September 7, 2025 • 62 mins
What if adultery isn’t just about cheating on your spouse... but cheating on God?
In this powerful message, Chaplain Heidi Woldhuis unpacks the commandment “Thou shalt not commit adultery” in a way you’ve probably never heard before. This isn’t just about marriage — it’s about covenant, commitment, and what it means to be faithful in every area of life.
“If you are a child of God, then you are His bride — and every time you choose something over Him, that’s spiritual adultery.”
With honesty and grace, Heidi shares her own story, tackles the shame and misuse of scriptures around divorce, and paints a radically redemptive picture of God’s design for love and partnership.
💬 Thought-provoking question: What do your daily choices say about the kind of relationship you have with God?
🎯 Listen, reflect, and engage: 🔊 Podcast episode: https://sobernotboring.podbean.com/ 🗣 Share your thoughts in the comments 📲 Subscribe and follow for weekly messages that challenge and uplift
00:00 Introduction and Opening Prayer 01:34 Discussing the Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery 03:22 Exploring Ephesians: Marriage and Respect 06:36 The Role of Husbands: Love and Leadership 09:24 Reflecting on God's Design for Marriage 15:04 Personal Testimony: Overcoming Abuse and Misinterpretation 23:37 Understanding Divorce in the Eyes of God 31:07 The Importance of Marriage in Faith 31:35 Impact of Parental Relationships on Children 32:17 Fear and Misconceptions About God 33:26 God's Grace and Divorce 35:17 Living a Life of Conviction 39:24 The True Meaning of Commandments 41:58 God's Unfailing Love and Human Relationships
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It is such a beautiful, beautiful thingthat they are doing, and children who
(00:05):
will receive what they're creatingwill be blessed by these littles.
I'm so grateful for Katie who steppedup and said, I wanna hang out with them.
Father, I ask that you be with ustoday as we talk about this commandment
and maybe take a look at it in adifferent way than we usually do.
I'm even grateful today that youscrambled up my brain and said, I've
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got some things I need you to hear.
So you're gonna say them today.
I'm not gonna question you,God, I just said yes, and we're
gonna see what you do today.
I pray, father, that it is you andyou only that is in this space.
I pray that your spirit fills this space,but more especially those that are in this
space, because Father, as we know, we.
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Are the church and we simplygather together in a building
together to talk of you.
I'm so grateful for your son, JesusChrist, who made all of this possible and
who gives to us that hope and assuranceof everlasting life with you in heaven.
In his name, we pray all things.
Amen.
Amen.
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All right.
I'm gonna see what Anne says.
We're gonna just open it up and go for it.
'cause I've not seenanything bad from her yet.
This one looks good.
What if it is not when I learnsomething, but that I actually learn it.
There's some good advice.
(01:28):
Anne knew what she was talking about.
I tell you, you reach a hundredyears old, you know stuff.
So yeah, we're talkingabout this one today.
Thou shalt not commit adultery and Istand up here a minister who is also.
Divorced.
(01:49):
Robert is not my first husband,and I have a past, and we're
gonna talk about this one.
This commandment used to strike fearin my heart because of what was going
to follow what I was gonna hear.
And I'm sure I was not the only one.
In fact, I know I wasn't the only one.
(02:10):
So I sat with this one.
We're gonna take a look at thisin a little bit of a different
way We're going to Ephesians.
I think we all
immediately think of certainthings when we hear this.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
(02:32):
And you're like, well, ofcourse, if you're in a committed
relationship with somebody.
I'm not gonna pick up another relationshipwith somebody else, or I shouldn't.
It's very easy to understand that
it should, if we're following God's way,be an easy thing to follow through on.
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But I dare say in most relationshipsthis has actually been broken.
Even if it's not through a physicalaction, you don't have to actually
leave your marriage, leave yourhouse, or physically be with
somebody else to break this command.
But it goes a lot deeper thanthat, like a lot deeper in it's
(03:15):
the deeper that I wanna talk about.
I wanna talk about the reasonwhy this is so important.
So Ephesians 5 22 through 28, anda lot of wives, if you've had any
experiences like I had in prior churches.
I, I had this used against me andI say used against me 'cause it was
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one of many verses that was used tokeep me in a violent relationship.
All under the guise of that's godly.
So let's just readEphesians 5 22 through 24.
Let's talk about what marriage is.
Wives understand and support your husbandsin ways that show your support for Christ.
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And in my church they stopped right there.
Wives submit yourself to, to yourhusband in all things and that's it.
And they took off from thereand said, no matter what, you
will submit in all things.
And when they said allthings, they meant all things.
'cause I was going through allthings because the way they saw it.
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Their hope was that by me being lovingand nice, maybe this mean person
would learn to be nice someday too,and that this is just my lot in life.
And I'm telling you, thosearen't words from God.
They're just not.
We're gonna continue.
The husband provides leadershipto his wife the way who knows?
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We never know what happens here.
The husband provides leadership to hiswife the way Christ does to his church,
not by domineering, but by cherishing.
So just as the church submits to Christ ashe exercises such leadership wives should
also likewise submit to their husbands
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wives, women.
You're in a relationship andit's a committed relationship.
And in fact, that's what God wants.
If you're in a relationship,God isn't a God of hop from
one to the other relationships.
That's just not what God's looking for.
He's looking for commitment.
And there's a reason, and we're gonnatalk very specifically about that,
but if you are in a relationship, weare called as women to have respect.
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And I sat with that word forquite a while and it's like, God
didn't call me to love my husband.
He said to respect my husband.
So I sit with that and I'm like,well, if I respect somebody, it's
usually easy for me to love them.
I'm like, oh, okay.
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Okay.
But men are also wired in a way,traditionally, where respect
is a building up of them.
Like men love to berespected and supported.
It kind of sets that bar in away where they wanna do more
of that because they like that.
And I know that because myhusband has told me that he
doesn't demand that I respect him.
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And he doesn't have to because I just do.
But we're gonna continue onbecause it's very easy for me to
do that because of what follows.
Let's see what God has to say for men.
Starting in verse 25, husbands goall out in your love for your wives
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exactly as Christ did for the church.
A love marked by giving and not getting.
Christ's love makes the church whole.
His words evoke her beauty.
Everything he does and says is designedto bring out the best of her, dressing
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her in dazzling white silk, radiantwith holiness, and that is how husbands
ought to love their wives and they'rereally doing themselves a favor since
they're already one in marriage.
When you sit with that and youthink about that, who's got
the greater calling on them?
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Because traditionally speaking inchurch, it's been heaped on wives.
We're the we're at fall for the falland because of the fall we are going
to suffer in all of these thingsbecause that's what we earned by that.
But if you actually read theBible in the way, it really
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says, let's go to that fallen.
Who did God ultimatelyhold responsible, Adam?
He held Adam responsible.
Why?
Because of this examplefor marriage that he gave.
He made Adam the head of hisown home in the expectation you
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will love her, like I love her.
That means in that moment when Evedecided to do what that deceiver
offered, Adam was with her.
So tell me why didn'the care enough to say?
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Not in our home.
Where was Adam?
Oh, he was just waiting for her to handit over so he could take a bite too.
Eve didn't escape.
It was the through childbirth andthe pains and all of that, that
God says women will find somesuffering, but the suffering on a man.
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He literally said, you willsuffer from the day you were
born till the day you die.
Because work and labor will be hard.
You will always have to work to bea provider and care for your family.
The ground that you work will bring forthweeds and it's gonna be hard to work.
You know that your weeds are,yeah, they can take over.
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Men.
You have such a high calling on your life.
I can't even fathom that calling to loveyour wife, like God loves his church
and suddenly it becomes this thing.
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I would hope that men and women aren'tlooking at each other and husbands
looking at their wife saying, you need tosubmit to me, says so in the Bible, what
I say goes, I'm the man of this house.
Doesn't matter.
I've made the decision.
This is how it's gonna be.
And I'm gently gonna tell you,if you haven't taken your wife
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into full consideration, at least
as equally as your own opinions,you're not in God's will.
Jesus came here and served thechurch like Jesus came here and
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gave everything to the church.
Did he ever show anger to his people?
Did he sit and gripe at 'em all the time?
Like, I can't believe whatyou're gonna make me do.
Like, do you know what I have to do?
I have to go to the crossbecause you are so horrible.
Like seriously, what's wrong with you?
He was always gentle.
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He was always loving.
He always put others first.
He always cared for them no matterwhat was going on in his life.
And the ultimate example of thatto me, and it's why I am like.
Man, men, until I sat with this,I didn't understand the calling
on your life and it's huge.
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What was Jesus doing on the cross?
Like imagine that you've justbeen nailed to it after everything
else you've gone through.
You are agonizingly suffering,excruciating pain, and you know,
the worst hasn't even come yet.
And what was he doing?
Loving people, making sure hismother would be taken care of.
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That's what he was doing.
That's the kind of love thatmen are called to that kind.
You don't get an out because, well,did you see how my wife was behaving?
Because Jesus saw how his churchbehaved and said, I love her.
She's mine.
Isn't she beautiful?
Oh, I will do anything for her.
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A man is called to hold his wifeup, to build her up, to hold
her in high esteem, not just inpublic where he can show her off.
But in the home behind closed doors, whenpeople aren't watching, that wipe should
be as precious to you as you can possiblyimagine, humanly speaking, because you're
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looking at the relationship of God and us.
I look at Robert very differentlywhen I sit in those thoughts and I
look at him and it's like he's beencalled the leadership in our home.
That doesn't mean heever lords it over me.
He never does.
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He doesn't plow me over.
He doesn't disregard my opinions, andin fact, he actively seeks them out.
He seeks to learn me and takes thetime, even though it's not always in his
nature to quietly sit still and hear me.
But he's actively put that into practice.
