Episode 124 - Beats (2019) - The Culture Swally

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
[Music]

(00:15):
Hello and welcome to the Culture Swally, a podcast dedicated to Scottish news and pop culture.
My name is Nicky and I'm joined as always by the man who once called me an authoritarian
and he doesn't respect my massive bell end. It's Greg! How are you today buddy?
I'm very well, I did wonder what your intro would be this week after watching the movie.

(00:37):
Yeah, as I say, I didn't want to do anything too harsh and I didn't want to land you in it or anything.
Although I'm sure we're going to do a good job of doing that to ourselves later on.
So, stay tuned listeners. But yeah, I just thought, you know, just sneak that in.
But how are you buddy? How's everything going? It's been so strange because the last episode

(00:58):
it was like, it's been ages since I've spoken to you but we're actually recording this
a week after the last one because of schedule and stuff so it's just sick of the sight, you know.
But no, and how's things? Things are good. Yeah, all good. So, I'm not been up too much
since I last spoke to you. I've just part from upsetting my wife but I seem to have

(01:20):
come out on the other side of that one. But yeah, you know, all as well, your car, which is very nice.
It was, it's not fine. The engine is only two years old and the engine like came on today so I need
to take it back tomorrow. So, they plug it in and they tell me they're sure it's just the, the
old computer thing and they'll reset it and it'll be okay. So, a little computer thing. Yeah, well,

(01:41):
yeah, it's apparently I'm paraphrasing, obviously. But yeah, no things are fine,
how are things with you? Yeah, all good. All good. Can't complain, everything's been all right.
The sun is shining finally. Yeah, absolutely. It's going to get up to a whopping 19 degrees
over the next few days, Greg. So, that's perfect. That's perfect. Yeah, it's perfect. Absolutely,

(02:02):
perfect. It's been quite nice actually because I was at last weekend. We spent, it was, it was
really nice. It was only about 15, 16 degrees on the Saturday but it spent like most of the day
outside, like went to a market and then went and sat outside at a bar, a few class away and then just
roaming around outside and on the Sunday morning I got up and I looked to the mirror and I was like,

(02:26):
fuck, I've caught up at the sun, like because I do catch the sun quite well. And I went to my improv class
and one of the guys was like, fuck, hell, have you been away on holiday? And I was like, no, I was just
walking around yesterday. Jesus, you really got the sun. So, yeah, it was, yeah, oh, good. We didn't call
you Jimmy Suntan in the Midnight Walkies for nothing, did we? That's very true. Yes, that's very true.

(02:49):
So, my poem shone for nippin' into the sunbed shops occasionally. So, that was, yes.
That was perhaps one of the reasons why. But, yeah, no, everything else has been good.
Yeah, I haven't been up to anything else exciting but looking forward, I mean, basically it's
livin' a week. So, with any spare time, I really had was editing wildroes which will be coming

(03:12):
tomorrow and watching what we're going to be talking about today and making my notes. So, it's been,
it's been all good and buying tenants water jugs online. Yeah, well, it's a, they're
shortly speaking, it's a tenants bar water jug, isn't it? A bar water jug, yeah, I think it's
the guys, the guys, that's what you would have called it back in the day. I am, I had a look on,

(03:34):
that inspired me and I had a look on Vintage and you have no idea how much merchandise you can get,
tenants super. And I was tempted, honestly, wait, I have a look, there's some fucking
bomber jackets and stuff that are really quite cool but I cannot bring myself to buy them because
obviously the colors are red, white and blue. So, I can't wait it but they're, they're quite

(03:59):
fucking smart actually and they're cheap as well. Like, just, it's just a, like a blue bomber jacket,
like, with the tenants, the tea, I mean, tenants super under it. It's, they're lovely. You should
buy one for your next holiday to Italy. You'd be well quoted then. Genuinely, I saw as well a
tenants super napkin dispenser for eight euros and I thought, do I buy that and put it on my table?

