July 22, 2025 • 53 mins
I Hate Homeschooling! When will the yellow bus be here? Where do I sign them up for “real school?” Have you ever had any of these thoughts? If so, you’re not alone. Many parents have been faithful to home educate their children but they struggle to find joy in the journey.
Join Yvette Hampton and Aby Rinella for this “best of” episode from 2021, as they discuss the many reasons why some hate homeschooling, then be encouraged as they share some ways to combat those feelings of discouragement, anxiety, and inability.
Recommended Resources:
The Ministry of Motherhood - Aby Rinella
The Who, Why, and How of Homeschooling, with Aby Rinella, Karen DeBeus
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey everyone, this is Yvette Hampton.
Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocks podcast.
I am so glad you were back with us this week.
This week and next week we are going to run a 2 part series
from all the way back in 2021 that Abby and I did.
And the first episode that we'regoing to run today is called I
Hate Homeschooling. And maybe you have been one of
(00:21):
those parents who feels like youhate homeschooling.
If so, let me just tell you, youare not alone.
Many, many parents are so faithful to to the call to home
educate their children, but theyreally struggle to find joy and
happiness in the journey. And it can just be really hard
day-to-day. So as we're moving through the
summer and into a new school year, we want to bring you some
(00:42):
encouragement for those of you who maybe feel like you hate
homeschooling. So join Abby and I this week and
next as we discuss many of the reasons why some people hate
homeschooling. And the next week, we're going
to be back with you to talk about the love of homeschooling.
So we never leave you stranded and discouraged.
We always want to bring that encouragement.
I'm on the other side of it. So today we're going to talk
(01:02):
about those things. But first I want to say thank
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(01:26):
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(01:50):
I am here with one of my favorite people in the entire
universe, Avanella. Welcome, Abby.
Hey I'm I'm so excited to be here.
That's. A really great intro.
Was it was that? Yeah, that's a lot of pressure,
being one of your favorite people in the entire universe.
Well, you are. I mean, you're literally like in
the top ten. Whoa, that's amazing.
(02:10):
Billions of people in the universe there are.
Billions of people in the universe.
So to be in my top ten, I mean, that's, that's pretty
significant. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna badge.
I wanna badge. OK, I'll get you a badge.
I'm going to make you a badge. Hi, it's so good to be back.
Yes, yes, I am so glad to have you back with me.
I love podcasting with you and it's been so much fun because do
(02:33):
you know that in the last like 2weeks we have gotten just you
know, we get emails and and messages and different things
from different people. And literally in the last two
weeks we've gotten like 3 or 4 specifically saying how much
they enjoy you and I. Oh my goodness.
(02:54):
God is fun. God is good.
Yeah. For those who maybe don't even
know our story, you and I have only ever met in person one
time. But you probably know me better
than most people who are walkingon this earth.
Isn't that cool? Because God, just God does it.
He just blends and molds people.And because we're really
unscripted like you and I do not.
News flash to everybody that needs to know, here's an insider
(03:16):
scoop. We don't talk ahead of these
things a whole lot. We just totally pray and say,
OK, let's let the Lord lead. And he's brought us a really
close friendship, so it works. Yeah, yeah, it's.
A lot of people like to listen to us.
I bet we would. Above all, we hope that we point
you back to the Lord 'cause really, that's all we've got to
offer here. That's right.
(03:36):
That is what we have to offer. I I wish sometimes that we could
just get on here and just say read your Bible, teach it to
your kids. The end.
But that would be a really shortpodcast.
And no one would wanna probably listen to it everyday.
But do you know what I wish we could do?
You know during this whole Rona thing, how you see on social
media all the squares, like there's like 100 squares and
they all sing together. Yes.
(03:57):
Well, I don't wanna do that, butI wanna get like all those
squares and all the people that are like, we love listening to
you guys. Like I wanna meet these people
because I'd, I'd like to hang out with them too.
So it would be so fun to have like 100 square things.
We don't have to sing, but we could all just see you guys and
meet you guys. That's fun.
We could do, you can do something like that, I don't
know or. If that's complicated, just find
(04:18):
us on social media and be like, hi, 'cause I would like, I would
like you guys have to sit and listen to us.
I'd like to listen to you. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm going to talk to our tech team, which consists of my
husband. I'm.
Going to. Say and see if there's a way to
do that. Ask.
Him. Yeah, that would be fun.
We could sing. We could sing if we wanted.
But I'm besides you, I would have to.
(04:39):
Leave. We've had this conversation
before. I can't cook and I Can't Sing.
No, we could. We could facilitate, We could be
in the corner square. Right.
Yeah, I just will like kind of whisper sing.
If I sing, no one would ever listen again.
That would be bad. And I don't want that.
I want people to listen to us because, you know, we don't sit
here and do this for just because we're sitting around
(05:00):
with nothing to do. That is true.
We do because we love to encourage you, our listeners.
And so in light of encouraging, we have named this one a very
encouraging title called I Hate Homeschooling.
Say it again. I hate homeschooling.
Oh. That makes me cringe.
Exclamation mark. Why did you book this topic?
(05:22):
Well, OK, so here's the story. And it's funny because I was
actually trying to think of likeother titles.
And I thought, I mean, there areother things we could have
called it, like we could call itwhere's the yellow bus?
How do I sign them up for school?
Like, I mean, there are so many different things.
How much longer do I have to endure this?
You know, there are things like that.
But the way this came about, wasit just a really simple text?
(05:46):
Actually, I was just texting with my friend Nikki, and she
happened to mention that one of her friends hated homeschooling.
And I just thought, you know what?
A lot of people hate homeschooling and to be honest
with you, I don't hate homeschooling.
So I'm not going to come at it from that angle.
I'm not going to say I hate homeschooling.
So I'm right there with you sister, because I actually
(06:06):
don't. I really love homeschooling, but
that doesn't mean that every dayis easy.
And we're going to talk about that.
But there are people who genuinely hate homeschooling.
And so I, I want to kind of start this off by saying it's
OK, like you, you, you have mineand Abby's permission to hate
homeschooling. Don't hang up yet.
(06:29):
What? Don't hang up yet.
No, no, no, don't hang up yet because we want to encourage
you. And that is the purpose of this
podcast is to encourage you on your homeschool journey.
And hopefully you get to the point where you don't hate
homeschooling. The other side of it is that
often times there are kids who hate homeschooling.
Maybe it's the mom who's saying I hate homeschooling, but often
times mom is all into it and she's excited and she's got her
(06:52):
plan and the kids are like, I hate this.
I hate everything about it. And that can become a real drag
for an entire family. So I'm excited to just kind of
jump on this and bring some encouragement.
And so I want to kind of talk through some of the reasons why
people hate homeschooling, and then we'll bring some hope.
(07:14):
Right. I love that.
And I think we need to like kindof differentiate between I
think, I think sometimes what we're really saying is I'm
struggling with AB and C and that turns into I hate
homeschooling. So I think we also want to help
you say maybe you don't hate allof homeschooling, Maybe, maybe,
maybe you do, maybe you don't. And maybe there is just some
(07:34):
areas that you're really struggling with.
And if we can help and encourageyou in those areas, you might
find that you don't hate homeschooling.
And then I'd like to at the end say, OK, what if, what if we say
all this and you're like, I still hate homeschooling?
Then what? And, and we'll talk about that.
But I want to echo Yvette. I don't hate it.
And in fact, I feel very grateful that you know, God's
calling because God does call usas moms to homeschool our kids.
(07:56):
And I am grateful that that has happened to be something I love
and it is a passion of mine. But I do understand and don't
judge moms who don't like it because I hate running.
I mean, I'll be honest, I hate running and I don't.
I would hate it if I run or looked at me and they were like
you should love it. No, don't tell me I should love
it, I don't. So it's OK.
Like Eva said, we give you permission to say you hate it,
(08:16):
but what we want is for you to hold on and have an open heart
and just hear us out. Yes, yeah.
Actually, you're got out. Don't hear me out.
Right, don't hear us out. We we have nothing good to say
apart from him, you know. OK, so.
Reasons. You said reasons.
Yeah, let's talk. What are some reasons that moms
hate homeschooling? Well, these are in no particular
order, but as I've thought aboutthis, and I'm sure you have some
(08:39):
too, Abby, the one of the first.Well, I have two kind of top
reasons that I think, I think one of the first ones is because
parent homeschooling is mostly about parenting and parenting is
really stinking hard sometimes because our kids, you know, we,
we want our kids to wake up in the morning with a smile on
(09:01):
their face and we want them to be like, mom, I'm so happy that
you woke me up this morning. Can I please go do some math?
Can I, you know, just can I serve you in some way?
How in the world can I be a blessing to you in our, in our
family? And can I do those dishes for
you? Because I see that they're piled
up in the sink and I know you were up late last night lesson
(09:23):
planning or maybe spending time with dad or doing whatever.
And I just want to I want to be a blessing to you, mom.
And so I'm going to obey today. I'm going to do everything you
asked me to do with a smile on my face.
I'm going to do all of my schoolwork.
I'm going to finish my list. I'm going to do my chores.
Like that is so unrealistic. That doesn't happen.
And so in our in our fantasy world, we want that to be the
(09:46):
case. We want our kids to always be
obedient. We want to give them an
assignment or give them a task or just instruct them in
something and we want them to doit happily.
But rarely, at least in my home,rarely, does that happen where
my kids are just like, sure mom,I'd love to bless you in that
way. Right.
And so maybe if a mom is thinking that is what it looks
(10:08):
like in all of our houses, then they wake up and they get the
grumbling and the complaining and the throwing the pillow
because at the door, 'cause theydon't want it open and the do I
have to? And this is stupid.
And maybe you're thinking, well,I hate this because everybody
else's children hop out of bed with shirt pencils ready to go.
And so maybe that's, that's the first myth that we have to
(10:29):
debunk is this isn't easy for any of us.
And I mean, at least you're hearing 2 homeschool moms here
that have been doing a while. I don't have one kid that hops
out. Well, one of them does a little
more than the others, but they're humans, right?
And let's be honest, do I hop out of bed going, I can't wait
to clean and cook and change diapers.
And I mean, we're humans. Right, right.
(10:51):
And it's our sinful nature. We don't want to do things that
are hard and uncomfortable. And homeschooling is both of
those things. It's hard for the mom and it's
hard for the kid because anything that we're learning is
having to stretch our brain and then doing, you know, just
whether it's chores or, you know, doing, doing school work,
(11:11):
It's, it's all stuff that we have to think about and put
effort forth, which is why it's so much easier to just sit in
front of ATV and watch a show mindlessly and not have to think
about it. That's easy.
That's the easy thing to do. Home schooling takes a lot of
effort. It takes planning, it takes
effort, it takes sacrifice in a lot of ways.
(11:31):
And so it's just hard. And I think kind of linked with
that, I think the other thing my, my #2, or maybe my number
one now I think this would be mynumber 2, is that we, we are
surrounded by a world of social media fakes where we see that
(11:54):
everyone else has it all together.
At least we think everyone else has it all together.
