So many highlight their winding roads to self-discovery, but we still seem in a rush to get to our end fast. But could a wide curiosity of all of our becoming (i.e., reflecting on how you AND) help you rediscover facets of our being that lived inside us all along? On today's episode, musical artist Monica LaBonte recounts a winding journey of discovering her love of music and performance, becoming a full-time musician, pivoting away to teaching and finding her love of expression through song again.
Follow Monica on Instagram.
Check out Monica's website for future shows, private music lessons and to buy her most recent album See Through.
---
Original music composed by Nelson Walker.
Recorded at Interplay Recording and Multimedia.
Written and produced by Erika Randall and Tim Grassley.
The Ampersand is a production of the College of Arts and Sciences at the University of Colorado Boulder.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
ERIKA RANDALL (00:03):
A and S.
[TYPEWRITER CARRIAGE RETURN]
[INAUDIBLE] here in a second.
MONICA LABONTE (00:09):
OK.
I'm just going to--
I'm going to warmup a little bit.
[MONICA LABONTE, "HIGH NOTES"]
(SINGING) I was walkingdown a long road
Haunted by an old ghost
ERIKA RANDALL (00:20):
I imagine Monica Labonte
in the fullest joy behinda guitar, a banjo, a piano,
an accordion, anyinstrument, really,
even if she doesn'tknow how to play it yet.
Monica is at homebehind a microphone
in a way that lets you knowshe doesn't just love to sing,
isn't just good at it, but wasborn to breathe deep and bring
(00:40):
you to tears.
MONICA LABONTE (00:42):
OK.
Just don't rememberthat last chord.
ERIKA RANDALL (00:50):
I can't imagine Monica
denying her path as amusician and not just leaning
into it as a career from birth.
But as you'll hearon today's episode,
Monica's path wasa winding one that
took her on the musician'sroad and into classrooms,
always with a guitar and a song.
And then for us, thefortunate ANDers,
she decided that musicwas her way forward.
(01:11):
On The Ampersand, we callthis bringing together
of the impossible thealchemy of ANDing.
Together, we'll hear stories ofhumans who imagine and create
by colliding their interests.
Rather than thinking of and asa simple conjunction in that
"ConjunctionJunction" kind of way,
(01:32):
we will hear stories ofpeople who see and as a verb,
a way to speak the beautifulwhen you intentionally let
the soft animal of yourbody love what it loves.
As St. Mary Oliverasks, what is it you
plan to do with your onewild and precious life?
Oh, I love this question.
When I'm mothering,creating, and collaborating,
it reminds me toreplace a singular
(01:54):
idea of what I think I shouldbecome with a full sensory verb
about experiencing.
I'm Erika Randall, and this isMonica Labonte on The Ampersand.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MONICA LABONTE (02:12):
Before my son was born,
I was a full timeworking musician.
I was still playingfive gigs a week.
And I think by the time my soncame, I was ready for a break.
And then the pandemic justchanged the industry so much.
And so I think there was thisnatural pause in music for me
(02:33):
at that time anyways.
It was kind ofalready happening,
or it was about to happen.
And then motherhood is just--
I mean, it really turnsyour world upside down.
So I was ready to put myfocus and energy into my son,
because I discoveredquickly that it was just
too hard to put all the loveand the time and the energy
(02:54):
into both.
I couldn't do bothfor some time.
ERIKA RANDALL (02:57):
What did your schedule look like
as a professional musician?
What was touring like?
What was the gigging like?
What was the writingand recording like?
MONICA LABONTE (03:04):
It was just all over the place.
I was just a yes person,for 10, 15 years,
just saying yes to everygig, to every recording.
I didn't do a wholelot of touring.
But I was part of aband for 10 years,
and we did multiple recordings,and we played festivals
all over the state.
We did just a little bitof touring up to Oregon.
(03:26):
We went to Wyoming one time.
ERIKA RANDALL (03:28):
But there was enough of a scene here
in Colorado.
MONICA LABONTE (03:31):
Oh, for sure.
And then I've been teachingmusic along the way,
so that's kind of--
ERIKA RANDALL (03:36):
Painful.
MONICA LABONTE (03:37):
Kept me afloat.
ERIKA RANDALL (03:38):
Is it torture to teach little people
how to play the banjo?
I mean, that soundslike the worst job ever.
MONICA LABONTE (03:43):
Well, I will say this.
I really appreciate people whocan teach children and do it
for their whole lives.
I discovered over many yearsof different kinds of teaching
and teaching mostly kids--
I've worked with kids inlots of different ways.
But I've really come to realizethat I love teaching adults.
(04:05):
And I do not teach banjo.
ERIKA RANDALL (04:07):
OK.
Because that justisn't going to go well.
MONICA LABONTE (04:10):
Yeah, I do not teach banjo.
I mostly teach voice.
ERIKA RANDALL (04:13):
OK.
And do you ever auditionthem and then say no?
Like if I auditioned,you wouldn't--
MONICA LABONTE (04:18):
No.
ERIKA RANDALL (04:19):
But there's no guarantee, right?
You wouldn't be like,yes, Randall, I got you.
You're going to come out of heredoing all the musical theater
or all the gentle, angryfolk that you want.
What's your slogan for-- howdo people find it-- it's like,
find your voice or--
MONICA LABONTE (04:35):
Oh, right.
ERIKA RANDALL (04:36):
Get recorded?
Or ignore your mother,you've got this?
Or fill your bucket?
How do you come to itwith goals for folks?
MONICA LABONTE (04:45):
Yeah.
The slogan thing's funny.
I've seen that a lot,actually, with voice teachers
have a thing or a slogan.
I do not have athing or a slogan.
I really just meetpeople where they are.
And I don't make any promises,because it's not my work,
it's their work.
So I can show themthe tools, but I
can't promise that anythingis going to happen.
ERIKA RANDALL (05:05):
And we all have the tools
in our bodies to do this?
MONICA LABONTE (05:08):
For sure, yeah.
It's just like Ratatouille.
Anyone can cook.
Anyone can sing.
But it's hard work.
It's hard work.
And singing is so intertwinedwith the heart and the soul
and past experiences.
And this choir teacher told me--
everyone got into thechoir except for me always.
(05:29):
Or my mother toldme I couldn't sing.
A lot of peoplehave these stories.
And so it's interesting,because I almost have to feel--
I almost have to hold aspace of a caretaker or--
ERIKA RANDALL (05:39):
Therapist.
MONICA LABONTE (05:41):
A bit of a therapist.
ERIKA RANDALL (05:41):
I would cry in a lesson with you.
MONICA LABONTE (05:43):
I've cried so many times.
ERIKA RANDALL (05:44):
I'm almost crying when
I'm thinking about me goinginto a lesson with you.
MONICA LABONTE (05:49):
Totally.
It's very vulnerable.
ERIKA RANDALL (05:51):
Yeah.
MONICA LABONTE (05:51):
It's very vulnerable.
And so I will say, I have,over the years of teaching,
the people who come andare willing to at least let
go a little bit of theirstory or those walls--
have their walls, comedown and let go of excuses
and are just willingto try, those
(06:13):
are the most successful people.
ERIKA RANDALL (06:14):
Do you say that to them?
Do you say, if you're coming inhere, you got to peel the onion?
MONICA LABONTE (06:18):
Yeah.
It's cool.
It's such fun work.
And then I have a backgroundin speech therapy,
so I have this knowledgeof the actual system.
ERIKA RANDALL (06:28):
Is that how your degree from CU serves you,
do you think?
MONICA LABONTE (06:31):
Oh, yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (06:32):
The systems learning, the anatomical,
the somatic.
Tell me about that,because that's something
that's so interesting to me.
And also because I wroteabout a character who
was a folk singer who thenbecomes a speech therapist,
so the character of my novelis the opposite of you.
MONICA LABONTE (06:47):
Interesting
ERIKA RANDALL (06:48):
Yeah.
And the book is calledMusic for Leaving.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
I cannot wait togive it to Monica.
MONICA LABONTE (06:52):
Cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (06:53):
Because it's like you, but Benjamin Buttoned.
And so often whenwe get a major,
we don't know whereit's going to land us.
For you, did you think thatthese worlds were connected,
that you always wanted to be asinger and a singer-songwriter,
and you were studyingthis in college?
Or how did that work for you?
Tell me about that path.
MONICA LABONTE (07:11):
The path was just so messy.
I took seven yearsto graduate college
with my bachelor's, becauseI couldn't land on one thing.
And I did some worldtraveling in there.
And I was a ski bum onewinter up in Beaver Creek,
and I met one ofmy dear friends.
(07:31):
Her name is Abby.
And she brought me to a campcalled Camp ASCCA in Alabama,
and I became the music andarts and crafts director
for this camp.
And it's for children andadults with disabilities.
And from that job, Ijust really fostered
a love of taking care of peopleand being in a therapeutic role.
ERIKA RANDALL (07:53):
And that was before you
declared speech therapy, speechlanguage therapy, as well.
MONICA LABONTE (07:57):
Yeah.
