August 26, 2025 • 39 mins
Homeschooling seven kids, managing a busy household, and keeping faith at the center—how does Sarah Molitor do it? In this uplifting episode of the Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast, host Yvette Hampton sits down with Sarah to talk about vision-driven homeschooling, nurturing your children's character, and the power of intentional parenting. Sarah gets vulnerable about her struggles with her words in marriage and motherhood and shares the story behind her book "Well Said." Walk away with practical advice on self-control, mom timeouts, and embracing progress over perfection. Perfect for moms who crave authenticity and Christ-centered encouragement!
Recommended Resources:
I Grew with You, by Sarah Molitor
The Song That Goes On and On and On and On, by Sarah Molitor
Any Given Moment: 52 Devotions and Prayers to Feel the Goodness of God, by Sarah Molitor
Well Said: Choosing Words that Speak Life, Give Grace, and Strengthen Your Faith and Family, by Sarah MolitorSarah’s Gender Reveal Video
Sponsors:
Apologia is a Christ-centered, award-winning homeschool curriculum provider. Our mission is to help homeschooling students and families learn, live, and defend the Christian faith through our print and digital curriculum and online classes.
BJU Press Homeschool is dedicated to providing homeschool families with academically strong curriculum rooted in a biblical worldview. They offer a complete curriculum from preschool through 12th grade, available in both traditional textbooks and video courses. By teaching through the lens of Christ’s power, they help students view the world through the transformative story of God’s creation
CTCMath specializes in providing online video tutorials that take a multi-sensory approach to learning. Creative graphics and animation, synchronized with the friendly voice of internationally acclaimed teacher, Pat Murray, make learning math easy and effective. Start your free trial today.
The Schoolhouse Rocked Podcast is a member of the Biblical Family Network. Our mission is to support and encourage the family by providing the very best podcasts on family, discipleship, marriage, parenting, worldview, culture, and education, all from a Biblical perspective. Visit the website for more great shows, like the Thinking Dad, Culture Proof, Homeschool Insights, and Made2Homeschool.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
There was three years Yvette where we had a mini trampoline
in there because my kid learned best on a trampoline.
He would sit there and he would jump and I would just hold it
flash cards or I would say A says at, at, at, at, B says, but
you know, we do this and he justjumped it, blah, blah, blah, and
bounce around and do it and he retained it.
(00:21):
Hey everyone, this is Yvette Hampton.
Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rock podcast.
I am back this week with Sarah Molitor from Modern Farmhouse
Family and I'm so excited to be back with her.
If you guys missed our conversation last week, go back
and listen. We had a great time talking
about her testimony, just how she was raised, her relationship
with her parents, how she's carrying that on, just the
(00:43):
carrying on that legacy of Jesusto her kids.
We talked about homeschooling and her decision to homeschool.
And lots of you know her from Instagram.
I know that you do. And so if you you missed it, go
back and listen to that. It was such a great conversation
and I was so encouraged by her. So we're back this week.
We're going to talk about some more homeschooling stuff.
We're going to talk about our words and how those play into
(01:03):
our parenting. But before we do, I want to say
thank you to our sponsor, CTC Math.
If you're looking for a math program that truly works, CTC
Math has you covered. They offer easy to follow video
lessons, step by She said since using CTC Math,
(01:33):
my daughter has stopped stressing over math and I find
her actually enjoying it. Sign up today at ctcmath.com and
start your free trial. CTC Math Math Made Easy.
You know, it's so fun talking about that.
Sarah, as we were talking about homeschooling in last week's
episode, you were talking about how one of the ways that you
(01:53):
homeschool multiple kids is thatyou have other people teach them
some of those things. And I love that because I was
thinking through our sponsors and we've got CTC math, we've
got BJU Press Home School and Apologia, and all three of those
companies all have video based lessons that people use.
We use them. I, I use all three of those to
(02:16):
teach my, my, my daughter now, but we've used them for years
and years. And it is so refreshing to have
curriculum that I can trust thatcan teach my kids for me.
And I don't have to teach specific subjects.
I do teach a lot of subjects, but but it's good to have those
to supplement. So, so thank you to all of our
sponsors. We're so grateful for them.
(02:37):
Well, I want to go back really quickly to talking about
homeschooling. Last week we were talking about
homeschooling and your decision to homeschool.
And I, I loved that conversation.
I want to talk and we talked about how you manage multiple
kids in your homeschooling, which was fantastic.
I want to talk really quickly about long term vision for your
(03:00):
home schooling and know that's something that you're passionate
about. Talk about that for just a
minute. My best friend who runs the
local classical conversations Co-op and does an excellent job
in that, I don't attend that, but she does wonderful.
Remember one time she told me, she said, you know, when I
started homeschooling, I was just kind of like, we'll decide
(03:20):
year to year. She's like which to an extent is
still true. She said.
And then I just got really convicted by what someone told
her. And that was if you don't have a
vision for the future, then you don't have a vision at all.
And I was like kind of sat on that for a little bit and I was
like, do I agree with that? Do I not agree with that?
You know, you're just trying to like, wait, like, where do I
land in that? And I was talking to my husband,
(03:41):
Tim, and I was like, you know, Ihear what she's saying.
And I actually really appreciateit because I feel like for the
past few years I've just been saying, OK, just this year,
we'll see if it works. OK, just next year we'll see if
it works. But if I'm like, if I never
fully buy into what I'm doing, am I fully into what I'm doing?
(04:02):
Or am I always having a foot or an arm out that's a just in case
foot or arm? And so from there I really
started thinking in my own life,what does that look like, Sarah?
Like what does long term vision homeschooling look like for you?
And even more, what does long term vision parenting look like
for you? So instead of just why are we
doing this today or learning this today?
(04:24):
How does that apply later when you're in a job, when you're in
that? And obviously those
conversations change based on the age, based on where they're
at. And obviously, sometimes those
conversations don't happen at all because they're like, why do
I need, you know, dividing fractions and inverting?
And I'm like, yeah, I don't, youknow, I don't know.
Not maybe not. Maybe, maybe not.
I remember when I was in high school and I had probably like,
(04:47):
a couple sassy moments when whenbecause I was a pretty good
student and very good girl. So out of that, you kind of want
to be sassy sometimes just to see what it's like.
And I remember having this moment where I asked my teacher,
I was like, well, we won't need that.
And he's like, what do you think?
You're going to have a calculator in your pocket?
And now I'm like, Oh yeah, yes. I do.
Yes, I do. So I don't really want to argue
(05:08):
with my kids on that. But I do want to say why is this
important and how does that lookdown the road?
And whether that's in home schooling or whether that's in
parenting, I want to remind themlike, hey, I am raising you as
like a child, but also someday you're going to be on your own.
And I want you to be an adult who feels like they can problem
(05:28):
solve, who feels like they can think for themselves, who feels
like they can form an opinion and back that up with the word
of God. Like I want to be that parent
that helps build that in you. So when you step out of my roof
and out of my home and dad and Iaren't around you, you feel
equipped as best you can, right,to either rely on the Lord,
(05:48):
which you always should, but also just to use your brain to
like make those good decisions. And so as I've thought more
about that established more thanthat, I feel like that's what
long term homeschooling is for me.
It's not saying we're in this forever and never will change
because nothing will stop us. It's more saying, what does this
(06:09):
look like down the road? How can I lean into teaching you
this? It's not just math, It's also
diligence and commitment. It's not just a bad test, it's
also about how do you respond inthat in self-control and
character development. And so we're building things in
our children now through homeschooling that are going to
serve them later as adults and as they go into the real world.
So good. It's so much about being
(06:30):
intentional. And we've talked about this lots
of times that, you know, we, we have to have Agps for our lives.
I mean, for our kids, for us, you know, where are we going?
If we have no idea where we're going, then we are not going to
know how to get there. We're going to just stumble
through life day-to-day, which, you know, sometimes I think as
homeschool moms, we feel like that's what we're doing.
But I think often times we're not because we actually, most,
(06:54):
if you're homeschooling, you have some sort of a plan, like
you've actually thought through something.
And so we do have, I think more of a plan than what we give
ourselves credit for. But we really do need to look,
like you said, to those adult years.
And who do we want them to be? Who does God want them to be
once they leave our home? And then how can we help them
accomplish that and serve the Lord the best that they can in
(07:17):
whatever way God chooses to use them?
And so it's, it's a high calling, but you know, with,
with the help of the Lord and the strength of the Lord, we can
get through that and he will help us day-to-day and, and
forming those plans. And every kid is so different.
I mean, Oh my. Goodness.
You've got 7 kids. I know, I'm sure they're all
different in one way or another.And so you know, how, how do you
(07:41):
navigate that because it's not aone-size-fits-all.
How do you navigate that with all of your kids trying to
figure out like, what are their own individual needs?
Yeah, and I think that's been hard too, in the sense because
you invest in a curriculum, right?
A lot of times, like you're investing in one curriculum and
you're like, OK, we're all goingto do this.
