All Episodes

July 2, 2025 61 mins

Our intrepid team of criminals uses what's left of their time before Lil Sauce's trial to commit some last-minute acts of obstruction, hoping to completely throw the prosecution's available evidence out of the courtroom! Will they succeed? Or find themselves in more trouble than before? Find out in today's episode of Criminals of Isla Numus!

  • Maki (Quill Smith) - Played by David
    • Kenku Shadow Sorcerer
  • Keto (Ichthyo "Theo" Glycerskin) - Played by Fatty Lumpkins
    • Kobold Echo Knight Fighter
  • Feather McGregor - Played by Quinn
    • Kenku War Mage Wizard
  • Rorick (Fizzlefingers) - Played by Cameron
    • Goblin Arcane Trickster Rogue
  • Dez (Wingbert Featherbottom) - Played by Jackson
    • Kenku Swarmkeeper Ranger

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Credits

Character Art by: comabogbog Music by: Simon Jones Music Additional Music by: Monument Studios

© 2023 Session Zero Heroes. All rights reserved.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Skylar (00:10):
Hello, weary traveler. I'm not sure what
strange magic must have brought you here, but you have
stepped into a realm of my creation. A,
ah, sprawling city filled with danger and
glory, and most importantly, lots of
gold. I call it Isan
Numis. Who am I, you might ask?
The name is Jarim, and I'm the patron

(00:32):
deity of gambling. Long story
short, this group of idiots, or as
you may call them, heroes, made a bet with me that
they had what it took to make a mass trove of gold,
but left some.
Of the key details blank.
So I filled them in myself. I sent
them to this pocket dimension into the city I

(00:53):
had created with brand new bodies they'd
have to attune to.
Can these fools pass my test, or.
Will they be trapped here forever? So experience my
world of trials and tribulations and
join alongside this posse of pitiful
people, or as I like to call them, the
criminals of Isan Numis.

(01:15):
Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Session Zero
Heroes podcast, where we play
Dungeons and Dragons. Allegedly. Yeah, I
know, right? Sometimes we just run around and make up stories
about people causing
injustice through the justice system.
And that's what we're going to continue doing today as we
jump back into how things were with you

(01:37):
guys, trying to manipulate the court
case about to take place
for your old friend, Feather McGregor. speaking of
which, with me today, we've got Dave
playing Machi. we got Quinn playing Little
Sauce, also sometimes, but very
rarely known as Feather McGregor. across me, we got

(01:57):
Jackson.

>> Cameron (01:57):
He's playing D. That's right.

>> Skylar (02:00):
to my left, we got Cameron, who is playing
Roik, who is the only goblin. And then
finally, we've got Fatty Lumpkins, who is
playing kto. and he is our only
Cobalt in the group. So very
exciting. Let's just jump right in.

(02:21):
All right, we're back. And today we've got
specifically, Cameron and Jackson, who
are focusing on for this episode
because, the rest of the group had one whole
day where they went out and they just
absolutely decimated people's mouths
in a morgue, which is a very strange thing to
say.

>> Cameron (02:42):
You should clarify what we did with their mouths, because that could be
taken wrongly.

>> Skylar (02:46):
That's a fair point. You literally broke the lower
jaws off of the mouths of
the deceased.

>> Cameron (02:53):
In unmentionable ways.

>> Skylar (02:54):
In unmentionable ways. So with that, we're gonna jump
over to Jackson. Jackson, what
is Des's plans for today? What is
his activity that he's going to do to help with
this court case?

>> Cameron (03:06):
Des, in his own mind, is
planning to burn down
will steamway carriages.

>> Skylar (03:14):
Oh.

>> Cameron (03:15):
Which is where they are holding the carriage that's used as
evidence.

>> Skylar (03:18):
Right.

>> Cameron (03:19):
And he is prepping
to do this in a very rude,
Goldberg kind a way. Oay.
So that you definitely think that it's an
accident.
Ah.

>> Skylar (03:31):
D okay, explain.

>> Cameron (03:34):
Well, he was planning to go.
So what it I what I would.
Like to know is what is what is this carriage
yard look like?
Yeah.

>> Skylar (03:42):
So this is a fully functioning business. And the
interesting thing is, as you approach steam way
carriages, which is actually located
hundred Asgardia district. So out of
your day is actually spent traveling to the Asgardia
district, which is a finer district. And as you approach
Steamway characters're actually very surprised because

(04:02):
you see what seem to be
non, of course, driven carriages. Ah
seemingly moving by themselves or by some use
of strange magic. they're somewhat
loud, kind of almost a grindy sound
with a little bit of a whir and whiz and
maybe even some cranking that seems to come out of them.

(04:23):
and as you approach steamee carriages, you see several said
carriages, that are be either
repaired or simply parked outside of
this business place, which seems to be a
very nice, mix of metal and wood.
business space building. It's one
floor, but it's a little bit tall because, as you notice, there's

(04:43):
a garage area, where they seem to be moving
these carriages in for repairs. There's
individuals inside that are all wearing kind of these
greasy outfits and costumes,
sort of like jumpers. And they all seem to be,
working on these vehicles.

>> Cameron (04:59):
Uh-huh.

>> Skylar (05:00):
But there's definitely plenty of sort of.

>> Cameron (05:02):
Park and things around Biller
I approach o
one of the
mechanics, if they should be called
so.

>> Skylar (05:13):
Yeah, I think, in fact, as you walk up to
kind of the garage, one mom m comes out and meets you, and he's got a big old
clipboard. he's at orc and he
says.

>> Cameron (05:24):
What do you got going? Never seen a
l Kenu that own a steamway
carriage. Where'your u where's your ride?

>> Skylar (05:32):
What's wrong with it?

>> Cameron (05:34):
U I, look at the orc,
and I just point at him and
recall someone yelling in the back alleys. And
I say, john.
What?
I point at myself. Sorry, I'm gesturing, dud. This is a
podcast. I'd point at myself and I
say, job.
You wanted? You wanted? You want a job?

(05:55):
Get a job.

>> Skylar (05:56):
Me?

>> Cameron (05:57):
You want a job at the younna work?
Huh?
Here does nods.
M. M. You're gonna have to take that up with the boss.

>> Skylar (06:04):
And he walks back inside
into the office, into kind of the main area, not the garage here. He
goes into the main area of this Steam wa Carriages
business, and he returns with a, sort
of younger man, maybe in his
mid-30s. he's got kind of like
a rugish, facial hair with kind of a
more pronounced goatee. He's

(06:27):
got some nice sort of thin,
glasses. He's got some pretty intense,
eyebrows coming down to create sort of a really
just intense look. His hair is kind of slick back
a bit.
And he says, I heard someone
is looking for a job. Is that you,
good sir?

>> Cameron (06:45):
Des nods.

>> Skylar (06:47):
I see. And, what sort of experience
do you have repairing
carriages? Specifically
the motorized variety?

>> Cameron (06:58):
M. What. What
can Des
do in the Overworld, he grew
up as
younger royalty. In the Overworld,
he is a fishman.

>> Skylar (07:14):
M.

>> Cameron (07:14):
So he was a fighter.
He was a fighter.
Ah.
Des. Des lifts up a finger, like, he has an
idea, which would technically be like a feather. Feather. He just
holds up one feather. He picks up a rock. He
takes out of his cloak and many things. One
reflective mirror.
he puts it on the rock, and he ties a bunch of hemp rope

(07:35):
around it. And then he summons his
swarm as, like, a mage hand.

>> Skylar (07:40):
Right, and your swarm is the twigs, right?

>> Cameron (07:43):
Yeah, little twig guys.

>> Skylar (07:44):
Little twig guys.

>> Cameron (07:44):
Yeah, twig guys. They hold up this rock
with the mirror tied to it. and they start
making. They start mimicking the sound of
the engine. Or Desz will start mimicking the sound of the engine
as the mage hand carries this rock with
the mirror tied to it. And Des just, like,

(08:05):
gestures like, ah.

