Welcome to another engaging episode! This time, we're diving into our top 10 non-negotiables for relationships, whether they be romantic or platonic. Join us as we discuss the critical aspects we will no longer tolerate in any relationship.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Music.
(00:29):
It's a champagne split. It's a champagne split. I added a song.
Yay. All right. So we have a top 10 list coming up. We know you love a top 10 list. We all do.
So our top 10 list tonight is what are our top 10 non-negotiables for relationships,
either romantic or platonic, like with friends or lovers.
(00:51):
What are the things that you will never, ever put up with again?
Okay. Who wants to be first? think disrespect okay okay that's a good one number
one disrespect i rate the fight on card.
Number two i would say i would really rather never hear someone speak down to
(01:15):
me as if i am lesser i'd like to be which kind of goes with disrespect i just want to be,
valued as a human so this is related to those i've got two big ones but so my
first one number Number three is going to be, you are not going to yell at me
or raise your voice to me. Oh, yes.
That's a good one. I'm just not going to do it. And now, now in my life,
(01:39):
when that happens, I'm like, wait, what?
Yeah. Wait, huh? Oh, yeah. So, no, I don't put up with that ever. No, I just. Yep.
Yep. Got that. Had that happen to me about a month ago, and that was it. Nope. Yeah.
Yeah, it's. No contact. Nope. We're not going to talk to each other like that.
That was it. All right. Number four, Beth.
(02:00):
Oh, gosh. Honesty. If you can't tell the truth, if you tell a little white lie
and you can't tell the truth, that's not a big one.
Well, that's it's a trigger point for me, too. And it's a weird thing.
I have like a sixth sense when I think somebody is not being completely honest.
I don't do the whole Robert De Niro truth test. Hold your hands.
(02:25):
I can kind of tell when somebody's not really telling the truth or the whole truth.
And it makes me put them in a separate column. Like I'm not dealing with them.
Okay. Number five is really sort of what I really don't want to accept from myself moving forward.
(02:47):
I want to make sure that if I meet someone who shows me who they are, that I believe them.
And that I don't continue to try and believe who they showed me they were in the beginning.
I don't try every time they show me that they really are not into me or they
do not want to be friends or more with me.
(03:09):
That I look at that and go recognize it for what it is and go ahead and walk away.
Because I torture myself by not recognizing that. Are we going to call that recognizing red flags?
Recognize it well there's one thing i can recognize a red
flag but whether i actually then turn dry
and turn it into a green flag is a completely different thing
(03:31):
so i'm saying that not only will i recognize the
red flag but i will not turn it into a green
flag and i will walk away yeah
good job all right number six non-negotiable is
cheating Oh,
(04:13):
that should have higher up in the list. that should have higher up in the list.
Many years ago i know that about myself now i'm way too loyal i'm a scorpio way too loyal.
So number seven is i cannot be
with someone who is not genuinely kind
a kind spirit yes do you know that's what my stepdad says is the most important
thing you can choose in a partner is somebody who's kind okay that's great like
(04:38):
on and i think a lot of times i gave people passes is because of the situation
or because of this or because of that.
But really, if they're in those situations and they can't be kind, that's a huge problem.
I'd say that bad moods and kindness are two different things.
Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? And you just have to recognize that everybody's
(04:58):
human. But like in important situations, if you're not kind.
Well, even in everyday things, people that aren't kind to a waiter,
aren't kind to a, you know, a person serving or in that role.
It's not going to be good at home either. They're not going to be kind. Yeah. True.
All right. So number eight, I would say that I do not ever want to be with or
(05:23):
have a relationship in any form with someone who chooses to only see the worst of me.
Assume the worst of me instead of the best of me. Giving you the benefit of the doubt.
Yeah. You know what I mean? That I just, that's a big one. Mm-hmm.
Number nine, this has been an issue in friendships and in romantic relationships,
(05:49):
but that I'm in a situation with you and comfortable with you that I can articulate
what my needs are and that you can hear that, too.
I mean, it's like a boundary issue, I think. You know what I mean?
That you can say. This is how I'm feeling.
And instead of having their feelings hurt, that they can hear you,
acknowledge what you've said. And even if they have to take a minute,
they're not lashing out at you.
(06:11):
Right. Because that's really healthy.
And I really strive to do that for other people, too. Yes.
Okay, number 10. I want to be around people in friendships, whatever other relationship,
in a loving relationship with someone that has a generous heart.
(06:32):
Like comes at things from a point of service to others.
Or, you know, that just goes back to if you're willing to go the extra mile for somebody.
I've been in relationships where that was not a good thing.
