December 11, 2025 • 30 mins
Life Beyond Suboxone: When The Process Gets Personal | Episode 6
In Episode 6, Stacy steps into one of the most honest parts of her journey so far. The second Sublocade shot hits harder. The emotions hit deeper. The holidays bring up memories she wasn’t ready for. And the recovery work shifts from physical… to personal.
This episode dives into: • the pain + side effects of the second shot • why lowering the dose matters • emotional dips during stabilization • rebuilding trust with family • holiday grief, gratitude, and reflection • finding spiritual grounding • learning who she is without Suboxone • showing up even on the hard days
This is the part of recovery people never see — the part where you grow through what hurts, face what you’ve been avoiding, and start becoming the person you’re meant to be.
👉 Watch Episode 6 now on Youtube: www.youtube.com/@sobernotboring 💬 Comment what part of Stacy’s story connected with you 👍 Subscribe to follow her journey
#LifeBeyondSuboxone #WhenTheProcessGetsPersonal #SublocadeJourney #AddictionRecovery #RealRecovery #SoberNotBoring #Outreach419 #HealingInRecovery #EmotionalSobriety #RecoveryStories #SoberCommunity
00:00 Introduction to Recovery Tools 00:10 Stacey's Experience with Sublocade 01:20 Immediate Effects of the Shot 02:07 Adjusting Dosage and Effects 04:19 Recovery Program Essentials 12:54 Building a Routine for Recovery 15:40 Setting Boundaries and Self-Care 17:14 Discussing Drug Tests and Medication 19:20 Health and Well-being Improvements 20:48 Family Support and Personal Growth 22:41 Holiday Reflections and Advice 26:41 Recovery and Future Plans
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
If you're in recovery from opiates,one of the tools that's out there to
(00:03):
help you through your recovery journey
is suboxone.
And there's also a shot called
Sublocade.
Mm-hmm.
And what we're talking abouttoday is Stacey's journey where
she
is transitioning
from the Suboxone over to
the Sublocade shot andhow that's all going.
And she just
got
her second
shot.
Yeah, my second
one.
Okay.
so how did
(00:23):
that go?
I know
the first one you said it was alittle pinch kind of in the stomach.
Got, did you get it inthe stomach again or?
Yeah,
so they moved from, fromthis side to this side.
Okay.
And this one
hurt.
This one?
Mm-hmm.
Worse than the other.
Way worse Okay.
it
sent me back, actually the nursethat was in there, she was like,
go ahead and take a minute.
And I had to lay there for
a second just to kinda, And it bruised.
Like I have, I have a
(00:44):
bruise about that big on my stomach and
I,
and it's almost the same location,
but like.
You know, pushing all that liquid in
there.
I'm sure
you never know which part of thestomach and nerves or whatever,
whatever could be in that area.
Yeah.
so yeah, it hurt, it hurt pretty bad.
so I took about, uh, a five minute breakand just laid there and was like, okay,
(01:05):
I gotta had pull
it together.
'cause you gotta go to work.
So yeah, it was, it was,worse than I expected,
but.
You know, I mean,
they told me that going in the shot
can hurt.
Is there any initial, immediateafter effect, like you said you
had to go to work, like Yeah.
(01:26):
Is there like a woozy
feeling or is it
just kinda like,
Hey, I just got this shot andI'm going on with my life?
Yeah.
Uh, when
I first got the shot, It just hurt
is what it was.
And, I didn't start, you don't start
feeling the
effects of it untillike, later on that day.
At least I don't,
sure I didn't.
And then that went for
the first one too.
I didn't feel it immediately.
Yep.
but I start to feel it.
You start to feel it throughout the day.
Okay.
Um, and even more that night,and then even more the next day.
(01:49):
this time for me, um, the two daysafter getting it, I just was down.
I did not feel good.
Mm. Um, my sleep was really off
and, When I finally did sleep, I slepthard and then woke up and my stomach
was just really like woozy, like
too much meds.
Um, and
you're on the 300
Yes.
Shot
again this time?
Yes, I did.
And so we are definitely taking it down
(02:09):
next time.
Doctor and I talked and we are, we are,
we're not gonna do that.
just because I don't feel like I need it.
I really
don't.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I felt really good.
At the end of last month, you know,coming off the, the 30 days and, um, I
didn't feel any, withdrawal symptoms orfatigue or restless or anything like that.
So,
I mean, I don't feel the need to stay on
(02:29):
the 300 milligrams, especiallyif I'm gonna feel like that and
it's gonna put me down for the
first two days, you know?
Sure.
I, I'd rather not do that.
Do they have, like,
like,
if you're.
On this for six or
eight months, you're gonna get six or
eight different shots.
So is it just
like
constantly picking a different location?
Yeah.
Like, hey,
like
did they
ask your
permission?
Like, Hey, would you liketo get it here, or here,
(02:52):
or
basically it was like the opposite
side.
She's like, what side did you get it on
last time?
Sure.
She hasn't said anything else.
I know
that in
some people you
can't get it in your arm, you
can get it in your buttocks.
Yeah.
But like, I know for me, I'm a, I'ma fairly tiny person, so I really
don't have much fatty areas like Yeah.
That can handle that.
every time you sit down you get a little
extra medicine.
Yeah.
No, I'm good with that.
(03:12):
And plus it hurts for acouple days afterwards.
It's sore, it's tender and Sure.
Then like I said, this one got bruised
and, you know, I, I gonna belike that every time 'cause
it
Sure.
So, but, I'm doing pretty good
now.
my days are going pretty well,
sleeping great, no headaches,you know, things like that.
Yeah.
And, and I'm liking that and I'm enjoying
(03:33):
the, the,
not having to take something every day and
honestly, Even coming up ongetting the shot, I wasn't
like, oh my God, I gotta get the shot.
I gotta make sure, you know what I mean?
I
wasn't like, you didn't feel like, oh,
this
is wearing
off.
And reaching for somethingI didn't, I was just, I was
fine.
Okay.
And I really liked that.
That felt
like, freedom
me.
Mm-hmm.
that
felt like
real freedom to me, where it's like, I
can see where this is gonna go and I,and I can see myself getting off of it
(03:57):
and just being able to finally be.
Free of
Suboxone.
Yeah.
It's been nine years over that
probably with, between taking
it on the streets and then takingit being, prescribed to me.
Yeah.
So that's something thatI've been tethered for
for a long time.
And yeah.
It's a new chapter in my life.
Yeah.
But it's, it wouldn't be possible if I was
(04:19):
not working a recovery program.
Sure.
Like none of it
would.
It's crazy.
I, uh, the more I'vekind of dug into this,
the more I see like,it, it's almost a fine
print thing where they talk
about, Just all the otherthings that have to go into
you doing a
Sublocade shot or a Suboxone Yeah.
Program.
Like there's other things that you'resupposed to be doing, you're supposed
(04:41):
to, be doing.
to, you know, to benefit yourself,
because, um, you're not doing yourself any
favors.
Mm-hmm.
By not doing the things.
And when I say recovery program, it's
not like you need to
go and just, go get into
a rehab or go.
Sure.
when I say program, I wanna say, Iuse that word loosely, but I don't.
my recovery program is whatI put together every day
(05:01):
for me that's making mylife better, you know?
And I take a little bit fromeverything, a little bit from aa,
a little bit
from any,
you know, I meditate, God, like
I, I
take a, a lot.
From different things.
Yep.
And that's my
recovery program.
Doing something every day to benefit
myself and
(05:22):
being a better person
every day.
Mm-hmm.
Than better than I was the day before.
That's my recovery program.
You know, I'm not saying like you have to,
you know,
follow
the exact
AA manuscript Right.
There's not like a
a certain thing,
and I don't think thereever really has been, I
think na, an AA.
Have been great
for, for the uh, you know, the community.
(05:45):
And I think that program gave people, some
people thrive on
structure.