And they have the perfect lessonplans and they have the perfect
house and they're. Seriously, if I see one more
picture of the perfect homeschool room, right, I might
vomit because guess what? I was at my dining room table
wiping up toast crumbs so that they wouldn't get caught under
the child's paper when they werewriting on it, right?
(12:15):
It's not real. It's, it's not real.
It isn't. And so it makes it really
difficult because we have a tendency to compare ourselves
with other people. And so we've got the one side of
it that's just hard. It's just hard.
Like it's physically hard to homeschool.
It's hard to deal with parenting.
It's hard to deal with the sacrifice that it makes.
And then it makes it harder whenwe look at everyone else around
(12:39):
us and whether it's people on social media or people in your
Co-op or your next door neighbor, we think everyone else
has it together and we're the ones who don't.
And so I think. Would make us hate it.
Which would make us hate it, right?
Exactly. So on that note, we're going to
take a quick break. We'll be back.
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thisincrediblefreehomeschoolresource@apologia.com/bootcampWe are back and we are talking
about hating homeschooling. But why do people hate
homeschooling? So I gave you my first two
reasons. My My first one would be because
(13:41):
it's hard. My second one is because we
compare are struggles with everyone else who seems to have
it all together. And I think those are two
reasons. What what do you think Abby?
What are? What's your take?
Well, some of the things I hear from moms about why they would
say that they hate, I hate that word.
I'm sorry. I just I struggle saying those
two words together in a sentence.
(14:01):
But I get it. Some of you feel that way.
So some people feel isolated. They feel like that this is a
mundane task to be home all day long.
And I honestly, we could touch on that, but we, Yvette and I
did a, a episode called The Ministry of Motherhood.
And I think that talks about a lot about how we might think
(14:22):
that this is mundane, but it's not.
But I do think some moms feel like they're isolated.
They never can leave their house.
Or maybe here's some I've heard they can't get along with their
child or the socialization issue.
And I I think when a mom says I hate homeschooling, I often ask,
do you hate when your kids are in public school or were in
(14:43):
public school? Did you hate summertimes?
Because often I hear them say, yeah, I hated it when my kids, I
couldn't wait for them to go back to school is usually what
they say. I couldn't wait for them to go
back to school. And I think what you you hit on
Yvette, that was really good wasit's probably not homeschool.
It's probably parenting because parenting is hard because in the
summer, let's be honest, we havethe same issues, right?
(15:04):
We have the same issues that thegrumbling, the complaining, the
struggles. And so really, you know, those
are some of the things. And then the other big one that
I hear is I don't like being home.
I'm losing me time. I get this me time.
I'm losing so much of me and me time or I would be more
(15:25):
fulfilled in a career. And honestly, this might feel
like the cold hard truth a little bit, but I don't know a
time when God has called us to do only the things that we like.
You know, I mean, we might not like homeschooling today, but
but when are we only called to do the things we like?
(15:46):
You know, think about Jesus. Did he probably like being
stoned? I doubt it.
Did he like being spit on? Probably not, but here's what he
did. He saw the bigger picture and I
think that is what I want to encourage moms is there are the
daily mundane things. It is hard and, and we can talk
more about the practical things to do because I know that we
(16:08):
need to give practical tips whenit feels like that we have to
zoom out and look at the bigger picture.
You know, he did what he did with the end in mind.
And that's what we how we need to face homeschool is it's not
about me liking it or loving it.It really isn't.
And when I realized that and I realized that it's out of
(16:28):
obedience to what God called me to.
It is miraculous how all of a sudden your heart aligns with
God's heart and you start to like it because it's God's best
plan. And, and I think it's just God's
way of blessing us too, when we line up our our hearts with his
and we say, yes, we talked aboutthat with Mary.
He starts to give us a love for it because it's a love for what
(16:49):
he loves, which is teaching and training up children in his
word. Yeah, that's right.
I think also it, it can often times depend on mom's
temperament and personality because I have, you know, I
know, of course, many homeschoolmoms and it seems that the ones
who struggle the most with it are those who are very type A.
(17:13):
They have A and, and, and we need type A's.
I'm not bashing type A's. I have a husband who's a type A
and praise God for that because we we would we would just be a
mess without him. I'm type A.
Yeah, you are. You are.
And and you know what? That's probably why you and I
make a good team. I, and I've said this lots of
times, I am just definitely moreof a laid back, fly by the scene
of my pants kind of girl. I have order in my home and and
(17:36):
I know what needs to get done and I do it and I do it well,
but I also it it takes a lot to stress me out a lot It.
I don't cry, as you know, almostnever.
I just like, I'm very laid back,but not lazy, but but easy going
in that way. And so for me, I don't have the
(17:57):
constant anxiety of feeling like, OK, we're, we're not where
we're supposed to be in this curriculum.
We've got to get to this by the end of the year.
And my kids aren't, or they're supposed to be according to
state standards. And my, my friend is here, you
know, doing this thing with her kids and, and her kids are
taking music lessons and art lessons and blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. And my kids aren't doing those
things. And I'm like, I just, I, I, I
(18:20):
don't, I don't focus on those things.
And so it doesn't stress me out.On the other hand, there can be
people like myself who tend to lay back too much.
And sometimes, quite honestly, Ido lay back too much.
And then I have to get back and say, OK, we need to get a little
bit more serious about this thing, whatever that thing is.
(18:40):
But I think depending on mom's temperament, if you are a mom
who is a very focused, very driven, very Type A and you have
everything that needs to be in order and, and things don't fall
into place with you, because I promise you they won't unless
you have one child and that child has the exact same
(19:01):
temperament as you, right? And they're as driven as you
are. Right.
It's, you're always going to have conflict with your, your
kids and with your inner self because you're always going to
feel frustrated that it's not enough, you're not doing it well
enough. You're not meeting your own
standards and reaching your own goals that you have set forth or
(19:26):
that you feel like even the Lordhas set forth for you and your
family. And so that can become a a real
frustration for moms and and cause many moms to hate
homeschooling. Oh my goodness, because that
that is that is my personality. And so I think that those type A
moms, I would say I would, it'd be a good thing to look up or to
(19:46):
study. I would say you're right, People
more of the type A end up hatingit more.
And I think here's why We're control freaks and we want
everything exactly the way we want it.
And we have a plan. And if things don't fit into our
box and our plan, we get frustrated, we get irritated, we
feel like we're failing. And that would make us hate it.
(20:08):
And I think that that I see so many moms jump shit because it
it's too much and they hate it. And I say it doesn't have to be
too much, though it is. Honestly, for me, it took years
of releasing control and being able to realize that I was in
bondage to my own control. There's no freedom when you when
(20:30):
you approach homeschool that way.
And the greatest blessing of homeschool is the freedom that
we have. But we kind of we kind of put
ourselves in our own little prison when we have to check off
every list and fit every kid into the box and run, I'll be
honest, run our homeschools likea public school.
And that robs the joy of what we're doing.
(20:51):
It makes us as as moms feel likewe're losing our self who God
made me into this homeschool thing.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
It doesn't have to be that way at all.
We can like like you said, we can loosen up.
We can we can realize that this isn't a job to be done as we see
a job to be done. It's a calling to answer.
And when we see it, just that slight difference, all the
(21:15):
sudden we have freedom and we can find joy in it.
And I also think when you're a type A control freak, your kids
are going to buck you. They just are, they are going to
buck that because they, they getyour motive.
You know, you're trying to fit them into what, what your agenda
is, rather than build a home around learning and, and follow
the Lord's lead in it. So there has to be a shift in
(21:38):
that. And as a type A person, it takes
a while, but you can't jump shipbecause it will come because
surrendering to the Lord and answering the call, He will give
you what you need to to settle down.
Yeah, Yep, Yep. Those often times, you know,
moms will go to bed at night andlay awake for hours thinking
about how they think they're failing their their kids
(21:58):
academically, how they think they're failing in their
parenting, how they think they're failing compared to
other people. Maybe just feeling like, why?
I just don't have it all together and I can't get it all
together because we, you know, we've talked about this so many
times. Homeschooling is hard because
it's not just getting in your car, driving to a classroom,
teaching all day and then going home and separating the two.
(22:20):
Homeschooling is a way of life. And so as part of it, you are
chauffeur, you're the family chef, you're the grocery
shopper, you're, you know, you're, you're all the things,
you're the teacher, you're the lover, you're the, you're all of
it. And it's really, really hard to
balance everything. And so we never, never feel like
(22:42):
we can do it all. And so we always feel like we're
somehow failing, but you're never going to do it all.
I, we, we have spent as a family, we have spent the last
four years of our lives filming a documentary on homeschooling.
Literally, we've, we've traveledto 20 something different States
(23:03):
and we've, we have filmed peopleon many of those states.
And we are on episode, I don't know, 215 now or something like
that of the podcast. I have talked to a lot of
homeschool moms a lot. And every mom feels the same
way. You're not going to get it all
done right. You're never you're, you're not
someone special and your neighbors not someone special
(23:26):
who who thinks that they can just do it all and do it
perfectly. And so we have to let go of
that. We have to let go of that
mindset that we're not doing enough, we're not doing it it
well enough and we're somehow failing our family.
Because I think that's the number one reason why people
hate homeschooling. We just, we feel like it, it's
hard. We we feel like we're just
(23:47):
messing it up. Right.
No, I, I completely agree. And, and it is hard, but we can
do hard things. And most often the, the best,
most productive things are the hardest things.
We're reading Pilgrim's Progressright now and there's a line in
it that keeps saying do the hardbut right thing and over and
(24:07):
over. And I really love that because
it's teaching that easy isn't always better.
So mom, if you're feeling like Ihate homeschool step one, feel
it, know it, acknowledge it and then say, OK, why do I hate it?
And we has basically spent this episode talking about the
reasons that moms might hate. And we're going to come back and
talk about, you know, OK, So what, what now?
(24:30):
OK, so I've identified the reasons that I'm hating it, but
then give me practical tips. But I would say that the first
thing is, is just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not worth
it. Just because it's hard doesn't
mean we don't do it. You know, just because it's hard
doesn't mean we have to hate it.Marriage can be hard, but you
know what? It's one of the greatest
(24:51):
blessings you'll ever had. Labor is one of the hardest
things ever. But look what you get in the
end. And I think we just need to keep
having that forward thinking of it's hard right now, but that's
because I'm raising up children in the Lord to be warriors for
him in this world, for goodness sake, that's a big job.
(25:12):
Yeah, I love that analogy of being in labor because as women,
you know, most women listening to this and even even those who
maybe have have their children through adoption, we have many,
many friends who have adopted. We we were in that place where
we thought we were going to needto adopt.
Took us, you know, many, many years to have our first
daughter. And even that you go through
(25:33):
months and sometimes years of just excruciating waiting and
labor's hard. It's painful.
Oh man, it hurts. It hurts so bad.
Why don't you quit? You can't.
You can't quit because you know what's coming.
You get a prize in the end, a cute little prize that's wrapped
up in a little swaddling blanket.
(25:54):
And it's still gonna make life hard, but you know that there is
so much more good. Yep, Yep, it's.
Why we gotta stop being afraid to do hard things?
I think that that is that is my heart's cry for moms.