>> Skylar (08:06):
Ah. the man. The man sort of strokes his
stubble.
And he says, I see. Interesting. Interesting
indeed. I'm not getting anything
that suggests that you can build.
But he looks both ways, as if.
Like, suspiciously, and he says, I might have another job for
you. Come with me.
And he starts to lead you towards his office.

>> Cameron (08:25):
Des follows.

>> Skylar (08:26):
All right, you guys follow. He. Follow him in the half Org
goes back to the garage. He's not with you guys. as you guys enter
inside, he brings you into his nice office.
It's decorated with a few different shelves filled with books.
And, he's got a big fancy desk with
a chair behind it that looks extremely comfortable.
And he offers you a seat that looks

(08:47):
less comfortable, but, you know, it's padded.
And, sits down himself, and he.
Says, I have a bit of A
problem that I feel like you might just
be perfect to help me solve.

>> Cameron (09:00):
Des puts his feather tips together and,
like, leans in.

>> Skylar (09:05):
You, I assume, aware
of Metal. Noble Metal
Steeds Transportation?
Yes.

>> Cameron (09:12):
Nods.

>> Skylar (09:13):
Good. As you could probably
assume, it is my
rival in the transportation business
that deals with, our motorized carriages.
It is a constant thorn
in my side, and I wish it to be
gone. I'm sure you know its

(09:34):
owner, Isabel
Fairchild, calls herself a
lady.

>> Cameron (09:40):
Okay. Des nods along.

>> Skylar (09:42):
All right, he says.
I need you to.
Well, there's a number of things I suppose you could do, but
whatever it takes to get rid of her
business, whether that be through
sabotage or procuring some kind
of false accusations that we could use
against her credibility. Perhaps

(10:03):
bribe an, individual working for her
to cause some kind of
problem. Maybe
even intimidation. I don't know what
you're capable of, but if you can get me
something in order to cause her
problems and possibly cause her
business to fail, I would be in your

(10:25):
debt. How does this
sound?

>> Cameron (10:29):
Des, looks up, taps the
tip of his beak approximately five times, and
nods.

>> Skylar (10:35):
Okay.
Good. Good. And, of course,
you'be compensated for your
troubles.

>> Cameron (10:43):
What was the carriage company that she's the part of?

>> Skylar (10:46):
She is the, owner of Noble Metal
Steed'transportation.

>> Cameron (10:50):
Okay.

>> Skylar (10:51):
So whatever it is that you're able.
To accomplish, come back to me,
and.
I'll give you your next job based on
the results. I don't pay
until I see significant issues
with her business.
But once I do see that you.
Will be compensated greatly.

>> Cameron (11:12):
Does not.

>> Skylar (11:13):
Fantastic. And, of course, I assume
you understand that this conversation
stays between us.

>> Cameron (11:21):
U. Des will take his fingers and,
like, do zippers exist?
Yeah.
Okay, because, like, when.
When was the zipper invented? Surely everyone was just buttoning their
pants.
Remember, this is a pocket dimension world. Anything can exist
when we Wait.
Zips cross his beak. I mean, it's like. It's like
a triangle.

>> Skylar (11:42):
It looks a little bizarre when you get. Exactly.
Wonderful. Have a nice day, and feel free
to report back whenever it is that you have
made movement.

>> Cameron (11:52):
Des salutes. does Des
see where the
target, carriage is being held?

>> Skylar (12:00):
Yeah. Do a perception check.

>> Cameron (12:01):
Well, that is
a seven.

>> Skylar (12:06):
So the only thing that you see around this
entire facility, from what. What you've seen, is these
metal motorized
carriages that he keeps talking about.

>> Cameron (12:17):
I see. Well, I will do a task, and
u. He'll be in my debt.
And then I will make the
carriage disappear.

>> Skylar (12:27):
All right. Sounds good. Where,
where do you plan on heading next?

>> Cameron (12:32):
I. I guess I'll Head to the
next yard. I'll go ahead and
head over to the metal.

>> Skylar (12:40):
The noble metal steeds or noble steeds
for short. Yeah, you head over to noble steeds.
And honestly, it looks very
similar to steamway carriages. The
only major difference is that this place seems a little bit more
bougie. as opposed to
steam wa carriages was a little bit more like, not rough and
rowdy, but just a little bit more like, you know,

(13:02):
let's just get it done and not worry about how nice it
necessarily looks. So you head over
there and similarly, you've got a number of different
individuals that are working on these vehicles
here. and then kind of the nicer
office area, attached to the
garage.

>> Cameron (13:19):
Okay. I'm going to
walk up to the.
The door to the kind of nicer office
area.

>> Skylar (13:29):
Okay.

>> Cameron (13:30):
And I would like to
step in and act like I'm waiting
for help.

>> Skylar (13:37):
Okay.

>> Cameron (13:37):
And then I'm going to reach
into my bag of tricks.

>> Skylar (13:43):
Okay.

>> Cameron (13:43):
And I'm going to roll one of
the fluffy balls out of the bag of tricks
into the middle of the office
discreetly.

>> Skylar (13:53):
Okay, wait, you're rolling one of the bags of
tricks into like through. You're opening the door a little bit and then
rolling one in.

>> Cameron (14:00):
Yeah.

>> Skylar (14:00):
Okay. What are you rolling it U.

>> Cameron (14:02):
Well, I need to roll a D8 to find out.
5. It's a black
beary.

>> Skylar (14:11):
All right. You roll this bag in and then all of a
sudden you just hear
as heavy footsteps start to fall and
make their way throughout. And you hear someone shout,
excuse me, is somebody here? And then
o up.
Oh dear. And

(14:31):
you hear a door slam.

>> Cameron (14:33):
All right, I will run to the garage.

>> Skylar (14:35):
Okay.

>> Cameron (14:36):
And are there people in the garage?

>> Skylar (14:37):
Yeseah.

>> Cameron (14:37):
I will frantically do like one of these
things and then I'll mimic. Oh, sorry. I'm
waving my hands above my head. And then I
am. I'll make like a bare
imitation with my body and
growl and then point at the
office so that people know that there's a bear in the
office.

>> Skylar (14:57):
Okay. All right. Do a perform. Do a performance
check.

>> Cameron (15:00):
It's an 11.

>> Skylar (15:02):
I would say, one person just sees you kind of
motion toward. There's. Let's say there's three engineers back
here, mechanics. One of them notices that you point towards
the office there. None of them seem quite sure. They're like, oh,
excuse me, can we help you?

>> Cameron (15:14):
What is exactly is going on?

>> Skylar (15:16):
But one runs over to the office.

>> Cameron (15:18):
Oay.

>> Skylar (15:19):
And, all we need starts to head in that. Yeah. Head in that direction.
you're left with one guy who's, like, real
scrawny, tiny dude. he is
underneath one of the cars at the moment. He
hasn't noticed that you're there. He's underneath there
and he's sh. What's going on out there?
What are you guys freaking out about? And then in front of
you is a, dwarven

(15:41):
female.

>> Cameron (15:42):
Okay.

>> Skylar (15:42):
she's got like, like coveralls on. Yep. And she's
got a big old wrench in her hand, and she's kind of got some.
Some soot or some kind of grease on her face and she's like.
I don't know what you're trying to say there, Felip.
If something's wrong, you gotta. You gotta tell
us because you look darn frantic.

>> Cameron (16:00):
I really wish I had a
fire lantern. Oh, I guess I had bullseye
lanterns, don't I? Do they use
oil? I'm pretty sure you would think so.

>> Skylar (16:11):
Yeah. I would think so.

>> Cameron (16:12):
Is there oil on the floor of
this garage type place?

>> Skylar (16:17):
Yeah, I'd say so.

>> Cameron (16:18):
I will. I'm going to
donawn a terrified face and just
point behind her.

>> Skylar (16:25):
Okay. Yeah. She looks back. What do you mean? Something's back
there.

>> Cameron (16:28):
Gonna throw out of my robe of
useful items. Throw down a bullseye
lantern just on the floor.

