February 26, 2024 • 24 mins
In this solo episode with Payton he shares how moving through a period of darkness and depression helped him uncover buried energetic cords to past experiences he needed to release. He also shares how he had a very heartfelt connection with a passed loved one through multiple signs that came through on one of his darkest days. As a reminder that spirit is always there with us and can give us signs and reminders when we least expect it and when we most need it.
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Shayla Within This Life
Payton Blue Heron Medium
Souly Souly Podcast
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome.
You're listening to Souly apodcast, driven by curiosity in
spirituality with intuitive mediums.
Shayla and Payton.
Join us as we ask questions, createconversation, and share in an open
and heart-centered way our personalexperiences and mystical ponderings.
(00:23):
If you're spiritually curious and wannabe a part of the conversation, then
this is the perfect space for you.
This is Souly.
(00:43):
Hello everyone.
Welcome back Souly listeners.
I have another solo episodehere for you all today.
Shayla will be returning.
She just needed to take a little time withfamily, so I thought I would jump on here.
I.
Have had a couple kind of fun,spiritual, interesting experiences
(01:05):
lately that were kind of beautifuland I wanted to share those with you.
some of them, as I have sharedwith others, uh, I kept getting
feedback that they were either in a.
Going through a similar thing,feeling kind of a similar way.
So I thought, well, why not shareit with everyone since it might
be just the energy in which a lotof people have just moved through.
(01:27):
especially now.
It's perfect.
As I'm recording this, we've justentered Pisces season, so moving
out of Aquarius season into Pisces.
Which can be dreamy and be really healingand could be revealing of maybe why we
went through certain stages over thepast, whether that was just the past.
Solar season or is it solar season?
(01:50):
Excuse me, astrologers.
I don't know if that's exactlyhow it's stated, but you know,
the previous zodiac season.
as we move through those, and maybethose are a little more revealing
and a little more difficult andchallenging, we're moving into now
more of an understanding space.
So this actually is very muchconnected with what I was experiencing.
So the first.
Thing I wanted to share is, you know, overthe past, couple months, I, and I think a
(02:16):
lot of people go through this, especiallyit being winter, we have less sunlight.
We just got done with the holidays.
So for some of us that can be uplifting.
For some people it canbe a little more heavy.
But there's still a lot of energy built.
And then it just kind of goes calm,after the first of the year and, and as
we continue to move closer to spring.
(02:36):
but I was just noticing, I was reallystruggling with, a lot of depression and
a lot of feelings that it was just, itwas very heavy and I was really having
trouble identifying what the issue was.
You know, part of it was.
I kept kind of feeling lonely,but I didn't really wanna
change anything about that.
(02:56):
you know, I've got a lot of reallyawesome things happening in my world
and a lot that I'm very grateful for.
So then there's like thisguilt for not, you know, for
feeling unhappy or feeling bad.
It was just this kind of, this likevicious cycle and it felt like, Well,
and what it ended up being is it feltlike these walls were kind of starting
to crumble, that maybe I had put up.
(03:18):
you know, whether it's, you know,things that I've, I have experienced,
maybe I put up some walls forprotection and it just felt like those
walls were starting to crumble and Ididn't have my safeguards in place.
And that just got to be really scaryand that got to be just really heavy.
And what was, what was kindof beautiful at the end.
Is once I, on my, I started toget towards kind of my worst days.
(03:43):
and after walking through those days, I.
It was interesting 'cause I startedhaving these emotions come up,
tied to things that I thoughtI had moved through already.
Situations that, very much helpedlay the brick for those walls.
You know, I started feeling some ofthose come up and I had to really,
kind of look at that whole situationand see how I tend to move through
(04:07):
difficult periods of time in my life.
And I, you know, I'm verymuch a let's, let's solve it.
Let's move through, let's go forward,let's champion this, you know?
I have a lot of grit in my nature.
I can, I can get through a lot, but.
Then it, you know, then sometimesbeing that way, I then don't fully
let all of the emotions flow.
(04:30):
And I was finding for myself thatthere were little pieces of these
emotions that got kind of buriedwithin that, that fortress I
built around my, my heart space.
That fortress I build around myself.
That I, I didn't realize were there.
So as I was kind of moving through this,this heavy, heavy depression, I started,
(04:50):
those emotions started to come up andI started to feel them and I started
to realize, hey, maybe there's piecesof this that still need to be released.
even if I am, mentally past certainsituations or whatever these experiences
were, you know, maybe they left theselittle residual pieces of energy that
(05:11):
needed to be let out so that I couldmove forward safely and in a more
healthy way with having those walls down.
You know, for those of you in thespiritual world or that practice
mediumship or, you know, or connectingor maybe you like to channel higher
energies, I was also kind of finding that,if I had walls up and I, you know, those
(05:32):
walls were maybe tied to trust or, howvulnerable I could be with other people.
Because, you know, in my physical life Iwas, I had went through some experiences
where the people very close to me.
I, I, I felt betrayal.
I felt some, distrust, which, like I said,were the bricks that help build that wall.
I was noticing that, you know, does,does the, how I interact in the physical,
(05:56):
does the, the way I protect myselffrom the physical is that at all.