We have to stop being afraid to do hard things and stop doing
the easy things 'cause they're they don't produce the fruit
that God wants in US. Yeah, that's right.
(26:14):
And God will give us the rest and the strength and the ability
and the wisdom to do what he's called us to do.
And I love that you say that just just boldly because it is
hard. We, we don't want to do the hard
thing, especially in our societynow, you know, you look back to
generations of, of people and they, they, they worked hard to,
(26:36):
you know, just to put food on the table.
Well, goodness gracious, I mean,we live in a in a age now where
we don't even have to leave our house to put food on the table.
We can literally call, you know,somebody and have them come put
food on our table for us. You know, they can actually cook
the food or they can go grocery shopping for us and put the food
(26:56):
on the table or, or hand it to us at our front door.
We have it so easy. And so we take that as well.
We want life to be easy. We want to be handed a silver
platter and we don't want to have to do the hard thing.
Right. And we become very self
indulgent. We become very like, I want the
me time. I want to send my kids off
somewhere else so that I can invest in myself.
(27:17):
I don't want to be stuck at homeall day when I feel like there's
a world out there that will pat me on the back and tell me how
wonderful I am. And I think this life of ease
that we've had honestly has kindof led to this self indulgent
that when we are faced with something difficult, we say, I
hate it, I don't want to do it. I quit, but like I said before,
that is not the heart of God andthat is not that's not what God
(27:41):
wants from us. Yes, I agree completely.
God has not called us to an easylife.
But aside from that, I know thatthat's not the only reason
because I know there are many people who are not, you know, I
don't want to say lazy, but you know, for lack of a better word,
they're not lazy. They're willing to do the hard
thing. And even still.
They don't love it. They don't love it.
(28:01):
It's hard and, and it can be hard sometimes.
And I think that there are many reasons why it can be hard.
Sometimes it's because you don'thave family around you.
Sometimes you don't have community around you.
Sometimes you don't have a a husband who's supportive.
Maybe he allows you to homeschool and praise God for
that if he does, but he's just not supportive and doesn't want
(28:22):
to have any part of it. And so you feel like the burden
is completely on you, and that'shard.
Right. Sometimes you have a struggling
reader that no matter how much you invest, you feel like it's
you're just not getting through or you have several kids with
special needs. And it is hard and, and, and
we're not here to tell you it's not hard, but we know that God
(28:44):
will give us everything we need to do it and, and people to come
alongside us to help us in it. But there are so many reasons
that it's hard. Yep, we are going to continue
this conversation. We're going to give you some
some help and encouragement on how you can turn the tide and go
from your hate of home schoolinginto a love or at least and
(29:08):
acceptance or like of homeschooling, maybe the love
doesn't come until a couple years down the road, but at
least helping to point you in that direction of enjoying your
homeschool journey with your family.
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grading tools. To learn more, visit
bjupresshomeschool.com. We as moms, I think we have
this, this issue where we tell ourselves that we can't do it.
We're never enough. We're not going to be able to do
it. And at the end of the day, we
have a list in our head of all the things either we failed at
(30:15):
or our kids didn't step up to the plate on or areas that we
need growth. And I just keep going back to
Philippians 4 where it says we need to focus on the good and
the lovely and the praiseworthy and, and all these things.
And I, I feel like as a homeschool mom that screams, I
hate homeschool schooling, The first thing you need to do is
write Philippians 4 and put it on your fridge.
(30:36):
And every day when you start to say, these are the reasons I
hate it, stop and say, but you know what?
Look at the time I'm getting with my kids.
Or if nothing else, 'cause you're like, I don't want that
time with my kids. Say, look how God's refining me.
Look how my patience is being stretched.
Look how I can't do this. And so I'm forced onto my knees
to depend on the God who promises that he will give me
(30:59):
what I need to do it. And so I it's just a simple, not
simple, a very difficult, subtleis what I mean shift in thinking
between I hate homeschooling to I want to have the heart of God
for homeschooling. And when we can shift that, you
know it, it says in First Samuel12, But be sure to fear the Lord
(31:20):
and serve Him faithfully with all your heart.
Consider what great things He has done for you.
When I start to get frustrated, like I don't want to serve these
kids honestly, how many meals dothey need a day?
I don't, they're not getting it.They don't even appreciate it.
Why am I putting in all this time and energy and all they
really want to do is go outside and play.
And I have to say, you know what?
I'm not doing it to like it. I'm not doing it to get my
(31:40):
fulfillment. I'm not doing it for any other
reason that I am serving God. And when you can, when you can
look at it that way, all of a sudden it's like, oh, well, this
is a big thing that I'm doing. And, and when we align our
hearts with God, he will align his with us.
And, and it will just, it just happens.
(32:01):
You start to have his heart for the job He's called you to do.
And the joy starts to come because joy is the fruit of the
Spirit. Joy is not a fruit of
homeschool. Let me repeat.
It's the fruit of the spirit. So if you're looking for all
your joy to come from homeschool, it's not going to,
but it is going to come from theLord that has called you to
homeschool. Yeah, I love that Abby.
(32:23):
I love that you talk about just being intentional about trying
to find joy in it, because it's easy to grumble.
It's easy to just be like, I hate this in here.
All the reasons why I get that Ido that often times with
different areas in my life. You know, I, I, there are things
that I'm just like, I just, I, I'm just done.
(32:43):
I don't want to do this thing anymore.
It's hard and it's discouraging and it's frustrating and, and I
don't want to do it anymore. I feel that way often times
about discipline. You know, I, I, I hate
disciplining my kids. Like, I mean, I don't know any
parent who enjoys it, but, but Ilegitimately hate it.
(33:04):
It, it just, it's hard to do. I don't want the the fight with
them, but I know that because I love them and I care about their
their eternal souls that we haveto correct and discipline and
train and guide them in the way of the Lord and and so it's hard
(33:24):
sometimes, but I love that you brought up Philippians 4.
You know, the whole chapter is fantastic, but specifically
Philippians 4 verses 6 and sevensay do not be anxious about
anything and say that again, do not be anxious about anything.
But in everything with Thanksgiving, present your
(33:45):
request to the Lord and the peace of God, which chance ends
all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ
Jesus. And that's the thing we we need
to give him thanks. You know, find the good things
to find that find the good in it.
You know, when you're when you're getting frustrated, just
stop and say, you know what, Lord, thank you that I have the
freedom to homeschool my kids. Thank you that my kids are are
(34:08):
in my home with me and that they're they're, they have the
ability to learn. Thank you that I have the
ability to teach them. Thank you that you've given us
your word so that we can teach them truth.
Find the, the things that you'rethankful for and, and meditate
on those things. And you have to often times
(34:29):
again, be intentional about that.
You have to bring your mind backto the blessings of
homeschooling and stop focusing on the the hate that you have
for homeschooling or or you knowthe frustration that you might
have with it. And you have to remember too,
God says, he tells us that children are a blessing, they're
not a burden. And so if he says they're a
(34:51):
blessing and we're saying, I hate this, then somewhere
there's a disconnect with what we're believing that God is
saying, you know, because he's right, you're wrong, sorry.
They are a blessing. And so if you're hating it, the
first thing I would say is take your heart to the Lord and just
be real and honest and pray and say, God, I'm hating this.
(35:11):
But I know that's not what your intent is because I know that
these children are a blessing. And I know that this is your
design. And you don't design us to hate
what you called us to do. And, and get to God on it and
deal with it and don't try to just, you know, grab on and fix
it as type A Oh, I hate it. So I'm going to force myself to
love it. And we're going to love this.
(35:32):
Everybody get up and smile. But we, we just need to be
honest and real with the Lord. And I think another thing that
we tend to do, and you hit on this in the last episode is we
look around a lot. We look at what all the other
moms are doing. Will their, their kids get
dropped at school and look what they get to do.
And look at they, they make moremoney 'cause they're doing a
side job or they get to go to the, I don't know, have lunch
(35:54):
all day with their friends or, oh, look at that other
homeschool mom. Her kid doesn't struggle with
reading. Her children don't fight all
day. And I, I go back to Proverbs
1430 and it says a heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones. And there is nothing that is
going to drive you to hating homeschool faster than looking
(36:16):
around at other women and envying them.
It, it will put you, it will rotyour bones and, and once once
those are rotted, you are going to hate everything about
homeschool. So just really go to the Lord
and say God, why am I hating this?
Is this something I in my heart?Is this something I need to
change in my home? I mean, maybe we just need a new
reading curriculum. I mean, it could be I hate that
(36:38):
curriculum. Or is this a deeper heart issue?
Because God is faithful. He's faithful to us when we
truly seek him in his way. And He doesn't want us to hate
it. He doesn't.
That's not His will. And when we pray His will, He is
faithful to answer that prayer. That's right.
That is right. We're going to take a quick
break, but when we come back, I want to give you some very, very
(37:00):
specific things that you can do to encourage you.
I mean, not that we've not been doing that, but I want to give
you just kind of some specific steps that you can take in order
to enjoy homeschooling. So we'll be right back.
I want to tell you about 3 amazing free resources we have
available right now at schoolhouserocks.com.
First, we have the Affordable Homeschooling Guide.
(37:21):
In it, Abby and I share all of our tips for many years of
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(37:43):
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(38:05):
everything you need to know about school choice in an easy
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That's Schoolhouse. rocked.com/store.
We are back. And like I said before the
(38:25):
break, I want to give some very specific ways that we can
encourage you to kind of get past this, this idea or this
feeling that you may be having of hating homeschooling and just
feeling frustrated with it. Or maybe, you know, maybe you
don't and you have a friend who does not want to homeschool or
is homeschooling but really struggling with it.
(38:47):
Or maybe you're just tired. You're half getting halfway
through the year and you know, the month of February is hard
because we have the, the beginning of the year is, is
kind of busy and we're trying toget into our groove.
We get into our groove and then we break for the holidays and we
have Thanksgiving and the Christmas and the New Year's and
we, we, there's just so much going on during that season.
(39:10):
And then we come back into it inJanuary.
You're trying to get back into it again.
And then February, I don't know what happens in February, but
but a lot of families kind of get into this like home school
slump where they're just. Like it's the worst month of the
year, especially where we live because it's just weather wise,
it's the worst. It feels like you're never going
to see the sun and you're never going to see a plant or a living
(39:33):
piece of anything and you're never going to get out of here.
Here's the thing, don't quit anything in February and and
just don't because I am telling you March is on its way and
everything looks better in March.
So you're not alone in that, that's for sure.
Yeah. And it seems like it's so long
(39:53):
and so far off till the end of the school year till you can
have a break again. And I think sometimes, like we
just long for that break. We long because again, it's
hard. It takes a lot of effort, a lot
of work, a lot of sacrifice. So we long for that summer
break. Yeah.
And so. Here's a practical tip.
Take a week off in February. Yeah, I'm getting there.
(40:15):
Yeah, yeah, I'm getting here. Are we not allowed to do that?
Well, no, you can do that, but Ihave my list.
Oh, this is your list. You're.
Jumping ahead, Abby. Oh sorry, I'm just ready to take
a week off. I'm looking for any reason to
take a week off right now. Abby's going to take a week off
in February, apparently. Just kidding.