Why?
Because he understands that's loving me.
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He's got a million things heshould be doing, and you know what?
He now stops what he's doing.
And recognizes that his wife is hereand just needs his time for a moment.
And you know what?
He sees that as a priority.
That wasn't how it was early on.
It's like, we can talk when I,let me just get this finished
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and then I'll be with you.
Now.
This stuff over herethat's very important.
Is now second important becauseI become more important.
Do you know how that makes me feel?
Because that's exactlyhow that makes me feel.
It makes me feel like I'm worthyof his time, that I am valued
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and treasured and cherished.
And do you know what's happened?
I have respect for my husband thatis endless, even when he is kind
of been a jerk because he allowsme to call him out on that and
he sits and he hears those words.
And do you know what he does?
He immediately cleansup the street with me.
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He owns that and accepts that becausehe's understanding his high calling.
He can't use me having abad day to treat me poorly.
He can't let his two busy scheduletake away the fact that his marriage
and his wife are his priorityand in return because he actively
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is working so hard to be that.
To me, I have no justificationon my bad days to call my husband
a jerk, acting like a fool.
And I've said that at times.
I've said that at times.
I've on occasion, and I, I don'toften complain about my husband.
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I have a couple times like, ugh.
And I'm ashamed of those momentsbecause it doesn't belong in anybody
else's ear than going to my husband.
It is so easy for me to respectmy husband because of the way he
has chosen to actively love me.
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And do you know what that means?
Because I have so much respectfor my husband, and I know that my
interests are a priority to him.
I couldn't imagine loving ahuman being more than I love
that man because I'm his priority
and that feels so good.
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But then you think about God'slove for his church and that
this thing that I feel is pale incomparison to that kind of love.
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One Corinthians 11, we'regonna read three through 16.
This again, starts with a verse thatthey would start with and then stop.
And again, it's like you're going backhome to that abuse and just keep being
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nice and don't ever say no, becausethen maybe he'll learn from you.
That isn't godly advice.
In a marriage relationship,there is authority from Christ to
husband and from husband to wife.
The authority of Christis the authority of God.
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Any man who speaks with God or about Godin a way that shows a lack of respect
for the authority of Christ, dishonorsChrist in the same way, a wife who
speaks with God in a way that shows alack of respect for the authority of her
husband, dishonors her husband and worse.
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She dishonors herself an ugly sightlike a woman with her head shaved.
And before you're going like, Ooh.
You have to remember context and culture.
It meant something in those cultures.
A woman with her head shaved wasa disgraceful thing for a reason.
We're not gonna go into that now,but we have to remember the culture.
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He is using an analogy that peoplewould understand in those times.
This is basically the originof these customs we have.
We have back then of women wearing headcoverings in worship while men take
their hats off by these symbolic acts.
Men and women who far too oftenbutt heads with each other,
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submit their heads to the head.
Who is God, don't I love this part?
Don't, by the way, read too much into thedifference here between men and women,
neither man nor woman can go it alone orclaim Priority Man was created first as
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a beautiful shining reflection of God.
That is true.
But the head on a woman's bodyclearly out shines in beauty.
The head of her head, herhusband, did you hear that guys
were beautiful compared to you?
As far as God's concernedthe first woman came from?
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Man, that's true.
But ever since then, every manhas come from a woman and since
virtually everything comes fromGod, anyways, let's quit going
through these who's first routines.
Don't you agree there is somethingnaturally powerful in the symbolism.
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A woman, her beautiful hair,reminiscent of angels praying in
adoration, A man his head, bearedin reverence, praying in submission.
I hope you're not going tobe argumentative about this.
All God's churches see it inthis way, and I don't want you
standing out as an exception.
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I loved this because he is writingthis letter because people have
bickered about this since the fall.
I'm the head of you and you have tosubmit, and I don't have to respect you
because of whatever, and on and on andon and on it goes, and it cause such
breaks and fractures in relationships.
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God's blueprint for marriage issuch a beautiful relationship.
Nobody suffers in this.
Nobody's inferior or less than, nobodyis above, not in the way God truly
has it set up in a relationship.
He has it set up this way becausehe knows our natural inclinations
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and we can say all we want to.
Men and women, you know, it'sreally, they think the same.
They're alike.
They're very similar.
And I'm gonna say, and say,and say, no, we're not.
We're wired very differently.
Men naturally have atendency to be fixers.
And I think women who just need totalk about something but weren't
really looking to be fixed often findthemselves being fixed because it's
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natural for men to want to do this.
They're protectors,they're hunter gatherers.
They're fixers.
They're just like, let'sjust make everything better.
Women tell, tend to be nurturingand loving and empathetic, and we
use a lot more words to say thingsand men are like, can we go point
A to point B in a shorter route?
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Like all these things that can causethese little, I know I'm one of
those, I take very scenic journeys.
Robert's patient with that.
But at the end of the day, God callsus to absolutely reverential respect
towards each other, to love eachother selflessly the way he loved us.
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He gave us marriage as an analogyof our relationship with him,
and that's where I wanna go.
I'm gonna watch this a second.
Hopefully I can make thishappen without a mess going on.
So
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I just saw this today, so I'mgonna, oh, there's my, oh dear Kay.
Remember I told you this woman wholoves me like a mama, that was her
every day without fail, she checks in.
I want you to hear this carefully.
I literally, this was the firstthing I saw on my phone when I woke
up today, and it has everything todo with what we're talking today.
So please work.
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So what we issues, this is the end of it.
It'll relo, sorry.
This thing is so hard to beat.
I don't think I can resist anymore.
Would you hit your wife?
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What would you put your hands on?
Your future wife?
I would never do that.
Would you cheat on her the minutey'all got into an argument?
Well, no, of course not.
I would never do that.
Why are you doing that to me
in a relationship?
Loyalty is not seen as somethingyou can't do as the least you can do
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for someone that you say you love.
The church is my bride,Joshua, you're my bride,
and every time you dothis, you're cheating.
Whether you wanna see it that way or not.
This is not a sin that has overtaken you.
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It's a decision that you choose to make.
So what will you choose?
This sin is so hard to be,
get back to where we're supposed to be.
Sorry about that.
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Oh, go, go, go.
Wasn't the smoothest transition.
I found that to be a powerfullittle video because that's
what it really comes down to.
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Malachi two 16, this was the final nail.
Always, this was the wrap up verse.
Every time I tried to meet again with aminister or an elder pleading for help.
So they're like, let'sopen the Bible to Malachi.
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So let's do that.
Malachi two, verse 16, I hatedivorce, says the God of Israel.
God of the angel army says, Ihate the violent dismembering
of the one flesh of marriage.
So watch yourself.
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Don't let your guard down.
Don't cheat
and talk about this one for a while.
'cause I know that this affectsa number of us sitting in here.
I have a feeling I'm not the onlyone that has heard condemnation
because of Malachi too.
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Verse 16.
I have over and over and overand over it again, heard this,
and I'm gonna say right now, rightoff the top, God does not expect you
to submit to ungodly abuse, period.
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And I will continue to say that God hassuch endless infinite love for his child.
He would never say,child, I love you so much.
Lay down like a doormatand let them abuse you.
That is your calling in life becausethose actions of being abused, that's sin.
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And who died to cover that?
So why would God call his childwho he loves so much to be abused
and to continue to be abusedand to accept that and take it.
God does not pair you
with evil.
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I have sat with a thought for years now.
Do not separate what God has put together.
So I sat and I thought about that.
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Human beings are so wired for sin.
We often don't listen toGod when we go our own way.
Correct.
I mean, you can think of lying andwe've all lied or cheated or stolen.
We've been jealous.
We've been envious.
And church corporate is very fullof grace and mercy for those sins.
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Correct.
They're forgiven.
You're readily accepted back.
It's understood.
So I sit with this one, and whileI understand the whole making
promises and vows in that, butif it's not done in God, truly,
if it wasn't a person God wouldhave put you with, is that
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God's design for your life?
Was that the person God wouldcall you to a relationship?
Or did you choose thatbecause of sinful nature?
What God has joined together?
Let no man tear asunder?
I believe that's more KingJames speech right there.
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I can still speak that when I have to.
I can be in thou withthe best of 'em I can.
I carried more guilt and shameand gut wrenching agony, trying
to wrap my head around how can Igo to heaven because I'm divorced.
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And not just once I tried towrap my head around that and I
kept seeing those three words.
I hate divorce.
And God said, but I love you Heidi.
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It's divorce.
He hates because divorce entered intothe world in the fall with all the
other things that we said we'd ratherhave than perfection that God gave us.
Relationships are fracturedand fighting happens.
People may stray or not be walkingclose to God and they're like, this
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person's amazing and I love 'em.
They are not godly, they arenot committed Christians.
They don't worship and believe the sameGod that you do, but you don't care.
'cause I love 'em.
'cause you know, hormonesand all this stuff.
Everything's gonna be fabulousand we're gonna get married.
And then there you are.
In a marriage, unequally yoked.
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I have been unequally yoked, anddesperately tried to stay in it.
You live in a home that's forever filled,both with darkness and a light that
gets smaller and smaller and smaller.
'cause keeping that darkness in yourhome always will start to dim the light.
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It rarely goes the other direction.
And I'm just saying that becauseI've seen it, because I grew up
in a culture where divorce wasn'tpermitted ever for any reason.
And I mean that when I say for any reason.
And if you found yourself outtadesperation doing it, you were
escorted out through excommunication.
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Can't have that sin in our church.
I wanted so much to remind them, butwhat about the other nine commandments?
Can we talk about those?
Is that allowed in thechurch because it's there?
Why is this one not allowed to be here?
I have sinned a lot.
I have made horriblechoices in my relationships.
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Horrible because it wasn't God first.