(04:24):
And then I've always got, you know, now, because when I went in dinner, I kept the napkins
in the drawer, put them out and stuff, like, just have a little tenants super napkin dispenser there
and I thought, it's maybe a bit much. Yeah, I think you're in a pretty happy relationship, I
thought you wanted to do anything to check the price. Yeah, that's true. Well, what else tenants have

(04:46):
you bought this? But, but this wonderful McEwan's export ice bucket, which, yeah, I've commissioned
somebody to do an McEwan's blue's brothers black and white mural on my bathroom. Well, that's not bad,
actually, that's not bad at all. I did see on, we talk a lot about tattoos and stuff on this. I did see

(05:08):
a post on Reddit of a guy who got a can of iron, brew tattooed in his arm, right? And on his wrist,
like where the watch would be, he got a tonnex tea cake and someone and it was red and flesh
colored and people were like, that's lovely. Obviously, a wrapped tonnex tea cake and someone said,

(05:28):
that's lovely, but obviously, you know, sun's going to get into that and where it is, it's really
going to fade and it's going to look like a pro lap stars hole. That's so happening. I think if
I tattooed that well, it doesn't do that. That's what I do. I don't know, I don't think so. But,
yeah, I find that amusing and then someone posted a photo and said, you're behind this legend.

(05:53):
And it was a guy waiting for a train wearing a t-shirt and on the back of his arm, he had a big red tee.
I think I've seen a few tattoos like that. I've spoken in the podcast before, like this,
you know, I don't think I could be ever, it could definitely be that committed to like a food or
drink that I would need to have it tattooed on my body somewhere. So I love it so much.

(06:16):
Because I would have to get like a plate of macaroni cheese tattooed in my arm and I'd
do the correct cunt. Yeah, that might look a little bit odd. I don't know how to do that.
That would sure hopefully years, you know? Yeah, yeah, not sure. Never mind, but there you go. There's some
food for thought. Okay, right, the jokes will get better folks. I promise. Okay, right.

(06:40):
Shall we have a look at what's been happening in Scotland over the last couple of weeks, Greg?
Cheer the jingle. Hello, this is the Outdoor Heavily's Broadcasting Co-operation and here is what's
been going on in the new. Okay, Greg, what have you seen first this week you'd like to share with me

(07:04):
and our lovely listeners? Well, before I get into my story, because like I only got my new stories
today, I don't know why. I waived it to the last minute, but fortunately there were some good ones
that I've made a pick from, but I was reading this sort of case against the Celtic Boys Club. They
Celtic have apparently agreed to settle like a seven figure song against the victims. And I was

(07:28):
reading the timeline of the story, you know what I mean? And it goes straight back to the 70s
when the alarm was first raised and because of the time and all that, nothing was really done
into Adam Brazil, sort of came out in 1996 and told the paper so he'd been abused. But you know,
like it feels like this guy tour, but has set up the Boys Club in the late 60s with a sole purpose

(07:55):
of non-syn young boys, you know what I mean? And got away with it for fucking years at slight
shocking. Yeah, yeah, really is. Apollon. But anyway, I'm going to talk about Easter eggs.
It's all Celtic associated, I guess. Yeah, I still, yeah, still a little bit of religion in there.
So my first story, first I thought this might be a full story, but I was able to verify it just

(08:22):
before we started recording and it isn't, I think goodness. But the headline comes from the daily record
on the second of April, which is today that they were recording. And the headline reads "Scott's MP"
just, before I read the headline, just think of everything that's going on in the UK at the moment.
And you know, you might even start to think to yourself, what would a priority list look like for

(08:43):
the people that represent us, right? The headline reads "Scott's MP fights to stop Easter eggs getting
smaller." Oh, come on. "Get smaller and more expensive amid shrinkflation." So this is a Scottish
Labour MP, Belier McDougall, who's fighting to stop Easter eggs and getting smaller and more expensive.
If he wants to force companies to clearly label when they make their products smaller, he's the MP for

(09:08):
East Renn for sure, in the Glasgow area. He's tabling the shrinkflation, labelling,
building the House of Commons this week. The shrinkflation is when well-known brands were just the wait
or size of a product while keeping the price at the same or even increasing it. McDougall
hits out at chocolate makers for changing from Easter eggs to smaller, flat ovids. So I've seen

(09:33):
these. I like sort of oval-shaped chocolate bars, I guess, would be the easiest thing to describe to
me as. The Labour MP told the records, "Inflation might be falling, but shrinkflation is very much still
with us." These companies are treating us like fools. On Easter morning, there will be a lot of

