EP 445: The Mental Health System Wants You Stable. I Want You Thriving with Gabe Howard

What if the mental health diagnosis you’ve been told limits you is actually the beginning of your most extraordinary life? What if stability isn’t the ceiling, but just the foundation? What if the system telling you to “just be stable” has been setting the bar far too low?

Award-winning speaker and mental health advocate Gabe Howard reveals a truth the mental health system doesn’t want you to hear: people with serious mental illness can do more than survive. They can thrive, build careers, speak at Oxford University, and lead badass lives.

The Dreams That Bipolar Disorder Interrupted

Gabe Howard grew up dreaming of becoming a tech mogul, the next Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. It was the mid-90s, the early days of the internet, and he wanted to be an entrepreneur in the public eye. He even considered stand-up comedy. Then bipolar disorder happened. Psychosis happened. Suicidality happened. He was committed to a psychiatric hospital, and everything came crashing down.

When he finally reached recovery, Gabe was angry and traumatised. He searched desperately for resources to help himself and his parents, but the harder he looked, the less he found. That’s when he realised something powerful: he wanted somebody to do something, and then he realised he was somebody.

He never thought advocacy would become his career. He thought he’d volunteer for his local mental health charity and maybe make a small impact. Now, he’s a Webby Award winner, hosts the Inside Bipolar and Inside Mental Health podcasts, has spoken at Oxford University and the National Press Club in Washington, DC, and wrote a book called Mental Illness is an Asshole and Other Observations.

Mental Health Is Identical to Physical Health

One of Gabe’s most powerful insights: mental health isn’t like physical health. It’s identical to physical health. Everyone has mental health, just like everyone has physical health. Most people, most of the time, have good mental health. But just like you can catch a cold or break a bone, you can experience mental health challenges.

The day after losing a loved one, no one expects you to be at your best mentally. That’s normal. Yet society treats mental health as binary: you’re either “crazy” or “perfectly fine,” with no room for the grey areas where real life actually happens.

The System Wants You Stable. Gabe Wants You Thriving.

Gabe challenges the mental health establishment’s tendency to set expectations dangerously low. Too often, people with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression are told that getting a part-time job and living in a group home means “you’re doing great.” While stability matters, it shouldn’t be the only goal.

He’s witnessed people in group homes being told they can’t work full-time or pursue their passions when the real issue is that the system is too scared of relapse to let them try. He shares the inspiring story of Rachel Starr Withers, who lives with schizophrenia yet has hiked volcanoes, appeared in Marvel films, and hosts the Inside Schizophrenia podcast. Her philosophy: “I want to lead a badass life.”

No Magic Bullet, Just Consistent Jabs

Using boxing as a metaphor, Gabe explains that recovery isn’t about one knockout punch. Everyone loves the idea of that one breakthrough moment, but most fights aren’t won that way. What wins is dozens of small jabs: maintaining sleep hygiene, taking medication as prescribed, keeping mood journals, attending therapy, exercising, eating well, and practicing radical honesty.

These seemingly small things add up to sustainable wellness. The key is consistency, not perfection.

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