It was me first, me first.
This is what I want, and God'slike, I'm gonna allow you to
suffer the effects of your choice.
Then it doesn't mean his planfor my life was destroyed and my
husband and my marriage now isliving, breathing, proof of that.
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I still to this day, cannot fathom.
All that went into Robert and Ieven meeting each other in the first
place because everything went againstthat ever happening from an age gap.
The other way from where we lived,our interests, the course his life
took in the course that mine took,nobody would ever have said, those
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two will meet each other and realizethat's my who God put together person.
He is my person.
I have no doubt in my soul becauseof the dynamics of a relationship,
I wasn't not whole without him.
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I was fully whole andRobert was fully whole.
When we met, we were our own person and wewere not seeking somebody to complete us.
I hate that term.
Oh, you complete me.
Well, you better start running then.
Because nobody else can complete you.
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Nobody.
This is why divorce is so prevalent,because there's no thoughts
about these kind of things.
We don't sit and talk about thereally important things, like how are
things gonna be in the nitty grittyday to day life stuff and it's all
fun and games, and then kids show up.
Does that change thedynamics of relationships?
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Wives tend to be mama through and through,often at the expense of husband, and we
can't do that because that relationshipis so vitally important because it's
what is modeled for children, and it'stheir first introduction to who God is.
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How does my daddy love my mom?
And how does my mommy love my dad?
Because now when they hearlove God like Father God.
They, they're like, oh, my daddyis just like, those are the things
your kids will think about for me.
That's why I was so afraid of God.
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Terrified, scared to death.
Like I, I wanted so badly.
Please, I hope I can go to heaven.
But boy, I was so scared 'causeI literally pictured, this is
what I pictured my kid mind.
There's the gate.
Because you just, how startwith the gate, you know?
'cause there's gotta be that, youknow, way to get in turnstile.
I don't know.
And there's this line of people waitingto go and I don't know if somebody's got
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a clipboard and a checklist and I comeup and all of a sudden, there they are.
Oh.
And then they turn around andthen they pull out the giant book
of everything wrong I've done.
And then I'd have to sit there and shame.
Well, not just God and all of Heavenhad to read it, but everybody else too.
And I'm sitting there like, and then Iget sent away because I'm so horrible.
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And that's what my kid mindset, becausemy perspective of father was so skewed.
But it was also skewed by the mommother aspect who is considered
in this analogy as the bride.
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That's how importantmarriage relationships are.
The reason God says these words, I hatedivorce, is because it was never meant
to be this way, because it destroyssuch a beautiful picture of what should
be, but that doesn't mean he willnever allow it to happen because our
(33:44):
God is so good and loving and merciful
because he understands that sometimeswe try to put things together ourselves
and he's he a God that's gonna abandonhim and said, you made your bed.
Now lay in it.
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The deeper I go in my relationshipwith God, I don't serve a God
that tells his people to do that.
That takes such joy in saying, see whathappens when you don't do it my way.
Uhhuh having a lot of fun now, aren't you?
You're just gonna be stuck inthat for the rest of your life.
'cause I will not allow you to escape it.
That's where you're staying.
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This is your life.
This is what you get.
Loving, merciful God there isn't it?
You're gonna be such a wonderfulwitness and example because I can tell
you there is grace and mercy and Godcovering even divorces that happen
that still loves you just as much.
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That has never changed.
He is not waiting to sit and writeyou up when you get to heaven and say,
we're gonna have to talk about thisone and see if you know something's
gonna shift and be different.
Because again, Jesus already knew thatwhen he died for you on the cross.
And if you're sitting heresaying, I just really love God.
Thank you Jesus.
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If you've been divorced, don't be afraid.
He took care of that on the cross.
I think we often forget that it'sall been taken care of already.
So when we do things, we thinkwe have to make up for it.
The only way we have of makingup for it is bringing that to God
and confessing to him and cleaningup your side of the street.
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If you've hurt people, that'sall he's expected us to do
because that's loving people.
So this commandment, it's not so much thatthe priority is these two human beings.
The priority is the fact that God hasalways set marriage as the analogy
(35:51):
of what a relationship to God is.
So in that aspect, if you're a childof God, you can consider yourself
married and you can consider yourselfmarried to the most perfect spouse
you could ever have in all your life.
Will never do wrong, will never fail.
(36:12):
You'll always support, you'll always love.
You'll always, always, alwayswill lay down their life for you.
Without hesitation.
Every single one of us.
So I hate divorce.
What if we start looking at it this way?
Start thinking of yourself.
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All of us guys, get ready.
Consider yourself a bride of Christ,because that's what we're called.
How many ways do we cheat on our husband?
How many ways do we cheat on God?
It starts with, are you fulfillingthe mandate that God has put on you?
(36:53):
Truly?
Like, do you understand thelove that he's called to do?
You know how sacrificial that is?
I feel for you like I meanit when I say a feel for you.
Sacrificial love like thatis so hard because it's not
dependent on your wife's behavior.
(37:14):
It's dependent on your love of God.
Jesus dying for us wasn't dependenton us behaving a certain way.
It was because I love you.
You can't continue to punish your wife.
You can't insult her.
Belittle her.
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Humiliate her, not help herbecause you're too tired.
'cause I worked.
Well, God kind of said in Genesis,you're gonna be tired all your
life 'cause it's gonna be hard.
You're gonna be working every day ofyour life and that means taking care
of your house and relationship too.
That's part of the job
(37:58):
we cheat.
Anytime we stray from what hesays to do, we're choosing someone
else or something else over God.
It's like adultery.
Ah, I have perfect, but I'mgonna go dabble over here.
(38:20):
I wanna sin over here a little bitbecause you know Jesus died in this grace.
If you really know Jesus, thatgets harder and harder and harder
to do, it shouldn't be easy.
To just jump over here andsin a little bit because I'm a
Jesus girl and it's all covered.
(38:42):
It should convict you.
Like I can catch myself doing whateverit may be that I shouldn't be doing, and
I could easily just go on by with it.
It's not a big deal, but it, it isa big deal because it's God and if
he means as much as I say he does, Ineed to be convicted on those things.
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I have to always keep that example inmy mind of God is my husband to have
ultimate respect for him, and thatmeans understanding who he is and living
under how he called me to live becausehe truly knows what is best for us.
We so often look at commandmentsas a list of 10 don'ts.
(39:28):
I don't get to do thisand I can't do this.
How about we get to.
We get to not lie, we get to not cheat.
We get to not steal.
We get to have one true God.
We get to have no other idols.
Make it a positive because if we thinkabout the commandments that way, think
(39:48):
about how beautiful life would be.
Think of life without lying, cheating,stealing, with only God as our
center, with no jealousy, with noenvy, with no adultery, none of it.
How awful would life be underthat if everybody lived that way?
(40:08):
That's why this is so important.
I hate divorce because it breaks upa relationship whose intent was to
be a picture of God and his bride.
And God has said, Iwill never forsake you.
I will never leave you.
(40:34):
That impacts me deeply.
It's not too much for God toexpect these things of us.
It truly isn't.
Some days it's hard.
I get it.
Human beings with all their emotions andmoods and, and all this stuff, I get it.
(40:55):
And God does too.
And he has grace for thosedays if you bring it to him.
But if you don't, he loves us enoughto sit us in that for a while and
he will allow us to understand whathappens when we go our own way.
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If you're anything like me,I've got a whole lot of examples
of me going my own way in thefallout of it, and it wasn't good.
And then after a while you try to gofurther and further from God because
that conviction, when you're God's,no matter how far you're straying,
that conviction will eat you alive.
(41:37):
And it did me, so that's why I drank.
It quieted that voice.
But what I was quieting was the spirit.
I'm grateful to this day thateven remnants of the spirit
were always left in me.
He never withdrew fully from me.
And thank you God.
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When you truly belong to God,you will never be without him.
He will always be in you.
When you are spirit filled,you are spirit filled.
It's why the Bible speaks so harshly.
If you are somebody whoknew me, you know me.
(42:20):
You were baptized, you are filled withthe spirit, and then you walk away from
me and say, I don't believe it anymore.
I pity you for what?
Waits for you.
There is a harshness that will comebecause God's like you knew me.
I resided in you, and you said No.
(42:41):
You now say you don'tknow me and you deny me.
There is a righteous anger in thatbecause what did God give up to?
Give you what he gave you?
And when you know that and then say, butthat's what we do when we continue to sin.
(43:04):
God lays out pretty clearly howwe're supposed to live life.
So if you just go on with whateveryou're doing and you don't care.
It's not that big of a deal.
'cause everybody does it.
I'm gonna hop from bed to bed, or I'mgonna just lie to make me look better.
Or just because I don'twant people to know that.
Or, yeah, I might've at self-checkout.
(43:27):
There might've been more in my grocerybag than what the scanner says.
But hey, everybody does it.
And you continue on in life.
If there's not conviction in that, youneed to ask, where's the Holy Spirit?
Because the Holy Spiritis the one who convicts.
But most of the time, if you're notasking that, you probably never will.
(43:48):
And that that was hard to even say.
The absence of the Holy Spiritmeans it's easy for you to
sin because you don't care.
It's all about me, right?
It's only me.
I can decide for myself.
It's my life.
I get to decide for me what I'm gonna do.
I am grateful.
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Now, I used to hate guilt.
I used to hate that feeling when I'vechosen to do something wrong, and then
I sit with that feeling like, Ugh,
ugh.
I used to hate feeling that way somuch, and now I look at it as a gift.
It's God saying, I love you so much thatthis spirit you asked for and that lives
(44:33):
in you will not let your heart sit easy.
So if you deal with those things, sayThank you, God, for remaining in me,
that's our calling.
I had a whole different way togo and I thought it was great
(44:54):
the way it was laid out beforeand it probably was pretty good.