A similar filter that I'm, havingto go through when I'm connecting
with the spiritual, because,you know, subconsciously it is,
these are other, beings, right?
That are there that I'm trying toconnect with and, and have a bond with
and bring through information and learn.
(06:17):
You know, was, was there some kindof block there because I wasn't
fully being vulnerable and I wasn'tfully able to open up my heart.
even though mentally, again, Iunderstood it all and I could
compartmentalize the different spacesand the different situations, but I
was, I was noticing maybe energeticallysome of this stuff needed to be worked
(06:39):
on so that I could move through it.
So it was kind of beautiful.
It was a bit of a dark night of the soul.
And, you know, through the end it reallywas kind of a tear down a tower moment
in a sense for those of you familiarwith, tarot cards, the tarot deck, a
tower as, you know, something crashingdown to make wave for something new.
So it definitely had alot of that energy to it.
(07:01):
And I'm really grateful for it nowbecause I'm starting to, you know,
I was able to feel that emotion thatI didn't, realize was still there.
And then I could let it flow throughmy energy and let it release the way
it needed to so that it could, itcould start to dissipate a little bit.
and I could make peace withthat energy and maybe make peace
with some of the situation thatmaybe I was still holding onto.
(07:21):
So.
That was really beautiful.
And then this other part of thisstory, which is tied to this whole
moment, which it just floors me,it's, you know, I am a medium.
I connect with spirit constantly.
I receive readings constantly.
I'm constantly practicing withother mediums to help build
and strengthen my abilities.
I take courses.
(07:42):
I'm involved in this communityvery deeply, so I mean, I.
I'm doing this constantly.
This is a large part ofmy, my life at the moment.
And it's so magical andit's so spectacular.
But when you're in it a long timeand the longer you get in it,
it becomes a little more normal.
So it kind of, what did, um,there's someone out there, it's a,
(08:05):
it's a pretty well known psychicmedium that says, after a while,
spirit becomes like an old friend.
Like, it, it's not sosurprising or exciting anymore
because you're used to it.
So about a week ago from my time ofrecording this episode, I was having
probably my heaviest day walking, youknow, like I said, through this, through
(08:26):
this depression and this heaviness,and it was, it was to a point where
I almost couldn't even focus on.
Anything else, it just felt like thisgiant heavy cloud in my energy field
and I couldn't break away from it.
And, I even to the point where,and personally, this is just my
personal belief, this doesn'tmake it right or wrong, it's just
the experience I've had so far.
(08:47):
I don't believe in, you know,negative beings out there.
I don't believe I, you know,I feel like a lot of that.
That we express and talk about these, youknow, evil demons or all this, whatever.
I feel like that's, you know, kind ofexpresses some of the choices and things
that humans do in life, and it doesn'tnecessarily reflect the spiritual world.
(09:08):
That's my personal opinion.
However, I do believe that there isnegative heavy energy out there that
maybe doesn't have, an intelligence to it.
It just.
Is something that we canget kind of stuck in.
'cause I have felt that in my energyfield before and I've had to clean it,
like cleanse my energy before as I've,as I've grown this relationship with my
(09:30):
own personal energy, I've learned thatkind of how to pay attention to that.
And it felt very similar to that.
And no matter what I did, Icould not clear this energy off.
So this day was pretty heavy and I, Iwent to my, my normal daytime job and,
I had plans that evening with, somefriends to go to dinner and I just, I
(09:50):
was so close to canceling these plans.
I just, I was in that state, Iwas like, I just can't right now.
But I was like, you know what,you need to just, just do it.
This will, this is gonna be good.
So get to I, so I end up, it'sa little bit of a drive for
me to get, to this restaurant.
It's this awesome Mediterraneanrestaurant where I live.
I have dinner with these friends.
(10:11):
The energy just kind of shifted, you know,it was good to be around other people.
one of 'em I knew better than, I knewthe wife better than I knew the husband.
So it was really awesometo get to know him better.
You know, we chatted a lot.
It was, it was a great,it was a great evening.
So.
We ended up, you know, our dinner came,we ate all within under an hour, but we
ended up being there for three hours.
(10:33):
just talking and about halfwaythrough, and the way this restaurant's
set up, it's like an open kitchen.
So the kitchen's right there.
the woman that is like the maincook in this kitchen, she comes
over and she brings us thisdessert that was cut into three.
just for the three of us to have, Imean, we had already paid, we were done.
And, you know, she, she droppedit off, said something quick, and
(10:55):
then just kind of walked away.
And, it was just cool.
It was really special and,you know, it was delicious.
So I come home, I drive home,I'm feeling a little bit better.
And I get home and I go to check my mail.
So I, I currently live in an apartmentcomplex and my mailbox is in a different
building, so I don't check it thatoften, but I went to check it when I
got home and there was a package inthere from Texas, and I'm like, I only
(11:20):
know one person that lives in Texas.
And, you know, she has sentme things before, but I was
like, well, it has to be her.
So my, my friend Sonja, which shehas been on the podcast before.
Lovely, lovely, lovely person.
And I get home and I open it up andit's this, this beautiful candle
she made with, she had meltedthese little crystals in it and she
(11:42):
melted all these Greek coins in it.
