May 25, 2024 • 47 mins
Buckle up for a monster-sized episode of Backseat Critics, where Andrew and I, RJ, dive headfirst into the chaos of "Rampage." Without missing a beat, we debate the heavy-hitting presence of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and whether adding Charlize Theron to the mix could've turned up the heat. We can't help but crack up over George's sign language antics and even slip in an oddball tribute to David Prowse, the man behind Darth Vader's mask, and his bittersweet "Return of the Jedi" outcome.
As we navigate the treacherous waters of "Rampage," we stumble upon the hilarity of oversized animals and take it up a notch with our own outlandish pitches for giant animal movies. From rampaging elephants to city-crushing koalas, no creature is too wild for our imaginations. But it's not all creature chaos; we also tip our hats to the unsung comedic genius of Jim Varney and the heroic flexibility of Brendan Fraser. Sprinkle in a dash of Sam Rockwell and Gary Oldman, and you've got a recipe for casting what-ifs that will keep you guessing.
To cap off this whirlwind episode, we tussle with the age-old question of what makes a movie just right for family night. Is it a light saber-wielding adventure, or perhaps a nostalgic trip down Mario lane? We lay down our ratings with a wink and even dare to compare video game adaptations, all while keeping the laughs coming. Remember, the next time you're torn between a pixelated plumber and some good old-fashioned city destruction, the Backseat Critics have got your back. Tune in, follow us, and join the cinematic rampage—we promise we've fixed the mic stand for good!
Hosted by Andrew and RJ, this Portland-based movie review podcast blends sharp takes, nostalgic dives, and unfiltered banter. Whether you're a cinephile or just here for the chaos, we've got movies covered — one awkward laugh at a time. Follow and subscribe for weekly episodes on cult classics, overlooked gems, and everything in between.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know what we're going to talk about today.
(00:01):
We're going to talk aboutRampage and with that being said
, welcome back to the BackseatCritics.
My name's.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
RJ.
My name's Andrew.
And this is a podcast where wetalk about movies that you
should probably Wow.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, Wait, let's start
that over.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Why?
Just because Do you see howmuch we were peaking.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Okay, start that over .
Why?
Just because?
Do you see how much we werepeaking?
Okay, so we're gonna talk aboutrampage and welcome back to the
backseat critics.
My name is andrew and this isthe podcast where we review
movies that you should see clearof.
Are you mocking me?
What do you mean?
I'm mocking you, I'm mockingcrap.
(00:45):
What's the monkey's name inthis movie?
I don't remember the monkey'sname Jumanji.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
No, we're talking about Mighty Joe Young.
Was it Mighty Joe Young?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Probably no.
No Might as well be Same movie.
I feel like just one has moresteroids and stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Okay question Would you rather this movie have
Charlize Theron in it?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yes, I absolutely agree.
Why is that a question?
Why are we questioning that?
Would you rather have thismovie?
No, that's an automatic yes.
Talking to the mic dude?
That's an automatic yes.
Why would you question?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
that Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I'm going to, would you?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
question that.
Okay, guess what?
Okay, I'm going to give you alittle question here.
Okay, questionnaire, bring iton Boom.
What year did this movie comeout?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
2019.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Close 2018.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Okay, that's close.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Okay, name three actors in this movie.
Oh snap, three actors jeffreydean, morgan dwayne rock.
Johnson jack quaid name fourwhoa, just because I got three.
You didn't think I knew theseactors.
Come at me.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You think you can catch me Name four there's no
other good actor.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Name four there's no other good actor in this movie,
exactly George who's.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
George the monkey.
Are you the monkey?
No, George is the monkey.
Did she call you babe?
No, she called me monkey.
Did she call you babe?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
No, she called me Abe .
Oh, abe, abraham Lincoln.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Oh, did you know that Abe Lincoln had a surprisingly
high-pitched voice?
So anytime he talked it tookpeople several minutes to get
used to his voice.
So every time I think of AbeLincoln talking in my head I'm
picturing the and so we go towar guy from pirate street.
That's what I picture lincolnsounds like now he who walks
(02:53):
with bare feet.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I got you off guard there.
You did not expect me to hityou with that.
Oh, what should we look up here?
Google search and Google fiend.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Gettysburg Address.
Four score and seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
So you've seen you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
obviously Our fathers brought forth upon this
continent a new nation.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Hold on, hold on, hold on Hold on Hold, on Hold,
on Hold on Kermit.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Conceived in liberty and dedicated to a proposition
that all men must must, maybe ordo whatever they want.
Must, must, maybe, do whateverthey want.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I realize I shouldn't probably not be blowing like
that, because it sounds like ahookah.
It's just really a water bottle.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Can you pass me my water bottle?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
It sounds like I'm blowing like a hookah.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I'm so thirsty.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
That sounds like a hookah, doesn't it?
I?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
don't know, let me try Like a pipe.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, that sounds like a hookah, doesn't it?
I don't know, let me try Like apipe.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, that sounds like we're.
Oh jeez, I got some splash back.
You got it sprayed.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Anyways, you've seen the top five movie of all time
Master Disguise.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh, top five.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
That's a top five movie.
For me, it's a guilty pleasure.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
It's a guilty pleasure.
I've seen it, I've.
For me, that's, that's apleasure, it's a guilty pleasure
.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Um, that's just I've seen it, I've seen a few times.
You've seen that abrahamlincoln switch scene.
Do you remember?
I don't remember.
Oh my gosh, I don't they.
They go, they call back thehistory of the master disguise
and at one point they do thiswhole.
Abraham lincoln comes out I'llbe honest, he's a boring speaker
and they swapped out foranother guy that disguises
abraham l Fantastic scene.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I'll be honest, I totally want a drunk history of
Abraham Lincoln, but with ahigh-pitched voice.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Blake, okay, no, no, no, I'll throw you one better.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I got a quick fact check here.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Oh, I'm going to throw you one, though I can't
throw you something real quick.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It's an ape, not a monkey.
Thank you, Jackal.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I'm going to throw you something real quick.
It's an ape, not a monkey.
Thank you, jackal, I'm gonnathrow you something ready.
What if it was the guy who wasoriginally supposed to play
darth vader?
His voice during the drunkhistory james earl jones no, the
guy who actually played darthdavid proulis yeah, I guess he
had a high pitch voice, didn'the like?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
That was like a nativity, it was higher-pitched.
I wouldn't say it washigh-pitched.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Now you've ruined my whole thing.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
You know he got paid apparently nothing for Return of
the Jedi.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
If he was smart he would have said okay, I'll take
nothing, but you give me like 2%of all Star Wars.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
So the thing is he agreed to a percentage of I
figured it was box officerevenue or home sales for Star
Wars and that percentage cameout to be 0% due to some shady
(06:09):
accounting.
So to this day, david Puce hasnot been paid for Return of the
Jedi.
What?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
actor.
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Which sucks Like pay the dude.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Which actor do you think has the best deal ever in
movie?
What's the smartest deal evernegotiated in movies?
I'll tell you who I think it isafter you tell you, tell me
yours, tell me yours uh, comeback to me on that.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You go first jack nicholson for joker in batman.
What was his deal?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
he got a percentage of the, the toys and merchandise
sold for batman, but joker didhe play?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
what joker did?
He play jack nicholson yeah, oh, jack nicholson, okay, okay, my
brain went to jack black and Iwas so confused jack nicholson.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
He got a percentage of the joker like of the merch
yeah, which is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Merch yeah, which is fantastic.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
You know that movie's going to sell, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Boom.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Cut me in.
That's probably one of the bestdeals negotiated.
I think he negotiated abovewhat he would have made as the
Joker actually.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I don't know, I don't know of any major deals like
that, so I can't speak to that.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
But would you agree that Jack Nicholson smart?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
No, he made a smart decision.
I would say for worst.
It's not even her fault.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah, bill Murray as Garfield.
No, no, no, no, her fault, herfault, yeah, bill.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Murray as Garfield.
No, no, no, no.
Her fault, her fault.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
The worst deal ever made was Shelley Duvall in the
Shining yeah, Mental andemotional abuse not cool.
That's not a cool trade-off.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
No, all right, but we're going to talk about
Rampage here, one of the worstmovies.
No, I'm joking, I don't knowthis movie.
I'll give my final thoughts.
Later I have my final thoughtsactually located in my brain,
ready to go.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
That's where my final thoughts are what I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
No, that's fantastic.
Maybe we can discover them anddeep dive into it as we talk
about this movie.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Yeah, do you want to do like a?
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
One minute summary.
Okay, I can do it in 30 seconds.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah, go for it All right.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Monkey meets Dwayne Lark Johnson.
Dwayne Lark Johnson helpsMonkey 10 seconds left.
Oh my gosh, that's not 30seconds, 10 seconds left.
Animals take super serum.
Dwayne Lark-Johnson, dwayne.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Lark-Johnson Monkey takes him down.
Two, no, you've got 45.
You've got 40 seconds.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
All right, a whole bunch of animals.
Take the super serum divide.
They're made up by this evilcompany and as this evil company
, they were like oh, we need totrack this down so we can create
super monsters.
But it got to dwayne the rock,johnson, secret monkey and doing
their rock, johnson and albinomonkey decide to fight these
evil monsters, take them downand save the world you've got.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
You've got 15 seconds left.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
That's the movie, though you said 15 seconds, okay
, so great scene in this moviewhere dwayne eric johnson is
signing with the monkey and heteaches him how to flip him off.
That's probably the best scenein this movie.
It happens pretty quickly tooin the movie too really yeah,
that's pretty quickly oh, yeah,yeah, right at the beginning,
(09:47):
yeah, yeah um, we're signingwith it the the whole
interaction between george anddwayne there.
Dwayne the rock johnson alsowoman in summer oh yeah, I know
we're over, I'm just, I'm justdiving you did a good job.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
You did a good job.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I'm just, I mean, basically that's what it is.