But God said it's moreimportant that you understand.
I'm talking about the relationshipbetween me and you, not human ones.
And that puts us all inthe same playing field.
'cause every single one of us, ifyou're here today because of God, you're
(45:15):
married to God, we're all married,
God hates divorce.
Now think of it in that aspect.
Think of different ways you may divorceGod, I might have filed some paperwork
over the last week or so dealing, 'causeI've been struggling with some anger
(45:40):
and fear and anxiety and worryand it got the best of me.
I lived in, in fear, like physical fearfor the first time in years living in
fight or flight mode 24 hours a day.
And it ate me alive and I wascrumbling under the weight of it.
(46:01):
And finally in the roar andnoise of everything in my head,
God's like I'm right here.
Mm.
But I had this whole list of reasonswhy I was justified in feeling this way.
I wasn't a real good bride 'causeI didn't trust my groom, my
(46:24):
husband, my God, to protect me.
So I wasted how much timeof turmoil I couldn't eat.
I couldn't sleep everywhere I went.
I'm looking around just waiting.
And when you live life in anticipationof those things, it consumes you.
(46:48):
I had to make amends with God.
I had to bring that to Godand tell him, I'm so sorry.
I strayed, I cheated, and Iwent my way instead of your way.
I have nothing.
To fear because of who I am.
(47:09):
I am the bride of Christ.
I am God's daughter.
I am promised eternal life, not this life,not this one, something so much better.
And we have to liveour lives knowing that.
(47:32):
So it's my hope today
that maybe in these commandments,when you think these things and thou
shalt not commit adultery, I hatedivorce, all these things, and maybe
you are somebody that is divorced,is dealing with a rocky relationship,
(47:53):
may not have a real all the things.
Remember ultimately in this Godwasn't talking about two human beings.
He was talking about hisrelationship with us.
That should change it completely.
It should cause us, if we are notmarried and we're in a relationship
(48:15):
and considering it to maybe have reuh, conversations that sound very
different than most would have.
Are we on the same pagewhen it comes to you?
God, God, is this theone you intended for me?
Because boy, he's really handsome andI really love spending time with him.
Or like, isn't she hot?
(48:35):
She's beautiful.
God's like, there's a whole lotmore to them than this exterior.
I put them in.
Do you know their soul?
Do you know their heart and mind?
And are they mine ordo you just want them?
You have to have thoseconversations so you don't
(48:56):
have to potentially look at that.
You have to be willing to go into thoserelationships, willing to do what God
says you have to do if you are a manand it's like, man, I can't wait to
marry this woman, and she's so pretty.
And oh, look at her in that dress.
She's like a dream.
Are you really prepared to love her?
(49:17):
How?
God says you have to.
He didn't say if you feellike it and if she's nice to
you, then treat her like this.
No, he said all the time, 247, no matter what, because the
example he gave to you is Jesus.
And if you can tell me where he'slet you down or loved you wrongly,
(49:41):
then I'll change my mind on the,God didn't give you an out from
that calling, but for wives,
you can't treat your husband poorly.
You can't be disrespectful.
You, you can't be rude.
You can't sit and destroyyour husband behind his back.
(50:03):
'cause I sure hear that a lot.
Wives love to complainabout their husbands.
It's remarkable how much we learn aboutpeople by listening to husbands and
wives, guys get together and complainabout their old lady ball and chain.
Don't ever describe your wife that way.
Look at how God said this beautiful hair.
(50:25):
It reminds me of angels singingpraises and rejoicing in heaven.
So tell me how that's complainingabout your wife at the bar with the
guys or, oh, my wife put on someweight, like not attracted to her.
Well, what, what made youfall in love with your wife?
If it's that exterior, get over yourselfbecause it's what's inside and who they
(50:50):
are that you should fall in love with.
I often wish people could be blinduntil they got married and then
their eyes could be open 'causefall in love with who they are.
On the days it's really difficultto fulfill this calling.
(51:13):
I'm gonna wrap up with this.
I don't even know time.
We might be earlier.
I know everybody's like, shetalks forever and it's hot.
There's days, this is really hard.
Living together.
24 7 for decades on end isn't always easy.
Like you go through everything together.
(51:34):
Hard times and good times.
Kids, if you're blessed with them
on those really difficult days, remindyourself that ultimately your behavior.
And your choices to love somebody.
The way God calls you to is not dependentor because of this other person.
(51:56):
You're doing it because God, I love you somuch because this is such a small thing.
You're asking of mebecause of what Jesus did.
I'm not gonna be too busy anymore tolove, like you said, I have to love.
I'm not gonna say I don'thave to love them because they
were rude and disrespectful.
(52:17):
I'm not gonna say I just can't doanymore today 'cause I am so tired.
I just worked 12 hours andnow I come home to this.
Yes you did.
You did come home to this.
You came home to a family.
That is, I pray God given andit should be a gift to you
(52:41):
to have somebody that God allows youto love that way, what a privilege.
To know and be knownlike that by somebody.
I can tell you hands down ifyou're somebody who's like, but
I've been through so many badrelationships and it hurts so much.
I know.
Oh, I know.
(53:01):
I know how much it hurts.
And I thought they wouldalways be that way.
Relationships suck, and I'm tellingyou, you will change your tune
real quick when you experiencea God put together relationship.
I have said it before when I met myhusband for the first time, and it was
nothing romantic or anything at all.
(53:24):
We simply crossed paths in a businesstype setting, and there was something,
I heard what he said and he hadshared just little snippets of his
story and that, and I still rememberto this day, this feeling on the
drive home, I was so perplexed.
I'm like, something is differentand I feel like my life
(53:45):
changed and I don't know why.
Mm-hmm.
It was that person, itwas that connection.
There was a connection from day oneand we both said it, but we both
fought it because we didn't wannarelationship with anybody because
I was choosing to end my life andonly had to get through some time.
(54:07):
And because Robert had just come out ofsome hurt, we didn't want a relationship.
But then God brought twopeople together that he has
always intended to be together,
I could say, and part of me means it.
(54:28):
I sure wish this would've been myfirst and only relationship, that we
would've had children because theywould've been blessed to not hurt as
much as our kids collectively have.
But I will not say that.
I am gonna say that I'm gratefulfor all the bad that came before.
'cause, man, do I appreciate what I have.
(54:53):
I pray nobody has to experience alot of bad before you get that good
because, A, we already have the best.
We're married to the best of the best.
But don't be in a hurry.
Don't be hasty.
Don't be afraid to take astand because know your worth.
(55:17):
Know your worth.
'cause do you know the grief itcauses to God to watch his beloved
being abused and mistreated?
And it goes both ways.
I have seen husbands absolutelytreated horrifically by their wives.
(55:44):
I am really glad God doesn't dependon us to get it right, to get to him.
'cause it would never happen.
There'd be no reason to be here.
No reason to keep trying because weare epic failures left to our own.
But God in his goodness says,remember, I will never leave you.
(56:07):
I will never forsake you.
So you know what that makes us?
You know we talk in theBible, the woman at the well.
What's the first thingchurches like to say about her?
I know, I know somebody here knows
divorce.
How many times was she divorced?
(56:28):
You've had five husbands.
That was drilled into us everytime I heard that story in church.
She was a wicked womanand had five husbands.
Never bothered to consider how thatmight have been in that culture 'cause
(56:49):
women didn't have the right to divorceanybody that was chosen for them.
And typically women that justtrotted around committing
adultery found themselves on thereceiving end of rocks and stones.
We don't know the reason.
And the reason for that is becausein this story it didn't matter.
(57:12):
Can we stop and think aboutthis the same way as us?
We're no different than thefive times married woman.
And Jesus still comes becausethis is my bride and I love her.
Isn't she perfect and beautiful.
If we can start looking.
At the Bible that way as the love story,it actually is instead of the weapon.
(57:37):
It's often used to be God didn'tsay these words so he could punish
people who had to make that choice.
'cause I can tell you, assomebody who loves God, who made
that choice, it's devastating.
It's not what I wanted.
I wanted the forever thing.
I just didn't wait on God for it.
(57:59):
I am forgiven and God is merciful,and he hasn't changed how he
looks at me this divorce he hates.
Think of it this way, it's, but youknow me and you walked away from me.
I hate that because the wreckage of it,but he also hates it because it's a sin.
(58:22):
That causes such pain for so manypeople that he loves the wife or the
husband, the kids, if they have 'em,and all the other people involved.
That's why he says it, and it's whywe have to approach it so differently.
In my heart of hearts, I know ifpeople took the time to wait for
(58:44):
the one intended for them, thiswould be far less of an issue.
And then once we are in relationshipwith that one, if we choose to live
the way God says to live, husbands,love your wives the way I loved you
and love you, and wives respect yourhusband, because how do we love Jesus?
(59:09):
How do we think about Jesus?
How grateful are we to Jesusfor what he's done for us?
We're called to have that respect.
And that's easy to do whenit's a God relationship.
It is my hope that you see veryclearly that there is a difference.
(59:31):
I will not call anyone in thisplace to submit to abuse or sin or
wickedness because God doesn't callyou to submit to that because God
as our groom doesn't want usto live an adulterous life
in submitting to sinful acts.
(59:53):
In my mind is adulterous againstmy father God because it's not
what he intends for me, nor is anindividual living as a child of God.
It's not always as black and white as wesometimes make things to seem because God.
(01:00:14):
We can't understand himin black and white terms.
He gives us analogies to helpus understand, but then we as
humans have turned it aroundand clubbed each other with it.
Husband's trying to keep their wifeunder control and under their thumb
and doing everything I want, so I don'thave to deal with listening to you
and having to hear this or that andwondering what you wanna do because I
(01:00:35):
really wanna do this and I'm the headof the house, so we're gonna do it.
