May 16, 2024 • 33 mins
Ever imagine Kevin Hart donning Snow White's iconic dress or Jack Black swinging Red Riding Hood's basket? That's the sort of hilarity you'll encounter as we, your irreverent guides RJ and Andrew from Backseat Critics, celebrate the riotous "Avengers: Grim Time War." Our latest episode isn't just a love letter to the film; it's a rollicking, plot-twisting journey through a fairy tale mashup that's as unpredictable as it is delightful. We're dissecting everything from laugh-out-loud aging makeup effects that'd give "Attack of the Clones" a run for its money to the plausibility of Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter gatecrashing this fantasy bonanza. Buckle up for this high-octane review that's as peppered with chuckles as it is with cheeky casting suggestions.
As we navigate the labyrinth of this epic's runtime, we can't help but muse whether a dash of El Chupacabra or a sprinkle of Candyman might have saved us from a tale that overstayed its welcome. Sure, we're handing out standing ovations on the one hand, but on the other, we're mulling over the potential of a TV series spinoff that could've kept us hooked without checking our watches. Tune in for a no-holds-barred critique that's as honest as it is entertaining, and join the conversation on Instagram, YouTube, or wherever you feast on podcasts. Remember, we're the Backseat Critics—where we take the backseat so your imagination can drive.
As we navigate the labyrinth of this epic's runtime, we can't help but muse whether a dash of El Chupacabra or a sprinkle of Candyman might have saved us from a tale that overstayed its welcome. Sure, we're handing out standing ovations on the one hand, but on the other, we're mulling over the potential of a TV series spinoff that could've kept us hooked without checking our watches. Tune in for a no-holds-barred critique that's as honest as it is entertaining, and join the conversation on Instagram, YouTube, or wherever you feast on podcasts. Remember, we're the Backseat Critics—where we take the backseat so your imagination can drive.
Hosted by Andrew and RJ, this Portland-based movie review podcast blends sharp takes, nostalgic dives, and unfiltered banter. Whether you're a cinephile or just here for the chaos, we've got movies covered — one awkward laugh at a time. Follow and subscribe for weekly episodes on cult classics, overlooked gems, and everything in between.
Be sure to hit like if you like this podcast.
- Email us at: thebackseatcritics@gmail.com
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Also be sure to follow our friends over at Play No Games Podcast on YouTube. They are also on Instagram @lookhere.playnogamespod.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
today we're talking about avengers, grim time war
welcome back to the backseatcritics.
My name is r j hey guys, I'mandrew oh fantastic this podcast
where, uh, we generally talkabout movies that you should
(00:25):
steer clear of.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
But this movie you want to steer into.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You do Full Force.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Time Wars.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
You know I'm dropping it right now.
This is my final thoughts.
Everyone should watch this.
All kids should watch this.
Five out of five stars.
I see no flaws.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Five out of five.
No, not the ten out of ten.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Five out of five, ten out of five stars.
I see no flaws.
Five out of five, not a 10 outof 10.
Five out of five, 10 out of 10,however you want to dice it, oh
, okay, it's a perfect movie.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
It was cut the acting gold.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I mean Sleeping Beauty Woo.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
What did you think of Snow White, aurora Woo, little
Red Riding Hood?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah, alice, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Alice.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Snow White Slim Beauty Woo.
Well, we got a one-minutesummary.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I believe I'm sorry, that was really rude of me.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
That was very rude of you, yeah no, I apologize, I'm
appalled you know, I me.
That was very rude of you.
Yeah, no, I apologize, I'mappalled.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
You know I made fun of someone there for a joke.
That's unnecessary.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
But we are here for the one-minute summary.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
We are, and you know what.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's your turn, I think.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
It is my turn.
I was going to be the big manand volunteer, but I think it's
your turn anyway.
So, with that being said, youknow I'm gonna volunteer for
this.
I'm taking one for the team.
Oh okay, so we start off.
(01:59):
Uh and uh, do pop soup.
Portal sees um not john voighton the beach combing through the
sand.
And Okay, cool, sorry, I wasjust checking the audio there.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Oh, let's see the timer.
I started a little late, butyou're at 48 seconds in.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah, no.
And then he's chased by GilLady and Gil Army and they chase
him and she's like I want thering and to marry you, but
mostly just ring because give mepowers over things.
And he's like, no, I'll neverdo that.
And then the, the avengers, whoare just, uh, snow white, red
(02:36):
riding hood, alice the madhatter, 20 seconds and uh,
aurora, and I think that's it,is that it, I think so.
There's like five of them 20seconds.
And Aurora, and I think that'sit.
Is that it, I think so.
There's like five of them 10seconds.
Anyways, they save it, theystop, snow White gets the ring,
(02:56):
they get married, live happilyever after, like, hey, we're
going to be through LookingGlass, avengers, you're done,
we're done.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I'm not sure if that's how the Sure you got
stuck on names there.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
What names?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Aurora.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Aurora, anyways.
So we're going to dive into anow kind of classic topic for us
.
We've got some A-grade actorshere.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Fantastic actors.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But if you had to replace it with someone else in
the non-adult industry industry,who are you replacing them with
?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I am gonna go.
Kevin hart not too much kevinhart in the world these days.
I take that back.
I'm going to go.
Jack Black, give me Jack Black.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Jack Black is who.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Rumpelstiltskin.
Oh, jack Black isRumpelstiltskin, give me that.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Jack Black is Rumpelstiltskin.
Okay, that's what I'm feeling.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I'm feeling Rumpelstiltskin is probably the
easiest character to replace inthis movie to enhance the movie
and I feel like jack black is myguy, I feel like he'd deliver.
Give me some more humor behindwhat is a fit, more fan.
It gives it a little a littletouch about making it closer to
just being impeccable yeah whoyou at um.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Alright, hear me out fantastic right, so I'm I'm
going to go with man, I just hadit.
Uh, I'm gonna replace PrinceCharming with Will Ferrell.
Man, I just had it.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I'm going to replace Prince Charming with.
Will Ferrell who played Cyclops?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
in.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
X-Men.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I don't know.
Do you think he would play abetter Prince Charming?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
maybe Army Hammer, only if he's eating people.
Do you think he would play a?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
better Prince Charming, maybe Armie Hammer,
only if he's eating people.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Armie Hammer, though I think.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Russell Crowe.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Sure, paul Giamatti, you know, just throw that in
there for you, judi Dench, judiDench money you know, just throw
that in there for you, judydench judy dench who wouldn't,
who wouldn't go after princecharming if prince charming was
judy dench?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
um you know I think, rob, I think.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Rob.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Finish that thought.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Gilbert Okay Arenas.
