October 23, 2023 • 35 mins
I hear tons of spiritual influencers talk about sitting back, not working, and manifesting and getting what you want. I find it kind of madness.
Dive deep into an enlightening episode of the Empire Self Podcast, where we challenge the often-misunderstood spiritual mantra, "sow what you reap." Too many of us are ensnared by the allure of fleeting physical rewards, overlooking the profound spiritual harvest waiting for us.
Join us as we explore a transformative shift in perspective: focus on manifesting your innate gifts, not just your transient desires. This journey will not only guide you towards the abundant blessings you seek but also anchor you in purpose, passion, and fulfillment.
Imagine yourself: a woman wandering through an enchanted forest, scattering apple seeds with abandon. Her intent isn't merely for the apples, but for the sheer joy of nurturing life. Let this meditation guide you to manifest from a place of love and purpose. Embrace the true essence of giving, and discover a life richer than you ever imagined.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
All right.
All right,
everybody.
Welcome to the Empire Self podcast.
This is Mark a turnip seed and I am happy to be your host today.
I'm happy to be talking about some of those little itty bitty things that we have in our lives that are holding us back from being the best self that we want to be from having the empire of self that we're comfortable inside of our own skin.
(00:25):
We're comfortable with sharing the person who's with inside of our skin with the rest of the world and a place that eventually as we exude our comfort and our security and confidence with ourselves that people outside of us also begin to look at us as a place of security and comfort and magic and a place where they can come and experience life and love and a place that they can depend on.
(00:53):
This is my ultimate goal with this podcast is to help you to create,
to craft and create the life that you want to live,
that you feel comfortable about being inside of.
Because inside of this life,
right inside of this great magical,
wonderful life we look out and we see this world,
we see this world with so much beauty and yet how often,
(01:20):
how often do you look back inside and it's just crushed,
it's just crushed because you see outside it being this perfect,
beautiful world.
And you go,
why God,
why do I not feel like other people feel?
Why do I also feel the pain?
(01:41):
Why do I have these desires and these,
these,
these,
these,
these dreams that seem different from other people and they,
and they don't seem as great and they,
and they,
and they,
they might even be a little bit off from what I even believe in.
Like,
why,
why am I here?
Just not perfect when I look outside and I see everything that is perfect.
(02:06):
Well,
I have news for you all.
Everything out there is not perfect.
Everything out there,
including the most beautiful thing that you can imagine.
Maybe that's snow falling from the falling from the sky.
Snow is a representation of winter where everything is,
is died,
everything has died.
Everything is,
(02:27):
is now is it's,
it's going through a hibernation.
Everything has slowed down so much that it doesn't even know at that point.
It's so unconscious that it may not even know that it's gonna come out for the next season.
That's the truth about winter.
We look at a whole bunch of trees in a forest and we see them and we see them as these beautiful green,
(02:49):
gorgeous trees.
Oh,
man,
a tree must have the most wonderful life.
And inside of that tree,
it aches and pains.
Each time the wind blows,
it creaks throughout the forest and makes a little cloud groan as it aches towards the sky.
Wishing that it could have a little bit more light,
wishing that it could have a little bit more water.
(03:11):
This tree that we are on looking,
wishing that we could have a life as simple as it is also inside of the suffering.
It is also inside of the pain that is life.
But the difference between the tree and you is that the tree knows this as an elemental truth.
(03:32):
The tree holds on to this and the tree uses this to express their brilliance as the tree begins to go through the changes of fall time.
And the and the and the sun starts to be at a different tilt at a different angle.
And it's not able to gather in as much energy that it needs to support all of its leaves.
(03:53):
The tree instead of giving us a horrible meager dis display of death.
It shines brighter than it ever did before with brilliant colors as if it's waving goodbye and saying,
praise God for the suffering that I am going through.
(04:16):
And I am going to use this suffering to bring the greatest joy and the greatest light that this planet can know from me.
It's going to see the change of the seasons I'm going to be a display of how God can take something that is exuding light that is giving off air that is getting off oxygen.
(04:37):
I am going to be able to take that and I'm going to be able to,
you know,
I'm going to be able to let go of it.
And I'm going to show everybody in the world that by shrugging my leaves and by going dormant as God would have me to be that I am going to emerge the next season,
so bright and so brilliant because this tree knows this tree knows that it's not the simple little desires that are within it.
(05:05):
It's not the simple little desires and thirsts that it has for sun or for,
for rain that is really going to actually give it its greatest joy.
So what then what then is the greatest joy?
What is the greatest joy that we should be seeking in this world?
How,
how,
(05:25):
why is it that we look out there and we go man.
I am just not near as beautiful as this tree and yet that tree is probably looking back.
And what is it saying?
It's probably saying that is the most beautiful thing of God's creation.
And what am I going to want to do?
I want to give that part of God's creation.
(05:48):
I wanna give that human being a brilliant display on my last few moments on this earth.
I wanna give this human a brilliant display.
I wanna give these animals a brilliant display.
I wanna give the rocks a brilliant display.
I wanna give my other tree friends a brilliant display in my very last moment of God's great existence and great life.
(06:16):
What I'm getting at here and what I'm starting to appreciate more and more is that we are able to craft within us,
an ability to see the things that we might otherwise feel are grave darkness or great weaknesses within us.
And we can start to look at them and start to see them as positives.
(06:37):
We can start to shine them as our great as gifts.
Now,
some of us may not be very happy with the gifts that we've been given.
Sometimes I remember growing up,
I was always looking over at my brother and always envious of why can he read better?
Why can he do math better?
My dad was an engineer,
right?
(06:57):
My dad was an engineer.
So I always wanted to please my dad.
Well,
we would sit down for math homework every night and not every night,
but we would sit down for math homework and my brother would get the,
get the questions and my dad would,
you know,
congratulate him for it and I would be getting them all wrong.
So it made me feel very much so like my gifts were unworthy that my gifts and this is not my father's fault.
(07:21):
This is not my brother's fault.
Either this is just the way that I believe that some people are born.
And if you're like me,
then you're probably listening to this podcast,
you might listen to one or two episodes,
you might even keep on listening and keep on listening because we have a lot in common.
And if that's the case,
then that's wonderful.
And I encourage you if we have that much in common,
(07:42):
start to share it yourself because that is in essence,
what this whole episode is going to be about is that when I really truly recognize my gifts,
the ushering out of those gifts becomes more gratifying,
more satisfying and way more sustainable and way more exciting to fulfill than my greatest desires.
