up going to Mexican restaurant, which was

(52:45):
really good too. We did.
We went to Mexican restaurant. But anyway, all that to say, a
year later we still have not really celebrated our 25th.
COVID. COVID and so now we're at 26 and
hopefully we'll get to do something soon.
But you know what? That happened to me, my 40th.
Anniversary. You're not that old, no.
No, my 40th birthday. So now you do know how old I am

(53:05):
it it got it didn't exist. But here's the deal.
They cancelled everything in this nation and so I cancelled
my 40th, which means I got to be39 another year.
So in April of this year I've decided I will be turning 40
instead of. Nice, so really what you're
saying is this is my 25th anniversary instead of my 26th

(53:26):
anniversary 5th? Anniversary you want to claim
every year of marriage that you can.
It's true. It's true.
I'm claiming 26. OK, but what are your love?
Languages Well, well, OK, so going back to this, when we
first got married, someone gave us this book called the Five
Love Languages. And I was like, what in the
world is this? And it's a book that's by Gary

(53:48):
Chapman. And I will put a link to this in
the show notes because if you have never read the Five Love
Languages, it is one of those must reads.
Just like for parenting, some ofthe must reads books are
shepherding a child's heart and don't make me count to three
like those two books. If you don't read any other
parenting book like those are the two that I think every
parent should read for marriage.I think the five Love languages

(54:13):
is one of the books. And so basically it goes through
that every one of us has a, we, we show love in a specific way
and we'd like to be shown love in a specific way.
I'll run through them really quickly.
So we've got words of affirmation, acts of service,
physical touch, gifts or gift giving or gift receiving and

(54:37):
quality time. Those are the five things.
And so everybody likes to show love and everyone kind of has
their degrees of how they want to show love and how they like
to be shown love. So you can probably label these
one through 5 and you have your primary and then all the way
down to 1 where you're like, I don't really have that and you

(54:57):
can't have a mix of a couple, but usually you have a primary
and a secondary love language. Yeah, so Abby, you said that you
like to basically like play the love language game with people
because. I want to know how do you how I
like to ask, how do you like, how do you feel loved?
Because I want to love you that way.
Because what I learned in that book is I, we tend to show love

(55:20):
in a specific way and not everybody receives it in that
way. So we have to learn and this
goes with our children. How do they feel loved?
And then we have to be intentional about showing love
in that way. And I've never, I have yet to
meet a couple who have the same love language.
God likes to match people with different love languages.
I think it's to stretch us and help us to love that person

(55:42):
better. But I do, I love to.
I love to find out what people'slove languages are so I can I
love them better. Right.
Yeah, it's, you know, it's so interesting because as I'm
looking at these, I think of my girls and we're talking about
this in regards to our children and home schooling and, and
building good relationships withour kids and with our husbands.
And I have one who's, I mean, from the time she was teeny

(56:06):
tiny, my oldest daughter, quality time is by far her love
language. She would sit down.
I'm I, she was so little, like Ican still picture it my mind.
And she would pat the floor nextto her and, and but it was
before she could even speak, shewould just pat the floor next to
her. And that meant she wanted me to
come sit next to her and play with her.
And can I tell you, she's 15 andshe still does that.

(56:27):
She will. Literally, she'll sit on the
couch or she'll go lay on her bed and she'll pat it next to
her. I don't even know if she
realizes that she does that. And it always means come sit
with me. Come, like, just just come be
with me. That's what she wants.
But her least favorite love language is physical touch.
So she wants me to be with her, but she does not though she is

(56:50):
more touchy with me, like she likes cuddles with me and stuff.
But even as a baby, she didn't really like that very much.
But she just kind of wants her own space.
Like she'll give me quick hugs, but you know, she's not the one
who's going to cuddle up next tome.
I have one of those, my youngest.
Hers is physical touch. She loves hugs and snuggles and,

(57:10):
and she's the one who, you know,just at any point of the day,
like she just will come up and give you a big huge hug.
And, and she craves it. Like she needs hugs from mommy
and daddy and her sister. And that has often times caused
conflict between my 2 girls because I have one who loves
hugs and physical touch and one who does not.