>> Skylar (16:35):
Okay. And just shatters it.

>> Cameron (16:37):
I'm hoping that.

>> Skylar (16:38):
Is it lit, though?

>> Cameron (16:39):
It is lit.

>> Skylar (16:39):
Oh. Oh, okay.

>> Cameron (16:41):
They are filled and lit is how.

>> Skylar (16:43):
Just at all times. That's how it was sd.
I mean, it. This is a magical, thing. that is an interesting
way to look at it. Yeah. okay. Yeah. You. You throw
this down, and it immediately ignites some of the fluids
on the ground. And at this point, the guy underneath the car is freaking out. He's
like, why am I. I smelling fire? Why am I smelling
fire? I smell fire. What's going on out there? And the

(17:04):
dwarven woman turns around and goes, hold. Oh, dear.
You. Did you do that? What's going on?

>> Cameron (17:09):
I'FREAKING out with, I'm gonna wave my
hands above my head and I'm gonna run away.

>> Skylar (17:14):
Oh, okay. She looks up at the ceiling, like she thinks one of maybe
the, light source had fallen down or something. She's not sure.
And she rushes over. She's trying to find, usually they'll have a
bunch of sawdust or sand that they keep in just to
help, like, soak up those fluids when they do get ono the ground.
And so, yeah, she's trying to she's trying to dump, some, some.
Something on top of this. So whatever the case, she's

(17:35):
frantically looking around. What are you doing? As this is
happening?

>> Cameron (17:38):
One, I'm gonna roll another
ball into the garage and then I'm gonna run away.

>> Skylar (17:44):
Hit and disappear. Hit and disappear.

>> Cameron (17:46):
Hit three of those perlo long rest.

>> Skylar (17:48):
Okay. And number dissipate the one
previous the creature vanishes at the next D are when it is reduced
to zero hit.

>> Cameron (17:54):
Points, but it stays until it's
reduced to zero hit points. That's
crazy. A7. It's
a giant hyena.
It is now in the garage.

>> Skylar (18:09):
Yes. And it is also kind of like
freaking out as there's, like, fire
and there's people frantically moving
about. And one guy is under the car, just flailing,
trying to get himself out from under the car becausee he doesn't know
anything that's happening right now. So,
yeah, I mean, you've got a bear in the main house and

(18:29):
you've got a giant hyena in the garage. just
giggling and cackling and laughing as the people are
freaking out. Yeah. trying to put out fire, but also stay,
like, at a distance from this giant hyena,
so. Which is obviously slowing down progress of putting out the
fire significantly. The guy that went into the house hasn't
come back out yet. So you assume they're distracted by the bear
inside, whatever that situation looks

(18:52):
like. What's your next move?

>> Cameron (18:54):
So is this. Now is this a lot,
like, a lot of wagons, or is it just
like, they've got the garage, they've got the thing,
or is it like a dealership?

>> Skylar (19:06):
This is actually, as you kind of look around, they don't have a
huge number of wagons that are here.
and as you kind of like, look around at some of the signage and stuff,
you kind of get the idea that this is actually more of a
taxi service or sort of a luxury
taxi service, almost like a limo, because obviously these motorized
vehicles aren't super common.

>> Cameron (19:25):
Right. I imagine both the
fire, the bear and the hyena
are gonna cause significant revenue drop.

>> Skylar (19:33):
Sure, sure.

>> Cameron (19:34):
I think I will take my chances
with that in mind.

>> Skylar (19:38):
O and just leave and take off. Okay, sounds good.
Are you headed back to the rest of the gang then,
at this point?

>> Cameron (19:45):
yeah, sure'stop. I'll stop like an
officer on the road. O and just like,
do that waving above my. You just branting, pointing.
And then I run away like this.

>> Skylar (19:55):
So the guard is, like, already kind of in a light Jog.
And then you stop him and you start frantically flailing and
he's like, I know, I'm out of there already. And he
just kind of runs off past you and he's like, somebody
bring.

>> Cameron (20:07):
A bucket, we need water.
That should clear me of any
suspicion.

>> Skylar (20:14):
For the Bear and the Hyna. We need a gun
alrigh. So, yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, that's a good point. All right, so,
yeah, Noboy, nobody necessarily suspects you. As far as
anyone's concerned. You were a guy warning everyone
the danger. It's just weird
how much danger suddenly happened while you were around. But, hey, you
know, awesome. All right, so you came back.
You'successfully done quite a bit of damage, to say

(20:37):
the least, to this nice business.
Jumping back over to Cameron. Cameron,
Roick is off to the horses, but not the

(20:58):
raceces necessarily. Where is he headed
to?

>> Cameron (21:01):
Well, Roark doesn't know where the horses
are, so he was heading to the
stable where they were taken from
where.

>> Skylar (21:09):
You guys originally got them. Right? Yes, The Pendleton
Estate.

>> Cameron (21:13):
Pendleton Estate. I was debating,
you know what? Ro had an idea and he said he was gonna do it,
so he's gonna just go with it and then might have
to just go with the flow from there, but he is
casting disguised self.

>> Skylar (21:27):
Okay.

>> Cameron (21:27):
And I was disguising myself to look like the
assistant that we saw at the lawyer
office. Sure.

>> Skylar (21:34):
You arrive at the Pendleton estate, it's very different
seeing it in the daytime and not the nighttime. you
still see the crashed cart that you guys
crashed, which is taped off, allegedly.
Oh, sorry, Allegedly. that is taped off.
And in the distance you can see a
stable. But now that it's daylight and you can get a better look

(21:55):
at everything that's going on here, you realize that there
are many,
many stables behind this
stable, all of which have a lot of
horses and them.

>> Cameron (22:06):
I'm not looking for horses.

>> Skylar (22:07):
Okay. I'm just letting you know, there's probably a
guard and a woman
that are standing by the crashed
cart at the moment.

>> Cameron (22:17):
Does it look like there's anyone working the stables?

>> Skylar (22:21):
Not, that you see at the moment. You assume that there has to be.
Yeah.

>> Cameron (22:24):
I'm gonna walk around the stables looking for a stable hand.

>> Skylar (22:27):
Okay. Are you sneaking past the guard in the woman?

>> Cameron (22:30):
I'm just walking. I'm holding. I'm just walking.

>> Skylar (22:32):
Because you are disguised as the. As the chick. Okay. Yeah, I don't think
anybody would question that. yeah, you inevitably find a
stable hand.

>> Cameron (22:38):
Okay.

>> Skylar (22:39):
And it's a young man. He is a
wood elf.

>> Cameron (22:43):
Okay.

>> Skylar (22:44):
Well, hi, ma'am. How can I help you?

>> Cameron (22:46):
Do I have to do the voice?

>> Skylar (22:48):
A voice you, can do your best interpretation of the voice.
Does disguise self give you the voice though? Yeah, okay. Yeah.
Just have fun.

>> Cameron (22:55):
Just the man I'm looking for.

>> Skylar (22:58):
Me.

>> Cameron (22:59):
Ah.

>> Skylar (22:59):
rarely the man anyone's looking for except
Mr. And Mrs. Pendleton, but. Well, not
Mr. Pendleton anymore.

>> Cameron (23:06):
By the Mrs. Pendleton. Oh, see, I'm from
the U. The courts.

>> Skylar (23:11):
The courts?

>> Cameron (23:12):
Yeah, the courts.

>> Skylar (23:13):
You're here to court me?

>> Cameron (23:14):
Noh, no, no.
I'm looking for those horses that
were stolen during the
Pendleton affair that drew that dry
night.

>> Skylar (23:25):
We actually call it around here. We call it
a situation.

>> Cameron (23:29):
The Pendleton situation.

>> Skylar (23:31):
There you go.

>> Cameron (23:32):
Well, anyways, those two horses.

>> Skylar (23:34):
Oh sure, the two.

>> Cameron (23:36):
They're not being kept here, but I need to
go fill out paperwork. But I don't
know where they are. So I was looking for you to help me out.