I think what I've heard you say for number 10 is that you would prefer to not
be with someone who is very selfish. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
(06:56):
I can't tolerate that. If I can say it the other way around. I can't tolerate that.
And I know that people are different and their levels of giving are different.
Different but with when you're with somebody and you're a giver and you try
to figure out what they want before they want it and you're that kind of person
and you're with somebody who just is obtuse and doesn't think about anybody
(07:20):
else and does not have a generous spirit toward anyone it is very.
You know, it's awkward. I don't know. Well, it's almost like you can't,
with someone like that, you can't, you don't know if they actually appreciate you.
That's true. You know, if you're not getting any feedback. That's true.
(07:40):
From someone who has, you know, if they don't have, if they're being selfish
and you're not getting that feedback to say, yes, I care about you. That's true.
So, all right. Well, I have an 11. Oh, good. Oh, good.
This might be a good topper. or I want to be around fun, fun-loving people who want to do fun things.
Yes. You know what I mean? Who, like, look at life and go, what's the next adventure I can have?
(08:03):
And don't look at life and go, how can I make this hard for everybody else?
Yeah. Yes. And there are many people like that.
I know. I didn't realize that. But they're also, I think they're fearful.
I think there are people who fear, who have a little bit
of fear of stepping beyond their comfort zone
for the sake of adventure yeah or
(08:23):
but it's just a matter of like not bringing it
down yes you know i mean like it's easy it's
easy to revel in your drama or pit you know throw a pity party it it can be
more difficult to go i'm gonna have the best time i can but then once you get
there it's so much better i agree well how about this for number 12 no negative
(08:47):
energy yeah Yeah, no negative energy.
Because there are those, when you said, you know, the Debbie Downers,
that negative energy is just.
I mean, it can suck the life out of you. Yeah. Oh, it can.
It can ruin a day. It can make you not want to be around people that, I mean, truly.
(09:08):
Yeah, negative Nellies are hard. Yes.
Especially, I don't know, I feel like I, and I don't know if y'all feel the same way,
but being around someone who is on the negative side of things all the time
makes it really hard for me to be around them or to even enjoy my day because
it kind of pulls me back into the trauma that I had experienced.
(09:29):
It's not the exact same or anything, but it just, it throws me back onto eggshells. Yeah.
You know, and I have made a commitment not to be there anymore.
It just makes me not want.
Yeah. It makes me want to get out of that situation. Yes. It makes me want to
put on my tennis shoes and run.
I'm not talking about when somebody is going through something painful.
No. That's the point. No, no. I mean the pity parties or the like.
(09:52):
Constant. I get that. yeah nothing's good the
day is terrible nothing's gonna happen good yeah yeah yeah it's not even i mean
eeyore is even more tolerable because you know he's having a hard time you right
no yes okay so can y'all think of another one are we good can we think think
(10:13):
we have non-negotiables.
Non-negotiable number 12 if they're
not okay with who i am like i am great
with who i am and whoever can't deal
with that doesn't get to be around me you know what i mean yes or be told or
yeah you're supposed to yes so i if i can't be authentically me then i don't
(10:34):
want it oh i thought of another one i don't know that this needs to be the last
one though so y'all need to come up with one more all right i would like especially
in a romantic relationship
to only be around people who are self-sufficient.
I'm not going to mama anybody else. I have already mama'd my three people and
a half if you want to count my ex-husband. So I'm done with that.
(10:57):
So I want a partner in life. I don't want a project in life.
Oh, that's a good one. That's a really good one. Was that 13?
We can't have 13. Ooh, 13. No, I thought that was 12. That's 13.
No, that was 13. That's not good.
Wait, say something, Beth. Say something, Beth. Let's see.
(11:17):
What have we got? Oh, we can come up with all sorts of stuff.
We prefer to be around creative people, but that's not a non-negotiable.
That's not a non-negotiable. Yeah, so that doesn't really count.
But we do prefer to be around creative. My last two partners have hated musicals,
and that's what I do for a living. Oh, my gosh. So that's it.
(11:39):
That's not a non-negotiable. I don't care about that. So time,
yes, and negative are not your time. No.
Well, how about this then? Our number 14 can be that our non-negotiable is that
the people that we truly love and spend our time with need to appreciate the arts.
Yeah. Have an appreciation for it. They don't have to be artsy or creative,
(12:00):
but they have to understand our
love for it and therefore have an appreciation, even if it's just for us.
Would y'all agree? There you go. Yes. Yes. There we go. We found another one.
14. All right. Well, let's clink. Let's clink. They're very pretty. Oh, they do clink.
Cheers. Thank y'all for joining us for Champagne Sunday. day. See you next week.