(09:54):
scurred families when they open the Easter eggs and discover that they're not egg-shaped anymore.
This is the latest example of shrinkflation where companies rip off consumers by making a product
smaller, without being honest about it with their customers. Currently they can get away with
shrinkflation because the rules aren't clear enough. If they were forced to label clearly when they

(10:19):
shrink their products, consumers could make an informed choice to take the money elsewhere.
According to an investigation by which, Easter egg prices have risen by as much as 50% compared to
last year, whereas the price of chocolate has risen by 16.5% in a year. This is much bigger than the 4.4%

(10:40):
rise in the cost of supermarket for the drink. The wholesale cost of chocolate has hit record highs
because of a fall in global coca production, which has been driven by unusually warm weather,
which said an 80-ounce pouch. I saw an 80-gram pouch. I'll go on to ounces later. I've done a bit of film.
An 80-gram pouch of a Terry's chocolate orange mini-eggs cost 99 pence and liddle in 2024.

(11:07):
But now it weighs 70 grams and it costs £1.35, which is a net rise of 56%.
I mean, with the witch investigation found that a twix white chocolate Easter egg at Tesco had
increased from £5 to £6 from last year, but it had also shrunk from £316 to £258. That's a rise of 47%

(11:29):
in terms of price per 100 grams. And a five pack of mixed 200 grams,
cabbary cream eggs sold at Morrison's increased from £2.62 to £4.
And Nestle Kittcatch onky milk is definitely done their homework here. And Nestle Kittcatch onky milk
chocolate Easter egg stayed at the same price that the supermarket, but was reduced from £100.9

(11:51):
to £110, making it 17% more expensive per 100 grams. McDougall said when a product becomes
smaller, you get less for your money. But duh, but it's not clearly labeled and there's a lack of
transparency to it. They're not breaking any rules by doing that and that for me is the problem.
We should have clearer rules on labelling when a product gets smaller so that you know what you're

(12:13):
getting for your money. I'm introducing into power them and a bill on shrinkflation labelling to
try and tackle that and make clearer what the rules are. So what do you think, Nikki? Do you think
that these companies are treating us like fools? I just feel like a fool, an absolute fool,
I'm being taken for a mug here. Oh yeah, I mean of course it is kind of true in terms that yes,

(12:38):
things have gotten smaller. Of course, prices have gone up, it's the same with anything, but this is
just the age old. I mean it is true though, we always say like have Maris Boris gotten smaller,
yeah they have. And it's the age thing of like no it's just your hands have gotten bigger.
That's what I've always thought. I've always thought that because people always
where they go, where Snickers or Marathons is where you speak a lot bigger, I'm like yeah,

(13:02):
but my hands were a lot smaller back in those days. Yeah, I think they have gotten smaller though,
if you actually compare the size and I'm sure they've probably have. Yeah, definitely
has and I think a lot of it is due to because you're not allowed, they don't sell like the king size
ones anymore today because there's not something about obesity or sugar tax maybe or they're doing

(13:26):
Dubai, you can still get you can still get king size Twix in Dubai and you can still get king size
Snickers and Maris bars because you know, which because like I guess in Dubai they feel that people
should be able to make their own decisions if they want to eat themselves into type B,
diabetes, when you've got like a private medical service and you don't have a government subsidised

(13:52):
medical service, then you know, the more people get in type two, that type B by type two diabetes,
the better. It's just good for the economy, right? Yeah, in the UK when the majority of people use
the NHS, you know, they have to try and save people from their own gluttony and keep them out of
hospital and the doctors. Yeah, there is a couple of articles basically saying, yeah, I think in the UK,

(14:15):
yeah, there's one from the BBC News, the king size Mars bar has been dethroned. It's the leader?
No, basically saying it's leaner, it's succumbed to health experts and it's gone leaner and smaller now,
so yeah, I don't know. I think this kind of, so it's probably over reacting just a little bit

(14:36):
in terms of being taken for a ride, but it's true though, I guess, things have gone smaller and you're
getting ripped off, but I don't think kids are going to be upset and be saying, oh my eggs smaller
than it was last year, are they? They're just going to be happy, they've got chocolate. And if you
noticed, because you are partial to smashing a bag of mini eggs, have you noticed that the mini eggs
are getting smaller? Well, not really, the mini eggs look seem any different to me. Cream eggs