And wives are all like, but I wannabe the boss and I wanna be in charge.
And I think it's gottabe this way all the time.
And I don't care what he says.
I'm just gonna do thisand spend all this money.
And while whatever it may be, just ew.
(01:00:58):
It's simple, but so incredibly difficult.
Husbands love your wives, like God hasloved us all and wives love your husband.
The way the church is called to love God.
I can't see in any way where alife like that would be suffering.
(01:01:24):
I would think that that would bea life of celebration and joy.
It would be a life where no eyes wouldbe looking anywhere else because you have
everything you could ever want at home.
You have everything you couldever desire in another human being
that lives in the home with you.
And that's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
(01:01:45):
And it's what God promises ifyou just trust him with that.
And with that, I'm finished.
It is such a beautiful, beautiful thingthat they are doing, and children who
(00:05):
will receive what they're creatingwill be blessed by these littles.
I'm so grateful for Katie who steppedup and said, I wanna hang out with them.
Father, I ask that you be with ustoday as we talk about this commandment
and maybe take a look at it in adifferent way than we usually do.
I'm even grateful today that youscrambled up my brain and said, I've
(00:27):
got some things I need you to hear.
So you're gonna say them today.
I'm not gonna question you,God, I just said yes, and we're
gonna see what you do today.
I pray, father, that it is you andyou only that is in this space.
I pray that your spirit fills this space,but more especially those that are in this
space, because Father, as we know, we.
(00:47):
Are the church and we simplygather together in a building
together to talk of you.
I'm so grateful for your son, JesusChrist, who made all of this possible and
who gives to us that hope and assuranceof everlasting life with you in heaven.
In his name, we pray all things.
Amen.
Amen.
(01:08):
All right.
I'm gonna see what Anne says.
We're gonna just open it up and go for it.
'cause I've not seenanything bad from her yet.
This one looks good.
What if it is not when I learnsomething, but that I actually learn it.
There's some good advice.
(01:28):
Anne knew what she was talking about.
I tell you, you reach a hundredyears old, you know stuff.
So yeah, we're talkingabout this one today.
Thou shalt not commit adultery and Istand up here a minister who is also.
Divorced.
(01:49):
Robert is not my first husband,and I have a past, and we're
gonna talk about this one.
This commandment used to strike fearin my heart because of what was going
to follow what I was gonna hear.
And I'm sure I was not the only one.
In fact, I know I wasn't the only one.
(02:10):
So I sat with this one.
We're gonna take a look at thisin a little bit of a different
way We're going to Ephesians.
I think we all
immediately think of certainthings when we hear this.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
(02:32):
And you're like, well, ofcourse, if you're in a committed
relationship with somebody.
I'm not gonna pick up another relationshipwith somebody else, or I shouldn't.
It's very easy to understand that
it should, if we're following God's way,be an easy thing to follow through on.
(02:53):
But I dare say in most relationshipsthis has actually been broken.
Even if it's not through a physicalaction, you don't have to actually
leave your marriage, leave yourhouse, or physically be with
somebody else to break this command.
But it goes a lot deeper thanthat, like a lot deeper in it's
(03:15):
the deeper that I wanna talk about.
I wanna talk about the reasonwhy this is so important.
So Ephesians 5 22 through 28, anda lot of wives, if you've had any
experiences like I had in prior churches.
I, I had this used against me andI say used against me 'cause it was
(03:40):
one of many verses that was used tokeep me in a violent relationship.
All under the guise of that's godly.
So let's just readEphesians 5 22 through 24.
Let's talk about what marriage is.
Wives understand and support your husbandsin ways that show your support for Christ.
(04:04):
And in my church they stopped right there.
Wives submit yourself to, to yourhusband in all things and that's it.
And they took off from thereand said, no matter what, you
will submit in all things.
And when they said allthings, they meant all things.
'cause I was going through allthings because the way they saw it.
(04:29):
Their hope was that by me being lovingand nice, maybe this mean person
would learn to be nice someday too,and that this is just my lot in life.
And I'm telling you, thosearen't words from God.
They're just not.
We're gonna continue.
The husband provides leadershipto his wife the way who knows?
(04:51):
We never know what happens here.
The husband provides leadership to hiswife the way Christ does to his church,
not by domineering, but by cherishing.
So just as the church submits to Christ ashe exercises such leadership wives should
also likewise submit to their husbands
(05:18):
wives, women.
You're in a relationship andit's a committed relationship.
And in fact, that's what God wants.
If you're in a relationship,God isn't a God of hop from
one to the other relationships.
That's just not what God's looking for.
He's looking for commitment.
And there's a reason, and we're gonnatalk very specifically about that,
but if you are in a relationship, weare called as women to have respect.
(05:44):
And I sat with that word forquite a while and it's like, God
didn't call me to love my husband.
He said to respect my husband.
So I sit with that and I'm like,well, if I respect somebody, it's
usually easy for me to love them.
I'm like, oh, okay.
(06:04):
Okay.
But men are also wired in a way,traditionally, where respect
is a building up of them.
Like men love to berespected and supported.
It kind of sets that bar in away where they wanna do more
of that because they like that.
And I know that because myhusband has told me that he
doesn't demand that I respect him.
(06:25):
And he doesn't have to because I just do.
But we're gonna continue onbecause it's very easy for me to
do that because of what follows.
Let's see what God has to say for men.
Starting in verse 25, husbands goall out in your love for your wives
(06:48):
exactly as Christ did for the church.
A love marked by giving and not getting.
Christ's love makes the church whole.
His words evoke her beauty.
Everything he does and says is designedto bring out the best of her, dressing
(07:12):
her in dazzling white silk, radiantwith holiness, and that is how husbands
ought to love their wives and they'rereally doing themselves a favor since
they're already one in marriage.
When you sit with that and youthink about that, who's got
the greater calling on them?
(07:34):
Because traditionally speaking inchurch, it's been heaped on wives.
We're the we're at fall for the falland because of the fall we are going
to suffer in all of these thingsbecause that's what we earned by that.
But if you actually read theBible in the way, it really
(07:54):
says, let's go to that fallen.
Who did God ultimatelyhold responsible, Adam?
He held Adam responsible.
Why?
Because of this examplefor marriage that he gave.
He made Adam the head of hisown home in the expectation you
(08:16):
will love her, like I love her.
That means in that moment when Evedecided to do what that deceiver
offered, Adam was with her.
So tell me why didn'the care enough to say?
(08:39):
Not in our home.
Where was Adam?
Oh, he was just waiting for her to handit over so he could take a bite too.
Eve didn't escape.
It was the through childbirth andthe pains and all of that, that
God says women will find somesuffering, but the suffering on a man.
(08:59):
He literally said, you willsuffer from the day you were
born till the day you die.
Because work and labor will be hard.
You will always have to work to bea provider and care for your family.
The ground that you work will bring forthweeds and it's gonna be hard to work.
You know that your weeds are,yeah, they can take over.
(09:20):
Men.
You have such a high calling on your life.
I can't even fathom that calling to loveyour wife, like God loves his church
and suddenly it becomes this thing.
(09:40):
I would hope that men and women aren'tlooking at each other and husbands
looking at their wife saying, you need tosubmit to me, says so in the Bible, what
I say goes, I'm the man of this house.
Doesn't matter.
I've made the decision.
This is how it's gonna be.
And I'm gently gonna tell you,if you haven't taken your wife
(10:03):
into full consideration, at least
as equally as your own opinions,you're not in God's will.
Jesus came here and served thechurch like Jesus came here and
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gave everything to the church.
Did he ever show anger to his people?
Did he sit and gripe at 'em all the time?
Like, I can't believe whatyou're gonna make me do.
Like, do you know what I have to do?
I have to go to the crossbecause you are so horrible.
Like seriously, what's wrong with you?
He was always gentle.
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He was always loving.
He always put others first.
He always cared for them no matterwhat was going on in his life.
And the ultimate example of thatto me, and it's why I am like.
Man, men, until I sat with this,I didn't understand the calling
on your life and it's huge.
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What was Jesus doing on the cross?
Like imagine that you've justbeen nailed to it after everything
else you've gone through.
You are agonizingly suffering,excruciating pain, and you know,
the worst hasn't even come yet.
And what was he doing?
Loving people, making sure hismother would be taken care of.
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That's what he was doing.
That's the kind of love thatmen are called to that kind.
You don't get an out because, well,did you see how my wife was behaving?
Because Jesus saw how his churchbehaved and said, I love her.
She's mine.
Isn't she beautiful?
Oh, I will do anything for her.
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A man is called to hold his wifeup, to build her up, to hold
her in high esteem, not just inpublic where he can show her off.
But in the home behind closed doors, whenpeople aren't watching, that wipe should
be as precious to you as you can possiblyimagine, humanly speaking, because you're
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looking at the relationship of God and us.
I look at Robert very differentlywhen I sit in those thoughts and I
look at him and it's like he's beencalled the leadership in our home.
That doesn't mean heever lords it over me.
He never does.
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He doesn't plow me over.
He doesn't disregard my opinions, andin fact, he actively seeks them out.
He seeks to learn me and takes thetime, even though it's not always in his
nature to quietly sit still and hear me.
But he's actively put that into practice.
Why?
Because he understands that's loving me.
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He's got a million things heshould be doing, and you know what?
He now stops what he's doing.
And recognizes that his wife is hereand just needs his time for a moment.
And you know what?
He sees that as a priority.
That wasn't how it was early on.
It's like, we can talk when I,let me just get this finished
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and then I'll be with you.
Now.
This stuff over herethat's very important.
Is now second important becauseI become more important.
Do you know how that makes me feel?
Because that's exactlyhow that makes me feel.