He might not, he might not, hemight not?
Speaker 1 (06:17):
You think?
Our man, Cartier Bob, is notgoing for Dame Judi Dench?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
No, I think he's going for that person.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
What he's going for, judi Dench.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
No.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You think he's crushing on Judi Dench?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
No.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Oh, hey, hey hey.
New way to terrorize PlanoGames, Because we know they're
not going to listen to this part.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
No, they just skipped over it.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
We should find just some print off, some pictures of
Judi Dench, find somememorabilia about Judi Dench,
and just one piece at a time,Just slowly start bringing it
into the studio.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Judi.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Dench.
Judi Dench.
Give it two months play nogames podcast.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
it's gonna be all about dame judy dench so we
start on an island, not anisland, I guess an ocean.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
It's a beach, it's a beach it's a terrible beach
there it's like a tropical beach, but then their headquarters
are in la.
They're showing establishingshots from new york and then the
forest is.
I don't know.
It's northern california, is myassumption.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I just think it's funny that this old man is
sitting on the beach and thisgal appears and he's just like
whoa, she's beautiful wowie,wowie, wowie I'm sorry if
anybody appears just randomly,I'm gone just like out of a puff
of smoke.
I'm gone.
It was like a magical blue dustor electric thing sure, just
(08:04):
boof there's somebody same withthe prince charming, though
didn't he just magically appearas well?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
yeah, well, yeah, prince charming, like jumped out
through one yeah uh did,because you've you've seen the
first one.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
This is a second yeah , this is the second one does
the first one leave off in acliffhanger?
Not that I remember I believethey defeat that rumplestiltskin
.
Just kind of leave that there,okay, and you got mr lou frigno
in it lou frigno in the firstone.
Lou frigno plays in the firstone.
I I was kind of shocked.
I was like what is mr lou doinghere?
(08:37):
no kidding yeah, he's like ironjohn or something like that.
I think he's supposed to belike John Henry.
Okay, I think that because he'snot, obviously, he can't be
John Henry.
So I think they just made himIron John and made him like a
(08:58):
metal man.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
So who's Magda?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Magda, she's not in the first one.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
But who is she?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
I don't know.
I feel like they who are theyskirting around?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Because it's not like .
Aquaman isn't a thing.
She's not Little Mermaid, she'sdefinitely not Little.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Mermaid?
No Well, Little Mermaid's fromAtlantica, and now they're
talking about Atlantis, so I'mthinking just off the top of my
head here Little Mermaid.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
This is her evil cousin Ursula.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
No, that's like her Aunt no.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Wasn't that her aunt.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Oh, I don't know.
In Disney I'm going off myDisney knowledge.
I was going to say that'sactually King Triton's ex-lover,
but oh, that's what I'mthinking.
Because, she knew about theTriton, but I think this is
(09:59):
Ariel's cousin.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Because they're from Atlantis.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
But cousin, okay, and because they're from atlantis,
but look like she was fromatlanta because she had some
gills on her neck at times attimes.
Sometimes they would cover itup and, uh, her, her, she's got
some fish minions and you'd ever, you'd only ever see like six
(10:31):
at once tops yeah maybe five andwhen that, when they're walking
in, you do see like an army oflike 20, but it's like obviously
cg'd um well, man, the budgetfor this movie was ten dollars
it just looks like it.
It looks like it.
The it was a happy meal the armyis like no reflection in the
water.
They didn't even bother withthat.
(10:52):
Uh, they're all walking at thesame exact pace, their arms
swinging in motion together, andit just looks so unnatural and
not like intimidating.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
They paid good money for that, that army.
They paid a couple pennies pereach person.
I mean, they were reallystretching that $10.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Were they.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah, you had to.
They paid good money for that.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Which actor do you think got paid the most here?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
That's a good question, and you know what?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I have my answer locked you think it's aurora?
I think it's rompozilskinprobably the wannabe Joker.
Yeah, the wannabe Joker, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I could see that.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You could.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I could see that being the highest paid actor
here.
You know Magna wasn't.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
No, she wasn't surprisingly little.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I could see it being one of the top uh, lady
actresses in this yeah I couldsee it being little red riding
hood.
I could see it being alice.
I could see it being snow whiteaurora snow white got a stunt
double she did.
Maybe, maybe she is the highestpay because she got a stunt
(12:14):
double.
It was a horrible stunt.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
she is the highest paid because she got a stunt
double.
She got a stunt double.
It was a horrible stunt doubleyeah just diving on the ground.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I do that every day.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah, I'm like oh hey diving on the ground.
It's how I enter, it's how Icome through the doors.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Look out, there's a quarter Diving on the ground my
quarter now, yeah, I put on ablack wig and everything $20?
$20, yeah, I put on a black wigand dive for $20.
Easiest $20 I've ever made inmy life.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
I'm covering in scabs 90% of the time.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Because I just, I dive, I go for it.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Nah, I think that's the weakest thing in this.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Favorite scene Go Favorite scene.
You know what I think?
My favorite scene is theRumpelstiltskin, when he's kind
of inside, when he gets put in.
His strategy was to be putinside the jail with Prince
Charming.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
And that was just a terrible scene, but it was my
favorite because you could justsee all these things that could
happen and you can just tellthat these actors and actresses
were petty in this.
Oh yeah, that kind of showed itright there everyone was acting
like they were the maincharacter yep, oh wait, actually
I'm going to take back that.
(13:32):
That's not my favorite scene.
I'm going to take that back.
Favorite scene is a little redriding hood bust out some
pistols and grenades.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I I, I kind of hate you because you did pick my top
two really you did pick my toptwo that is my favorite.
When she busted out the pistols, I'm like I was I was kind of
hoping you were going to stickwith that, that rumple silkskin
in the interrog bit, but nope,you went right for the.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
The pistols.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You went right for the pist.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
The grenade, the grenade.
She busted off two grenades shehad two in her hands.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, that's probably the best scene, never to be
seen again.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
No, this is when cinema is at its pinnacle.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
And then she just got bogged down by dialogue.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah it's pinnacle and then just got bogged down by
a dialogue.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yeah, um, you did take my two favorite scenes, but
I am going to go with the.