(08:09):
But to get to that point,
we're going to have to go dive deep back into that childhood thought when I'm not enough.
And I'm sitting here and I'm thinking my brother's got the gifts that are making my father proud.
And I don't,
I begin to get jealous.
I begin to say,
I wish I had those gifts.
I wish I could have those gifts.
(08:29):
And then I become focused on not on what are the next gifts that I have or what are the gifts that I have that I'm going to be able to bring to the table.
But instead I start thinking more so on the desire,
the effect of and what I want from whatever I'm,
whatever it is I'm doing from my math problem,
for instance.
(08:50):
So there I'm thinking my desire as a child,
my desire is my father's approval.
And ultimately,
what becomes my fixation is not on my gift anymore.
My ultimate fixation has now become on my desire being fulfilled.
Now,
this is a very,
very natural thing.
It happens very early on in childhood and it will continue on through the rest of my life.
(09:17):
And I do recognize this and there's something to be said for that.
There's a way to use that,
right?
When you see somebody else who has a wonderful gift that you envy,
the way is not to start envying,
the way is to celebrate their gifts.
And the way is to not be envious but to ask for ways to collaborate and,
(09:37):
and see if you can use your gifts to bring a bigger piece of the puzzle together,
to help solve something to help make this world a better place.
That's a much better way of looking at your gifts than if you see somebody with something better and you go man,
I wish that I could have that.
I wish that I could be able to do that or I mean,
(09:57):
we can even talk about those as being the things that they get,
right?
The money,
the cards,
the spouse,
like what,
what is it?
You know,
what is it,
is that,
is that the desire or is that a reflection of a gift?
I do believe in most cases,
more often than not,
(10:18):
that the true satisfied individual is not going to have the gifts of their desires fulfilled.
And the reason why I know this is because I have had the gifts of my desires filled.
I've had the gifts of my desires filled many,
(10:39):
many times.
But for some reason,
every time that I have the gift of my desire filled,
I wake up feeling hungry again,
every single time,
every single freaking time that I eat a really,
really good meal,
I wake up feeling hungry again.
Every single time,
(11:01):
every single time.
Sometimes I wake up feeling sick because I ate so much trying to satisfy that desire that I woke up feeling sick,
so sick that now I couldn't satisfy any desires.
So sick that I've now taken myself out of life.
That's how much I chased that desire.
That's how much I fulfilled that desire desires.
(11:25):
It seems like with me when I chase them and I run after them,
they become fulfilled.
And then I am left hungry,
thirsty and wanting more.
I'm left with this sense of where did it go.
It's as,
(11:45):
it's as if it's as if desires when they're fulfilled are just like dust in the wind or even better,
just like gas floating out into outer space.
They really seem to be something that is,
that is not of the true essence of what it means to be a human being.
(12:08):
And I'm sick of it.
Honestly,
I'm just,
I'm just rather sick of it.
I'm rather sick of waking up every morning and just being like food,
money,
sex,
you know,
security,
desire and,
and,
and,
and,
and from those,
so those are actual needs,
but from those,
the desires start to start to weigh in on every decision that I'm making.
(12:33):
So those desires that the desires for food,
sex,
uh,
money,
security,
all of that stuff,
the desires for that is very natural and it's very good and it's very much so there and we need that to survive those types of things.
We need those desires if we don't have them,
if we don't have a reason to search for them,
(12:53):
then ultimately,
I mean,
I guess we would end up with nothing,
right?
I,
well,
actually when it starts to boil down and I really start to talk about this,
is it really that bad to end up with nothing?
I don't,
I don't really know.
That's a thought experiment that would take more of a Socratic dialogue with a discussion with somebody that I would love to have eventually.
(13:14):
So with that being said,
you know,
if you are interested in ever popping on the Empire Self podcast,
then please email me over a resume and I am looking for a co-host to pop on to this and talk about all those little things that we do or don't do that's holding us back from being our best self.
(13:35):
So if these desires,
right?
If these desires,
if I,
if I don't chase any of them,
then I end up with nothing.
And if that's,
you know,
a negative thing or a positive thing,
that's something for a much bigger philosophical discussion.
But what I will say right now is that the um the ultimate end product of my experience of chasing my desires has left me feeling oftentimes like it's rather empty like I finish and I'm,
(14:10):
I'm full,
right.
A desire you finish and you're full in a sense.
At that point,
the desire becomes almost a repulsion.
And that,
that has always been a very curious thing to me.
And in sex,
it's an extremely strong feeling and in food,
it's an extremely strong feeling in money.
(14:31):
I don't know,
I've never had so much money that I,
that I,
that I start to feel sick.
But I,
I do hear from in some of my circles,
I hear from people who say I built up this huge wealth of fortune thinking that it was going to satisfy and that it doesn't.
And that leads me to believe that it's just like one of these other desires.
(14:54):
And I can choose,
I can choose very much so to spend my life chasing after them.
If,
if,
if I want to.
Now I,
you know,
there's this,
there's this,
uh,
there's a curious thing that,
you know,
goes along in the,
in the Christian faith in particular that I know how to speak about.
And this probably happens in many other religions as well.
But they talk about what you sow is what you reap,
(15:17):
what you sow is what you reap.
Basically,
that means what you put into the ground as a seed is what you're going to reap as in the harvest,
what you put into the ground as a seed and what you continue to put in the ground as nourishment for that seed is ultimately going to influence what you are able to reap during the harvest come the fall time.
(15:42):
So if that's the case,
if we look at that on more of the psychological level than what we,
what we sow what we put into our thought bucket,
what we put into our thought garden and what we continue to pour water over what we continue to nourish with our relationships with our,
with our actions,
with everything.
If we,
if we have these thoughts and these focuses,
(16:03):
then they are going to lead to what to a harvest of some sort,
everything,
everything that we put in to any sort of bucket.
May it be a thought bucket or may it be a garden?
It's going to lead us to some sort of harvest.
May it be a negative thought?
May it be a positive thought?
(16:24):
May it be a positive goal with a whole bunch of negative thoughts?
That's one example of a reap and harvest,
right?
Is that we go in and we start to sow a whole bunch of great seeds with a whole bunch of great goals.
We have this apple that's supposed to be the greatest apple known to man.
(16:47):
And it is just the most amazing apple.