Absolutely.
And the AA
program is
great because it
gives people a structured way to approach
recovery.
Yeah.
Some people need that hardcorestructure And the sponsor
leading them through and
holding them
accountable.
Yeah.
(06:05):
Some people just need a judge saying,
if
you do
this again, you're out, you'regonna lose your license.
Some people
need
a family member saying, if you
do
this again, we're outta here.
You're outta here.
Uh, they sent me to prison.
Right.
I mean, prison can do it for some
people.
And that's what gave me structure.
Mm-hmm.
And,
um, yeah, everybody, everybody is
(06:26):
recovery program is
gonna be different.
Yeah.
It's gonna look different for so.
Like I said, I see this, I seethis, getting to be where I start
to see a little bitmore freedom in my life.
Mm. And, you know,
that tastes so good too.
Does it does.
Oh, the
freedom part.
Well, it just, it leavesthe future wide open for me.
Yeah.
You know, and I like
(06:48):
that.
I am starting to be able to,
to,
see a future
and addiction.
I didn't, I didn't in the futurethat I, I would see wasn't
good.
Yeah.
You know, so I'm,
you know, coming up on 17 months Yeah.
The 21st of December,
and, um.
I'm still in early recovery.
(07:08):
That's still early recovery.
Sure.
You know, I've heardsome people say it's five
years.
Yeah.
Is early recovery and I'm like, oh man.
You know, like
I can see where they're going with it.
'cause
you're really trying to
put a lot of things together in those
first couple years.
A lot.
And everything in lifeis new because everything
changed.
(07:28):
Well, you're trying
to, first of all get back and, you know,if you have young kids you want, you
wanna try to get them back in your life.
Yep.
You know, you
wanna, um, get a job and get your license,
you know, start, um, buildinga savings account, getting
a place, getting a vehicle.
Yeah.
For some people it might begetting a vehicle and getting
car insurance, you know.
and
then once you start tobuild those things, it's
(07:49):
keeping those things,
Mm.
And right now I'm in that,
that process of building those
and
learning how to keep those.
Yeah.
Learning how to have a budget, you know?
'cause I live at home right now, so Iam in a great position to save money.
Not that I'm make a lot ofmoney 'cause I don't Sure.
But I am taking the steps inmy life to make sure that I
can do things to have a better
(08:10):
job.
Yep.
You know?
Yeah.
And that's early recovery.
It's like investing in yourself, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, and sometimes those rewardsor those payoffs aren't right away.
Mm-hmm.
But sometimes they come like even ayear or two or three down the road
and you're like, man, I'm sure glad that I
invested Yes.
In myself back then,
because now it's
(08:30):
paying off.
Yeah.
It uh,
it's
crazy.
To think back a coupleyears ago on where I was at
and
you know, and how much I've,I've accomplished and, and
you know, a lot of it's internal work too.
Mm-hmm.
Some people forget that alot of it's internal work and
you wanna, you know, build your,your self-esteem and your boundaries
(08:54):
And
self respect and,
you know, a lot of peoplecoming out of addiction, they
are just beat down and just,
they're not who they used to be.
Sure.
And they don't recognize themselves.
Yeah.
So
that's hard to do.
Mm-hmm.
That's hard to come out of that
and, say, oh, I want recovery, or Iwant this, or, I can see a good future.
It's hard to
(09:14):
come, come out of addiction
and, uh,
see a future.
But now I, I'm, I'mstarting to see what a, what
a future can look like
and investing in myself.
Investing
in my community and learningwhat I'm capable of.
Yeah.
And I think everybody can do, everybody
is, is worth it and capableof, of things that they never
(09:35):
thought that they were, you know,
we're a lot stronger than we think we are.
Mm.
Yeah, I think a lot
of times we do, we sell ourselvesshort or, you know, because we're
comfortable with what we know.
Yeah.
And sometimes that fear of the unknowncan just stop people in their tracks.
And, recovery
is this beautiful thing that allows
people to.
(09:56):
Like jump into something brand new.
Yeah.
And see what you're made of.
See what it's all about.
See if you like it.
That's why we do what we doon Friday nights with sober.
Not
boring.
It's,
you know, some nights mightbe painting something.
Some nights might be, a karaoke holiday
singalong the other night,you know, and people
that had never gotten
up and
taken the mic.
Got up and
took the mic.
(10:17):
But they had the
whole group
over here singing with them,you know, which helps, you
know,
it does.
And uh, it's just that experiencelike, Hey, you can get up and do this.
It's, you know, it's practice.
Yeah, for sure.
It's practice.
That's what you
need to do.
Practicing those small littlethings that, that is stepping outta
your comfort zone so that way youhave enough practice, you have
enough, you know, momentum andcourage and self-esteem built
(10:39):
up to where it's like, okay,
the next thing, the bigger thing.
Yeah.
I can't have
enough.
To do that too, and, or I want to
do that too, or I can seemyself doing that too.
Yep.
you know, I never thought,
you know, three years ago that I would
be taking
recovery coach classes or ethicsclasses or, or any of the things.
I never thought I would
(11:00):
have this like, proudfeeling about myself.
Mm. And those are things that, you know,
I wouldn't give up for anything now.
Mm.
Yeah,
it's, uh, yeah, those are the thingsthat makes your recovery full.
Yeah.
part of Heidi's message today was living.
Fully
now.
(11:20):
And that's the ticket is when?
That's recovery.
Yeah.
Sober
is you know, living
but recovery is living
fully
in the present.
Yeah.
Being very present.
Being, not thinking about what you don'thave, not, being worried about what's
happening tomorrow or next month or
what.
(11:41):
You're just doing the next rightthing today and you're fully present.
Where you're at
today?
today?
Yeah, I, um,
I don't,
have my cell
phone
with me a lot of the times.
Like I can set it down and before,um, before I went to prison, you
know, in, in addiction, I hadthat thing with me constantly.
(12:02):
Like it was like somethingthat I was so addicted to.
Sure.
And, um,
since I've gotten home and.
I enjoy my life.
Like I love my life
and
I want to be in my life.
I want to see anythingthat's going wrong around me.
I'm, I'm okay with setting nothing down.
Sometimes I'll go hourswithout even looking
at it, or it'll go off and
(12:23):
I'm, I'll look at it, setit down, and I'll forget
it.
You know, it's not done onpurpose to ignore people or Sure.
Anything like that.
It, but I'm noticing for me,
it's, I enjoy my real life.
I, I
enjoy reality.
Yeah.
So, yeah, for me mm-hmm.
I, it's okay to set that thing down?
(12:44):
No, I probably should get, youknow, a little bit better at
responding to my friends withmy family and things like that.
And, um,
learning how to
balance
things in life, you know, wetalked about having a routine.
Sure.
Building a routine'cause that's big for me.
Mm-hmm.
you know, the reason I, I think I did
good and not.
(13:04):
The reason I think I did well,in the prison setting was
because it was structured.
Sure.
Because it was like I knewwhat time I was eating.
I knew what time thisknew what time meant.
Yeah.
I was in bed by a certaintime and up by a certain
time.
and
I'm trying to find a balance between work.
And home and you know,work in recovery and,
(13:27):
um, being in the places thatI, that I love, like outreach,
and trying to p uh,
I can't even say the word prioritize.
Mm-hmm.
The things in my life.
so that I can figure out my routine.
It's a big thing.
Um, apparently it's a,
it's a healthy thing to have
as a routine in
life.
Mm-hmm.
It's, yeah.
That was one of the things when I went to
(13:48):
the hole, I got sentencedto two years in the hole
and I was there probably not even amonth, and some old timer sent down a
kite and, just introducing himself.
Yeah.
Asking if I needed anything.
And at the bottom of
his thing, he
said.
I'm not
telling you how to do your time, but I
am gonna offer you some advice.
(14:09):
Find a routine
Nice.
Get yourself into a routine
where you're doing something every day.