(57:33):
And so Brooklyn is learning to love her sister by giving up
herself and hugging her sister, even though it's not natural to
her. And at the same time, Laci's
having to learn her boundaries, like her sister's boundaries and
saying, can I hug you? Or can, you know, like Brooklyn,
I really need a hug from you right now.

(57:53):
And, and it's fun to watch them figuring this out together as
sisters. So what?
What are your kids? Have you figured them all out
yet? Well, it it's pretty easy with
some of them, like physical touch.
Kids are very easy to tell that that's their love language, you
know, And I, my son is very physical touch where my oldest

(58:16):
daughter that is like the least of hers, like she when she was a
baby, she would like nurse and the second she was done, she is,
she was like naturally just pushing herself away from me at
a brand new baby. It was such an interesting
thing. And then he now that he's older
and he's he's a boy. It's so funny because Jesse will
walk in the door and he'll just like take him out, like just

(58:38):
punch and wrestle. And because for him that his
love language is physical touch and everything.
He's just always there's a hand on you or there's A and so that
so that's him very much. They also, I feel like with kids
and, and tell me if this is right, you can tell what they
are, but they can change a little.
Like all my kids gave gifts whenthey were little.
They all like to leave things onour bed, you know, but as

(59:01):
they've gotten older, you can tell.
So I, I think I've pretty much figured it out.
The kids book, the five love language for kids have tests in
there. So you know, they kind of they
help you to know mine. My love language is so it's like
the only thing it is. And what's funny about Jesse and
I is my number one is his number50.

(59:22):
Yeah. Like I am a words of affirmation
through and through. Like, I don't, I'm just, that's
100% me. And he, he does not need a
single word of affirmation ever,ever, ever, ever.
Like I never told him I loved him.
Like, I'll tell him I'm like, I love you.
And he's like, oh, OK. Like he doesn't know what to do
with it. He's like, clearly you love me.
We're married so it's so funny but he is a quality time.

(59:46):
He just wants me with him 24/7 but not talking made that clear.
Be with me but don't. You don't need to talk, just be
near me. Because he's not a words of
affirmation. Because he's not words, he just
wants your presents, you know, So the too much talking.
That's why I talk to you. But you know what, it's so good
to understand that because you realize that even though words

(01:00:08):
of affirmation is not his love language, that that's like way
low. I mean, that's the end of his
list. You know, through other things,
through him wanting to spend time with you, you know that he
loves you even though he doesn't.
He doesn't need to say in his mind, he's like, and and let me
tell you, it's funny you say that.
OK, I am not, I'm not putting down anyone who renews their

(01:00:31):
wedding vows. But from the beginning of our
marriage, Garrett has always said I will never, we will never
renew our wedding vows because Imeant him the first time, right?
Why would I need to say him again?
Like I said, he's. Not a word affirmation person is
he then? You know, he, he, he is I, it's,
it's not the top of his list. Quality time is actually the top

(01:00:52):
of his list. He loves to be with his family.
He is not the man cave kind of guy.
He does not want a man cave. As a matter of fact, he has his
studio that he works in and he doesn't like, he loves working
in there because it's, it's set up for him to be able to work
really effectively. But he can only be in there for

(01:01:13):
such a short time before he has to get up and just come and be
with us. Just see us, you know, he loves
quality time. And so, you know, I, I, I, I
love that about him. I like that he likes to spend
time with us. And so so the reason this is
important is because each of ourkids, it's different.
Just like just like it took me along time to learn with Jesse,
like just sit in the garage withme while I'm working on things.