So from there-- and I had neverhad an opportunity to work with
people with disabilities,so that was my first--
that experience justchanged my course.
ERIKA RANDALL (08:06):
And there were generations at this camp.
They were all ages.
MONICA LABONTE (08:10):
Yeah.
All ages.
I think it's 6 to--
I don't know.
70 something.
And every week islike a different age
group and a different--
ERIKA RANDALL (08:17):
That's huge to just walk into--
MONICA LABONTE (08:19):
It was wild.
ERIKA RANDALL (08:20):
--without prep.
MONICA LABONTE (08:21):
Yeah.
Oh, it was wild.
And going from a ski bum to--
ERIKA RANDALL (08:25):
Yeah.
Hyper able community to adifferent community that
has different requirements.
What was the biggest thingthat that job, that position,
asked of you that youhad to find or tap into
that you didn't maybenecessarily resource yourself
with before?
MONICA LABONTE (08:41):
I would say it was the first time
that I couldn't be selfish.
And I was young, and--
ERIKA RANDALL (08:48):
Which is the perfect time to be selfish.
MONICA LABONTE (08:50):
Exactly.
ERIKA RANDALL (08:50):
And then also to learn that that's not--
MONICA LABONTE (08:52):
Yeah.
So I had to learnto not be selfish,
and it required meto be very humble
and just be so present because--
yeah.
This populationis so vulnerable,
but they're soloving and so kind,
and so there's a lot of magic.
And it really, truly changedthe course of my life.
ERIKA RANDALL (09:15):
And so from there you went back to school
with a new focus?
MONICA LABONTE (09:18):
Yeah.
So I declared musictherapy, actually.
And I went to CSU,which is where
I reconnected with my husband.
And music therapy--it just didn't feel--
I was like, I don't know ifI want to marry these two
worlds in such a direct way.
ERIKA RANDALL (09:35):
It's really specific.
MONICA LABONTE (09:36):
It just felt too direct.
I love music somuch, and I loved
working with peoplewith disabilities,
but I didn't wantto marry the two.
It didn't feellike the right fit.
So then I found thespeech therapy program
at CU, and that--
ERIKA RANDALL (09:50):
I love that you had to go further outside.
It was too close here--
MONICA LABONTE (09:54):
Yes.
ERIKA RANDALL (09:55):
--when they were nesting organically.
You're like, no, no, no.
I got to mix it up with myown and put a little tension
between the two.
MONICA LABONTE (10:02):
Yes.
Add some space.
And a lot of people askme, not knowing my past,
why don't you do music therapy?
It just seems likethe obvious choice.
ERIKA RANDALL: You're like, I don't (10:14):
undefined
want to do the obvious choice.
MONICA LABONTE (10:15):
Yeah.
It's too obvious.
I needed something morein depth, more well--
and music therapy is incredible.
I really believe inthe work that they do.
ERIKA RANDALL (10:25):
But the two obvious--
producer Tim and I aretalking about this a lot,
because so many studentsand student parents
and administrators arelike, how does this major
get you to a career?
They kind of want the obvious,but it's the not so obvious
that actually getsus more excited.
Because when we talkto folks like you,
that's how you stay lit to theworlds of your life instead of,
this is the thing.
(10:45):
Square peg, square fit.
No.
For you, that wasnot going to work.
But people still ask.
They still imagineback to what maybe
would have been more obvious.
And your answer is, tried it.
MONICA LABONTE (10:56):
Yeah.
Didn't work.
ERIKA RANDALL (10:59):
Respect.
Not it.
MONICA LABONTE (10:59):
Yeah, totally.
So I went to CUfor speech therapy,
and I loved studyingall the things speech.
But at the same time, Iwas also cutting my teeth
as a songwriter in Boulder.
All that to say, I wasn'tmaybe the best student,
(11:20):
because my passions wereso divided at that point.
And I was having somuch fun playing music.
ERIKA RANDALL (11:26):
And it wasn't brutal playing in the coffee
shop culture where it feelslike no one's listening,
and they're all talking, orthey have their headphones on?
You were OK with that?
MONICA LABONTE (11:34):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL: Because it gave you (11:35):
undefined
a time to practice your craft.
MONICA LABONTE (11:36):
Exactly.
ERIKA RANDALL (11:37):
Is that what it felt like?
MONICA LABONTE (11:38):
Yeah.
And it's still that way.
I still have gigsthat are like that.
And I guess sometimesit used to bother me.
Aren't you hearinghow hard we worked
and the songs that we wrote?
But now I see thatthere's a time and a place
for different kindsof performances,
and the backgroundgigs are fine.
(11:59):
It's no big deal.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:00):
Do you think of them as that,
as background gigs?
MONICA LABONTE (12:02):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:02):
You're playing back up
to the scene of the worldthat the people are in.
It's not that you are-- it'snot the audience exchange that's
direct.
MONICA LABONTE (12:09):
Exactly.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:09):
Because the time that I've seen you--
I was there for mybuddy, producer Tim,
but I was quickly very muchin a proscenium setting there
for you, staring, riveted,cheering, listening
to every lyric.
So that when I was listeningto your music, I'm like oh,
I remember hearing that song.
I remember hearing that.
Do you prefer that, when youhave that audience who's rapt
and who's kind of in your spell?
MONICA LABONTE (12:27):
Yeah, I do.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:28):
Yeah.
Because you're a spell weaver.
It's true.
MONICA LABONTE (12:32):
But see, you're that kind of person.
You, as an audiencemember, is like the best.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:36):
You can feel us.
You're not scared we'regoing to stalk you later.
You are singing to us ina way that feels safe.
We're not threateningin any way,
because I really fall in love.
And I'm like, oh my God.
And they're inlove with me, too.
But do you fall in love withyour audience like that?
Do you connect?
You see the people who care.
MONICA LABONTE: For me, performance (12:53):
undefined
has become very personal,especially with the songs that
have come out.
Turns out I justwrite very melancholy,
kind of sad or darksongs most of the time.
ERIKA RANDALL (13:06):
But that's not how you go through the world.
MONICA LABONTE (13:08):
No.
It used to be, though.
It used to be.
ERIKA RANDALL (13:12):
OK.
So it feels likea vestige of you
that processes now-- ormaybe helps you process
so that you aren't that.
MONICA LABONTE (13:19):
Maybe, yeah.
Yeah.
I try to write happy songs,and I just can't do it.
ERIKA RANDALL (13:23):
But I listen to your songs, and I feel happy.
MONICA LABONTE (13:25):
Oh, good.
ERIKA RANDALL (13:26):
I don't feel--
I mean, I love melancholy.
That is my shade.
But I listen toyour music, and I
feel like, oh, I could listento this on a day with sun
and want to be walking in theworld, not sitting at home,
writing in my own journal.
It feels real andfrom your body,
(13:47):
but it doesn't feeldark and haunting.
You don't feel haunted bywhat you're singing about.
Does that feel true for you?
MONICA LABONTE: Yeah, I think so. (13:55):
undefined
I think so.
I think for a lotof songs-- well,
my songwriting will often comefrom a place of pain or sorrow
or heartbreak.
But yeah.
I think over theyears, I think what
you're saying isI've learned how
to weave it inwith some sunshine
and maybe lightenit up a little bit.
(14:16):
But I'm not going to be writinglike a funny John Prine song
anytime soon.
That's just not my style.
ERIKA RANDALL (14:23):
No.
So can you give us anexample of a lyric that
feels like close to home butalso threads some dapple in it?
MONICA LABONTE (14:34):
Oh, no.
Actually, the banjosong would work.
OK.
So in the chorus--
ERIKA RANDALL (14:38):
You want to play that song?
MONICA LABONTE (14:39):
Oh, yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (14:40):
I really, really, really want to hear you sing.
MONICA LABONTE (14:43):
OK.
Oh, sorry.
Ready?
OK.
[BANJO PLAYING]
This is a songcalled High Notes.
[MONICA LABONTE, "HIGH NOTES"]
(15:06):
(SINGING) I was walkingdown a long road
Haunted by a rogue ghost
An outline of a body
Tracing my every step
Feeling that I could not shake
You're with me at the wake
Hugging me tightly
(15:28):
Just like the autumn sun
Can you hear my song?
The one I wrote a long time ago?
Did I hit those high notes?
(15:51):
I'm pining for a timeI'll hear your voice again
Soft hands and hard keys
(16:12):
Sitting on thebench, cheek to cheek
And I still think I canhear your music playing
You taught me all theduets with love and joy
And all the rest would onlybe second best against my time
with you
(16:35):
Can you hear my song?
The one I wrote a long time ago?
Did I hit those high notes?
I'm pining for a timeI'll hear your voice again
(17:00):
Maybe it's better yourlove is in my heart
Through the stormy weather, yourlove burns through to the dark
In your memory
I am set free
I feel your goodnessand your music in me
(17:29):
Now, the wind blowsthrough the trees
Hear the hushing of the leaves
Demanding quiet, please,to pause and think of why
Those shadows are tailing me
No angels are whispering
I want you to come on back
(17:51):
Come back and haunt me
So you can hear my song
The one I wrote a long time ago
And you can hear my notes
(18:14):
I'm pining for a timeI'll hear your voice again
I'm pining for a timeI'll hear your voice again
ERIKA RANDALL (18:35):
Oh, I feel so lucky.