I'm going to go with when theyfirst go into the future and
they see the older versions ofPrince Charming and Alice and
(14:42):
Rumpelstiltskin.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
They really don't look that old.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
They looked the same age but they put some fake
wrinkles on it.
But it doesn't look like agewrinkles.
I brought this up while we werewatching it.
But it looks like Attack of theClones, like the little
shapeshifter.
Oh oh, it's got like littlealien wrinkles.
It looks like that, like it'sjust like puffy eyelids they
look like they've been doingsome drugs.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Let's be honest, it's yeah, they look like they would
be prince charming tunes andbath salts they look like they
got some some old age from somedrug use.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yeah, it's not a good look.
They should have honestly justpowdered in some white powder
into people's hair and called ita day.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Even in that scene or when they went back and saw
Alice.
Alice was they tried to give alittle high five.
You know they gave a littlehigh fives to little movies here
and there.
So you have that one with alicewhen they go back, when they're
older and she's she's trying toact like johnny depp from
through the looking glass, Ibelieve, or what's that?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
the second one where he's like yeah, it's through the
looking glass.
Is that the second one?
Yeah, at least in the books.
I don't know the, I don't knowthe movies the movie, whatever
the second but it's alice inwonderland.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
And then the second book is through the looking
glass I think in that second one, the second movie, she's acting
like what johnny depp did inthere and then, um, actually,
when they introduced rumplestiltskin, he does a little a
little jester with his hand anda little rumple stiltskin.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
He does a little a little jester with his hand and
a little rumple stiltskin keptlike he was like talk like this,
and then he would like lookdown and like through his
eyebrows like this I think he istrying to mimic the once upon a
time rumple stiltskin.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Did he do that too?
He tried that.
Rumple stiltskin, though, ispretty.
That actor's good, he's gotrange.
He's a tough one to beat.
You don't think this one's gotrange.
He's got as range as a youtubeactor a high school youtube
actor trying to make it.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
That's about him I think you know I said um, I said
rumple still's probably the toppaid.
I'm going to take that back.
I think Alice is the top paid.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Okay, what's your thought behind that?
Why?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
She was kind of lead.
It was suggested she's in thefirst one.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
She's in the first one.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
So I'm assuming the actress is in the first one.
I'm assuming she got a prettygood paycheck.
She's in.
She's throughout the moviepretty consistently.
My thought was rumple stiltskinis because was he in the first
one?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
he the character?
Is he that?
One is not, so that's why theykept on saying the actor swapped
, the actor swapped, so theykept on saying that's a
different rumple stiltskin yeah,they kept on mentioning that or
alluding to that meaning.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
We swapped actors yeah, so you kept an actor,
which means you probably paidthem enough.
She was through the moviepretty consistently.
I'm now thinking rumplestiltzkin was probably chewing
up as much tenure as he was,because everyone's trying to be
the main character in here.
Um and acting like they werethe lead I, I think rumple still
(17:58):
skin was just doing that to thedegree acting like he was the
lead.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah, well, I think, when you have a rumpled still
skin and then, once upon a time,that kind of has made it its
its own role now, like it's kindof like taking the joker in
some ways, as we, as wementioned, but it's kind of like
taking that role or taking onthat that the ideal role.
And now you have this actorthat has done it so well and now
(18:25):
you're trying to match thatactor, and I think that's what
what's happening with rumpledsiltskin these days is that you
and now, granted, we haven'tseen a lot of rumple out there,
but you see, once upon a time,rumples and it and it's like
nobody else is going to matchthat.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Not this time.
I haven't seen it, so I can't.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
I mean not any low-grade actor, okay, I think.
I mean, obviously you havebigger actors that could do
their own thing and probablymake Rumpel into something else.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Wasn't there a Rumpelstiltskin movie that came
out recently with Peter Dinklage?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Not that I know of, but I mean that'd be a different
type of Rumpelstiltskin.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Yes, my bad.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yeah, that was not a Rumpelstiltskin movie, that's a
love story?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Is a Rumpelstiltskin a love story?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Not in the same way.
So I I just think thateverybody's going to be looking
at that, the once upon a timerumple now I guess I need to.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I guess I need to see that rump I think you do um um
what?
What fairy tale would you putinto this?
Like there's a lot of fairytales, A lot that we're missing
(19:43):
here.
Which fairy tale are youputting?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
in.
Are we going Brothers Grimmfairy tales or are we going like
actual folklore?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Any.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Can I go folklore?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
You can go folklore.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Okay, I want the El Chupacabra.
I want the Chupacabra.
Give me the Chupacabra.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
The demon dog.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Or La Rona.
It's a Hispanic ghost.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Give me.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I thought you were like the corona, or give me,
give me candy man, I give mecandy man.
Um what you got, you know, my,my first pick was going to be
beowulf I thought about that fora brief second.
I really did, because it wouldjust be so out of place.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yeah, imagine Paul Bunyan in this.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Man, paul Bunyan, paul Bunyan, those Bunyans,
that's what I thought about, butI'm now thinking like but I'm
now thinking like let's do someHercules Throw in some Greek
(21:04):
gods.
Throw in some Greek gods, let'sget some lightning, let's get
some Zeus.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Some Poseidon, some Poseidon they do mention the
underworld.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Where's Hades, where's?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Hades if we're talking about that.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
They mentioned the Queen of Hearts.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yeah, that runs it with Hades.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Or not.
Hades that runs it with Rumpel,Rumpel yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, weird pairing, was she in the first movie?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Maybe I need to go back and watch the first movie.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
in all honesty, it's been a while it's been future
episode nine years, nine yearssince I watched it.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
So it's one of those late night scrolls, I believe,
on netflix, and I was just likeI want to watch something that's
off the wall.
And that came up and I was like, huh, I want to give this a try
.
So I did mothman mothmanmothman, mothman.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Don't play by anybody's rules.
He ain't your daddy's batmanthe giant purple people eater
grimace ronald mcdonald.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
He's a folklore right .
He's american folklore right.
Let's put ron mcdonald on thisdude.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
I saw I I was scrolling through instagram, uh,
before we came in here and Isaw an ad of ronald talking
about some wall of cheese andgrimmis is in the back looking
like an absolute nightmare.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
He's just like jumping up and down and doing I
think that I saw any of themcdonald's characters I mean if
you come up to me with a walkingchicken nugget, I'm I'm punting
that also ronald mcdonald'spants like ended just short of
his knee ron mcdonald is thegreatest killer of all time oh,
(22:55):
what heart disease you tell mehe is the greatest killer of all
time it's really weird thatthey chose a clown as the mascot
.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I know they're trying to appeal to kids back in the
60s.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
The clown is kind of weird yeah, most kids are afraid
of clowns, and now you got itout there yeah, you've got.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
You got like you would think, once john wayne
gacy does his thing, you'd belike no more clowns yeah like
we're not.