(01:01:34):
But I don't need you to talk. I just went near.
So that helps me to know that because that helps me to love my
husband well. And that's what God wants us to
do is sacrificially. And he knows now about with me
that I'm a words of affirmation.So he has to intentionally, you
know, shoot me a text that says I love you.
And so with our kids, it's so important to learn these things

(01:01:56):
because sometimes we assume thatour kids are feeling loved
because I will tell my child 800times a day, I love you.
Because to me, if someone did that to me, I would feel so
loved. I, my cup would be full.
But then all of a sudden I'm like, they there's something,
there's a disconnect between my child and I, which is weird
because I just told them how much I love them and I showered

(01:02:17):
them with words for an hour and they glazed over.
How can they not feel loved? And then you learn, well, that
isn't how they feel loved. They they don't need to hear
that. They don't want to hear that.
But if I would just go sit and and color for 20 minutes with
that child, it is UN or if I would just buy them, not even
buy them. But if I'm out on a walk and I
find a cool Little Rock and I bring it home to one of my

(01:02:40):
children, it's like that. Then they feel loved.
Yes. And it's important as a mom not
to assume that our children are feeling loved because we are
showing it our way, but that we really discover who God made
them and and how how we can showthem love so that they feel
loved. Because isn't that the goal is
that they are feeling love, not that I think I'm giving them

(01:03:02):
love. Right, right, right, right.
And this goes back to what we were talking about in the last
episode of that If, especially if you have a child and there's
a disconnect between you and that child, really work on
trying to figure out what that child's love language is and
work really hard to meet their love language that way.
And so I'm going to give a few different things before we end

(01:03:25):
because we're almost out of time.
I'm just going to kind of rattleoff a few things.
And, and I found a printable chart.
Most of these are from that chart and I will put a link to
it. It's actually just a, a
printable chart that I found on Etsy and it's really cute.
It's like 3 bucks. And so most of these are taken
from there. I added a couple myself, but I'm
going to kind of go through eachlove language.
And then just rattle off some things that you can do for your

(01:03:48):
child, if that is their love language or or for your husband.
So words of affirmation, here are some things that you can do
for that child. Compliment them, encourage them,
express appreciation, give a card or send a text.
Tell them that you love them like Abby.
Tell them that you're proud of them.

(01:04:10):
This is a big one. Actively listen to them.
So words of affirmation don't have to be you speaking, but
often times it's letting them speak, just listening to them,
giving them your undivided attention.
Put a note under their pillow. It could be just a simple I love
you. I appreciate you.
You did a great job today on, you know, dishes or you know,

(01:04:32):
thank you for loving your sistertoday, whatever.
And then notice their efforts and acknowledge them in front of
others. So those are for those whose
words of affirmation is their love language.
So. Can I interject really quick?
So, so mom, so that you know this, how, how are you going to
know we'll do these things? And if you see that your child

(01:04:54):
is lighting up and that they arepressing into you, that they are
drawing near to you, that your relationship is growing closer.
If you do the list that Yvette just gave, then chances are
you're getting the clues that this is their love language.
If you're doing all those thingsand you're kind of getting like
no respond. A blank.
Stare like then and I I get thatthen then move on to the next

(01:05:16):
one and and you will know. But you might have to be
consistent. You it's probably not just a one
time deal, but you will know because their demeanor will
change. You will see them feel loved and
and you'll notice that you will grow closer with your child when
you do these things. Yeah, for sure.
The next one is Acts of Service.So if this is your child's love

(01:05:36):
language or your husband's love language, here are some things
you can help. Show them love by doing.
Help them clean their room, makethem meals.
I love that one. Help them get out the door on
time. So if you guys are rushing off
to Co-op or to church or to a friend's house or whatever, you
know, help them instead of saying, hey, you know, get this
done, get that done. Help them.

(01:05:58):
Help them with their school work, bring them a drink of
water or a snack, help them withtheir chores.
And then I love this last one. Tuck them in at night.
That's just a sweet one. That's just something that you
know, those acts of service kids, they need Mama at the end
of the day to just go tuck them in.