It's got to work for everyone. And then you realize, gosh, that
(08:02):
really doesn't work for that kiddo, or that's really not how
he learns. And so yes, there are options of
switching curriculums and thingslike that, but I feel like even
more So what I've learned as a mother is pace.
And how do I pace each child? Like, does this child need to
do, do we need to slow down in this subject?
Do I need to, you know, maybe reiterate these lessons and make
(08:24):
sure they really understand? And when I do that, how do I
make them not feel less than like, oh, I'm behind my brother,
I'm behind that person And let them know that you are at your
own pace and you are who you are.
Like, for instance, one of my children really struggles with
test taking. I can relate.
I am not a great natural test taker.
So I feel for, for him, like I emphasize, I'm like, I get it,
(08:45):
buddy. I, you know, it was so hard for
me. But what I love to speak to and
that is like, hey, I want you todo your very best on this test.
If your very best happens to be a 76%.
And we talked through that test and I see that you're
understanding that maybe you just didn't understand how they
were to that question. But also even more than that,
(09:06):
when you got that 76%, you were like, Hey, mom, I did my best.
You didn't throw a fit, You didn't lose self-control.
You didn't say that was a worst test ever.
And I hate math, you know, whatever it is.
Like, how are you responding to that?
Because those things are more indicative to me of where you're
at then any sort of score is ever going to show me knowing
(09:27):
that you're probably not going to be my kid who goes down and
has like a math, math focus job,right, If that's not your thing.
So I think just trying to lean into that, trying to see like,
hey, do you need to jump on the trampoline while you do flash
cards? There was three years Yvette
where we had a mini trampoline in there because my kid learned
best on a trampoline. He would sit there and he would
(09:48):
jump and I would just hold up flash cards or I would say A
says, B says, but you know, we do this and he just jump, bounce
around and do it. And he retained it far better
than if I was like, sit down, bequiet, listen to mother.
So I think just tapping into those things, being willing to
(10:10):
understand what their giftings are, identifying those quickly.
And I'm not saying like you needto know it when they're five,
what their gifting is, but I think you see some things flesh
out and then you go in that. But I love that.
And again, just going back to that flexibility piece, I think
we have to because we each have a unique relationship with
Christ, kind of like view it like a metaphor like that.
(10:32):
God isn't like, I'm this way to you and I'm also that same way
to her, right? Like he's very like tailored to
us. It's very personal.
And so in that same way as we'rereflecting Christ, like
homeschool can be very personal to that child.
Yeah, so good. I mean, you're what you're
talking about really is character over curriculum.
You know, we care so much more about their souls and their
character than we do about the actual curriculum.
(10:54):
And so you're talking about yourson, you know, he's doing his
very best and that should be with any kid.
And it is so much fun to get to learn our kids and how they
learn and and cater their their learning to how God made them.
But working on those character traits, I mean that, I'm sorry,
that is something you can't get in school.
(11:15):
You can't. Get it in a classroom because
there's not a teacher in the world who can cater to your
child and teach them all of the things that they need to learn
in the way that God created themto learn.
And she's not going to cater to their character flaws.
Only mom and dad can do that. And, and we have a
responsibility to do that as well.
And so I'm, we've had lots of days where we're like, OK, we're
(11:37):
just going to call it quits for today on the academics and we're
going to just talk about some other things today or something.
Just take a break, you know, go for a walk, go do something
that's outside of this the the home school classroom, right?
Yeah, and I love that you say that because I feel like that's
a hard thing as moms. I know it's a hard thing for me.
I know. I'm like, we are, you know,
(11:58):
starting around this time. I want to be finished by this.
I got to go grocery shopping. I got to do this.
And suddenly your day is upside down and you're 2:00 and you're
like, I'm still sitting here doing this thing.
And I have found no greater giftthan what you said to say, you
know what? We're just going to do this page
today. We'll do the other page
tomorrow. You know what?
We're going to go on a walk and get some sunshine because we all
need to get on our bikes and ride around the neighborhood.
(12:21):
And yeah, I think you just tapped on it there, that there
is no greater gift than that fora child.
So good, let's take a break. We'll be right back.
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(13:04):
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bjupresshomeschool.com. All right, Sarah, I want to talk
(13:47):
about your book. You have a a newish book.
I know it's not brand new. It's been out for just a little
while, but it's still new in theworld of books.
And it's called well said. And you're talking in this book
about just using our words, how we can use our words to create
just positive, grace filled relationships.
And I think this is so importantfor us today to know how we can
(14:08):
do that. And so talk first of all, kind
of about what like what promptedyou to even write this book?
And then let's dig into how we can use our words to honor the
Lord with our families. Yeah, I really kind of got a
surprise out-of-the-box e-mail from a publisher that said let's
talk. And I had always dreamed.
(14:28):
Now I have to tell you, I had a notebook when I was a little
girl. I would write poems, songs,
stories, books. Like I always wanted to be an
author and writer. Although it doesn't come
supernaturally to me, I can do it.
I can write. And so when I got this e-mail
was very unexpected. And she just said let's chat,
talked through several things and they basically said, hey,
like we'd love for you to cut through the red tape and give us
(14:49):
a book proposal. And I was like, how do you do
that? I don't know what, I don't know
what you're doing. She's like, well, I'll e-mail
you a template. And I said, well, what, what do
you write on? She's like, well, I don't know.
What do you want to write on? And I'm like, I, I don't know.
I don't know what I want to write on.
And she said, well, let me put it this way.
If you had one chance and one message to tell someone
something before you left for heaven, what would it be?
And I was like, oh, that's interesting.
(15:11):
Sat on that for about a day until I really felt like the
Lord dropped in my heart like hey, your words and I'm like,
that's funny. God coming to a chatterbox that
has struggled her entire life with not shutting up.
That is really funny. So I think when people sometimes
see a book on like how to use your words, well, it's like a
self help book. And I'm like, oh, trust me, this
(15:31):
was not a self help book. It really was born out of a
testimony of struggling with words over using words, not
using them in the way I should. And really learning how God
wanted me to reel that in and come out of a very hard time in
my marriage and a hard time withhow I use my words to being able
(15:52):
to share that story for His glory and share what He's done
in my life and continues to do in my life in the area of how we
speak, how we respond, how we use our words, and even just
what words we say and all of that.
So that's really where the book was born from.
And I am so grateful for it. I feel like people will pick up
and read chapter 1 and hate me, but if you can get to chapter 2,
you'll love me. So if you can just give just
(16:14):
chapter 1. And that tells me.
But it really sets the stage forjust this really difficult time
in my marriage where I was very bitter under several
circumstances. And out of that bitterness, I
decided that it would just probably be best to start making
someone else feel horrible aboutthemselves as well.
And so I used my words to do that.
(16:35):
And it was very hard to admit that I think it was the hardest
thing to write because you put that out and all sudden everyone
knows your story and it's, it's obviously there's good and
healthy things about that, but it, there was some like things I
had to work with through with the Lord in writing of like,
Lord, I am so sorry. Like I, I just, this is awful.
(16:57):
It feels shameful, honestly. And then him reminding me,
Sarah, I'm not a God of shame. I'm a God of turning all things
for my glory. And like, your story is going to
be the same. And so getting to write it was
such an honor, very hard, but also getting to hear on the
other side, women who have read it and said, like, I'm where you
are and where you were in your marriage right now.
(17:18):
And like, I want a way out. I want to get out.
And I'm like, the Lord's your way out.
Like he's going to help you. He's going to get you out.
And so hearing those testimoniesand people saying like, thank
you, because I don't want to be that wife.
I don't want to be this way and help me, help me, help myself.
And so it's just been really cool to see how the Lord's done
that. So talk about that part of your
(17:39):
testimony then, because you obviously you didn't wait until
you wrote the book in order to make that change in your life.
Obviously there was conviction before that.
Can you talk about that? Just talk about how the Lord
changed you, how He brought about that, the awareness, the
conviction that you had. When I got married to Tim, he,
(17:59):
you know, I had these dreams, like you were saying about your
daughters, where you're like, I hope they can live next to me.
And I was like, I can live next to my parents.
And he was like, live job in my hometown, you know, and we're
going to move there for a littlebit.
But yeah, sure, maybe in the future.
I should have known for sure. That was a bait and switch.
Like right at the beginning, like, you stinker, you were
tricking me. So glad, though.
But we moved to his hometown. And I, from the drive up, I can
(18:24):
tell you the bitterness started forming.
I remember leaving my hometown and I was like, you're taking me
from that. You're moving me now offset that
with yes, I'm, I'm newly marriedand I'm in love.
Like, of course, like there was all that.
It wasn't either or it was really an and it was like, this
is all wonderful and I'm being astinker.
I'm I'm functioning in my life and going to church and I'm not
(18:47):
doing well with my words, right?And, but I'm also a Christian,
so I know what to say. And behind closed doors this is
happening. So from that bitterness kind of
starting, I just watered that welike nobody's business.
I didn't like the town. I didn't like living next to
your family. I didn't like that it wasn't my
church. I didn't like that I have no
(19:08):
friends. I didn't like that.