Well, we told you in the first episode that we don't actually.
(40:37):
We always know what we're going to talk about before we jump on,
but we don't really compare notes with each other, so it's
kind. Of funny because usually equally
yoked. We Yeah, right.
I know. And so you're jumping into one,
one of my notes, but that's that's number three.
So I have one and a 2. Whoa, I got way ahead.
Sorry. No, that's OK, It should.
(40:57):
Be #1 though it. Should be well, well number one,
this is number one. Number one is which we've
already talked about surrender. Surrender all of it to the Lord,
all of it. And when I say surrender, I mean
genuinely surrender. Get on your knees.
Pray Lord you help me. I cannot do this.
I am tired, I am frustrated. I hate this.
(41:18):
I have often times cried out to the Lord for things that that
have been hard in my life and I just said I hate this.
I literally hate this thing thatI'm dealing with.
Exactly. He already knows so be honest
with him. He already knows, but surrender.
Just say, Lord, you got to help me with this and he will.
I mean the book of James talks about seeking wisdom.
(41:41):
If we ask him for wisdom, he will give it.
Cry out to your God. Cry out I I mean our God.
I don't mean your God like whoever your God is, but Jesus,
Jesus, cry out to Jesus, to the God of the universe.
Cry out to God and ask him for help and just surrender it on to
say, Lord, I lay this at your feet, I need your help.
(42:02):
So I think that would be the number one thing, the number.
Right, that is that that should be #1 I know.
So you were trying to do the take a week off not?
Just not spiritually mature. Oh my goodness.
The number two thing is which wehave talked about many, many,
many times and I will actually link back to a couple of
(42:23):
episodes where we've talked about this specifically.
Chocolate in the closet. No, not hot chocolate in the
closet. Do you drink hot chocolate in
the closet? No, like chocolate bars hide
chocolate in the closet. Oh, hide chocolate in the
closet. Oh, that's going to be #5 OK,
hold on, I'm writing that. Down.
It has to be in there because I'm telling you, moms, sometimes
you just need to go in the closet, have a moment and take
(42:45):
your secret chocolate bar. Literally before we got on this
podcast, I went and got a handful of M&M's from my secret
stash. I know it's a thing, but that's
number five. So we're only on number 2.
So #2 is know your why. You have to know your why, Abby.
You're the queen of Know your Why.
I know and I went right to take a week off and eat chocolate.
(43:07):
What is wrong with? Me.
Oh my goodness. So that's.
The reason today? We have done a few episodes on
why to home school and, and you knowing your why.
And so you really need to figureout if you don't yet know, you
need to know why you're doing this because when the going gets
(43:29):
tough, the tough get going. And if it gets tough, which it
will, you're going to say, I'm out of here and I'm not going to
do this anymore. Or you're just going to, you
know, end up being frustrated and angry all the time and
bitter because now your kids aremaking you homeschool or the
government or your husband is making you homeschool and it's
going to cause bitterness. And we don't want that.
So know your why, but figure outwhat your why really is what
(43:52):
what do you read as you read God's word?
And you know, for our family, the the verse that we meditate
on over and over again when it comes to our why is Psalm 1.
And it says, Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of
the wicked public school, nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers, but his delight is in
(44:13):
the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its
fruit in its season, and it's leaf does not wither, and all
that he does he prospers. The wicked are not so better
like chaff that the wind drives away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor
sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
(44:34):
For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of
the wicked will perish. We do not want our children to
perish. We want our our girls to walk in
the counsel of the Almighty God,not in the counsel of the
wicked. And so for us, Psalm 1 is, is
our, is our why. And so know what your why is
(44:55):
that's, that's the second thing.The third thing is that I would
say, and this goes to what Abby was talking about, reset.
Just reset. Stop what you're doing.
Take a week off. If you need to take two weeks
off, take a month off, whatever you need to do.
I, I'm, I'm 100% serious when I say this.
(45:15):
If you need to take the rest of the school year off and do
nothing but just read God's wordand good literature to your
kids, do it. They will be better off by you
doing that then they will be by you living in a state of
constant frustration and bitterness and trying to force
them to learn the math and the the language arts and the
(45:35):
science and the history and all the things that you're teaching
them. Now, those things are important.
You need to teach those. But if you're just at your
breaking point and they're at their breaking point, take a
step back and reset. And I would say that the first
way to do this goes back to #1 refer to #1 surrender to the
Lord. But also talk with your husband
(45:56):
about it and, and just be honestwith him.
Say this is what I'm struggling with.
And talk with your kids. You know, if they're three,
don't talk with them because they're going to just want to
play with trucks. And that's fine.
And that's what they should be doing.
But if your kids are, you know, upper elementary to high school,
especially if they're in middle school and high school, talk
with them because their opinion does matter.
And and if they are feeling frustrated with the way things
(46:21):
are going at home, you don't want them to live in bitterness
against you and against homeschooling.
You don't want them to come out of your home saying I hated
being homeschooled. Right.
And I think part of that reset and part of what can make kids
feel that way is when we do homeschool above life.
And I, I see so many homeschool moms who say I hate
homeschooling. And I look at what they're doing
(46:43):
and they're, when we have fun things like, Hey, do you guys
just want to put books away and go sledding?
Well, we can't because we have homeschool or hey, I can't make
it to women's Bible study because I have homeschool.
We can't do anything because we are so bound.
And I think some part of the reset is, is homeschool is life
and God wants us to live and live abundantly and not be, you
(47:06):
know, slaves to these books and and there is that's going to
make you hate it. And so when you reset and you
come back, put life 1st and I promise seek first the Kingdom
of God and then live. And and academics are going to
happen a lot easier when it's not a fight every day when it's
not your priority. So sometimes homeschool can
(47:28):
become an idol and it overtakes our life and then we learn to
hate it. So live, you know, go for the
walk, for goodness sake. Even if the math isn't done, you
can come back to it. And and that's going to just, I
don't know, it's just going to inject joy into your home
school. I love that it's so true.
It's so true. So OK, number one is surrender
(47:51):
#2 is know your why #3 is reset and, and do that with, with, you
know, prayer, talking to your husband, talking to your kids
and praying together as a family.
Just saying, Lord, what do you want our family to look like?
How, how do you want this to play out and trust him to be
able to do that. And then, but as you're
resetting, my next one for wouldbe surround yourself, which
(48:14):
we've talked about so many times.
Surround yourself with with community, with like minded
community. You need to be encouraged and be
real. We talked about that in the
first episode on Monday. You need to be able to be
transparent and real with your friends or your family members.
Who home's going to say, I'm really struggling.
Can you pray with with me or forme about this?
(48:34):
But find a group of people who will encourage you.
Try to stay away. And you know, if you have family
members who don't get homeschooling, they don't
understand. I'm not telling you to walk away
from them, but maybe don't talk about homeschooling with them,
you know? Yeah, and that's something that
we have to be careful because I think so often we don't be real
because we're afraid we're goingto give homeschool a bad light.
Like, oh, they hate it. It's terrible for their family.
(48:55):
And that's why it's so importantto find even just one sister in
Christ that you can be real with.
And she's not going to go, Oh, well, that's why you shouldn't
homeschool where she's going to point you back to Christ and
she's going to hear you and validate what you're saying, but
she's not going to leave you stuck there, you know?
But don't let that be your neighbor who wants to hate
(49:16):
homeschooling with you, right? Right.
Exactly being. Wise.
Being wise and then, well, I hada #5 but but then you added
number six, so I'm going to move#6 to #5 and #5 then is going to
be get chocolate because chocolate apparently gets us
through the day. I don't think we even need to
talk about that anymore. It's just something you do.
Right, because then number six, which was #5 but has now been
(49:39):
bumped to 6 was listen to this podcast.
And I'm totally serious about that.
Like that's why we do what we doevery week.
We work really hard and intentionally to bring
encouragement to you. And so listen to the podcast, go
back and listen to some some episodes from the past.
If you go to podcast@schoolhouserock.com, you
(50:03):
will find ourpodcast.schoolhouserock.com.
Yeah, the AT is our e-mail address.
You could go there too and e-mail us, but go to or just go
to schoolhouserock.com and clickon the podcast button.
That's probably the easier thingto do.
But you can go back and you can look at all of the podcasts that
we've done and just find some topics.
We really try to title them in away that represents what that
(50:27):
specific episode is about. So look at the different topics
and see which one might be an encouragement and a blessing to
you. But go back, listen to the
podcast even. I mean, I oftentimes will listen
to podcasts a couple of times. The podcast I listen to most is
Heidi Saint John. And so there have been many of
her episodes that I'll just go back and like, man, that was so
(50:48):
good. And I'll mark it and I'll have
to go back and listen to it again because there was so much
information in there. And I might need that
encouragement a month or two down the road.
And so listen to the podcast after you get your chocolate,
but don't let your kids know where the chocolate is because
that that just defeats the wholepurpose of fighting the
chocolate. And one thing we can promise you
(51:09):
every time you listen to this iswe're going to be real and
vulnerable. Neither Yvette nor myself are
going to ever be anything other than real.
So you might hear us say today really stunk, you know, but we
are always going to point you back to God's word because it
doesn't matter how we feel at the end of the day.
It doesn't matter how we feel. You know, our hearts can be
wicked and deceitful above all things.
(51:30):
What matters is that we're rooted in the truth.
And so on those days where you hate homeschooling, remember how
I feel isn't what matters. It's what I do with those
feelings. So take him to the Lord and get
back on that horse. I love it.
That is a perfect way to end Abby.
Thank you so much you guys. Thank you for listening again.
Go to the website, look at the podcast links that are on there.
(51:54):
Also, we have we have a YouTube channel.
I rarely talk about this, but doyou know, for those listening,
if you're not watching, do you know that we actually do every
single podcast on video? So these are all video like you
can go to our website, our, our YouTube channel, Schoolhouse
Rock, and you can find almost all of our, well, we, we didn't
(52:15):
start doing video until I think maybe a year into it or so.
But for the past year and a half, at least, you can watch
the videos of most of our podcast episodes.
And, and then you get to see Abby and I in person and we can
have coffee together. So go get your chocolate, go get
your cup of coffee and then joinAbby and I and you can watch
these videos instead of just listening to them.
(52:37):
So you guys, thank you again forbeing a blessing to us.
Thank you for those who continueto pray for us.
Thank you for those who have been so incredibly generous in
donating to the ministry of Schoolhouse Rock.
I've said this so many times, wewere never meant to do this
alone and we have not done this alone.
God has been so faithful to use people like you to help support
(52:58):
this ministry financially. So thank you to those of you who
have done that. You are a true blessing to us.
We will be back next Monday withanother fantastic episode and
until then, have a great day. Bye.
You're listening to the BiblicalFamily Network.
Hey, I'm Miki. And I'm will.
(53:18):
And we're the Co host of the Culture Proof podcast.
We want to invite you to join usevery week as we discuss what's
happening in the world and then filter those happenings through
a decidedly biblical lens. There are many questions,
especially when we see what's happening in our culture today,
but the answers are found withinthe word of God.
So that's where we want to look.Amen.
(53:38):
When we resist those cultural trends that rival the truth, we
remain culture proof.