We put it in and we don't water it or we water it with Gatorade.
What have you watered a,
a,
a AAA an apple tree with Gatorade?
Do you think it's going to end up reaping?
Do you think in the next year and the next harvest season that you're going to be able to reap the greatest apple known to man?
(17:07):
I highly doubt that you're going to,
it could be a,
be a science experiment,
but I highly doubt that you're going to end up being able to reap exactly what you are trying to shoot for in the first place.
Now,
the curious thing about that statement though,
what you sow and what you reap is actually a point of contention for me.
(17:27):
I actually want to challenge it a little bit because because the in ess,
in essence,
the you at play in my life right now is,
is thinking about what I sow is what I reap.
So thinking about what I do is going to get me what I want,
what I sow and what I reap is a very desire specific,
(17:48):
it's a very ego specific statement.
And as I was sitting in church today,
it made me a little bit sick.
I started to think how many people are out here in this audience thinking,
what do I need to do next to get?
What I think I should have in the desire,
in the desire world of the Kingdom of God.
(18:10):
What do I need to give?
What do I need to give?
What,
what,
what type of good thoughts do I need to have?
What type of,
what type of bad thoughts do I need to avoid?
What type of,
what type of good seeds do I need to plant so that I can get my Ferrari or my money or,
or,
or this or that or the other.
Now,
(18:30):
what I see here,
what I see here,
what the issue is is that it's an egocentric and it's a very small,
you know,
vision scape.
Now,
I know that this is not the case for everybody.
I know that everybody doesn't see this as such,
but I certainly saw this as such my entire life.
And I think that part of me has,
you know,
not enjoyed the whole idea Christianity very much so because in essence,
(18:56):
there,
there,
it seems like what they're saying is what you do is with,
with God is,
is going to make you wealthy and rich and happy and fulfilled with a big American dream family.
And there's something there just just seems broken to me.
It just doesn't seem right.
And I've always had an issue with it.
(19:17):
Why,
why,
why is this the case?
Well,
I got to thinking in my life,
I don't know if this,
if this is actually practical.
I started thinking about all like the new age like manifestation stuff you know that I talk about and the other energy workers out there talk about and other teachers explain is that if you put good thoughts in,
(19:40):
then you get good things.
So you manifest,
you start dreaming about a billion dollars,
right?
You start really projecting in every single action that you do.
I took a grant Cardone class,
for instance,
I took a grant Cardone class that said if you want a million dollars in three months,
then what you do is you focus on that goal and and you sow all the seeds every single day,
(20:02):
you're just sowing seeds to get there,
you're going to get there.
That is very true.
Grant Cardone.
It's very,
very true.
You are going to get there my issue with this and that is a very Christian based understanding,
right?
If I sow those seeds,
I'm going to get there.
And another Christian way of taking that,
right?
If I sow those seeds and get there,
(20:23):
then I take that and I,
I bring it for the glory of God,
right?
It is a wonderful,
beautiful um transcription and then,
and it's a wonderful way of living life.
Unfortunately,
it's not a sustainable and it's not a one size fits all because not everybody in the kingdom of God,
not every single person is destined or should ever be a billionaire for some people becoming a billionaire may in fact kill them.
(20:48):
So why would that be what that person is supposed to sow?
And that,
and that person is supposed to reap besides the fact of it being some sort of vapid desire,
some sort of desire that upon it being filled is actually going to be the uh demise of that individual that has now become my ultimate fear.
(21:13):
Because I do see my,
my promises,
I do see my,
my desires.
I do see all my dreams kind of coming true.
And I am left to question if,
when they do come true,
were my dreams big enough?
Were my dreams just really a desire to have filled and it's to have scratched?
(21:40):
I don't know.
And II,
I really won't know.
Right.
I really won't know until they're fulfilled.
But I do have some perspective on this.
I do have a life that I've lived where I've had desires filled and when they're filled,
they do seem to go.
(22:02):
And so my ultimate thought today was,
well,
well,
what is it then?
What is it?
I'm supposed to sow.
And what is it?
I'm supposed to look for in the harvest.
It's clearly not the farmer mentality of I want an apple.
So I'm going to put a seed in the ground for an apple and get it because I am not ok with living that way of life that I want because,
(22:24):
yeah,
sure.
I want a billion dollars but I'm not ok with this same construct working for every single person and that being what they actually want.
I think this whole idea of that.
My,
it's just not,
it's not what everyone wants.
Everyone,
(22:45):
everyone doesn't want,
we,
they see it on the outside but that's maybe not what they want.
Everybody doesn't want pizza,
right?
Everybody doesn't want pizza.
The only reason why we feel like we want it so much is because inside of our bodies,
we put these trans fats,
right?
We put these things that end up causing the desires and they cause these cravings that are not truly essentially human beings.
(23:09):
We do not essentially crave hydrogenated soybean oil that's been frozen with a whole bunch of weird other ingredients to create a pizza.
We do not crave that.
That's not a real desire when that desire is filled,
it is just hurting us even more.
(23:31):
How much more are other dreamlike desires?
What about this whole thing with everybody trying to be a damn influencer?
Everybody's not meant to be an influencer.
Honey,
we're not,
we're not.
And I'll tell you one thing if you're not meant to be one and you,
and you go after that desire because you think that that's what you're supposed to have,
(23:53):
then your stomach is just going to hurt once you get it,
it's gonna be tiring,
it's gonna be hard,
it's gonna be really hard.
I have many,
many examples in my life where that has been difficult for me.
So what am I to look at?
(24:14):
What am I to look at?
What am I to look at that?
I'm going to be able to say,
OK,
this is what I this is what I am going to sow today.
So that this is what I'm going to reap my solution through this meditation.
So I had this meditation and I will,
I'll read it out for you.
OK?
(24:34):
So during this,
often during a meditation,
I'll ask God,
God,
give me a picture.
Give me a fiction.
Give me a story.
Give me,
give me the essence.
Give me,
give me,
show me,
show me this,
show me this in a movie,
right?
I want to see it within my head.
So what he showed me,
what he showed me was a very interesting message.
(24:57):
The image that I see was a beautiful woman,
much like the girl who I wanted to date.
She was in a spring dress,
her body moving as if with the gentle breeze in her arms,
she holds a basket and under the trees into the moss,
she drops her seeds,
only thinking of the life it will bring.