We're pulling all clowns fromadvertising.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
The hamburglar is the guy yeah, I mean, you could
have made it like into a tricksthing, you know right the
hamburger what?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
or just make it grammis also yeah, let's just go
, grammis lean into grammis marymcnugget, mary mcnugget, oh
yeah that's right, let's leaninto him what was that bird?
Yeah there's a chick, she.
She had goggles or something.
Yeah, a jumper.
She's wearing the same outfitthat the World War II woman
(24:02):
suffered.
We can do it.
It's like poster had.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
She'd grown up in the 90s though.
Oh the moon man.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
We had.
What was the moon man?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yep, I remember there was a moon man.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
He played the piano.
What was the moon man?
Yep, I remember there was amoon man.
You like played piano.
I I I actually kind of lovedthat guy.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I loved that era now, do you remember burger king's
people though?
I remember the, the king therewas before the king, like when
you went to the burger kingthere was like kids.
I don't know exactly what theywere or anything like that.
I didn't know their names, butthere was like kids and they
almost looked like they wereknockoffs of somewhere between
(24:41):
magic school bus and yeah,planet or what's it, the mr
earth, planet earth, whatever oh, captain, planet captain planet
, the mixture between those twothat's a weird mix that's what
it looked like why would you dothat?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I don't know, burger king was on something just like
this movie this movie didanything it can to the movie's
like hey, we're gonna havecharacters make stupid decisions
to pad out the plot line andwe're gonna have a character say
go into the gate, but don't gointo the gate, but go into the
(25:18):
gate right, but if you're comingout, you need my permission,
but do not let anyone, includingyourselves, come out yeah, it's
just like what?
Speaker 2 (25:27):
what it threw me off it's stupid.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Also, I love that Magda who we were just talking
about making up these wild rules.
There are no rules.
She uses her little scepter tovaporize like what three or four
people throughout the movie.
She just like shoots some beamout and just like vaporizes them
(25:53):
.
She occasionally stabs into thefloor and like blasts stabbing
in this movie.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Do you really get stabbed in this movie?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
so no, no, she's like stabs in the floor and it
sounds like a shockwave.
She shoots people with thelaser, but then she shoots
everyone with a laser, but theone person she stabs is rumple,
still skin, who then comes backand well, I mean stabbing in
this movie doesn't seem to doanything no, it does.
There's no holes, there's noblood it doesn't do anything.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I could stab you and then be like it's like those
fake, but it's like why?
Speaker 1 (26:23):
why have a character who shoots everybody?
Besides rumple besides rumple,because it serves the plot.
Which I just answered my ownquestion, but that doesn't make
sense.
Character wise.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
I mean, this whole movie doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Let's be honest, I've seen student films with better
plots than this.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
And the quality of it .
Speaker 1 (26:46):
But one thing I will say we recently saw Pluto Nash
and now now we watch this.
If you're like, hey, what movie?
What movie do you want to sitdown and watch?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I might go this just for the entertainment value of
how terrible it is.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
It's kind of like yeah, like it's, it's not.
It's not like a landslidebetter or anything, but just
like stupid schlocky B-movieentertainment.
Like, yeah, I'm going to pickthis.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I think it's like on the same tier as Sharknado.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Like how bad it is.
It's kind of on the same tieras like a Sharknado idea.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yeah, we're getting like right into that.
It's so bad, it's good.
But they have a better actor itbleeds blood, the, but they
have a better actor the Housethat Bleeds Blood, the Room.
Annie Roger Corman Rest inPeace, Birdemic.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, this fits right in.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Right in with bad movies Joel.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Schumacher's Batman.
This is, though, I think it'sdone, better than movies that
are trying to be like scarymovie but not like the parody
movies.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah, the parody movies.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
This was better than the parody movies because it was
its own thing, it had its own.
It actually kind of ran off ofits own storyline and everything
compared to the parody movieswhere they tried to just Parody
movies get so caught up in justmaking like specific point by
point, like parodies of things.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
And references that it doesn't actually focus on,
like any coherent plots or likea build up to a joke, something
where you do the build-up earlyin the film and the punchline is
later.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
That kind of thing.
I like this more.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Than Scary Movie.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I like Scary Movie better.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Or sorry, was it Epic Movie and the Superhero Movie?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
I like those a little bit better.
I don't like there's one calledum avengers of justice or
something like that I have notseen that it is terrible.
I watched it the other day.
I was like this is awful youdidn't invite me this.
This was the better watch todayyou didn't invite me it was the
(29:09):
better watch.
I think I watched it before wemoved.
So what final thoughts?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
uh, yeah, I, I think.
I think really, in the end, anykid of any age would be okay
watching this, but I wouldprobably say like seven and up,
just because it's so wildlyincoherent that kids younger
(29:45):
than seven are going to havequestions that, like, you're not
going to have answers to,they're not going to understand
what's so entertaining about it.
I think that seven, eight,maybe nine, that kind of range
you're going to start tounderstand like this is so bad
it's good.
Um, I'm gonna stick with maybea six.
(30:17):
Um, it's a good.
Bad movie could be worse I amboth a worse in a good way and
worse in a bad way I think I'dprobably wait until the kids
older.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
To be honest with you , this is actually like a movie
that you'd scroll through likeComcast back in the day and see
as like a free movie kind ofthing.
I would just wait till they'reolder just because of I guess
they wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
They'd watch this and probably get bored there's not
a lot of of suggestive scenes oranything lewd like that.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
No, I mean, I guess the most lewdest thing is some
of the outfits, but I mean it'salmost equivalent to the ones
that you see in Descendants.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, it's pretty tame.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
So I would say, though, that I think Descendants
is easier to follow.
This is like a poor man'sdescendants to me almost.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Yeah, that's actually a good comparison.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah, like a walmart version of descendants, and for
that, though, I think I wouldrate this probably like a four.
There is some entertainment,there is some value.
I would, if somebody's likelet's watch this, I'd be like
fine, I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna like say no, I'veseen this movie before, but, um
, I'd give it a four.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
I do think it goes on a little too long it does they
could have cut it out 15, 20minutes it's still a good 15 20
minutes.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You probably could have made this an hour.