>> Skylar (23:44):
I need you to do a persuasion.
persuasion check with advantage.

>> Cameron (23:49):
Good thing. That's advantage. But that is a
1 21.

>> Skylar (23:54):
He says. Well, shucks. Ma'am, are you. You said you're
from the prosecution court people?

>> Cameron (24:00):
Yes, I'm the
attorney's assistant.

>> Skylar (24:04):
Oh, you mean old egg.
Yes, egg.

>> Cameron (24:08):
Yes, egg. Gnomes is sure.
And I'm his assistant.

>> Skylar (24:13):
All right, ma'am. Yep. I could take you right over to the
horses that are part of the trial here. And he leads
you over to a particular stable that's
quite's. Almost centered to the many, many,
many stables that they have. And he says right here we've
got Fergie and
we've got Begie.

>> Cameron (24:32):
Okay, good.

>> Skylar (24:33):
Feg and Begie were a kidnapped poor guys
who've been bit traumatized ever
since. I've been giving him extra oats and
a couple extra carrots a day. Have I Bur and Fergy.
And he kind of reaches both his hands up and gives their. Their
muzzles and nuzzle.

>> Cameron (24:49):
I bet they were traumatized.

>> Skylar (24:51):
Oh man, they were traumatized something.
Fce.

>> Cameron (24:55):
Well, good thing we're here now, right? The help
out.

>> Skylar (24:58):
Oh, absolutely, absolutely. Did you
need something?

>> Cameron (25:02):
Well, I don't need you per se anymore.

>> Skylar (25:05):
O. I'm sh.

>> Cameron (25:06):
What are the papers?

>> Skylar (25:07):
They re. Papers. Well, they're hanging up on the.
The doohickey right there, the hanger. And
there's a clipboard hanging on either side of them. Like there's kind of like a
perect or something like that.

>> Cameron (25:18):
I'm gonna pull out a couple Pieces of paper
myself.

>> Skylar (25:21):
Okay.

>> Cameron (25:22):
I don't have a clipboard, but I have paper. So I just
pull up loose paper.

>> Skylar (25:26):
Okay.

>> Cameron (25:27):
And a pen, A quill pen.

>> Skylar (25:29):
Okay.

>> Cameron (25:29):
And'be like, I just need to copy down the information.

>> Skylar (25:33):
Oh, sure. Under my papers.

>> Cameron (25:34):
And I'll be heading out. So you don't. I don't want to waste any
more of your time. Oh.

>> Skylar (25:38):
All right. I gotta get.

>> Cameron (25:40):
I don.
Get in trouble with Ms. Pemble. Yeah.

>> Skylar (25:42):
She does a heck of a spanking and he.
He quickly scampers off.

>> Cameron (25:48):
Okay.

>> Skylar (25:49):
He picks up like a pail of water and heads. Heads around the back.

>> Cameron (25:51):
Okay. Well, after he leaves, I kind of just. I
put the papers away. The ones I had. I didn't need them
anyways. and I, Can I look at theirs? Yeah. Is it just
like their information or.

>> Skylar (26:01):
yeah. Yep. It's got like their, you know, obviously their name
and information about their breed and things along those
lines mostly.

>> Cameron (26:07):
Are there other horses in the stable?

>> Skylar (26:10):
In this particular stable? Yeah. I think it's like four
horses to a singular stable. And then of
course, I mean, there's just so many stables around you with horses.
The place smells really bad.

>> Cameron (26:20):
Okay.

>> Skylar (26:21):
If you're not used to horse poop.

>> Cameron (26:23):
Okay, now I gotta just figure out the solution
here. How do I take these horses out? I
thought first thought was I swap the paper
names.
But then I figured the stable boy would know what they look
like.

>> Skylar (26:35):
That's a fair point.

>> Cameron (26:36):
Wrong. I like, could try changing their
stables. Hold them.

>> Skylar (26:41):
Burn it.

>> Cameron (26:43):
Who's saying this? I don't know.

>> Skylar (26:45):
Your inner voice. Do it. Burn it down.
I hate my job here.
What's that?

>> Cameron (26:52):
It's the stable boy. He's still cute.

>> Skylar (26:55):
I'll hide the pail of water.

>> Cameron (26:57):
Oh, that's a route you could have gone with. Does he really hate
his job? You could find out.
He didn't seem too fond of those spinkings.

>> Skylar (27:05):
Maybe he was just pretending not to like him.

>> Cameron (27:08):
I don't have speak with animals.

>> Skylar (27:10):
So I can't just talk to them.

>> Cameron (27:12):
So I'm trying to think what would be the
quickest way I can do this.

>> Skylar (27:16):
I'm justnna. I'm just gonna say this right now. If you
kill the horses, everyone who
listens to this podcast will hate you.

>> Cameron (27:25):
I don't want to. I want to. Trying so hard to think
of another solution. Keep in mind
that past adventuring
parties that had tried to fight a
stable. Oh no, I forgot about
that. Oh no,
that was. That's right. In other Campaign

(27:46):
we played. I was the DM and Dave and a
group of friends. And the first fight in that
campaign was them against the stable for full of horses.
And they almost all died. Yeah,
it was. It was not a good fight.

>> Skylar (28:00):
It's about numbers. It's a numbers game when you go to con.

>> Cameron (28:02):
Oh, no, I'm gonna think, you know, what can
I pull out? Oh, do they have food anywhere in
here? Can I look to see if there's a carrots or
something? Like good food, not just hay.

>> Skylar (28:13):
I think there might be a m.
It's mostly just hay in here because anything.

>> Cameron (28:18):
All the good food was taken as evidence, so.

>> Skylar (28:21):
Right.

>> Cameron (28:21):
I don't have any good food.

>> Skylar (28:22):
The challenge is, is that if they put good food too close to
the stables, the horses will get it.

>> Cameron (28:28):
Okay, well, do they have some oats?

>> Skylar (28:31):
They just mostly just have hay. Just. Hey.

>> Cameron (28:35):
Okay, can I
hold out some hay and just try and
for. Just get the animals to like me
with an animal handle.
Yeah, yeah.

>> Skylar (28:45):
Do an animal handling.

>> Cameron (28:46):
I could just fail as and I'm gonna have to quickly pivot the
plan. Yep. It's a five.

>> Skylar (28:51):
It doesn't seem all that interest in there. Hey. Actually, you think it might be
less to do with the. Hey. And more to do with like, it's
getting a weird smell off you because it like le. It goes
and it seems off. Yeah, seems off.

>> Cameron (29:02):
do they have leads on?

>> Skylar (29:04):
No, but there are leads hanging.

>> Cameron (29:06):
Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.

>> Skylar (29:07):
O.

>> Cameron (29:07):
I don't know how to put a lead on a horse, so
same. You know what must be done. When is
the accord?

>> Skylar (29:15):
you guys have one more day to do something and
then it'll be the trial.

>> Cameron (29:20):
Okay. First I am going to take their
papers. Okay. And then I'm going to take
the papers of the other horses in this
room. H. And then I am going
to leave that stable.

>> Skylar (29:33):
Are you just taking them all together?

>> Cameron (29:35):
Just the papers.

>> Skylar (29:36):
Oh, okay. You leave the clipboards, up.

>> Cameron (29:37):
Yeah, leave the clipboards up, take the papers and then I walk to the
side and I like, I make a mark
in the side of the building. Just like a mark
so I can remember that's the building with the horses in it.

>> Skylar (29:49):
Okay.

>> Cameron (29:49):
Because then I'm going to go to another stable and start taking in their
papers.

>> Skylar (29:52):
Oh, okay.

>> Cameron (29:53):
O. I'GONNA start taking papers of every.

>> Skylar (29:55):
Okay. Like you're gonna head back to the front and as you do, you're just
grabing.

>> Cameron (29:59):
Yeah, I'm just stuffing papers in here.

>> Skylar (30:00):
Okay, Sounds good.

>> Cameron (30:01):
And then if I get Them all without anyone noticing me.
I'm gonna go back to that one.