Hey everyone, this is Yvette Hampton.
Welcome back to the Schoolhouse Rocks podcast.
I am so glad you were back with us this week.
This week and next week we are going to run a 2 part series
from all the way back in 2021 that Abby and I did.
And the first episode that we'regoing to run today is called I
Hate Homeschooling. And maybe you have been one of
(00:21):
those parents who feels like youhate homeschooling.
If so, let me just tell you, youare not alone.
Many, many parents are so faithful to to the call to home
educate their children, but theyreally struggle to find joy and
happiness in the journey. And it can just be really hard
day-to-day. So as we're moving through the
summer and into a new school year, we want to bring you some
(00:42):
encouragement for those of you who maybe feel like you hate
homeschooling. So join Abby and I this week and
next as we discuss many of the reasons why some people hate
homeschooling. And the next week, we're going
to be back with you to talk about the love of homeschooling.
So we never leave you stranded and discouraged.
We always want to bring that encouragement.
I'm on the other side of it. So today we're going to talk
(01:02):
about those things. But first I want to say thank
you to our sponsor, CTC Math. If you're looking for a math
program that truly works, CTC Math has you covered.
They offer easy to follow video lessons, step by
(01:26):
Here's a testimonial from Penny in New York.
She said since using CTC Math, my daughter has stopped
stressing over math and I find her actually enjoying it.
Thank you so much for all you'vedone to help her find success in
a subject she hated but now enjoys.
Sign up today at ctcmath.com andstart your free trial.
CTC Math Math made easy. Now enjoy this episode.
(01:50):
I am here with one of my favorite people in the entire
universe, Avanella. Welcome, Abby.
Hey I'm I'm so excited to be here.
That's. A really great intro.
Was it was that? Yeah, that's a lot of pressure,
being one of your favorite people in the entire universe.
Well, you are. I mean, you're literally like in
the top ten. Whoa, that's amazing.
(02:10):
Billions of people in the universe there are.
Billions of people in the universe.
So to be in my top ten, I mean, that's, that's pretty
significant. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna badge.
I wanna badge. OK, I'll get you a badge.
I'm going to make you a badge. Hi, it's so good to be back.
Yes, yes, I am so glad to have you back with me.
I love podcasting with you and it's been so much fun because do
(02:33):
you know that in the last like 2weeks we have gotten just you
know, we get emails and and messages and different things
from different people. And literally in the last two
weeks we've gotten like 3 or 4 specifically saying how much
they enjoy you and I. Oh my goodness.
(02:54):
God is fun. God is good.
Yeah. For those who maybe don't even
know our story, you and I have only ever met in person one
time. But you probably know me better
than most people who are walkingon this earth.
Isn't that cool? Because God, just God does it.
He just blends and molds people.And because we're really
unscripted like you and I do not.
News flash to everybody that needs to know, here's an insider
(03:16):
scoop. We don't talk ahead of these
things a whole lot. We just totally pray and say,
OK, let's let the Lord lead. And he's brought us a really
close friendship, so it works. Yeah, yeah, it's.
A lot of people like to listen to us.
I bet we would. Above all, we hope that we point
you back to the Lord 'cause really, that's all we've got to
offer here. That's right.
(03:36):
That is what we have to offer. I I wish sometimes that we could
just get on here and just say read your Bible, teach it to
your kids. The end.
But that would be a really shortpodcast.
And no one would wanna probably listen to it everyday.
But do you know what I wish we could do?
You know during this whole Rona thing, how you see on social
media all the squares, like there's like 100 squares and
they all sing together. Yes.
(03:57):
Well, I don't wanna do that, butI wanna get like all those
squares and all the people that are like, we love listening to
you guys. Like I wanna meet these people
because I'd, I'd like to hang out with them too.
So it would be so fun to have like 100 square things.
We don't have to sing, but we could all just see you guys and
meet you guys. That's fun.
We could do, you can do something like that, I don't
know or. If that's complicated, just find
(04:18):
us on social media and be like, hi, 'cause I would like, I would
like you guys have to sit and listen to us.
I'd like to listen to you. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm going to talk to our tech team, which consists of my
husband. I'm.
Going to. Say and see if there's a way to
do that. Ask.
Him. Yeah, that would be fun.
We could sing. We could sing if we wanted.
But I'm besides you, I would have to.
(04:39):
Leave. We've had this conversation
before. I can't cook and I Can't Sing.
No, we could. We could facilitate, We could be
in the corner square. Right.
Yeah, I just will like kind of whisper sing.
If I sing, no one would ever listen again.
That would be bad. And I don't want that.
I want people to listen to us because, you know, we don't sit
here and do this for just because we're sitting around
(05:00):
with nothing to do. That is true.
We do because we love to encourage you, our listeners.
And so in light of encouraging, we have named this one a very
encouraging title called I Hate Homeschooling.
Say it again. I hate homeschooling.
Oh. That makes me cringe.
Exclamation mark. Why did you book this topic?
(05:22):
Well, OK, so here's the story. And it's funny because I was
actually trying to think of likeother titles.
And I thought, I mean, there areother things we could have
called it, like we could call itwhere's the yellow bus?
How do I sign them up for school?
Like, I mean, there are so many different things.
How much longer do I have to endure this?
You know, there are things like that.
But the way this came about, wasit just a really simple text?
(05:46):
Actually, I was just texting with my friend Nikki, and she
happened to mention that one of her friends hated homeschooling.
And I just thought, you know what?
A lot of people hate homeschooling and to be honest
with you, I don't hate homeschooling.
So I'm not going to come at it from that angle.
I'm not going to say I hate homeschooling.
So I'm right there with you sister, because I actually
(06:06):
don't. I really love homeschooling, but
that doesn't mean that every dayis easy.
And we're going to talk about that.
But there are people who genuinely hate homeschooling.
And so I, I want to kind of start this off by saying it's
OK, like you, you, you have mineand Abby's permission to hate
homeschooling. Don't hang up yet.
(06:29):
What? Don't hang up yet.
No, no, no, don't hang up yet because we want to encourage
you. And that is the purpose of this
podcast is to encourage you on your homeschool journey.
And hopefully you get to the point where you don't hate
homeschooling. The other side of it is that
often times there are kids who hate homeschooling.
Maybe it's the mom who's saying I hate homeschooling, but often
times mom is all into it and she's excited and she's got her
(06:52):
plan and the kids are like, I hate this.
I hate everything about it. And that can become a real drag
for an entire family. So I'm excited to just kind of
jump on this and bring some encouragement.
And so I want to kind of talk through some of the reasons why
people hate homeschooling, and then we'll bring some hope.
(07:14):
Right. I love that.
And I think we need to like kindof differentiate between I
think, I think sometimes what we're really saying is I'm
struggling with AB and C and that turns into I hate
homeschooling. So I think we also want to help
you say maybe you don't hate allof homeschooling, Maybe, maybe,
maybe you do, maybe you don't. And maybe there is just some
(07:34):
areas that you're really struggling with.
And if we can help and encourageyou in those areas, you might
find that you don't hate homeschooling.
And then I'd like to at the end say, OK, what if, what if we say
all this and you're like, I still hate homeschooling?
Then what? And, and we'll talk about that.
But I want to echo Yvette. I don't hate it.
And in fact, I feel very grateful that you know, God's
calling because God does call usas moms to homeschool our kids.
(07:56):
And I am grateful that that has happened to be something I love
and it is a passion of mine. But I do understand and don't
judge moms who don't like it because I hate running.
I mean, I'll be honest, I hate running and I don't.
I would hate it if I run or looked at me and they were like
you should love it. No, don't tell me I should love
it, I don't. So it's OK.
Like Eva said, we give you permission to say you hate it,
(08:16):
but what we want is for you to hold on and have an open heart
and just hear us out. Yes, yeah.
Actually, you're got out. Don't hear me out.
Right, don't hear us out. We we have nothing good to say
apart from him, you know. OK, so.
Reasons. You said reasons.
Yeah, let's talk. What are some reasons that moms
hate homeschooling? Well, these are in no particular
order, but as I've thought aboutthis, and I'm sure you have some
(08:39):
too, Abby, the one of the first.Well, I have two kind of top
reasons that I think, I think one of the first ones is because
parent homeschooling is mostly about parenting and parenting is
really stinking hard sometimes because our kids, you know, we,
we want our kids to wake up in the morning with a smile on
(09:01):
their face and we want them to be like, mom, I'm so happy that
you woke me up this morning. Can I please go do some math?
Can I, you know, just can I serve you in some way?
How in the world can I be a blessing to you in our, in our
family? And can I do those dishes for
you? Because I see that they're piled
up in the sink and I know you were up late last night lesson
(09:23):
planning or maybe spending time with dad or doing whatever.
And I just want to I want to be a blessing to you, mom.
And so I'm going to obey today. I'm going to do everything you
asked me to do with a smile on my face.
I'm going to do all of my schoolwork.
I'm going to finish my list. I'm going to do my chores.
Like that is so unrealistic. That doesn't happen.
And so in our in our fantasy world, we want that to be the
(09:46):
case. We want our kids to always be
obedient. We want to give them an
assignment or give them a task or just instruct them in
something and we want them to doit happily.
But rarely, at least in my home,rarely, does that happen where
my kids are just like, sure mom,I'd love to bless you in that
way. Right.
And so maybe if a mom is thinking that is what it looks
(10:08):
like in all of our houses, then they wake up and they get the
grumbling and the complaining and the throwing the pillow
because at the door, 'cause theydon't want it open and the do I
have to? And this is stupid.
And maybe you're thinking, well,I hate this because everybody
else's children hop out of bed with shirt pencils ready to go.
And so maybe that's, that's the first myth that we have to
(10:29):
debunk is this isn't easy for any of us.
And I mean, at least you're hearing 2 homeschool moms here
that have been doing a while. I don't have one kid that hops
out. Well, one of them does a little
more than the others, but they're humans, right?
And let's be honest, do I hop out of bed going, I can't wait
to clean and cook and change diapers.
And I mean, we're humans. Right, right.
(10:51):
And it's our sinful nature. We don't want to do things that
are hard and uncomfortable. And homeschooling is both of
those things. It's hard for the mom and it's
hard for the kid because anything that we're learning is
having to stretch our brain and then doing, you know, just
whether it's chores or, you know, doing, doing school work,
(11:11):
It's, it's all stuff that we have to think about and put
effort forth, which is why it's so much easier to just sit in
front of ATV and watch a show mindlessly and not have to think
about it. That's easy.
That's the easy thing to do. Home schooling takes a lot of
effort. It takes planning, it takes
effort, it takes sacrifice in a lot of ways.
(11:31):
And so it's just hard. And I think kind of linked with
that, I think the other thing my, my #2, or maybe my number
one now I think this would be mynumber 2, is that we, we are
surrounded by a world of social media fakes where we see that
(11:54):
everyone else has it all together.
At least we think everyone else has it all together.
And they have the perfect lessonplans and they have the perfect
house and they're. Seriously, if I see one more
picture of the perfect homeschool room, right, I might
vomit because guess what? I was at my dining room table
wiping up toast crumbs so that they wouldn't get caught under
the child's paper when they werewriting on it, right?