(15:01):
seem smaller, but again, I've always just put that down to the fact that my hands are bigger. I do
like a cream egg, I do like mini eggs, although I haven't been quite as greedy with my mini egg
consumption this Easter season as I have been in the past. I've not had any for weeks, it's really
talking about it, it's really putting in a boot for a bag of mini eggs. But have you ever heard of an

(15:24):
MP being voted in because of his strong stance on confectionery shrinking fish shrink flation?
No, I've never heard of that, but I can imagine for some people that might be an important matter.
And you know, they're not worried about inflation or immigration or any of that, but knife crime,

(15:46):
poor food poverty, homelessness, nothing about that, it's all about the size of confectionery
and shrinkage. I mean shrinkage is something that is obviously a concern to a lot of males, but
no, it comes to confectionery items, no, I don't think so. I know they can the UK, they
visit, well, what we would call fizzy juice, perhaps the American cousins would call soda,

(16:10):
what are English ones would call pop, and the UK has become more expensive because of sugar taxes.
That's why I brewed change the recipe, right? Because they would eat this substituted sugar for
a sort of sweetener, but then introduced the 1912 recipe for the other bottle I get you 19 something,
right? 1901. 1901? Yeah, maybe that's it, you know, which is a bit more expensive, obviously,

(16:37):
because it's the traditional recipe, which presumably has more sugar in it than the current one.
Yeah, so you know, it's the same with all these things, you know, it's I guess the government feels
that they have to tax these indulgences that aren't very good for you because if they're if they're

(16:57):
too cheap, people no consume them and get sick and have to have fucking them's amputated or heart
transplants or yeah, I guess same with alcohol and fag, so it's cigarette since I don't have much
of, I don't smoke anymore, but I don't know how much of the 20, mild relights are in Amsterdam,
but I think in Scotland, the, the UK rather, I don't think you're getting much change out of 20

(17:20):
equipment. Yeah, I haven't bought a pack of cigarettes in a very long time, I think, I think they're
about 1250 now here, right? Okay, which still cheaper than the UK, but still I wouldn't be paying
12 euro 50 for a packet of cigarettes, no way. No, it's very, especially if you're spoken to any
ID. Yeah, that's what, you're speaking at like 150, quite a week more than 200, quite a week. Do

(17:41):
you know the week rather? Yeah, too much money, so good luck to Blair. Let's see, I don't think
Starmer's getting anything to worry about in terms of having these leadership challenged from
the MP from each Ren, but let's see if he gets these shrink-flation bill across the floor
in the House of Commons. So that's my first story on this episode, which your story this week,

(18:03):
your first story? My first story is from the Scottish Sun this week Greg, and it's also about a
counsellor. It's the headline is sleeve flag. An SMP counsellor was branded "rab-c-nespit" after he
appeared to wear a vest to a council meeting. Drew Miller 74, dialed into the licensing board
hearing with a sleeveless white top-on. Viewers watching the livestream were stunned by his get-up

(18:28):
and compared him to the outspoken comedy character. One spectator said, "Given the date, I thought
it was an April Fool at first. As I know dress code for this sort of thing, the last thing you'd
expect to see at an official council meeting. Everyone else seemed to have made a bit of an effort
and put on a sh*t and die, even if they were at home, but at least he was comfortable."

(18:50):
Drew appeared on screen for the Highland Council meeting with a landscape of sky as his background.
At one point he seemed to be stretching and stuck his arms up in the air as he listened to the other
contributors. He never mentioned his unusual attire and didn't think about where he was dialing in
from during the session. No one else raised the issue either. At one point he weighed in on an

(19:12):
application for an Aldi store. He said, "I wish Aldi would come and open a supermarket on Sky,
but Councilor Miller denied he was waiting a vest and claimed it was a t-shirt."
He said he went for the casual option because he's a way on holiday, but he still wanted to be
involved. Councilor Miller said, "I was wearing a t-shirt. I'm a turkey on my holidays. I was on my

(19:35):
balcony while attending the committee, as I don't like to miss committee meetings. So sorry,
I'm no rap scene, but I said, "I don't own a vest." And as a picture of Councilor Drew Miller on the call,
he's clearly wearing a vest, like clearly wearing a vest. Unless his t-shirt has flesh colored arms

(19:58):
and make it look like a vest, he's definitely wearing a white vest. Drew represents Sky and Rassie
for the SNP. He was a Lib Dem counsellor in the area for 25 years before he was caught up in a
race route and accused of sharing anti-Islamic material. He resigned from the party before a probe
concluded and lost his seat in 2017. At the time he told the BBC that he didn't think he'd done

(20:23):
anything wrong. He later joined the SNP and was elected into the seat. So there you go, he wore a
vest to his council meeting. I'm sorry Drew, you're 100% wearing a vest in this. It's not a
string vest, but it's still just a standard white vest that he's wearing.
Ever worn anything inappropriate to a meeting, Greg, or turned up in a vest?