And it was, and I'm, I'm, I'm gettingready to take a trip to Greece.
And, you know, if you know me, you knowhow much I love anything in Greek culture,
Greek history, Greek language, all of it.
And it was just this candle that I wassupposed to use with a, with a stand that
she made for it, to just set an intentionof, you know, maybe something I wanted
(12:06):
to experience in my trip or just somethings I wanted to come in this year.
And it was just out of nowhere.
And I, so I messaged her and I waslike, Sonja, this was, above and beyond.
I needed this.
Today, like I, I just,it was so thoughtful.
It was, you know, such athoughtful, intentional gift and
for me to get it today, it justfelt, it felt extra special.
So I messaged her and and I thanked her.
(12:28):
So then I, I kind of getsettled 'cause I just got home
and I start scrolling through.
I start cleaning out mynotifications on my phone.
So I go through my email and I seethere's a couple emails from Sonja.
I.
And one of them was to Souly.
She was, sharing how, she very muchresonated with one of the messages
that came through in a card pollfrom a previous couple episodes ago.
(12:51):
and just some experienceshe had, which it was.
So, I, I love when you guys share stuff.
So again, that's another promptwe'd love to hear from you guys.
So please, if you feelinclined, uh, reach out.
And then I went to, she had sentsomething then to my personal
email and I started reading it.
Now I have to give alittle bit of a backstory.
Sonja and I, for a long time now, wedon't do it regularly, but every couple
(13:15):
months her and I will meet and havecoffee over Zoom and we'll pull cards
for each other and catch up and, youknow, share with each other, challenges
or whatever that we're going through.
In the last time, which had been,it was at least a month, if not a
month and a half, two months ago.
we did this.
She practiced some mediumship with me.
(13:35):
She doesn't, she doesn'ttypically do tons of mediumship.
She's a lot more in the psychicand the card and the angel
and the, and the mystical.
She's in that world.
Her practice is there more, but shewanted to do a little bit of mediumship
and she brought through some messagesfrom my grandmother and I, I have
two grandmothers as all of us do.
And one of 'em I knew longerbecause she lived longer.
(13:57):
and I, so I ended upbeing closer with her.
But she's the one that doesn'tseem to come through that
often, and I, that's always.
It's been challenging for me becauseI'm like, I would, you know, you're the
one I would, I would most recognize,where my other grandmother, she come,
I can feel her every time she showsup, so it's just, it's different.
But, so she ended up bringing throughthis grandmother and she and she
(14:18):
had some lovely messages with it.
And you know, that was that.
So that was the last time we had met.
So she emails me and then this email, shegoes, Payton, I need to share with you.
There was something your grandmotherhad said that day that I didn't,
I, I didn't go into detail.
I felt weird about share.
I was too scared to share it.
So, but it just keeps hitting meand I want you to hear it today.
(14:40):
And it was this.
Heartfelt message of love and how muchshe loved me, and it was, it was very
simple, but it was, it was very much fromthe heart, and I lost it because the,
that day was my grandmother's birthdayand when I was driving to dinner.
(15:01):
I got really emotional because I wasthinking about my grandmother and I was
thinking about how, you know, the lasttime I saw her, I, I wish I would've
stayed longer and, you know, then feltguilty as we all do that, we don't spend
enough time with those that we love.
And we don't think about thatuntil after They're gone.
(15:21):
And, you know, it was justweighing heavy on my heart and
I just, and I really miss her.
And so I.
The fact that she randomly sent me first,she sends me this package that happens
to also arrive on my grandmother'sbirthday, and then sends me an email
about this extra message from mygrandmother on her birthday, which she
(15:42):
was not aware that that was her birthday.
It, I could just finally feelmy grandma lean in and, and
come in and give me a hug.
The other really magical part about that.
So I, so my other friend, AndreaAndrea, if you're listening, hello.
Her and I share this stuff.
So I'm messaging her too, and I'm like,oh my God, you're not gonna believe
what just happened, blah, blah, blah.
She, she messaged back and as shewas talking, it then dawned on me
(16:06):
that when we were at that restaurant.
My grandmother was a cook, and that's whatshe, you know, she worked in a kitchen.
That's what she did for in my, as she wasalive when I knew her through my life.
That's what she did until she retired.
And so it kind of dawned on me thatshe had inspired that woman to bring us
that treat at dinner, because that was.
(16:27):
You know, that was what I at leastalways associated with my grandma was
like, you know, she made these awesome,treats for us and these desserts and I
loved, that was just something I loved.
So, it was just beautiful to, and thingsthen just throughout the night kept
like more and more validations kepthitting, but it was just so beautiful
and such a great reminder that.
(16:48):
It doesn't have to be just sitting in amediumistic situation with a reader that
your loved ones can connect with you.
They're, they're trying to connectwith us all the time, and they
will do very magical things inthe right time, in the right way.
I.
So that we're able to receive them theway that we need to in that moment.
(17:10):
Again, like for this to happen onwhen I was having one of my worst
days, I, you know, I couldn't,I, I can't make this stuff up.
I couldn't have asked for a muchmore healing moment in that time.