Am I wrong?
It's, you're not wrong.
It's one of those monstersdestroy city and monster save
city yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's very black and white.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
There's not too much to this and there's a good
monster and there's a badmonster and there's somehow the
government gets tied into it,which is normal in these types
of situations I guess, I guessI'll get to it in like final
thoughts, so I'll hold on tothat.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
But uh, crocodile grows into gin, ginormous
monster.
Yeah, wolf grows to be prettybig, basically same size as ape,
which are both about the samesize.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Now you never, you never play these games, though,
no, no, no, no no, no, but thisis kind of my problem.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
And I know that there's different kind of serums
, but that crocs amped thatcrocs two to three times the
size of both the ape and thewolf.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
The wolf is massive.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
But the same size as the ape, but the ape is larger
than the wolf.
Starting off, yeah like day one.
The apes two to three times thesize of the wolf, but they end
up they end up being about thesame size but then the croc's
bigger the croc being about.
Like I know, crocs get to beabout like 15, 20 feet when
they're really, really big sothat's from like tail, but if
(11:23):
you think about they, like thetail like size wise, like like
height wise and stuff like thatgot a fat tail, but height wise,
no, this croc began and itlooks like a 10 footer, like it
doesn't look.
It looks large, but it doesn'tlook like super large when no
when it first eats up that serum, but but at the end of the
(11:43):
movie it's three times the sizeof the other two.
What did that guy get?
Why is it so big?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I'll tell you what he got.
Why does?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
the wolf and the alligator.
Get these spiny quills all overthem and then ape just looks
like an ape.
But bigger.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I'll tell you what he got.
I'll tell you what thecrocodile got he got the Lucky
Charms.
Oxycontin.
Oh, oh, I was going to sayLucky Charms, marshmallows.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Oh, those things will amp you up.
That will make you larger.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
That will jack you up .
I'll give you that.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
If your diet was just Well.
Okay, that just happened.
I just snapped off part of themic stand, that's fine, we're
going to roll with it.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
We're going to roll with it.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Forget that piece.
You know, if I forgot where Iwas going with this, you're
going to say that.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Lucky Charms marshmallows give you diabetes.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
If your diet consists 100% of Lucky Charms
marshmallows, you will actuallyget skinnier.
There's zero calories, zero fatand 100% sugar in those.
You'll have diabetes, butyou'll be thin.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Do you think that if you had a lucky charms
marshmallow right that you are?
I don't know if you're diet Iguess if you eat it you're
guaranteed to get cancer.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Probably that's all you eat oh, I thought you were
saying like in general, like no,do you think that like like?
Okay, actually no, I should saythis if you eat lucky charms in
general, yeah, you're gonna, no, you're gonna get cancer.
If your diet was straightstraight those marshmallows.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
You're gonna get cancer, just dehydrated
marshmallows.
I feel like it.
I don't think so.
I think you're gonna getdiabetes I don't know, dude,
that's a tough call I heard Isaw something the other day that
since they're dehydrated, thatyou put them like in the
microwave or something in waterand they blow up, right?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
yeah, yeah, actually, most marshmallows do blow up
when you put them in themicrowave.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yeah, actually do you have marshmallows here, I have
the lucky charms ones like theysell them in, just the bags rj,
rj straight idea what let's getsome.
Put it in a bowl and test thisout so you can see how these
monsters blow up in this movie.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah, we'll get a video of this.
It looks like a-.
All right, let's time out here,let's go.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
What are we doing?
We're putting yeah, all right,I don't remember what we were
talking about?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Oh, you're talking about marshmallows blowing up
inside the microwave.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Specifically, I almost said explicitly so if you
watched our reel on Instagram,you'll realize that it didn't
really work out for us.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
They blew up quite a bit Decent size.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
They blew up, but they didn't like blow up.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
No, I think it's probably.
I needed to probably cook themlonger.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, sweet snow we're burning.
We cooked them for like what?
A minute and a half total.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, a minute and a half total.
Yeah, minute 15, I thinkactually they um minute 15.
I think actually they got kindof puffy, but that was about it.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yeah, being on no sugar diet, I really wanted to
dive in on it, but I I lost outon that I didn't dive in on it
you should have I should have umtold the people what it tasted
like but what I did do was Iwatched this movie you did, and
I got a question for you yesother than which actor would you
replace us with?
Blah blah, like the typicalstuff.
(15:22):
We'll circle back to that.
We'll circle back to that.
What we're going to do is whatanimals would you use instead of
an ape, a wolf and a crocodile?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I think in one part in the video games they actually
do a turtle like a snappingturtle.
If I remember right, so there'sa snapping turtle in the video
games, so my go-to would be asnapping turtle.
But I'm going to take that backand I'm going to flip it.
I'm going to say ant An ant Anant.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Okay, I think there's a movie in the 70s about this,
like Attack of the Ants orsomething like that there is
Future episode there is.
I've seen two or three of them.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
I've seen it Two, I don't know.
It was on before Big Ben backin the day.
My friend, who I spent thenight at, really wanted to watch
Big Ben, but we had to watchthis.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Ant movie oh, the Attack of the Ants Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
You watch Big Ben?
I do not.
You know what that's about.
I don't About a bear.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Grizzly bear.
Oh, you know what I think, I do.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Grizzly bear.
Grizzly bears overrated.
It was over.
It was actually a terrible bookand it was a terrible movie but
so you're doing a snappingturtle no, I'm doing an ant,
you're doing.
Oh sorry, I can't do a turtle,because the video games already
did a turtle, so I can'tnecessarily do a turtle okay, um
, okay, what.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
What other animals you got?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
two others I got two others.
Okay, I'm going to say, youknow, I'd say like a monkey, but
a monkey's already technicallytaken by the ape because of
George.
No, not really because themonkeys have the tail.
They're more kind of athleticrather than like King Kong-y, no
(17:13):
, no no, even though we've heardthat that's a slang term, I
can't go into it.
Wait, we saw a plane of theapes and you call them a monkey.
It goes off their rocker.
Okay, I think I would choose anelephant.
Okay, I think it would beinteresting to see an elephant
grow and a penguin A penguinwould be fun.
(17:37):
A penguin Would be sliding allover the city with their porky
pigs.
I think it'd be fun to see a biggiant penguin, that's I said
porky pigs.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I meant, like their quills, their quills.
I don't know why I said porkypigs.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I would want to see a penguin destroy a city.
That's kind of fun.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
That would be kind of fun.
I'll admit that.
Yeah, Number one, I'm going tokoala bear, koala bear.
Koala bears are incrediblyvicious.
I've seen that they'reincredibly vicious.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I saw them attack a kid in one of the videos.
A real on Instagram.
Yeah, on Insta.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
They're known as tree drop bears, I think, because
they drop out of trees andattack you.
I know that's a joke, but it'sprobably true.
But let's be real here.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
All right, what else you got?
A koala, a platypus.
You would choose something likethat a platypus.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
They got the poisonous fur.
They're laying eggs.
They're monstrosities as it is.
I love them.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
They're monstrosities though I'm surprised you don't
have a pet platypus yet.
Actually I'm not gonna lie, Icould see you having a plat pat
I seem like a platypus type ofguy you seem like you'd have a
pet like not not a peri theplatypus, like I feel like you
just have a platypus.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
So I go straight up.
Platypus how would I pet it?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Huh, how would I pet it?
You tell me You're the platypuswhisperer over here.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Anyways, I want a large platypus, the platypus-er,
yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, anyways, Anyways, anyways.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I don't know how else to say that.
How else would you say that?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
The Pied Piper.
I guess Platypus-er, that's theonly way to say it.
You tell me that Platypus-er,that's the only way to say it.
You tell me that, platypus.
That's all you could say.
I don't know what else youcould say.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
After the us.
What else are you going to say?
All you can do is er Us-er.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
It's us-uh, platypus-uh, platypus-er All
right, it's Usa.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Podpuss, podpusser, alright.
Third monstrosity when are yougoing with Chihuahua?
Get out of here, I'm done.
It's like the wolf, but justStrap Inside the house.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
The chihuahua was.
What was a joke?
It was guys.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Okay, what did you?
What did you actually mean?
What was the smoke screen for Aparrot?
Get out of here.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No, hear me out.
I hate birds, I know, but agiant bird is basically a
dinosaur, and this dinosaur cantalk.
He's like Pauly want a cracker,and then he destroys Chicago.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Oh him, I just, I just.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
He's like.
He's like.
Paulie won a whiskey.
There goes Cleveland Ohio.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
You know, I might, I might, chicago might get
replaced one day here, poorfella.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Oh, I was talking about the city of Chicago.
Oh, I was talking about the cat.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Iago, oh, I was talking about the cat.
I thought you mean he was gonnaattack the cat oh no.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
but yes, yes, chicago will get messed up.
But talking about messed upthat 2002 game, six western
conference finals coming soon.
That is coming soon, butill-timed, because that is no
longer the worst called game inNBA history Hot take.
(21:22):
We recorded that episode beforethis one Spoiler, I guess.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Can I rewind back to the bird comment?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
The parrots.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Go for it.
I don't trust birds, that'sokay.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I don't care if you don't trust birds, that's okay.
I don't care if you don't trustbirds.
No, wait, hold up.
Wait, are you one of those guys?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Are you one of those guys that are like, hey, birds
are by the cameras, by thegovernment.
No no, no, okay, so you're not.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
No, no, no, I'm off my rocker if it's indoors.
If you have an indoor bird, Idon't trust it why, outdoors
that's where it's supposed to be.
You're married to one they'resupposed to.
They're supposed to be outdoors.
I'm sorry, jackal, that wasincredibly rude of me when
they're indoors, though, theyhave those beady eyes and they
(22:11):
will poop on you.