(20:45):
Not in camera, you know, I'm maybe like, if they'd turn locked down, I wouldn't put like a
shirt and tie on if I was in a team's call, but I would probably put like a smart poodle top on,
but if the camera tilted down, you know, could just be sitting there in my boxers potentially?
Could be, could be, or could be, or to, or to, or to, or command, though. Okay, I sort of respect him

(21:08):
about because he's on his holidays, but he's committing Zip. He's, well, then on the call. Exactly.
Then I switched to camera on. I'm just going to get back to the exit. He's turned up, he's on the call.
He's taking part in the council meeting. He's chipping in, I wish I'd either open sky,
and yeah, he's just taking part. He's on his holidays in a balcony, but yeah, he's definitely wearing a
vest, but I agree. Camera, maybe you should have an off, you know, there's a lot worse things have

(21:33):
been done on a, on a team's or Zoom call over the last few years that have made the papers and stuff.
Yeah, I think give Drew a break. It's just that council meeting. It's nothing that CDS really.
Yeah, well, good for him. I'm glad that he's, I'm glad that he is committed to his, his,
the councilors have constituencies. I'm excited to. Yeah, I guess he does. And I've no idea of what his

(21:57):
opinions are on Easter eggs though, but given his previous, um, sharing event, yes, I'm
it with T2, I'm sure he's all four Easter. Yeah, thank you. Probably does. Uh, so yes,
but we'll see. I don't know if he'll be campaigning to see if an Audi opens up in sky and what they'll
be pricing their Easter eggs at. But there we go. That's Drew in his vest. I'm sure they'll be

(22:21):
competitive. They price the final world. I'm sure they'll be with that, with a cheeky bit of
branding on there as well. I'm sure yes, they definitely will be and have something, uh,
yes, that flirts with copyright law, but just gets away with it. I'm positive they will.
Okay, well, so if you've seen this week, well, as I mentioned, I thought my last story might have
been a April Fools, uh, I thought that it wasn't, but I don't have a list that was in the day,

(22:45):
the record yesterday of the best Scotland's best April Fools day hoaxes over the years.
Not a great one. So from fake footballers to medical plants,
Scots of fallen victim to plenty of convincing pranks on April the first. So Tuesday marked April Fools
day, which is easily the silliest holiday of the year. Not, not a holiday, just a day, just a day, just a

(23:08):
day. Every year on April the first people all over the world partake in silly pranks with the aim
of tricking or deceiving others. Most of the time the hoaxies are all in good fun. Sometimes
though, the pranks are so convincing that hundreds, if not thousands of people, are convinced that
they are real. Scotland is certainly no stranger to this phenomena and over the years there have

(23:29):
been plenty of April Fools day hoaxies that have filled many Scots. Experts at the Museum of Hoaxes.
That's a great place. I'd love to go there. Say that again, the Museum of Hoaxes
have compiled a list of some of the most notable Scottish April Fools day pranks that have
taken place going all the way back to 1972, from supposedly magic plants to the Loch Ness crocodile

(23:56):
is easy to see why they have all become so notorious. So number one, the body of Nessay found in
1972 newspapers across the Globe reported that the dead body of the Loch Ness monster had been
discovered. According to the reports, staff at Yorkshire's Fomingo Park Zoo, who had been investigating
Loch Ness for evidence of Nessay's existence, found the body of the legendary beast floating in the

(24:20):
water. Initial reports revealed that the carcass weighed a ton and a half and measured 15 and a
half feet in length. The experts reported they loaded it into a van and attempted to transport it
back to the Mingo Park Zoo. Though were stopped by a local police who cited a 1933 act of
Parliament that prohibited the removal of unidentified creatures from Loch Ness.