It was an hour 30, I believethis could have been an hour 30.
It was an hour 30, felt like anhour 45 then it felt like we
were sitting there for two hours.
No, it was.
It was an hour 30.
Um, I think it could have beenan hour.
You could have made this moviein an hour yeah, yeah you, they
should have they should havemade this actually like a short
(32:05):
tv series, like a, like a videogame, high school or the Guild
or something along those lines.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
They should have made it into that and I think it
probably would have been moresuccessful.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I think it would have been a lot.
I don't want to say better, butbetter.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yeah, anyways, if you like us or our podcast, you
found us.
You can find us on Instagram atthe Backseat Critics.
You can find us on YouTube atthe Backseat Critics, or you can
look us up anywhere else whereyou get your podcasts at the
Backseat Critics.
Or if you want to find similarpodcasts that we're lightly
(32:50):
involved in, you can look overat the Play no Games podcast.
We always recommend them.
We'll work on the back endthere, but sometimes we pipe in
and give our two cents onwhatever topics they're talking
about, and until then, we out.
today we're talking about avengers, grim time war
welcome back to the backseatcritics.
My name is r j hey guys, I'mandrew oh fantastic this podcast
where, uh, we generally talkabout movies that you should
(00:25):
steer clear of.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
But this movie you want to steer into.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You do Full Force.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Time Wars.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
You know I'm dropping it right now.
This is my final thoughts.
Everyone should watch this.
All kids should watch this.
Five out of five stars.
I see no flaws.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Five out of five.
No, not the ten out of ten.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Five out of five, ten out of five stars.
I see no flaws.
Five out of five, not a 10 outof 10.
Five out of five, 10 out of 10,however you want to dice it, oh
, okay, it's a perfect movie.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
It was cut the acting gold.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I mean Sleeping Beauty Woo.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
What did you think of Snow White, aurora Woo, little
Red Riding Hood?
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah, alice, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Alice.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Snow White Slim Beauty Woo.
Well, we got a one-minutesummary.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I believe I'm sorry, that was really rude of me.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
That was very rude of you, yeah no, I apologize, I'm
appalled you know, I me.
That was very rude of you.
Yeah, no, I apologize, I'mappalled.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
You know I made fun of someone there for a joke.
That's unnecessary.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
But we are here for the one-minute summary.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
We are, and you know what.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
It's your turn, I think.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
It is my turn.
I was going to be the big manand volunteer, but I think it's
your turn anyway.
So, with that being said, youknow I'm gonna volunteer for
this.
I'm taking one for the team.
Oh okay, so we start off.
(01:59):
Uh and uh, do pop soup.
Portal sees um not john voighton the beach combing through the
sand.
And Okay, cool, sorry, I wasjust checking the audio there.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Oh, let's see the timer.
I started a little late, butyou're at 48 seconds in.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah, no.
And then he's chased by GilLady and Gil Army and they chase
him and she's like I want thering and to marry you, but
mostly just ring because give mepowers over things.
And he's like, no, I'll neverdo that.
And then the, the avengers, whoare just, uh, snow white, red
(02:36):
riding hood, alice the madhatter, 20 seconds and uh,
aurora, and I think that's it,is that it, I think so.
There's like five of them 20seconds.
And Aurora, and I think that'sit.
Is that it, I think so.
There's like five of them 10seconds.
Anyways, they save it, theystop, snow White gets the ring,
(02:56):
they get married, live happilyever after, like, hey, we're
going to be through LookingGlass, avengers, you're done,
we're done.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I'm not sure if that's how the Sure you got
stuck on names there.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
What names?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Aurora.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Aurora, anyways.
So we're going to dive into anow kind of classic topic for us
.
We've got some A-grade actorshere.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Fantastic actors.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
But if you had to replace it with someone else in
the non-adult industry industry,who are you replacing them with
?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I am gonna go.
Kevin hart not too much kevinhart in the world these days.
I take that back.
I'm going to go.
Jack Black, give me Jack Black.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Jack Black is who.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Rumpelstiltskin.
Oh, jack Black isRumpelstiltskin, give me that.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Jack Black is Rumpelstiltskin.
Okay, that's what I'm feeling.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I'm feeling Rumpelstiltskin is probably the
easiest character to replace inthis movie to enhance the movie
and I feel like jack black is myguy, I feel like he'd deliver.
Give me some more humor behindwhat is a fit, more fan.
It gives it a little a littletouch about making it closer to
just being impeccable yeah whoyou at um.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Alright, hear me out fantastic right, so I'm I'm
going to go with man, I just hadit.
Uh, I'm gonna replace PrinceCharming with Will Ferrell.
Man, I just had it.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I'm going to replace Prince Charming with.
Will Ferrell who played Cyclops?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
in.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
X-Men.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I don't know.
Do you think he would play abetter Prince Charming?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
maybe Army Hammer, only if he's eating people.
Do you think he would play a?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
better Prince Charming, maybe Armie Hammer,
only if he's eating people.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Armie Hammer, though I think.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Russell Crowe.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Sure, paul Giamatti, you know, just throw that in
there for you, judi Dench, judiDench money you know, just throw
that in there for you, judydench judy dench who wouldn't,
who wouldn't go after princecharming if prince charming was
judy dench?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
um you know I think, rob, I think.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Rob.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Finish that thought.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Gilbert Okay Arenas.
He might not, he might not, hemight not?
Speaker 1 (06:17):
You think?
Our man, Cartier Bob, is notgoing for Dame Judi Dench?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
No, I think he's going for that person.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
What he's going for, judi Dench.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
No.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You think he's crushing on Judi Dench?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
No.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Oh, hey, hey hey.
New way to terrorize PlanoGames, Because we know they're
not going to listen to this part.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
No, they just skipped over it.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
We should find just some print off, some pictures of
Judi Dench, find somememorabilia about Judi Dench,
and just one piece at a time,Just slowly start bringing it
into the studio.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Judi.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Dench.
Judi Dench.
Give it two months play nogames podcast.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
it's gonna be all about dame judy dench so we
start on an island, not anisland, I guess an ocean.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
It's a beach, it's a beach it's a terrible beach
there it's like a tropical beach, but then their headquarters
are in la.
They're showing establishingshots from new york and then the
forest is.
I don't know.
