September 6, 2023 • 11 mins
Hosted by Mark A Turnipseed, this captivating journey of self-exploration takes you through Mark's personal struggles with embedded narcissism and the self-defensive walls it constructs.
Join as Mark unravels the remarkable potential of cultivating kindness as the key to liberation. Discover how he liberated himself from the clutches of narcissism and, in turn, empowered himself to effect positive change in the world. Each episode is a step towards understanding, healing, and making the world a better place, one compassionate act at a time.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome to the Empire Self podcast.
I am your host,
Mark a turnip seed,
middle name is Adams and I am here to talk about how I have found many different ways to build up what I believe to be an empire of self,
a place where I am confident,
controlled,
(00:21):
comfortable and I feel secure.
And I want to admit that I am not always in that space.
The space is not a natural space,
it's not a space that I,
that I wake up in.
Right?
It's a space that I strive to be throughout the day.
I make a decision when I first wake up and I go,
(00:43):
what is an empire to me?
And how am I going to be that an empire to me is a place that I can depend on.
It's a place that I can come to after a full day of,
you know,
working out and,
or exploring out into the never world,
right?
It's a place where I can depend on no matter what I,
no matter what chaos I end up in,
(01:05):
in my,
in my day to day.
It's a place that I can depend on no matter what anybody says to me,
it's a place where I'm,
where I'm confident about.
I know what I'm going to get when I go back to it.
It's a place that when I turn off all my devices,
when I turn off my phone,
when I turn off my computer,
(01:25):
when I don't have my TV,
when the power goes out,
it's a place where I know that I'm gonna be better than OK,
inside alone with myself.
This is a place everybody,
this is a place that I feared most in my life,
being alone with myself.
And still to this day,
(01:46):
it can become a challenge.
I can find myself out of sync for weeks on end.
And I'll go,
I,
I start to do develop fear and then a moment comes when I recognize,
oh,
wait,
I'm gonna have to be alone with myself here in a moment.
What am I going to do?
For instance,
I just got off a 40 day road trip.
And after that 40 day road trip,
being with somebody every single moment,
(02:08):
then I was all of a sudden back home,
back alone in my thoughts,
alone in my room before going to bed.
It's a,
it,
it was a nerve wracking situation for me.
And actually at that same time,
for some reason,
I decided that I would move the,
my TV,
out of my bedroom.
So then I didn't even have my TV in my bedroom and it caused a lot of panic in me and when it caused that panic,
(02:33):
I recognized the issue that was at play.
Right.
The issue was that I had not been tending to my empire,
my empire of self was not a place of comfort.
I was not comfortable being alone inside of my own skin inside of my own head.
If that's the case,
then you've got to find a way to find that comfort because that place is the only place really that we can actually depend on in this life.
(03:02):
And if we don't have that place to go back to,
then where are we going to go when shit hits the fan.
So over the past few years,
that's really kind of where all my teachings where all my understandings where all my learnings have,
have boiled into is that within us is that full power?
(03:24):
Now,
every single morning,
when I wake up,
the number one thing I think that holds me back is narcissism is a proclivity into narcissistic thought and behavior and action.
The very first thing that I wake up in the morning,
I'm II,
I don't really want to wake up.
I also,
(03:44):
I don't really want to do any work that's not directly related to my desires and my appetite,
right?
I don't want to do this podcast necessarily like I've got,
I've got to get myself in the rhythm in order so that I can move into the stuff that I'm actually passionate about.
(04:07):
It's like I gotta break through some weird,
you know,
desire based,
want greed type narcissism,
escape that and escape trying to control people and control,
you know,
everything in life,
from traffic to the weather,
to getting mad at everything and just being all like,
(04:28):
oh,
this is ruining my day.
Me,
me,
me type of stuff into a different type of dialogue with my morning,
you know,
and that different type of dialogue for my morning is generally something along the lines of,
I mean,
this is the most creative I can get it in,
in,
in,
in those moments is generally just right along the lines of God,
(04:51):
help me to have new thoughts this morning,
help me to start to shift these thoughts because I will,
I will wake up and I have this internal it's like bang almost when III I get up and,
and the first thing starts going a little bit wrong,
right?