(25:19):
And when she walks back through and her fruit all sings in Thanksgiving as they give themselves to her,
for her to eat.
Now,
the biggest part of that poem that I really loved was,
you know,
I saw this woman in my head walking through the woods.
(25:39):
I saw this woman walking through the woods.
There's beautiful spring rolling down the river and or beautiful spring rolling down the spring.
And next to this little river is this mossy stuff.
And she's walking through this forest and she has this basket and she's dropping these seeds and everywhere she goes,
she's not sitting there thinking I need the apple,
(26:04):
I need the apple.
This woman out of the good of her heart is flowing through this jungle through this forest.
And the essence of her within the very essence of her.
It's as if the seeds fall out of her basket effortlessly into the right pocket of the earth.
(26:26):
And she is giving her greatest gift.
Her greatest gift is just gently walking through in grace and dropping her seeds with her.
And as she comes back through the forest,
the next season,
as she's done a full loop around the world,
I mean,
just imagine,
right?
(26:47):
Every single area has its different seasons.
So this woman has walked now she's traversed around the whole world this season.
The fall time is now back around and it's in America,
right?
It's in New York City.
She's,
it's fall time.
She's walking back around and her basket,
right,
her baskets now empty of seeds.
She's just walked for an entire year full of seeds and all those seeds are just spread out.
(27:12):
And as she gets back to this,
then she,
what does she do?
She's back in New York,
it's getting cold.
She sees all the leaves changing and there's apples hanging from the tree.
And all of a sudden in the pit of her stomach,
she has a grueling hunger and she starts to eat that apple.
As she eats that apple,
she begins to cry in just amazing gratitude because that apple,
(27:37):
that apple was her was was basically her child.
That apple is living its dream.
Its dream was to grow up and to give life to another being.
It's the tree from which it grows.
Its whole purpose was to grow up and to shine God's great,
(28:00):
brilliant light through it.
This woman walking through the forest,
her whole purpose was to shine God's love and drop her seeds through this forest.
And that's all she thought about.
She did not think about the most wonderful apple.
At the end of her circuit,
she did not think about when it's going to come.
(28:23):
She meditates and thinks day and night not on what it is I want.
She does not sit there and say I'm manifesting a Ferrari.
I'm manifesting a relationship.
I'm manifesting a desire to be filled within me.
She is stronger than that.
She is reaching out into the universe.
(28:44):
And she is saying,
Lord,
make me a channel of your peace.
Lord make me a channel of your light and of your love.
Lord make me a gift that gives to others that gives to others so that they see through my suffering,
through my journeys around this earth,
they see fruits that bring them life in that that woman when she she dies,
(29:10):
when she walks through,
when she goes through hardships,
do you think that woman is sad?
Do you think that woman is not fulfilled?
No,
that woman has everything that she needs because everything that she needs is a mere reflection of the gifts that she is giving out.
(29:31):
She is giving out her gifts and from that,
from her gifts come back to her.
Exactly.
Exactly.
The dreams that are congruent with what she is going to be able to love and cherish in her life.
So just imagine if you did that every single day for the next year that instead of positioning yourself on what you want on some desire,
(29:58):
some silly little desire being filled instead of doing that.
If every single morning,
you said,
how am I going to deliver my gifts?
God manifest in my life,
an area where I can deliver my gift today.
That is your quest at building this empire of self.
(30:18):
Lord,
what is it?
How is it that you can use me?
Universe,
whatever you wanna call this God.
How is it that you can use me to be a reflection of your great love of great life?
Because I want other people to tap into this life.
(30:41):
I want other people to feel this love because I have felt the suffering.
I have felt hell,
I have felt for years on end,
unable to be able to get out of my bed.
I have felt the fear of being able to walk into a grocery store and not being able to look at somebody in the eyes.
I have felt the fear of un able to be able to wake up and face the day and face my hardships and face my challenges and pay my bills to the point where I was ready to die.
(31:15):
And I have seen the light and the light does not come by asking for the next desire to be filled.
So don't let the rest of the world and these crazy little influencers fool you.
The true essence of life and love and the true sustainable and wonderful feelings comes when your gifts are giving to the world.
(31:40):
And then at that very moment that is when your harvest comes out,
that is when your reaping comes out.
That is when what you are truly meant for comes out.
And that's when that smile on your face,
billion dollars or not is there because you know that you're in your essence and you're in your truth.
(32:01):
That's all you need.
This stuff is so much more simple guys.
It such as stuff is so much more simple than it seems.
If,
if,
if if I'm concentrating on,
on my desire,
I almost don't even know what I need to put in the ground.
If I'm concentrating so much on getting a billion dollars.
What's my next step today?
(32:23):
It's hard,
man.
You don't know,
it's hard.
You gotta go listen to somebody like Grant Cardone,
start walking in his steps.
But here's the thing,
man,
you walk in his steps,
then you're gonna be where he's at and he's not a happy person.
Yeah,
why do you want to be there?
You know,
why would you want to be there?
Ask yourself that?
(32:44):
Ask yourself that.
Really?
Are you following a lie or are you following a truth?
Now,
follow those things have fun with them.
You know,
if you can find a way to start following those things and treat them as such as just projects of,
of fun,
you know,
I'm gonna go make a billion dollars for instance.
(33:05):
And then I'm going to use that.
I'm going to give it right back to God.
I'm going to give it right back to those suffering and those struggling go do that,
go,
do that,
go do that,
go use your gifts,
make a billion dollars and give that energy right back just like the trees of the earth do.
But I guarantee you,
I have a feeling that's where that whole concept.
(33:26):
It's harder to walk through heaven with a whole bunch of money than the eye of a needle for a camel.
I have a feeling it's a lot like that.
You know,
I can't imagine,
I can't imagine having a billion dollars and be like,
all right,
never mind.
Here you go.
Right.
Can you imagine that?
So,
I just want to caution you be careful about what you wish for,
(33:46):
right?
Because as it becomes true,
you may get trapped in it,
you may get stuck in it.
But luckily for everybody who follows this podcast,
that is what I talk about and that is becoming unstuck,
that is building up this empire of self and then being able to recognize with and we need to make some changes here.
(34:06):
So even if that's that you built a fortress of a billion dollars or you've built a fortress of homelessness,
let's get unstuck.
Let's find out where we're supposed to be.
Let's find out how this,
how this uh empire of self needs to be represented to the world.