It's northern california, is myassumption.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I just think it's funny that this old man is
sitting on the beach and thisgal appears and he's just like
whoa, she's beautiful wowie,wowie, wowie I'm sorry if
anybody appears just randomly,I'm gone just like out of a puff
of smoke.
I'm gone.
It was like a magical blue dustor electric thing sure, just
(08:04):
boof there's somebody same withthe prince charming, though
didn't he just magically appearas well?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
yeah, well, yeah, prince charming, like jumped out
through one yeah uh did,because you've you've seen the
first one.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
This is a second yeah , this is the second one does
the first one leave off in acliffhanger?
Not that I remember I believethey defeat that rumplestiltskin
.
Just kind of leave that there,okay, and you got mr lou frigno
in it lou frigno in the firstone.
Lou frigno plays in the firstone.
I I was kind of shocked.
I was like what is mr lou doinghere?
(08:37):
no kidding yeah, he's like ironjohn or something like that.
I think he's supposed to belike John Henry.
Okay, I think that because he'snot, obviously, he can't be
John Henry.
So I think they just made himIron John and made him like a
(08:58):
metal man.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
So who's Magda?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Magda, she's not in the first one.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
But who is she?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
I don't know.
I feel like they who are theyskirting around?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Because it's not like .
Aquaman isn't a thing.
She's not Little Mermaid, she'sdefinitely not Little.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Mermaid?
No Well, Little Mermaid's fromAtlantica, and now they're
talking about Atlantis, so I'mthinking just off the top of my
head here Little Mermaid.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
This is her evil cousin Ursula.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
No, that's like her Aunt no.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Wasn't that her aunt.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Oh, I don't know.
In Disney I'm going off myDisney knowledge.
I was going to say that'sactually King Triton's ex-lover,
but oh, that's what I'mthinking.
Because, she knew about theTriton, but I think this is
(09:59):
Ariel's cousin.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Because they're from Atlantis.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
But cousin, okay, and because they're from atlantis,
but look like she was fromatlanta because she had some
gills on her neck at times attimes.
Sometimes they would cover itup and, uh, her, her, she's got
some fish minions and you'd ever, you'd only ever see like six
(10:31):
at once tops yeah maybe five andwhen that, when they're walking
in, you do see like an army oflike 20, but it's like obviously
cg'd um well, man, the budgetfor this movie was ten dollars
it just looks like it.
It looks like it.
The it was a happy meal the armyis like no reflection in the
water.
They didn't even bother withthat.
(10:52):
Uh, they're all walking at thesame exact pace, their arms
swinging in motion together, andit just looks so unnatural and
not like intimidating.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
They paid good money for that, that army.
They paid a couple pennies pereach person.
I mean, they were reallystretching that $10.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Were they.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah, you had to.
They paid good money for that.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Which actor do you think got paid the most here?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
That's a good question, and you know what?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I have my answer locked you think it's aurora?
I think it's rompozilskinprobably the wannabe Joker.
Yeah, the wannabe Joker, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I could see that.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You could.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I could see that being the highest paid actor
here.
You know Magna wasn't.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
No, she wasn't surprisingly little.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I could see it being one of the top uh, lady
actresses in this yeah I couldsee it being little red riding
hood.
I could see it being alice.
I could see it being snow whiteaurora snow white got a stunt
double she did.
Maybe, maybe she is the highestpay because she got a stunt
(12:14):
double.
It was a horrible stunt.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
she is the highest paid because she got a stunt
double.
She got a stunt double.
It was a horrible stunt doubleyeah just diving on the ground.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I do that every day.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Yeah, I'm like oh hey diving on the ground.
It's how I enter, it's how Icome through the doors.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Look out, there's a quarter Diving on the ground my
quarter now, yeah, I put on ablack wig and everything $20?
$20, yeah, I put on a black wigand dive for $20.
Easiest $20 I've ever made inmy life.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
I'm covering in scabs 90% of the time.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Because I just, I dive, I go for it.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Nah, I think that's the weakest thing in this.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Favorite scene Go Favorite scene.
You know what I think?
My favorite scene is theRumpelstiltskin, when he's kind
of inside, when he gets put in.
His strategy was to be putinside the jail with Prince
Charming.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
And that was just a terrible scene, but it was my
favorite because you could justsee all these things that could
happen and you can just tellthat these actors and actresses
were petty in this.
Oh yeah, that kind of showed itright there everyone was acting
like they were the maincharacter yep, oh wait, actually
I'm going to take back that.
(13:32):
That's not my favorite scene.
I'm going to take that back.
Favorite scene is a little redriding hood bust out some
pistols and grenades.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I I, I kind of hate you because you did pick my top
two really you did pick my toptwo that is my favorite.
When she busted out the pistols, I'm like I was I was kind of
hoping you were going to stickwith that, that rumple silkskin
in the interrog bit, but nope,you went right for the.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
The pistols.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
You went right for the pist.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
The grenade, the grenade.
She busted off two grenades shehad two in her hands.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, that's probably the best scene, never to be
seen again.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
No, this is when cinema is at its pinnacle.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
And then she just got bogged down by dialogue.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah it's pinnacle and then just got bogged down by
a dialogue.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yeah, um, you did take my two favorite scenes, but
I am going to go with the.
I'm going to go with when theyfirst go into the future and
they see the older versions ofPrince Charming and Alice and
(14:42):
Rumpelstiltskin.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
They really don't look that old.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
They looked the same age but they put some fake
wrinkles on it.
But it doesn't look like agewrinkles.
I brought this up while we werewatching it.
But it looks like Attack of theClones, like the little
shapeshifter.
Oh oh, it's got like littlealien wrinkles.
It looks like that, like it'sjust like puffy eyelids they
look like they've been doingsome drugs.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Let's be honest, it's yeah, they look like they would
be prince charming tunes andbath salts they look like they
got some some old age from somedrug use.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yeah, it's not a good look.
They should have honestly justpowdered in some white powder
into people's hair and called ita day.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Even in that scene or when they went back and saw
Alice.
Alice was they tried to give alittle high five.
You know they gave a littlehigh fives to little movies here
and there.
So you have that one with alicewhen they go back, when they're
older and she's she's trying toact like johnny depp from
through the looking glass, Ibelieve, or what's that?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
the second one where he's like yeah, it's through the
looking glass.
Is that the second one?
Yeah, at least in the books.