It wasn't the scenery I wanted. And and, and, and, and
bitterness grows into discontentment and
discontentment grows into more bitterness.
And it's kind of a nasty cycle. And out of that, I started
saying things that were mean that I shouldn't have.
You've done this. You, it's you, you, you.
And but this time we had a couple kids and I would say it
(19:30):
was about when we had our secondbaby.
Things in our communication in our marriage were not well.
It was never at a point where marriage was going to dissolve.
Now, I mean, that wasn't even anoption, right?
But like poor guy, he was miserable.
His wife was really mean. And I didn't have any intentions
(19:52):
of slowing down. Like I, I can tell you this, the
thing I told you last week aboutbeing like very stubborn in a
good way. And like not swayed.
I was also not swayed if you told me I was in the wrong.
Like I was also not going to change just because you were
like, you're not being nice. I was like, prove it.
I can talk more than you. I can use my words and run
(20:12):
circles around you. And he would say things like
you'll win every argument because you just can.
And I'm like. And now that hits me in a really
hard way, you know, like, I don't want to win.
But back then I did want to win and I wanted to win and I wanted
to make it hurt. And so I did.
And I hate admitting that, but it's true.
(20:32):
And so we had our second baby. Communication was not well.
And I remember like about six months postpartum, I was just
full out angry at this point. You get to go to work, you get
to go with your friends. I'm stuck at home with a baby.
My parents aren't here. Nothing.
I want da da da. This has been going on for years
and he would say like this is sohurtful.
(20:54):
You are if you I would never saythat to you and I'm like, well,
that's a bummer for you. I was just really stuck in my
sin and I had dug a huge fit formyself.
I called my parents one night. They loved me so much.
They loved him so much too. Praise the Lord for that.
Praise the Lord that they loved him just as much as they loved
me and didn't like just have my back.
I told him everything and my dad.
(21:16):
I called my mom and she was like, so your dad's listening
and he'd like to talk to you as well.
And I was like, oh, this is going to be good.
So. And again, he had an open door
in my life for that. And I want to preface that.
And he just came on and he was like, hey, so I hear everything
you're saying, but I just want to tell you what I've seen.
And I know you think you've hidden it pretty well, but I've
(21:38):
seen some pretty ways. You've talked to your husband
when you think no one's listening and it's not OK and
it's not going to last. And if you don't change it right
now, you're not going to have a great marriage and it's going to
be miserable. And he gave me this first out of
Jeremiah 29. And it wasn't 11 because I know
everyone's like Jeremiah 2011. It was the one before that.
It was like 7-8. It was the one where it said,
(21:59):
you know, they have been exiled to the city.
And the Lord goes and he tells them, and he said, build homes,
plant yourselves. And he goes on to talk about for
in the welfare of that city is your welfare, right?
And my dad just spoke that to me.
He's like, you can be a stinker.Like you sure can.
He's like, but you're never going to prosper and it's never
going to go anywhere. And it's just going to keep
(22:20):
stinking and he's like, so do without what you want.
But it kind of felt like a kick in the pants.
We have that joke in my family, kick in the pants, like, come
on, snap out of your thing. And it felt like that.
And he left it that and I had a decision to make.
And the Lord, there are probablylots of opportunities.
I should have been convicted, but I wasn't.
But in that moment, the Holy Spirit really convicted me.
(22:43):
And literally the very next day I went into town and I was like,
what do you do when you tell someone, sorry, you get him a
gift. OK, we're going to get Timmy
gift. And I got him like chocolate and
a flannel and coffee, you know, like three favorite things.
At that time I went home, I wrote a card, but I also knew
that I need to say something because a card isn't enough.
(23:03):
And so I when he got home that day, I just fertilized.
I recognize that I have been XYZI recognize that I have said
very awful things. I don't want to be that wife.
I don't want to be that way. I really want to do better.
I just don't know how because I'm frustrated and I'm, I'm, I'm
(23:24):
not feeling content in my life. I love you.
I don't love where we are had nothing to do with my children,
my family. And he, gosh, I feel like when
my husband was born, he was justborn with about 100 extra doses
of grace because he stuck with me all through that.
And he was like, well, then why don't, why don't you just let me
help you? And he's like, because I, I, I
(23:46):
don't want you to say those things to me either.
And I'm like, I, I bet you don't.
So he was so willing to not sit with me in it.
I don't even want to use that. He was willing to walk with me
through it. And I would say, you know, I can
tell. He said, I can tell when you get
ramped up. And I think when you get ramped
up is when you start saying things you don't want to.
And so he would start leaving the room when I would get ramped
(24:07):
up. I'm going to go outside when
you're ready. And I felt like a child.
And I was like, in ways I was inmany ways I was acting like a
child. And out of that season grew a
new foundation for communication, a new way of
understanding each other, a new way of speaking and making sure
we were on the same page. Praise the Lord, praise the Lord
(24:30):
for his grace and mercy, forgiveness, redemption, all of
it. He has grown me.
The place I hated is a place I never want to leave.
The circumstances that brought me here are circumstances that
I'm so thankful for. I'm so thankful for how He's
grown me. I wish it didn't have to happen
that way. I wish, I wish I wouldn't have
said a lot of things I said. I don't wish that on anyone.
(24:52):
But the fact is it didn't happenor it did happen.
And God's forgiveness met me there and Tim's forgiveness met
me there. And the Lord has formed out of
that some really, really great lessons.
And there are days when sometimes I revert just back
just the Timmy, Timmy Binton. And I see that coming out of me
and I'm like, no devil, not today.
(25:14):
We are not going back there. Or I have to come back and say,
boys, that is not how mommy wants to talk to you.
That was not right. How I responded.
I responded out of my frustration and I ask for your
forgiveness. And in their innocence, they
forgive just like that. And I'm so grateful.
But again, I don't. I want to continue to walk in
(25:37):
freedom and ask the Lord, pleasehelp me.
Please help me not make that mistake again.
Yeah. So talk about some of maybe the
tactics that you use personally when you're I am by nature a
very strong willed person and I am a completely different person
now. Not that I'm not still strong
willed. I am, but I'm different now than
I was 30 years ago when I got married.
(26:00):
And but that has had, it's been a very, very hard transition for
me. And I've had to be very
intentional about the things that I say and more so the
things that I don't say and justusing that self-control that I,
I didn't have any of that when Igot married.
So for yourself, how have you found ways?
(26:20):
Because I know that a lot listening to this right now, you
know, maybe they can resonate with your story of the way that
they talk to their husbands. But often times, of course, as
homeschool moms, like you said, you, you'll talk to your kids
that way sometimes. And it can be really frustrating
to be a homeschool mom and to behome with your kids all day
long. And they're fighting with each
other, They're arguing with you.They're not doing what they're
(26:43):
supposed to do, you know, and inour perfect world, we're going
to open up the books in the morning and all the kids are
going to just, you know, be clean and well fed.
And it's just going to be this beautiful picture like we see on
Instagram of home schooling. And our our home is going to
look perfect. And then nobody's home ever
looks like that. So then we, you know, get into
(27:07):
this tizzy of like, well, it's not working.
And now I'm mad and I'm frustrated and I'm overwhelmed.
And so we lash out at our kids. And then her husband comes home
from work and we're lashing out at him.
Poor guy. So how, how have you found like,
like maybe give us like two or three specific pointers on how
we can use self-control when we know, Because we know, here's
(27:30):
the thing, we know when it's coming.
We know when it's there. We know when we're frustrated
and ready to just explode all over our families.
So how have you found ways to control yourself to not get to
that point? Yeah.
And I think you touched on the first one that I'm going to say,
but that is, is one of my favorite things is like, I call
it my mommy time out. And when when I said that Tim
(27:54):
would just leave the room when Iwas getting ramped up, I kind of
reversed that. And I was like, you know, what,
if I'm getting ramped up, I justneed to take a break.
I just need to walk out for two seconds.
So sometimes like, let's say you're in your school room and
things aren't going the way you want and that kids not
understanding. And sometimes I just laugh at
myself. I'm like, why are we getting
worked up that my kid doesn't understanding the one vowel and
(28:14):
two vowel rule? Like they're literally 7.
They're just figuring it out yet.
Yet we do, yet we do get worked up right.
And So what I've realized for mepersonally is that sometimes I
just need to take a break, but Idon't want it to be long, right?
It's not Mommy's going to go do this and take a nap and I'll do
this. No, I just call it like my 2
minute mommy time out. And I just say, you know what?
(28:35):
I want you to sit here and I want you to work on this right
now. And sometimes I'll even tell
them pending their age, like mommy's getting a little
frustrated and I, and I don't want to take that out on you.
So I'm just going to go back. I'm going to go in my closet for
a minute. I'm going to do a couple things
and then I'll be back out to help you.
Honestly, just the walk back. This took me some practice, but
just the walk back to the room was enough.
(28:56):
Lord help me. Like I feel it coming up and I
want to say something. I want to tell him that why
couldn't they get that answer? Come on, use your brain like in
maybe other words. And I and I go and I honestly,
genuinely, I go in my closet andI have a bench in my closet for
this purpose laugh and I just sit on my bench and I just lay
(29:17):
my head back and I just sit there for a SEC.