(24:44):
The police then took the supposed body of Nessay to Dunfermlin for further examination.
It quickly became clear that it was not the Loch Ness monster, but a bull elephant seal from the
South Atlantic. Another one is out there not all Nessy based these. The other one, Loch Ness
footprints 1992, Scots in 1992 were shocked when naturalist David Bellany stated that he had

(25:07):
discovered gigantic footprints along the shore of Loch Ness. According to him, it was proof that the
iconic monster was a dinosaur. It wasn't long before the announcement spread that wildfire even
appearing on the front page of the daily record, unfortunately, no thing was a marketing gimmick
to promote a new chocolate biscuit called dinosaurs. The major Scottish April Fools Day

(25:29):
hoax of 1995 occurred when the Glasgow Herald reported on a supposed energy-saving miracle,
heat generating plants. The plants, which had the scientific name of solar, complexest amerikanis,
were said to have been imported from Venezuela. According to the ports, one plant alone could
output as much heat as a two kilowatt electric fire. It was even said that placing the plants around

(25:54):
the house could eliminate the need for this actual heating system. The Scandinavian botanist
responsible for discovering these hot air producers was Olaf Vipro, which of your age of the
age of his name, of course, should get April Fools Day. In 2003, then manager of Rangers Football
Club Alex McLeish revealed that he signed 17-year-old Turkish player Yardus Apalpho in a £5 million deal.

(26:20):
While many newspapers reported the signing as a fact, it was all fake, and of course the name Yardus
Apalpho is an anagram of April Fools Day. That same year that in Rinescudia reported an
opposition to supposed plans to construct the six feet fence around sections of Loch Ness,
the purpose of the fence was said to be to protect locals in the Loch Ness Monster. The report

(26:43):
stated the provis condemned proposed European health and safety legislation that requires the
separation of wild animals from humans. Nessy is not a wild animal, he has never bitten or attacked
anyone, he declared. Many people enjoy the Loch Ness area, and the authorities should include a
suitable gate to a little access to the Loch. I am prepared to use a Loch at my own risk.

(27:06):
Ellen McLeish, the landlord, Dorisyn, agreed with the provis, and said she would provide a
stalk of this flavour forms that lit in. And then the final Scottish Major, or rather, yeah,
Scottish Major Scottish Apalpho's Day Hoax occurred in 2007 when a news article claiming that
a crocodile had been spotted in Loch Ness began circulating online. According to the article,

(27:29):
the creature was seen wading in the water near the dip of Flaura viewpoint. The report stated that
reptile was believed to be from southern Florida, and drifted along the path of the Atlantic Gulf
Stream. It also suggested that the crock might have been a pet of an irresponsible scot who
released it into the Loch after being able to look after the animal. A really good Apalpho's Day

(27:50):
prank that I remember, and remember my Papa showed me it when I was quite young, was,
and then probably the record, because that was the people he got, and there were a story claiming
that tenants were making Lager Flavor crisps. Oh, now at the time, obviously, that's ridiculous.
But Lager Flavor crisps in 2025 are not a big leap of imagination because you get all kinds of

(28:13):
wild flavoured crisps, like scroll flavor and all sorts of mad stuff, don't you? Yeah, I could definitely
see that becoming a thing. Yeah. Wow, I don't remember that. My favourite one was must have been
2002. I remember, because I remember exactly where I was and I read it. I was in the library at uni,

(28:34):
and it was in the Scottish sun, and it took me a while to twig that it was April Fool's Day.
I didn't realise, and it was a fun page. And it was a confession from the Proclaimers,
Charlie and Craig, saying that they weren't twins, and in fact, they weren't actually brothers,

(28:54):
they weren't related at all, and it had just been a gimmick they'd been doing for the last 20
years. I remember being this going, "Oh my God, this is incredible." Like, fucking hell,
the Proclaimers aren't even brothers. Before I twigged off, fuck, it's April the first.
I did, yeah, there were always some good ones, the time that I arrived. I did, I think, the Sun,

(29:19):
yesterday, went with Nicholas Sturgeon, was deciding to relaunch herself, and she was a pop career.
She was going to, and she'd recorded her debut album, and it was going to come out later this year.
And then once she read the article properly, it was like, "Yeah, she think she could rival Taylor Swift."
Okay, see this as a joke then, is it? I didn't see she was

(29:45):
those a suggestion that she might be trying to get a comedy career going, because she did a sort of,
a sort of in conversation to Heather with Jenny Godley's daughter, Ashley Stony. And obviously,
Jenny Godley was really successful at doing those sort of lockdown voiceovers, yeah, over Nicholas Sturgeon,
which Sturgeon apparently took in the humour that it was intended to be done in, you know what I mean?