So, yeah, so that, that is my, thatwas my experience and I just, it
felt like such a beautiful moment.
(17:31):
I wanted to share it with all of you.
I would love to hear about if, ifyou've had experiences like this
or times that, you know, spirithas really surprised you or just.
And that, again, like I was sayingearlier, after a while it becomes,
not that it's less special, but itjust doesn't become as surprising
when you have these moments becauseyou get a little bit used to it.
(17:52):
So to still be able to be in that stateof like, awe and just like, wow, like
it's amazing, you know, it, it was sucha gift and I'm, and I'm so grateful and,
and thankfully since then I'm, you know,the sun is starting to come up again and
things are starting to feel a lot lighter.
yeah, we all, we all have it.
So any of you that have also been goingthrough a heavy period or, it just feels
(18:17):
like there's a weight around your energy.
just have faith and stay true toit and know that there must be
something to be gained or released.
Through this process and to just havefaith in that and just keep going and
keep trying to find, you know, if,if you need those little distractions
or if you need, those little piecesof gratitude to find, to hold onto,
(18:40):
to get you through those moments.
trust me, it will be worth it onceyou get through to the other side.
and as always, and youknow, I do this myself.
If it does get that bad and it gets to apoint that you feel like you need help,
find someone, find someone to talk to.
counseling and therapy has been such ahuge tool for me, and I really, really
(19:03):
believe everyone could use someoneto share with, just to, to let some
things out and just to process thingsthat we go through and, You know,
when we, when we hold everything inand we bottle it up, pieces of that
get stuck inside us, and it makes itharder to move in a more fluid more.
(19:23):
Productively energetic way whenwe have some of these pieces of
things that we've been throughthat just get stuck in our energy.
So it's just, it's so good to beable to let those out and feel
through those and process those.
it doesn't mean that they go away.
We can't erase our experiences,but we can find a way.
(19:43):
To make peace with them, we can finda way to take from them the strength
that we've gained and let go of thepart that, you know, with forgiveness
usually, or with, love and compassion,just let go of the pieces that aren't,
that aren't helping us on our journey.
So if any of you out there,I, you know, there's it.
(20:04):
I know in some placesit's easier than others.
Some places have moreservices than others.
Sometimes it's hard.
I know there are a lot of onlineresources, now available where you can
connect with, counselors and stuff online.
So, please, if you are in a placewhere you're, you're not feeling like
you can get through the, you know,get through it and it's just, it does
feel so heavy just to find someone.
(20:25):
There's, there's, there are lots ofpeople out there that do wanna help.
So I did pull some cards for thisepisode just to see kind of what
came through, and it's, it's veryon theme as, as, as, as expected.
And, this is about the strengthin what we've learned that
helps us feel more grounded andsecure, helps us feel more safe.
(20:48):
And for me personally.
Those walls that I had built up,connected to those situations I had,
the energy that was stuck in there wasactually making me not feel grounded,
you know, not feel secure because thosewalls are up with anticipation of it
happening again, of the disappointmentcoming again, of the pain coming back.
(21:11):
And that's not a, that's notbeing in a place of security
or a place of being grounded.
Which I never thought of it that way.
and I only now see that nowthat I've walked through it.
and then really being in thatplace where being a better, more
healed version of yourself, I.
Making peace with those things iswhat helps connect you to yourself,
(21:32):
your self-worth your higher self,the divine, the, the spiritual
world that we're connected withand help connect us with others.
It's, it's that connectionthrough our, our love and healing
of ourselves that helps us.
Not only just connect with the divine,but to connect with others that are
here also, because everyone has thatlittle piece of divinity in them.
(21:55):
We are all little specksof that giant light.
And when that energy through you, throughthem, through spirit, all can move.
A more loving, compassionate way, in away that's balanced, in a way that's,
that's reciprocal from, you know, andhealthy and, in the center of that
(22:16):
knowing that you are safe and you're okay.
That is a beautiful flow of energyto be in, and that is where you
will then start finding the worldworking out, things starting to
flow a little bit better for you.
That is when it is the easiest for theuniverse to work with us and for us
to find our path and be in a much morehappy and much more safe feeling space.
(22:40):
Now, does that flow always go on forever?
Probably not because this human experienceis full of ups and downs and challenges,
and we're here to learn, so it'sprobably going to get challenged again.
But at least as we move forward,then we understand the process, then
we can, we can hopefully then workthrough those processes better and,
and safer and in a much more self.
(23:04):
I don't know if I wanna say self-focused,but a self, self-caring way in space.
So thank you all for joining me.
This was just a quick littleepisode of some spiritual sharing.
I again, appreciate all of youthat, support us and share with us
and listen to us and cheer us on.
(23:25):
It means the world.
And if there's anything that you'regetting out of any of this that helps
you along your path, then my job is done.
So everyone please take care and wewill see you on the next episode.
Hey, Souly listeners, thank you somuch for being here with us today.
If you enjoy this podcast and wouldlike to help support us, there are
(23:47):
a few ways that you can do that.
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The second thing youcan do is word of mouth.
Send it to a friend or a familymember who you feel would really
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We also have all of our social medialink below as well as our Souly email.