And let's do it because when I,
if I can help you be the best,
(34:26):
you and have the best empire of self,
then I can help this world be a better place.
So,
tune in next time,
sign up,
log on to pod bean and please support the mission of Empire Self and me trying to help other people by um what,
what do you do?
You kind of like donate or something?
(34:47):
It could be helpful.
But anyway,
I love you guys.
I'm gonna keep doing this So I am over and out.
This is Mark a turnip seed with Empire Self Podcast.
All right,
everybody.
Right on.
All right.
All right,
everybody.
Welcome to the Empire Self podcast.
This is Mark a turnip seed and I am happy to be your host today.
I'm happy to be talking about some of those little itty bitty things that we have in our lives that are holding us back from being the best self that we want to be from having the empire of self that we're comfortable inside of our own skin.
(00:25):
We're comfortable with sharing the person who's with inside of our skin with the rest of the world and a place that eventually as we exude our comfort and our security and confidence with ourselves that people outside of us also begin to look at us as a place of security and comfort and magic and a place where they can come and experience life and love and a place that they can depend on.
(00:53):
This is my ultimate goal with this podcast is to help you to create,
to craft and create the life that you want to live,
that you feel comfortable about being inside of.
Because inside of this life,
right inside of this great magical,
wonderful life we look out and we see this world,
we see this world with so much beauty and yet how often,
(01:20):
how often do you look back inside and it's just crushed,
it's just crushed because you see outside it being this perfect,
beautiful world.
And you go,
why God,
why do I not feel like other people feel?
Why do I also feel the pain?
(01:41):
Why do I have these desires and these,
these,
these,
these,
these dreams that seem different from other people and they,
and they don't seem as great and they,
and they,
and they,
they might even be a little bit off from what I even believe in.
Like,
why,
why am I here?
Just not perfect when I look outside and I see everything that is perfect.
(02:06):
Well,
I have news for you all.
Everything out there is not perfect.
Everything out there,
including the most beautiful thing that you can imagine.
Maybe that's snow falling from the falling from the sky.
Snow is a representation of winter where everything is,
is died,
everything has died.
Everything is,
(02:27):
is now is it's,
it's going through a hibernation.
Everything has slowed down so much that it doesn't even know at that point.
It's so unconscious that it may not even know that it's gonna come out for the next season.
That's the truth about winter.
We look at a whole bunch of trees in a forest and we see them and we see them as these beautiful green,
(02:49):
gorgeous trees.
Oh,
man,
a tree must have the most wonderful life.
And inside of that tree,
it aches and pains.
Each time the wind blows,
it creaks throughout the forest and makes a little cloud groan as it aches towards the sky.
Wishing that it could have a little bit more light,
wishing that it could have a little bit more water.
(03:11):
This tree that we are on looking,
wishing that we could have a life as simple as it is also inside of the suffering.
It is also inside of the pain that is life.
But the difference between the tree and you is that the tree knows this as an elemental truth.
(03:32):
The tree holds on to this and the tree uses this to express their brilliance as the tree begins to go through the changes of fall time.
And the and the and the sun starts to be at a different tilt at a different angle.
And it's not able to gather in as much energy that it needs to support all of its leaves.
(03:53):
The tree instead of giving us a horrible meager dis display of death.
It shines brighter than it ever did before with brilliant colors as if it's waving goodbye and saying,
praise God for the suffering that I am going through.
(04:16):
And I am going to use this suffering to bring the greatest joy and the greatest light that this planet can know from me.
It's going to see the change of the seasons I'm going to be a display of how God can take something that is exuding light that is giving off air that is getting off oxygen.
(04:37):
I am going to be able to take that and I'm going to be able to,
you know,
I'm going to be able to let go of it.
And I'm going to show everybody in the world that by shrugging my leaves and by going dormant as God would have me to be that I am going to emerge the next season,
so bright and so brilliant because this tree knows this tree knows that it's not the simple little desires that are within it.
(05:05):
It's not the simple little desires and thirsts that it has for sun or for,
for rain that is really going to actually give it its greatest joy.
So what then what then is the greatest joy?
What is the greatest joy that we should be seeking in this world?
How,
how,
(05:25):
why is it that we look out there and we go man.
I am just not near as beautiful as this tree and yet that tree is probably looking back.
And what is it saying?
It's probably saying that is the most beautiful thing of God's creation.
And what am I going to want to do?
I want to give that part of God's creation.
(05:48):
I wanna give that human being a brilliant display on my last few moments on this earth.
I wanna give this human a brilliant display.
I wanna give these animals a brilliant display.
I wanna give the rocks a brilliant display.
I wanna give my other tree friends a brilliant display in my very last moment of God's great existence and great life.
(06:16):
What I'm getting at here and what I'm starting to appreciate more and more is that we are able to craft within us,
an ability to see the things that we might otherwise feel are grave darkness or great weaknesses within us.
And we can start to look at them and start to see them as positives.
(06:37):
We can start to shine them as our great as gifts.
Now,
some of us may not be very happy with the gifts that we've been given.
Sometimes I remember growing up,
I was always looking over at my brother and always envious of why can he read better?
Why can he do math better?
My dad was an engineer,
right?
(06:57):
My dad was an engineer.
So I always wanted to please my dad.
Well,
we would sit down for math homework every night and not every night,
but we would sit down for math homework and my brother would get the,
get the questions and my dad would,
you know,
congratulate him for it and I would be getting them all wrong.
So it made me feel very much so like my gifts were unworthy that my gifts and this is not my father's fault.
(07:21):
This is not my brother's fault.
Either this is just the way that I believe that some people are born.
And if you're like me,
then you're probably listening to this podcast,
you might listen to one or two episodes,
you might even keep on listening and keep on listening because we have a lot in common.
And if that's the case,
then that's wonderful.
And I encourage you if we have that much in common,
(07:42):
start to share it yourself because that is in essence,
what this whole episode is going to be about is that when I really truly recognize my gifts,
the ushering out of those gifts becomes more gratifying,
more satisfying and way more sustainable and way more exciting to fulfill than my greatest desires.
(08:09):
But to get to that point,
we're going to have to go dive deep back into that childhood thought when I'm not enough.
And I'm sitting here and I'm thinking my brother's got the gifts that are making my father proud.
And I don't,
I begin to get jealous.
I begin to say,
I wish I had those gifts.
I wish I could have those gifts.