Oh, get out cut it out, let'sgo.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
You're married to one .
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Back to Rampage.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
So okay, you got elephant, you got penguin, you
got ant, I got platypus, koalaand parrot.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
You might win just because of platypus, just a
giant Agent P.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Do you think it's growing quills at that point,
like the fur's, alreadypoisonous?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I just Can you imagine it like growing big and
stuff and all of a sudden itdoes the or whatever.
Agent P makes the sound, youknow.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Could you imagine laying an egg?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
No, you know what I'm talking about with the&p stuff,
right?
No, finnish and ferb, oh, Ihave.
I have, yeah, the agent.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
He makes the sound that oh yeah, the teeth clatter
kind of, yeah, what?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
if.
What if he makes that afterafterwards, like when he grows
that big and he's like, and hemakes that sound, or whatever,
whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah, I'm not into that.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
That'd be funny.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I doubt it what would be funny is if he grows large.
But the eggs that the platypuslays, normal sized, Just
thousands.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
No, wait, wait, wait, thousands Cadbury egg sized.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
So it's just like a little bit larger.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Cadbury.
No, those are those littlechocolate eggs that you see on
Easter.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yeah, yeah, they're a little bit larger than normal
eggs.
No.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
No, they're definitely smaller.
They are teeny tiny.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
They are bite-sized.
I have not had a Cadbury egg in20 years.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Have you had a bite-sized Snickers?
Sorry, what A bite-sizedSnickers, snickers.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah, the mini, sorry , what A bite-sized.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Snickers, snickers, the mini Snickers, not in a
while.
Okay, so it is smaller thanthat.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
So it's like Me, me, me, me.
He's so For the folks who can'tsee.
He's holding his fingers aboutan inch apart and going, and
that's so For the folks whocan't see.
He's holding his fingers aboutan inch apart and going, and
then still going.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
We are no longer in the same city.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Could you imagine the platypus just plowing down the
city and Eric Idle says I'm notquite dead yet, it's just a
flesh wound.
Actually, I think I'm feelingquite better.
It's just a flesh wound.
Actually, I think I'm feelingquite better.
It's just a flesh wound.
I think I'll live.
I think I'll live, like he wasjust freshly squatted on and
he's just like.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I think I'll be fine that movie's fantastic for the
most part.
I love the the French guys inthat movie oh, the French guys
yeah, yeah, and they're debatingwhat type of bird it is.
All right, so I love it.
I told them we have one.
I told them we have one theHoly Grail.
I told them we already have one.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
It's so good, but let's circle back.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Okay, circle back.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
We've got the cast.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
We've got the cast.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
The cast is, we've got the cast.
Whatever the cast is, we've gotuh, doing the rock.
Johnson jack quaid jack quaid.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Jeffrey d morgan.
Jeffrey d morgan, everybodyelse is, I don't care about
anybody else well, let's takethe three actors okay, pick
three actors who you'rereplacing them with okay, um, oh
, that's a hard one.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yeah, not just one.
Who are you replacing, dwayne?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
The Rock.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Johnson.
With who are you replacingJeffrey Dean Morgan with?
And I don't really remember whoJack Quaid played.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Jack Quaid.
He was like one of thescientist guys that were with
Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
Oh, he's one of the bad guys,right?
No?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
no, oh, at the beginning.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
At the beginning, okay he's the one that they try
to freak out.
Um, I'm gonna go with, can I?
Can I pick a time period forthis actor?
Is that okay, can I?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
break the rules, like any time period.
Any actor like this is fantasyfantasy draft.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Give me 2 000 brendan frasier for doing the rock
johnson I can't argue with that.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
That's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Give me 2 000 or brendan frasier for doing the
rock johnson that's pretty goodum for jeffrey d morgan.
Give me tommy lee jones that'snot bad.
Give me tommy lee jones.
I'm on fire tonight.
Um, for jack quaid, give mekevin hart.
(26:43):
I know there's too much kevinhart in the world, but for the
fact that he's kind of a scaredguy in this kevin hart could
kind of fit.
He would fit perfectly in that,and just the reaction he'd be
kevin hartwood would kind of fit.
So that would be my lineup rightthere okay, okay, what you got.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
So I want to start with jeffrey d morgan.
Okay, the, the federal agent,this fearless law man.
Yep, I want a different angle.
Okay, I kind of want a weasleyguy, steve buscini.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
No, I want sam rockwell that's okay, I can see
that.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I can see that okay you get kind of weasley role
where you're like you don'tquite trust the guy, but you
like him.
Okay, you like him.
Um, for for jack quaid replacehim with that's a good that is a
(27:47):
good question.
Um, that is a good question.
The right answer is kevin hart.
It, it is, it is.
It is a good question.
The right answer is Kevin Hart.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
I hate to say that.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
It is a good answer, but I'm going to go a different
angle.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Let me look this guy up.
I got to remember his name.
I'm bad with names is his name,chikamanga.
No, no, I'm going to go.
Hear me out here.
Hear me out here.
He's a cowardly character, he'sexpressive.
(28:32):
He's reacting to a gorillaattack.
Jim Varney.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Fun fact, fun fact about Jim Varney.
Fun fact, fun fact about JimVarney.
He's the only actor that RobinWilliams actually acknowledged.
I can go toe-to-toe with him.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's fair.
I actually haven't seen asingle Jim Varney movie.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Really.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I have not, it's fantastic and actually it's
funny because I've seen, I think, skits of his, but I haven't
seen like full movies.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
There's actually a short of him out there, check it
out.
If you, if anybody gets thechance, check it out.
It's robin williams and he is.
Robin williams is going offbehind the scenes of something
with jim varney and jim varney'smatching him toe for toe.
Like robin williams is justtrying to bs here with with jim
varney and j Jim Varney'smatching him toe for toe.
Like Robin Williams is justtrying to BS here with with Jim
Varney and Jim Varney justrolling with it and actually
(29:26):
matching him.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
And Robin Williams is just like who is this guy?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
And.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Jim Varney's, just like I'm earnest.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
He is fantastic, he is yeah, you can't, he is
actually one of the most hiddenactors of america of all time.
I feel like, okay, open splashmountain for those disney
fanatics out there, because we'dlike to tie ourselves back to
disney sometimes.
So yeah, we do sometimes he is,he opened, he opened splash
mountain um for duane the rock.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Johnson's role.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, 2000,.
Brandon.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Fraser, that is a good pick.
That is a very good pick.
I don't know if my pick isgoing to top that.
I don't think so.
In my head I was, like you know, harrison Ford.
Yeah, 80s, harrison Ford.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
It's not my pick.
It's not my pick.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you.
I'm like that would be fun.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
But with Jim Varney.
There's one other actoractually here.
If you say his name, I willpoop a blue nickel in my pants,
right here I'll actually takeright here and it'll be a
surprise pick.
I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
It's not going to be that pick.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Jim Varney.
And then I chose be that pick,okay, um, jim varney.
And then, um, uh, I chose samrockwell for the federal agent
yeah like we got two kind ofweasels yeah I don't want to
counter that, really okay.
I don't want so much a straightman as let's just make this a
(31:00):
comedy and let's make it jackiechan, because hear me out the
stunts, let's make them funny,let's make them creative.
Okay, can I?
Speaker 1 (31:14):
throw out who I was thinking.
Go for it, tim allen no, getout of here.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
No, he, no, he.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
He is outside of, like galaxy quest, which he's
fantastic in, and I went tomountain from that era and I
went to mountain from galaxyquest era I don't think he would
pull it I think, he'd pull.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I don't think so.
I'm saying or let's, let's get,let's get Jackie Chan in a
movie where he's not the biggestthreat.
Let's get a movie where he's upagainst a big crocodile or
something.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Like let's go with it .
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Let's get creative with the stunts.
Let's get interested.
Because, I'm sorry, but likeDwayne the Rock Johnson, like
he's fun but he's notinteresting to watch.
In a stunts aspect he is abrick.
You add in Brendan Fraser he'sa good pick, he's very
charismatic, but I think JackieChan actually also has that
(32:12):
charisma.
And then you add in the stuntsand we only even make this a
martial arts movie.
Let's not do that.
And we only even make this amartial arts movie.
Like, let's not do that.
Let's just have him do funstunts as he's dodging a giant
wolf and crocodile andoccasionally a gorilla.
Like that would be fun so I'mactually gonna nope, nevermind
(32:38):
you can't top Jackie Chan no, Iwas gonna say the dude was gonna
do a movie about terroristsattacking the World Trade Center
and it got canceled due to Idon't remember when 9-11
happened.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
I was going to say, make Sam Rockwell actually the
main character or no, make GaryOldman the actual cop guy.
Make Sam Rockwell the maincharacter and the actual cop guy
, sam Rockwell the maincharacter, sam Rockwell should
be more main characters andstuff.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I don't think this is a movie, though.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
The Way Way Back.
Have you ever seen thatFantastic movie?
Recommend it Moon.
The Way Way Back.
Moon Never seen that.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Sam Rockwell is actually a good hidden actor.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
He's like gary oldman almost I don't think, I don't
think gary oldman's necessarilyhidden, he's just no, he's not
supporting roles, yeah whichkind of sucks.
And I think sam rockwell iskind of in the same boat, but he
is kind of hidden on top of it.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
He's like the next gary oldman he is fantastic
actor more comedic, more comedic.
Gary oldman, I feel like yeah,because he plays more comedy
roles than gary oldman but he'sgot that range he does he's got
that range um hidden talent.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Let's get sam rockwell and gary oldman in more
movies, please, as leads yeah,but I mean, besides villains and
other things um I mean samrockwell's been been heroes yeah
moon he was.
He was a hero um way, way back.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
He was technically a hero uh, seven psychopaths.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
He was technically a hero what's the, what's the
character?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
so he's in.