(24:11):
So if you have something to say, youhave a question, you have an episode
suggestion, or just wanna shareyour story, you can do that below.
Welcome.
You're listening to Souly apodcast, driven by curiosity in
spirituality with intuitive mediums.
Shayla and Payton.
Join us as we ask questions, createconversation, and share in an open
and heart-centered way our personalexperiences and mystical ponderings.
(00:23):
If you're spiritually curious and wannabe a part of the conversation, then
this is the perfect space for you.
This is Souly.
(00:43):
Hello everyone.
Welcome back Souly listeners.
I have another solo episodehere for you all today.
Shayla will be returning.
She just needed to take a little time withfamily, so I thought I would jump on here.
I.
Have had a couple kind of fun,spiritual, interesting experiences
(01:05):
lately that were kind of beautifuland I wanted to share those with you.
some of them, as I have sharedwith others, uh, I kept getting
feedback that they were either in a.
Going through a similar thing,feeling kind of a similar way.
So I thought, well, why not shareit with everyone since it might
be just the energy in which a lotof people have just moved through.
(01:27):
especially now.
It's perfect.
As I'm recording this, we've justentered Pisces season, so moving
out of Aquarius season into Pisces.
Which can be dreamy and be really healingand could be revealing of maybe why we
went through certain stages over thepast, whether that was just the past.
Solar season or is it solar season?
(01:50):
Excuse me, astrologers.
I don't know if that's exactlyhow it's stated, but you know,
the previous zodiac season.
as we move through those, and maybethose are a little more revealing
and a little more difficult andchallenging, we're moving into now
more of an understanding space.
So this actually is very muchconnected with what I was experiencing.
So the first.
Thing I wanted to share is, you know, overthe past, couple months, I, and I think a
(02:16):
lot of people go through this, especiallyit being winter, we have less sunlight.
We just got done with the holidays.
So for some of us that can be uplifting.
For some people it canbe a little more heavy.
But there's still a lot of energy built.
And then it just kind of goes calm,after the first of the year and, and as
we continue to move closer to spring.
(02:36):
but I was just noticing, I was reallystruggling with, a lot of depression and
a lot of feelings that it was just, itwas very heavy and I was really having
trouble identifying what the issue was.
You know, part of it was.
I kept kind of feeling lonely,but I didn't really wanna
change anything about that.
(02:56):
you know, I've got a lot of reallyawesome things happening in my world
and a lot that I'm very grateful for.
So then there's like thisguilt for not, you know, for
feeling unhappy or feeling bad.
It was just this kind of, this likevicious cycle and it felt like, Well,
and what it ended up being is it feltlike these walls were kind of starting
to crumble, that maybe I had put up.
(03:18):
you know, whether it's, you know,things that I've, I have experienced,
maybe I put up some walls forprotection and it just felt like those
walls were starting to crumble and Ididn't have my safeguards in place.
And that just got to be really scaryand that got to be just really heavy.
And what was, what was kindof beautiful at the end.
Is once I, on my, I started toget towards kind of my worst days.
(03:43):
and after walking through those days, I.
It was interesting 'cause I startedhaving these emotions come up,
tied to things that I thoughtI had moved through already.
Situations that, very much helpedlay the brick for those walls.
You know, I started feeling some ofthose come up and I had to really,
kind of look at that whole situationand see how I tend to move through
(04:07):
difficult periods of time in my life.
And I, you know, I'm verymuch a let's, let's solve it.
Let's move through, let's go forward,let's champion this, you know?
I have a lot of grit in my nature.
I can, I can get through a lot, but.
Then it, you know, then sometimesbeing that way, I then don't fully
let all of the emotions flow.
(04:30):
And I was finding for myself thatthere were little pieces of these
emotions that got kind of buriedwithin that, that fortress I
built around my, my heart space.
That fortress I build around myself.
That I, I didn't realize were there.
So as I was kind of moving through this,this heavy, heavy depression, I started,
(04:50):
those emotions started to come up andI started to feel them and I started
to realize, hey, maybe there's piecesof this that still need to be released.
even if I am, mentally past certainsituations or whatever these experiences
were, you know, maybe they left theselittle residual pieces of energy that
(05:11):
needed to be let out so that I couldmove forward safely and in a more
healthy way with having those walls down.
You know, for those of you in thespiritual world or that practice
mediumship or, you know, or connectingor maybe you like to channel higher
energies, I was also kind of finding that,if I had walls up and I, you know, those
(05:32):
walls were maybe tied to trust or, howvulnerable I could be with other people.
Because, you know, in my physical life Iwas, I had went through some experiences
where the people very close to me.
I, I, I felt betrayal.
I felt some, distrust, which, like I said,were the bricks that help build that wall.
I was noticing that, you know, does,does the, how I interact in the physical,
(05:56):
does the, the way I protect myselffrom the physical is that at all.
A similar filter that I'm, havingto go through when I'm connecting
with the spiritual, because,you know, subconsciously it is,
these are other, beings, right?
That are there that I'm trying toconnect with and, and have a bond with
and bring through information and learn.