I don't know the, I don't knowthe movies the movie, whatever
the second but it's alice inwonderland.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
And then the second book is through the looking
glass I think in that second one, the second movie, she's acting
like what johnny depp did inthere and then, um, actually,
when they introduced rumplestiltskin, he does a little a
little jester with his hand anda little rumple stiltskin.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
He does a little a little jester with his hand and
a little rumple stiltskin keptlike he was like talk like this,
and then he would like lookdown and like through his
eyebrows like this I think he istrying to mimic the once upon a
time rumple stiltskin.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Did he do that too?
He tried that.
Rumple stiltskin, though, ispretty.
That actor's good, he's gotrange.
He's a tough one to beat.
You don't think this one's gotrange.
He's got as range as a youtubeactor a high school youtube
actor trying to make it.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
That's about him I think you know I said um, I said
rumple still's probably the toppaid.
I'm going to take that back.
I think Alice is the top paid.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Okay, what's your thought behind that?
Why?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
She was kind of lead.
It was suggested she's in thefirst one.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
She's in the first one.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
So I'm assuming the actress is in the first one.
I'm assuming she got a prettygood paycheck.
She's in.
She's throughout the moviepretty consistently.
My thought was rumple stiltskinis because was he in the first
one?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
he the character?
Is he that?
One is not, so that's why theykept on saying the actor swapped
, the actor swapped, so theykept on saying that's a
different rumple stiltskin yeah,they kept on mentioning that or
alluding to that meaning.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
We swapped actors yeah, so you kept an actor,
which means you probably paidthem enough.
She was through the moviepretty consistently.
I'm now thinking rumplestiltzkin was probably chewing
up as much tenure as he was,because everyone's trying to be
the main character in here.
Um and acting like they werethe lead I, I think rumple still
(17:58):
skin was just doing that to thedegree acting like he was the
lead.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
Yeah, well, I think, when you have a rumpled still
skin and then, once upon a time,that kind of has made it its
its own role now, like it's kindof like taking the joker in
some ways, as we, as wementioned, but it's kind of like
taking that role or taking onthat that the ideal role.
And now you have this actorthat has done it so well and now
(18:25):
you're trying to match thatactor, and I think that's what
what's happening with rumpledsiltskin these days is that you
and now, granted, we haven'tseen a lot of rumple out there,
but you see, once upon a time,rumples and it and it's like
nobody else is going to matchthat.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Not this time.
I haven't seen it, so I can't.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
I mean not any low-grade actor, okay, I think.
I mean, obviously you havebigger actors that could do
their own thing and probablymake Rumpel into something else.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Wasn't there a Rumpelstiltskin movie that came
out recently with Peter Dinklage?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Not that I know of, but I mean that'd be a different
type of Rumpelstiltskin.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Yes, my bad.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yeah, that was not a Rumpelstiltskin movie, that's a
love story?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Is a Rumpelstiltskin a love story?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Not in the same way.
So I I just think thateverybody's going to be looking
at that, the once upon a timerumple now I guess I need to.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I guess I need to see that rump I think you do um um
what?
What fairy tale would you putinto this?
Like there's a lot of fairytales, A lot that we're missing
(19:43):
here.
Which fairy tale are youputting?
Speaker 2 (19:46):
in.
Are we going Brothers Grimmfairy tales or are we going like
actual folklore?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Any.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Can I go folklore?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
You can go folklore.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Okay, I want the El Chupacabra.
I want the Chupacabra.
Give me the Chupacabra.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
The demon dog.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Or La Rona.
It's a Hispanic ghost.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Give me.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I thought you were like the corona, or give me,
give me candy man, I give mecandy man.
Um what you got, you know, my,my first pick was going to be
beowulf I thought about that fora brief second.
I really did, because it wouldjust be so out of place.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yeah, imagine Paul Bunyan in this.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Man, paul Bunyan, paul Bunyan, those Bunyans,
that's what I thought about, butI'm now thinking like but I'm
now thinking like let's do someHercules Throw in some Greek
(21:04):
gods.
Throw in some Greek gods, let'sget some lightning, let's get
some Zeus.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Some Poseidon, some Poseidon they do mention the
underworld.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Where's Hades, where's?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Hades if we're talking about that.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
They mentioned the Queen of Hearts.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yeah, that runs it with Hades.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Or not.
Hades that runs it with Rumpel,Rumpel yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, weird pairing, was she in the first movie?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Maybe I need to go back and watch the first movie.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
in all honesty, it's been a while it's been future
episode nine years, nine yearssince I watched it.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
So it's one of those late night scrolls, I believe,
on netflix, and I was just likeI want to watch something that's
off the wall.
And that came up and I was like, huh, I want to give this a try
.
So I did mothman mothmanmothman, mothman.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Don't play by anybody's rules.
He ain't your daddy's batmanthe giant purple people eater
grimace ronald mcdonald.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
He's a folklore right .
He's american folklore right.
Let's put ron mcdonald on thisdude.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
I saw I I was scrolling through instagram, uh,
before we came in here and Isaw an ad of ronald talking
about some wall of cheese andgrimmis is in the back looking
like an absolute nightmare.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
He's just like jumping up and down and doing I
think that I saw any of themcdonald's characters I mean if
you come up to me with a walkingchicken nugget, I'm I'm punting
that also ronald mcdonald'spants like ended just short of
his knee ron mcdonald is thegreatest killer of all time oh,
(22:55):
what heart disease you tell mehe is the greatest killer of all
time it's really weird thatthey chose a clown as the mascot
.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I know they're trying to appeal to kids back in the
60s.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
The clown is kind of weird yeah, most kids are afraid
of clowns, and now you got itout there yeah, you've got.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
You got like you would think, once john wayne
gacy does his thing, you'd belike no more clowns yeah like
we're not.
We're pulling all clowns fromadvertising.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
The hamburglar is the guy yeah, I mean, you could
have made it like into a tricksthing, you know right the
hamburger what?
Speaker 1 (23:39):
or just make it grammis also yeah, let's just go
, grammis lean into grammis marymcnugget, mary mcnugget, oh
yeah that's right, let's leaninto him what was that bird?
Yeah there's a chick, she.
She had goggles or something.
Yeah, a jumper.
She's wearing the same outfitthat the World War II woman
(24:02):
suffered.
We can do it.
It's like poster had.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
She'd grown up in the 90s though.
Oh the moon man.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
We had.
What was the moon man?
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yep, I remember there was a moon man.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
He played the piano.
What was the moon man?
Yep, I remember there was amoon man.
You like played piano.