MONICA LABONTE (18:36):
You're so sweet.
ERIKA RANDALL: Beautiful, Monica. (18:38):
undefined
Wow.
Well, I'm the lucky one.
Thanks for that.
MONICA LABONTE (18:44):
Thank you.
ERIKA RANDALL (18:45):
Yeah.
So you like to write ina space of post-process?
You're not like T. Swift,where somebody does you wrong,
and you're at thegrocery store, and you're
going to go home andwrite that song about how
they cut you off and puttheir cart in front of yours?
You wait a minute.
MONICA LABONTE (18:59):
I think I wait a minute.
I wait a long minute, actually.
ERIKA RANDALL (19:03):
There you go.
MONICA LABONTE (19:04):
Lots and lots of time between what happens
and then when the songhappens, for sure.
That's interesting.
I've never thoughtabout it that way.
ERIKA RANDALL (19:11):
Does that feel true?
MONICA LABONTE (19:12):
Yeah.
Yeah, it does.
And every now and then,things will pop up
that feel more immediate thatmake their way into songs.
But yeah, it's not like-- yeah.
I don't get cut off intraffic and then go rage,
write a folk song.
ERIKA RANDALL (19:27):
Did you listen to folk as a kid?
And who first introduced youto music where you heard it?
For me, it's always mymom and then my sister.
So my mom tracked me CatStevens and Janis Ian.
And then my sisterstarted to pull me
more towards the alt ofR.E.M. and Sinead O'Connor.
(19:48):
And then my dad gave me jazz.
Do you have that lineage,that family tree of music,
or the humans that are in yourlife that got you listening,
and then where you keptgoing on that listening path?
MONICA LABONTE (19:58):
Yes.
Oh, for sure.
So my mom sings, and sheplays guitar and piano.
From her, I got CaroleKing, Townes Van Zandt.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:09):
Do you sing together?
MONICA LABONTE (20:10):
Yes.
Yeah.
So we sang in church growing up.
That's where I-- whenI started cantering,
when I first cantered, Iwas like, oh, this is fun.
I really enjoyed cantering andbeing in front of everyone.
And that kind of startedmaybe my performance journey.
So yeah, we sang inchurches for a long time.
(20:32):
In college, I wouldinvite her to come up,
and we would do littlecoffee shop gigs.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:37):
With your mom?
MONICA LABONTE (20:38):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:38):
In college?
MONICA LABONTE (20:39):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:39):
The sound of Boulder
was folk withMonica and her mom?
MONICA LABONTE (20:42):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:43):
That's amazing.
MONICA LABONTE (20:44):
Totally.
Yeah.
We had a gig at the DairyCenter for the Arts.
Way back.
I mean, a million years ago.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:50):
Did you call yourself a thing?
MONICA LABONTE (20:52):
No.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:54):
You and me against the world.
Did you-- OK.
So you've got your mom.
She's a folk singer.
MONICA LABONTE (21:00):
Yeah.
Mom, folk.
And then my dad was reallybig into vinyl and records.
And so often on theweekends, a Friday night,
we would turn all the lightsoff and sit in the living room
and just listen to music.
And it was really special,very, very special.
I can still feel the feelingsI felt when I was a kid doing
(21:21):
that with my parents.
That was really cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (21:23):
That's like sacred secular.
MONICA LABONTE (21:24):
Yeah.
It's very cool.
And that was like BobDylan, the Gipsy Kings.
ERIKA RANDALL (21:29):
Oh, I am huge with the Gipsy Kings.
MONICA LABONTE (21:31):
Really?
ERIKA RANDALL (21:32):
And I just saw them in concert,
because my mom died,and I'm like, I have to.
They were in Denver.
MONICA LABONTE (21:35):
Oh my gosh, I didn't know they were still--
ERIKA RANDALL (21:37):
Oh, yeah.
They have so many albums.
MONICA LABONTE (21:39):
Cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (21:40):
Oh, they were amazing.
Oh, the Gipsy Kings.
In the dark on Friday night.
MONICA LABONTE (21:44):
Yes.
Yep.
ERIKA RANDALL (21:47):
And Bob Dylan.
OK.
So I have a Bob Dylan question.
Watching the film, I'mlike watching him--
the actor version, Timothee,look at the Joan actress
version.
And even then, itseems like he's just
singing down to his own thing.
When I watched you perform,you are having conversations.
MONICA LABONTE (22:06):
Yeah.
And I love that.
Yes.
And that could be just beingso connected to singing
and singing with my mom growingup and then being in choirs--
I mean, it's really afundamental part of who I am.
ERIKA RANDALL (22:20):
Is it wild to think that your music is holding
people's memories together?
I'll think of my first birthdaywith Tim and your song "Loving
You a Long Time."
That's the song that Iremember from that night.
MONICA LABONTE: Oh, that's so cool. (22:30):
undefined
ERIKA RANDALL (22:31):
And I heard it the other day.
And I'm like, oh.
Tim Grassley's birthday.
Oh, and then there was thething with the babysitter,
and Jenny had to leave.
And then I start toremember the whole night
when I hear that song.
MONICA LABONTE (22:39):
Yeah.
Oh, funny.
ERIKA RANDALL (22:40):
And even I remember
the chardonnay I wasdrinking, what brand it
was when I heard that.
I could see the bottlewith the horse on it.
Oh, 14 Hands.
Hearing that song,which I hadn't thought
about until I heard itagain-- and then I was like,
this is now a time capsule.
MONICA LABONTE (22:54):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (22:55):
Yeah.
Music as a keeping time capsule.
MONICA LABONTE (22:57):
I've never even thought about it that way.
I've never heard of--
yeah.
No one's ever toldme that before.
But that's so cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:04):
But we're doing it.
People are doing that.
The people who you putunder your mystic spell
are doing that.
They're taking thatsong, and then they--
yeah.
It moves with them in theirlives and holds a bookmark,
I imagine.
I mean--
MONICA LABONTE: That's really cool. (23:17):
undefined
ERIKA RANDALL (23:17):
It does for me.
MONICA LABONTE (23:18):
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:19):
Yeah, absolutely.
You recently turned 40.
MONICA LABONTE (23:22):
Yes.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:23):
Which feels like a kitten to me,
because I'm now in my 50s.
And I remember turning--
I was talking to Tim abouthow when my neighborhood
friends turned 30,the dudes all bought
themselvesmonogrammed bathrobes,
because they felt like 30.
Like, old.
MONICA LABONTE (23:37):
Established.
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:38):
Yeah.
And so then 40, which italso felt like a thing.
And I had a young kiddo--
I had my kid at 38.
But it doesn't feel like 50.
But it feels like something.
Turning 40 for you, are there--
there's a bookthat you're reading
that other people Iknow who turned 40
started reading this book.
Yeah.
Tell me about this book.
MONICA LABONTE (23:56):
That's so funny.
The book is called Outlive.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:59):
Yeah.
Outlive who?
[LAUGHTER]
MONICA LABONTE (24:03):
That's a good question.
I will say-- sort of offtopic, but on topic--
is that I feel like ourgeneration, my generation,
40 is amazing andvibrant and the best.
I mean, I'm happier andhealthier and more balanced
than I've ever been andclearer in my vision.
(24:23):
And I actually feel likemaybe a real adult. Maybe.
So that's cool.
I'm enjoying it.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:29):
It's so cool.
MONICA LABONTE (24:30):
I mean, I'm only like five days in,
and I'm really--
ERIKA RANDALL (24:32):
You really just turned 40.
MONICA LABONTE (24:33):
On Sunday.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:34):
Oh, happy birthday.
MONICA LABONTE (24:35):
Thanks.
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:36):
Oh, I love that.
OK.
So you have a degree.
You have a degree thatyou're not using, people say.
This is the thing that--do people say that to you?
Because that's what I hearabout from parents or students.
How am I going to use my degree?
You're using your degree.
MONICA LABONTE (24:49):
Oh, for sure.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:50):
For sure.
MONICA LABONTE (24:50):
100%.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:51):
So you feel great about having gotten a degree
that you don't have ashingle over your door
that says speech, language,and hearing scientists?
You don't need that toknow that what you studied
was valuable and isshowing up in your work.
MONICA LABONTE (25:03):
Yeah.
Oh, definitely.
ERIKA RANDALL (25:04):
That's amazing.
MONICA LABONTE: And I have to say, (25:05):
undefined
I was working as aspeech therapy assistant
for the past five years.
But for some reason, I justkeep coming back to music.
And when I show up tomusic, it shows up for me,
and it's always been that way.
And so now, I'vetaken space and time,
and I'm older andwiser, as you now know--
ERIKA RANDALL (25:24):
Yeah, you are.
Five days.
MONICA LABONTE (25:26):
Five whole days.
But I feel like I've come toa place where I can really
do it in a balanced way.
ERIKA RANDALL (25:32):
You can say, this is it.