(08:29):
And then I become focused on not on what are the next gifts that I have or what are the gifts that I have that I'm going to be able to bring to the table.
But instead I start thinking more so on the desire,
the effect of and what I want from whatever I'm,
whatever it is I'm doing from my math problem,
for instance.
(08:50):
So there I'm thinking my desire as a child,
my desire is my father's approval.
And ultimately,
what becomes my fixation is not on my gift anymore.
My ultimate fixation has now become on my desire being fulfilled.
Now,
this is a very,
very natural thing.
It happens very early on in childhood and it will continue on through the rest of my life.
(09:17):
And I do recognize this and there's something to be said for that.
There's a way to use that,
right?
When you see somebody else who has a wonderful gift that you envy,
the way is not to start envying,
the way is to celebrate their gifts.
And the way is to not be envious but to ask for ways to collaborate and,
(09:37):
and see if you can use your gifts to bring a bigger piece of the puzzle together,
to help solve something to help make this world a better place.
That's a much better way of looking at your gifts than if you see somebody with something better and you go man,
I wish that I could have that.
I wish that I could be able to do that or I mean,
(09:57):
we can even talk about those as being the things that they get,
right?
The money,
the cards,
the spouse,
like what,
what is it?
You know,
what is it,
is that,
is that the desire or is that a reflection of a gift?
I do believe in most cases,
more often than not,
(10:18):
that the true satisfied individual is not going to have the gifts of their desires fulfilled.
And the reason why I know this is because I have had the gifts of my desires filled.
I've had the gifts of my desires filled many,
(10:39):
many times.
But for some reason,
every time that I have the gift of my desire filled,
I wake up feeling hungry again,
every single time,
every single freaking time that I eat a really,
really good meal,
I wake up feeling hungry again.
Every single time,
(11:01):
every single time.
Sometimes I wake up feeling sick because I ate so much trying to satisfy that desire that I woke up feeling sick,
so sick that now I couldn't satisfy any desires.
So sick that I've now taken myself out of life.
That's how much I chased that desire.
That's how much I fulfilled that desire desires.
(11:25):
It seems like with me when I chase them and I run after them,
they become fulfilled.
And then I am left hungry,
thirsty and wanting more.
I'm left with this sense of where did it go.
It's as,
(11:45):
it's as if it's as if desires when they're fulfilled are just like dust in the wind or even better,
just like gas floating out into outer space.
They really seem to be something that is,
that is not of the true essence of what it means to be a human being.
(12:08):
And I'm sick of it.
Honestly,
I'm just,
I'm just rather sick of it.
I'm rather sick of waking up every morning and just being like food,
money,
sex,
you know,
security,
desire and,
and,
and,
and,
and from those,
so those are actual needs,
but from those,
the desires start to start to weigh in on every decision that I'm making.
(12:33):
So those desires that the desires for food,
sex,
uh,
money,
security,
all of that stuff,
the desires for that is very natural and it's very good and it's very much so there and we need that to survive those types of things.
We need those desires if we don't have them,
if we don't have a reason to search for them,
(12:53):
then ultimately,
I mean,
I guess we would end up with nothing,
right?
I,
well,
actually when it starts to boil down and I really start to talk about this,
is it really that bad to end up with nothing?
I don't,
I don't really know.
That's a thought experiment that would take more of a Socratic dialogue with a discussion with somebody that I would love to have eventually.
(13:14):
So with that being said,
you know,
if you are interested in ever popping on the Empire Self podcast,
then please email me over a resume and I am looking for a co-host to pop on to this and talk about all those little things that we do or don't do that's holding us back from being our best self.
(13:35):
So if these desires,
right?
If these desires,
if I,
if I don't chase any of them,
then I end up with nothing.
And if that's,
you know,
a negative thing or a positive thing,
that's something for a much bigger philosophical discussion.
But what I will say right now is that the um the ultimate end product of my experience of chasing my desires has left me feeling oftentimes like it's rather empty like I finish and I'm,
(14:10):
I'm full,
right.
A desire you finish and you're full in a sense.
At that point,
the desire becomes almost a repulsion.
And that,
that has always been a very curious thing to me.
And in sex,
it's an extremely strong feeling and in food,
it's an extremely strong feeling in money.
(14:31):
I don't know,
I've never had so much money that I,
that I,
that I start to feel sick.
But I,
I do hear from in some of my circles,
I hear from people who say I built up this huge wealth of fortune thinking that it was going to satisfy and that it doesn't.
And that leads me to believe that it's just like one of these other desires.
(14:54):
And I can choose,
I can choose very much so to spend my life chasing after them.
If,
if,
if I want to.
Now I,
you know,
there's this,
there's this,
uh,
there's a curious thing that,
you know,
goes along in the,
in the Christian faith in particular that I know how to speak about.
And this probably happens in many other religions as well.
But they talk about what you sow is what you reap,
(15:17):
what you sow is what you reap.
Basically,
that means what you put into the ground as a seed is what you're going to reap as in the harvest,
what you put into the ground as a seed and what you continue to put in the ground as nourishment for that seed is ultimately going to influence what you are able to reap during the harvest come the fall time.
(15:42):
So if that's the case,
if we look at that on more of the psychological level than what we,
what we sow what we put into our thought bucket,
what we put into our thought garden and what we continue to pour water over what we continue to nourish with our relationships with our,
with our actions,
with everything.
If we,
if we have these thoughts and these focuses,
(16:03):
then they are going to lead to what to a harvest of some sort,
everything,
everything that we put in to any sort of bucket.
May it be a thought bucket or may it be a garden?
It's going to lead us to some sort of harvest.
May it be a negative thought?
May it be a positive thought?
(16:24):
May it be a positive goal with a whole bunch of negative thoughts?
That's one example of a reap and harvest,
right?
Is that we go in and we start to sow a whole bunch of great seeds with a whole bunch of great goals.
We have this apple that's supposed to be the greatest apple known to man.
(16:47):
And it is just the most amazing apple.
We put it in and we don't water it or we water it with Gatorade.
What have you watered a,
a,
a AAA an apple tree with Gatorade?
Do you think it's going to end up reaping?
Do you think in the next year and the next harvest season that you're going to be able to reap the greatest apple known to man?
(17:07):
I highly doubt that you're going to,
it could be a,
be a science experiment,
but I highly doubt that you're going to end up being able to reap exactly what you are trying to shoot for in the first place.