I I I actually kind of lovedthat guy.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I loved that era now, do you remember burger king's
people though?
I remember the, the king therewas before the king, like when
you went to the burger kingthere was like kids.
I don't know exactly what theywere or anything like that.
I didn't know their names, butthere was like kids and they
almost looked like they wereknockoffs of somewhere between
(24:41):
magic school bus and yeah,planet or what's it, the mr
earth, planet earth, whatever oh, captain, planet captain planet
, the mixture between those twothat's a weird mix that's what
it looked like why would you dothat?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I don't know, burger king was on something just like
this movie this movie didanything it can to the movie's
like hey, we're gonna havecharacters make stupid decisions
to pad out the plot line andwe're gonna have a character say
go into the gate, but don't gointo the gate, but go into the
(25:18):
gate right, but if you're comingout, you need my permission,
but do not let anyone, includingyourselves, come out yeah, it's
just like what?
Speaker 2 (25:27):
what it threw me off it's stupid.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Also, I love that Magda who we were just talking
about making up these wild rules.
There are no rules.
She uses her little scepter tovaporize like what three or four
people throughout the movie.
She just like shoots some beamout and just like vaporizes them
(25:53):
.
She occasionally stabs into thefloor and like blasts stabbing
in this movie.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Do you really get stabbed in this movie?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
so no, no, she's like stabs in the floor and it
sounds like a shockwave.
She shoots people with thelaser, but then she shoots
everyone with a laser, but theone person she stabs is rumple,
still skin, who then comes backand well, I mean stabbing in
this movie doesn't seem to doanything no, it does.
There's no holes, there's noblood it doesn't do anything.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I could stab you and then be like it's like those
fake, but it's like why?
Speaker 1 (26:23):
why have a character who shoots everybody?
Besides rumple besides rumple,because it serves the plot.
Which I just answered my ownquestion, but that doesn't make
sense.
Character wise.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
I mean, this whole movie doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Let's be honest, I've seen student films with better
plots than this.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
And the quality of it .
Speaker 1 (26:46):
But one thing I will say we recently saw Pluto Nash
and now now we watch this.
If you're like, hey, what movie?
What movie do you want to sitdown and watch?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I might go this just for the entertainment value of
how terrible it is.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
It's kind of like yeah, like it's, it's not.
It's not like a landslidebetter or anything, but just
like stupid schlocky B-movieentertainment.
Like, yeah, I'm going to pickthis.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
I think it's like on the same tier as Sharknado.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Like how bad it is.
It's kind of on the same tieras like a Sharknado idea.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yeah, we're getting like right into that.
It's so bad, it's good.
But they have a better actor itbleeds blood, the, but they
have a better actor the Housethat Bleeds Blood, the Room.
Annie Roger Corman Rest inPeace, Birdemic.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, this fits right in.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Right in with bad movies Joel.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
Schumacher's Batman.
This is, though, I think it'sdone, better than movies that
are trying to be like scarymovie but not like the parody
movies.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah, the parody movies.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
This was better than the parody movies because it was
its own thing, it had its own.
It actually kind of ran off ofits own storyline and everything
compared to the parody movieswhere they tried to just Parody
movies get so caught up in justmaking like specific point by
point, like parodies of things.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
And references that it doesn't actually focus on,
like any coherent plots or likea build up to a joke, something
where you do the build-up earlyin the film and the punchline is
later.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
That kind of thing.
I like this more.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Than Scary Movie.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I like Scary Movie better.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Or sorry, was it Epic Movie and the Superhero Movie?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
I like those a little bit better.
I don't like there's one calledum avengers of justice or
something like that I have notseen that it is terrible.
I watched it the other day.
I was like this is awful youdidn't invite me this.
This was the better watch todayyou didn't invite me it was the
(29:09):
better watch.
I think I watched it before wemoved.
So what final thoughts?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
uh, yeah, I, I think.
I think really, in the end, anykid of any age would be okay
watching this, but I wouldprobably say like seven and up,
just because it's so wildlyincoherent that kids younger
(29:45):
than seven are going to havequestions that, like, you're not
going to have answers to,they're not going to understand
what's so entertaining about it.
I think that seven, eight,maybe nine, that kind of range
you're going to start tounderstand like this is so bad
it's good.
Um, I'm gonna stick with maybea six.
(30:17):
Um, it's a good.
Bad movie could be worse I amboth a worse in a good way and
worse in a bad way I think I'dprobably wait until the kids
older.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
To be honest with you , this is actually like a movie
that you'd scroll through likeComcast back in the day and see
as like a free movie kind ofthing.
I would just wait till they'reolder just because of I guess
they wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
They'd watch this and probably get bored there's not
a lot of of suggestive scenes oranything lewd like that.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
No, I mean, I guess the most lewdest thing is some
of the outfits, but I mean it'salmost equivalent to the ones
that you see in Descendants.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Yeah, it's pretty tame.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
So I would say, though, that I think Descendants
is easier to follow.
This is like a poor man'sdescendants to me almost.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Yeah, that's actually a good comparison.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah, like a walmart version of descendants, and for
that, though, I think I wouldrate this probably like a four.
There is some entertainment,there is some value.
I would, if somebody's likelet's watch this, I'd be like
fine, I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna like say no, I'veseen this movie before, but, um
, I'd give it a four.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
I do think it goes on a little too long it does they
could have cut it out 15, 20minutes it's still a good 15 20
minutes.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You probably could have made this an hour.
It was an hour 30, I believethis could have been an hour 30.
It was an hour 30, felt like anhour 45 then it felt like we
were sitting there for two hours.
No, it was.
It was an hour 30.
Um, I think it could have beenan hour.
You could have made this moviein an hour yeah, yeah you, they
should have they should havemade this actually like a short
(32:05):
tv series, like a, like a videogame, high school or the Guild
or something along those lines.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
They should have made it into that and I think it
probably would have been moresuccessful.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I think it would have been a lot.
I don't want to say better, butbetter.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Yeah, anyways, if you like us or our podcast, you
found us.
You can find us on Instagram atthe Backseat Critics.
You can find us on YouTube atthe Backseat Critics, or you can
look us up anywhere else whereyou get your podcasts at the
Backseat Critics.
Or if you want to find similarpodcasts that we're lightly
(32:50):
involved in, you can look overat the Play no Games podcast.
We always recommend them.
We'll work on the back endthere, but sometimes we pipe in
and give our two cents onwhatever topics they're talking
about, and until then, we out.
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