Give your mind something to look forwardAnd it doesn't matter what time it is, it
doesn't matter what it is,
but just have
something on your schedule.
Okay.
And so
I went to
work at like, okay, at this time I'm gonnawake up and at this time then I'm gonna
(14:31):
maybe work out
for half an hour.
Yeah.
And then I'll clean upmy cell and then I'll
You build.
Yeah.
you know, there was always something.
I'll write a letter,
I'll, I'll
journal,
play, text, whatever journal.
I'll do my crossword
puzzle.
I'll read the paper.
Yeah.
But there was always
something
next That I was like, okay.
There was very rarely I had
time in the hole where I was
(14:52):
like, nothing to do.
Bored.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing to do.
And see, I think that's when your timepasses by a lot slower and a lot worse.
Sure.
Like your time, your timeis what you make of it.
Yeah.
You know?
And, and that's a big thing too.
And I think the same goes
for in real
life, like your time
is what you make it.
Yeah.
And,
I'm struggling with aroutine at this point, only
because I'm working somany different, hours.
(15:14):
Like, you know, sometimes I'llopen, sometimes I'll do mid
shifts, sometimes I'll close.
Mm. So I'm kind of struggling there.
Yeah.
And, uh, I'm
gonna have to talk to my bossesabout that because, it is important
to me to have a routine in my life.
Sure.
And, um, you know,
I wouldn't mind, you know, doinga mid, every, once in a while
or night, whatever it may be.
But I have got to set somethingup to where it's like,
I know, and my body
(15:34):
knows, like, I can't do this 4:00 AM
one day and then workuntil midnight, you know,
two days later.
Right.
Yeah.
Because.
I'm, I'm not capable of doingthat without being exhausted.
Right.
You know, and
I'm not okay with it.
Like I'm, I have boundaries now.
Yeah.
Like, I
can say, This does
not fit in my
schedule.
This does not
fit in my life like
(15:54):
this.
So.
Yep.
Yep.
And you have the right to say
that Yeah.
With,
especially with
an employer like, thatdoesn't work with my
schedule.
Thank you for offering
that.
Right.
Well, and I don't wanna bethe only one that at work that
does
that too.
Sure.
You know what I'm saying?
Um.
I think, and hopefully, youknow, we can all work together
to figure out where it's like,
okay.
we've all got, we know
(16:15):
our roles, we know our
schedules, and we can just keepit like that unless somebody
needs time off, which I'm okay
with doing things like that.
But yeah, routine is
big for me right now.
Yeah.
Um, just, learning how tobalance things in my life.
Yeah.
So
doctor's
appointment.
Was there anything else that cameup in the doctor's appointment while
you were there that stood out to youor any conversations that you had
(16:37):
with your doctor?
we did
talk about
the, the,
um, the
lumps that are leftover from another shot.
And, you
know, she did say
that, um, that's
gonna happen and a lot of
people that, um.
That
can stay about two to three months.
Now with me, she said, because I'm asmaller person, it can a little, it
would take a little bit longer maybe.
(16:57):
Sure.
But nothing to worry about with that.
She said she's neverhad anybody that has had
issues with it.
Yep.
That she, you know, so
far.
So, yeah, that wasn't a big
concern.
no.
Other than that, thingswent well in the, in the
office, besides how bad it.
hurt.
This time.
I was really surprised by that.
yeah.
Did you ask her at allabout, the drug test thing?
Like dropping,
(17:18):
uh, uh,
failing a drug testfurther down the road, like
after you stop?
Or did that not get brought up?
Uh,
I did bring it up.
Okay.
And
she said,
now here's
the thing you can possibly drop
for.
it's not opiates though.
Okay.
It
would be, it was something else.
I think it was the
the
B bup epinephrine.
And they have to test for it like most.
most drug places, uh, drug
(17:38):
testing places
for courts and stuff are gonnahave that on their panels.
Gotcha.
And
that's where they'll drop dirty at.
Okay.
It's not
for opiates.
Got it.
Um, however, I think she did say
after,
I think she said six to eight monthsafter you, you're completely off the shot.
Yep.
it should start to go down and
go down and go down.
But there's a halflife
of.
and I don't, I'm not gonnaexplain this, right, sure.
(17:59):
But there's a,
there's a
halflife of
prescription
medications, and then there's a halflifeof like the, the Suboxone medication.
Yep.
And they're different like theopiate versus the Suboxone.
They're
different.
Okay.
And the halflife between the
suboxone,
the, uh, sublingual stripand the shot is different.
Okay.
So for some reason,
and like I said, I'm, I'm not, I don'treally understand how that works.
(18:21):
Sure.
But I think
that she said the halflife ofthe Sublocade is a lot longer.
That's why it takes a lotlonger to go out to your system.
Mm. I didn't have a chanceto really look into that.
Yeah.
Um, she, she made itseem like it was okay.
And I, and I do understand the,the, the halflife between like
pills and, and Suboxone Sure.
And the different
drugs.
I get that.
Um, it's just a long it takes to,um, start to work in your body
(18:43):
and then how long
it stays in your body and then how
long it stays in your system after that.
Sure.
Yep.
To get out.
So it's, yeah.
It's
kinda, you know.
Okay.
Lot of medical things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll do some diggingaround too and see yeah,
this week like what I can find while
I'm putting this together.
And yeah, there's a lotof that are different
things between, um.
Steve, even just like regular
(19:03):
medications versus a sublingual.
Sublingual and then versus ashot, they're all different
because, you know, they're all
different
things and because they enteryour body in, in a different way.
Yes.
They enter your body differently.
Yeah.
And they're
made differently and, uh, they'remade for specific purposes,
you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So.
Yeah.
I was, uh, surprised to hear aboutthe whole taking the sublingual
(19:24):
strip
and how that
affects the GI system,which we had talked about
the other day.
So, yeah.
You know,
and.
Like I said, when I was on
those and I was
an addiction for the last, you know, inand out for the last, 10 years, I never
really looked into that to understand why.
And I never really thought it was theSuboxone at first, that made me feel that
way.
Mm. And the headaches and,and the grogginess and the
(19:46):
constipation and like the Sure.
The, not the, the stomach justconstantly feeling like I was just.
Oh yeah.
And
I'm so happy that I don't anymore.
That's a
So was a lot of that going away then?
Like
you don't, okay.
Yeah.
I don't feel so weighed down.
I don't feel, so bloated.
I don't feel like.
Like, when I would eatbefore, I could only eat a
(20:07):
little bit, and then I feellike I've eaten like a lot.
Mm. Now I'm
able
to,
to, eat a decent, you know, portion and,
and I feel fine.
I don't feel like the food staying
in my stomach for four days.
Sure.
You know?
Yeah.
Because that's what it felt like.
It felt like I just, everythingwas constantly in my gut.
Yeah.
And, and it just made me feel disgusting,
you know?
Um, I think this, seeing this onCandace Owens every day the other
(20:28):
day, she was talking about probiotics.
I don't know why, buteverything starts in your gut.
Yeah.
And if your gut's not healthy mm-hmm.
Then you're not gonna feel healthy.
Yeah.
And that
starting
to make sense to me.
You know, I'm starting topay attention to my health
and Sure.
and
pay attention to these thingsnow that I am able to Yep.
And now
that I want to, so yeah.
(20:48):
Anything else personally
happening?
Any, uh, ups, downs, goods, bads?
everything's just up at this
point.
my parents bought me,
um, a flat screen SmartTV for, for my room.
Nice.
Just little things, you know.
Um.
things that wouldn'thappen had I not started.
Is that 'cause they weretired of sharing their tv?
Oh,
I don't think theirs.
(21:10):
I think they got tiredof seeing me watch my,
um, watch my stuff on my
computer in my room.
Mm. Because I would like use myphone 'cause for wifi, 'cause
we live in the, in the middle of
nowhere.
so I use
my phone for my wifi, but
I have a computer and that'show I was watching all my shows.