It makes me feel like I'm worthyof his time, that I am valued
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and treasured and cherished.
And do you know what's happened?
I have respect for my husband thatis endless, even when he is kind
of been a jerk because he allowsme to call him out on that and
he sits and he hears those words.
And do you know what he does?
He immediately cleansup the street with me.
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He owns that and accepts that becausehe's understanding his high calling.
He can't use me having abad day to treat me poorly.
He can't let his two busy scheduletake away the fact that his marriage
and his wife are his priorityand in return because he actively
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is working so hard to be that.
To me, I have no justificationon my bad days to call my husband
a jerk, acting like a fool.
And I've said that at times.
I've said that at times.
I've on occasion, and I, I don'toften complain about my husband.
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I have a couple times like, ugh.
And I'm ashamed of those momentsbecause it doesn't belong in anybody
else's ear than going to my husband.
It is so easy for me to respectmy husband because of the way he
has chosen to actively love me.
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And do you know what that means?
Because I have so much respectfor my husband, and I know that my
interests are a priority to him.
I couldn't imagine loving ahuman being more than I love
that man because I'm his priority
and that feels so good.
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But then you think about God'slove for his church and that
this thing that I feel is pale incomparison to that kind of love.
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One Corinthians 11, we'regonna read three through 16.
This again, starts with a verse thatthey would start with and then stop.
And again, it's like you're going backhome to that abuse and just keep being
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nice and don't ever say no, becausethen maybe he'll learn from you.
That isn't godly advice.
In a marriage relationship,there is authority from Christ to
husband and from husband to wife.
The authority of Christis the authority of God.
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Any man who speaks with God or about Godin a way that shows a lack of respect
for the authority of Christ, dishonorsChrist in the same way, a wife who
speaks with God in a way that shows alack of respect for the authority of her
husband, dishonors her husband and worse.
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She dishonors herself an ugly sightlike a woman with her head shaved.
And before you're going like, Ooh.
You have to remember context and culture.
It meant something in those cultures.
A woman with her head shaved wasa disgraceful thing for a reason.
We're not gonna go into that now,but we have to remember the culture.
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He is using an analogy that peoplewould understand in those times.
This is basically the originof these customs we have.
We have back then of women wearing headcoverings in worship while men take
their hats off by these symbolic acts.
Men and women who far too oftenbutt heads with each other,
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submit their heads to the head.
Who is God, don't I love this part?
Don't, by the way, read too much into thedifference here between men and women,
neither man nor woman can go it alone orclaim Priority Man was created first as
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a beautiful shining reflection of God.
That is true.
But the head on a woman's bodyclearly out shines in beauty.
The head of her head, herhusband, did you hear that guys
were beautiful compared to you?
As far as God's concernedthe first woman came from?
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Man, that's true.
But ever since then, every manhas come from a woman and since
virtually everything comes fromGod, anyways, let's quit going
through these who's first routines.
Don't you agree there is somethingnaturally powerful in the symbolism.
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A woman, her beautiful hair,reminiscent of angels praying in
adoration, A man his head, bearedin reverence, praying in submission.
I hope you're not going tobe argumentative about this.
All God's churches see it inthis way, and I don't want you
standing out as an exception.
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I loved this because he is writingthis letter because people have
bickered about this since the fall.
I'm the head of you and you have tosubmit, and I don't have to respect you
because of whatever, and on and on andon and on it goes, and it cause such
breaks and fractures in relationships.
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God's blueprint for marriage issuch a beautiful relationship.
Nobody suffers in this.
Nobody's inferior or less than, nobodyis above, not in the way God truly
has it set up in a relationship.
He has it set up this way becausehe knows our natural inclinations
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and we can say all we want to.
Men and women, you know, it'sreally, they think the same.
They're alike.
They're very similar.
And I'm gonna say, and say,and say, no, we're not.
We're wired very differently.
Men naturally have atendency to be fixers.
And I think women who just need totalk about something but weren't
really looking to be fixed often findthemselves being fixed because it's
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natural for men to want to do this.
They're protectors,they're hunter gatherers.
They're fixers.
They're just like, let'sjust make everything better.
Women tell, tend to be nurturingand loving and empathetic, and we
use a lot more words to say thingsand men are like, can we go point
A to point B in a shorter route?
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Like all these things that can causethese little, I know I'm one of
those, I take very scenic journeys.
Robert's patient with that.
But at the end of the day, God callsus to absolutely reverential respect
towards each other, to love eachother selflessly the way he loved us.
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He gave us marriage as an analogyof our relationship with him,
and that's where I wanna go.
I'm gonna watch this a second.
Hopefully I can make thishappen without a mess going on.
So
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I just saw this today, so I'mgonna, oh, there's my, oh dear Kay.
Remember I told you this woman wholoves me like a mama, that was her
every day without fail, she checks in.
I want you to hear this carefully.
I literally, this was the firstthing I saw on my phone when I woke
up today, and it has everything todo with what we're talking today.
So please work.
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So what we issues, this is the end of it.
It'll relo, sorry.
This thing is so hard to beat.
I don't think I can resist anymore.
Would you hit your wife?
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What would you put your hands on?
Your future wife?
I would never do that.
Would you cheat on her the minutey'all got into an argument?
Well, no, of course not.
I would never do that.
Why are you doing that to me
in a relationship?
Loyalty is not seen as somethingyou can't do as the least you can do
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for someone that you say you love.
The church is my bride,Joshua, you're my bride,
and every time you dothis, you're cheating.
Whether you wanna see it that way or not.
This is not a sin that has overtaken you.
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It's a decision that you choose to make.
So what will you choose?
This sin is so hard to be,
get back to where we're supposed to be.
Sorry about that.
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Oh, go, go, go.
Wasn't the smoothest transition.
I found that to be a powerfullittle video because that's
what it really comes down to.
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Malachi two 16, this was the final nail.
Always, this was the wrap up verse.
Every time I tried to meet again with aminister or an elder pleading for help.
So they're like, let'sopen the Bible to Malachi.
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So let's do that.
Malachi two, verse 16, I hatedivorce, says the God of Israel.
God of the angel army says, Ihate the violent dismembering
of the one flesh of marriage.
So watch yourself.
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Don't let your guard down.
Don't cheat
and talk about this one for a while.
'cause I know that this affectsa number of us sitting in here.
I have a feeling I'm not the onlyone that has heard condemnation
because of Malachi too.
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Verse 16.
I have over and over and overand over it again, heard this,
and I'm gonna say right now, rightoff the top, God does not expect you
to submit to ungodly abuse, period.
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And I will continue to say that God hassuch endless infinite love for his child.
He would never say,child, I love you so much.
Lay down like a doormatand let them abuse you.
That is your calling in life becausethose actions of being abused, that's sin.
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And who died to cover that?
So why would God call his childwho he loves so much to be abused
and to continue to be abusedand to accept that and take it.
God does not pair you
with evil.
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I have sat with a thought for years now.
Do not separate what God has put together.
So I sat and I thought about that.
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Human beings are so wired for sin.
We often don't listen toGod when we go our own way.
Correct.
I mean, you can think of lying andwe've all lied or cheated or stolen.
We've been jealous.
We've been envious.
And church corporate is very fullof grace and mercy for those sins.
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Correct.
They're forgiven.
You're readily accepted back.
It's understood.
So I sit with this one, and whileI understand the whole making
promises and vows in that, butif it's not done in God, truly,
if it wasn't a person God wouldhave put you with, is that
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God's design for your life?
Was that the person God wouldcall you to a relationship?
Or did you choose thatbecause of sinful nature?
What God has joined together?
Let no man tear asunder?
I believe that's more KingJames speech right there.
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I can still speak that when I have to.
I can be in thou withthe best of 'em I can.
I carried more guilt and shameand gut wrenching agony, trying
to wrap my head around how can Igo to heaven because I'm divorced.
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And not just once I tried towrap my head around that and I
kept seeing those three words.
I hate divorce.
And God said, but I love you Heidi.
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It's divorce.
He hates because divorce entered intothe world in the fall with all the
other things that we said we'd ratherhave than perfection that God gave us.
Relationships are fracturedand fighting happens.
People may stray or not be walkingclose to God and they're like, this
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person's amazing and I love 'em.
They are not godly, they arenot committed Christians.
They don't worship and believe the sameGod that you do, but you don't care.
'cause I love 'em.
'cause you know, hormonesand all this stuff.
Everything's gonna be fabulousand we're gonna get married.
And then there you are.
In a marriage, unequally yoked.
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I have been unequally yoked, anddesperately tried to stay in it.
You live in a home that's forever filled,both with darkness and a light that
gets smaller and smaller and smaller.
'cause keeping that darkness in yourhome always will start to dim the light.
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It rarely goes the other direction.
And I'm just saying that becauseI've seen it, because I grew up
in a culture where divorce wasn'tpermitted ever for any reason.
And I mean that when I say for any reason.
And if you found yourself outtadesperation doing it, you were
escorted out through excommunication.
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Can't have that sin in our church.
I wanted so much to remind them, butwhat about the other nine commandments?
Can we talk about those?
Is that allowed in thechurch because it's there?
Why is this one not allowed to be here?
I have sinned a lot.
I have made horriblechoices in my relationships.
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Horrible because it wasn't God first.
It was me first, me first.
This is what I want, and God'slike, I'm gonna allow you to
suffer the effects of your choice.
Then it doesn't mean his planfor my life was destroyed and my
husband and my marriage now isliving, breathing, proof of that.
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I still to this day, cannot fathom.
All that went into Robert and Ieven meeting each other in the first
place because everything went againstthat ever happening from an age gap.
The other way from where we lived,our interests, the course his life
took in the course that mine took,nobody would ever have said, those
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two will meet each other and realizethat's my who God put together person.