(12:15):
It's not real. It's, it's not real.
It isn't. And so it makes it really
difficult because we have a tendency to compare ourselves
with other people. And so we've got the one side of
it that's just hard. It's just hard.
Like it's physically hard to homeschool.
It's hard to deal with parenting.
It's hard to deal with the sacrifice that it makes.
And then it makes it harder whenwe look at everyone else around
(12:39):
us and whether it's people on social media or people in your
Co-op or your next door neighbor, we think everyone else
has it together and we're the ones who don't.
And so I think. Would make us hate it.
Which would make us hate it, right?
Exactly. So on that note, we're going to
take a quick break. We'll be back.
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thisincrediblefreehomeschoolresource@apologia.com/bootcampWe are back and we are talking
about hating homeschooling. But why do people hate
homeschooling? So I gave you my first two
reasons. My My first one would be because
(13:41):
it's hard. My second one is because we
compare are struggles with everyone else who seems to have
it all together. And I think those are two
reasons. What what do you think Abby?
What are? What's your take?
Well, some of the things I hear from moms about why they would
say that they hate, I hate that word.
I'm sorry. I just I struggle saying those
two words together in a sentence.
(14:01):
But I get it. Some of you feel that way.
So some people feel isolated. They feel like that this is a
mundane task to be home all day long.
And I honestly, we could touch on that, but we, Yvette and I
did a, a episode called The Ministry of Motherhood.
And I think that talks about a lot about how we might think
(14:22):
that this is mundane, but it's not.
But I do think some moms feel like they're isolated.
They never can leave their house.
Or maybe here's some I've heard they can't get along with their
child or the socialization issue.
And I I think when a mom says I hate homeschooling, I often ask,
do you hate when your kids are in public school or were in
(14:43):
public school? Did you hate summertimes?
Because often I hear them say, yeah, I hated it when my kids, I
couldn't wait for them to go back to school is usually what
they say. I couldn't wait for them to go
back to school. And I think what you you hit on
Yvette, that was really good wasit's probably not homeschool.
It's probably parenting because parenting is hard because in the
summer, let's be honest, we havethe same issues, right?
(15:04):
We have the same issues that thegrumbling, the complaining, the
struggles. And so really, you know, those
are some of the things. And then the other big one that
I hear is I don't like being home.
I'm losing me time. I get this me time.
I'm losing so much of me and me time or I would be more
(15:25):
fulfilled in a career. And honestly, this might feel
like the cold hard truth a little bit, but I don't know a
time when God has called us to do only the things that we like.
You know, I mean, we might not like homeschooling today, but
but when are we only called to do the things we like?
(15:46):
You know, think about Jesus. Did he probably like being
stoned? I doubt it.
Did he like being spit on? Probably not, but here's what he
did. He saw the bigger picture and I
think that is what I want to encourage moms is there are the
daily mundane things. It is hard and, and we can talk
more about the practical things to do because I know that we
(16:08):
need to give practical tips whenit feels like that we have to
zoom out and look at the bigger picture.
You know, he did what he did with the end in mind.
And that's what we how we need to face homeschool is it's not
about me liking it or loving it.It really isn't.
And when I realized that and I realized that it's out of
(16:28):
obedience to what God called me to.
It is miraculous how all of a sudden your heart aligns with
God's heart and you start to like it because it's God's best
plan. And, and I think it's just God's
way of blessing us too, when we line up our our hearts with his
and we say, yes, we talked aboutthat with Mary.
He starts to give us a love for it because it's a love for what
(16:49):
he loves, which is teaching and training up children in his
word. Yeah, that's right.
I think also it, it can often times depend on mom's
temperament and personality because I have, you know, I
know, of course, many homeschoolmoms and it seems that the ones
who struggle the most with it are those who are very type A.
(17:13):
They have A and, and, and we need type A's.
I'm not bashing type A's. I have a husband who's a type A
and praise God for that because we we would we would just be a
mess without him. I'm type A.
Yeah, you are. You are.
And and you know what? That's probably why you and I
make a good team. I, and I've said this lots of
times, I am just definitely moreof a laid back, fly by the scene
of my pants kind of girl. I have order in my home and and
(17:36):
I know what needs to get done and I do it and I do it well,
but I also it it takes a lot to stress me out a lot It.
I don't cry, as you know, almostnever.
I just like, I'm very laid back,but not lazy, but but easy going
in that way. And so for me, I don't have the
(17:57):
constant anxiety of feeling like, OK, we're, we're not where
we're supposed to be in this curriculum.
We've got to get to this by the end of the year.
And my kids aren't, or they're supposed to be according to
state standards. And my, my friend is here, you
know, doing this thing with her kids and, and her kids are
taking music lessons and art lessons and blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. And my kids aren't doing those
things. And I'm like, I just, I, I, I
(18:20):
don't, I don't focus on those things.
And so it doesn't stress me out.On the other hand, there can be
people like myself who tend to lay back too much.
And sometimes, quite honestly, Ido lay back too much.
And then I have to get back and say, OK, we need to get a little
bit more serious about this thing, whatever that thing is.
(18:40):
But I think depending on mom's temperament, if you are a mom
who is a very focused, very driven, very Type A and you have
everything that needs to be in order and, and things don't fall
into place with you, because I promise you they won't unless
you have one child and that child has the exact same
(19:01):
temperament as you, right? And they're as driven as you
are. Right.
It's, you're always going to have conflict with your, your
kids and with your inner self because you're always going to
feel frustrated that it's not enough, you're not doing it well
enough. You're not meeting your own
standards and reaching your own goals that you have set forth or
(19:26):
that you feel like even the Lordhas set forth for you and your
family. And so that can become a a real
frustration for moms and and cause many moms to hate
homeschooling. Oh my goodness, because that
that is that is my personality. And so I think that those type A
moms, I would say I would, it'd be a good thing to look up or to
(19:46):
study. I would say you're right, People
more of the type A end up hatingit more.
And I think here's why We're control freaks and we want
everything exactly the way we want it.
And we have a plan. And if things don't fit into our
box and our plan, we get frustrated, we get irritated, we
feel like we're failing. And that would make us hate it.
(20:08):
And I think that that I see so many moms jump shit because it
it's too much and they hate it. And I say it doesn't have to be
too much, though it is. Honestly, for me, it took years
of releasing control and being able to realize that I was in
bondage to my own control. There's no freedom when you when
(20:30):
you approach homeschool that way.
And the greatest blessing of homeschool is the freedom that
we have. But we kind of we kind of put
ourselves in our own little prison when we have to check off
every list and fit every kid into the box and run, I'll be
honest, run our homeschools likea public school.
And that robs the joy of what we're doing.
(20:51):
It makes us as as moms feel likewe're losing our self who God
made me into this homeschool thing.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
It doesn't have to be that way at all.
We can like like you said, we can loosen up.
We can we can realize that this isn't a job to be done as we see
a job to be done. It's a calling to answer.
And when we see it, just that slight difference, all the
(21:15):
sudden we have freedom and we can find joy in it.
And I also think when you're a type A control freak, your kids
are going to buck you. They just are, they are going to
buck that because they, they getyour motive.
You know, you're trying to fit them into what, what your agenda
is, rather than build a home around learning and, and follow
the Lord's lead in it. So there has to be a shift in
(21:38):
that. And as a type A person, it takes
a while, but you can't jump shipbecause it will come because
surrendering to the Lord and answering the call, He will give
you what you need to to settle down.
Yeah, Yep, Yep. Those often times, you know,
moms will go to bed at night andlay awake for hours thinking
about how they think they're failing their their kids
(21:58):
academically, how they think they're failing in their
parenting, how they think they're failing compared to
other people. Maybe just feeling like, why?
I just don't have it all together and I can't get it all
together because we, you know, we've talked about this so many
times. Homeschooling is hard because
it's not just getting in your car, driving to a classroom,
teaching all day and then going home and separating the two.
(22:20):
Homeschooling is a way of life. And so as part of it, you are
chauffeur, you're the family chef, you're the grocery
shopper, you're, you know, you're, you're all the things,
you're the teacher, you're the lover, you're the, you're all of
it. And it's really, really hard to
balance everything. And so we never, never feel like
(22:42):
we can do it all. And so we always feel like we're
somehow failing, but you're never going to do it all.
I, we, we have spent as a family, we have spent the last
four years of our lives filming a documentary on homeschooling.
Literally, we've, we've traveledto 20 something different States
(23:03):
and we've, we have filmed peopleon many of those states.
And we are on episode, I don't know, 215 now or something like
that of the podcast. I have talked to a lot of
homeschool moms a lot. And every mom feels the same
way. You're not going to get it all
done right. You're never you're, you're not
someone special and your neighbors not someone special
(23:26):
who who thinks that they can just do it all and do it
perfectly. And so we have to let go of
that. We have to let go of that
mindset that we're not doing enough, we're not doing it it
well enough and we're somehow failing our family.
Because I think that's the number one reason why people
hate homeschooling. We just, we feel like it, it's
hard. We we feel like we're just
(23:47):
messing it up. Right.
No, I, I completely agree. And, and it is hard, but we can
do hard things. And most often the, the best,
most productive things are the hardest things.
We're reading Pilgrim's Progressright now and there's a line in
it that keeps saying do the hardbut right thing and over and
(24:07):
over. And I really love that because
it's teaching that easy isn't always better.
So mom, if you're feeling like Ihate homeschool step one, feel
it, know it, acknowledge it and then say, OK, why do I hate it?
And we has basically spent this episode talking about the
reasons that moms might hate. And we're going to come back and
talk about, you know, OK, So what, what now?
(24:30):
OK, so I've identified the reasons that I'm hating it, but
then give me practical tips. But I would say that the first
thing is, is just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not worth
it. Just because it's hard doesn't
mean we don't do it. You know, just because it's hard
doesn't mean we have to hate it.Marriage can be hard, but you
know what? It's one of the greatest
(24:51):
blessings you'll ever had. Labor is one of the hardest
things ever. But look what you get in the
end. And I think we just need to keep
having that forward thinking of it's hard right now, but that's
because I'm raising up children in the Lord to be warriors for
him in this world, for goodness sake, that's a big job.
(25:12):
Yeah, I love that analogy of being in labor because as women,
you know, most women listening to this and even even those who
maybe have have their children through adoption, we have many,
many friends who have adopted. We we were in that place where
we thought we were going to needto adopt.
Took us, you know, many, many years to have our first
daughter. And even that you go through
(25:33):
months and sometimes years of just excruciating waiting and
labor's hard. It's painful.
Oh man, it hurts. It hurts so bad.
Why don't you quit? You can't.
You can't quit because you know what's coming.
You get a prize in the end, a cute little prize that's wrapped
up in a little swaddling blanket.
(25:54):
And it's still gonna make life hard, but you know that there is
so much more good. Yep, Yep, it's.
Why we gotta stop being afraid to do hard things?
I think that that is that is my heart's cry for moms.
We have to stop being afraid to do hard things and stop doing
the easy things 'cause they're they don't produce the fruit
that God wants in US. Yeah, that's right.
(26:14):
And God will give us the rest and the strength and the ability
and the wisdom to do what he's called us to do.