(30:08):
A suggestion that she might be trying to embark on a comedy career, but I can't see that.
Well, I'd say she just needs to get a little schoolboy uniform. We read that. I currently hear partner.
And off she goes, "So we bit like Fred West."
And she's sorry, it's the cranky survival.

(30:32):
Well, thank him. Yeah, be perfect.
Let's try and out for some light entertainment at the moment. She could start in a,
perhaps, a sort of play about the cranky's life and times. So, I'd just be interesting to see how
they tackle the swinging, that's what it is. Yeah, I think that would have to be an adult's only play,
wouldn't it? Yeah, I mean, only adults are going to go and see it, let's be honest.

(30:53):
That's true. Yeah, that's very true. Yeah.
Yeah, the crankies, let's hope at them for, oh, probably a week.
It's been only a week. They're often on my mind to crankies.
Yeah, I was going through my record, so then they came across my Christmas present,
so it's been a minute. Not been as long as that since I thought of it. Have you played that yet?

(31:18):
I've played that before Christmas. Oh, did you? Yeah, I don't think I'll play it again.
It's more for the novelty part, you know. Oh, well, yeah, because I'm cute old April Fools in
Scotland. Wonderful. Yeah, good. Well, there we go. So, that's my second and final story of this
week. So, I'm eager to go on to our film. So, what's your next story this week?

(31:39):
My second story is from Edinburgh Live this week, Greg, and I know we speak about food a lot, but
I just, I like this kind of thing. And it's an American tourist in Edinburgh who sparked
fierce debate over Scottish delicacies. An American tourist in Edinburgh set out to sample some Scottish
cuisine, but locals had strong opinions. Kalani, a paranormal investigator and food influencer,

(32:04):
that's a hell of a double act, isn't it? Was in the capital checking out the ghost tours and
restaurants. He stopped off at landies on Northbridge and gave a couple of delicacies, a whirl.
He tried a Scotch egg, a pizza crunch, and a battered Mars bar. His followers in Edinburgh were
quick to comment, confident that his choices weren't common choices for us Scots, and that they

(32:28):
didn't know anyone who ate like that. Kalani said, "We're here in Edinburgh on the Royal Mile
to try out a new fish and chip-shap, landies. So, we ordered a few different things today,
a black pudding Scotch egg." That sounds fucking lovely. A battered headache, a pizza crunch,
and a deep fried Mars bar. This is going to be a very Scottish review. He samples the Scotch egg first,

(32:53):
which Kalani seems to be a fan of. He added, "If you like black pudding, you're going to love this."
I would think so, Kalani. "He then goes in for the pizza crunch," he says. "This looks a lap
better than my first attempt at a pizza crunch. It's pretty good. Would I order one of these normally?"
Probably not. It's a lot. Pizza, fried. I can see the appeal if you were drunk. It would sober you up.

(33:15):
He's then served the fish supper and gives some chippy sauce I go. Kalani adds, "We're going to use
something that only use here in Edinburgh. It's like a variation of HP, but it's more than niggery."
Chip sauce is pretty good, actually. Kalani even goes on to sample a battered Mars bar, which he
brands very sweet. After posting the clip on TikTok, his Scottish followers had some thoughts. One commented,

(33:39):
"I'm Scottish, and I don't know any Scottish person that eats pizza crunch or a fried Mars bar."
A second added, "I'm Scottish. I've lived in Edinburgh all my life, and I've never
did a deep fried Mars bar. It's just not common for us Scots." As they're posted, I don't know
anyone that eats pizza crunch. I think it's a tourist thing. So, and I've also said, I speak for

(34:02):
all Scots when I say we don't eat deep fried Mars bars or deep fried pizza. However, not everyone
was in agreement. One response reads, "You can't really speak for all Scots. I know plenty who
loves these things." Me included. Whilst a final person added, "We don't fry everything. I'd say
this is a drunk delicacy. Nobody eats a pizza crunch sober." If you ever had a pizza crunch Greg?