Now,
the curious thing about that statement though,
what you sow and what you reap is actually a point of contention for me.
(17:27):
I actually want to challenge it a little bit because because the in ess,
in essence,
the you at play in my life right now is,
is thinking about what I sow is what I reap.
So thinking about what I do is going to get me what I want,
what I sow and what I reap is a very desire specific,
(17:48):
it's a very ego specific statement.
And as I was sitting in church today,
it made me a little bit sick.
I started to think how many people are out here in this audience thinking,
what do I need to do next to get?
What I think I should have in the desire,
in the desire world of the Kingdom of God.
(18:10):
What do I need to give?
What do I need to give?
What,
what,
what type of good thoughts do I need to have?
What type of,
what type of bad thoughts do I need to avoid?
What type of,
what type of good seeds do I need to plant so that I can get my Ferrari or my money or,
or,
or this or that or the other.
Now,
(18:30):
what I see here,
what I see here,
what the issue is is that it's an egocentric and it's a very small,
you know,
vision scape.
Now,
I know that this is not the case for everybody.
I know that everybody doesn't see this as such,
but I certainly saw this as such my entire life.
And I think that part of me has,
you know,
not enjoyed the whole idea Christianity very much so because in essence,
(18:56):
there,
there,
it seems like what they're saying is what you do is with,
with God is,
is going to make you wealthy and rich and happy and fulfilled with a big American dream family.
And there's something there just just seems broken to me.
It just doesn't seem right.
And I've always had an issue with it.
(19:17):
Why,
why,
why is this the case?
Well,
I got to thinking in my life,
I don't know if this,
if this is actually practical.
I started thinking about all like the new age like manifestation stuff you know that I talk about and the other energy workers out there talk about and other teachers explain is that if you put good thoughts in,
(19:40):
then you get good things.
So you manifest,
you start dreaming about a billion dollars,
right?
You start really projecting in every single action that you do.
I took a grant Cardone class,
for instance,
I took a grant Cardone class that said if you want a million dollars in three months,
then what you do is you focus on that goal and and you sow all the seeds every single day,
(20:02):
you're just sowing seeds to get there,
you're going to get there.
That is very true.
Grant Cardone.
It's very,
very true.
You are going to get there my issue with this and that is a very Christian based understanding,
right?
If I sow those seeds,
I'm going to get there.
And another Christian way of taking that,
right?
If I sow those seeds and get there,
(20:23):
then I take that and I,
I bring it for the glory of God,
right?
It is a wonderful,
beautiful um transcription and then,
and it's a wonderful way of living life.
Unfortunately,
it's not a sustainable and it's not a one size fits all because not everybody in the kingdom of God,
not every single person is destined or should ever be a billionaire for some people becoming a billionaire may in fact kill them.
(20:48):
So why would that be what that person is supposed to sow?
And that,
and that person is supposed to reap besides the fact of it being some sort of vapid desire,
some sort of desire that upon it being filled is actually going to be the uh demise of that individual that has now become my ultimate fear.
(21:13):
Because I do see my,
my promises,
I do see my,
my desires.
I do see all my dreams kind of coming true.
And I am left to question if,
when they do come true,
were my dreams big enough?
Were my dreams just really a desire to have filled and it's to have scratched?
(21:40):
I don't know.
And II,
I really won't know.
Right.
I really won't know until they're fulfilled.
But I do have some perspective on this.
I do have a life that I've lived where I've had desires filled and when they're filled,
they do seem to go.
(22:02):
And so my ultimate thought today was,
well,
well,
what is it then?
What is it?
I'm supposed to sow.
And what is it?
I'm supposed to look for in the harvest.
It's clearly not the farmer mentality of I want an apple.
So I'm going to put a seed in the ground for an apple and get it because I am not ok with living that way of life that I want because,
(22:24):
yeah,
sure.
I want a billion dollars but I'm not ok with this same construct working for every single person and that being what they actually want.
I think this whole idea of that.
My,
it's just not,
it's not what everyone wants.
Everyone,
(22:45):
everyone doesn't want,
we,
they see it on the outside but that's maybe not what they want.
Everybody doesn't want pizza,
right?
Everybody doesn't want pizza.
The only reason why we feel like we want it so much is because inside of our bodies,
we put these trans fats,
right?
We put these things that end up causing the desires and they cause these cravings that are not truly essentially human beings.
(23:09):
We do not essentially crave hydrogenated soybean oil that's been frozen with a whole bunch of weird other ingredients to create a pizza.
We do not crave that.
That's not a real desire when that desire is filled,
it is just hurting us even more.
(23:31):
How much more are other dreamlike desires?
What about this whole thing with everybody trying to be a damn influencer?
Everybody's not meant to be an influencer.
Honey,
we're not,
we're not.
And I'll tell you one thing if you're not meant to be one and you,
and you go after that desire because you think that that's what you're supposed to have,
(23:53):
then your stomach is just going to hurt once you get it,
it's gonna be tiring,
it's gonna be hard,
it's gonna be really hard.
I have many,
many examples in my life where that has been difficult for me.
So what am I to look at?
(24:14):
What am I to look at?
What am I to look at that?
I'm going to be able to say,
OK,
this is what I this is what I am going to sow today.
So that this is what I'm going to reap my solution through this meditation.
So I had this meditation and I will,
I'll read it out for you.
OK?
(24:34):
So during this,
often during a meditation,
I'll ask God,
God,
give me a picture.
Give me a fiction.
Give me a story.
Give me,
give me the essence.
Give me,
give me,
show me,
show me this,
show me this in a movie,
right?
I want to see it within my head.
So what he showed me,
what he showed me was a very interesting message.
(24:57):
The image that I see was a beautiful woman,
much like the girl who I wanted to date.
She was in a spring dress,
her body moving as if with the gentle breeze in her arms,
she holds a basket and under the trees into the moss,
she drops her seeds,
only thinking of the life it will bring.
(25:19):
And when she walks back through and her fruit all sings in Thanksgiving as they give themselves to her,
for her to eat.
Now,
the biggest part of that poem that I really loved was,
you know,
I saw this woman in my head walking through the woods.
(25:39):
I saw this woman walking through the woods.
There's beautiful spring rolling down the river and or beautiful spring rolling down the spring.
And next to this little river is this mossy stuff.
And she's walking through this forest and she has this basket and she's dropping these seeds and everywhere she goes,
she's not sitting there thinking I need the apple,
(26:04):
I need the apple.