>> Skylar (30:06):
Okay.

>> Cameron (30:06):
Okay. So I ll go back to one. I go back to that one, and I
open up the stable.

>> Skylar (30:10):
Okay.

>> Cameron (30:11):
And I released all the horses in there.

>> Skylar (30:13):
you open up the stable.

>> Cameron (30:14):
Yeah.

>> Skylar (30:15):
And they. They don't move.

>> Cameron (30:17):
Yes. So behind them, I'm going to cast press
theentation and make it look like there's a fire
growing behind o. It's not real. It's just light. So make it look like
a fire is going behind him. And I'm just going to stand off to the side.

>> Skylar (30:28):
Yeah. So it takes a minute to notice because of again, it
doesn't. Doesn't. I don't think it gives off heat. It just.
It's a visual. Entirely visual. But the second that they do see it.
Yeah. They start to panic for sure.

>> Cameron (30:38):
Okay.

>> Skylar (30:39):
And then they would leave. Yeah.

>> Cameron (30:40):
Okay. And after they do that, then I go to the next stable.

>> Skylar (30:43):
Okay.

>> Cameron (30:43):
And I do the exact same thing. All right, I'm
just gonna keep looping this
process.

>> Skylar (30:49):
Okay.

>> Cameron (30:50):
How many are there? You said there was a lot.

>> Skylar (30:52):
Dude, there's a lot.

>> Cameron (30:53):
Okay, that's even better.

>> Skylar (30:54):
Yeah. So by maybe the third
or fourth one, the stable boy comes running
back and he's like, what? What tarnations
going on? Why aren't these horses in their
stables?

>> Cameron (31:07):
I don't know. Does he look like I know anything
about horses?

>> Skylar (31:11):
roll, roll A deception check u it's 11. Ah. he
says, but wait a
minute. What are all those papers
doing in your bag?

>> Cameron (31:21):
U what? Those are the papers I told you about.

>> Skylar (31:24):
But why are the horses out? Oh, and I
don't see any papers hanging from the walls. Rats.
Rats?

>> Cameron (31:31):
Yeah, rats.

>> Skylar (31:33):
But the doors are open. The rats are
openingooorss. Yeah, that's a bunch of
boney big, big rats. Where are the big
rats? All I see is horses running around. This a
big problem.

>> Cameron (31:45):
That's not my problem.

>> Skylar (31:48):
I'm gonna have to tell Mrs. Pendleton about
this.

>> Cameron (31:51):
That potential spank you.
Oh, not me.

>> Skylar (31:53):
I didn't do it.

>> Cameron (31:55):
I didn't either.

>> Skylar (31:56):
You seem pretty suspicious. I
haven't seen no rats.

>> Cameron (32:00):
Oh. Okay.

>> Skylar (32:02):
I think you better leave.

>> Cameron (32:05):
O leaf. Bye.

>> Skylar (32:08):
And, as you leave, you know, as. As you kind
of walking off into the distance, you hear
from far away, close up to where the stables. Are you just here?
Yeah. Was that woman right there? And
you turn to look, and you can see Mrs. Pendelson standing next to
one of the guards standing next to the stable boy. And they're all or he's
pointing at you and the guard is kind of like,

(32:30):
come back here. You get
back here.

>> Cameron (32:34):
I want to talk to you.
can I. This plan'going worse and worse. But
you know what? Gotta, gotta invest in the plan.
I'm gonna walk around a corner.

>> Skylar (32:44):
Okay.

>> Cameron (32:45):
And I'm gonna cast thisguy self. Okay. To
look like Lord Pendleton.
And I am going to summon
Gertrude, the magical
goat.

>> Skylar (32:58):
Horse.

>> Cameron (32:58):
The goat. And I am going to
hop on Gertrude. Mind you, this is
the ivory horse that I bought.

>> Skylar (33:06):
Yeah.

>> Cameron (33:07):
And then so it summons like it's a go go.

>> Skylar (33:10):
It's not a horse.

>> Cameron (33:10):
It's a's. The size of a riding horse. It's pretty
distinguishable though, just to be fair. Hop onto
the Gertrude.

>> Skylar (33:17):
Yep.

>> Cameron (33:18):
And I'm going to ride around the corner
and declare he'll never
catch me alive. Coppas. and I'm gona like
evil cackle. I'm gonna start running off.

>> Skylar (33:29):
So as you, as you do this, the guard
comes riding up on surprise a horse.
he's bareback. He just grabbed one that was just happened to be
moving by.

>> Cameron (33:38):
Yeah.

>> Skylar (33:39):
Hot. and he just hopped on it and started riding over. And
he sees this and his jaw just
drops to the ground. Not so much because of
the goat, but because he's looking at
allegedly Lord Pendleton. and that
gives you an opportunity to kind of scooch away.
do an animal handling
check for how far you can

(34:01):
get. Or okay, you don't get too far before he starts
chasing goes
Pendleton. And he comes riding up next to
you. He's just that you.
Lord Pendleton. You're alive.

>> Cameron (34:16):
No, I'm his
brother.

>> Skylar (34:21):
Oh, come on, do it.
Do a persuasion check. I'm letting the dice
decide how this goes. C Becausez I don't even know.

>> Cameron (34:29):
Norick wanted to go full in on the
twin evil twin brother. And he saw his
chance and he's taking it.
13.

>> Skylar (34:40):
He, takes a pause.

>> Cameron (34:41):
That's all I need. I shoot him in the head.

>> Skylar (34:46):
It just get, you know, he's not a horse.
It's true. All right. Roll the
attack roll.

>> Cameron (34:55):
Actually, no. Can I shoot him on the side so
like he, he's on bareback. So can I shoot him so like,
it would cause him to fall off because I mean, he doesn't have a
proper saddle.

>> Skylar (35:05):
Sure.

>> Cameron (35:06):
So I'm just shooting at this lodgeg because I don't want him to kill him
because I want him to think, sir, Pendleton's
evil brother shot him. That is
a 3026 I was so.

>> Skylar (35:17):
Worried that if you rolled low, I was gonna have to have you shoot the
horse, and then everyone would hate you.
But, no, that's absolutely an enough.

>> Cameron (35:24):
Like, I'm not shooting to kill. I'm shooting to dislodgeg.

>> Skylar (35:27):
Right, right. And you perfectly do. you hit him right
in, like, kind of right in the. The side in a spot that
doesn't, like, pierce anything important. but it definitely
makes him go clutching at it, and then immediately topples
off of the horse. The horse, scared,
starts to run away, leaving him on the ground,
kind of not even, necessarily, like, in pain because

(35:47):
he's still just so in shock by this situation and
confused. and that gives you the opportunity to ride away
on Gertrude the Giant.

>> Cameron (35:55):
And as I roar away, I laugh again. I
go, this let be the last day. You see
Clarence Bendleton.
And I turn a quarter and take off into the woods.

>> Skylar (36:07):
All right. And you disappear until you
reappear closer to town and, I'm assuming, meet up with the rest of
the.

>> Cameron (36:12):
Yeah, as a goblin.

>> Skylar (36:13):
As a goblin, Yep. Awesome. All right, so you guys
reconvene that night having accomplished
a number of different things to help you with the trial.

>> Cameron (36:21):
I definitely accomplish things.

>> Skylar (36:23):
you get to take a rest. Although nobody took damage, so that doesn't
really matter. And then we'll go into the final day.

>> Cameron (36:28):
Is it a long rest? Yeah, I get all my. I get all my
balls back.
Get all my. I get all my spells back.

>> Skylar (36:35):
Fantastic. So, all right, you guys.
Brand new day. Also, your, your guy is with you.
What's his name? Somebody had it written down. I know it.

>> Cameron (36:43):
We didn't. We just talk about it.
The poor guy.

>> Skylar (36:45):
Yeah.

>> Cameron (36:45):
Oh, the guy that. The hobo or homeless guy,
whatever.
Rle. Dilt skin.