(01:06:19):
The next one is physical touch. If physical touch is their love
language, physical touch is highon on my one daughter's list.
I told you and and all of these things she would love.
Comb their hair, scratch their back, rub their feet, cuddle and
read a story, tickle them, pat them on the back, sit near them,

(01:06:41):
welcome their hugs and kisses, do group hugs, high fives and
hold hands with them. And I love the holding hands.
I my my 10 year old still holds my hand and I love it.
I love that and you know, for dads and boys, 'cause I have a
son that's a physical touch and and I'm starting to think my 6
year old daughter really likes to any anyway what what you'll

(01:07:03):
see is often with sons wrestlingfor a dad or like fake box, I
don't even know. I'm such a mom.
Like that doesn't even occur to me like 'cause I'm not going to
do that with my son 'cause he's going to learn he doesn't do
that with mom. But as a dad, that does fill
their physical touch need because especially as they get
older, you know, your 14 year old son might not feel

(01:07:25):
comfortable snuggling. Yeah, and some of them do
because that is their love language.
But but don't think that their love language isn't physical
touch because they're punching you, dad, because sometimes that
is how a boy's physical touch, you know, just so you know, it
looks, it looks different with boys and fathers than it does
with mothers. And sometimes it could with
brothers, with brother against brother, if it's not in, if it's

(01:07:47):
not being done in anger. Yeah, if they're just having fun
wrestling, that's just is getting that, you know, And then
there is that boundary of like, no, you, you can't wrestle your
sister. You're gonna have to you.
You just have to hold her hand. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Fulfill that need. That's a great.
Anyway, yeah, so the next one isgifts.
So here are some ideas for that.Make their favorite treat.
Give a thoughtful gift on an ordinary day.

(01:08:11):
Plan presents that fit their interests.
Send the mail when you're away. That one's fun.
You know, go on a weekend away or mom's retreat or a home
school conference, whatever, youknow, send send them.
I mean, or leave them in little gift it.
It's so funny you said this because it's on the on the list.
Abby, give them a flower or pretty rock.

(01:08:33):
From your walk, yeah. Yeah, just take, take, take a
walk. And if you find a pretty
seashell or a pretty rock, or, you know, pretty flowers along
the side of the road, whatever. I have a friend that did that,
she came home from a walk and she brought her child a flower
and she goes 20 seconds went by and it was in the garbage and
she goes well I guess gifts isn't their love language.
Well, that's. Safe to say.

(01:08:54):
Safe to say. You know what the kid said,
Mama, can I please go with you next time?
And I said, you know what? Quality time.
They. 'D rather go with you than have
you bring them something home. Yeah, remember special occasions
and celebrate them and then appreciate their gifts because
how often do our kids make us, you know, little things And.

(01:09:15):
And they're so proud of it and they bring it to us and we're
like, oh. I'm going to file that in the
old file cabinet. Right, right.
So appreciate their gifts. And then the last one is quality
time. Quality time I think is an easy
one because it's kind of just self-explanatory.
But give your undivided attention.
And that's hard, especially in our day and age with cell phones

(01:09:38):
and the Internet and social media and all the stuff that
clutters our time in our brains.But put your phone down, put
your computer down, and give your child your undivided
attention. Yeah, you say it's easy, but you
know what, as moms running households, we have 1000 things
to do. It's easy to figure out it it is
easy, but you know what? We don't make the time to do it.
And that is really that screams basically for someone that's

(01:10:00):
quality time. If you don't spend it to with
them, you're saying I don't loveyou.
I mean, honestly, that's what they're hearing.
I don't love you enough to put down my To Do List and sit with
you. Yes and play play DoH or
whatever. Do chores together, bake
together, ask them about their day, make eye contact, play with

(01:10:23):
them or do a craft with them, Goon dates.
This one is a great one. We really try to do that with
our kids individually, play board games with them.
Another thing that we love to do.
As a matter of fact, we're goingto be doing an episode pretty
soon here airing an episode about game schooling.
So we're going to talk all aboutplaying games, bike rides
together, go for walks together.And then I love this one,

(01:10:44):
especially for teenagers. Stay up late at night with them
and let them talk. I heard that this was a thing
before my girls were teens or before my oldest was a teen and
it's true. Like 11:00 at night is the time
that she wants. To talk.
About all the things and I'm like, OK, this is what we're

(01:11:05):
doing, but. It's and you've got to be there
and show up like my oldest. It's just that again, that
circadian rhythm shifts in thoseyears and she wants to play
cards at like 10:00 at night andI'm like, I don't want I did
this isn't. But then I have to stop and go,
this is this for her is loving her like this is telling her I
love you. And so we have to do it.