I forgot the name gogginswalter goggins walter goggins
yeah, why is he getting so muchstuff when sam rockwell could
probably do better than waltergoggins?
Speaker 2 (34:35):
was sam, okay, okay hear me out here, hear me out
here, hear me out here, I'mlistening.
Let's stop putting Chris Prattin stuff and let's start putting
Sam Rockwell in these roles.
Maybe Not necessarily thecartoons like Mario and Garfield
and stuff like that, but likePassengers, a movie about a guy
(34:59):
who wakes up in the middle ofsome space express flight one,
and then wakes up some chick tobe like oh no, your pod must
malfunction too.
I totally didn't tamper with it, like that's a Sam Rockwell
type of role.
That's not a Chris Pratt role.
Let's throw Sam Rockwell inmore roles that are that kind of
(35:20):
comedic role that ask for morethan what Chris Pratt can do.
And I'm not trying to diss onChris Pratt, but comparatively.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
What if he was the agent?
Isn't that what you said?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
The agent.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Yeah, in this movie, isn't that what you said?
Put him in Jeffrey DeanMorgan's role.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yeah, though, jeffrey Dean.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Morgan was actually excellent in this movie, isn't
that what you said?
Put him in Jeffrey D Morgan'srole.
Yeah, though, jeffrey.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
D Morgan was actually excellent in this movie.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
He was actually, he's actually a hidden talent
himself too.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
He's fantastic in this.
I was surprised In Jeffrey.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
D Morgan.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Yeah, oh, he is, I've not seen him in anything prior
to this.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Oh, he is Almost in everything he plays and he's
fantastic, but he doesn't getcast for a lot of stuff and I
don't know why.
He's actually a pretty goodactor.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
He should.
He's really good.
Sorry, I had a burp, he's supercharismatic.
He's fun to watch and he'schewing up all the scenery in
this Like I don't know what moreyou can ask.
He gave me I think you're rightwith this with the Tommy Lee
(36:26):
Jones pic.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
He gave you Tommy Lee Jones.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
I think you said Like in Fugitive, in Fugitive,
specifically Like Fugitive andHarry Dean Morgan.
This is a lesser movie.
We'll get to final thoughts.
Fugitive a lesser movie, we'llget to final thoughts.
Fugitive fantastic movie, butthe role, specifically yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
I think you mentioned in this movie that you said
that Jeffrey Dean Morgan'strying to do an accent.
I'm like no, I think he's justplaying off of what he already
has.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah, because I was definitely getting like a Tommy
Lee Jones kind of kick.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I think he was just giving oomph to what he had,
because I was definitely gettinglike a Tommy Lee Jones kind of
kick.
I think he was just kick, buthe was giving oomph to what he
had, okay, I think in this movie, and I think he already has
some sort of accent like that Imight be wrong.
See, I wasn't familiar with himprior, but in every movie in
Jeffrey Dean Morgan or everyshow that I've seen in Jeffrey
Dean Morgan.
(37:20):
He's a pretty solid actoractually, like I've never seen
him like flop in a movie.
Okay, he's a solid, solid actor, even in a supernatural Great
show.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Okay, I've never seen that.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Play Sam and Dean's dad.
Fantastic actor in that show.
I don't, I don't know who thoseare.
Sam and Dean.
They're the main characters,jensen, eccles and I don't
remember the other guy, sam,whoever plays as Sam, but they
call him Moose.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Jensen.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Eccles is in a lot of stuff.
He's actually supposed to bethe next Batman supposedly.
He actually does a lot ofBatman voices.
He was under the Red Hood.
He was under the Red Hood.
He was actually the Red Hood inthat movie.
People think that he should bethe next Bruce Wayne.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Harry Dean Sand Harry , what Sorry, I missed the
middle part.
Who should be the next?
Bruce Wayne Jensen.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Ackles I don't know who that is.
He plays Dean in Supernatural,plays under the Red Hood.
He's the Red Hood, okay, in allthe new Batman movies, cartoons
.
Most of the time he's BruceWayne in Batman.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
What are your favorite kind of scenes from
this movie?
Speaker 1 (38:43):
I actually love the opening scene kind of, when
Dwayne the Rock Johnson's hit,he's introduced and he's walking
through just kind of theenclosure for the most part and
they introduce George.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
George, George, George of the jungle.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
It's just an albino ape.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
George George George of the jungle, and is the albino
ape George George George of thejungle.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
And you see, george is basically anytime George and
George George.
George of the jungle, dwaynethe Rock Johnson gets to
interact.
It's kind of fun to actuallysee them interact with each
other, even at the end whereGeorge George, george of the
jungle Makes gestures towardshim about him and the lady
(39:24):
that's in the movie.
Yep and just that interactionis probably the best part of the
movie personally, just them andtheir connection okay, I can't
complain about that, becausethat was also going to be my
number one pick.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
My number one pick is going to be actually a Harry
Dean Stanton movie, kind ofBecause you did pick my number
one where it's that initialinteraction at the opening, but
where Harry Dean Stanton.
Is it Harry Dean Stanton?
It's not Harry Dean Stanton.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan so closewhere Jeffrey Dean Morgan is
(40:21):
have I been Harry DeanStanton-ing this whole time.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
I think you said Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
That's okay.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Slip of the tongue when Jeffrey Dean Morgan is
interacting with one of the badguys, kind of the stooge guy,
and he's like why don't you letme hold on to the rat in that
briefcase and I'll let you gofree?
Because I felt like that wasthe spot, like I, I can't.
Yours is the number one.
(40:51):
The pick that you did isabsolutely number one.
But I felt like that was thescene where we got to see harry
dean stan, kind of Jeffrey DeanMorgan.
Yes, jeffrey Dean Morgan flexeschops a little bit more than he
could in other scenes, not tosay that he couldn't, but it was
(41:13):
more of like kind of a him andinsignificant character.
So seeing him play off of thatwas was a ton of fun for for me
personally, because I just I, Ilike seeing character actors be
able to own a scene, and that'swhat we got to see was a
(41:34):
character actor owning a scenehe chewed it up.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
He was on the scene he did.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
He chewed it up more than that alligator did.
And speaking of that alligator,what are your final thoughts on
rampage 2018?
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I would say that this movie is something that you're
probably safe to watch with akid.
For the most part, it's just anaction movie.
If you let your kid watch StarWars, you can let your kid watch
this.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Agreed.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
In the end this is an action movie.
To me it is straight action.
It is straight.
Monster tears the town up.
I do like the comedy bits inthis movie.
I do like the actors in thismovie.
I know that we don't do sevensin this.
We don't, we don't.
But this is a hard seven.
If this was ever a seven, thisis a seven we don't do seven so
(42:36):
but this is a hard we don't dosevens.
Okay, this is a hard 6.9.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
This is a hard 6.9.
Or 8.1?
.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Yeah, it's 7.1.
It's 6.9.
Is it 6.9?
It's a 6.9.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Okay, I can't argue with that.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
I honestly think that this is just the average.
This is a hard.
C for me and I can't get anylower than that.
I can't move.
This is what it is.
You know if you played the gameMonster Tears Up Town.
That's what you do.
That's what it is.
If you want a cheap, cheesy,cheesy fun time of a king kong
(43:23):
like if you see these newer kingkongs, godzillas, you see these
newer ones.
If you want some with morecomedy in it, this is your movie
.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I will say this is better than the american king
kongs, the, the newer ones, orgodzillas.
Um, I will stick my neck outfor the peter jackson king kong
because I do enjoy that.
That is basically a shot forshot remake of the original
which, like doesn't give it itsown like, like, that's doing a
(43:56):
shot for shot isn't like how youdo a good like movie like the
vinceughn.
Uh, psycho trash.
But, um, I thought this was uh,I, I agree, I think any kid
could really watch this.
It's a straight action.
Um, if they can watch Star Wars, they can watch this.
That's absolutely.
(44:17):
That's absolutely the case.
You hit the nail on the head.
I think the thing for me isthis is average.
It's a five, because a five isas mid as it gets and yeah, like
so for me, I see a big monstermovie.
(44:41):
That's fun.
You, you watch any of the likethe was like soho era godzilla
movies.
They're fun, they're schlocky,they're stupid, but like, also,
if you want to go into it, themonsters represent something
like king ador represents chinaand the threat that represented
(45:02):
to Japan at the time.
Uh, mothra represented mothernature.
Um, was it?
Uh, gigan, I think, representedAmerica or something like that.
Uh, and and um, hedorahrepresented, uh, pollution, um,
like the things represented moreso like there's a bit more of a
message there and so there's,there's.
(45:24):
You get this the fun schlocky,laugh out loud kind of monster
movie.
But then, if you want, therethere is a bit more substance to
it, there's a bit more to kindof chew off there.
Um, not to say that thisdoesn't like they put a lot of
work into this movie.
They also put a lot of workinto the old movies.
(45:46):
I just felt like this waslacking any further substance
other than large thing smasheslarge city.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
What are you into?
Would you say this is one ofthe better video game movies?
Would?
Speaker 2 (46:01):
you say this is one of the better video game movies.
I'll admit I have not seen alot so I can't say Like what
video game movies are kind ofstick outs for you.
Because I have not seen Doom,I've not seen any Resident Evil
(46:23):
movies.
Um, I have seen mario bros.
I would watch either mario brosover this and, um, really
absolutely 100.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
I would actually go on a limb and say that I would
rather watch this than the newmario bros.
Unless I'm watching with a kid,then I'd rather watch the new
mario bros with a kid, but Iwould rather watch this.
If it was my own time.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
I'd rather watch this see, I I'd rather watch the new
mario bros because I felt likethat has a bit more interest as
far as like visual kind ofdisplay, um, the environments
that they have, kind of theprops that they have, the
callbacks to the classic gamesand stuff like that is a bit
more interesting than LargeThing Destroys Large City.