>> Skylar (36:50):
Dilt skin. I did have it written down. I's funny, I passed by
it. I said, what the heck go I riding? Rumpled Dillkin? That sounds
ridiculous. No, you do have Rledil Dilts
with you. Okay, so you got a fresh new day. It is the
last day before the court trial. Ideally, if we
could kind of, like, collaboratively do this one, and then that
way we move on to the court trial in the next episode, I think would be

(37:11):
fun. We've still gotta finish getting the, the
cart. Well, he came back to you guys, but, yeah, I mean, that's an
option. So that's the only thing.

>> Cameron (37:18):
Because you've got the horses all mixed up, right? Sure he
did. How did you manage to get out of there?
Well, you see, I took all the papers, and
then I let all the horses go. And then
in the chaos, they spotted me.
So I hopped on Gertrude, my trusty goat
horse, and I turned into Lord

(37:38):
Pendleton's evil twin brother. What?
And then the God started chasing me,
and then I shot him.
And then as I, I. I flew the coop,
I yelled, that'll be the last time you see Clarence
Pendleton ever again. And then
I went into the woods. So I

(38:00):
didn't really get rid of the horses, but I did,
I did make it look like he has an evil twin brother, which
is the idea I said we should have gone with anyways.

>> Skylar (38:08):
I think that's way more valuable.

>> Cameron (38:10):
Honestly.
I think I did us all at justice here,
so. Well, maybe we could go with that
defense that it was his, the old twin.
Yes. Good. Yes. I like this
idea. Killed him and snuck into his house.
Yeah. And his wife saw him, stole his wife's
jewelry.

>> Skylar (38:29):
Yeah.

>> Cameron (38:30):
Maybe I could just make a fake
birth certificate from, the next
town over. I like it. They
you separated at birth. Yes.
And Charles, Clarence has always been
jealous of his older brother. Right. And the
life he had. Now, what did Rumple. What.

(38:50):
What do we have. What do we have you doing?
Well, I told you guys before, but
you guys were gonna have me give some
false testimony and evidence, or
more like witness statement. But nobody's really told me
what it is that I'm supposed to say it, so I got. I got no
idea.
O are.

>> Skylar (39:08):
Ah, rub.

>> Cameron (39:09):
I'm 63 years old.
Des writes down on his little blackboard
that he carries around. Clearly, that
maybe Rumple could give
faults witness that he also saw the evil twin.
Because just one witness is not good
enough substantial evidence.
But do we have two Mabeists? Because we have Ms.

(39:30):
Pendleton. Ms. Pendleton. But also, how about we
have Rumple? You were. You're a. A
tramp.
Yep. Wa.
What? How long on the streets have you been.
Oh, man, when I wasn't in prison, I was on the
streets.
No, when you get our.
Well, I was there for 20
years.
No, when you get out of prison.
Oh, five years ago.

(39:52):
Oh, okay, that's perfect. So he's been a tramp living on the
streets, and he saw, Lord. Really
Pendleton, Lord Pendleton's evil
twin brother, kill him and the slicer
in that alleyway. So now we have two
witnesses.
Slow down.

>> Skylar (40:08):
He starts furiously writing in a little notepad.

>> Cameron (40:11):
Well, you know, the slice is.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
So he was killed the same place where Lord Pendleton
was.
What? Someone killed the slicer.
He was an up and coming, and it was his evil
brother. And, thought you.

>> Skylar (40:25):
Oh, y. I see.

>> Cameron (40:27):
I see. Okay.
Because we. Because Ms. Pendleton saw the
same person at her house,
right? So now this dude at both places
committing the crimes that they think Little Sauce
committed. You see? And we have two
witnesses at both places.
All right? So, yeah, all right.
They.

>> Skylar (40:46):
They.

>> Cameron (40:46):
They happen to. Must have dumped the cart. Just
happened to be in my framing.

>> Skylar (40:51):
You, we were on a mission.

>> Cameron (40:52):
Where was the town that we were in? Because. Because you
were hired by the Slicer. And when you saw
bad stuff going down, when, Evil Lord
Pendleton showed up, right? You ran because you
were scared he was gonna kill you, too, right? The lo.
Evil Lord Pendleton Clarence
saw as an opportunity. He'like, I can commit my crimes,

(41:12):
and since Little Sauce was here, I can frame
him.

>> Skylar (41:16):
So.

>> Cameron (41:17):
And I was just a bystander, right?
I was walking by the alley, sleeping in, like, a dumpster or
something, and you heard the commotion and peeked out and saw
all this. And you were really smelly.
I. I signed up for 20 gold to say
mean or fake things about a person, and
all you guys do is insult my status of
living.

>> Skylar (41:37):
It ain't even true.

>> Cameron (41:38):
I got a nice apartment. It's a
little rickety, but it's a nice apartment.
Well, maybe you had too much to drink that night. Oh,
yeah, it's happened to us all. Well,
no, you can't say that, because then they won't trust his judgement.
Oh, that's true. That's true. They get you on the
alcohol.
Maybe you're visiting an old friend. Dumpster

(41:59):
Day. Dumpster Dave.
You guys know about Dumpster dav Where.
They bring Dumpster Dave as another witness?
Oh, they probably won't find
Dumpster Dave.
Oh, you were looking for Dumpster Dave.

>> Skylar (42:11):
O.

>> Cameron (42:12):
But he wasn't there. And then you heard people coming
and you didn't.
And I.
In the alley, the streets. You don't know. So you jumped in a
dumpster. The same dumpster you thought Dumpster Dave was
in, right? And then you jumped in to hide, right?
And then you saw everything, and I saw everything. What is everything?
Just to clarify. also.

>> Skylar (42:28):
Just also. I just. I just. Skylar. Want to,
clarify here also is that I did
technically put down one
day training Rumple Dilt.

>> Cameron (42:39):
Yeah, we spent the whole day doing this. What? So be it.

>> Skylar (42:42):
Okay, but we still got to finish.

>> Cameron (42:44):
His testas he can get to it.
Yeah, well, you guys are training. While you guys are training
Rumple, I'll go and cash in on my favor.

>> Skylar (42:51):
All right, sounds good.

>> Cameron (42:52):
Did anyone want to go with him on that?

>> Skylar (42:55):
He s. Oh, okay. All right.

>> Cameron (42:56):
Okay. And the rest of us are gonna stay here.

>> Skylar (42:58):
So Kido and Des will. Will go deal with the
cart situation, and then you guys are here. Okay? Okay, sounds good.

>> Cameron (43:03):
So make sure you write all this down. Okay, so
there was a trade that was gonna happen
between the Slicer and Lord
Pendleton. It was going to be an
illicit horse,
questionable substances, questionable subsant. Substance
trade.
What receptacle should I say it was.

>> Skylar (43:23):
In a, job?

>> Cameron (43:24):
Because I'm notnna know what it is.
Was it a. It was a glass jar.

>> Skylar (43:27):
Yeah, it was a glass jar.

>> Cameron (43:28):
It was a glass jar.
Okay, so he w. Will back up.
The evidence, because that's what they found inside the cart.
Got it. All right, so I peeked out, and so I
see the Slicer.
He hands him the glass jar, right? Pendleton gives him
the money.
Right?
And then Slicer kills Pendleton.
Oh, my gosh.
But then another Pendleton comes
out. What? And kills the Slicer.

(43:50):
Oh, my gosh.
And then the Slicer had an accomplice. Well, not
accomplice with him.

>> Skylar (43:55):
Yeah.

>> Cameron (43:55):
And it was him. Right?

>> Skylar (43:56):
And he points up Little Sauce.

>> Cameron (43:58):
Yeah, he had an accomplice with him.
It was Little Sauce.
Should we say he was there to load? I mean,
yeah, I think he was there to help the Slicer. but. But the instant he
saw he killed Lord Pendleton, he yelled something
like, that wasn't part of the plan. And then took off
down the street.

>> Skylar (44:13):
The.