(06:17):
You know, was, was there some kindof block there because I wasn't
fully being vulnerable and I wasn'tfully able to open up my heart.
even though mentally, again, Iunderstood it all and I could
compartmentalize the different spacesand the different situations, but I
was, I was noticing maybe energeticallysome of this stuff needed to be worked
(06:39):
on so that I could move through it.
So it was kind of beautiful.
It was a bit of a dark night of the soul.
And, you know, through the end it reallywas kind of a tear down a tower moment
in a sense for those of you familiarwith, tarot cards, the tarot deck, a
tower as, you know, something crashingdown to make wave for something new.
So it definitely had alot of that energy to it.
(07:01):
And I'm really grateful for it nowbecause I'm starting to, you know,
I was able to feel that emotion thatI didn't, realize was still there.
And then I could let it flow throughmy energy and let it release the way
it needed to so that it could, itcould start to dissipate a little bit.
and I could make peace withthat energy and maybe make peace
with some of the situation thatmaybe I was still holding onto.
(07:21):
So.
That was really beautiful.
And then this other part of thisstory, which is tied to this whole
moment, which it just floors me,it's, you know, I am a medium.
I connect with spirit constantly.
I receive readings constantly.
I'm constantly practicing withother mediums to help build
and strengthen my abilities.
I take courses.
(07:42):
I'm involved in this communityvery deeply, so I mean, I.
I'm doing this constantly.
This is a large part ofmy, my life at the moment.
And it's so magical andit's so spectacular.
But when you're in it a long timeand the longer you get in it,
it becomes a little more normal.
So it kind of, what did, um,there's someone out there, it's a,
(08:05):
it's a pretty well known psychicmedium that says, after a while,
spirit becomes like an old friend.
Like, it, it's not sosurprising or exciting anymore
because you're used to it.
So about a week ago from my time ofrecording this episode, I was having
probably my heaviest day walking, youknow, like I said, through this, through
(08:26):
this depression and this heaviness,and it was, it was to a point where
I almost couldn't even focus on.
Anything else, it just felt like thisgiant heavy cloud in my energy field
and I couldn't break away from it.
And, I even to the point where,and personally, this is just my
personal belief, this doesn'tmake it right or wrong, it's just
the experience I've had so far.
(08:47):
I don't believe in, you know,negative beings out there.
I don't believe I, you know,I feel like a lot of that.
That we express and talk about these, youknow, evil demons or all this, whatever.
I feel like that's, you know, kind ofexpresses some of the choices and things
that humans do in life, and it doesn'tnecessarily reflect the spiritual world.
(09:08):
That's my personal opinion.
However, I do believe that there isnegative heavy energy out there that
maybe doesn't have, an intelligence to it.
It just.
Is something that we canget kind of stuck in.
'cause I have felt that in my energyfield before and I've had to clean it,
like cleanse my energy before as I've,as I've grown this relationship with my
(09:30):
own personal energy, I've learned thatkind of how to pay attention to that.
And it felt very similar to that.
And no matter what I did, Icould not clear this energy off.
So this day was pretty heavy and I, Iwent to my, my normal daytime job and,
I had plans that evening with, somefriends to go to dinner and I just, I
(09:50):
was so close to canceling these plans.
I just, I was in that state, Iwas like, I just can't right now.
But I was like, you know what,you need to just, just do it.
This will, this is gonna be good.
So get to I, so I end up, it'sa little bit of a drive for
me to get, to this restaurant.
It's this awesome Mediterraneanrestaurant where I live.
I have dinner with these friends.
(10:11):
The energy just kind of shifted, you know,it was good to be around other people.
one of 'em I knew better than, I knewthe wife better than I knew the husband.
So it was really awesometo get to know him better.
You know, we chatted a lot.
It was, it was a great,it was a great evening.
So.
We ended up, you know, our dinner came,we ate all within under an hour, but we
ended up being there for three hours.
(10:33):
just talking and about halfwaythrough, and the way this restaurant's
set up, it's like an open kitchen.
So the kitchen's right there.
the woman that is like the maincook in this kitchen, she comes
over and she brings us thisdessert that was cut into three.
just for the three of us to have, Imean, we had already paid, we were done.
And, you know, she, she droppedit off, said something quick, and
(10:55):
then just kind of walked away.
And, it was just cool.
It was really special and,you know, it was delicious.
So I come home, I drive home,I'm feeling a little bit better.
And I get home and I go to check my mail.
So I, I currently live in an apartmentcomplex and my mailbox is in a different
building, so I don't check it thatoften, but I went to check it when I
got home and there was a package inthere from Texas, and I'm like, I only
(11:20):
know one person that lives in Texas.
And, you know, she has sentme things before, but I was
like, well, it has to be her.
So my, my friend Sonja, which shehas been on the podcast before.
Lovely, lovely, lovely person.
And I get home and I open it up andit's this, this beautiful candle
she made with, she had meltedthese little crystals in it and she
(11:42):
melted all these Greek coins in it.
And it was, and I'm, I'm, I'm gettingready to take a trip to Greece.
And, you know, if you know me, you knowhow much I love anything in Greek culture,
Greek history, Greek language, all of it.