It's like my coffee pot or something is,
(05:12):
is just off a little bit and right when that starts happening,
I,
I freak out inside.
I,
I I've learned now to,
you know,
at least just hold it inside and when I do start freaking out and it starts to bubble up and I go,
oh my God.
Here comes that dreadful,
dreadful,
like pang of anxiety and dread and just,
(05:33):
just absolute like I'm going to throw this coffee maker because it's not performing how I want it to perform and it's this rage that builds up inside.
Iii I really can't explain it more than that,
but it builds up inside and where it used to out,
you know,
have to go out,
it would have to have some sort of outlet I'm finding now that now that my,
(05:57):
now that I'm comfortable within the walls of my home,
I'm finding out now that I can also direct the traffic of the different lights of the different electrical currents of my home.
And if I'm starting to build up that rage,
I can actually intercept that electrical current and I can keep that switch from being turned on.
I can keep that light from being turned on.
(06:19):
It's this chemical process.
It's this understanding that in between the moment of feeling and the moment of action is where the magic happens because the feeling is a beautiful feeling.
The feeling is something that needs to happen.
When that,
when that feeling of rage comes up,
it is a beautifully divine moment to practice letting go.
(06:40):
And when,
when you can,
when,
when I recognized that I could interrupt that process,
that this was a home that this was that this what I'm inside of is a home.
It is a body,
it is an empire.
When I recognized that I could control all the very little elements inside of it that were working together to create the city or create the body or create the experience of life that I was living,
(07:06):
that I recognized that I no longer had to behave out any of the symptomatic narcissistic tendencies that I had.
And that I know a lot of people have out there because this is the age of narcissism.
Every single moment is just compare yourself to others,
(07:28):
compare yourself to others,
compare yourself to others.
Look at me,
look at me,
look at me.
If you don't say you have narcissism,
it's,
it's,
it's,
it's,
it's,
it's,
that's kind of a problem,
right?
So how can we direct it?
How can we direct it into good?
Well,
let's become masters of ourselves.
Then if we're gonna be narcissist,
just become a master narcissist.
(07:49):
Be able to control what's going on your body inside of your mind,
inside of your actions,
love yourself so much,
worship.
It just absolutely just love it so much because it has been given to you.
This body has been given to you.
This mind has been given to you.
This heart has been given to you so that you can experience and have the most thrilling,
(08:13):
thriving and giving back life and it can be so very,
very fulfilling.
But not if you become slave to the kind of like sub threshold,
undertow of life,
the undertow of where narcissism can take you,
(08:33):
where you start battling everything where you start trying to get mine,
get mine,
get mine.
Oh my,
my carers worry.
My carries are,
are so much more important than anybody else's.
Oh,
wait,
I've got to be first in traffic line.
I've got to be first.
I've got,
I've,
if I'm late,
if I'm like,
shut up quiet that none of that thinking has to occur,
(08:58):
you can be a lovely,
beautiful person and very self involved.
Just like that.
You can still be very self involved and you can treat yourself and others with uttermost respect and kindness by interrupting that process,
by stopping that type of chatter by learning how,
(09:19):
what I believe is to be the narcissist guide to kindness is really just developing a pause between the synapses that create the,
the rage and the outburst in which our narcissism and our love of self is now stomping and destroying other people that we love or that we otherwise could love.
(09:45):
That's my hope for everybody is that we,
we come around to all of this stuff and don't relate to hardly any of it that you find an access point somewhere in it where you can just feel more love and give more love.
(10:05):
Because when,
when you can find a way to just give 1% more love,
1% more bit of kindness or going the extra mile,
just 1% throughout your day,
I guarantee you as that practice becomes more paramount in your life,
your life will improve 100% maybe 50%.
(10:28):
But that's a pretty darn good improvement,
especially if we talk about like compounding interest and investing 50% more effort into our lives.
If it's really,
if all we have to do is invest 1% different change and we get a 50% return.