>> Cameron (44:14):
Then the evil twin.
No, Little Sauce.
Oh, little.
So he was helping the Slicer, with the trade, just being like
muscle. Whatever.

>> Skylar (44:22):
Okay.

>> Cameron (44:22):
But then when he stabbed Lord Pendleton, Little Sauce
yelled, make sure you write this. That wasn't part of the
plan. that wasn'then. He took off running. And
then as he ran away, he passed another
figure who kind of looked at him, but then
kept walking in. And then that's when
you saw. I saw. It was another Pendleton.

(44:42):
Right.
You now saw.
But he.
Them.
But he had a curly mustache.
Yeah, curly musters. It's two of them because one's dead on the ground, and
one's walking towards the slicer. And then he.
He killed him.
He killed the slice of the fake Pendleton with the curly
mustache. Killed the slice, said,
I'm the Pendleton now.

(45:03):
Got it. So just out of
curiosity, as somebody that's been involved in
a murder trial before, why did he
kill the Slicer?
collateral. He use collateral? Just. Well, he
took the cash from him.
This is me.

>> Skylar (45:18):
Oh, okay.

>> Cameron (45:19):
He took us Money.
But he also took the horse substance.
The illicit substance. He didn't want to give that up. If
I say the illicit substance, that's gonna sound
suspicious. Cause I'm just a dude in a dumpster.
Well, you just saw a glass jaw with white liquid in.
I just want to emphasize to you.
That'S what used to.
You guys keep saying horse liquid and I'm gonna
accidentally say horse stuff.

(45:40):
Yeah, just say you saw a giant glass jar with white liquid
and white. Ok, anyways, you saw him take the
gold coins.
Right.
And the white liquid.
Right.
And then Lord Pendle just crank it. No, we had
a cot.
Oh, okay, okay.
That. That you saw them run past, Right?
Right.
But the. The guy in the car wasn't paying attention because then you saw
him hop in the car. You heard muffled

(46:01):
voices, and then they
left.

>> Skylar (46:05):
Okay.

>> Cameron (46:05):
That's all you saw.
And did I get out of the dumbster after that?
You waited a bit.
All right. Cause I was real freaked outies.
Two people get killed.
Just two.
Oh, fr. There was more. That was a lot more, wasn't there?
Like, ah. Roick starts counting his
fingers. I think Lord
Pendleton had two bodyguards.

(46:25):
And I think the slicer had two. Him.
No, we didn't have any. Because we would. We. We
weren't the bodyguards.
I've said it once. I say before, I really don't care.
You guysember all my numbers here. What do you guys
remember? I remember Lord Pendleton had two guards. Just say
there is multiple, multiple casualties. You can't quit.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.

>> Skylar (46:46):
Just o.

>> Cameron (46:46):
It all happens so fast.
Panic. But you do remember Lord Pendleton? A
couple Lord Pendleton killedguards. He had
some bodyguards.
Had three. I got their badges right here.
Oh, really? He had three bodyguards. And
those gods, u, were all killed by the slicer.
He's. He's a mean dude.
I know him, knew him.
He could kill all of them, right? Because'a slicer

(47:08):
U.
not by himself, but I don't know.
But maybe he was helped. Evil Lord
Pendleton. Ah.
Okay.
It was all a blur. You were honestly scared. You
saw, you, flashes of slashing
and blood. And you ducked into the dumpster. And then you
peeked your head back up just to see the slashes standing there and
being confrot. You heard Little Sauce say

(47:30):
that wasn't part of the plan.
Was it part of the plan?
You peeked your head back up to see Little Sauce running away. And
then you see Evil Lord Pendleton enter the scene. And
you see dead bodies all over. And just the slicer in him
okay. He grabs the. The jaw
and the money hops in the cart and the cut takes
off.

>> Skylar (47:48):
Right.

>> Cameron (47:48):
And then I waited a while and then I
got out.
Yes.

>> Skylar (47:52):
And I,

>> Cameron (47:52):
Ran away.
Ran off.
Yeah.
Back to my apartment.
You're very nice apartment.
My nice apartment.
Too shabby for someone.
It'd be a lot nicer if the landlord would fix
the damn door.
Don't I know that? Oh, we're not. When you
left the alley, when you were leaving
alrigh, you saw something on the ground and you picked
it up. It was this. And I hand you one of the

(48:15):
bodyguards badges.
Oa. That's cool.
You were there.
Yeah. That's some surprise evidence. I like
it. All right.
Clever thinking, Maki.
All right. Sounds good.

>> Skylar (48:28):
Yeah, I was gonna say I'll jump over to you guys. so
you guys are headed back to the steamway
carriages. And you get there and you just
let yourself in the. In the door at this point. And
inside is.
Did you even get his name?
I think about it.

>> Cameron (48:42):
He never told me his. Well, on his desk,
boss, it just says Deb.

>> Skylar (48:46):
Boss, it says D. Boss. You know, he has a mug that just says
World's ad Most adequate,
boss. And he has a little thing on his desk
that says Victor Ironsides. And he
says, Ah, yes, my.
My henchman. And he gives you a wink and he says, I see
you have a friend with you.

>> Cameron (49:05):
Desnod.

>> Skylar (49:06):
Well, I owe you a little something. Is it
allgh to speak with your friend around about
our business?

>> Cameron (49:13):
Desnod gives an okay symbol.

>> Skylar (49:15):
Perfect.
Well, you did a very nice job at the
facility.
Sabotage. So I have a little something
for you.
And he pushes forward a small bag of
coins that jingles as it kind of slides
across the desk. Grah.

>> Cameron (49:29):
I'll just scoot it towards myself.

>> Skylar (49:31):
Yes, you peek in or it's
not.

>> Cameron (49:34):
Polite to count your money in front of
the client.

>> Skylar (49:38):
Fair enough. Fair enough. He gives you a nod of respect.
Well, if you feel the urge.
To do anym more, it will definitely be
a good week or so before.
They'Re able to, be back and running to fullool
potential. So that has given me some adequate
time to, sneak in and
steal some good clients of theirs that I know we were re expecting.

(50:00):
Right. So you've definitely done me a solid for
certain. but again, if there's anything
else that you feel the urge to do, just make
sure to keep my name out of your
lips or beak. My apologies.

>> Cameron (50:14):
M. I am gonna pass
a note to you. And it Says you'just his
translator. Yeah, I need. I need a v.
I need a voice.

>> Skylar (50:24):
Yes.

>> Cameron (50:24):
This is bothering me.

>> Skylar (50:25):
It's kind of brilliant, actually.

>> Cameron (50:27):
we need that wagon to
disappear as a favor
from the Pendleonnis State.
Kido will relay the note.
yeah, he's going to, like, take.
The note, look at it, and then just hand it right
to the juice.

>> Skylar (50:45):
He looks up, he looks a little confuseding. He looks
at you first, Keto. And then he looks back over to.
Des, and he says, interesting. You need
the Pendleton wagon to
disappear.
Hmmmm.
M. I tell you what.
In exchange for your pay, I
can have it be claimed

(51:08):
as stolen tonight.

>> Cameron (51:10):
U.

>> Skylar (51:11):
But I will need you to.
And he puts up his fingers in air quotes.
Steal it. And by that, it will
be easily accessible,
but you'll be in charge of the
disposal however you see fit.

>> Cameron (51:26):
Des gives the okay symbol, puts the sack of coin
back on the table. That seems like a fair
bargain to me.
All right.
As a player.

>> Skylar (51:35):
All right.

>> Cameron (51:35):
Not shake hands.

>> Skylar (51:37):
Hands with you.
And he says, it's good doing business with you. I appreciate
your silence.

>> Cameron (51:42):
I'll hold up my black chalk slate. And, now'write.
Takes me a few minutes because I'm not used to my feather
hands quite yet. Even though we've been here for, like, however many
months.

>> Skylar (51:52):
Yeah, no, that's fair. It actually has not been that long. Probably
like, maybe two weeks at most. maybe
maybe almost a month at this point. But yeah.