And then sometimes I just get back up and I walk back out and
I just needed that breather to go back out.
So that's one way that I just personally do it too.
I remember something my husband said to me one time.
He said, Oh, I wish I had a video recording so you could
hear yourself right now. And I was like, how rude, how
rude of you. But it stuck because I was like,
(29:40):
Oh my gosh, what would I sound like on video?
Like if Yvette called me on a podcast right now and she caught
me in a moment like that, I think people would be horrified,
like if they heard me in my unfiltered state, right?
And so not to sound odd or not to this, to come across odd, but
you know how in like reality TV shows, you think like, oh, they
(30:02):
probably always have a camera onthem.
I mean, I know most of it's staged, right?
But there's kind of a camera nearby.
I kind of take that for myself, that like kind of a camera
nearby mentality. Like, hey, like somebody's
watching and guess what? They are the Lord is watching
you. Like he always has his eyes on
you. And the Bible says that when we
go to heaven, we're going to be judged and we're going to be
held accountable for every idle word we speak.
(30:24):
Think all these things. And the boys and I talk about
that a lot. And they're like, he knows.
Like he knows he's always watching.
Yes. And so I feel like if we can
somehow jog that to memory that like, hey, camera nearby, like
you need to be careful what you say.
The same way you would filter a movie for your children because
(30:45):
of something the movie said, like, why can't we do that in
our everyday life? We can't be like, oh, that's a
filter. No, I'm not going to say that.
And I think sometimes that gets caught on the other end.
And people are like positive Polly all the time.
You're always spinning it positively, like, right, I'll
hear that on Instagram sometime,you know, like you're going
through a hard situation. They're like, you're so positive
about it. And I'm like, well, one, yes,
(31:06):
you're seeing snippets and what I want, like not what I want you
to see. Yes, you know, but but two no, I
have taught myself and I've trained myself and I've worked
really hard at that. Like the other side of things
doesn't serve me. You know why?
Because I've lived it because I've been in this terrible part
of marriage and it did not serveme.
(31:27):
And I don't want to be ugly, Sarah.
Like I do want to be positive, Sarah.
I do want to spin things in a realistic light that doesn't
make it look merry and cherry and bright, but that also does
paint the glory of God in the middle of it.
And so if that means it looks a little positive Polish to you,
like, yes, that is what I'm trying to do for the betterment
of my children, for the betterment of my marriage, for
(31:48):
the betterment of myself. And so mommy time out,
two-minute mommy time out, camera nearby mentality, if you
can think of those things, thoseare two things that have just
worked for me in my life. I love that so much.
It's so funny. I'm thinking of, you know, or
remember, I mean, years and years ago.
Well, people still wear them. The WWJD bracelet.
What would? Jesus do and really, I mean we
are called again, you know, not just our kids, but us to reflect
(32:10):
the character of God. And so as we think through, like
if we think, if we wake up everymorning and think, how can I be
more like Jesus today? How can I reflect God's
character to my children and to my husband and to those around
me, mostly to our children and husband, because we're not going
to really be mean to people around us.
It's going to pretty much alwaysbe to those that we love most,
(32:31):
which is ridiculous. When you think about that, you
know, why is it the people that we love most, the ones that we
hurt the most? And, and it's because I think we
just have different expectations, you know, of, of
them. They have different expectations
of us, but we are to reflect God's character.
And so those are great pointers,things to just think through.
What would Jesus do? How would Jesus act in this
(32:52):
moment, you know? I think that's making a
comeback. I see kids wearing the bracelets
again. Yeah.
I know, I know, I do too. I love it.
Well, we're out of time, but if you could just share one last
bit of wisdom and or encouragement with our audience,
what would you like to leave with them?
I just want to encourage you. What I wish someone would have
said to me is like, you don't need to wait for necessarily
(33:14):
like this big Holy Spirit conviction moment to change.
I think as women, we think, you know, something will come
rushing in and then I'll change whether it's our health, the way
we think, the way we talk, whatever it is, you know, I'll
wait for this one big thing and you can just choose to take the
next step forward. One thing we like to say in our
house is forward. Progress is progress.
That means any little step forward is a good step forward
(33:36):
in the right direction. And I think sometimes people
want to wait for this big moment.
And you don't have to, if you just take one foot in the right
direction, if you just make one small change that's good.
I think that's going to have a ripple effect on your life.
And you're going to see that theLord's going to work with that
little thing that you're willingto give.
He wants it all. But sometimes we give him
everything in like little bits, right?
So he'll take the bit you give him, and he'll work with that.
(33:57):
So keep giving him your bits. Keep giving him your little
steps. Honor him in the small things
and in the big things. But he's going to work with
that, and he's going to do big things in your life out of that.
So. Yeah.
Amen. I love that so much.
Share really quickly. So so your book is called Well
said. And we will put, of course,
we'll put links to her book in the show notes.
And then I know you've written acouple of children's books as
(34:18):
well. Tell me about this.
Yeah, I wrote two children's books.
The first one and I love, I haveto tell you, like the child in
me loves children's books even more.
I love rhyme. I love all this.
So both my books are written in rhyme.
It's the only way my mind thinks.
And the first one is called I Grew With You.
It is a sweet, sweet book. I always call it my baby shower
book because it is the story of a mother finding out she's
(34:39):
pregnant and going all the way through all nine months.
So as you turn each set of pages, that's a new month in the
pregnancy, but it's something that your children can follow
along with. So it's animated, it's sweet, it
talks about, you know, 4th month, mommy wants all the
snacks. So daddy runs to the grocery
store and gets her all the snacks she wants.
And you can see each month as the page turns her belly visibly
growing. Each page actually has a
(35:01):
different mom as well. So I love that you see moms have
all different shapes and sizes and all different ways of
growing. And the tagline is just that.
And through each passing month, I knew this to be true.
The more my belly grew, the moreI grew with you.
And and that little riff changeseach page.
But this sentiment is the same that just as we're growing,
we're growing with our children.And it goes on beyond birth.
(35:22):
It's a real sweet book. I hope you guys.
Love it so. Much that's my baby book because
it was also my first book that Ibore out of writing and then my
second book is 1. I heard a lot of people say fun
colors, bright things, animals rhyme, silly.
And I had this little boy or I have this little boy, I had a
little boy, I have one of my sons who is just brimming with
(35:45):
joy. And I remember being in the
shower one day and I felt like this line came to me that said
all the joy that you carry is what makes you marry and always
lives deep in your heart. And out of that is born this
book. You will open the page.
There is over 100 animals in this book that your kids can spy
bright colors. And it's all about a whale who
has a song. He lets his song out.
(36:05):
It spews all through the earth to other animals.
It affects them. They share their songs.
And at the end, we just realizedthat you 2 have a song that's
with you all along and you carryit with you all around.
It's unique to you and all that you do.
So let others join in. Its sound so really fun.
All about joy. And I hope you guys, that one's
called the song that goes on andon and on and on.
(36:26):
And on and on and on. Yes, like the song that doesn't
end. I love it so much.
And really quickly. I know you've got a new book
coming out in September, right? Yes.
Which isn't too far from now. My gosh, do you want to tell us
about that really quickly? You're the first one to find out
and I will tell you you literally.
Are on the sky house rock podcast you.
Literally did because I, I don'tthink I'm even announcing the
(36:47):
name for another month and a half, but here you go.
I am so excited that I wrote andit's going to be released my
very first devotional and it is called Any given moment 52
devotions to encourage you and help you feel the goodness of
God. And my hope in that is that you
will just open these pages. You will have a 5 to 7 minute
(37:09):
encouragement. They're kind of like popcorn
encouragements. One thing I love about it that
I'll share with you specifically, and one thing I
had wanted was there's a topicalindex in the back because I
really want someone to be able to go to the back and say like
I'm struggling with worry, wherecan I look?
And it will give you page, page,page where all you can see and
be encouraged about worry. So I'm thrilled for that.
(37:30):
I cannot wait for you guys to see it.
It's actually full color. However, it's beautiful and you
are going to love it so. So fun.
I cannot wait for that to come out.
I love devotionals. I did not used to actually, but
now I, I use them along of course, with the word of God,
you know, read my Bible first. But I'm finding that I really am
(37:50):
encouraged by devotional. Sometimes I just need a
different perspective. I need somebody else to help me
just walk through the encouragement that I need for
that day. And so many times I cannot
believe how many times I'll openup a devotional or a prayer
booklet or something like that. And I'm like, this is exactly
what I needed today. Like it's just amazing how the
(38:10):
Lord uses it. So, so thank you for sharing
that with us. We are very excited.
We will put links to your website and to your Instagram
and everything Sarah Molitor, soyou guys can find her.
Thank you so much Sarah for being with us this week and
last. It has been such a pleasure
chatting with you and thank you guys so much for listening.
We love you guys so much. If there's any way we can be
praying for you, send us an e-mail and let us know how we
(38:32):
can pray for you. Again, you can find everything
at our website, schoolhouserock.com.