And I think they just
like.
Got tired of seeing me sitting on,sitting on the bed with my laptop
(21:31):
or having it sitting on my dresser.
And it
was, it was, it's kind of small,
so, sure.
You know, they, uh
hmm.
They just, uh,
are really starting tosee the change in me.
Mm-hmm.
You know, and, uh, it's nice justto know that they see it also.
(21:51):
'cause sometimes you can.
'You can do a lot of work on yourself and because a lot of it is
internal, you know, you feel likepeople don't see that, but they do.
Right?
Yeah.
But they do.
Yeah.
Especially if you're around somebodyevery day, it shows up in how you
react
to tense situations.
Yeah.
It shows up in how you handle yourself.
It shows up in how youshow up, how you show up.
(22:12):
Yeah, for
sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So,
um, now things are justreally good and, uh, I'm.
Looking forward to Christmas.
Mm. You know?
Mm-hmm.
For the first time in a long time, I'mgonna buy Christmas gifts, I'm gonna be
at Christmas dinner, I'm gonna do all the,
all the
traditions, and I'm gonna enjoy it.
Mm-hmm.
(22:33):
For the first time in a long time,I get to be around for the holiday.
I'm not saying, God, I wish this was over.
I hate the holidays, or,
you know.
Yep.
You know, last Christmas I was inprison and the one before that, I, uh.
I was alone.
I spent all day
alone.
Didn't hear it from nobody.
Mm. And it was probably the loneliest day.
Mm. That I'd ever had.
(22:54):
You know?
Did you feel like you couldn't reach outbecause of where you were in addiction
at that point and Yeah, I was on the
run.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I I knew my family had enough of my
shit.
Yeah.
So, and I was in addiction.
Yeah.
I was using, so, but I
just.
I just want people to knowthat even if you are in that
situation, your family doeslove you, and they do wanna hear
(23:16):
from you
because I know that I,I would've reached out.
They would've
at, at least asked, how are you?
You know, are you doing okay?
Yeah.
Do you need something?
Do you need, you know, are you okay?
You know, and by,
but you had
convinced yourself like, yeah,I, I wanna hear from Yeah.
I put myself there and I isolated myself.
Mm-hmm.
And, um,
you know, you get, uh, intosome dark places doing that and
(23:38):
yeah.
It's, it's not always as badas sometimes as we think it is,
you know?
Yeah.
Addiction has a way of amplifying,
yeah.
It amplifies certain
things in order to keep you isolated.
Yeah.
Because as long as you'reisolated, that means you'll keep
feeding that
beast.
you'll
keep feeding that, you know, and,
and the holidays
are hard
(23:59):
and, uh, we make it hard on ourselves
and, we do.
Isolate on the holidays, and that'sone of the biggest things that
I, I wish I would've realized was
the
to not isolate myself,especially during the holidays,
because
that's, we lose a lot ofpeople around the holidays.
So if you had a message tothink about, two things here.
(24:21):
Okay.
If you had a message tosomebody that was in your
position going into the holidays.
Back
when you're in
addiction.
Okay.
What kind of advice would you give them?
And then on the flip
side, what kind of advice would yougive to the families of those people?
just going into the holidays,
you know, if a family
(24:41):
has somebody that's in addiction Yeah.
Right now,
somebody that you know thatthey care about, obviously.
What's some good advice that you would
say for that
one?
Reach out.
It's the
holidays.
Your family wants to hear from you, you,
know
that, you're not alone no matterhow alone you think you are.
and
(25:02):
for the families, and, and I know itmight be hard 'cause you might feel
like, you know you've, you'veput your foot down or, you
know, that you don't wanna enable, but.
Supporting them no matter what.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not saying with your money,I'm just saying with your love.
Sure.
Because that was one of the biggestthings to me that I struggled
with was, I felt like my family's
always supported me when I wasdoing great and in recovery.
(25:25):
Sure.
But as soon as I relapsed, I felt
like they were like,
well, we're done with you as soon as you
use, we're, you know, we're done.
and um.
I, I think that that's the hardest spot.
Like you still have to support them.
I'm not saying money, but I'msaying like, don't cut off contact.
Sure.
Don't isolate.
So yeah, it's important.
(25:45):
Yeah.
It's very important just to p let peopleknow like, you have a lifeline here still.
Yes.
Uh, the bridge isn't completely burned.
No.
So, and we do, we, we getto the point where we,
think we've burned every possible bridge.
Mm-hmm.
Um,
and sometimes we have,
but here's the thing, you know.
Those can be rebuilt
(26:07):
as long as you're willing to do the work.
Sure.
You know, it's accountability, first ofall, uh, accountability, first of all.
You know what I mean?
Like, and that sucks'cause I'm the problem.
No, I'm not, I'm not the problem.
It's everybody else, you know?
But yeah, no, accountability's
first taking responsibility for,for your role in, in your life.
Mm-hmm.
And, and
how you've not showed
up and then
(26:28):
start to show up, you know?
'cause people can't wantyour recovery more than you
do.
Yeah.
Anything else?
Recovery wise?
Everything
like, seems like you're going, going good.
It's going good.
Are you sponsoring ormentoring anybody right now?
I'm not at the
moment.
Okay.
there has
been, a few developments in those areas.
(26:48):
Yeah.
But,
um, I am taking my,
my, uh, ethics, uh, class next weekend.
Sure.
Actually, yeah.
Next weekend.
Yep, next weekend.
So, uh,
I'm excited about
that.
Um,
I think, not that
I don't like.
being a sponsor.
Sure.
But I definitely think I would bebetter suited in a recovery coach
role.
Mm. Yeah.
That's how I felt too.
Yeah.
I love
the 12 steps.
(27:09):
We do.
I do.
We talk a lot about them here.
I have,
have a sponsor.
I
love my sponsor.
I'm, I felt like I
was more
suited for the coaching role.
Yeah.
And there's some people that are
just built to be that
sponsor.
And I just never felt like thatwas me as I was going through it.
And I sponsored some people here
Yeah.
Because they needed it and they asked.
(27:29):
but I always felt like my calling was more
in the coaching.
Yeah.
And I, I, um,
I feel like, in a sponsor role,
like I become too
friendly and I feel like in a recoverycoach role, it'll be more of a, a.
A different setting.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
I do like where it's not, where I'm notputting, not that I won't care about
and everybody that I
(27:50):
work with in recovery mm-hmm.
But
like, I can get a little attached Sure.
To people.
And, and that's,
that's, um, something thateven I think everybody
does that, but I feel like I, Iwould be better suited just to being
able to, to really get down to the
to the actual professional part of it.
Yeah.
Like I wanna, yeah.
I wanna do that.
(28:10):
Yeah.
and all you gotta do is justask good questions, right?
Yeah.
Be curious.
Be curious, Curiouserand curiouser, I love.
Yeah.
Anything else?
No, I think we're good.
Okay.
As always, we have to end with the medical
disclaimer.
I'm not a doctor And I'm not a doctor.
We are peer recovery coaches, though, whoare in recovery working a recovery program
(28:33):
Yes.
and part of Stacey's recovery programis her working directly with her
doctor in regards to
transitioning off ofSuboxone, over to Sublocade,
Yes.
and then her plan
of getting off,
of
Sublocade shot
here in
the next few months.
Yes.
that is a plan that she has worked
with her doctor,
So
as we say in
every
episode.
If this is something you are
(28:55):
interested in either getting on
or off Suboxone, gettingon or off, Sublocade,
please go have a conversation with
your doctor.
That's why
those medical professionals are
there.
Mm-hmm.
So that they can
talk you through whatsome of your options are
and what works
best for you.
because each person's recoveryjourney is Absolutely unique.
Absolutely unique.
So
(29:16):
outside of that, been a good week.
It has been a
good week.