MONICA LABONTE (25:34):
Yeah.
And take all that knowledgeI got from my degree.
And even beyond just thespecific speech classes,
you make connections, andyou get to know a place.
ERIKA RANDALL: Nothing is for naught. (25:45):
undefined
MONICA LABONTE (25:47):
Exactly.
And even though it took mea million years to graduate,
I did so many cool things, andI met really amazing people.
In this areaspecifically, I put down
roots that are reallyshowing themselves now.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:00):
So the connections
that you made in collegeare still building the world
that you're in.
MONICA LABONTE (26:04):
Oh, 100%.
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:06):
I love that.
OK.
I don't know if you'velistened to the podcast,
so if you know the rules tothis game-- have you listened?
MONICA LABONTE (26:12):
I listened to the ands.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:14):
OK, great.
MONICA LABONTE (26:15):
ANDing.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:15):
The bad ANDing?
MONICA LABONTE (26:16):
The ANDing--
when you AND too much.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:19):
Yeah.
Bad ANDing.
OK.
That's like bad Santa.
But this is a giftthat keeps on giving,
and you don't wantto be a bad ANDer.
It sounds like you've beena good ANDer in your life.
You've got the alchemyof ANDing down,
or does it seem like you stillmaybe AND with too many things?
MONICA LABONTE (26:33):
I used to AND with too many--
I used to be a bad, bad ANDer.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:37):
Give me one example, a bad ANDing.
MONICA LABONTE (26:39):
Well, just like when I was--
I mean, in college, going toschool, I was a server at night.
I was teaching music.
I was doing private lessons.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:49):
Less integrated.
MONICA LABONTE (26:50):
I was gigging, I mean,
just literally runningfrom one thing to the next
and making no money.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:56):
Yeah.
That's not good ANDing.
MONICA LABONTE (26:58):
It is bad.
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:59):
But when you can pause and integrate and bring it
together, that'sthe dream, right?
That when all the thingsyou love can come together.
So on the-- I was goingto say on the talk show.
This isn't a talk show.
But on the podcast, we havea game show called The Quick
and Dirty where Iask you a question,
and you have to be quick, butyou don't have to be dirty.
And you put together thingseither that have and in them,
(27:21):
like favorite folk trio?
Peter, Paul, and Mary.
Or you have the word and init, like the sands of time.
So ready?
MONICA LABONTE (27:31):
I think so.
ERIKA RANDALL (27:32):
You're going to do great.
MONICA LABONTE: I'm very nervous. (27:33):
undefined
ERIKA RANDALL (27:34):
I know everyone gets really nervous.
This is my favorite part.
And this doesn'thave to be real.
Ready?
That's so funny.
My sheet says the sands of time.
I didn't even know--
Tim Grassley.
Your next solo album thatwould have and in it.
It doesn't have to be real.
You can make this up right now.
MONICA LABONTE (27:51):
Just the name of the solo album?
ERIKA RANDALL (27:53):
Yeah.
A dream solo albumthat has and in it.
MONICA LABONTE (27:55):
The--
ERIKA RANDALL (27:57):
Quick, not dirty.
MONICA LABONTE (27:58):
Sorry.
Yeah.
This is not quick.
I'm not being quick at all.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:03):
Tim can edit the ums out.
You'll sound really fast.
MONICA LABONTE (28:06):
This is really terrible.
Can you ask me thequestion again?
ERIKA RANDALL (28:09):
OK.
You're going to make an album.
MONICA LABONTE (28:10):
I'm going to make an album.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:11):
It's going to have multiple things in it.
You're going to connect thosethings with the word and.
It's going to be ona cover of an album,
so you want to like it.
You want to agree with it.
What are those things?
MONICA LABONTE (28:23):
They are, I'm going to say, dreams and sorrow.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:29):
Ooh.
I love dreams and sorrow.
MONICA LABONTE (28:31):
OK, cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:32):
Yeah.
That's really good.
OK.
Famous or not famous, peopleyou know or people you
haven't ever met that youreally want to sing with.
MONICA LABONTE (28:40):
I would love to sing with Gillian Welch or David
Rollins.
Adele would be magical.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:48):
She would be so lucky.
MONICA LABONTE (28:50):
And I'm not going to lie, Taylor Swift.
I just think it'd be cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:55):
It would be amazing.
MONICA LABONTE (28:56):
Oh, Cynthia from Wicked.
I have to-- her voice is like--
ERIKA RANDALL (29:00):
Beyond.
MONICA LABONTE (29:01):
Beyond.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:02):
Yeah.
I was going to say, what areyour favorite Wicked tracks?
Go.
MONICA LABONTE (29:05):
Oh.
"I'm Not That Girl."
And "The Wizard and I."
Those are my two faves.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:10):
And you got the and in there.
MONICA LABONTE (29:12):
Look at me.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:12):
Look at you go.
I know.
MONICA LABONTE (29:13):
I'm winning.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:13):
I was joking with producer Tim that "Defying
Gravity" is like the themesong of perimenopause, Because.
That's what it is.
It's defying gravity.
It's so many newbras, and you have
to keep trying themto get it right.
Just wait.
You've got these 10 years.
Just love it now.
OK.
What are the worst kidnames for folk singers?
MONICA LABONTE (29:30):
Oh.
The worst kid names?
ERIKA RANDALL (29:32):
Yes.
Things you would name yourchild as a folk singer,
that you're like, oh, God.
That so says that myparents are folk singers.
MONICA LABONTE: Well, my son's name (29:38):
undefined
is Cadence, whichfeels very on the nose.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:42):
That's on the nose, but not bad.
MONICA LABONTE (29:44):
No.
I mean--
ERIKA RANDALL (29:46):
I might say to your son, oh, conductor or folk
singer?
MONICA LABONTE (29:50):
Yeah.
Conductor.
That's hilarious.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:53):
The worst.
Terrible.
MONICA LABONTE: Ukulele and G string. (29:56):
undefined
ERIKA RANDALL (29:57):
Oh, my God.
Those were the worst.
MONICA LABONTE (29:59):
Those were bad.
ERIKA RANDALL (30:00):
You win.
OK.
You win.
MONICA LABONTE (30:01):
Thank you.
ERIKA RANDALL (30:02):
The best kept secret music venues in town
that you're going to tell us,and then we're all going to go,
and then going to be ruined.
Go.
MONICA LABONTE (30:08):
In town like Boulder or--
ERIKA RANDALL (30:09):
Ish.
Yeah.
That I could get to go seea show tonight if I wanted.
MONICA LABONTE (30:13):
I feel like Roots Music Project is a really
nice little gem in Boulder.
In Longmont, theTimes Collaborative
is a nice, cute little venue.
Yeah.
I would say-- oh.
If you're into this genre, TheStarHouse up Sunshine Canyon
hosts really--
ERIKA RANDALL (30:33):
Mystical.
MONICA LABONTE (30:34):
Mystical.
Yeah.
Very mystical.
That's a pretty special place.
ERIKA RANDALL (30:39):
OK.
I haven't heard of any of those,so those are good secrets--
except for the secondone that I know.
OK.
Campus spots that bring you warmfuzzies, that take you back down
a nostalgic path.
MONICA LABONTE (30:51):
For some reason, the planetarium, I loved.
I took a couple classesin the planetarium
ERIKA RANDALL (30:57):
Led Zeppelin come to mind?
Did they do a laser show?
MONICA LABONTE (31:00):
I didn't go to the laser show.
These were actual classes.
ERIKA RANDALL (31:04):
That's so rad.
They do a Taylor Swift lasershow at the planetarium.
MONICA LABONTE (31:08):
Oh, my gosh, that's incredible.
I might have to go.
ERIKA RANDALL (31:11):
Oh, I love that.
OK.
Now it's the time whereyou get to tell a send off,
or a birthday wish toyourself, or a blessing,
or for you, maybe,a song lyric that
would be a really incrediblechorus where you start it
with and.
May you feel like younever have to walk
in shoes that collect rocks.
Something like that, but better.
MONICA LABONTE (31:31):
OK.
So I have to writethat right now?
ERIKA RANDALL (31:33):
Right now.
MONICA LABONTE (31:33):
On the spot?
ERIKA RANDALL (31:34):
Right now.
MONICA LABONTE (31:34):
OK.
ERIKA RANDALL (31:34):
That it would be your dream--
if someone was going to carrysomething in their heart
as they went intotheir next adventure,
what would you wantto send them off with?
MONICA LABONTE (31:43):
I guess I'm thinking about my son
as I'm thinking about this like.
May you meet yourchallenges with curiosity
and feel light in your heart.
ERIKA RANDALL (31:58):
And that was CU alum and mystic folk goddess
Monica Labonte on The Ampersand.
For more information aboutMonica and her songwriting
series, "Mixtape,"see our show notes.
The Ampersand is aproduction of the College
of Arts and Sciences at theUniversity of Colorado, Boulder.
It is written and producedby me, Erika Randall,
(32:20):
and Tim Grassley.
If there are peopleyou'd like us
to interview on TheAmpersand, do please email
us at asinfo@colorado.edu.