(12:27):
Music.
Music.
(00:29):
It's a champagne split. It's a champagne split. I added a song.
Yay. All right. So we have a top 10 list coming up. We know you love a top 10 list. We all do.
So our top 10 list tonight is what are our top 10 non-negotiables for relationships,
either romantic or platonic, like with friends or lovers.
(00:51):
What are the things that you will never, ever put up with again?
Okay. Who wants to be first? think disrespect okay okay that's a good one number
one disrespect i rate the fight on card.
Number two i would say i would really rather never hear someone speak down to
(01:15):
me as if i am lesser i'd like to be which kind of goes with disrespect i just want to be,
valued as a human so this is related to those i've got two big ones but so my
first one number Number three is going to be, you are not going to yell at me
or raise your voice to me. Oh, yes.
That's a good one. I'm just not going to do it. And now, now in my life,
(01:39):
when that happens, I'm like, wait, what?
Yeah. Wait, huh? Oh, yeah. So, no, I don't put up with that ever. No, I just. Yep.
Yep. Got that. Had that happen to me about a month ago, and that was it. Nope. Yeah.
Yeah, it's. No contact. Nope. We're not going to talk to each other like that.
That was it. All right. Number four, Beth.
(02:00):
Oh, gosh. Honesty. If you can't tell the truth, if you tell a little white lie
and you can't tell the truth, that's not a big one.
Well, that's it's a trigger point for me, too. And it's a weird thing.
I have like a sixth sense when I think somebody is not being completely honest.
I don't do the whole Robert De Niro truth test. Hold your hands.
(02:25):
I can kind of tell when somebody's not really telling the truth or the whole truth.
And it makes me put them in a separate column. Like I'm not dealing with them.
Okay. Number five is really sort of what I really don't want to accept from myself moving forward.
(02:47):
I want to make sure that if I meet someone who shows me who they are, that I believe them.
And that I don't continue to try and believe who they showed me they were in the beginning.
I don't try every time they show me that they really are not into me or they
do not want to be friends or more with me.
(03:09):
That I look at that and go recognize it for what it is and go ahead and walk away.
Because I torture myself by not recognizing that. Are we going to call that recognizing red flags?
Recognize it well there's one thing i can recognize a red
flag but whether i actually then turn dry
and turn it into a green flag is a completely different thing
(03:31):
so i'm saying that not only will i recognize the
red flag but i will not turn it into a green
flag and i will walk away yeah
good job all right number six non-negotiable is
cheating Oh,
(04:13):
that should have higher up in the list. that should have higher up in the list.
Many years ago i know that about myself now i'm way too loyal i'm a scorpio way too loyal.
So number seven is i cannot be
with someone who is not genuinely kind
a kind spirit yes do you know that's what my stepdad says is the most important
thing you can choose in a partner is somebody who's kind okay that's great like
(04:38):
on and i think a lot of times i gave people passes is because of the situation
or because of this or because of that.
But really, if they're in those situations and they can't be kind, that's a huge problem.
I'd say that bad moods and kindness are two different things.
Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? And you just have to recognize that everybody's
(04:58):
human. But like in important situations, if you're not kind.
Well, even in everyday things, people that aren't kind to a waiter,
aren't kind to a, you know, a person serving or in that role.
It's not going to be good at home either. They're not going to be kind. Yeah. True.
All right. So number eight, I would say that I do not ever want to be with or
(05:23):
have a relationship in any form with someone who chooses to only see the worst of me.
Assume the worst of me instead of the best of me. Giving you the benefit of the doubt.
Yeah. You know what I mean? That I just, that's a big one. Mm-hmm.
Number nine, this has been an issue in friendships and in romantic relationships,
(05:49):
but that I'm in a situation with you and comfortable with you that I can articulate
what my needs are and that you can hear that, too.
I mean, it's like a boundary issue, I think. You know what I mean?
That you can say. This is how I'm feeling.
And instead of having their feelings hurt, that they can hear you,
acknowledge what you've said. And even if they have to take a minute,
they're not lashing out at you.
(06:11):
Right. Because that's really healthy.
And I really strive to do that for other people, too. Yes.
Okay, number 10. I want to be around people in friendships, whatever other relationship,
in a loving relationship with someone that has a generous heart.
(06:32):
Like comes at things from a point of service to others.
Or, you know, that just goes back to if you're willing to go the extra mile for somebody.
I've been in relationships where that was not a good thing.
I think what I've heard you say for number 10 is that you would prefer to not
be with someone who is very selfish. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
(06:56):
I can't tolerate that. If I can say it the other way around. I can't tolerate that.