We
are, uh, looking forward to a
good week here and, uh,
some haircuts
on Saturday.
Oh, that's
gonna be a fun one.
you know, just livingthe recovery dream here.
We're going rock climbing on Thursday.
Oh Lord.
Oh,
yes.
I'm excited.
There's a lot of things
coming up before.
Before the big Christmas holiday.
(29:37):
Yeah.
And New Year's.
Ooh.
New
Year's.
New Year's.
Yeah.
We're here until 2:00 AM Oh Lord.
That's
gonna, watching the ball drop.
Yeah, we're gonna watch the ball drop.
We might do
some baptisms.
Heidi's gonna be ringing the bell for
her two years,
so, yeah.
Yeah.
So it'll be a good day.
Lovely.
All
right,
friends, thank you so muchfor following along today.
As always, stay
sober.
(29:58):
Not boring.
Not boring.
If you're in recovery from opiates,one of the tools that's out there to
(00:03):
help you through your recovery journey
is suboxone.
And there's also a shot called
Sublocade.
Mm-hmm.
And what we're talking abouttoday is Stacey's journey where
she
is transitioning
from the Suboxone over to
the Sublocade shot andhow that's all going.
And she just
got
her second
shot.
Yeah, my second
one.
Okay.
so how did
(00:23):
that go?
I know
the first one you said it was alittle pinch kind of in the stomach.
Got, did you get it inthe stomach again or?
Yeah,
so they moved from, fromthis side to this side.
Okay.
And this one
hurt.
This one?
Mm-hmm.
Worse than the other.
Way worse Okay.
it
sent me back, actually the nursethat was in there, she was like,
go ahead and take a minute.
And I had to lay there for
a second just to kinda, And it bruised.
Like I have, I have a
(00:44):
bruise about that big on my stomach and
I,
and it's almost the same location,
but like.
You know, pushing all that liquid in
there.
I'm sure
you never know which part of thestomach and nerves or whatever,
whatever could be in that area.
Yeah.
so yeah, it hurt, it hurt pretty bad.
so I took about, uh, a five minute breakand just laid there and was like, okay,
(01:05):
I gotta had pull
it together.
'cause you gotta go to work.
So yeah, it was, it was,worse than I expected,
but.
You know, I mean,
they told me that going in the shot
can hurt.
Is there any initial, immediateafter effect, like you said you
had to go to work, like Yeah.
(01:26):
Is there like a woozy
feeling or is it
just kinda like,
Hey, I just got this shot andI'm going on with my life?
Yeah.
Uh, when
I first got the shot, It just hurt
is what it was.
And, I didn't start, you don't start
feeling the
effects of it untillike, later on that day.
At least I don't,
sure I didn't.
And then that went for
the first one too.
I didn't feel it immediately.
Yep.
but I start to feel it.
You start to feel it throughout the day.
Okay.
Um, and even more that night,and then even more the next day.
(01:49):
this time for me, um, the two daysafter getting it, I just was down.
I did not feel good.
Mm. Um, my sleep was really off
and, When I finally did sleep, I slepthard and then woke up and my stomach
was just really like woozy, like
too much meds.
Um, and
you're on the 300
Yes.
Shot
again this time?
Yes, I did.
And so we are definitely taking it down
(02:09):
next time.
Doctor and I talked and we are, we are,
we're not gonna do that.
just because I don't feel like I need it.
I really
don't.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I felt really good.
At the end of last month, you know,coming off the, the 30 days and, um, I
didn't feel any, withdrawal symptoms orfatigue or restless or anything like that.
So,
I mean, I don't feel the need to stay on
(02:29):
the 300 milligrams, especiallyif I'm gonna feel like that and
it's gonna put me down for the
first two days, you know?
Sure.
I, I'd rather not do that.
Do they have, like,
like,
if you're.
On this for six or
eight months, you're gonna get six or
eight different shots.
So is it just
like
constantly picking a different location?
Yeah.
Like, hey,
like
did they
ask your
permission?
Like, Hey, would you liketo get it here, or here,
(02:52):
or
basically it was like the opposite
side.
She's like, what side did you get it on
last time?
Sure.
She hasn't said anything else.
I know
that in
some people you
can't get it in your arm, you
can get it in your buttocks.
Yeah.
But like, I know for me, I'm a, I'ma fairly tiny person, so I really
don't have much fatty areas like Yeah.
That can handle that.
every time you sit down you get a little
extra medicine.
Yeah.
No, I'm good with that.
(03:12):
And plus it hurts for acouple days afterwards.
It's sore, it's tender and Sure.
Then like I said, this one got bruised
and, you know, I, I gonna belike that every time 'cause
it
Sure.
So, but, I'm doing pretty good
now.
my days are going pretty well,
sleeping great, no headaches,you know, things like that.
Yeah.
And, and I'm liking that and I'm enjoying
(03:33):
the, the,
not having to take something every day and
honestly, Even coming up ongetting the shot, I wasn't
like, oh my God, I gotta get the shot.
I gotta make sure, you know what I mean?
I
wasn't like, you didn't feel like, oh,
this
is wearing
off.
And reaching for somethingI didn't, I was just, I was
fine.
Okay.
And I really liked that.
That felt
like, freedom
me.
Mm-hmm.
that
felt like
real freedom to me, where it's like, I
can see where this is gonna go and I,and I can see myself getting off of it
(03:57):
and just being able to finally be.
Free of
Suboxone.
Yeah.
It's been nine years over that
probably with, between taking
it on the streets and then takingit being, prescribed to me.
Yeah.
So that's something thatI've been tethered for
for a long time.
And yeah.
It's a new chapter in my life.
Yeah.
But it's, it wouldn't be possible if I was
(04:19):
not working a recovery program.
Sure.
Like none of it
would.
It's crazy.
I, uh, the more I'vekind of dug into this,
the more I see like,it, it's almost a fine
print thing where they talk
about, Just all the otherthings that have to go into
you doing a
Sublocade shot or a Suboxone Yeah.
Program.
Like there's other things that you'resupposed to be doing, you're supposed
(04:41):
to, be doing.
to, you know, to benefit yourself,
because, um, you're not doing yourself any
favors.
Mm-hmm.
By not doing the things.
And when I say recovery program, it's
not like you need to
go and just, go get into
a rehab or go.
Sure.
when I say program, I wanna say, Iuse that word loosely, but I don't.
my recovery program is whatI put together every day
(05:01):
for me that's making mylife better, you know?
And I take a little bit fromeverything, a little bit from aa,
a little bit
from any,
you know, I meditate, God, like
I, I
take a, a lot.
From different things.
Yep.
And that's my
recovery program.
Doing something every day to benefit
myself and
(05:22):
being a better person
every day.
Mm-hmm.
Than better than I was the day before.
That's my recovery program.
You know, I'm not saying like you have to,
you know,
follow
the exact
AA manuscript Right.
There's not like a
a certain thing,
and I don't think thereever really has been, I
think na, an AA.
Have been great
for, for the uh, you know, the community.
(05:45):
And I think that program gave people, some
people thrive on
structure.
Absolutely.
And the AA
program is
great because it
gives people a structured way to approach
recovery.
Yeah.
Some people need that hardcorestructure And the sponsor
leading them through and
holding them
accountable.
Yeah.
(06:05):
Some people just need a judge saying,
if
you do
this again, you're out, you'regonna lose your license.
Some people
need
a family member saying, if you
do
this again, we're outta here.
You're outta here.
Uh, they sent me to prison.
Right.
I mean, prison can do it for some
people.
And that's what gave me structure.
Mm-hmm.
And,
um, yeah, everybody, everybody is
(06:26):
recovery program is
gonna be different.
Yeah.
It's gonna look different for so.
Like I said, I see this, I seethis, getting to be where I start
to see a little bitmore freedom in my life.
Mm. And, you know,
that tastes so good too.
Does it does.
Oh, the
freedom part.