(47:10):
So that's just kind of where Istand.
I do prefer both of the Mariomovies to this.
I just think this is lacking alot.
If I'm sick, I'll watch it.
If not, mario movies to this, Ijust think this is just lacking
a lot.
If I'm sick, I'll watch it.
If not, you know, then I'm notwatching it.
Like it's a five With that.
(47:33):
This has been the BackseatCritics.
If you enjoyed this episode, besure to check us out.
If you find us anywhere, justlook at the Backseat Critics.
You listen to us, you applaudthe back seat critics.
You listen to us, you applaudwe found us.
Congratulations, uh, like us ifyou like us, don't like us if
you don't, whatever, we're notyour mom, and with that we out.
You know what we're going to talk about today.
(00:01):
We're going to talk aboutRampage and with that being said
, welcome back to the BackseatCritics.
My name's.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
RJ.
My name's Andrew.
And this is a podcast where wetalk about movies that you
should probably Wow.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, Wait, let's start
that over.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Why?
Just because Do you see howmuch we were peaking.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Okay, start that over .
Why?
Just because?
Do you see how much we werepeaking?
Okay, so we're gonna talk aboutrampage and welcome back to the
backseat critics.
My name is andrew and this isthe podcast where we review
movies that you should see clearof.
Are you mocking me?
What do you mean?
I'm mocking you, I'm mockingcrap.
(00:45):
What's the monkey's name inthis movie?
I don't remember the monkey'sname Jumanji.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
No, we're talking about Mighty Joe Young.
Was it Mighty Joe Young?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Probably no.
No Might as well be Same movie.
I feel like just one has moresteroids and stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Okay question Would you rather this movie have
Charlize Theron in it?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yes, I absolutely agree.
Why is that a question?
Why are we questioning that?
Would you rather have thismovie?
No, that's an automatic yes.
Talking to the mic dude?
That's an automatic yes.
Why would you question?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
that Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I'm going to, would you?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
question that.
Okay, guess what?
Okay, I'm going to give you alittle question here.
Okay, questionnaire, bring iton Boom.
What year did this movie comeout?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
2019.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Close 2018.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Okay, that's close.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Okay, name three actors in this movie.
Oh snap, three actors jeffreydean, morgan dwayne rock.
Johnson jack quaid name fourwhoa, just because I got three.
You didn't think I knew theseactors.
Come at me.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
You think you can catch me Name four there's no
other good actor.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Name four there's no other good actor in this movie,
exactly George who's.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
George the monkey.
Are you the monkey?
No, George is the monkey.
Did she call you babe?
No, she called me monkey.
Did she call you babe?
Speaker 1 (02:25):
No, she called me Abe .
Oh, abe, abraham Lincoln.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Oh, did you know that Abe Lincoln had a surprisingly
high-pitched voice?
So anytime he talked it tookpeople several minutes to get
used to his voice.
So every time I think of AbeLincoln talking in my head I'm
picturing the and so we go towar guy from pirate street.
That's what I picture lincolnsounds like now he who walks
(02:53):
with bare feet.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I got you off guard there.
You did not expect me to hityou with that.
Oh, what should we look up here?
Google search and Google fiend.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Gettysburg Address.
Four score and seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
So you've seen you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
obviously Our fathers brought forth upon this
continent a new nation.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Hold on, hold on, hold on Hold on Hold, on Hold,
on Hold on Kermit.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Conceived in liberty and dedicated to a proposition
that all men must must, maybe ordo whatever they want.
Must, must, maybe, do whateverthey want.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I realize I shouldn't probably not be blowing like
that, because it sounds like ahookah.
It's just really a water bottle.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Can you pass me my water bottle?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
It sounds like I'm blowing like a hookah.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I'm so thirsty.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
That sounds like a hookah, doesn't it?
I?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
don't know, let me try Like a pipe.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yeah, that sounds like a hookah, doesn't it?
I don't know, let me try Like apipe.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yeah, that sounds like we're.
Oh jeez, I got some splash back.
You got it sprayed.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Anyways, you've seen the top five movie of all time
Master Disguise.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh, top five.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
That's a top five movie.
For me, it's a guilty pleasure.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
It's a guilty pleasure.
I've seen it, I've.
For me, that's, that's apleasure, it's a guilty pleasure
.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Um, that's just I've seen it, I've seen a few times.
You've seen that abrahamlincoln switch scene.
Do you remember?
I don't remember.
Oh my gosh, I don't they.
They go, they call back thehistory of the master disguise
and at one point they do thiswhole.
Abraham lincoln comes out I'llbe honest, he's a boring speaker
and they swapped out foranother guy that disguises
abraham l Fantastic scene.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I'll be honest, I totally want a drunk history of
Abraham Lincoln, but with ahigh-pitched voice.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Blake, okay, no, no, no, I'll throw you one better.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
I got a quick fact check here.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Oh, I'm going to throw you one, though I can't
throw you something real quick.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It's an ape, not a monkey.
Thank you, Jackal.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I'm going to throw you something real quick.
It's an ape, not a monkey.
Thank you, jackal, I'm gonnathrow you something ready.
What if it was the guy who wasoriginally supposed to play
darth vader?
His voice during the drunkhistory james earl jones no, the
guy who actually played darthdavid proulis yeah, I guess he
had a high pitch voice, didn'the like?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
That was like a nativity, it was higher-pitched.
I wouldn't say it washigh-pitched.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Now you've ruined my whole thing.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
You know he got paid apparently nothing for Return of
the Jedi.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
If he was smart he would have said okay, I'll take
nothing, but you give me like 2%of all Star Wars.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
So the thing is he agreed to a percentage of I
figured it was box officerevenue or home sales for Star
Wars and that percentage cameout to be 0% due to some shady
(06:09):
accounting.
So to this day, david Puce hasnot been paid for Return of the
Jedi.
What?
Speaker 1 (06:15):
actor.
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Which sucks Like pay the dude.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Which actor do you think has the best deal ever in
movie?
What's the smartest deal evernegotiated in movies?
I'll tell you who I think it isafter you tell you, tell me
yours, tell me yours uh, comeback to me on that.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You go first jack nicholson for joker in batman.
What was his deal?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
he got a percentage of the, the toys and merchandise
sold for batman, but joker didhe play?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
what joker did?
He play jack nicholson yeah, oh, jack nicholson, okay, okay, my
brain went to jack black and Iwas so confused jack nicholson.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
He got a percentage of the joker like of the merch
yeah, which is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Merch yeah, which is fantastic.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
You know that movie's going to sell, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Boom.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Cut me in.
That's probably one of the bestdeals negotiated.
I think he negotiated abovewhat he would have made as the
Joker actually.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I don't know, I don't know of any major deals like
that, so I can't speak to that.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
But would you agree that Jack Nicholson smart?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
No, he made a smart decision.
I would say for worst.
It's not even her fault.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah, bill Murray as Garfield.
No, no, no, no, her fault, herfault, yeah, bill.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Murray as Garfield.
No, no, no, no.
Her fault, her fault.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
The worst deal ever made was Shelley Duvall in the
Shining yeah, Mental andemotional abuse not cool.
That's not a cool trade-off.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
No, all right, but we're going to talk about
Rampage here, one of the worstmovies.
No, I'm joking, I don't knowthis movie.
I'll give my final thoughts.
Later I have my final thoughtsactually located in my brain,
ready to go.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
That's where my final thoughts are what I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
No, that's fantastic.
Maybe we can discover them anddeep dive into it as we talk
about this movie.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Yeah, do you want to do like a?
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
One minute summary.
Okay, I can do it in 30 seconds.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah, go for it All right.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Monkey meets Dwayne Lark Johnson.
Dwayne Lark Johnson helpsMonkey 10 seconds left.
Oh my gosh, that's not 30seconds, 10 seconds left.
Animals take super serum.
Dwayne Lark-Johnson, dwayne.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Lark-Johnson Monkey takes him down.
Two, no, you've got 45.
You've got 40 seconds.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
All right, a whole bunch of animals.
Take the super serum divide.
They're made up by this evilcompany and as this evil company
, they were like oh, we need totrack this down so we can create
super monsters.
But it got to dwayne the rock,johnson, secret monkey and doing
their rock, johnson and albinomonkey decide to fight these
evil monsters, take them downand save the world you've got.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
You've got 15 seconds left.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
That's the movie, though you said 15 seconds, okay
, so great scene in this moviewhere dwayne eric johnson is
signing with the monkey and heteaches him how to flip him off.
That's probably the best scenein this movie.
It happens pretty quickly tooin the movie too really yeah,
that's pretty quickly oh, yeah,yeah, right at the beginning,
(09:47):
yeah, yeah um, we're signingwith it the the whole
interaction between george anddwayne there.
Dwayne the rock johnson alsowoman in summer oh yeah, I know
we're over, I'm just, I'm justdiving you did a good job.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
You did a good job.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I'm just, I mean, basically that's what it is.
Am I wrong?
It's, you're not wrong.
It's one of those monstersdestroy city and monster save
city yeah, it's.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's very black and white.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
There's not too much to this and there's a good
monster and there's a badmonster and there's somehow the
government gets tied into it,which is normal in these types
of situations I guess, I guessI'll get to it in like final
thoughts, so I'll hold on tothat.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
But uh, crocodile grows into gin, ginormous
monster.
Yeah, wolf grows to be prettybig, basically same size as ape,
which are both about the samesize.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Now you never, you never play these games, though,
no, no, no, no no, no, but thisis kind of my problem.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
And I know that there's different kind of serums
, but that crocs amped thatcrocs two to three times the
size of both the ape and thewolf.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
The wolf is massive.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
But the same size as the ape, but the ape is larger
than the wolf.
Starting off, yeah like day one.