Stay tuned at the very end to hear what's coming up next week
on the podcast, and we will see you back here then.
Bye. You're listening to the Biblical
family network. Hey, I'm Miki and I'm Will and
we're the Co host of the cultureProof podcast.
(38:54):
We want to invite you to join usevery week as we discuss what's
happening in the world and then filter those happenings through
a decidedly biblical lens. There are many questions,
especially when we see what's happening in our culture today,
but the answers are found withinthe word of God.
So that's where we want to look.Amen.
When we resist those cultural trends that rival the truth, we
(39:14):
remain culture proof. God had just created everything
from nothing. Hebrews tells us everything from
nothing. And I believe that after that
creative work, that incredible endeavor, he simply wanted to
stop and enjoy it. And what a beautiful example for
us because as homeschool parents, we are so prone to just
(39:35):
go, go, go, cross it off the list, get the lessons done, get
through the curriculum. But God gives us this example.
Stop and delight, take joy in this beautiful work that you get
to do in your home.
There was three years Yvette where we had a mini trampoline
in there because my kid learned best on a trampoline.
He would sit there and he would jump and I would just hold it
flash cards or I would say A says at, at, at, at, B says, but
you know, we do this and he justjumped it, blah, blah, blah, and
bounce around and do it and he retained it.
(00:21):
Hey everyone, this is Yvette Hampton.
Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rock podcast.
I am back this week with Sarah Molitor from Modern Farmhouse
Family and I'm so excited to be back with her.
If you guys missed our conversation last week, go back
and listen. We had a great time talking
about her testimony, just how she was raised, her relationship
with her parents, how she's carrying that on, just the
(00:43):
carrying on that legacy of Jesusto her kids.
We talked about homeschooling and her decision to homeschool.
And lots of you know her from Instagram.
I know that you do. And so if you you missed it, go
back and listen to that. It was such a great conversation
and I was so encouraged by her. So we're back this week.
We're going to talk about some more homeschooling stuff.
We're going to talk about our words and how those play into
(01:03):
our parenting. But before we do, I want to say
thank you to our sponsor, CTC Math.
If you're looking for a math program that truly works, CTC
Math has you covered. They offer easy to follow video
lessons, step by She said since using CTC Math,
(01:33):
my daughter has stopped stressing over math and I find
her actually enjoying it. Sign up today at ctcmath.com and
start your free trial. CTC Math Math Made Easy.
You know, it's so fun talking about that.
Sarah, as we were talking about homeschooling in last week's
episode, you were talking about how one of the ways that you
(01:53):
homeschool multiple kids is thatyou have other people teach them
some of those things. And I love that because I was
thinking through our sponsors and we've got CTC math, we've
got BJU Press Home School and Apologia, and all three of those
companies all have video based lessons that people use.
We use them. I, I use all three of those to
(02:16):
teach my, my, my daughter now, but we've used them for years
and years. And it is so refreshing to have
curriculum that I can trust thatcan teach my kids for me.
And I don't have to teach specific subjects.
I do teach a lot of subjects, but but it's good to have those
to supplement. So, so thank you to all of our
sponsors. We're so grateful for them.
(02:37):
Well, I want to go back really quickly to talking about
homeschooling. Last week we were talking about
homeschooling and your decision to homeschool.
And I, I loved that conversation.
I want to talk and we talked about how you manage multiple
kids in your homeschooling, which was fantastic.
I want to talk really quickly about long term vision for your
(03:00):
home schooling and know that's something that you're passionate
about. Talk about that for just a
minute. My best friend who runs the
local classical conversations Co-op and does an excellent job
in that, I don't attend that, but she does wonderful.
Remember one time she told me, she said, you know, when I
started homeschooling, I was just kind of like, we'll decide
(03:20):
year to year. She's like which to an extent is
still true. She said.
And then I just got really convicted by what someone told
her. And that was if you don't have a
vision for the future, then you don't have a vision at all.
And I was like kind of sat on that for a little bit and I was
like, do I agree with that? Do I not agree with that?
You know, you're just trying to like, wait, like, where do I
land in that? And I was talking to my husband,
(03:41):
Tim, and I was like, you know, Ihear what she's saying.
And I actually really appreciateit because I feel like for the
past few years I've just been saying, OK, just this year,
we'll see if it works. OK, just next year we'll see if
it works. But if I'm like, if I never
fully buy into what I'm doing, am I fully into what I'm doing?
(04:02):
Or am I always having a foot or an arm out that's a just in case
foot or arm? And so from there I really
started thinking in my own life,what does that look like, Sarah?
Like what does long term vision homeschooling look like for you?
And even more, what does long term vision parenting look like
for you? So instead of just why are we
doing this today or learning this today?
(04:24):
How does that apply later when you're in a job, when you're in
that? And obviously those
conversations change based on the age, based on where they're
at. And obviously, sometimes those
conversations don't happen at all because they're like, why do
I need, you know, dividing fractions and inverting?
And I'm like, yeah, I don't, youknow, I don't know.
Not maybe not. Maybe, maybe not.
I remember when I was in high school and I had probably like,
(04:47):
a couple sassy moments when whenbecause I was a pretty good
student and very good girl. So out of that, you kind of want
to be sassy sometimes just to see what it's like.
And I remember having this moment where I asked my teacher,
I was like, well, we won't need that.
And he's like, what do you think?
You're going to have a calculator in your pocket?
And now I'm like, Oh yeah, yes. I do.
Yes, I do. So I don't really want to argue
(05:08):
with my kids on that. But I do want to say why is this
important and how does that lookdown the road?
And whether that's in home schooling or whether that's in
parenting, I want to remind themlike, hey, I am raising you as
like a child, but also someday you're going to be on your own.
And I want you to be an adult who feels like they can problem
(05:28):
solve, who feels like they can think for themselves, who feels
like they can form an opinion and back that up with the word
of God. Like I want to be that parent
that helps build that in you. So when you step out of my roof
and out of my home and dad and Iaren't around you, you feel
equipped as best you can, right,to either rely on the Lord,
(05:48):
which you always should, but also just to use your brain to
like make those good decisions. And so as I've thought more
about that established more thanthat, I feel like that's what
long term homeschooling is for me.
It's not saying we're in this forever and never will change
because nothing will stop us. It's more saying, what does this
(06:09):
look like down the road? How can I lean into teaching you
this? It's not just math, It's also
diligence and commitment. It's not just a bad test, it's
also about how do you respond inthat in self-control and
character development. And so we're building things in
our children now through homeschooling that are going to
serve them later as adults and as they go into the real world.
So good. It's so much about being
(06:30):
intentional. And we've talked about this lots
of times that, you know, we, we have to have Agps for our lives.
I mean, for our kids, for us, you know, where are we going?
If we have no idea where we're going, then we are not going to
know how to get there. We're going to just stumble
through life day-to-day, which, you know, sometimes I think as
homeschool moms, we feel like that's what we're doing.
But I think often times we're not because we actually, most,
(06:54):
if you're homeschooling, you have some sort of a plan, like
you've actually thought through something.
And so we do have, I think more of a plan than what we give
ourselves credit for. But we really do need to look,
like you said, to those adult years.
And who do we want them to be? Who does God want them to be
once they leave our home? And then how can we help them
accomplish that and serve the Lord the best that they can in
(07:17):
whatever way God chooses to use them?
And so it's, it's a high calling, but you know, with,
with the help of the Lord and the strength of the Lord, we can
get through that and he will help us day-to-day and, and
forming those plans. And every kid is so different.
I mean, Oh my. Goodness.
You've got 7 kids. I know, I'm sure they're all
different in one way or another.And so you know, how, how do you
(07:41):
navigate that because it's not aone-size-fits-all.
How do you navigate that with all of your kids trying to
figure out like, what are their own individual needs?
Yeah, and I think that's been hard too, in the sense because
you invest in a curriculum, right?
A lot of times, like you're investing in one curriculum and
you're like, OK, we're all goingto do this.
It's got to work for everyone. And then you realize, gosh, that
(08:02):
really doesn't work for that kiddo, or that's really not how
he learns. And so yes, there are options of
switching curriculums and thingslike that, but I feel like even
more So what I've learned as a mother is pace.
And how do I pace each child? Like, does this child need to
do, do we need to slow down in this subject?
Do I need to, you know, maybe reiterate these lessons and make
(08:24):
sure they really understand? And when I do that, how do I
make them not feel less than like, oh, I'm behind my brother,
I'm behind that person And let them know that you are at your
own pace and you are who you are.
Like, for instance, one of my children really struggles with
test taking. I can relate.
I am not a great natural test taker.
So I feel for, for him, like I emphasize, I'm like, I get it,
(08:45):
buddy. I, you know, it was so hard for
me. But what I love to speak to and
that is like, hey, I want you todo your very best on this test.
If your very best happens to be a 76%.
And we talked through that test and I see that you're
understanding that maybe you just didn't understand how they
were to that question. But also even more than that,
(09:06):
when you got that 76%, you were like, Hey, mom, I did my best.