And it was just this candle that I wassupposed to use with a, with a stand that
she made for it, to just set an intentionof, you know, maybe something I wanted
(12:06):
to experience in my trip or just somethings I wanted to come in this year.
And it was just out of nowhere.
And I, so I messaged her and I waslike, Sonja, this was, above and beyond.
I needed this.
Today, like I, I just,it was so thoughtful.
It was, you know, such athoughtful, intentional gift and
for me to get it today, it justfelt, it felt extra special.
So I messaged her and and I thanked her.
(12:28):
So then I, I kind of getsettled 'cause I just got home
and I start scrolling through.
I start cleaning out mynotifications on my phone.
So I go through my email and I seethere's a couple emails from Sonja.
I.
And one of them was to Souly.
She was, sharing how, she very muchresonated with one of the messages
that came through in a card pollfrom a previous couple episodes ago.
(12:51):
and just some experienceshe had, which it was.
So, I, I love when you guys share stuff.
So again, that's another promptwe'd love to hear from you guys.
So please, if you feelinclined, uh, reach out.
And then I went to, she had sentsomething then to my personal
email and I started reading it.
Now I have to give alittle bit of a backstory.
Sonja and I, for a long time now, wedon't do it regularly, but every couple
(13:15):
months her and I will meet and havecoffee over Zoom and we'll pull cards
for each other and catch up and, youknow, share with each other, challenges
or whatever that we're going through.
In the last time, which had been,it was at least a month, if not a
month and a half, two months ago.
we did this.
She practiced some mediumship with me.
(13:35):
She doesn't, she doesn'ttypically do tons of mediumship.
She's a lot more in the psychicand the card and the angel
and the, and the mystical.
She's in that world.
Her practice is there more, but shewanted to do a little bit of mediumship
and she brought through some messagesfrom my grandmother and I, I have
two grandmothers as all of us do.
And one of 'em I knew longerbecause she lived longer.
(13:57):
and I, so I ended upbeing closer with her.
But she's the one that doesn'tseem to come through that
often, and I, that's always.
It's been challenging for me becauseI'm like, I would, you know, you're the
one I would, I would most recognize,where my other grandmother, she come,
I can feel her every time she showsup, so it's just, it's different.
But, so she ended up bringing throughthis grandmother and she and she
(14:18):
had some lovely messages with it.
And you know, that was that.
So that was the last time we had met.
So she emails me and then this email, shegoes, Payton, I need to share with you.
There was something your grandmotherhad said that day that I didn't,
I, I didn't go into detail.
I felt weird about share.
I was too scared to share it.
So, but it just keeps hitting meand I want you to hear it today.
(14:40):
And it was this.
Heartfelt message of love and how muchshe loved me, and it was, it was very
simple, but it was, it was very much fromthe heart, and I lost it because the,
that day was my grandmother's birthdayand when I was driving to dinner.
(15:01):
I got really emotional because I wasthinking about my grandmother and I was
thinking about how, you know, the lasttime I saw her, I, I wish I would've
stayed longer and, you know, then feltguilty as we all do that, we don't spend
enough time with those that we love.
And we don't think about thatuntil after They're gone.
(15:21):
And, you know, it was justweighing heavy on my heart and
I just, and I really miss her.
And so I.
The fact that she randomly sent me first,she sends me this package that happens
to also arrive on my grandmother'sbirthday, and then sends me an email
about this extra message from mygrandmother on her birthday, which she
(15:42):
was not aware that that was her birthday.
It, I could just finally feelmy grandma lean in and, and
come in and give me a hug.
The other really magical part about that.
So I, so my other friend, AndreaAndrea, if you're listening, hello.
Her and I share this stuff.
So I'm messaging her too, and I'm like,oh my God, you're not gonna believe
what just happened, blah, blah, blah.
She, she messaged back and as shewas talking, it then dawned on me
(16:06):
that when we were at that restaurant.
My grandmother was a cook, and that's whatshe, you know, she worked in a kitchen.
That's what she did for in my, as she wasalive when I knew her through my life.
That's what she did until she retired.
And so it kind of dawned on me thatshe had inspired that woman to bring us
that treat at dinner, because that was.
(16:27):
You know, that was what I at leastalways associated with my grandma was
like, you know, she made these awesome,treats for us and these desserts and I
loved, that was just something I loved.
So, it was just beautiful to, and thingsthen just throughout the night kept
like more and more validations kepthitting, but it was just so beautiful
and such a great reminder that.
(16:48):
It doesn't have to be just sitting in amediumistic situation with a reader that
your loved ones can connect with you.
They're, they're trying to connectwith us all the time, and they
will do very magical things inthe right time, in the right way.
I.
So that we're able to receive them theway that we need to in that moment.
(17:10):
Again, like for this to happen onwhen I was having one of my worst
days, I, you know, I couldn't,I, I can't make this stuff up.
I couldn't have asked for a muchmore healing moment in that time.
So, yeah, so that, that is my, thatwas my experience and I just, it
felt like such a beautiful moment.
(17:31):
I wanted to share it with all of you.
I would love to hear about if, ifyou've had experiences like this
or times that, you know, spirithas really surprised you or just.