I'm going to do that.
(10:50):
So,
anyway,
thank you for joining me today on Empire Self Podcast.
I'm Mark Turnip.
See your host.
Have a wonderful blessed day.
(11:13):
Yeah.
All right.
Let's ride.
Welcome to the Empire Self podcast.
I am your host,
Mark a turnip seed,
middle name is Adams and I am here to talk about how I have found many different ways to build up what I believe to be an empire of self,
a place where I am confident,
controlled,
(00:21):
comfortable and I feel secure.
And I want to admit that I am not always in that space.
The space is not a natural space,
it's not a space that I,
that I wake up in.
Right?
It's a space that I strive to be throughout the day.
I make a decision when I first wake up and I go,
(00:43):
what is an empire to me?
And how am I going to be that an empire to me is a place that I can depend on.
It's a place that I can come to after a full day of,
you know,
working out and,
or exploring out into the never world,
right?
It's a place where I can depend on no matter what I,
no matter what chaos I end up in,
(01:05):
in my,
in my day to day.
It's a place that I can depend on no matter what anybody says to me,
it's a place where I'm,
where I'm confident about.
I know what I'm going to get when I go back to it.
It's a place that when I turn off all my devices,
when I turn off my phone,
when I turn off my computer,
(01:25):
when I don't have my TV,
when the power goes out,
it's a place where I know that I'm gonna be better than OK,
inside alone with myself.
This is a place everybody,
this is a place that I feared most in my life,
being alone with myself.
And still to this day,
(01:46):
it can become a challenge.
I can find myself out of sync for weeks on end.
And I'll go,
I,
I start to do develop fear and then a moment comes when I recognize,
oh,
wait,
I'm gonna have to be alone with myself here in a moment.
What am I going to do?
For instance,
I just got off a 40 day road trip.
And after that 40 day road trip,
being with somebody every single moment,
(02:08):
then I was all of a sudden back home,
back alone in my thoughts,
alone in my room before going to bed.
It's a,
it,
it was a nerve wracking situation for me.
And actually at that same time,
for some reason,
I decided that I would move the,
my TV,
out of my bedroom.
So then I didn't even have my TV in my bedroom and it caused a lot of panic in me and when it caused that panic,
(02:33):
I recognized the issue that was at play.
Right.
The issue was that I had not been tending to my empire,
my empire of self was not a place of comfort.
I was not comfortable being alone inside of my own skin inside of my own head.
If that's the case,
then you've got to find a way to find that comfort because that place is the only place really that we can actually depend on in this life.
(03:02):
And if we don't have that place to go back to,
then where are we going to go when shit hits the fan.
So over the past few years,
that's really kind of where all my teachings where all my understandings where all my learnings have,
have boiled into is that within us is that full power?
(03:24):
Now,
every single morning,
when I wake up,
the number one thing I think that holds me back is narcissism is a proclivity into narcissistic thought and behavior and action.
The very first thing that I wake up in the morning,
I'm II,
I don't really want to wake up.
I also,
(03:44):
I don't really want to do any work that's not directly related to my desires and my appetite,
right?
I don't want to do this podcast necessarily like I've got,
I've got to get myself in the rhythm in order so that I can move into the stuff that I'm actually passionate about.
(04:07):
It's like I gotta break through some weird,
you know,
desire based,
want greed type narcissism,
escape that and escape trying to control people and control,
you know,
everything in life,
from traffic to the weather,
to getting mad at everything and just being all like,
(04:28):
oh,
this is ruining my day.
Me,
me,
me type of stuff into a different type of dialogue with my morning,
you know,
and that different type of dialogue for my morning is generally something along the lines of,
I mean,
this is the most creative I can get it in,
in,
in,
in those moments is generally just right along the lines of God,
(04:51):
help me to have new thoughts this morning,
help me to start to shift these thoughts because I will,
I will wake up and I have this internal it's like bang almost when III I get up and,
and the first thing starts going a little bit wrong,
right?
It's like my coffee pot or something is,
(05:12):
is just off a little bit and right when that starts happening,
I,
I freak out inside.