>> Cameron (52:00):
And. And it just says the word
discretion spelled very poorly.

>> Skylar (52:06):
He looks at it for a second.
And he squints and he goes, oh, yes, yes,
Wonderful. It is greatly appreciated,
both of you. Have a wonderful day.

>> Cameron (52:15):
Kido, not being super intelligent, goes ahead and
reads the board to you out loud.

>> Skylar (52:20):
does he say discretion? Is he able to get it?

>> Cameron (52:22):
O.
Just say it in a different language. That would be so
ra.
Yes.

>> Skylar (52:27):
Awesome. So you guys, finish up there. you head
out. And so that night, it's,
you know, under the COVID of darkness, you head back to the Asgardia district. Is
there anything that you are bringing with you or just a
glare?

>> Cameron (52:39):
I'm just. What, they have, like, left it unlocked for him?

>> Skylar (52:42):
Yeah, essentially. So when you arrive, you
see a particular stall that is. Yeah.
Unlocked, and it's, like, scooted out a bit to just make it
that much easier to hook up whatever it is that you're going to hook up
to this cart. Nothing
is blocking you from getting it. It's just the fact that, you
know, it's a cart. So du.
we needed a h. Horses or

(53:05):
new wa or ironicallyow
men. Some m. Strong men. aside from
yourselves. No, there's not a whole lot of people around here.
And ironically, the only type of there's
no horses and such because this business sort
of subscribes to
mechanical, possibly magical
carriages.

>> Cameron (53:25):
Keinga'going to turn to Des and
mention how disappointed would
these employers be
if the carriage were not stolen but
were instead destroyed.
Des holds a single feather to your
lips. He pulls out his tan bag of
tricks and he'll throw a fuzzy

(53:45):
ball, to the ground.

>> Skylar (53:47):
Okay, let's see what you get is a D8. All
right.

>> Cameron (53:50):
I'm confident in the things that pop up. It's a
four. An axe beak. Hey, that's what I need.

>> Skylar (53:56):
That's a pretty big bird. Yeah, yeah.

>> Cameron (53:58):
So the axe beak is a. It's a large bird.
Be funny if flingo.

>> Skylar (54:01):
So for those that are unfamiliar, you guys at the table,
ax speak. The best way I would say to describe it is
an avatar, theized airbeter, which in our BE News and bruise campaign,
we've actually mentioned this several times. The
ostrich horses. So about
that size. Like a large ostrich
sized creature that's used for
moving things. Although axe beaks maybe not as often.

>> Cameron (54:23):
They look like. If you guys have ever seen, the
Quest for Camelot and the Quest for Camelot, the villain throws a
dodo bird and an ax into a vat and it comes
out with a metal hat
with an ax. And that's what they look like.

>> Skylar (54:37):
I wonder if that's what inspired it.

>> Cameron (54:39):
Anyway, we have the axeak. We can hook it up to the carriage.
They are friendly to me. So.

>> Skylar (54:44):
All right. So yeah, you, yeah, you hook it up, it's friendly to you. So it
follows your commands. It's a little heavy for the axeeak,
but it seems to be able to inevitably pull it.
I'm assuming you guys aren't getting into this cart.

>> Cameron (54:55):
You just can kind of hang around the periphery and look for any
guards or.

>> Skylar (54:59):
Sure, sure.

>> Cameron (55:00):
Neair er Doells.
Yeah, I imagine we'd have to escort it, right?
Yeah, we can escort it. We don't have to write it.

>> Skylar (55:06):
I only asked because, like, so when you guys
initially stole this carriage, you had two horses that were
hooked up to it and then you guys all piled in with your stuff and
everything. In this case, if you guys got in, I think it would be a bit
too heavy for the axe beak singularly to handle
it. But as long as you're Not. I think it can pull it
fine.

>> Cameron (55:24):
Right. so we're going to escort it and I'm going to lead
it to the rougher parts of
town or maybe out of town. I would say out of town, but I
wonder if the guards would stop us. But
does every guard know what this carriage looks
like?

>> Skylar (55:39):
No.

>> Cameron (55:39):
Okay.

>> Skylar (55:40):
If you, if you were just walking down the street leading
this thing, I don't think anyone would question it.
thankfully the Asgardia district is
not necessarily like the
Hoity Toity district, per se. it is, you
know, usually a higher end. You definitely wouldn't be caught
living here if you were of a, lower
income per se. But that doesn't mean that it's not

(56:02):
used pretty frequently for travel from people from lower
economic classes. So you can definitely get through it
without really anybody asking any questions. It just depending on where
you're headed afterwards.

>> Cameron (56:12):
Well, I would like to lead it outside of
town.

>> Skylar (56:15):
Okay.

>> Cameron (56:16):
If we can.

>> Skylar (56:17):
It'll. It'll keep you up pretty late, but you could take
it all the way around to the edge
of Isanumis, which
is bordered by the ocean. and that would be
the Atlantis Heights district.

>> Cameron (56:31):
Okay. Appley named.
Yep.

>> Skylar (56:33):
And from there it's like a big shipyard. Right. That's like what
takes up most of this town. There's cobblestone area.
It's definitely kind of a poorer part of town. It's made up
by a lot of the sailors and anything sailors would really be
interested in rough and rowdy types. so, yeah, you're
absolutely. Nobody's gonna question a
dude and. Or two dudes and an axebeak carrying

(56:54):
a carriage. I guess the question is, is like there. I
think there's like a sewage area that you could
probably lead it to and then dump it. Nobody would
question also the people here as you're getting
led through. Sketchy.
Sketchy people.
Right. Course you got, like I said, sailors, the type of
people that sailors would hang out with. A lot of people become
sailors in this sort of renaissance

(57:16):
medieval style thing because they're trying to get away from
stuff. So nobody here is all that interested in
what anybody else is doing, because asking too many questions or
getting too noy nosy is going to get you in trouble.
So you, can definitely take
this cart to sort of just a
secluded area and dump it into the
water if that's what you would like.

>> Cameron (57:38):
Yeah. And we just that. And we do just that. I
want to either toss it in the ocean or some burn it
down as a sludge pile. Or something. Absolutely.

>> Skylar (57:46):
Yeah. I think a good sludge pile or maybe just like a
muddy section that kind of like just comes off
of the ocean and it just. This cart just kind
of sinks right into it. So awesome. All
right, you guys have managed to destroy
a very important piece of evidence. And with
that, you head back, you meet up with the rest of the group who has
aptly trained

(58:07):
Rumpeltililtskin for his
part in this trial. And with that, we will end tonight's
episode with the plan that the next episode will
be our court trial. We'see you guys next
time.
Thank you so much for listening to Criminals of Ilaumis,
a Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition actual play podcast

(58:30):
set in a homebrew world created by me, Skylar Gorsett.
If youve been enjoying our show so far, be sure to like, follow and
subscribe wherever it is youe streaming from, Whether that be
Spotify, Apple Podcast, YouTube or anywhere else that Pop
–cast can be streamed. Or just check us out on our website
sessions zeroheroes.com do. Additionally, if you
enjoy COIN, you might enjoy some of Session Zero Heroes

(58:51):
other shows such as Our Benders and BRWS and Avatar
Legends actual play where we jump into the world
of the last Airbender and Legend Ofora
using the Avatar Legend system created by Magpie Games
or one of our various one shots which we are currently coming out
with where we use a variety of games and TTRBGS
systems to tell a variety of fun, exciting, emotional and

(59:11):
hilarious stories. Within our group, we have all sorts
of other content that we highly recommend checking out
within theh channel and more to come
in the future. To find out more about what we do at
Session Zero Heroes and to keep up with a lot of the other content
we produce and be made aware of, future projects,
shows and content, be sure to follow us on social
media, on Facebook, x Instagram and

(59:33):
Discord. These are all great ways to get in contact with our
team as well as to keep up to date with everything that
we're creating and working on. We'd love to see you there. In
the meantime, thank you so much for listening and don't forget to
stay curious, stay heroic until we roll
again.
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