This woman out of the good of her heart is flowing through this jungle through this forest.
And the essence of her within the very essence of her.
It's as if the seeds fall out of her basket effortlessly into the right pocket of the earth.
(26:26):
And she is giving her greatest gift.
Her greatest gift is just gently walking through in grace and dropping her seeds with her.
And as she comes back through the forest,
the next season,
as she's done a full loop around the world,
I mean,
just imagine,
right?
(26:47):
Every single area has its different seasons.
So this woman has walked now she's traversed around the whole world this season.
The fall time is now back around and it's in America,
right?
It's in New York City.
She's,
it's fall time.
She's walking back around and her basket,
right,
her baskets now empty of seeds.
She's just walked for an entire year full of seeds and all those seeds are just spread out.
(27:12):
And as she gets back to this,
then she,
what does she do?
She's back in New York,
it's getting cold.
She sees all the leaves changing and there's apples hanging from the tree.
And all of a sudden in the pit of her stomach,
she has a grueling hunger and she starts to eat that apple.
As she eats that apple,
she begins to cry in just amazing gratitude because that apple,
(27:37):
that apple was her was was basically her child.
That apple is living its dream.
Its dream was to grow up and to give life to another being.
It's the tree from which it grows.
Its whole purpose was to grow up and to shine God's great,
(28:00):
brilliant light through it.
This woman walking through the forest,
her whole purpose was to shine God's love and drop her seeds through this forest.
And that's all she thought about.
She did not think about the most wonderful apple.
At the end of her circuit,
she did not think about when it's going to come.
(28:23):
She meditates and thinks day and night not on what it is I want.
She does not sit there and say I'm manifesting a Ferrari.
I'm manifesting a relationship.
I'm manifesting a desire to be filled within me.
She is stronger than that.
She is reaching out into the universe.
(28:44):
And she is saying,
Lord,
make me a channel of your peace.
Lord make me a channel of your light and of your love.
Lord make me a gift that gives to others that gives to others so that they see through my suffering,
through my journeys around this earth,
they see fruits that bring them life in that that woman when she she dies,
(29:10):
when she walks through,
when she goes through hardships,
do you think that woman is sad?
Do you think that woman is not fulfilled?
No,
that woman has everything that she needs because everything that she needs is a mere reflection of the gifts that she is giving out.
(29:31):
She is giving out her gifts and from that,
from her gifts come back to her.
Exactly.
Exactly.
The dreams that are congruent with what she is going to be able to love and cherish in her life.
So just imagine if you did that every single day for the next year that instead of positioning yourself on what you want on some desire,
(29:58):
some silly little desire being filled instead of doing that.
If every single morning,
you said,
how am I going to deliver my gifts?
God manifest in my life,
an area where I can deliver my gift today.
That is your quest at building this empire of self.
(30:18):
Lord,
what is it?
How is it that you can use me?
Universe,
whatever you wanna call this God.
How is it that you can use me to be a reflection of your great love of great life?
Because I want other people to tap into this life.
(30:41):
I want other people to feel this love because I have felt the suffering.
I have felt hell,
I have felt for years on end,
unable to be able to get out of my bed.
I have felt the fear of being able to walk into a grocery store and not being able to look at somebody in the eyes.
I have felt the fear of un able to be able to wake up and face the day and face my hardships and face my challenges and pay my bills to the point where I was ready to die.
(31:15):
And I have seen the light and the light does not come by asking for the next desire to be filled.
So don't let the rest of the world and these crazy little influencers fool you.
The true essence of life and love and the true sustainable and wonderful feelings comes when your gifts are giving to the world.
(31:40):
And then at that very moment that is when your harvest comes out,
that is when your reaping comes out.
That is when what you are truly meant for comes out.
And that's when that smile on your face,
billion dollars or not is there because you know that you're in your essence and you're in your truth.
(32:01):
That's all you need.
This stuff is so much more simple guys.
It such as stuff is so much more simple than it seems.
If,
if,
if if I'm concentrating on,
on my desire,
I almost don't even know what I need to put in the ground.
If I'm concentrating so much on getting a billion dollars.
What's my next step today?
(32:23):
It's hard,
man.
You don't know,
it's hard.
You gotta go listen to somebody like Grant Cardone,
start walking in his steps.
But here's the thing,
man,
you walk in his steps,
then you're gonna be where he's at and he's not a happy person.
Yeah,
why do you want to be there?
You know,
why would you want to be there?
Ask yourself that?
(32:44):
Ask yourself that.
Really?
Are you following a lie or are you following a truth?
Now,
follow those things have fun with them.
You know,
if you can find a way to start following those things and treat them as such as just projects of,
of fun,
you know,
I'm gonna go make a billion dollars for instance.
(33:05):
And then I'm going to use that.
I'm going to give it right back to God.
I'm going to give it right back to those suffering and those struggling go do that,
go,
do that,
go do that,
go use your gifts,
make a billion dollars and give that energy right back just like the trees of the earth do.
But I guarantee you,
I have a feeling that's where that whole concept.
(33:26):
It's harder to walk through heaven with a whole bunch of money than the eye of a needle for a camel.
I have a feeling it's a lot like that.
You know,
I can't imagine,
I can't imagine having a billion dollars and be like,
all right,
never mind.
Here you go.
Right.
Can you imagine that?
So,
I just want to caution you be careful about what you wish for,
(33:46):
right?
Because as it becomes true,
you may get trapped in it,
you may get stuck in it.
But luckily for everybody who follows this podcast,
that is what I talk about and that is becoming unstuck,
that is building up this empire of self and then being able to recognize with and we need to make some changes here.
(34:06):
So even if that's that you built a fortress of a billion dollars or you've built a fortress of homelessness,
let's get unstuck.
Let's find out where we're supposed to be.
Let's find out how this,
how this uh empire of self needs to be represented to the world.
And let's do it because when I,
if I can help you be the best,
(34:26):
you and have the best empire of self,
then I can help this world be a better place.
So,
tune in next time,
sign up,
log on to pod bean and please support the mission of Empire Self and me trying to help other people by um what,
what do you do?
You kind of like donate or something?
(34:47):
It could be helpful.
But anyway,
I love you guys.
I'm gonna keep doing this So I am over and out.
This is Mark a turnip seed with Empire Self Podcast.
All right,
everybody.
Right on.
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