Our theme music was composedand performed by Nelson Walker,
and the episodes are recorded atInterplay Recording in Boulder,
Colorado.
I'm Erika Randall, andthis is The Ampersand.
(32:40):
[MUSIC PLAYING]
ERIKA RANDALL (00:03):
A and S.
[TYPEWRITER CARRIAGE RETURN]
[INAUDIBLE] here in a second.
MONICA LABONTE (00:09):
OK.
I'm just going to--
I'm going to warmup a little bit.
[MONICA LABONTE, "HIGH NOTES"]
(SINGING) I was walkingdown a long road
Haunted by an old ghost
ERIKA RANDALL (00:20):
I imagine Monica Labonte
in the fullest joy behinda guitar, a banjo, a piano,
an accordion, anyinstrument, really,
even if she doesn'tknow how to play it yet.
Monica is at homebehind a microphone
in a way that lets you knowshe doesn't just love to sing,
isn't just good at it, but wasborn to breathe deep and bring
(00:40):
you to tears.
MONICA LABONTE (00:42):
OK.
Just don't rememberthat last chord.
ERIKA RANDALL (00:50):
I can't imagine Monica
denying her path as amusician and not just leaning
into it as a career from birth.
But as you'll hearon today's episode,
Monica's path wasa winding one that
took her on the musician'sroad and into classrooms,
always with a guitar and a song.
And then for us, thefortunate ANDers,
she decided that musicwas her way forward.
(01:11):
On The Ampersand, we callthis bringing together
of the impossible thealchemy of ANDing.
Together, we'll hear stories ofhumans who imagine and create
by colliding their interests.
Rather than thinking of and asa simple conjunction in that
"ConjunctionJunction" kind of way,
(01:32):
we will hear stories ofpeople who see and as a verb,
a way to speak the beautifulwhen you intentionally let
the soft animal of yourbody love what it loves.
As St. Mary Oliverasks, what is it you
plan to do with your onewild and precious life?
Oh, I love this question.
When I'm mothering,creating, and collaborating,
it reminds me toreplace a singular
(01:54):
idea of what I think I shouldbecome with a full sensory verb
about experiencing.
I'm Erika Randall, and this isMonica Labonte on The Ampersand.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MONICA LABONTE (02:12):
Before my son was born,
I was a full timeworking musician.
I was still playingfive gigs a week.
And I think by the time my soncame, I was ready for a break.
And then the pandemic justchanged the industry so much.
And so I think there was thisnatural pause in music for me
(02:33):
at that time anyways.
It was kind ofalready happening,
or it was about to happen.
And then motherhood is just--
I mean, it really turnsyour world upside down.
So I was ready to put myfocus and energy into my son,
because I discoveredquickly that it was just
too hard to put all the loveand the time and the energy
(02:54):
into both.
I couldn't do bothfor some time.
ERIKA RANDALL (02:57):
What did your schedule look like
as a professional musician?
What was touring like?
What was the gigging like?
What was the writingand recording like?
MONICA LABONTE (03:04):
It was just all over the place.
I was just a yes person,for 10, 15 years,
just saying yes to everygig, to every recording.
I didn't do a wholelot of touring.
But I was part of aband for 10 years,
and we did multiple recordings,and we played festivals
all over the state.
We did just a little bitof touring up to Oregon.
(03:26):
We went to Wyoming one time.
ERIKA RANDALL (03:28):
But there was enough of a scene here
in Colorado.
MONICA LABONTE (03:31):
Oh, for sure.
And then I've been teachingmusic along the way,
so that's kind of--
ERIKA RANDALL (03:36):
Painful.
MONICA LABONTE (03:37):
Kept me afloat.
ERIKA RANDALL (03:38):
Is it torture to teach little people
how to play the banjo?
I mean, that soundslike the worst job ever.
MONICA LABONTE (03:43):
Well, I will say this.
I really appreciate people whocan teach children and do it
for their whole lives.
I discovered over many yearsof different kinds of teaching
and teaching mostly kids--
I've worked with kids inlots of different ways.
But I've really come to realizethat I love teaching adults.
(04:05):
And I do not teach banjo.
ERIKA RANDALL (04:07):
OK.
Because that justisn't going to go well.
MONICA LABONTE (04:10):
Yeah, I do not teach banjo.
I mostly teach voice.
ERIKA RANDALL (04:13):
OK.
And do you ever auditionthem and then say no?
Like if I auditioned,you wouldn't--
MONICA LABONTE (04:18):
No.
ERIKA RANDALL (04:19):
But there's no guarantee, right?
You wouldn't be like,yes, Randall, I got you.
You're going to come out of heredoing all the musical theater
or all the gentle, angryfolk that you want.
What's your slogan for-- howdo people find it-- it's like,
find your voice or--
MONICA LABONTE (04:35):
Oh, right.
ERIKA RANDALL (04:36):
Get recorded?
Or ignore your mother,you've got this?
Or fill your bucket?
How do you come to itwith goals for folks?
MONICA LABONTE (04:45):
Yeah.
The slogan thing's funny.
I've seen that a lot,actually, with voice teachers
have a thing or a slogan.
I do not have athing or a slogan.
I really just meetpeople where they are.
And I don't make any promises,because it's not my work,
it's their work.
So I can show themthe tools, but I
can't promise that anythingis going to happen.
ERIKA RANDALL (05:05):
And we all have the tools
in our bodies to do this?
MONICA LABONTE (05:08):
For sure, yeah.
It's just like Ratatouille.
Anyone can cook.
Anyone can sing.
But it's hard work.
It's hard work.
And singing is so intertwinedwith the heart and the soul
and past experiences.
And this choir teacher told me--
everyone got into thechoir except for me always.
(05:29):
Or my mother toldme I couldn't sing.
A lot of peoplehave these stories.
And so it's interesting,because I almost have to feel--
I almost have to hold aspace of a caretaker or--
ERIKA RANDALL (05:39):
Therapist.
MONICA LABONTE (05:41):
A bit of a therapist.
ERIKA RANDALL (05:41):
I would cry in a lesson with you.
MONICA LABONTE (05:43):
I've cried so many times.
ERIKA RANDALL (05:44):
I'm almost crying when
I'm thinking about me goinginto a lesson with you.
MONICA LABONTE (05:49):
Totally.
It's very vulnerable.
ERIKA RANDALL (05:51):
Yeah.
MONICA LABONTE (05:51):
It's very vulnerable.
And so I will say, I have,over the years of teaching,
the people who come andare willing to at least let
go a little bit of theirstory or those walls--
have their walls, comedown and let go of excuses
and are just willingto try, those
(06:13):
are the most successful people.
ERIKA RANDALL (06:14):
Do you say that to them?
Do you say, if you're coming inhere, you got to peel the onion?
MONICA LABONTE (06:18):
Yeah.
It's cool.
It's such fun work.
And then I have a backgroundin speech therapy,
so I have this knowledgeof the actual system.
ERIKA RANDALL (06:28):
Is that how your degree from CU serves you,
do you think?
MONICA LABONTE (06:31):
Oh, yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (06:32):
The systems learning, the anatomical,
the somatic.
Tell me about that,because that's something
that's so interesting to me.
And also because I wroteabout a character who
was a folk singer who thenbecomes a speech therapist,
so the character of my novelis the opposite of you.
MONICA LABONTE (06:47):
Interesting
ERIKA RANDALL (06:48):
Yeah.
And the book is calledMusic for Leaving.
And I was like, oh my gosh.
I cannot wait togive it to Monica.
MONICA LABONTE (06:52):
Cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (06:53):
Because it's like you, but Benjamin Buttoned.
And so often whenwe get a major,
we don't know whereit's going to land us.
For you, did you think thatthese worlds were connected,
that you always wanted to be asinger and a singer-songwriter,
and you were studyingthis in college?
Or how did that work for you?
Tell me about that path.
MONICA LABONTE (07:11):
The path was just so messy.
I took seven yearsto graduate college
with my bachelor's, becauseI couldn't land on one thing.
And I did some worldtraveling in there.
And I was a ski bum onewinter up in Beaver Creek,
and I met one ofmy dear friends.
(07:31):
Her name is Abby.
And she brought me to a campcalled Camp ASCCA in Alabama,
and I became the music andarts and crafts director
for this camp.
And it's for children andadults with disabilities.
And from that job, Ijust really fostered
a love of taking care of peopleand being in a therapeutic role.
ERIKA RANDALL (07:53):
And that was before you
declared speech therapy, speechlanguage therapy, as well.
MONICA LABONTE (07:57):
Yeah.
So from there-- and I had neverhad an opportunity to work with
people with disabilities,so that was my first--
that experience justchanged my course.
ERIKA RANDALL (08:06):
And there were generations at this camp.
They were all ages.
MONICA LABONTE (08:10):
Yeah.
All ages.
I think it's 6 to--
I don't know.
70 something.
And every week islike a different age
group and a different--
ERIKA RANDALL (08:17):
That's huge to just walk into--
MONICA LABONTE (08:19):
It was wild.
ERIKA RANDALL (08:20):
--without prep.