You didn't throw a fit, You didn't lose self-control.
You didn't say that was a worst test ever.
And I hate math, you know, whatever it is.
Like, how are you responding to that?
Because those things are more indicative to me of where you're
at then any sort of score is ever going to show me knowing
(09:27):
that you're probably not going to be my kid who goes down and
has like a math, math focus job,right, If that's not your thing.
So I think just trying to lean into that, trying to see like,
hey, do you need to jump on the trampoline while you do flash
cards? There was three years Yvette
where we had a mini trampoline in there because my kid learned
best on a trampoline. He would sit there and he would
(09:48):
jump and I would just hold up flash cards or I would say A
says, B says, but you know, we do this and he just jump, bounce
around and do it. And he retained it far better
than if I was like, sit down, bequiet, listen to mother.
So I think just tapping into those things, being willing to
(10:10):
understand what their giftings are, identifying those quickly.
And I'm not saying like you needto know it when they're five,
what their gifting is, but I think you see some things flesh
out and then you go in that. But I love that.
And again, just going back to that flexibility piece, I think
we have to because we each have a unique relationship with
Christ, kind of like view it like a metaphor like that.
(10:32):
God isn't like, I'm this way to you and I'm also that same way
to her, right? Like he's very like tailored to
us. It's very personal.
And so in that same way as we'rereflecting Christ, like
homeschool can be very personal to that child.
Yeah, so good. I mean, you're what you're
talking about really is character over curriculum.
You know, we care so much more about their souls and their
character than we do about the actual curriculum.
(10:54):
And so you're talking about yourson, you know, he's doing his
very best and that should be with any kid.
And it is so much fun to get to learn our kids and how they
learn and and cater their their learning to how God made them.
But working on those character traits, I mean that, I'm sorry,
that is something you can't get in school.
(11:15):
You can't. Get it in a classroom because
there's not a teacher in the world who can cater to your
child and teach them all of the things that they need to learn
in the way that God created themto learn.
And she's not going to cater to their character flaws.
Only mom and dad can do that. And, and we have a
responsibility to do that as well.
And so I'm, we've had lots of days where we're like, OK, we're
(11:37):
just going to call it quits for today on the academics and we're
going to just talk about some other things today or something.
Just take a break, you know, go for a walk, go do something
that's outside of this the the home school classroom, right?
Yeah, and I love that you say that because I feel like that's
a hard thing as moms. I know it's a hard thing for me.
I know. I'm like, we are, you know,
(11:58):
starting around this time. I want to be finished by this.
I got to go grocery shopping. I got to do this.
And suddenly your day is upside down and you're 2:00 and you're
like, I'm still sitting here doing this thing.
And I have found no greater giftthan what you said to say, you
know what? We're just going to do this page
today. We'll do the other page
tomorrow. You know what?
We're going to go on a walk and get some sunshine because we all
need to get on our bikes and ride around the neighborhood.
(12:21):
And yeah, I think you just tapped on it there, that there
is no greater gift than that fora child.
So good, let's take a break. We'll be right back.
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(12:42):
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bjupresshomeschool.com. All right, Sarah, I want to talk
(13:47):
about your book. You have a a newish book.
I know it's not brand new. It's been out for just a little
while, but it's still new in theworld of books.
And it's called well said. And you're talking in this book
about just using our words, how we can use our words to create
just positive, grace filled relationships.
And I think this is so importantfor us today to know how we can
(14:08):
do that. And so talk first of all, kind
of about what like what promptedyou to even write this book?
And then let's dig into how we can use our words to honor the
Lord with our families. Yeah, I really kind of got a
surprise out-of-the-box e-mail from a publisher that said let's
talk. And I had always dreamed.
(14:28):
Now I have to tell you, I had a notebook when I was a little
girl. I would write poems, songs,
stories, books. Like I always wanted to be an
author and writer. Although it doesn't come
supernaturally to me, I can do it.
I can write. And so when I got this e-mail
was very unexpected. And she just said let's chat,
talked through several things and they basically said, hey,
like we'd love for you to cut through the red tape and give us
(14:49):
a book proposal. And I was like, how do you do
that? I don't know what, I don't know
what you're doing. She's like, well, I'll e-mail
you a template. And I said, well, what, what do
you write on? She's like, well, I don't know.
What do you want to write on? And I'm like, I, I don't know.
I don't know what I want to write on.
And she said, well, let me put it this way.
If you had one chance and one message to tell someone
something before you left for heaven, what would it be?
And I was like, oh, that's interesting.
(15:11):
Sat on that for about a day until I really felt like the
Lord dropped in my heart like hey, your words and I'm like,
that's funny. God coming to a chatterbox that
has struggled her entire life with not shutting up.
That is really funny. So I think when people sometimes
see a book on like how to use your words, well, it's like a
self help book. And I'm like, oh, trust me, this
(15:31):
was not a self help book. It really was born out of a
testimony of struggling with words over using words, not
using them in the way I should. And really learning how God
wanted me to reel that in and come out of a very hard time in
my marriage and a hard time withhow I use my words to being able
(15:52):
to share that story for His glory and share what He's done
in my life and continues to do in my life in the area of how we
speak, how we respond, how we use our words, and even just
what words we say and all of that.
So that's really where the book was born from.
And I am so grateful for it. I feel like people will pick up
and read chapter 1 and hate me, but if you can get to chapter 2,
you'll love me. So if you can just give just
(16:14):
chapter 1. And that tells me.
But it really sets the stage forjust this really difficult time
in my marriage where I was very bitter under several
circumstances. And out of that bitterness, I
decided that it would just probably be best to start making
someone else feel horrible aboutthemselves as well.
And so I used my words to do that.
(16:35):
And it was very hard to admit that I think it was the hardest
thing to write because you put that out and all sudden everyone
knows your story and it's, it's obviously there's good and
healthy things about that, but it, there was some like things I
had to work with through with the Lord in writing of like,
Lord, I am so sorry. Like I, I just, this is awful.
(16:57):
It feels shameful, honestly. And then him reminding me,
Sarah, I'm not a God of shame. I'm a God of turning all things
for my glory. And like, your story is going to
be the same. And so getting to write it was
such an honor, very hard, but also getting to hear on the
other side, women who have read it and said, like, I'm where you
are and where you were in your marriage right now.
(17:18):
And like, I want a way out. I want to get out.
And I'm like, the Lord's your way out.
Like he's going to help you. He's going to get you out.
And so hearing those testimoniesand people saying like, thank
you, because I don't want to be that wife.
I don't want to be this way and help me, help me, help myself.
And so it's just been really cool to see how the Lord's done
that. So talk about that part of your
(17:39):
testimony then, because you obviously you didn't wait until
you wrote the book in order to make that change in your life.
Obviously there was conviction before that.
Can you talk about that? Just talk about how the Lord
changed you, how He brought about that, the awareness, the
conviction that you had. When I got married to Tim, he,
(17:59):
you know, I had these dreams, like you were saying about your
daughters, where you're like, I hope they can live next to me.
And I was like, I can live next to my parents.
And he was like, live job in my hometown, you know, and we're
going to move there for a littlebit.
But yeah, sure, maybe in the future.
I should have known for sure. That was a bait and switch.
Like right at the beginning, like, you stinker, you were
tricking me. So glad, though.
But we moved to his hometown. And I, from the drive up, I can
(18:24):
tell you the bitterness started forming.
I remember leaving my hometown and I was like, you're taking me
from that. You're moving me now offset that
with yes, I'm, I'm newly marriedand I'm in love.
Like, of course, like there was all that.
It wasn't either or it was really an and it was like, this
is all wonderful and I'm being astinker.
I'm I'm functioning in my life and going to church and I'm not
(18:47):
doing well with my words, right?And, but I'm also a Christian,
so I know what to say. And behind closed doors this is
happening. So from that bitterness kind of
starting, I just watered that welike nobody's business.
I didn't like the town. I didn't like living next to
your family. I didn't like that it wasn't my
church. I didn't like that I have no
(19:08):
friends. I didn't like that.
It wasn't the scenery I wanted. And and, and, and, and
bitterness grows into discontentment and
discontentment grows into more bitterness.
And it's kind of a nasty cycle. And out of that, I started
saying things that were mean that I shouldn't have.
You've done this. You, it's you, you, you.
And but this time we had a couple kids and I would say it
(19:30):
was about when we had our secondbaby.
Things in our communication in our marriage were not well.
It was never at a point where marriage was going to dissolve.
Now, I mean, that wasn't even anoption, right?
But like poor guy, he was miserable.
His wife was really mean. And I didn't have any intentions
(19:52):
of slowing down. Like I, I can tell you this, the
thing I told you last week aboutbeing like very stubborn in a
good way. And like not swayed.
I was also not swayed if you told me I was in the wrong.
Like I was also not going to change just because you were
like, you're not being nice. I was like, prove it.
I can talk more than you. I can use my words and run
(20:12):
circles around you. And he would say things like
you'll win every argument because you just can.
And I'm like. And now that hits me in a really
hard way, you know, like, I don't want to win.