And I know that people are different and their levels of giving are different.
Different but with when you're with somebody and you're a giver and you try
to figure out what they want before they want it and you're that kind of person
and you're with somebody who just is obtuse and doesn't think about anybody
(07:20):
else and does not have a generous spirit toward anyone it is very.
You know, it's awkward. I don't know. Well, it's almost like you can't,
with someone like that, you can't, you don't know if they actually appreciate you.
That's true. You know, if you're not getting any feedback. That's true.
(07:40):
From someone who has, you know, if they don't have, if they're being selfish
and you're not getting that feedback to say, yes, I care about you. That's true.
So, all right. Well, I have an 11. Oh, good. Oh, good.
This might be a good topper. or I want to be around fun, fun-loving people who want to do fun things.
Yes. You know what I mean? Who, like, look at life and go, what's the next adventure I can have?
(08:03):
And don't look at life and go, how can I make this hard for everybody else?
Yeah. Yes. And there are many people like that.
I know. I didn't realize that. But they're also, I think they're fearful.
I think there are people who fear, who have a little bit
of fear of stepping beyond their comfort zone
for the sake of adventure yeah or
(08:23):
but it's just a matter of like not bringing it
down yes you know i mean like it's easy it's
easy to revel in your drama or pit you know throw a pity party it it can be
more difficult to go i'm gonna have the best time i can but then once you get
there it's so much better i agree well how about this for number 12 no negative
(08:47):
energy yeah Yeah, no negative energy.
Because there are those, when you said, you know, the Debbie Downers,
that negative energy is just.
I mean, it can suck the life out of you. Yeah. Oh, it can.
It can ruin a day. It can make you not want to be around people that, I mean, truly.
(09:08):
Yeah, negative Nellies are hard. Yes.
Especially, I don't know, I feel like I, and I don't know if y'all feel the same way,
but being around someone who is on the negative side of things all the time
makes it really hard for me to be around them or to even enjoy my day because
it kind of pulls me back into the trauma that I had experienced.
(09:29):
It's not the exact same or anything, but it just, it throws me back onto eggshells. Yeah.
You know, and I have made a commitment not to be there anymore.
It just makes me not want.
Yeah. It makes me want to get out of that situation. Yes. It makes me want to
put on my tennis shoes and run.
I'm not talking about when somebody is going through something painful.
No. That's the point. No, no. I mean the pity parties or the like.
(09:52):
Constant. I get that. yeah nothing's good the
day is terrible nothing's gonna happen good yeah yeah yeah it's not even i mean
eeyore is even more tolerable because you know he's having a hard time you right
no yes okay so can y'all think of another one are we good can we think think
(10:13):
we have non-negotiables.
Non-negotiable number 12 if they're
not okay with who i am like i am great
with who i am and whoever can't deal
with that doesn't get to be around me you know what i mean yes or be told or
yeah you're supposed to yes so i if i can't be authentically me then i don't
(10:34):
want it oh i thought of another one i don't know that this needs to be the last
one though so y'all need to come up with one more all right i would like especially
in a romantic relationship
to only be around people who are self-sufficient.
I'm not going to mama anybody else. I have already mama'd my three people and
a half if you want to count my ex-husband. So I'm done with that.
(10:57):
So I want a partner in life. I don't want a project in life.
Oh, that's a good one. That's a really good one. Was that 13?
We can't have 13. Ooh, 13. No, I thought that was 12. That's 13.
No, that was 13. That's not good.
Wait, say something, Beth. Say something, Beth. Let's see.
(11:17):
What have we got? Oh, we can come up with all sorts of stuff.
We prefer to be around creative people, but that's not a non-negotiable.
That's not a non-negotiable. Yeah, so that doesn't really count.
But we do prefer to be around creative. My last two partners have hated musicals,
and that's what I do for a living. Oh, my gosh. So that's it.
(11:39):
That's not a non-negotiable. I don't care about that. So time,
yes, and negative are not your time. No.
Well, how about this then? Our number 14 can be that our non-negotiable is that
the people that we truly love and spend our time with need to appreciate the arts.
Yeah. Have an appreciation for it. They don't have to be artsy or creative,
(12:00):
but they have to understand our
love for it and therefore have an appreciation, even if it's just for us.
Would y'all agree? There you go. Yes. Yes. There we go. We found another one.
14. All right. Well, let's clink. Let's clink. They're very pretty. Oh, they do clink.
Cheers. Thank y'all for joining us for Champagne Sunday. day. See you next week.
(12:27):
Music.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.