MONICA LABONTE (08:21):
Yeah.
Oh, it was wild.
And going from a ski bum to--
ERIKA RANDALL (08:25):
Yeah.
Hyper able community to adifferent community that
has different requirements.
What was the biggest thingthat that job, that position,
asked of you that youhad to find or tap into
that you didn't maybenecessarily resource yourself
with before?
MONICA LABONTE (08:41):
I would say it was the first time
that I couldn't be selfish.
And I was young, and--
ERIKA RANDALL (08:48):
Which is the perfect time to be selfish.
MONICA LABONTE (08:50):
Exactly.
ERIKA RANDALL (08:50):
And then also to learn that that's not--
MONICA LABONTE (08:52):
Yeah.
So I had to learnto not be selfish,
and it required meto be very humble
and just be so present because--
yeah.
This populationis so vulnerable,
but they're soloving and so kind,
and so there's a lot of magic.
And it really, truly changedthe course of my life.
ERIKA RANDALL (09:15):
And so from there you went back to school
with a new focus?
MONICA LABONTE (09:18):
Yeah.
So I declared musictherapy, actually.
And I went to CSU,which is where
I reconnected with my husband.
And music therapy--it just didn't feel--
I was like, I don't know ifI want to marry these two
worlds in such a direct way.
ERIKA RANDALL (09:35):
It's really specific.
MONICA LABONTE (09:36):
It just felt too direct.
I love music somuch, and I loved
working with peoplewith disabilities,
but I didn't wantto marry the two.
It didn't feellike the right fit.
So then I found thespeech therapy program
at CU, and that--
ERIKA RANDALL (09:50):
I love that you had to go further outside.
It was too close here--
MONICA LABONTE (09:54):
Yes.
ERIKA RANDALL (09:55):
--when they were nesting organically.
You're like, no, no, no.
I got to mix it up with myown and put a little tension
between the two.
MONICA LABONTE (10:02):
Yes.
Add some space.
And a lot of people askme, not knowing my past,
why don't you do music therapy?
It just seems likethe obvious choice.
ERIKA RANDALL: You're like, I don't (10:14):
undefined
want to do the obvious choice.
MONICA LABONTE (10:15):
Yeah.
It's too obvious.
I needed something morein depth, more well--
and music therapy is incredible.
I really believe inthe work that they do.
ERIKA RANDALL (10:25):
But the two obvious--
producer Tim and I aretalking about this a lot,
because so many studentsand student parents
and administrators arelike, how does this major
get you to a career?
They kind of want the obvious,but it's the not so obvious
that actually getsus more excited.
Because when we talkto folks like you,
that's how you stay lit to theworlds of your life instead of,
this is the thing.
(10:45):
Square peg, square fit.
No.
For you, that wasnot going to work.
But people still ask.
They still imagineback to what maybe
would have been more obvious.
And your answer is, tried it.
MONICA LABONTE (10:56):
Yeah.
Didn't work.
ERIKA RANDALL (10:59):
Respect.
Not it.
MONICA LABONTE (10:59):
Yeah, totally.
So I went to CUfor speech therapy,
and I loved studyingall the things speech.
But at the same time, Iwas also cutting my teeth
as a songwriter in Boulder.
All that to say, I wasn'tmaybe the best student,
(11:20):
because my passions wereso divided at that point.
And I was having somuch fun playing music.
ERIKA RANDALL (11:26):
And it wasn't brutal playing in the coffee
shop culture where it feelslike no one's listening,
and they're all talking, orthey have their headphones on?
You were OK with that?
MONICA LABONTE (11:34):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL: Because it gave you (11:35):
undefined
a time to practice your craft.
MONICA LABONTE (11:36):
Exactly.
ERIKA RANDALL (11:37):
Is that what it felt like?
MONICA LABONTE (11:38):
Yeah.
And it's still that way.
I still have gigsthat are like that.
And I guess sometimesit used to bother me.
Aren't you hearinghow hard we worked
and the songs that we wrote?
But now I see thatthere's a time and a place
for different kindsof performances,
and the backgroundgigs are fine.
(11:59):
It's no big deal.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:00):
Do you think of them as that,
as background gigs?
MONICA LABONTE (12:02):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:02):
You're playing back up
to the scene of the worldthat the people are in.
It's not that you are-- it'snot the audience exchange that's
direct.
MONICA LABONTE (12:09):
Exactly.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:09):
Because the time that I've seen you--
I was there for mybuddy, producer Tim,
but I was quickly very muchin a proscenium setting there
for you, staring, riveted,cheering, listening
to every lyric.
So that when I was listeningto your music, I'm like oh,
I remember hearing that song.
I remember hearing that.
Do you prefer that, when youhave that audience who's rapt
and who's kind of in your spell?
MONICA LABONTE (12:27):
Yeah, I do.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:28):
Yeah.
Because you're a spell weaver.
It's true.
MONICA LABONTE (12:32):
But see, you're that kind of person.
You, as an audiencemember, is like the best.
ERIKA RANDALL (12:36):
You can feel us.
You're not scared we'regoing to stalk you later.
You are singing to us ina way that feels safe.
We're not threateningin any way,
because I really fall in love.
And I'm like, oh my God.
And they're inlove with me, too.
But do you fall in love withyour audience like that?
Do you connect?
You see the people who care.
MONICA LABONTE: For me, performance (12:53):
undefined
has become very personal,especially with the songs that
have come out.
Turns out I justwrite very melancholy,
kind of sad or darksongs most of the time.
ERIKA RANDALL (13:06):
But that's not how you go through the world.
MONICA LABONTE (13:08):
No.
It used to be, though.
It used to be.
ERIKA RANDALL (13:12):
OK.
So it feels likea vestige of you
that processes now-- ormaybe helps you process
so that you aren't that.
MONICA LABONTE (13:19):
Maybe, yeah.
Yeah.
I try to write happy songs,and I just can't do it.
ERIKA RANDALL (13:23):
But I listen to your songs, and I feel happy.
MONICA LABONTE (13:25):
Oh, good.
ERIKA RANDALL (13:26):
I don't feel--
I mean, I love melancholy.
That is my shade.
But I listen toyour music, and I
feel like, oh, I could listento this on a day with sun
and want to be walking in theworld, not sitting at home,
writing in my own journal.
It feels real andfrom your body,
(13:47):
but it doesn't feeldark and haunting.
You don't feel haunted bywhat you're singing about.
Does that feel true for you?
MONICA LABONTE: Yeah, I think so. (13:55):
undefined
I think so.
I think for a lotof songs-- well,
my songwriting will often comefrom a place of pain or sorrow
or heartbreak.
But yeah.
I think over theyears, I think what
you're saying isI've learned how
to weave it inwith some sunshine
and maybe lightenit up a little bit.
(14:16):
But I'm not going to be writinglike a funny John Prine song
anytime soon.
That's just not my style.
ERIKA RANDALL (14:23):
No.
So can you give us anexample of a lyric that
feels like close to home butalso threads some dapple in it?
MONICA LABONTE (14:34):
Oh, no.
Actually, the banjosong would work.
OK.
So in the chorus--
ERIKA RANDALL (14:38):
You want to play that song?
MONICA LABONTE (14:39):
Oh, yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (14:40):
I really, really, really want to hear you sing.
MONICA LABONTE (14:43):
OK.
Oh, sorry.
Ready?
OK.
[BANJO PLAYING]
This is a songcalled High Notes.
[MONICA LABONTE, "HIGH NOTES"]
(15:06):
(SINGING) I was walkingdown a long road
Haunted by a rogue ghost
An outline of a body
Tracing my every step
Feeling that I could not shake
You're with me at the wake
Hugging me tightly
(15:28):
Just like the autumn sun
Can you hear my song?
The one I wrote a long time ago?
Did I hit those high notes?
(15:51):
I'm pining for a timeI'll hear your voice again
Soft hands and hard keys
(16:12):
Sitting on thebench, cheek to cheek
And I still think I canhear your music playing
You taught me all theduets with love and joy
And all the rest would onlybe second best against my time
with you
(16:35):
Can you hear my song?
The one I wrote a long time ago?
Did I hit those high notes?
I'm pining for a timeI'll hear your voice again
(17:00):
Maybe it's better yourlove is in my heart
Through the stormy weather, yourlove burns through to the dark
In your memory
I am set free
I feel your goodnessand your music in me
(17:29):
Now, the wind blowsthrough the trees
Hear the hushing of the leaves
Demanding quiet, please,to pause and think of why
Those shadows are tailing me
No angels are whispering
I want you to come on back
(17:51):
Come back and haunt me
So you can hear my song
The one I wrote a long time ago
And you can hear my notes
(18:14):
I'm pining for a timeI'll hear your voice again
I'm pining for a timeI'll hear your voice again
ERIKA RANDALL (18:35):
Oh, I feel so lucky.
MONICA LABONTE (18:36):
You're so sweet.
ERIKA RANDALL: Beautiful, Monica. (18:38):
undefined
Wow.
Well, I'm the lucky one.
Thanks for that.
MONICA LABONTE (18:44):
Thank you.