The apes two to three times thesize of the wolf, but they end
up they end up being about thesame size but then the croc's
bigger the croc being about.
Like I know, crocs get to beabout like 15, 20 feet when
they're really, really big sothat's from like tail, but if
(11:23):
you think about they, like thetail like size wise, like like
height wise and stuff like thatgot a fat tail, but height wise,
no, this croc began and itlooks like a 10 footer, like it
doesn't look.
It looks large, but it doesn'tlook like super large when no
when it first eats up that serum, but but at the end of the
(11:43):
movie it's three times the sizeof the other two.
What did that guy get?
Why is it so big?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I'll tell you what he got.
Why does?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
the wolf and the alligator.
Get these spiny quills all overthem and then ape just looks
like an ape.
But bigger.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I'll tell you what he got.
I'll tell you what thecrocodile got he got the Lucky
Charms.
Oxycontin.
Oh, oh, I was going to sayLucky Charms, marshmallows.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Oh, those things will amp you up.
That will make you larger.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
That will jack you up .
I'll give you that.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
If your diet was just Well.
Okay, that just happened.
I just snapped off part of themic stand, that's fine, we're
going to roll with it.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
We're going to roll with it.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Forget that piece.
You know, if I forgot where Iwas going with this, you're
going to say that.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Lucky Charms marshmallows give you diabetes.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
If your diet consists 100% of Lucky Charms
marshmallows, you will actuallyget skinnier.
There's zero calories, zero fatand 100% sugar in those.
You'll have diabetes, butyou'll be thin.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Do you think that if you had a lucky charms
marshmallow right that you are?
I don't know if you're diet Iguess if you eat it you're
guaranteed to get cancer.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Probably that's all you eat oh, I thought you were
saying like in general, like no,do you think that like like?
Okay, actually no, I should saythis if you eat lucky charms in
general, yeah, you're gonna, no, you're gonna get cancer.
If your diet was straightstraight those marshmallows.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
You're gonna get cancer, just dehydrated
marshmallows.
I feel like it.
I don't think so.
I think you're gonna getdiabetes I don't know, dude,
that's a tough call I heard Isaw something the other day that
since they're dehydrated, thatyou put them like in the
microwave or something in waterand they blow up, right?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
yeah, yeah, actually, most marshmallows do blow up
when you put them in themicrowave.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yeah, actually do you have marshmallows here, I have
the lucky charms ones like theysell them in, just the bags rj,
rj straight idea what let's getsome.
Put it in a bowl and test thisout so you can see how these
monsters blow up in this movie.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah, we'll get a video of this.
It looks like a-.
All right, let's time out here,let's go.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Oh, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
What are we doing?
We're putting yeah, all right,I don't remember what we were
talking about?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Oh, you're talking about marshmallows blowing up
inside the microwave.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Specifically, I almost said explicitly so if you
watched our reel on Instagram,you'll realize that it didn't
really work out for us.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
They blew up quite a bit Decent size.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
They blew up, but they didn't like blow up.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
No, I think it's probably.
I needed to probably cook themlonger.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, sweet snow we're burning.
We cooked them for like what?
A minute and a half total.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Yeah, a minute and a half total.
Yeah, minute 15, I thinkactually they um minute 15.
I think actually they got kindof puffy, but that was about it.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yeah, being on no sugar diet, I really wanted to
dive in on it, but I I lost outon that I didn't dive in on it
you should have I should have umtold the people what it tasted
like but what I did do was Iwatched this movie you did, and
I got a question for you yesother than which actor would you
replace us with?
Blah blah, like the typicalstuff.
(15:22):
We'll circle back to that.
We'll circle back to that.
What we're going to do is whatanimals would you use instead of
an ape, a wolf and a crocodile?
Speaker 1 (15:38):
I think in one part in the video games they actually
do a turtle like a snappingturtle.
If I remember right, so there'sa snapping turtle in the video
games, so my go-to would be asnapping turtle.
But I'm going to take that backand I'm going to flip it.
I'm going to say ant An ant Anant.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Okay, I think there's a movie in the 70s about this,
like Attack of the Ants orsomething like that there is
Future episode there is.
I've seen two or three of them.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
I've seen it Two, I don't know.
It was on before Big Ben backin the day.
My friend, who I spent thenight at, really wanted to watch
Big Ben, but we had to watchthis.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Ant movie oh, the Attack of the Ants Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
You watch Big Ben?
I do not.
You know what that's about.
I don't About a bear.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Grizzly bear.
Oh, you know what I think, I do.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Grizzly bear.
Grizzly bears overrated.
It was over.
It was actually a terrible bookand it was a terrible movie but
so you're doing a snappingturtle no, I'm doing an ant,
you're doing.
Oh sorry, I can't do a turtle,because the video games already
did a turtle, so I can'tnecessarily do a turtle okay, um
, okay, what.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
What other animals you got?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
two others I got two others.
Okay, I'm going to say, youknow, I'd say like a monkey, but
a monkey's already technicallytaken by the ape because of
George.
No, not really because themonkeys have the tail.
They're more kind of athleticrather than like King Kong-y, no
(17:13):
, no no, even though we've heardthat that's a slang term, I
can't go into it.
Wait, we saw a plane of theapes and you call them a monkey.
It goes off their rocker.
Okay, I think I would choose anelephant.
Okay, I think it would beinteresting to see an elephant
grow and a penguin A penguinwould be fun.
(17:37):
A penguin Would be sliding allover the city with their porky
pigs.
I think it'd be fun to see a biggiant penguin, that's I said
porky pigs.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I meant, like their quills, their quills.
I don't know why I said porkypigs.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I would want to see a penguin destroy a city.
That's kind of fun.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
That would be kind of fun.
I'll admit that.
Yeah, Number one, I'm going tokoala bear, koala bear.
Koala bears are incrediblyvicious.
I've seen that they'reincredibly vicious.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I saw them attack a kid in one of the videos.
A real on Instagram.
Yeah, on Insta.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
They're known as tree drop bears, I think, because
they drop out of trees andattack you.
I know that's a joke, but it'sprobably true.
But let's be real here.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
All right, what else you got?
A koala, a platypus.
You would choose something likethat a platypus.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
They got the poisonous fur.
They're laying eggs.
They're monstrosities as it is.
I love them.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
They're monstrosities though I'm surprised you don't
have a pet platypus yet.
Actually I'm not gonna lie, Icould see you having a plat pat
I seem like a platypus type ofguy you seem like you'd have a
pet like not not a peri theplatypus, like I feel like you
just have a platypus.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
So I go straight up.
Platypus how would I pet it?
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Huh, how would I pet it?
You tell me You're the platypuswhisperer over here.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Anyways, I want a large platypus, the platypus-er,
yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, anyways, Anyways, anyways.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I don't know how else to say that.
How else would you say that?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
The Pied Piper.
I guess Platypus-er, that's theonly way to say it.
You tell me that Platypus-er,that's the only way to say it.
You tell me that, platypus.
That's all you could say.
I don't know what else youcould say.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
After the us.
What else are you going to say?
All you can do is er Us-er.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
It's us-uh, platypus-uh, platypus-er All
right, it's Usa.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Podpuss, podpusser, alright.
Third monstrosity when are yougoing with Chihuahua?
Get out of here, I'm done.
It's like the wolf, but justStrap Inside the house.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
The chihuahua was.
What was a joke?
It was guys.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Okay, what did you?
What did you actually mean?
What was the smoke screen for Aparrot?
Get out of here.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
No, hear me out.
I hate birds, I know, but agiant bird is basically a
dinosaur, and this dinosaur cantalk.
He's like Pauly want a cracker,and then he destroys Chicago.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Oh him, I just, I just.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
He's like.
He's like.
Paulie won a whiskey.
There goes Cleveland Ohio.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
You know, I might, I might, chicago might get
replaced one day here, poorfella.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Oh, I was talking about the city of Chicago.
Oh, I was talking about the cat.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Iago, oh, I was talking about the cat.
I thought you mean he was gonnaattack the cat oh no.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
but yes, yes, chicago will get messed up.
But talking about messed upthat 2002 game, six western
conference finals coming soon.
That is coming soon, butill-timed, because that is no
longer the worst called game inNBA history Hot take.
(21:22):
We recorded that episode beforethis one Spoiler, I guess.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Can I rewind back to the bird comment?
Speaker 2 (21:32):
The parrots.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Go for it.
I don't trust birds, that'sokay.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
I don't care if you don't trust birds, that's okay.
I don't care if you don't trustbirds.
No, wait, hold up.
Wait, are you one of those guys?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
Are you one of those guys that are like, hey, birds
are by the cameras, by thegovernment.
No no, no, okay, so you're not.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
No, no, no, I'm off my rocker if it's indoors.
If you have an indoor bird, Idon't trust it why, outdoors
that's where it's supposed to be.
You're married to one they'resupposed to.
They're supposed to be outdoors.
I'm sorry, jackal, that wasincredibly rude of me when
they're indoors, though, theyhave those beady eyes and they
(22:11):
will poop on you.
Oh, get out cut it out, let'sgo.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
You're married to one .
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Back to Rampage.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
So okay, you got elephant, you got penguin, you
got ant, I got platypus, koalaand parrot.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
You might win just because of platypus, just a
giant Agent P.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Do you think it's growing quills at that point,
like the fur's, alreadypoisonous?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I just Can you imagine it like growing big and
stuff and all of a sudden itdoes the or whatever.
Agent P makes the sound, youknow.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Could you imagine laying an egg?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
No, you know what I'm talking about with the&p stuff,
right?
No, finnish and ferb, oh, Ihave.
I have, yeah, the agent.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
He makes the sound that oh yeah, the teeth clatter
kind of, yeah, what?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
if.
What if he makes that afterafterwards, like when he grows
that big and he's like, and hemakes that sound, or whatever,
whatever.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Yeah, I'm not into that.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
That'd be funny.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I doubt it what would be funny is if he grows large.