And that, again, like I was sayingearlier, after a while it becomes,
not that it's less special, but itjust doesn't become as surprising
when you have these moments becauseyou get a little bit used to it.
(17:52):
So to still be able to be in that stateof like, awe and just like, wow, like
it's amazing, you know, it, it was sucha gift and I'm, and I'm so grateful and,
and thankfully since then I'm, you know,the sun is starting to come up again and
things are starting to feel a lot lighter.
yeah, we all, we all have it.
So any of you that have also been goingthrough a heavy period or, it just feels
(18:17):
like there's a weight around your energy.
just have faith and stay true toit and know that there must be
something to be gained or released.
Through this process and to just havefaith in that and just keep going and
keep trying to find, you know, if,if you need those little distractions
or if you need, those little piecesof gratitude to find, to hold onto,
(18:40):
to get you through those moments.
trust me, it will be worth it onceyou get through to the other side.
and as always, and youknow, I do this myself.
If it does get that bad and it gets to apoint that you feel like you need help,
find someone, find someone to talk to.
counseling and therapy has been such ahuge tool for me, and I really, really
(19:03):
believe everyone could use someoneto share with, just to, to let some
things out and just to process thingsthat we go through and, You know,
when we, when we hold everything inand we bottle it up, pieces of that
get stuck inside us, and it makes itharder to move in a more fluid more.
(19:23):
Productively energetic way whenwe have some of these pieces of
things that we've been throughthat just get stuck in our energy.
So it's just, it's so good to beable to let those out and feel
through those and process those.
it doesn't mean that they go away.
We can't erase our experiences,but we can find a way.
(19:43):
To make peace with them, we can finda way to take from them the strength
that we've gained and let go of thepart that, you know, with forgiveness
usually, or with, love and compassion,just let go of the pieces that aren't,
that aren't helping us on our journey.
So if any of you out there,I, you know, there's it.
(20:04):
I know in some placesit's easier than others.
Some places have moreservices than others.
Sometimes it's hard.
I know there are a lot of onlineresources, now available where you can
connect with, counselors and stuff online.
So, please, if you are in a placewhere you're, you're not feeling like
you can get through the, you know,get through it and it's just, it does
feel so heavy just to find someone.
(20:25):
There's, there's, there are lots ofpeople out there that do wanna help.
So I did pull some cards for thisepisode just to see kind of what
came through, and it's, it's veryon theme as, as, as, as expected.
And, this is about the strengthin what we've learned that
helps us feel more grounded andsecure, helps us feel more safe.
(20:48):
And for me personally.
Those walls that I had built up,connected to those situations I had,
the energy that was stuck in there wasactually making me not feel grounded,
you know, not feel secure because thosewalls are up with anticipation of it
happening again, of the disappointmentcoming again, of the pain coming back.
(21:11):
And that's not a, that's notbeing in a place of security
or a place of being grounded.
Which I never thought of it that way.
and I only now see that nowthat I've walked through it.
and then really being in thatplace where being a better, more
healed version of yourself, I.
Making peace with those things iswhat helps connect you to yourself,
(21:32):
your self-worth your higher self,the divine, the, the spiritual
world that we're connected withand help connect us with others.
It's, it's that connectionthrough our, our love and healing
of ourselves that helps us.
Not only just connect with the divine,but to connect with others that are
here also, because everyone has thatlittle piece of divinity in them.
(21:55):
We are all little specksof that giant light.
And when that energy through you, throughthem, through spirit, all can move.
A more loving, compassionate way, in away that's balanced, in a way that's,
that's reciprocal from, you know, andhealthy and, in the center of that
(22:16):
knowing that you are safe and you're okay.
That is a beautiful flow of energyto be in, and that is where you
will then start finding the worldworking out, things starting to
flow a little bit better for you.
That is when it is the easiest for theuniverse to work with us and for us
to find our path and be in a much morehappy and much more safe feeling space.
(22:40):
Now, does that flow always go on forever?
Probably not because this human experienceis full of ups and downs and challenges,
and we're here to learn, so it'sprobably going to get challenged again.
But at least as we move forward,then we understand the process, then
we can, we can hopefully then workthrough those processes better and,
and safer and in a much more self.
(23:04):
I don't know if I wanna say self-focused,but a self, self-caring way in space.
So thank you all for joining me.
This was just a quick littleepisode of some spiritual sharing.
I again, appreciate all of youthat, support us and share with us
and listen to us and cheer us on.
(23:25):
It means the world.
And if there's anything that you'regetting out of any of this that helps
you along your path, then my job is done.
So everyone please take care and wewill see you on the next episode.
Hey, Souly listeners, thank you somuch for being here with us today.
If you enjoy this podcast and wouldlike to help support us, there are
(23:47):
a few ways that you can do that.
The first way is to give us a positivereview on Apple or Spotify, and this helps
us to be pushed up the algorithm whichallows more people to find our podcast.
The second thing youcan do is word of mouth.
Send it to a friend or a familymember who you feel would really
enjoy this kind of convers.
We also have all of our social medialink below as well as our Souly email.
(24:11):
So if you have something to say, youhave a question, you have an episode
suggestion, or just wanna shareyour story, you can do that below.
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