Well, it just, it leavesthe future wide open for me.
Yeah.
You know, and I like
(06:48):
that.
I am starting to be able to,
to,
see a future
and addiction.
I didn't, I didn't in the futurethat I, I would see wasn't
good.
Yeah.
You know, so I'm,
you know, coming up on 17 months Yeah.
The 21st of December,
and, um.
I'm still in early recovery.
(07:08):
That's still early recovery.
Sure.
You know, I've heardsome people say it's five
years.
Yeah.
Is early recovery and I'm like, oh man.
You know, like
I can see where they're going with it.
'cause
you're really trying to
put a lot of things together in those
first couple years.
A lot.
And everything in lifeis new because everything
changed.
(07:28):
Well, you're trying
to, first of all get back and, you know,if you have young kids you want, you
wanna try to get them back in your life.
Yep.
You know, you
wanna, um, get a job and get your license,
you know, start, um, buildinga savings account, getting
a place, getting a vehicle.
Yeah.
For some people it might begetting a vehicle and getting
car insurance, you know.
and
then once you start tobuild those things, it's
(07:49):
keeping those things,
Mm.
And right now I'm in that,
that process of building those
and
learning how to keep those.
Yeah.
Learning how to have a budget, you know?
'cause I live at home right now, so Iam in a great position to save money.
Not that I'm make a lot ofmoney 'cause I don't Sure.
But I am taking the steps inmy life to make sure that I
can do things to have a better
(08:10):
job.
Yep.
You know?
Yeah.
And that's early recovery.
It's like investing in yourself, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's, and sometimes those rewardsor those payoffs aren't right away.
Mm-hmm.
But sometimes they come like even ayear or two or three down the road
and you're like, man, I'm sure glad that I
invested Yes.
In myself back then,
because now it's
(08:30):
paying off.
Yeah.
It uh,
it's
crazy.
To think back a coupleyears ago on where I was at
and
you know, and how much I've,I've accomplished and, and
you know, a lot of it's internal work too.
Mm-hmm.
Some people forget that alot of it's internal work and
you wanna, you know, build your,your self-esteem and your boundaries
(08:54):
And
self respect and,
you know, a lot of peoplecoming out of addiction, they
are just beat down and just,
they're not who they used to be.
Sure.
And they don't recognize themselves.
Yeah.
So
that's hard to do.
Mm-hmm.
That's hard to come out of that
and, say, oh, I want recovery, or Iwant this, or, I can see a good future.
It's hard to
(09:14):
come, come out of addiction
and, uh,
see a future.
But now I, I'm, I'mstarting to see what a, what
a future can look like
and investing in myself.
Investing
in my community and learningwhat I'm capable of.
Yeah.
And I think everybody can do, everybody
is, is worth it and capableof, of things that they never
(09:35):
thought that they were, you know,
we're a lot stronger than we think we are.
Mm.
Yeah, I think a lot
of times we do, we sell ourselvesshort or, you know, because we're
comfortable with what we know.
Yeah.
And sometimes that fear of the unknowncan just stop people in their tracks.
And, recovery
is this beautiful thing that allows
people to.
(09:56):
Like jump into something brand new.
Yeah.
And see what you're made of.
See what it's all about.
See if you like it.
That's why we do what we doon Friday nights with sober.
Not
boring.
It's,
you know, some nights mightbe painting something.
Some nights might be, a karaoke holiday
singalong the other night,you know, and people
that had never gotten
up and
taken the mic.
Got up and
took the mic.
(10:17):
But they had the
whole group
over here singing with them,you know, which helps, you
know,
it does.
And uh, it's just that experiencelike, Hey, you can get up and do this.
It's, you know, it's practice.
Yeah, for sure.
It's practice.
That's what you
need to do.
Practicing those small littlethings that, that is stepping outta
your comfort zone so that way youhave enough practice, you have
enough, you know, momentum andcourage and self-esteem built
(10:39):
up to where it's like, okay,
the next thing, the bigger thing.
Yeah.
I can't have
enough.
To do that too, and, or I want to
do that too, or I can seemyself doing that too.
Yep.
you know, I never thought,
you know, three years ago that I would
be taking
recovery coach classes or ethicsclasses or, or any of the things.
I never thought I would
(11:00):
have this like, proudfeeling about myself.
Mm. And those are things that, you know,
I wouldn't give up for anything now.
Mm.
Yeah,
it's, uh, yeah, those are the thingsthat makes your recovery full.
Yeah.
part of Heidi's message today was living.
Fully
now.
(11:20):
And that's the ticket is when?
That's recovery.
Yeah.
Sober
is you know, living
but recovery is living
fully
in the present.
Yeah.
Being very present.
Being, not thinking about what you don'thave, not, being worried about what's
happening tomorrow or next month or
what.
(11:41):
You're just doing the next rightthing today and you're fully present.
Where you're at
today?
today?
Yeah, I, um,
I don't,
have my cell
phone
with me a lot of the times.
Like I can set it down and before,um, before I went to prison, you
know, in, in addiction, I hadthat thing with me constantly.
(12:02):
Like it was like somethingthat I was so addicted to.
Sure.
And, um,
since I've gotten home and.
I enjoy my life.
Like I love my life
and
I want to be in my life.
I want to see anythingthat's going wrong around me.
I'm, I'm okay with setting nothing down.
Sometimes I'll go hourswithout even looking
at it, or it'll go off and
(12:23):
I'm, I'll look at it, setit down, and I'll forget
it.
You know, it's not done onpurpose to ignore people or Sure.
Anything like that.
It, but I'm noticing for me,
it's, I enjoy my real life.
I, I
enjoy reality.
Yeah.
So, yeah, for me mm-hmm.
I, it's okay to set that thing down?
(12:44):
No, I probably should get, youknow, a little bit better at
responding to my friends withmy family and things like that.
And, um,
learning how to
balance
things in life, you know, wetalked about having a routine.
Sure.
Building a routine'cause that's big for me.
Mm-hmm.
you know, the reason I, I think I did
good and not.
(13:04):
The reason I think I did well,in the prison setting was
because it was structured.
Sure.
Because it was like I knewwhat time I was eating.
I knew what time thisknew what time meant.
Yeah.
I was in bed by a certaintime and up by a certain
time.
and
I'm trying to find a balance between work.
And home and you know,work in recovery and,
(13:27):
um, being in the places thatI, that I love, like outreach,
and trying to p uh,
I can't even say the word prioritize.
Mm-hmm.
The things in my life.
so that I can figure out my routine.
It's a big thing.
Um, apparently it's a,
it's a healthy thing to have
as a routine in
life.
Mm-hmm.
It's, yeah.
That was one of the things when I went to
(13:48):
the hole, I got sentencedto two years in the hole
and I was there probably not even amonth, and some old timer sent down a
kite and, just introducing himself.
Yeah.
Asking if I needed anything.
And at the bottom of
his thing, he
said.
I'm not
telling you how to do your time, but I
am gonna offer you some advice.
(14:09):
Find a routine
Nice.
Get yourself into a routine
where you're doing something every day.
Give your mind something to look forwardAnd it doesn't matter what time it is, it
doesn't matter what it is,
but just have
something on your schedule.
Okay.
And so
I went to
work at like, okay, at this time I'm gonnawake up and at this time then I'm gonna
(14:31):
maybe work out
for half an hour.
Yeah.
And then I'll clean upmy cell and then I'll
You build.
Yeah.
you know, there was always something.
I'll write a letter,
I'll, I'll
journal,
play, text, whatever journal.
I'll do my crossword
puzzle.
I'll read the paper.
Yeah.
But there was always
something
next That I was like, okay.
There was very rarely I had
time in the hole where I was
(14:52):
like, nothing to do.
Bored.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing to do.
And see, I think that's when your timepasses by a lot slower and a lot worse.
Sure.
Like your time, your timeis what you make of it.