He is my person.
I have no doubt in my soul becauseof the dynamics of a relationship,
I wasn't not whole without him.
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I was fully whole andRobert was fully whole.
When we met, we were our own person and wewere not seeking somebody to complete us.
I hate that term.
Oh, you complete me.
Well, you better start running then.
Because nobody else can complete you.
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Nobody.
This is why divorce is so prevalent,because there's no thoughts
about these kind of things.
We don't sit and talk about thereally important things, like how are
things gonna be in the nitty grittyday to day life stuff and it's all
fun and games, and then kids show up.
Does that change thedynamics of relationships?
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Wives tend to be mama through and through,often at the expense of husband, and we
can't do that because that relationshipis so vitally important because it's
what is modeled for children, and it'stheir first introduction to who God is.
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How does my daddy love my mom?
And how does my mommy love my dad?
Because now when they hearlove God like Father God.
They, they're like, oh, my daddyis just like, those are the things
your kids will think about for me.
That's why I was so afraid of God.
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Terrified, scared to death.
Like I, I wanted so badly.
Please, I hope I can go to heaven.
But boy, I was so scared 'causeI literally pictured, this is
what I pictured my kid mind.
There's the gate.
Because you just, how startwith the gate, you know?
'cause there's gotta be that, youknow, way to get in turnstile.
I don't know.
And there's this line of people waitingto go and I don't know if somebody's got
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a clipboard and a checklist and I comeup and all of a sudden, there they are.
Oh.
And then they turn around andthen they pull out the giant book
of everything wrong I've done.
And then I'd have to sit there and shame.
Well, not just God and all of Heavenhad to read it, but everybody else too.
And I'm sitting there like, and then Iget sent away because I'm so horrible.
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And that's what my kid mindset, becausemy perspective of father was so skewed.
But it was also skewed by the mommother aspect who is considered
in this analogy as the bride.
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That's how importantmarriage relationships are.
The reason God says these words, I hatedivorce, is because it was never meant
to be this way, because it destroyssuch a beautiful picture of what should
be, but that doesn't mean he willnever allow it to happen because our
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God is so good and loving and merciful
because he understands that sometimeswe try to put things together ourselves
and he's he a God that's gonna abandonhim and said, you made your bed.
Now lay in it.
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The deeper I go in my relationshipwith God, I don't serve a God
that tells his people to do that.
That takes such joy in saying, see whathappens when you don't do it my way.
Uhhuh having a lot of fun now, aren't you?
You're just gonna be stuck inthat for the rest of your life.
'cause I will not allow you to escape it.
That's where you're staying.
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This is your life.
This is what you get.
Loving, merciful God there isn't it?
You're gonna be such a wonderfulwitness and example because I can tell
you there is grace and mercy and Godcovering even divorces that happen
that still loves you just as much.
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That has never changed.
He is not waiting to sit and writeyou up when you get to heaven and say,
we're gonna have to talk about thisone and see if you know something's
gonna shift and be different.
Because again, Jesus already knew thatwhen he died for you on the cross.
And if you're sitting heresaying, I just really love God.
Thank you Jesus.
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If you've been divorced, don't be afraid.
He took care of that on the cross.
I think we often forget that it'sall been taken care of already.
So when we do things, we thinkwe have to make up for it.
The only way we have of makingup for it is bringing that to God
and confessing to him and cleaningup your side of the street.
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If you've hurt people, that'sall he's expected us to do
because that's loving people.
So this commandment, it's not so much thatthe priority is these two human beings.
The priority is the fact that God hasalways set marriage as the analogy
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of what a relationship to God is.
So in that aspect, if you're a childof God, you can consider yourself
married and you can consider yourselfmarried to the most perfect spouse
you could ever have in all your life.
Will never do wrong, will never fail.
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You'll always support, you'll always love.
You'll always, always, alwayswill lay down their life for you.
Without hesitation.
Every single one of us.
So I hate divorce.
What if we start looking at it this way?
Start thinking of yourself.
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All of us guys, get ready.
Consider yourself a bride of Christ,because that's what we're called.
How many ways do we cheat on our husband?
How many ways do we cheat on God?
It starts with, are you fulfillingthe mandate that God has put on you?
(36:53):
Truly?
Like, do you understand thelove that he's called to do?
You know how sacrificial that is?
I feel for you like I meanit when I say a feel for you.
Sacrificial love like thatis so hard because it's not
dependent on your wife's behavior.
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It's dependent on your love of God.
Jesus dying for us wasn't dependenton us behaving a certain way.
It was because I love you.
You can't continue to punish your wife.
You can't insult her.
Belittle her.
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Humiliate her, not help herbecause you're too tired.
'cause I worked.
Well, God kind of said in Genesis,you're gonna be tired all your
life 'cause it's gonna be hard.
You're gonna be working every day ofyour life and that means taking care
of your house and relationship too.
That's part of the job
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we cheat.
Anytime we stray from what hesays to do, we're choosing someone
else or something else over God.
It's like adultery.
Ah, I have perfect, but I'mgonna go dabble over here.
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I wanna sin over here a little bitbecause you know Jesus died in this grace.
If you really know Jesus, thatgets harder and harder and harder
to do, it shouldn't be easy.
To just jump over here andsin a little bit because I'm a
Jesus girl and it's all covered.
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It should convict you.
Like I can catch myself doing whateverit may be that I shouldn't be doing, and
I could easily just go on by with it.
It's not a big deal, but it, it isa big deal because it's God and if
he means as much as I say he does, Ineed to be convicted on those things.
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I have to always keep that example inmy mind of God is my husband to have
ultimate respect for him, and thatmeans understanding who he is and living
under how he called me to live becausehe truly knows what is best for us.
We so often look at commandmentsas a list of 10 don'ts.
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I don't get to do thisand I can't do this.
How about we get to.
We get to not lie, we get to not cheat.
We get to not steal.
We get to have one true God.
We get to have no other idols.
Make it a positive because if we thinkabout the commandments that way, think
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about how beautiful life would be.
Think of life without lying, cheating,stealing, with only God as our
center, with no jealousy, with noenvy, with no adultery, none of it.
How awful would life be underthat if everybody lived that way?
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That's why this is so important.
I hate divorce because it breaks upa relationship whose intent was to
be a picture of God and his bride.
And God has said, Iwill never forsake you.
I will never leave you.
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That impacts me deeply.
It's not too much for God toexpect these things of us.
It truly isn't.
Some days it's hard.
I get it.
Human beings with all their emotions andmoods and, and all this stuff, I get it.
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And God does too.
And he has grace for thosedays if you bring it to him.
But if you don't, he loves us enoughto sit us in that for a while and
he will allow us to understand whathappens when we go our own way.
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If you're anything like me,I've got a whole lot of examples
of me going my own way in thefallout of it, and it wasn't good.
And then after a while you try to gofurther and further from God because
that conviction, when you're God's,no matter how far you're straying,
that conviction will eat you alive.
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And it did me, so that's why I drank.
It quieted that voice.
But what I was quieting was the spirit.
I'm grateful to this day thateven remnants of the spirit
were always left in me.
He never withdrew fully from me.
And thank you God.
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When you truly belong to God,you will never be without him.
He will always be in you.
When you are spirit filled,you are spirit filled.
It's why the Bible speaks so harshly.
If you are somebody whoknew me, you know me.
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You were baptized, you are filled withthe spirit, and then you walk away from
me and say, I don't believe it anymore.
I pity you for what?
Waits for you.
There is a harshness that will comebecause God's like you knew me.
I resided in you, and you said No.
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You now say you don'tknow me and you deny me.
There is a righteous anger in thatbecause what did God give up to?
Give you what he gave you?
And when you know that and then say, butthat's what we do when we continue to sin.
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God lays out pretty clearly howwe're supposed to live life.
So if you just go on with whateveryou're doing and you don't care.
It's not that big of a deal.
'cause everybody does it.
I'm gonna hop from bed to bed, or I'mgonna just lie to make me look better.
Or just because I don'twant people to know that.
Or, yeah, I might've at self-checkout.
(43:27):
There might've been more in my grocerybag than what the scanner says.
But hey, everybody does it.
And you continue on in life.
If there's not conviction in that, youneed to ask, where's the Holy Spirit?
Because the Holy Spiritis the one who convicts.
But most of the time, if you're notasking that, you probably never will.
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And that that was hard to even say.
The absence of the Holy Spiritmeans it's easy for you to
sin because you don't care.
It's all about me, right?
It's only me.
I can decide for myself.
It's my life.
I get to decide for me what I'm gonna do.
I am grateful.
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Now, I used to hate guilt.
I used to hate that feeling when I'vechosen to do something wrong, and then
I sit with that feeling like, Ugh,
ugh.
I used to hate feeling that way somuch, and now I look at it as a gift.
It's God saying, I love you so much thatthis spirit you asked for and that lives
(44:33):
in you will not let your heart sit easy.
So if you deal with those things, sayThank you, God, for remaining in me,
that's our calling.
I had a whole different way togo and I thought it was great
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the way it was laid out beforeand it probably was pretty good.
But God said it's moreimportant that you understand.
I'm talking about the relationshipbetween me and you, not human ones.
And that puts us all inthe same playing field.
'cause every single one of us, ifyou're here today because of God, you're
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married to God, we're all married,
God hates divorce.
Now think of it in that aspect.
Think of different ways you may divorceGod, I might have filed some paperwork
over the last week or so dealing, 'causeI've been struggling with some anger
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and fear and anxiety and worryand it got the best of me.
I lived in, in fear, like physical fearfor the first time in years living in
fight or flight mode 24 hours a day.
And it ate me alive and I wascrumbling under the weight of it.
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And finally in the roar andnoise of everything in my head,
God's like I'm right here.