And I love that you say that just just boldly because it is
hard. We, we don't want to do the hard
thing, especially in our societynow, you know, you look back to
generations of, of people and they, they, they worked hard to,
(26:36):
you know, just to put food on the table.
Well, goodness gracious, I mean,we live in a in a age now where
we don't even have to leave our house to put food on the table.
We can literally call, you know,somebody and have them come put
food on our table for us. You know, they can actually cook
the food or they can go grocery shopping for us and put the food
(26:56):
on the table or, or hand it to us at our front door.
We have it so easy. And so we take that as well.
We want life to be easy. We want to be handed a silver
platter and we don't want to have to do the hard thing.
Right. And we become very self
indulgent. We become very like, I want the
me time. I want to send my kids off
somewhere else so that I can invest in myself.
(27:17):
I don't want to be stuck at homeall day when I feel like there's
a world out there that will pat me on the back and tell me how
wonderful I am. And I think this life of ease
that we've had honestly has kindof led to this self indulgent
that when we are faced with something difficult, we say, I
hate it, I don't want to do it. I quit, but like I said before,
that is not the heart of God andthat is not that's not what God
(27:41):
wants from us. Yes, I agree completely.
God has not called us to an easylife.
But aside from that, I know thatthat's not the only reason
because I know there are many people who are not, you know, I
don't want to say lazy, but you know, for lack of a better word,
they're not lazy. They're willing to do the hard
thing. And even still.
They don't love it. They don't love it.
(28:01):
It's hard and, and it can be hard sometimes.
And I think that there are many reasons why it can be hard.
Sometimes it's because you don'thave family around you.
Sometimes you don't have community around you.
Sometimes you don't have a a husband who's supportive.
Maybe he allows you to homeschool and praise God for
that if he does, but he's just not supportive and doesn't want
(28:22):
to have any part of it. And so you feel like the burden
is completely on you, and that'shard.
Right. Sometimes you have a struggling
reader that no matter how much you invest, you feel like it's
you're just not getting through or you have several kids with
special needs. And it is hard and, and, and
we're not here to tell you it's not hard, but we know that God
(28:44):
will give us everything we need to do it and, and people to come
alongside us to help us in it. But there are so many reasons
that it's hard. Yep, we are going to continue
this conversation. We're going to give you some
some help and encouragement on how you can turn the tide and go
from your hate of home schoolinginto a love or at least and
(29:08):
acceptance or like of homeschooling, maybe the love
doesn't come until a couple years down the road, but at
least helping to point you in that direction of enjoying your
homeschool journey with your family.
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(29:51):
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grading tools. To learn more, visit
bjupresshomeschool.com. We as moms, I think we have
this, this issue where we tell ourselves that we can't do it.
We're never enough. We're not going to be able to do
it. And at the end of the day, we
have a list in our head of all the things either we failed at
(30:15):
or our kids didn't step up to the plate on or areas that we
need growth. And I just keep going back to
Philippians 4 where it says we need to focus on the good and
the lovely and the praiseworthy and, and all these things.
And I, I feel like as a homeschool mom that screams, I
hate homeschool schooling, The first thing you need to do is
write Philippians 4 and put it on your fridge.
(30:36):
And every day when you start to say, these are the reasons I
hate it, stop and say, but you know what?
Look at the time I'm getting with my kids.
Or if nothing else, 'cause you're like, I don't want that
time with my kids. Say, look how God's refining me.
Look how my patience is being stretched.
Look how I can't do this. And so I'm forced onto my knees
to depend on the God who promises that he will give me
(30:59):
what I need to do it. And so I it's just a simple, not
simple, a very difficult, subtleis what I mean shift in thinking
between I hate homeschooling to I want to have the heart of God
for homeschooling. And when we can shift that, you
know it, it says in First Samuel12, But be sure to fear the Lord
(31:20):
and serve Him faithfully with all your heart.
Consider what great things He has done for you.
When I start to get frustrated, like I don't want to serve these
kids honestly, how many meals dothey need a day?
I don't, they're not getting it.They don't even appreciate it.
Why am I putting in all this time and energy and all they
really want to do is go outside and play.
And I have to say, you know what?
I'm not doing it to like it. I'm not doing it to get my
(31:40):
fulfillment. I'm not doing it for any other
reason that I am serving God. And when you can, when you can
look at it that way, all of a sudden it's like, oh, well, this
is a big thing that I'm doing. And, and when we align our
hearts with God, he will align his with us.
And, and it will just, it just happens.
(32:01):
You start to have his heart for the job He's called you to do.
And the joy starts to come because joy is the fruit of the
Spirit. Joy is not a fruit of
homeschool. Let me repeat.
It's the fruit of the spirit. So if you're looking for all
your joy to come from homeschool, it's not going to,
but it is going to come from theLord that has called you to
homeschool. Yeah, I love that Abby.
(32:23):
I love that you talk about just being intentional about trying
to find joy in it, because it's easy to grumble.
It's easy to just be like, I hate this in here.
All the reasons why I get that Ido that often times with
different areas in my life. You know, I, I, there are things
that I'm just like, I just, I, I'm just done.
(32:43):
I don't want to do this thing anymore.
It's hard and it's discouraging and it's frustrating and, and I
don't want to do it anymore. I feel that way often times
about discipline. You know, I, I, I hate
disciplining my kids. Like, I mean, I don't know any
parent who enjoys it, but, but Ilegitimately hate it.
(33:04):
It, it just, it's hard to do. I don't want the the fight with
them, but I know that because I love them and I care about their
their eternal souls that we haveto correct and discipline and
train and guide them in the way of the Lord and and so it's hard
(33:24):
sometimes, but I love that you brought up Philippians 4.
You know, the whole chapter is fantastic, but specifically
Philippians 4 verses 6 and sevensay do not be anxious about
anything and say that again, do not be anxious about anything.
But in everything with Thanksgiving, present your
(33:45):
request to the Lord and the peace of God, which chance ends
all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ
Jesus. And that's the thing we we need
to give him thanks. You know, find the good things
to find that find the good in it.
You know, when you're when you're getting frustrated, just
stop and say, you know what, Lord, thank you that I have the
freedom to homeschool my kids. Thank you that my kids are are
(34:08):
in my home with me and that they're they're, they have the
ability to learn. Thank you that I have the
ability to teach them. Thank you that you've given us
your word so that we can teach them truth.
Find the, the things that you'rethankful for and, and meditate
on those things. And you have to often times
(34:29):
again, be intentional about that.
You have to bring your mind backto the blessings of
homeschooling and stop focusing on the the hate that you have
for homeschooling or or you knowthe frustration that you might
have with it. And you have to remember too,
God says, he tells us that children are a blessing, they're
not a burden. And so if he says they're a
(34:51):
blessing and we're saying, I hate this, then somewhere
there's a disconnect with what we're believing that God is
saying, you know, because he's right, you're wrong, sorry.
They are a blessing. And so if you're hating it, the
first thing I would say is take your heart to the Lord and just
be real and honest and pray and say, God, I'm hating this.
(35:11):
But I know that's not what your intent is because I know that
these children are a blessing. And I know that this is your
design. And you don't design us to hate
what you called us to do. And, and get to God on it and
deal with it and don't try to just, you know, grab on and fix
it as type A Oh, I hate it. So I'm going to force myself to
love it. And we're going to love this.
(35:32):
Everybody get up and smile. But we, we just need to be
honest and real with the Lord. And I think another thing that
we tend to do, and you hit on this in the last episode is we
look around a lot. We look at what all the other
moms are doing. Will their, their kids get
dropped at school and look what they get to do.
And look at they, they make moremoney 'cause they're doing a
side job or they get to go to the, I don't know, have lunch
(35:54):
all day with their friends or, oh, look at that other
homeschool mom. Her kid doesn't struggle with
reading. Her children don't fight all
day. And I, I go back to Proverbs
1430 and it says a heart at peace gives life to the body,
but envy rots the bones. And there is nothing that is
going to drive you to hating homeschool faster than looking
(36:16):
around at other women and envying them.
It, it will put you, it will rotyour bones and, and once once
those are rotted, you are going to hate everything about
homeschool. So just really go to the Lord
and say God, why am I hating this?
Is this something I in my heart?Is this something I need to
change in my home? I mean, maybe we just need a new
reading curriculum. I mean, it could be I hate that
(36:38):
curriculum. Or is this a deeper heart issue?
Because God is faithful. He's faithful to us when we
truly seek him in his way. And He doesn't want us to hate
it. He doesn't.
That's not His will. And when we pray His will, He is
faithful to answer that prayer. That's right.
That is right. We're going to take a quick
break, but when we come back, I want to give you some very, very
(37:00):
specific things that you can do to encourage you.
I mean, not that we've not been doing that, but I want to give
you just kind of some specific steps that you can take in order
to enjoy homeschooling. So we'll be right back.
I want to tell you about 3 amazing free resources we have
available right now at schoolhouserocks.com.
First, we have the Affordable Homeschooling Guide.
(37:21):
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(37:43):
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Finally, every family needs to get our Homeschoolers guide to
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(38:05):
everything you need to know about school choice in an easy
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in our store. Visit
schoolhouserocked.com/store to get yours today.
That's Schoolhouse. rocked.com/store.
We are back. And like I said before the
(38:25):
break, I want to give some very specific ways that we can
encourage you to kind of get past this, this idea or this
feeling that you may be having of hating homeschooling and just
feeling frustrated with it. Or maybe, you know, maybe you
don't and you have a friend who does not want to homeschool or
is homeschooling but really struggling with it.
(38:47):
Or maybe you're just tired. You're half getting halfway
through the year and you know, the month of February is hard
because we have the, the beginning of the year is, is
kind of busy and we're trying toget into our groove.
We get into our groove and then we break for the holidays and we
have Thanksgiving and the Christmas and the New Year's and
we, we, there's just so much going on during that season.
(39:10):
And then we come back into it inJanuary.
You're trying to get back into it again.
And then February, I don't know what happens in February, but
but a lot of families kind of get into this like home school
slump where they're just. Like it's the worst month of the
year, especially where we live because it's just weather wise,
it's the worst. It feels like you're never going
to see the sun and you're never going to see a plant or a living
(39:33):
piece of anything and you're never going to get out of here.
Here's the thing, don't quit anything in February and and
just don't because I am telling you March is on its way and
everything looks better in March.
So you're not alone in that, that's for sure.
Yeah. And it seems like it's so long
(39:53):
and so far off till the end of the school year till you can
have a break again. And I think sometimes, like we
just long for that break. We long because again, it's
hard. It takes a lot of effort, a lot
of work, a lot of sacrifice. So we long for that summer
break. Yeah.
And so. Here's a practical tip.
Take a week off in February. Yeah, I'm getting there.
(40:15):
Yeah, yeah, I'm getting here. Are we not allowed to do that?
Well, no, you can do that, but Ihave my list.
Oh, this is your list. You're.
Jumping ahead, Abby. Oh sorry, I'm just ready to take
a week off. I'm looking for any reason to
take a week off right now. Abby's going to take a week off
in February, apparently. Just kidding.