Yeah.
You know?
And, and that's a big thing too.
And I think the same goes
for in real
life, like your time
is what you make it.
Yeah.
And,
I'm struggling with aroutine at this point, only
because I'm working somany different, hours.
(15:14):
Like, you know, sometimes I'llopen, sometimes I'll do mid
shifts, sometimes I'll close.
Mm. So I'm kind of struggling there.
Yeah.
And, uh, I'm
gonna have to talk to my bossesabout that because, it is important
to me to have a routine in my life.
Sure.
And, um, you know,
I wouldn't mind, you know, doinga mid, every, once in a while
or night, whatever it may be.
But I have got to set somethingup to where it's like,
I know, and my body
(15:34):
knows, like, I can't do this 4:00 AM
one day and then workuntil midnight, you know,
two days later.
Right.
Yeah.
Because.
I'm, I'm not capable of doingthat without being exhausted.
Right.
You know, and
I'm not okay with it.
Like I'm, I have boundaries now.
Yeah.
Like, I
can say, This does
not fit in my
schedule.
This does not
fit in my life like
(15:54):
this.
So.
Yep.
Yep.
And you have the right to say
that Yeah.
With,
especially with
an employer like, thatdoesn't work with my
schedule.
Thank you for offering
that.
Right.
Well, and I don't wanna bethe only one that at work that
does
that too.
Sure.
You know what I'm saying?
Um.
I think, and hopefully, youknow, we can all work together
to figure out where it's like,
okay.
we've all got, we know
(16:15):
our roles, we know our
schedules, and we can just keepit like that unless somebody
needs time off, which I'm okay
with doing things like that.
But yeah, routine is
big for me right now.
Yeah.
Um, just, learning how tobalance things in my life.
Yeah.
So
doctor's
appointment.
Was there anything else that cameup in the doctor's appointment while
you were there that stood out to youor any conversations that you had
(16:37):
with your doctor?
we did
talk about
the, the,
um, the
lumps that are leftover from another shot.
And, you
know, she did say
that, um, that's
gonna happen and a lot of
people that, um.
That
can stay about two to three months.
Now with me, she said, because I'm asmaller person, it can a little, it
would take a little bit longer maybe.
(16:57):
Sure.
But nothing to worry about with that.
She said she's neverhad anybody that has had
issues with it.
Yep.
That she, you know, so
far.
So, yeah, that wasn't a big
concern.
no.
Other than that, thingswent well in the, in the
office, besides how bad it.
hurt.
This time.
I was really surprised by that.
yeah.
Did you ask her at allabout, the drug test thing?
Like dropping,
(17:18):
uh, uh,
failing a drug testfurther down the road, like
after you stop?
Or did that not get brought up?
Uh,
I did bring it up.
Okay.
And
she said,
now here's
the thing you can possibly drop
for.
it's not opiates though.
Okay.
It
would be, it was something else.
I think it was the
the
B bup epinephrine.
And they have to test for it like most.
most drug places, uh, drug
(17:38):
testing places
for courts and stuff are gonnahave that on their panels.
Gotcha.
And
that's where they'll drop dirty at.
Okay.
It's not
for opiates.
Got it.
Um, however, I think she did say
after,
I think she said six to eight monthsafter you, you're completely off the shot.
Yep.
it should start to go down and
go down and go down.
But there's a halflife
of.
and I don't, I'm not gonnaexplain this, right, sure.
(17:59):
But there's a,
there's a
halflife of
prescription
medications, and then there's a halflifeof like the, the Suboxone medication.
Yep.
And they're different like theopiate versus the Suboxone.
They're
different.
Okay.
And the halflife between the
suboxone,
the, uh, sublingual stripand the shot is different.
Okay.
So for some reason,
and like I said, I'm, I'm not, I don'treally understand how that works.
(18:21):
Sure.
But I think
that she said the halflife ofthe Sublocade is a lot longer.
That's why it takes a lotlonger to go out to your system.
Mm. I didn't have a chanceto really look into that.
Yeah.
Um, she, she made itseem like it was okay.
And I, and I do understand the,the, the halflife between like
pills and, and Suboxone Sure.
And the different
drugs.
I get that.
Um, it's just a long it takes to,um, start to work in your body
(18:43):
and then how long
it stays in your body and then how
long it stays in your system after that.
Sure.
Yep.
To get out.
So it's, yeah.
It's
kinda, you know.
Okay.
Lot of medical things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll do some diggingaround too and see yeah,
this week like what I can find while
I'm putting this together.
And yeah, there's a lotof that are different
things between, um.
Steve, even just like regular
(19:03):
medications versus a sublingual.
Sublingual and then versus ashot, they're all different
because, you know, they're all
different
things and because they enteryour body in, in a different way.
Yes.
They enter your body differently.
Yeah.
And they're
made differently and, uh, they'remade for specific purposes,
you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So.
Yeah.
I was, uh, surprised to hear aboutthe whole taking the sublingual
(19:24):
strip
and how that
affects the GI system,which we had talked about
the other day.
So, yeah.
You know,
and.
Like I said, when I was on
those and I was
an addiction for the last, you know, inand out for the last, 10 years, I never
really looked into that to understand why.
And I never really thought it was theSuboxone at first, that made me feel that
way.
Mm. And the headaches and,and the grogginess and the
(19:46):
constipation and like the Sure.
The, not the, the stomach justconstantly feeling like I was just.
Oh yeah.
And
I'm so happy that I don't anymore.
That's a
So was a lot of that going away then?
Like
you don't, okay.
Yeah.
I don't feel so weighed down.
I don't feel, so bloated.
I don't feel like.
Like, when I would eatbefore, I could only eat a
(20:07):
little bit, and then I feellike I've eaten like a lot.
Mm. Now I'm
able
to,
to, eat a decent, you know, portion and,
and I feel fine.
I don't feel like the food staying
in my stomach for four days.
Sure.
You know?
Yeah.
Because that's what it felt like.
It felt like I just, everythingwas constantly in my gut.
Yeah.
And, and it just made me feel disgusting,
you know?
Um, I think this, seeing this onCandace Owens every day the other
(20:28):
day, she was talking about probiotics.
I don't know why, buteverything starts in your gut.
Yeah.
And if your gut's not healthy mm-hmm.
Then you're not gonna feel healthy.
Yeah.
And that
starting
to make sense to me.
You know, I'm starting topay attention to my health
and Sure.
and
pay attention to these thingsnow that I am able to Yep.
And now
that I want to, so yeah.
(20:48):
Anything else personally
happening?
Any, uh, ups, downs, goods, bads?
everything's just up at this
point.
my parents bought me,
um, a flat screen SmartTV for, for my room.
Nice.
Just little things, you know.
Um.
things that wouldn'thappen had I not started.
Is that 'cause they weretired of sharing their tv?
Oh,
I don't think theirs.
(21:10):
I think they got tiredof seeing me watch my,
um, watch my stuff on my
computer in my room.
Mm. Because I would like use myphone 'cause for wifi, 'cause
we live in the, in the middle of
nowhere.
so I use
my phone for my wifi, but
I have a computer and that'show I was watching all my shows.
And I think they just
like.
Got tired of seeing me sitting on,sitting on the bed with my laptop
(21:31):
or having it sitting on my dresser.
And it
was, it was, it's kind of small,
so, sure.
You know, they, uh
hmm.
They just, uh,
are really starting tosee the change in me.
Mm-hmm.
You know, and, uh, it's nice justto know that they see it also.
(21:51):
'cause sometimes you can.
'You can do a lot of work on yourself and because a lot of it is
internal, you know, you feel likepeople don't see that, but they do.
Right?
Yeah.
But they do.
Yeah.
Especially if you're around somebodyevery day, it shows up in how you
react
to tense situations.
Yeah.
It shows up in how you handle yourself.
It shows up in how youshow up, how you show up.