Mm.
But I had this whole list of reasonswhy I was justified in feeling this way.
I wasn't a real good bride 'causeI didn't trust my groom, my
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husband, my God, to protect me.
So I wasted how much timeof turmoil I couldn't eat.
I couldn't sleep everywhere I went.
I'm looking around just waiting.
And when you live life in anticipationof those things, it consumes you.
(46:48):
I had to make amends with God.
I had to bring that to Godand tell him, I'm so sorry.
I strayed, I cheated, and Iwent my way instead of your way.
I have nothing.
To fear because of who I am.
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I am the bride of Christ.
I am God's daughter.
I am promised eternal life, not this life,not this one, something so much better.
And we have to liveour lives knowing that.
(47:32):
So it's my hope today
that maybe in these commandments,when you think these things and thou
shalt not commit adultery, I hatedivorce, all these things, and maybe
you are somebody that is divorced,is dealing with a rocky relationship,
(47:53):
may not have a real all the things.
Remember ultimately in this Godwasn't talking about two human beings.
He was talking about hisrelationship with us.
That should change it completely.
It should cause us, if we are notmarried and we're in a relationship
(48:15):
and considering it to maybe have reuh, conversations that sound very
different than most would have.
Are we on the same pagewhen it comes to you?
God, God, is this theone you intended for me?
Because boy, he's really handsome andI really love spending time with him.
Or like, isn't she hot?
(48:35):
She's beautiful.
God's like, there's a whole lotmore to them than this exterior.
I put them in.
Do you know their soul?
Do you know their heart and mind?
And are they mine ordo you just want them?
You have to have thoseconversations so you don't
(48:56):
have to potentially look at that.
You have to be willing to go into thoserelationships, willing to do what God
says you have to do if you are a manand it's like, man, I can't wait to
marry this woman, and she's so pretty.
And oh, look at her in that dress.
She's like a dream.
Are you really prepared to love her?
(49:17):
How?
God says you have to.
He didn't say if you feellike it and if she's nice to
you, then treat her like this.
No, he said all the time, 247, no matter what, because the
example he gave to you is Jesus.
And if you can tell me where he'slet you down or loved you wrongly,
(49:41):
then I'll change my mind on the,God didn't give you an out from
that calling, but for wives,
you can't treat your husband poorly.
You can't be disrespectful.
You, you can't be rude.
You can't sit and destroyyour husband behind his back.
(50:03):
'cause I sure hear that a lot.
Wives love to complainabout their husbands.
It's remarkable how much we learn aboutpeople by listening to husbands and
wives, guys get together and complainabout their old lady ball and chain.
Don't ever describe your wife that way.
Look at how God said this beautiful hair.
(50:25):
It reminds me of angels singingpraises and rejoicing in heaven.
So tell me how that's complainingabout your wife at the bar with the
guys or, oh, my wife put on someweight, like not attracted to her.
Well, what, what made youfall in love with your wife?
If it's that exterior, get over yourselfbecause it's what's inside and who they
(50:50):
are that you should fall in love with.
I often wish people could be blinduntil they got married and then
their eyes could be open 'causefall in love with who they are.
On the days it's really difficultto fulfill this calling.
(51:13):
I'm gonna wrap up with this.
I don't even know time.
We might be earlier.
I know everybody's like, shetalks forever and it's hot.
There's days, this is really hard.
Living together.
24 7 for decades on end isn't always easy.
Like you go through everything together.
(51:34):
Hard times and good times.
Kids, if you're blessed with them
on those really difficult days, remindyourself that ultimately your behavior.
And your choices to love somebody.
The way God calls you to is not dependentor because of this other person.
(51:56):
You're doing it because God, I love you somuch because this is such a small thing.
You're asking of mebecause of what Jesus did.
I'm not gonna be too busy anymore tolove, like you said, I have to love.
I'm not gonna say I don'thave to love them because they
were rude and disrespectful.
(52:17):
I'm not gonna say I just can't doanymore today 'cause I am so tired.
I just worked 12 hours andnow I come home to this.
Yes you did.
You did come home to this.
You came home to a family.
That is, I pray God given andit should be a gift to you
(52:41):
to have somebody that God allows youto love that way, what a privilege.
To know and be knownlike that by somebody.
I can tell you hands down ifyou're somebody who's like, but
I've been through so many badrelationships and it hurts so much.
I know.
Oh, I know.
(53:01):
I know how much it hurts.
And I thought they wouldalways be that way.
Relationships suck, and I'm tellingyou, you will change your tune
real quick when you experiencea God put together relationship.
I have said it before when I met myhusband for the first time, and it was
nothing romantic or anything at all.
(53:24):
We simply crossed paths in a businesstype setting, and there was something,
I heard what he said and he hadshared just little snippets of his
story and that, and I still rememberto this day, this feeling on the
drive home, I was so perplexed.
I'm like, something is differentand I feel like my life
(53:45):
changed and I don't know why.
Mm-hmm.
It was that person, itwas that connection.
There was a connection from day oneand we both said it, but we both
fought it because we didn't wannarelationship with anybody because
I was choosing to end my life andonly had to get through some time.
(54:07):
And because Robert had just come out ofsome hurt, we didn't want a relationship.
But then God brought twopeople together that he has
always intended to be together,
I could say, and part of me means it.
(54:28):
I sure wish this would've been myfirst and only relationship, that we
would've had children because theywould've been blessed to not hurt as
much as our kids collectively have.
But I will not say that.
I am gonna say that I'm gratefulfor all the bad that came before.
'cause, man, do I appreciate what I have.
(54:53):
I pray nobody has to experience alot of bad before you get that good
because, A, we already have the best.
We're married to the best of the best.
But don't be in a hurry.
Don't be hasty.
Don't be afraid to take astand because know your worth.
(55:17):
Know your worth.
'cause do you know the grief itcauses to God to watch his beloved
being abused and mistreated?
And it goes both ways.
I have seen husbands absolutelytreated horrifically by their wives.
(55:44):
I am really glad God doesn't dependon us to get it right, to get to him.
'cause it would never happen.
There'd be no reason to be here.
No reason to keep trying because weare epic failures left to our own.
But God in his goodness says,remember, I will never leave you.
(56:07):
I will never forsake you.
So you know what that makes us?
You know we talk in theBible, the woman at the well.
What's the first thingchurches like to say about her?
I know, I know somebody here knows
divorce.
How many times was she divorced?
(56:28):
You've had five husbands.
That was drilled into us everytime I heard that story in church.
She was a wicked womanand had five husbands.
Never bothered to consider how thatmight have been in that culture 'cause
(56:49):
women didn't have the right to divorceanybody that was chosen for them.
And typically women that justtrotted around committing
adultery found themselves on thereceiving end of rocks and stones.
We don't know the reason.
And the reason for that is becausein this story it didn't matter.
(57:12):
Can we stop and think aboutthis the same way as us?
We're no different than thefive times married woman.
And Jesus still comes becausethis is my bride and I love her.
Isn't she perfect and beautiful.
If we can start looking.
At the Bible that way as the love story,it actually is instead of the weapon.
(57:37):
It's often used to be God didn'tsay these words so he could punish
people who had to make that choice.
'cause I can tell you, assomebody who loves God, who made
that choice, it's devastating.
It's not what I wanted.
I wanted the forever thing.
I just didn't wait on God for it.
(57:59):
I am forgiven and God is merciful,and he hasn't changed how he
looks at me this divorce he hates.
Think of it this way, it's, but youknow me and you walked away from me.
I hate that because the wreckage of it,but he also hates it because it's a sin.
(58:22):
That causes such pain for so manypeople that he loves the wife or the
husband, the kids, if they have 'em,and all the other people involved.
That's why he says it, and it's whywe have to approach it so differently.
In my heart of hearts, I know ifpeople took the time to wait for
(58:44):
the one intended for them, thiswould be far less of an issue.
And then once we are in relationshipwith that one, if we choose to live
the way God says to live, husbands,love your wives the way I loved you
and love you, and wives respect yourhusband, because how do we love Jesus?
(59:09):
How do we think about Jesus?
How grateful are we to Jesusfor what he's done for us?
We're called to have that respect.
And that's easy to do whenit's a God relationship.
It is my hope that you see veryclearly that there is a difference.
(59:31):
I will not call anyone in thisplace to submit to abuse or sin or
wickedness because God doesn't callyou to submit to that because God
as our groom doesn't want usto live an adulterous life
in submitting to sinful acts.
(59:53):
In my mind is adulterous againstmy father God because it's not
what he intends for me, nor is anindividual living as a child of God.
It's not always as black and white as wesometimes make things to seem because God.
(01:00:14):
We can't understand himin black and white terms.
He gives us analogies to helpus understand, but then we as
humans have turned it aroundand clubbed each other with it.
Husband's trying to keep their wifeunder control and under their thumb
and doing everything I want, so I don'thave to deal with listening to you
and having to hear this or that andwondering what you wanna do because I
(01:00:35):
really wanna do this and I'm the headof the house, so we're gonna do it.
And wives are all like, but I wannabe the boss and I wanna be in charge.
And I think it's gottabe this way all the time.
And I don't care what he says.
I'm just gonna do thisand spend all this money.
And while whatever it may be, just ew.
(01:00:58):
It's simple, but so incredibly difficult.
Husbands love your wives, like God hasloved us all and wives love your husband.
The way the church is called to love God.
I can't see in any way where alife like that would be suffering.
(01:01:24):
I would think that that would bea life of celebration and joy.
It would be a life where no eyes wouldbe looking anywhere else because you have
everything you could ever want at home.
You have everything you couldever desire in another human being
that lives in the home with you.
And that's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
(01:01:45):
And it's what God promises ifyou just trust him with that.
And with that, I'm finished.
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