Well, we told you in the first episode that we don't actually.
(40:37):
We always know what we're going to talk about before we jump on,
but we don't really compare notes with each other, so it's
kind. Of funny because usually equally
yoked. We Yeah, right.
I know. And so you're jumping into one,
one of my notes, but that's that's number three.
So I have one and a 2. Whoa, I got way ahead.
Sorry. No, that's OK, It should.
(40:57):
Be #1 though it. Should be well, well number one,
this is number one. Number one is which we've
already talked about surrender. Surrender all of it to the Lord,
all of it. And when I say surrender, I mean
genuinely surrender. Get on your knees.
Pray Lord you help me. I cannot do this.
I am tired, I am frustrated. I hate this.
(41:18):
I have often times cried out to the Lord for things that that
have been hard in my life and I just said I hate this.
I literally hate this thing thatI'm dealing with.
Exactly. He already knows so be honest
with him. He already knows, but surrender.
Just say, Lord, you got to help me with this and he will.
I mean the book of James talks about seeking wisdom.
(41:41):
If we ask him for wisdom, he will give it.
Cry out to your God. Cry out I I mean our God.
I don't mean your God like whoever your God is, but Jesus,
Jesus, cry out to Jesus, to the God of the universe.
Cry out to God and ask him for help and just surrender it on to
say, Lord, I lay this at your feet, I need your help.
(42:02):
So I think that would be the number one thing, the number.
Right, that is that that should be #1 I know.
So you were trying to do the take a week off not?
Just not spiritually mature. Oh my goodness.
The number two thing is which wehave talked about many, many,
many times and I will actually link back to a couple of
(42:23):
episodes where we've talked about this specifically.
Chocolate in the closet. No, not hot chocolate in the
closet. Do you drink hot chocolate in
the closet? No, like chocolate bars hide
chocolate in the closet. Oh, hide chocolate in the
closet. Oh, that's going to be #5 OK,
hold on, I'm writing that. Down.
It has to be in there because I'm telling you, moms, sometimes
you just need to go in the closet, have a moment and take
(42:45):
your secret chocolate bar. Literally before we got on this
podcast, I went and got a handful of M&M's from my secret
stash. I know it's a thing, but that's
number five. So we're only on number 2.
So #2 is know your why. You have to know your why, Abby.
You're the queen of Know your Why.
I know and I went right to take a week off and eat chocolate.
(43:07):
What is wrong with? Me.
Oh my goodness. So that's.
The reason today? We have done a few episodes on
why to home school and, and you knowing your why.
And so you really need to figureout if you don't yet know, you
need to know why you're doing this because when the going gets
(43:29):
tough, the tough get going. And if it gets tough, which it
will, you're going to say, I'm out of here and I'm not going to
do this anymore. Or you're just going to, you
know, end up being frustrated and angry all the time and
bitter because now your kids aremaking you homeschool or the
government or your husband is making you homeschool and it's
going to cause bitterness. And we don't want that.
So know your why, but figure outwhat your why really is what
(43:52):
what do you read as you read God's word?
And you know, for our family, the the verse that we meditate
on over and over again when it comes to our why is Psalm 1.
And it says, Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of
the wicked public school, nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers, but his delight is in
(44:13):
the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its
fruit in its season, and it's leaf does not wither, and all
that he does he prospers. The wicked are not so better
like chaff that the wind drives away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor
sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
(44:34):
For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of
the wicked will perish. We do not want our children to
perish. We want our our girls to walk in
the counsel of the Almighty God,not in the counsel of the
wicked. And so for us, Psalm 1 is, is
our, is our why. And so know what your why is
(44:55):
that's, that's the second thing.The third thing is that I would
say, and this goes to what Abby was talking about, reset.
Just reset. Stop what you're doing.
Take a week off. If you need to take two weeks
off, take a month off, whatever you need to do.
I, I'm, I'm 100% serious when I say this.
(45:15):
If you need to take the rest of the school year off and do
nothing but just read God's wordand good literature to your
kids, do it. They will be better off by you
doing that then they will be by you living in a state of
constant frustration and bitterness and trying to force
them to learn the math and the the language arts and the
(45:35):
science and the history and all the things that you're teaching
them. Now, those things are important.
You need to teach those. But if you're just at your
breaking point and they're at their breaking point, take a
step back and reset. And I would say that the first
way to do this goes back to #1 refer to #1 surrender to the
Lord. But also talk with your husband
(45:56):
about it and, and just be honestwith him.
Say this is what I'm struggling with.
And talk with your kids. You know, if they're three,
don't talk with them because they're going to just want to
play with trucks. And that's fine.
And that's what they should be doing.
But if your kids are, you know, upper elementary to high school,
especially if they're in middle school and high school, talk
with them because their opinion does matter.
And and if they are feeling frustrated with the way things
(46:21):
are going at home, you don't want them to live in bitterness
against you and against homeschooling.
You don't want them to come out of your home saying I hated
being homeschooled. Right.
And I think part of that reset and part of what can make kids
feel that way is when we do homeschool above life.
And I, I see so many homeschool moms who say I hate
homeschooling. And I look at what they're doing
(46:43):
and they're, when we have fun things like, Hey, do you guys
just want to put books away and go sledding?
Well, we can't because we have homeschool or hey, I can't make
it to women's Bible study because I have homeschool.
We can't do anything because we are so bound.
And I think some part of the reset is, is homeschool is life
and God wants us to live and live abundantly and not be, you
(47:06):
know, slaves to these books and and there is that's going to
make you hate it. And so when you reset and you
come back, put life 1st and I promise seek first the Kingdom
of God and then live. And and academics are going to
happen a lot easier when it's not a fight every day when it's
not your priority. So sometimes homeschool can
(47:28):
become an idol and it overtakes our life and then we learn to
hate it. So live, you know, go for the
walk, for goodness sake. Even if the math isn't done, you
can come back to it. And and that's going to just, I
don't know, it's just going to inject joy into your home
school. I love that it's so true.
It's so true. So OK, number one is surrender
(47:51):
#2 is know your why #3 is reset and, and do that with, with, you
know, prayer, talking to your husband, talking to your kids
and praying together as a family.
Just saying, Lord, what do you want our family to look like?
How, how do you want this to play out and trust him to be
able to do that. And then, but as you're
resetting, my next one for wouldbe surround yourself, which
(48:14):
we've talked about so many times.
Surround yourself with with community, with like minded
community. You need to be encouraged and be
real. We talked about that in the
first episode on Monday. You need to be able to be
transparent and real with your friends or your family members.
Who home's going to say, I'm really struggling.
Can you pray with with me or forme about this?
(48:34):
But find a group of people who will encourage you.
Try to stay away. And you know, if you have family
members who don't get homeschooling, they don't
understand. I'm not telling you to walk away
from them, but maybe don't talk about homeschooling with them,
you know? Yeah, and that's something that
we have to be careful because I think so often we don't be real
because we're afraid we're goingto give homeschool a bad light.
Like, oh, they hate it. It's terrible for their family.
(48:55):
And that's why it's so importantto find even just one sister in
Christ that you can be real with.
And she's not going to go, Oh, well, that's why you shouldn't
homeschool where she's going to point you back to Christ and
she's going to hear you and validate what you're saying, but
she's not going to leave you stuck there, you know?
But don't let that be your neighbor who wants to hate
(49:16):
homeschooling with you, right? Right.
Exactly being. Wise.
Being wise and then, well, I hada #5 but but then you added
number six, so I'm going to move#6 to #5 and #5 then is going to
be get chocolate because chocolate apparently gets us
through the day. I don't think we even need to
talk about that anymore. It's just something you do.
Right, because then number six, which was #5 but has now been
(49:39):
bumped to 6 was listen to this podcast.
And I'm totally serious about that.
Like that's why we do what we doevery week.
We work really hard and intentionally to bring
encouragement to you. And so listen to the podcast, go
back and listen to some some episodes from the past.
If you go to podcast@schoolhouserock.com, you
(50:03):
will find ourpodcast.schoolhouserock.com.
Yeah, the AT is our e-mail address.
You could go there too and e-mail us, but go to or just go
to schoolhouserock.com and clickon the podcast button.
That's probably the easier thingto do.
But you can go back and you can look at all of the podcasts that
we've done and just find some topics.
We really try to title them in away that represents what that
(50:27):
specific episode is about. So look at the different topics
and see which one might be an encouragement and a blessing to
you. But go back, listen to the
podcast even. I mean, I oftentimes will listen
to podcasts a couple of times. The podcast I listen to most is
Heidi Saint John. And so there have been many of
her episodes that I'll just go back and like, man, that was so
(50:48):
good. And I'll mark it and I'll have
to go back and listen to it again because there was so much
information in there. And I might need that
encouragement a month or two down the road.
And so listen to the podcast after you get your chocolate,
but don't let your kids know where the chocolate is because
that that just defeats the wholepurpose of fighting the
chocolate. And one thing we can promise you
(51:09):
every time you listen to this iswe're going to be real and
vulnerable. Neither Yvette nor myself are
going to ever be anything other than real.
So you might hear us say today really stunk, you know, but we
are always going to point you back to God's word because it
doesn't matter how we feel at the end of the day.
It doesn't matter how we feel. You know, our hearts can be
wicked and deceitful above all things.
(51:30):
What matters is that we're rooted in the truth.
And so on those days where you hate homeschooling, remember how
I feel isn't what matters. It's what I do with those
feelings. So take him to the Lord and get
back on that horse. I love it.
That is a perfect way to end Abby.
Thank you so much you guys. Thank you for listening again.
Go to the website, look at the podcast links that are on there.
(51:54):
Also, we have we have a YouTube channel.
I rarely talk about this, but doyou know, for those listening,
if you're not watching, do you know that we actually do every
single podcast on video? So these are all video like you
can go to our website, our, our YouTube channel, Schoolhouse
Rock, and you can find almost all of our, well, we, we didn't
(52:15):
start doing video until I think maybe a year into it or so.
But for the past year and a half, at least, you can watch
the videos of most of our podcast episodes.
And, and then you get to see Abby and I in person and we can
have coffee together. So go get your chocolate, go get
your cup of coffee and then joinAbby and I and you can watch
these videos instead of just listening to them.
(52:37):
So you guys, thank you again forbeing a blessing to us.
Thank you for those who continueto pray for us.
Thank you for those who have been so incredibly generous in
donating to the ministry of Schoolhouse Rock.
I've said this so many times, wewere never meant to do this
alone and we have not done this alone.
God has been so faithful to use people like you to help support
(52:58):
this ministry financially. So thank you to those of you who
have done that. You are a true blessing to us.
We will be back next Monday withanother fantastic episode and
until then, have a great day. Bye.
You're listening to the BiblicalFamily Network.
Hey, I'm Miki. And I'm will.
(53:18):
And we're the Co host of the Culture Proof podcast.
We want to invite you to join usevery week as we discuss what's
happening in the world and then filter those happenings through
a decidedly biblical lens. There are many questions,
especially when we see what's happening in our culture today,
but the answers are found withinthe word of God.
So that's where we want to look.Amen.
(53:38):
When we resist those cultural trends that rival the truth, we
remain culture proof.
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