ERIKA RANDALL (18:45):
Yeah.
So you like to write ina space of post-process?
You're not like T. Swift,where somebody does you wrong,
and you're at thegrocery store, and you're
going to go home andwrite that song about how
they cut you off and puttheir cart in front of yours?
You wait a minute.
MONICA LABONTE (18:59):
I think I wait a minute.
I wait a long minute, actually.
ERIKA RANDALL (19:03):
There you go.
MONICA LABONTE (19:04):
Lots and lots of time between what happens
and then when the songhappens, for sure.
That's interesting.
I've never thoughtabout it that way.
ERIKA RANDALL (19:11):
Does that feel true?
MONICA LABONTE (19:12):
Yeah.
Yeah, it does.
And every now and then,things will pop up
that feel more immediate thatmake their way into songs.
But yeah, it's not like-- yeah.
I don't get cut off intraffic and then go rage,
write a folk song.
ERIKA RANDALL (19:27):
Did you listen to folk as a kid?
And who first introduced youto music where you heard it?
For me, it's always mymom and then my sister.
So my mom tracked me CatStevens and Janis Ian.
And then my sisterstarted to pull me
more towards the alt ofR.E.M. and Sinead O'Connor.
(19:48):
And then my dad gave me jazz.
Do you have that lineage,that family tree of music,
or the humans that are in yourlife that got you listening,
and then where you keptgoing on that listening path?
MONICA LABONTE (19:58):
Yes.
Oh, for sure.
So my mom sings, and sheplays guitar and piano.
From her, I got CaroleKing, Townes Van Zandt.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:09):
Do you sing together?
MONICA LABONTE (20:10):
Yes.
Yeah.
So we sang in church growing up.
That's where I-- whenI started cantering,
when I first cantered, Iwas like, oh, this is fun.
I really enjoyed cantering andbeing in front of everyone.
And that kind of startedmaybe my performance journey.
So yeah, we sang inchurches for a long time.
(20:32):
In college, I wouldinvite her to come up,
and we would do littlecoffee shop gigs.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:37):
With your mom?
MONICA LABONTE (20:38):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:38):
In college?
MONICA LABONTE (20:39):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:39):
The sound of Boulder
was folk withMonica and her mom?
MONICA LABONTE (20:42):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:43):
That's amazing.
MONICA LABONTE (20:44):
Totally.
Yeah.
We had a gig at the DairyCenter for the Arts.
Way back.
I mean, a million years ago.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:50):
Did you call yourself a thing?
MONICA LABONTE (20:52):
No.
ERIKA RANDALL (20:54):
You and me against the world.
Did you-- OK.
So you've got your mom.
She's a folk singer.
MONICA LABONTE (21:00):
Yeah.
Mom, folk.
And then my dad was reallybig into vinyl and records.
And so often on theweekends, a Friday night,
we would turn all the lightsoff and sit in the living room
and just listen to music.
And it was really special,very, very special.
I can still feel the feelingsI felt when I was a kid doing
(21:21):
that with my parents.
That was really cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (21:23):
That's like sacred secular.
MONICA LABONTE (21:24):
Yeah.
It's very cool.
And that was like BobDylan, the Gipsy Kings.
ERIKA RANDALL (21:29):
Oh, I am huge with the Gipsy Kings.
MONICA LABONTE (21:31):
Really?
ERIKA RANDALL (21:32):
And I just saw them in concert,
because my mom died,and I'm like, I have to.
They were in Denver.
MONICA LABONTE (21:35):
Oh my gosh, I didn't know they were still--
ERIKA RANDALL (21:37):
Oh, yeah.
They have so many albums.
MONICA LABONTE (21:39):
Cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (21:40):
Oh, they were amazing.
Oh, the Gipsy Kings.
In the dark on Friday night.
MONICA LABONTE (21:44):
Yes.
Yep.
ERIKA RANDALL (21:47):
And Bob Dylan.
OK.
So I have a Bob Dylan question.
Watching the film, I'mlike watching him--
the actor version, Timothee,look at the Joan actress
version.
And even then, itseems like he's just
singing down to his own thing.
When I watched you perform,you are having conversations.
MONICA LABONTE (22:06):
Yeah.
And I love that.
Yes.
And that could be just beingso connected to singing
and singing with my mom growingup and then being in choirs--
I mean, it's really afundamental part of who I am.
ERIKA RANDALL (22:20):
Is it wild to think that your music is holding
people's memories together?
I'll think of my first birthdaywith Tim and your song "Loving
You a Long Time."
That's the song that Iremember from that night.
MONICA LABONTE: Oh, that's so cool. (22:30):
undefined
ERIKA RANDALL (22:31):
And I heard it the other day.
And I'm like, oh.
Tim Grassley's birthday.
Oh, and then there was thething with the babysitter,
and Jenny had to leave.
And then I start toremember the whole night
when I hear that song.
MONICA LABONTE (22:39):
Yeah.
Oh, funny.
ERIKA RANDALL (22:40):
And even I remember
the chardonnay I wasdrinking, what brand it
was when I heard that.
I could see the bottlewith the horse on it.
Oh, 14 Hands.
Hearing that song,which I hadn't thought
about until I heard itagain-- and then I was like,
this is now a time capsule.
MONICA LABONTE (22:54):
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (22:55):
Yeah.
Music as a keeping time capsule.
MONICA LABONTE (22:57):
I've never even thought about it that way.
I've never heard of--
yeah.
No one's ever toldme that before.
But that's so cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:04):
But we're doing it.
People are doing that.
The people who you putunder your mystic spell
are doing that.
They're taking thatsong, and then they--
yeah.
It moves with them in theirlives and holds a bookmark,
I imagine.
I mean--
MONICA LABONTE: That's really cool. (23:17):
undefined
ERIKA RANDALL (23:17):
It does for me.
MONICA LABONTE (23:18):
Yeah.
I appreciate that.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:19):
Yeah, absolutely.
You recently turned 40.
MONICA LABONTE (23:22):
Yes.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:23):
Which feels like a kitten to me,
because I'm now in my 50s.
And I remember turning--
I was talking to Tim abouthow when my neighborhood
friends turned 30,the dudes all bought
themselvesmonogrammed bathrobes,
because they felt like 30.
Like, old.
MONICA LABONTE (23:37):
Established.
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:38):
Yeah.
And so then 40, which italso felt like a thing.
And I had a young kiddo--
I had my kid at 38.
But it doesn't feel like 50.
But it feels like something.
Turning 40 for you, are there--
there's a bookthat you're reading
that other people Iknow who turned 40
started reading this book.
Yeah.
Tell me about this book.
MONICA LABONTE (23:56):
That's so funny.
The book is called Outlive.
ERIKA RANDALL (23:59):
Yeah.
Outlive who?
[LAUGHTER]
MONICA LABONTE (24:03):
That's a good question.
I will say-- sort of offtopic, but on topic--
is that I feel like ourgeneration, my generation,
40 is amazing andvibrant and the best.
I mean, I'm happier andhealthier and more balanced
than I've ever been andclearer in my vision.
(24:23):
And I actually feel likemaybe a real adult. Maybe.
So that's cool.
I'm enjoying it.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:29):
It's so cool.
MONICA LABONTE (24:30):
I mean, I'm only like five days in,
and I'm really--
ERIKA RANDALL (24:32):
You really just turned 40.
MONICA LABONTE (24:33):
On Sunday.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:34):
Oh, happy birthday.
MONICA LABONTE (24:35):
Thanks.
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:36):
Oh, I love that.
OK.
So you have a degree.
You have a degree thatyou're not using, people say.
This is the thing that--do people say that to you?
Because that's what I hearabout from parents or students.
How am I going to use my degree?
You're using your degree.
MONICA LABONTE (24:49):
Oh, for sure.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:50):
For sure.
MONICA LABONTE (24:50):
100%.
ERIKA RANDALL (24:51):
So you feel great about having gotten a degree
that you don't have ashingle over your door
that says speech, language,and hearing scientists?
You don't need that toknow that what you studied
was valuable and isshowing up in your work.
MONICA LABONTE (25:03):
Yeah.
Oh, definitely.
ERIKA RANDALL (25:04):
That's amazing.
MONICA LABONTE: And I have to say, (25:05):
undefined
I was working as aspeech therapy assistant
for the past five years.
But for some reason, I justkeep coming back to music.
And when I show up tomusic, it shows up for me,
and it's always been that way.
And so now, I'vetaken space and time,
and I'm older andwiser, as you now know--
ERIKA RANDALL (25:24):
Yeah, you are.
Five days.
MONICA LABONTE (25:26):
Five whole days.
But I feel like I've come toa place where I can really
do it in a balanced way.
ERIKA RANDALL (25:32):
You can say, this is it.
MONICA LABONTE (25:34):
Yeah.
And take all that knowledgeI got from my degree.
And even beyond just thespecific speech classes,
you make connections, andyou get to know a place.
ERIKA RANDALL: Nothing is for naught. (25:45):
undefined
MONICA LABONTE (25:47):
Exactly.
And even though it took mea million years to graduate,
I did so many cool things, andI met really amazing people.