But back then I did want to win and I wanted to win and I wanted
to make it hurt. And so I did.
And I hate admitting that, but it's true.
(20:32):
And so we had our second baby. Communication was not well.
And I remember like about six months postpartum, I was just
full out angry at this point. You get to go to work, you get
to go with your friends. I'm stuck at home with a baby.
My parents aren't here. Nothing.
I want da da da. This has been going on for years
and he would say like this is sohurtful.
(20:54):
You are if you I would never saythat to you and I'm like, well,
that's a bummer for you. I was just really stuck in my
sin and I had dug a huge fit formyself.
I called my parents one night. They loved me so much.
They loved him so much too. Praise the Lord for that.
Praise the Lord that they loved him just as much as they loved
me and didn't like just have my back.
I told him everything and my dad.
(21:16):
I called my mom and she was like, so your dad's listening
and he'd like to talk to you as well.
And I was like, oh, this is going to be good.
So. And again, he had an open door
in my life for that. And I want to preface that.
And he just came on and he was like, hey, so I hear everything
you're saying, but I just want to tell you what I've seen.
And I know you think you've hidden it pretty well, but I've
(21:38):
seen some pretty ways. You've talked to your husband
when you think no one's listening and it's not OK and
it's not going to last. And if you don't change it right
now, you're not going to have a great marriage and it's going to
be miserable. And he gave me this first out of
Jeremiah 29. And it wasn't 11 because I know
everyone's like Jeremiah 2011. It was the one before that.
It was like 7-8. It was the one where it said,
(21:59):
you know, they have been exiled to the city.
And the Lord goes and he tells them, and he said, build homes,
plant yourselves. And he goes on to talk about for
in the welfare of that city is your welfare, right?
And my dad just spoke that to me.
He's like, you can be a stinker.Like you sure can.
He's like, but you're never going to prosper and it's never
going to go anywhere. And it's just going to keep
(22:20):
stinking and he's like, so do without what you want.
But it kind of felt like a kick in the pants.
We have that joke in my family, kick in the pants, like, come
on, snap out of your thing. And it felt like that.
And he left it that and I had a decision to make.
And the Lord, there are probablylots of opportunities.
I should have been convicted, but I wasn't.
But in that moment, the Holy Spirit really convicted me.
(22:43):
And literally the very next day I went into town and I was like,
what do you do when you tell someone, sorry, you get him a
gift. OK, we're going to get Timmy
gift. And I got him like chocolate and
a flannel and coffee, you know, like three favorite things.
At that time I went home, I wrote a card, but I also knew
that I need to say something because a card isn't enough.
(23:03):
And so I when he got home that day, I just fertilized.
I recognize that I have been XYZI recognize that I have said
very awful things. I don't want to be that wife.
I don't want to be that way. I really want to do better.
I just don't know how because I'm frustrated and I'm, I'm, I'm
(23:24):
not feeling content in my life. I love you.
I don't love where we are had nothing to do with my children,
my family. And he, gosh, I feel like when
my husband was born, he was justborn with about 100 extra doses
of grace because he stuck with me all through that.
And he was like, well, then why don't, why don't you just let me
help you? And he's like, because I, I, I
(23:46):
don't want you to say those things to me either.
And I'm like, I, I bet you don't.
So he was so willing to not sit with me in it.
I don't even want to use that. He was willing to walk with me
through it. And I would say, you know, I can
tell. He said, I can tell when you get
ramped up. And I think when you get ramped
up is when you start saying things you don't want to.
And so he would start leaving the room when I would get ramped
(24:07):
up. I'm going to go outside when
you're ready. And I felt like a child.
And I was like, in ways I was inmany ways I was acting like a
child. And out of that season grew a
new foundation for communication, a new way of
understanding each other, a new way of speaking and making sure
we were on the same page. Praise the Lord, praise the Lord
(24:30):
for his grace and mercy, forgiveness, redemption, all of
it. He has grown me.
The place I hated is a place I never want to leave.
The circumstances that brought me here are circumstances that
I'm so thankful for. I'm so thankful for how He's
grown me. I wish it didn't have to happen
that way. I wish, I wish I wouldn't have
said a lot of things I said. I don't wish that on anyone.
(24:52):
But the fact is it didn't happenor it did happen.
And God's forgiveness met me there and Tim's forgiveness met
me there. And the Lord has formed out of
that some really, really great lessons.
And there are days when sometimes I revert just back
just the Timmy, Timmy Binton. And I see that coming out of me
and I'm like, no devil, not today.
(25:14):
We are not going back there. Or I have to come back and say,
boys, that is not how mommy wants to talk to you.
That was not right. How I responded.
I responded out of my frustration and I ask for your
forgiveness. And in their innocence, they
forgive just like that. And I'm so grateful.
But again, I don't. I want to continue to walk in
(25:37):
freedom and ask the Lord, pleasehelp me.
Please help me not make that mistake again.
Yeah. So talk about some of maybe the
tactics that you use personally when you're I am by nature a
very strong willed person and I am a completely different person
now. Not that I'm not still strong
willed. I am, but I'm different now than
I was 30 years ago when I got married.
(26:00):
And but that has had, it's been a very, very hard transition for
me. And I've had to be very
intentional about the things that I say and more so the
things that I don't say and justusing that self-control that I,
I didn't have any of that when Igot married.
So for yourself, how have you found ways?
(26:20):
Because I know that a lot listening to this right now, you
know, maybe they can resonate with your story of the way that
they talk to their husbands. But often times, of course, as
homeschool moms, like you said, you, you'll talk to your kids
that way sometimes. And it can be really frustrating
to be a homeschool mom and to behome with your kids all day
long. And they're fighting with each
other, They're arguing with you.They're not doing what they're
(26:43):
supposed to do, you know, and inour perfect world, we're going
to open up the books in the morning and all the kids are
going to just, you know, be clean and well fed.
And it's just going to be this beautiful picture like we see on
Instagram of home schooling. And our our home is going to
look perfect. And then nobody's home ever
looks like that. So then we, you know, get into
(27:07):
this tizzy of like, well, it's not working.
And now I'm mad and I'm frustrated and I'm overwhelmed.
And so we lash out at our kids. And then her husband comes home
from work and we're lashing out at him.
Poor guy. So how, how have you found like,
like maybe give us like two or three specific pointers on how
we can use self-control when we know, Because we know, here's
(27:30):
the thing, we know when it's coming.
We know when it's there. We know when we're frustrated
and ready to just explode all over our families.
So how have you found ways to control yourself to not get to
that point? Yeah.
And I think you touched on the first one that I'm going to say,
but that is, is one of my favorite things is like, I call
it my mommy time out. And when when I said that Tim
(27:54):
would just leave the room when Iwas getting ramped up, I kind of
reversed that. And I was like, you know, what,
if I'm getting ramped up, I justneed to take a break.
I just need to walk out for two seconds.
So sometimes like, let's say you're in your school room and
things aren't going the way you want and that kids not
understanding. And sometimes I just laugh at
myself. I'm like, why are we getting
worked up that my kid doesn't understanding the one vowel and
(28:14):
two vowel rule? Like they're literally 7.
They're just figuring it out yet.
Yet we do, yet we do get worked up right.
And So what I've realized for mepersonally is that sometimes I
just need to take a break, but Idon't want it to be long, right?
It's not Mommy's going to go do this and take a nap and I'll do
this. No, I just call it like my 2
minute mommy time out. And I just say, you know what?
(28:35):
I want you to sit here and I want you to work on this right
now. And sometimes I'll even tell
them pending their age, like mommy's getting a little
frustrated and I, and I don't want to take that out on you.
So I'm just going to go back. I'm going to go in my closet for
a minute. I'm going to do a couple things
and then I'll be back out to help you.
Honestly, just the walk back. This took me some practice, but
just the walk back to the room was enough.
(28:56):
Lord help me. Like I feel it coming up and I
want to say something. I want to tell him that why
couldn't they get that answer? Come on, use your brain like in
maybe other words. And I and I go and I honestly,
genuinely, I go in my closet andI have a bench in my closet for
this purpose laugh and I just sit on my bench and I just lay
(29:17):
my head back and I just sit there for a SEC.
And then sometimes I just get back up and I walk back out and
I just needed that breather to go back out.
So that's one way that I just personally do it too.
I remember something my husband said to me one time.
He said, Oh, I wish I had a video recording so you could
hear yourself right now. And I was like, how rude, how
rude of you. But it stuck because I was like,
(29:40):
Oh my gosh, what would I sound like on video?
Like if Yvette called me on a podcast right now and she caught
me in a moment like that, I think people would be horrified,
like if they heard me in my unfiltered state, right?
And so not to sound odd or not to this, to come across odd, but
you know how in like reality TV shows, you think like, oh, they
(30:02):
probably always have a camera onthem.
I mean, I know most of it's staged, right?
But there's kind of a camera nearby.
I kind of take that for myself, that like kind of a camera
nearby mentality. Like, hey, like somebody's
watching and guess what? They are the Lord is watching
you. Like he always has his eyes on
you. And the Bible says that when we
go to heaven, we're going to be judged and we're going to be
held accountable for every idle word we speak.