(22:12):
Yeah, for
sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So,
um, now things are justreally good and, uh, I'm.
Looking forward to Christmas.
Mm. You know?
Mm-hmm.
For the first time in a long time, I'mgonna buy Christmas gifts, I'm gonna be
at Christmas dinner, I'm gonna do all the,
all the
traditions, and I'm gonna enjoy it.
Mm-hmm.
(22:33):
For the first time in a long time,I get to be around for the holiday.
I'm not saying, God, I wish this was over.
I hate the holidays, or,
you know.
Yep.
You know, last Christmas I was inprison and the one before that, I, uh.
I was alone.
I spent all day
alone.
Didn't hear it from nobody.
Mm. And it was probably the loneliest day.
Mm. That I'd ever had.
(22:54):
You know?
Did you feel like you couldn't reach outbecause of where you were in addiction
at that point and Yeah, I was on the
run.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I I knew my family had enough of my
shit.
Yeah.
So, and I was in addiction.
Yeah.
I was using, so, but I
just.
I just want people to knowthat even if you are in that
situation, your family doeslove you, and they do wanna hear
(23:16):
from you
because I know that I,I would've reached out.
They would've
at, at least asked, how are you?
You know, are you doing okay?
Yeah.
Do you need something?
Do you need, you know, are you okay?
You know, and by,
but you had
convinced yourself like, yeah,I, I wanna hear from Yeah.
I put myself there and I isolated myself.
Mm-hmm.
And, um,
you know, you get, uh, intosome dark places doing that and
(23:38):
yeah.
It's, it's not always as badas sometimes as we think it is,
you know?
Yeah.
Addiction has a way of amplifying,
yeah.
It amplifies certain
things in order to keep you isolated.
Yeah.
Because as long as you'reisolated, that means you'll keep
feeding that
beast.
you'll
keep feeding that, you know, and,
and the holidays
are hard
(23:59):
and, uh, we make it hard on ourselves
and, we do.
Isolate on the holidays, and that'sone of the biggest things that
I, I wish I would've realized was
the
to not isolate myself,especially during the holidays,
because
that's, we lose a lot ofpeople around the holidays.
So if you had a message tothink about, two things here.
(24:21):
Okay.
If you had a message tosomebody that was in your
position going into the holidays.
Back
when you're in
addiction.
Okay.
What kind of advice would you give them?
And then on the flip
side, what kind of advice would yougive to the families of those people?
just going into the holidays,
you know, if a family
(24:41):
has somebody that's in addiction Yeah.
Right now,
somebody that you know thatthey care about, obviously.
What's some good advice that you would
say for that
one?
Reach out.
It's the
holidays.
Your family wants to hear from you, you,
know
that, you're not alone no matterhow alone you think you are.
and
(25:02):
for the families, and, and I know itmight be hard 'cause you might feel
like, you know you've, you'veput your foot down or, you
know, that you don't wanna enable, but.
Supporting them no matter what.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not saying with your money,I'm just saying with your love.
Sure.
Because that was one of the biggestthings to me that I struggled
with was, I felt like my family's
always supported me when I wasdoing great and in recovery.
(25:25):
Sure.
But as soon as I relapsed, I felt
like they were like,
well, we're done with you as soon as you
use, we're, you know, we're done.
and um.
I, I think that that's the hardest spot.
Like you still have to support them.
I'm not saying money, but I'msaying like, don't cut off contact.
Sure.
Don't isolate.
So yeah, it's important.
(25:45):
Yeah.
It's very important just to p let peopleknow like, you have a lifeline here still.
Yes.
Uh, the bridge isn't completely burned.
No.
So, and we do, we, we getto the point where we,
think we've burned every possible bridge.
Mm-hmm.
Um,
and sometimes we have,
but here's the thing, you know.
Those can be rebuilt
(26:07):
as long as you're willing to do the work.
Sure.
You know, it's accountability, first ofall, uh, accountability, first of all.
You know what I mean?
Like, and that sucks'cause I'm the problem.
No, I'm not, I'm not the problem.
It's everybody else, you know?
But yeah, no, accountability's
first taking responsibility for,for your role in, in your life.
Mm-hmm.
And, and
how you've not showed
up and then
(26:28):
start to show up, you know?
'cause people can't wantyour recovery more than you
do.
Yeah.
Anything else?
Recovery wise?
Everything
like, seems like you're going, going good.
It's going good.
Are you sponsoring ormentoring anybody right now?
I'm not at the
moment.
Okay.
there has
been, a few developments in those areas.
(26:48):
Yeah.
But,
um, I am taking my,
my, uh, ethics, uh, class next weekend.
Sure.
Actually, yeah.
Next weekend.
Yep, next weekend.
So, uh,
I'm excited about
that.
Um,
I think, not that
I don't like.
being a sponsor.
Sure.
But I definitely think I would bebetter suited in a recovery coach
role.
Mm. Yeah.
That's how I felt too.
Yeah.
I love
the 12 steps.
(27:09):
We do.
I do.
We talk a lot about them here.
I have,
have a sponsor.
I
love my sponsor.
I'm, I felt like I
was more
suited for the coaching role.
Yeah.
And there's some people that are
just built to be that
sponsor.
And I just never felt like thatwas me as I was going through it.
And I sponsored some people here
Yeah.
Because they needed it and they asked.
(27:29):
but I always felt like my calling was more
in the coaching.
Yeah.
And I, I, um,
I feel like, in a sponsor role,
like I become too
friendly and I feel like in a recoverycoach role, it'll be more of a, a.
A different setting.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
I do like where it's not, where I'm notputting, not that I won't care about
and everybody that I
(27:50):
work with in recovery mm-hmm.
But
like, I can get a little attached Sure.
To people.
And, and that's,
that's, um, something thateven I think everybody
does that, but I feel like I, Iwould be better suited just to being
able to, to really get down to the
to the actual professional part of it.
Yeah.
Like I wanna, yeah.
I wanna do that.
(28:10):
Yeah.
and all you gotta do is justask good questions, right?
Yeah.
Be curious.
Be curious, Curiouserand curiouser, I love.
Yeah.
Anything else?
No, I think we're good.
Okay.
As always, we have to end with the medical
disclaimer.
I'm not a doctor And I'm not a doctor.
We are peer recovery coaches, though, whoare in recovery working a recovery program
(28:33):
Yes.
and part of Stacey's recovery programis her working directly with her
doctor in regards to
transitioning off ofSuboxone, over to Sublocade,
Yes.
and then her plan
of getting off,
of
Sublocade shot
here in
the next few months.
Yes.
that is a plan that she has worked
with her doctor,
So
as we say in
every
episode.
If this is something you are
(28:55):
interested in either getting on
or off Suboxone, gettingon or off, Sublocade,
please go have a conversation with
your doctor.
That's why
those medical professionals are
there.
Mm-hmm.
So that they can
talk you through whatsome of your options are
and what works
best for you.
because each person's recoveryjourney is Absolutely unique.
Absolutely unique.
So
(29:16):
outside of that, been a good week.
It has been a
good week.
We
are, uh, looking forward to a
good week here and, uh,
some haircuts
on Saturday.
Oh, that's
gonna be a fun one.
you know, just livingthe recovery dream here.
We're going rock climbing on Thursday.
Oh Lord.
Oh,
yes.
I'm excited.
There's a lot of things
coming up before.
Before the big Christmas holiday.
(29:37):
Yeah.
And New Year's.
Ooh.
New
Year's.
New Year's.
Yeah.
We're here until 2:00 AM Oh Lord.
That's
gonna, watching the ball drop.
Yeah, we're gonna watch the ball drop.
We might do
some baptisms.
Heidi's gonna be ringing the bell for
her two years,
so, yeah.
Yeah.
So it'll be a good day.
Lovely.
All
right,
friends, thank you so muchfor following along today.
As always, stay
sober.
(29:58):
Not boring.
Not boring.
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