(01:11:27):
We have to slow down and do it. And the quality time people too,
we have to make sure we do it one-on-one because the quality
time people tend to like the notquality time in a big group, but
quality time with you and just them.
Yes, yes. And I know that these things are
hard to do if you have multiple kids, you know, I have two, so

(01:11:48):
it's not as hard for me. But I have a lot of friends who
have, you know, 5678 kids. And so I know it would be hard
to do these things. So it doesn't mean you have to
do them every single day for every single kid.
I mean, that's impossible, but maybe write it down, keep a
chart. Connie Albers is one who is
really good at stuff like this with her kids.
Like she had journals for each of her kids and she would write

(01:12:09):
down. The.
Things that made her kids tick, she would write down, you know,
just special things about her kids because she's like, I had
five kids. I had to remember like, who
loves spaghetti the most and wholoves brownies the most and who
love language is quality time and who's this acts of service?
And so she don't think that you have to be super mom and

(01:12:29):
remember every single person's love language and special needs.
Write it down and keep it, you know, in your top drawer of your
dress or wherever. And you know, maybe once a week
find time to meet the needs of that child.
You know, maybe like Monday you could have one kid and do
something it it can be 10 minutes or 5 minutes and on the.

(01:12:53):
One hand, you said, well, it's hard with a lot of kids to do
this, but I think actually when you learn their love language,
it saves time because you're notpouring a lot of stuff into a
kid who doesn't care. Like I don't need to do all the
things for the same for all three kids.
You know it. So it saves me time because that
kid really doesn't care if I make them a neat craft or if I
help them clean their room. So you kind of are saving time

(01:13:15):
by narrowing it down to how doesthis kid feel loved and then get
rid of everything that they don't feel loved from.
Right, right, exactly. Well, we are out of time.
We have gone way over. But I hope that this has been
encouraging to you guys if you have not read the five love
languages book books actually. So there's the original one
that's called the five Love languages.
And then there's the five love languages for children.

(01:13:37):
And then there's another one that's the Five love languages
for teenagers. And actually there's more than
that. I mean, it goes on and on and
on. But those would be the three
main ones. I will put the links to those
three books in the show notes. And for those of you who may not
know, whenever we put links for books or you know, DVDs or
anything like that in the show notes, those go to our Amazon

(01:13:59):
affiliate account page and you pay the same amount.
But we actually that helps to support the school house walk
ministry. So if you buy things with those
links that we leave in the show notes, that actually helps,
helps us financially. I mean, we don't get rich off of
it, but you know. You'll get another episode of us
out of it, right? It does help pay for the gear

(01:14:21):
and all the things that it takesto make this podcast.
So we would love it if you do that and just help support us in
that way. So anyway, I will link to all of
these things in the show notes so that you have easy access to
them and check them out for sure.
So thank you guys again for listening today.
Please share this podcast with afriend or a family member who
you think would be encouraged byit.

(01:14:42):
And again, we love you guys. Thank you for listening today.
Thank you Abby for being with meagain.
Thanks and for goodness sake, golove on your family now
everybody. Go love them, have a great rest
of your week and we will see youback here on Monday.
Bye. You're listening to the Biblical
Family Network. Hey, I'm Miki and I'm Will and
we're the Co host of the CultureProof podcast.

(01:15:04):
We want to invite you to join usevery week as we discuss what's
happening in the world and then filter those happenings through
a decidedly biblical lens. There are many questions,
especially when we see what's happening in our culture today,
but the answers are found withinthe word of God.
So that's where we want to look.Amen.
When we resist those cultural trends that rival the truth, we

(01:15:25):
remain culture proof.

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For the Love of Homeschooling - Yvette Hampton and Aby Rinella (Best of 2021)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;} For the Love of Homeschooling - Yvette Hampton and Aby Rinella (Best of 2021)