But the eggs that the platypuslays, normal sized, Just
thousands.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
No, wait, wait, wait, thousands Cadbury egg sized.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
So it's just like a little bit larger.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Cadbury.
No, those are those littlechocolate eggs that you see on
Easter.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yeah, yeah, they're a little bit larger than normal
eggs.
No.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
No, they're definitely smaller.
They are teeny tiny.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
They are bite-sized.
I have not had a Cadbury egg in20 years.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Have you had a bite-sized Snickers?
Sorry, what A bite-sizedSnickers, snickers.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah, the mini, sorry , what A bite-sized.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Snickers, snickers, the mini Snickers, not in a
while.
Okay, so it is smaller thanthat.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
So it's like Me, me, me, me.
He's so For the folks who can'tsee.
He's holding his fingers aboutan inch apart and going, and
that's so For the folks whocan't see.
He's holding his fingers aboutan inch apart and going, and
then still going.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
We are no longer in the same city.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Could you imagine the platypus just plowing down the
city and Eric Idle says I'm notquite dead yet, it's just a
flesh wound.
Actually, I think I'm feelingquite better.
It's just a flesh wound.
Actually, I think I'm feelingquite better.
It's just a flesh wound.
I think I'll live.
I think I'll live, like he wasjust freshly squatted on and
he's just like.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I think I'll be fine that movie's fantastic for the
most part.
I love the the French guys inthat movie oh, the French guys
yeah, yeah, and they're debatingwhat type of bird it is.
All right, so I love it.
I told them we have one.
I told them we have one theHoly Grail.
I told them we already have one.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
It's so good, but let's circle back.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Okay, circle back.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
We've got the cast.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
We've got the cast.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
The cast is, we've got the cast.
Whatever the cast is, we've gotuh, doing the rock.
Johnson jack quaid jack quaid.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Jeffrey d morgan.
Jeffrey d morgan, everybodyelse is, I don't care about
anybody else well, let's takethe three actors okay, pick
three actors who you'rereplacing them with okay, um, oh
, that's a hard one.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yeah, not just one.
Who are you replacing, dwayne?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
The Rock.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Johnson.
With who are you replacingJeffrey Dean Morgan with?
And I don't really remember whoJack Quaid played.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Jack Quaid.
He was like one of thescientist guys that were with
Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
Oh, he's one of the bad guys,right?
No?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
no, oh, at the beginning.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
At the beginning, okay he's the one that they try
to freak out.
Um, I'm gonna go with, can I?
Can I pick a time period forthis actor?
Is that okay, can I?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
break the rules, like any time period.
Any actor like this is fantasyfantasy draft.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Give me 2 000 brendan frasier for doing the rock
johnson I can't argue with that.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
That's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Give me 2 000 or brendan frasier for doing the
rock johnson that's pretty goodum for jeffrey d morgan.
Give me tommy lee jones that'snot bad.
Give me tommy lee jones.
I'm on fire tonight.
Um, for jack quaid, give mekevin hart.
(26:43):
I know there's too much kevinhart in the world, but for the
fact that he's kind of a scaredguy in this kevin hart could
kind of fit.
He would fit perfectly in that,and just the reaction he'd be
kevin hartwood would kind of fit.
So that would be my lineup rightthere okay, okay, what you got.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
So I want to start with jeffrey d morgan.
Okay, the, the federal agent,this fearless law man.
Yep, I want a different angle.
Okay, I kind of want a weasleyguy, steve buscini.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
No, I want sam rockwell that's okay, I can see
that.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I can see that okay you get kind of weasley role
where you're like you don'tquite trust the guy, but you
like him.
Okay, you like him.
Um, for for jack quaid replacehim with that's a good that is a
(27:47):
good question.
Um, that is a good question.
The right answer is kevin hart.
It, it is, it is.
It is a good question.
The right answer is Kevin Hart.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
I hate to say that.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
It is a good answer, but I'm going to go a different
angle.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Let me look this guy up.
I got to remember his name.
I'm bad with names is his name,chikamanga.
No, no, I'm going to go.
Hear me out here.
Hear me out here.
He's a cowardly character, he'sexpressive.
(28:32):
He's reacting to a gorillaattack.
Jim Varney.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Fun fact, fun fact about Jim Varney.
Fun fact, fun fact about JimVarney.
He's the only actor that RobinWilliams actually acknowledged.
I can go toe-to-toe with him.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
That's fair.
I actually haven't seen asingle Jim Varney movie.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Really.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I have not, it's fantastic and actually it's
funny because I've seen, I think, skits of his, but I haven't
seen like full movies.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
There's actually a short of him out there, check it
out.
If you, if anybody gets thechance, check it out.
It's robin williams and he is.
Robin williams is going offbehind the scenes of something
with jim varney and jim varney'smatching him toe for toe.
Like robin williams is justtrying to bs here with with jim
varney and j Jim Varney'smatching him toe for toe.
Like Robin Williams is justtrying to BS here with with Jim
Varney and Jim Varney justrolling with it and actually
(29:26):
matching him.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
And Robin Williams is just like who is this guy?
Speaker 1 (29:31):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
And.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Jim Varney's, just like I'm earnest.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
He is fantastic, he is yeah, you can't, he is
actually one of the most hiddenactors of america of all time.
I feel like, okay, open splashmountain for those disney
fanatics out there, because we'dlike to tie ourselves back to
disney sometimes.
So yeah, we do sometimes he is,he opened, he opened splash
mountain um for duane the rock.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Johnson's role.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, 2000,.
Brandon.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Fraser, that is a good pick.
That is a very good pick.
I don't know if my pick isgoing to top that.
I don't think so.
In my head I was, like you know, harrison Ford.
Yeah, 80s, harrison Ford.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
It's not my pick.
It's not my pick.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you.
I'm like that would be fun.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
But with Jim Varney.
There's one other actoractually here.
If you say his name, I willpoop a blue nickel in my pants,
right here I'll actually takeright here and it'll be a
surprise pick.
I'm not going to lie.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
It's not going to be that pick.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Jim Varney.
And then I chose be that pick,okay, um, jim varney.
And then, um, uh, I chose samrockwell for the federal agent
yeah like we got two kind ofweasels yeah I don't want to
counter that, really okay.
I don't want so much a straightman as let's just make this a
(31:00):
comedy and let's make it jackiechan, because hear me out the
stunts, let's make them funny,let's make them creative.
Okay, can I?
Speaker 1 (31:14):
throw out who I was thinking.
Go for it, tim allen no, getout of here.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
No, he, no, he.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
He is outside of, like galaxy quest, which he's
fantastic in, and I went tomountain from that era and I
went to mountain from galaxyquest era I don't think he would
pull it I think, he'd pull.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I don't think so.
I'm saying or let's, let's get,let's get Jackie Chan in a
movie where he's not the biggestthreat.
Let's get a movie where he's upagainst a big crocodile or
something.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Like let's go with it .
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Let's get creative with the stunts.
Let's get interested.
Because, I'm sorry, but likeDwayne the Rock Johnson, like
he's fun but he's notinteresting to watch.
In a stunts aspect he is abrick.
You add in Brendan Fraser he'sa good pick, he's very
charismatic, but I think JackieChan actually also has that
(32:12):
charisma.
And then you add in the stuntsand we only even make this a
martial arts movie.
Let's not do that.
And we only even make this amartial arts movie.
Like, let's not do that.
Let's just have him do funstunts as he's dodging a giant
wolf and crocodile andoccasionally a gorilla.
Like that would be fun so I'mactually gonna nope, nevermind
(32:38):
you can't top Jackie Chan no, Iwas gonna say the dude was gonna
do a movie about terroristsattacking the World Trade Center
and it got canceled due to Idon't remember when 9-11
happened.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
I was going to say, make Sam Rockwell actually the
main character or no, make GaryOldman the actual cop guy.
Make Sam Rockwell the maincharacter and the actual cop guy
, sam Rockwell the maincharacter, sam Rockwell should
be more main characters andstuff.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I don't think this is a movie, though.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
The Way Way Back.
Have you ever seen thatFantastic movie?
Recommend it Moon.
The Way Way Back.
Moon Never seen that.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Sam Rockwell is actually a good hidden actor.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
He's like gary oldman almost I don't think, I don't
think gary oldman's necessarilyhidden, he's just no, he's not
supporting roles, yeah whichkind of sucks.
And I think sam rockwell iskind of in the same boat, but he
is kind of hidden on top of it.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
He's like the next gary oldman he is fantastic
actor more comedic, more comedic.
Gary oldman, I feel like yeah,because he plays more comedy
roles than gary oldman but he'sgot that range he does he's got
that range um hidden talent.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Let's get sam rockwell and gary oldman in more
movies, please, as leads yeah,but I mean, besides villains and
other things um I mean samrockwell's been been heroes yeah
moon he was.
He was a hero um way, way back.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
He was technically a hero uh, seven psychopaths.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
He was technically a hero what's the, what's the
character?
Speaker 1 (34:21):
so he's in.
I forgot the name gogginswalter goggins walter goggins
yeah, why is he getting so muchstuff when sam rockwell could
probably do better than waltergoggins?
Speaker 2 (34:35):
was sam, okay, okay hear me out here, hear me out
here, hear me out here, I'mlistening.
Let's stop putting Chris Prattin stuff and let's start putting
Sam Rockwell in these roles.
Maybe Not necessarily thecartoons like Mario and Garfield
and stuff like that, but likePassengers, a movie about a guy
(34:59):
who wakes up in the middle ofsome space express flight one,
and then wakes up some chick tobe like oh no, your pod must
malfunction too.
I totally didn't tamper with it, like that's a Sam Rockwell
type of role.
That's not a Chris Pratt role.