I,
I I've learned now to,
you know,
at least just hold it inside and when I do start freaking out and it starts to bubble up and I go,
oh my God.
Here comes that dreadful,
dreadful,
like pang of anxiety and dread and just,
(05:33):
just absolute like I'm going to throw this coffee maker because it's not performing how I want it to perform and it's this rage that builds up inside.
Iii I really can't explain it more than that,
but it builds up inside and where it used to out,
you know,
have to go out,
it would have to have some sort of outlet I'm finding now that now that my,
(05:57):
now that I'm comfortable within the walls of my home,
I'm finding out now that I can also direct the traffic of the different lights of the different electrical currents of my home.
And if I'm starting to build up that rage,
I can actually intercept that electrical current and I can keep that switch from being turned on.
I can keep that light from being turned on.
(06:19):
It's this chemical process.
It's this understanding that in between the moment of feeling and the moment of action is where the magic happens because the feeling is a beautiful feeling.
The feeling is something that needs to happen.
When that,
when that feeling of rage comes up,
it is a beautifully divine moment to practice letting go.
(06:40):
And when,
when you can,
when,
when I recognized that I could interrupt that process,
that this was a home that this was that this what I'm inside of is a home.
It is a body,
it is an empire.
When I recognized that I could control all the very little elements inside of it that were working together to create the city or create the body or create the experience of life that I was living,
(07:06):
that I recognized that I no longer had to behave out any of the symptomatic narcissistic tendencies that I had.
And that I know a lot of people have out there because this is the age of narcissism.
Every single moment is just compare yourself to others,
(07:28):
compare yourself to others,
compare yourself to others.
Look at me,
look at me,
look at me.
If you don't say you have narcissism,
it's,
it's,
it's,
it's,
it's,
it's,
that's kind of a problem,
right?
So how can we direct it?
How can we direct it into good?
Well,
let's become masters of ourselves.
Then if we're gonna be narcissist,
just become a master narcissist.
(07:49):
Be able to control what's going on your body inside of your mind,
inside of your actions,
love yourself so much,
worship.
It just absolutely just love it so much because it has been given to you.
This body has been given to you.
This mind has been given to you.
This heart has been given to you so that you can experience and have the most thrilling,
(08:13):
thriving and giving back life and it can be so very,
very fulfilling.
But not if you become slave to the kind of like sub threshold,
undertow of life,
the undertow of where narcissism can take you,
(08:33):
where you start battling everything where you start trying to get mine,
get mine,
get mine.
Oh my,
my carers worry.
My carries are,
are so much more important than anybody else's.
Oh,
wait,
I've got to be first in traffic line.
I've got to be first.
I've got,
I've,
if I'm late,
if I'm like,
shut up quiet that none of that thinking has to occur,
(08:58):
you can be a lovely,
beautiful person and very self involved.
Just like that.
You can still be very self involved and you can treat yourself and others with uttermost respect and kindness by interrupting that process,
by stopping that type of chatter by learning how,
(09:19):
what I believe is to be the narcissist guide to kindness is really just developing a pause between the synapses that create the,
the rage and the outburst in which our narcissism and our love of self is now stomping and destroying other people that we love or that we otherwise could love.
(09:45):
That's my hope for everybody is that we,
we come around to all of this stuff and don't relate to hardly any of it that you find an access point somewhere in it where you can just feel more love and give more love.
(10:05):
Because when,
when you can find a way to just give 1% more love,
1% more bit of kindness or going the extra mile,
just 1% throughout your day,
I guarantee you as that practice becomes more paramount in your life,
your life will improve 100% maybe 50%.
(10:28):
But that's a pretty darn good improvement,
especially if we talk about like compounding interest and investing 50% more effort into our lives.
If it's really,
if all we have to do is invest 1% different change and we get a 50% return.
I'm going to do that.
(10:50):
So,
anyway,
thank you for joining me today on Empire Self Podcast.
I'm Mark Turnip.
See your host.
Have a wonderful blessed day.
(11:13):
Yeah.
All right.
Let's ride.
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