(30:24):
Think all these things. And the boys and I talk about
that a lot. And they're like, he knows.
Like he knows he's always watching.
Yes. And so I feel like if we can
somehow jog that to memory that like, hey, camera nearby, like
you need to be careful what you say.
The same way you would filter a movie for your children because
(30:45):
of something the movie said, like, why can't we do that in
our everyday life? We can't be like, oh, that's a
filter. No, I'm not going to say that.
And I think sometimes that gets caught on the other end.
And people are like positive Polly all the time.
You're always spinning it positively, like, right, I'll
hear that on Instagram sometime,you know, like you're going
through a hard situation. They're like, you're so positive
about it. And I'm like, well, one, yes,
(31:06):
you're seeing snippets and what I want, like not what I want you
to see. Yes, you know, but but two no, I
have taught myself and I've trained myself and I've worked
really hard at that. Like the other side of things
doesn't serve me. You know why?
Because I've lived it because I've been in this terrible part
of marriage and it did not serveme.
(31:27):
And I don't want to be ugly, Sarah.
Like I do want to be positive, Sarah.
I do want to spin things in a realistic light that doesn't
make it look merry and cherry and bright, but that also does
paint the glory of God in the middle of it.
And so if that means it looks a little positive Polish to you,
like, yes, that is what I'm trying to do for the betterment
of my children, for the betterment of my marriage, for
(31:48):
the betterment of myself. And so mommy time out,
two-minute mommy time out, camera nearby mentality, if you
can think of those things, thoseare two things that have just
worked for me in my life. I love that so much.
It's so funny. I'm thinking of, you know, or
remember, I mean, years and years ago.
Well, people still wear them. The WWJD bracelet.
What would? Jesus do and really, I mean we
are called again, you know, not just our kids, but us to reflect
(32:10):
the character of God. And so as we think through, like
if we think, if we wake up everymorning and think, how can I be
more like Jesus today? How can I reflect God's
character to my children and to my husband and to those around
me, mostly to our children and husband, because we're not going
to really be mean to people around us.
It's going to pretty much alwaysbe to those that we love most,
(32:31):
which is ridiculous. When you think about that, you
know, why is it the people that we love most, the ones that we
hurt the most? And, and it's because I think we
just have different expectations, you know, of, of
them. They have different expectations
of us, but we are to reflect God's character.
And so those are great pointers,things to just think through.
What would Jesus do? How would Jesus act in this
(32:52):
moment, you know? I think that's making a
comeback. I see kids wearing the bracelets
again. Yeah.
I know, I know, I do too. I love it.
Well, we're out of time, but if you could just share one last
bit of wisdom and or encouragement with our audience,
what would you like to leave with them?
I just want to encourage you. What I wish someone would have
said to me is like, you don't need to wait for necessarily
(33:14):
like this big Holy Spirit conviction moment to change.
I think as women, we think, you know, something will come
rushing in and then I'll change whether it's our health, the way
we think, the way we talk, whatever it is, you know, I'll
wait for this one big thing and you can just choose to take the
next step forward. One thing we like to say in our
house is forward. Progress is progress.
That means any little step forward is a good step forward
(33:36):
in the right direction. And I think sometimes people
want to wait for this big moment.
And you don't have to, if you just take one foot in the right
direction, if you just make one small change that's good.
I think that's going to have a ripple effect on your life.
And you're going to see that theLord's going to work with that
little thing that you're willingto give.
He wants it all. But sometimes we give him
everything in like little bits, right?
So he'll take the bit you give him, and he'll work with that.
(33:57):
So keep giving him your bits. Keep giving him your little
steps. Honor him in the small things
and in the big things. But he's going to work with
that, and he's going to do big things in your life out of that.
So. Yeah.
Amen. I love that so much.
Share really quickly. So so your book is called Well
said. And we will put, of course,
we'll put links to her book in the show notes.
And then I know you've written acouple of children's books as
(34:18):
well. Tell me about this.
Yeah, I wrote two children's books.
The first one and I love, I haveto tell you, like the child in
me loves children's books even more.
I love rhyme. I love all this.
So both my books are written in rhyme.
It's the only way my mind thinks.
And the first one is called I Grew With You.
It is a sweet, sweet book. I always call it my baby shower
book because it is the story of a mother finding out she's
(34:39):
pregnant and going all the way through all nine months.
So as you turn each set of pages, that's a new month in the
pregnancy, but it's something that your children can follow
along with. So it's animated, it's sweet, it
talks about, you know, 4th month, mommy wants all the
snacks. So daddy runs to the grocery
store and gets her all the snacks she wants.
And you can see each month as the page turns her belly visibly
growing. Each page actually has a
(35:01):
different mom as well. So I love that you see moms have
all different shapes and sizes and all different ways of
growing. And the tagline is just that.
And through each passing month, I knew this to be true.
The more my belly grew, the moreI grew with you.
And and that little riff changeseach page.
But this sentiment is the same that just as we're growing,
we're growing with our children.And it goes on beyond birth.
(35:22):
It's a real sweet book. I hope you guys.
Love it so. Much that's my baby book because
it was also my first book that Ibore out of writing and then my
second book is 1. I heard a lot of people say fun
colors, bright things, animals rhyme, silly.
And I had this little boy or I have this little boy, I had a
little boy, I have one of my sons who is just brimming with
(35:45):
joy. And I remember being in the
shower one day and I felt like this line came to me that said
all the joy that you carry is what makes you marry and always
lives deep in your heart. And out of that is born this
book. You will open the page.
There is over 100 animals in this book that your kids can spy
bright colors. And it's all about a whale who
has a song. He lets his song out.
(36:05):
It spews all through the earth to other animals.
It affects them. They share their songs.
And at the end, we just realizedthat you 2 have a song that's
with you all along and you carryit with you all around.
It's unique to you and all that you do.
So let others join in. Its sound so really fun.
All about joy. And I hope you guys, that one's
called the song that goes on andon and on and on.
(36:26):
And on and on and on. Yes, like the song that doesn't
end. I love it so much.
And really quickly. I know you've got a new book
coming out in September, right? Yes.
Which isn't too far from now. My gosh, do you want to tell us
about that really quickly? You're the first one to find out
and I will tell you you literally.
Are on the sky house rock podcast you.
Literally did because I, I don'tthink I'm even announcing the
(36:47):
name for another month and a half, but here you go.
I am so excited that I wrote andit's going to be released my
very first devotional and it is called Any given moment 52
devotions to encourage you and help you feel the goodness of
God. And my hope in that is that you
will just open these pages. You will have a 5 to 7 minute
(37:09):
encouragement. They're kind of like popcorn
encouragements. One thing I love about it that
I'll share with you specifically, and one thing I
had wanted was there's a topicalindex in the back because I
really want someone to be able to go to the back and say like
I'm struggling with worry, wherecan I look?
And it will give you page, page,page where all you can see and
be encouraged about worry. So I'm thrilled for that.
(37:30):
I cannot wait for you guys to see it.
It's actually full color. However, it's beautiful and you
are going to love it so. So fun.
I cannot wait for that to come out.
I love devotionals. I did not used to actually, but
now I, I use them along of course, with the word of God,
you know, read my Bible first. But I'm finding that I really am
(37:50):
encouraged by devotional. Sometimes I just need a
different perspective. I need somebody else to help me
just walk through the encouragement that I need for
that day. And so many times I cannot
believe how many times I'll openup a devotional or a prayer
booklet or something like that. And I'm like, this is exactly
what I needed today. Like it's just amazing how the
(38:10):
Lord uses it. So, so thank you for sharing
that with us. We are very excited.
We will put links to your website and to your Instagram
and everything Sarah Molitor, soyou guys can find her.
Thank you so much Sarah for being with us this week and
last. It has been such a pleasure
chatting with you and thank you guys so much for listening.
We love you guys so much. If there's any way we can be
praying for you, send us an e-mail and let us know how we
(38:32):
can pray for you. Again, you can find everything
at our website, schoolhouserock.com.
Stay tuned at the very end to hear what's coming up next week
on the podcast, and we will see you back here then.
Bye. You're listening to the Biblical
family network. Hey, I'm Miki and I'm Will and
we're the Co host of the cultureProof podcast.
(38:54):
We want to invite you to join usevery week as we discuss what's
happening in the world and then filter those happenings through
a decidedly biblical lens. There are many questions,
especially when we see what's happening in our culture today,
but the answers are found withinthe word of God.
So that's where we want to look.Amen.
When we resist those cultural trends that rival the truth, we
(39:14):
remain culture proof. God had just created everything
from nothing. Hebrews tells us everything from
nothing. And I believe that after that
creative work, that incredible endeavor, he simply wanted to
stop and enjoy it. And what a beautiful example for
us because as homeschool parents, we are so prone to just
(39:35):
go, go, go, cross it off the list, get the lessons done, get
through the curriculum. But God gives us this example.
Stop and delight, take joy in this beautiful work that you get
to do in your home.
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