Let's throw Sam Rockwell inmore roles that are that kind of
(35:20):
comedic role that ask for morethan what Chris Pratt can do.
And I'm not trying to diss onChris Pratt, but comparatively.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
What if he was the agent?
Isn't that what you said?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
The agent.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Yeah, in this movie, isn't that what you said?
Put him in Jeffrey DeanMorgan's role.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Yeah, though, jeffrey Dean.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Morgan was actually excellent in this movie, isn't
that what you said?
Put him in Jeffrey D Morgan'srole.
Yeah, though, jeffrey.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
D Morgan was actually excellent in this movie.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
He was actually, he's actually a hidden talent
himself too.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
He's fantastic in this.
I was surprised In Jeffrey.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
D Morgan.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Yeah, oh, he is, I've not seen him in anything prior
to this.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Oh, he is Almost in everything he plays and he's
fantastic, but he doesn't getcast for a lot of stuff and I
don't know why.
He's actually a pretty goodactor.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
He should.
He's really good.
Sorry, I had a burp, he's supercharismatic.
He's fun to watch and he'schewing up all the scenery in
this Like I don't know what moreyou can ask.
He gave me I think you're rightwith this with the Tommy Lee
(36:26):
Jones pic.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
He gave you Tommy Lee Jones.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
I think you said Like in Fugitive, in Fugitive,
specifically Like Fugitive andHarry Dean Morgan.
This is a lesser movie.
We'll get to final thoughts.
Fugitive a lesser movie, we'llget to final thoughts.
Fugitive fantastic movie, butthe role, specifically yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
I think you mentioned in this movie that you said
that Jeffrey Dean Morgan'strying to do an accent.
I'm like no, I think he's justplaying off of what he already
has.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah, because I was definitely getting like a Tommy
Lee Jones kind of kick.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I think he was just giving oomph to what he had,
because I was definitely gettinglike a Tommy Lee Jones kind of
kick.
I think he was just kick, buthe was giving oomph to what he
had, okay, I think in this movie, and I think he already has
some sort of accent like that Imight be wrong.
See, I wasn't familiar with himprior, but in every movie in
Jeffrey Dean Morgan or everyshow that I've seen in Jeffrey
Dean Morgan.
(37:20):
He's a pretty solid actoractually, like I've never seen
him like flop in a movie.
Okay, he's a solid, solid actor, even in a supernatural Great
show.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
Okay, I've never seen that.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Play Sam and Dean's dad.
Fantastic actor in that show.
I don't, I don't know who thoseare.
Sam and Dean.
They're the main characters,jensen, eccles and I don't
remember the other guy, sam,whoever plays as Sam, but they
call him Moose.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Jensen.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Eccles is in a lot of stuff.
He's actually supposed to bethe next Batman supposedly.
He actually does a lot ofBatman voices.
He was under the Red Hood.
He was under the Red Hood.
He was actually the Red Hood inthat movie.
People think that he should bethe next Bruce Wayne.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Harry Dean Sand Harry , what Sorry, I missed the
middle part.
Who should be the next?
Bruce Wayne Jensen.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Ackles I don't know who that is.
He plays Dean in Supernatural,plays under the Red Hood.
He's the Red Hood, okay, in allthe new Batman movies, cartoons
.
Most of the time he's BruceWayne in Batman.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
What are your favorite kind of scenes from
this movie?
Speaker 1 (38:43):
I actually love the opening scene kind of, when
Dwayne the Rock Johnson's hit,he's introduced and he's walking
through just kind of theenclosure for the most part and
they introduce George.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
George, George, George of the jungle.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
It's just an albino ape.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
George George George of the jungle, and is the albino
ape George George George of thejungle.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
And you see, george is basically anytime George and
George George.
George of the jungle, dwaynethe Rock Johnson gets to
interact.
It's kind of fun to actuallysee them interact with each
other, even at the end whereGeorge George, george of the
jungle Makes gestures towardshim about him and the lady
(39:24):
that's in the movie.
Yep and just that interactionis probably the best part of the
movie personally, just them andtheir connection okay, I can't
complain about that, becausethat was also going to be my
number one pick.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
My number one pick is going to be actually a Harry
Dean Stanton movie, kind ofBecause you did pick my number
one where it's that initialinteraction at the opening, but
where Harry Dean Stanton.
Is it Harry Dean Stanton?
It's not Harry Dean Stanton.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan so closewhere Jeffrey Dean Morgan is
(40:21):
have I been Harry DeanStanton-ing this whole time.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
I think you said Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
That's okay.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Slip of the tongue when Jeffrey Dean Morgan is
interacting with one of the badguys, kind of the stooge guy,
and he's like why don't you letme hold on to the rat in that
briefcase and I'll let you gofree?
Because I felt like that wasthe spot, like I, I can't.
Yours is the number one.
(40:51):
The pick that you did isabsolutely number one.
But I felt like that was thescene where we got to see harry
dean stan, kind of Jeffrey DeanMorgan.
Yes, jeffrey Dean Morgan flexeschops a little bit more than he
could in other scenes, not tosay that he couldn't, but it was
(41:13):
more of like kind of a him andinsignificant character.
So seeing him play off of thatwas was a ton of fun for for me
personally, because I just I, Ilike seeing character actors be
able to own a scene, and that'swhat we got to see was a
(41:34):
character actor owning a scenehe chewed it up.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
He was on the scene he did.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
He chewed it up more than that alligator did.
And speaking of that alligator,what are your final thoughts on
rampage 2018?
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I would say that this movie is something that you're
probably safe to watch with akid.
For the most part, it's just anaction movie.
If you let your kid watch StarWars, you can let your kid watch
this.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Agreed.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
In the end this is an action movie.
To me it is straight action.
It is straight.
Monster tears the town up.
I do like the comedy bits inthis movie.
I do like the actors in thismovie.
I know that we don't do sevensin this.
We don't, we don't.
But this is a hard seven.
If this was ever a seven, thisis a seven we don't do seven so
(42:36):
but this is a hard we don't dosevens.
Okay, this is a hard 6.9.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
This is a hard 6.9.
Or 8.1?
.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Yeah, it's 7.1.
It's 6.9.
Is it 6.9?
It's a 6.9.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Okay, I can't argue with that.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
I honestly think that this is just the average.
This is a hard.
C for me and I can't get anylower than that.
I can't move.
This is what it is.
You know if you played the gameMonster Tears Up Town.
That's what you do.
That's what it is.
If you want a cheap, cheesy,cheesy fun time of a king kong
(43:23):
like if you see these newer kingkongs, godzillas, you see these
newer ones.
If you want some with morecomedy in it, this is your movie
.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I will say this is better than the american king
kongs, the, the newer ones, orgodzillas.
Um, I will stick my neck outfor the peter jackson king kong
because I do enjoy that.
That is basically a shot forshot remake of the original
which, like doesn't give it itsown like, like, that's doing a
(43:56):
shot for shot isn't like how youdo a good like movie like the
vinceughn.
Uh, psycho trash.
But, um, I thought this was uh,I, I agree, I think any kid
could really watch this.
It's a straight action.
Um, if they can watch Star Wars, they can watch this.
That's absolutely.
(44:17):
That's absolutely the case.
You hit the nail on the head.
I think the thing for me isthis is average.
It's a five, because a five isas mid as it gets and yeah, like
so for me, I see a big monstermovie.
(44:41):
That's fun.
You, you watch any of the likethe was like soho era godzilla
movies.
They're fun, they're schlocky,they're stupid, but like, also,
if you want to go into it, themonsters represent something
like king ador represents chinaand the threat that represented
(45:02):
to Japan at the time.
Uh, mothra represented mothernature.
Um, was it?
Uh, gigan, I think, representedAmerica or something like that.
Uh, and and um, hedorahrepresented, uh, pollution, um,
like the things represented moreso like there's a bit more of a
message there and so there's,there's.
(45:24):
You get this the fun schlocky,laugh out loud kind of monster
movie.
But then, if you want, therethere is a bit more substance to
it, there's a bit more to kindof chew off there.
Um, not to say that thisdoesn't like they put a lot of
work into this movie.
They also put a lot of workinto the old movies.
(45:46):
I just felt like this waslacking any further substance
other than large thing smasheslarge city.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
What are you into?
Would you say this is one ofthe better video game movies?
Would?
Speaker 2 (46:01):
you say this is one of the better video game movies.
I'll admit I have not seen alot so I can't say Like what
video game movies are kind ofstick outs for you.
Because I have not seen Doom,I've not seen any Resident Evil
(46:23):
movies.
Um, I have seen mario bros.
I would watch either mario brosover this and, um, really
absolutely 100.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
I would actually go on a limb and say that I would
rather watch this than the newmario bros.
Unless I'm watching with a kid,then I'd rather watch the new
mario bros with a kid, but Iwould rather watch this.
If it was my own time.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
I'd rather watch this see, I I'd rather watch the new
mario bros because I felt likethat has a bit more interest as
far as like visual kind ofdisplay, um, the environments
that they have, kind of theprops that they have, the
callbacks to the classic gamesand stuff like that is a bit
more interesting than LargeThing Destroys Large City.
(47:10):
So that's just kind of where Istand.
I do prefer both of the Mariomovies to this.
I just think this is lacking alot.
If I'm sick, I'll watch it.
If not, mario movies to this, Ijust think this is just lacking
a lot.
If I'm sick, I'll watch it.
If not, you know, then I'm notwatching it.
Like it's a five With that.
(47:33):
This has been the BackseatCritics.
If you enjoyed this episode, besure to check us out.
If you find us anywhere, justlook at the Backseat Critics.
You listen to us, you applaudthe back seat critics.
You listen to us, you applaudwe found us.
Congratulations, uh, like us ifyou like us, don't like us if
you don't, whatever, we're notyour mom, and with that we out.
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