In this areaspecifically, I put down
roots that are reallyshowing themselves now.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:00):
So the connections
that you made in collegeare still building the world
that you're in.
MONICA LABONTE (26:04):
Oh, 100%.
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:06):
I love that.
OK.
I don't know if you'velistened to the podcast,
so if you know the rules tothis game-- have you listened?
MONICA LABONTE (26:12):
I listened to the ands.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:14):
OK, great.
MONICA LABONTE (26:15):
ANDing.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:15):
The bad ANDing?
MONICA LABONTE (26:16):
The ANDing--
when you AND too much.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:19):
Yeah.
Bad ANDing.
OK.
That's like bad Santa.
But this is a giftthat keeps on giving,
and you don't wantto be a bad ANDer.
It sounds like you've beena good ANDer in your life.
You've got the alchemyof ANDing down,
or does it seem like you stillmaybe AND with too many things?
MONICA LABONTE (26:33):
I used to AND with too many--
I used to be a bad, bad ANDer.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:37):
Give me one example, a bad ANDing.
MONICA LABONTE (26:39):
Well, just like when I was--
I mean, in college, going toschool, I was a server at night.
I was teaching music.
I was doing private lessons.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:49):
Less integrated.
MONICA LABONTE (26:50):
I was gigging, I mean,
just literally runningfrom one thing to the next
and making no money.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:56):
Yeah.
That's not good ANDing.
MONICA LABONTE (26:58):
It is bad.
Yeah.
ERIKA RANDALL (26:59):
But when you can pause and integrate and bring it
together, that'sthe dream, right?
That when all the thingsyou love can come together.
So on the-- I was goingto say on the talk show.
This isn't a talk show.
But on the podcast, we havea game show called The Quick
and Dirty where Iask you a question,
and you have to be quick, butyou don't have to be dirty.
And you put together thingseither that have and in them,
(27:21):
like favorite folk trio?
Peter, Paul, and Mary.
Or you have the word and init, like the sands of time.
So ready?
MONICA LABONTE (27:31):
I think so.
ERIKA RANDALL (27:32):
You're going to do great.
MONICA LABONTE: I'm very nervous. (27:33):
undefined
ERIKA RANDALL (27:34):
I know everyone gets really nervous.
This is my favorite part.
And this doesn'thave to be real.
Ready?
That's so funny.
My sheet says the sands of time.
I didn't even know--
Tim Grassley.
Your next solo album thatwould have and in it.
It doesn't have to be real.
You can make this up right now.
MONICA LABONTE (27:51):
Just the name of the solo album?
ERIKA RANDALL (27:53):
Yeah.
A dream solo albumthat has and in it.
MONICA LABONTE (27:55):
The--
ERIKA RANDALL (27:57):
Quick, not dirty.
MONICA LABONTE (27:58):
Sorry.
Yeah.
This is not quick.
I'm not being quick at all.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:03):
Tim can edit the ums out.
You'll sound really fast.
MONICA LABONTE (28:06):
This is really terrible.
Can you ask me thequestion again?
ERIKA RANDALL (28:09):
OK.
You're going to make an album.
MONICA LABONTE (28:10):
I'm going to make an album.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:11):
It's going to have multiple things in it.
You're going to connect thosethings with the word and.
It's going to be ona cover of an album,
so you want to like it.
You want to agree with it.
What are those things?
MONICA LABONTE (28:23):
They are, I'm going to say, dreams and sorrow.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:29):
Ooh.
I love dreams and sorrow.
MONICA LABONTE (28:31):
OK, cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:32):
Yeah.
That's really good.
OK.
Famous or not famous, peopleyou know or people you
haven't ever met that youreally want to sing with.
MONICA LABONTE (28:40):
I would love to sing with Gillian Welch or David
Rollins.
Adele would be magical.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:48):
She would be so lucky.
MONICA LABONTE (28:50):
And I'm not going to lie, Taylor Swift.
I just think it'd be cool.
ERIKA RANDALL (28:55):
It would be amazing.
MONICA LABONTE (28:56):
Oh, Cynthia from Wicked.
I have to-- her voice is like--
ERIKA RANDALL (29:00):
Beyond.
MONICA LABONTE (29:01):
Beyond.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:02):
Yeah.
I was going to say, what areyour favorite Wicked tracks?
Go.
MONICA LABONTE (29:05):
Oh.
"I'm Not That Girl."
And "The Wizard and I."
Those are my two faves.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:10):
And you got the and in there.
MONICA LABONTE (29:12):
Look at me.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:12):
Look at you go.
I know.
MONICA LABONTE (29:13):
I'm winning.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:13):
I was joking with producer Tim that "Defying
Gravity" is like the themesong of perimenopause, Because.
That's what it is.
It's defying gravity.
It's so many newbras, and you have
to keep trying themto get it right.
Just wait.
You've got these 10 years.
Just love it now.
OK.
What are the worst kidnames for folk singers?
MONICA LABONTE (29:30):
Oh.
The worst kid names?
ERIKA RANDALL (29:32):
Yes.
Things you would name yourchild as a folk singer,
that you're like, oh, God.
That so says that myparents are folk singers.
MONICA LABONTE: Well, my son's name (29:38):
undefined
is Cadence, whichfeels very on the nose.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:42):
That's on the nose, but not bad.
MONICA LABONTE (29:44):
No.
I mean--
ERIKA RANDALL (29:46):
I might say to your son, oh, conductor or folk
singer?
MONICA LABONTE (29:50):
Yeah.
Conductor.
That's hilarious.
ERIKA RANDALL (29:53):
The worst.
Terrible.
MONICA LABONTE: Ukulele and G string. (29:56):
undefined
ERIKA RANDALL (29:57):
Oh, my God.
Those were the worst.
MONICA LABONTE (29:59):
Those were bad.
ERIKA RANDALL (30:00):
You win.
OK.
You win.
MONICA LABONTE (30:01):
Thank you.
ERIKA RANDALL (30:02):
The best kept secret music venues in town
that you're going to tell us,and then we're all going to go,
and then going to be ruined.
Go.
MONICA LABONTE (30:08):
In town like Boulder or--
ERIKA RANDALL (30:09):
Ish.
Yeah.
That I could get to go seea show tonight if I wanted.
MONICA LABONTE (30:13):
I feel like Roots Music Project is a really
nice little gem in Boulder.
In Longmont, theTimes Collaborative
is a nice, cute little venue.
Yeah.
I would say-- oh.
If you're into this genre, TheStarHouse up Sunshine Canyon
hosts really--
ERIKA RANDALL (30:33):
Mystical.
MONICA LABONTE (30:34):
Mystical.
Yeah.
Very mystical.
That's a pretty special place.
ERIKA RANDALL (30:39):
OK.
I haven't heard of any of those,so those are good secrets--
except for the secondone that I know.
OK.
Campus spots that bring you warmfuzzies, that take you back down
a nostalgic path.
MONICA LABONTE (30:51):
For some reason, the planetarium, I loved.
I took a couple classesin the planetarium
ERIKA RANDALL (30:57):
Led Zeppelin come to mind?
Did they do a laser show?
MONICA LABONTE (31:00):
I didn't go to the laser show.
These were actual classes.
ERIKA RANDALL (31:04):
That's so rad.
They do a Taylor Swift lasershow at the planetarium.
MONICA LABONTE (31:08):
Oh, my gosh, that's incredible.
I might have to go.
ERIKA RANDALL (31:11):
Oh, I love that.
OK.
Now it's the time whereyou get to tell a send off,
or a birthday wish toyourself, or a blessing,
or for you, maybe,a song lyric that
would be a really incrediblechorus where you start it
with and.
May you feel like younever have to walk
in shoes that collect rocks.
Something like that, but better.
MONICA LABONTE (31:31):
OK.
So I have to writethat right now?
ERIKA RANDALL (31:33):
Right now.
MONICA LABONTE (31:33):
On the spot?
ERIKA RANDALL (31:34):
Right now.
MONICA LABONTE (31:34):
OK.
ERIKA RANDALL (31:34):
That it would be your dream--
if someone was going to carrysomething in their heart
as they went intotheir next adventure,
what would you wantto send them off with?
MONICA LABONTE (31:43):
I guess I'm thinking about my son
as I'm thinking about this like.
May you meet yourchallenges with curiosity
and feel light in your heart.
ERIKA RANDALL (31:58):
And that was CU alum and mystic folk goddess
Monica Labonte on The Ampersand.
For more information aboutMonica and her songwriting
series, "Mixtape,"see our show notes.
The Ampersand is aproduction of the College
of Arts and Sciences at theUniversity of Colorado, Boulder.
It is written and producedby me, Erika Randall,
(32:20):
and Tim Grassley.
If there are peopleyou'd like us
to interview on TheAmpersand, do please email
us at asinfo@colorado.edu.
Our theme music was composedand performed by Nelson Walker,
and the episodes are recorded atInterplay Recording in Boulder,
Colorado.
I'm Erika Randall, andthis is The Ampersand.
(32:40):
[MUSIC PLAYING]
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