(34:23):
No. I mean, I've seen a, people do buy in Scotland because they're often in the sort of,
they can have hot window in the chippy. So, they don't put them in there and as you pour by in them.
You know what I mean? But, I love pizza, but I couldn't have a fucking deep fried pizza. That just
is terrific. And obviously, we've discussed some never had a deep fried Mars bar. Although, I did

(34:46):
watch a video, I think it was an Instagram of like two Edinburgh, two regards effectively, and they
were laughing and saying how they'd never had a deep fried Mars bar before. So, they went and had one,
and ate it and they were like, "Holy shit, this is delicious. This is really good." But yeah,
I'd never had that, but a black pudding scot jig, that sounds fucking lovely. I mean, I've tried

(35:10):
deep fried ice cream. And it should be really nice. This day, deep fried ice cream is lovely.
But I've never had a deep fried Mars bar. I can imagine if it's done properly, it's probably quite nice.
Do you believe the debate that most Scottish people don't eat that kind of thing? I mean, I...
Yes, I would say so. I would say so. I mean, most Scottish people probably don't, you know what I mean?

(35:32):
But, somewhere, I'm sure. What's your... Yeah, what's your go-to-word? Are you like a roll in chips,
don't you? Well, yeah, they'll ask a couple of years, I do like roll in chips from the blue
the good with a sort of vinegar. But, if I was having the cab meal from the chip here, probably go for
a sausage supper. That's not... Just because I find the fish supper a bit too much these days, you know what I mean?

(35:54):
Yeah. I would split a fish supper with somebody. That's split a fish supper with you. Oh, thanks.
It's been a week. I wouldn't be able to eat like a whole fish just too much.
Yeah, I don't know what, that's been a long time since I've, I guess, the last time... Yeah,
a fish supper. And, I mean, prior to that, it was always a smoked sausage supper or a mince pie supper.

(36:17):
I would have, but... Or a haggis supper, for some things? Yeah, yeah. I mean, partial to a haggis supper.
Obviously, I can't have any of those things now, so I guess it would be a fish supper I would have.
Or, I mean, in Glasgow, if we had a pie supper, it would probably be a mutton pie supper. Yeah,
which I do like, but you could be careful, because like, if it's a good quality mutton pie, then it's

(36:39):
good, but quite often they're not... It'll be the cheapest one, you know what I mean? It'll be like,
yeah, shitty back-shoot bakery, and it's just, it's just got, it's like, chucked in the fryer.
But, yeah, like, I'm, oh, I've started fancy it. It's been so long since I had a good, a good chippy
like, apart, that, that rolling chips that I had in Glasgow last summer, was a last time. Yeah,
yeah, really, I'm talking about that, it has made me really hungry now. Yeah, I really needed,

(37:02):
I really needed it as well, so I think I were like four or five pints of ten, and no lunch.
So I really needed it, I really needed it in me. Yeah, yeah, it was a safer, it definitely
was. Yeah, I really fancy-s-fucking-chippy chips now, no, never mind. What to do, what to do? But anyway,
yes, that is our paranormal investigator who has sampled some Scottish delicacies that Scots

(37:27):
don't read eat. Okay, well, I guess that wraps up the news. I think we're both desperate to go on
to what we're going to be talking about today, so let's have a little word from our sponsors.
[Music]

(38:00):
It comes home, it comes home, a boat again, time to go, and when you're ready, go for dinner,
[Music]
So, on the last episode, we covered Wild Rose, which by the time you hear this, will have been available

(38:24):
for a bit two weeks, and it was my choice, which means that the bottle spins back around to you,
why don't you introduce this week's movie? Thanks, Greg, well, I wanted to keep a musical theme going,
which I knew you were a little bit scared of when I mentioned musical, keeping it going,
and I wanted to keep a kind of era in a way, so we've just moved from 2018 to 2019 with today's film,

(38:47):
however, it's not set in 2019. Starting Christian Ortega, Lorne Mcdonald,
Laura Fraser and Brian Ferguson, we are talking about the 2019 film Beats. Directed by Brian Welsh,
the film is set in the summer of 1994. John O' and Spanner are best mates, but John O''s family
are moving to a new town for a better life, leaving Spanner behind. In pursuit of adventure and escape,

(39:12):
they head out on one last night to an illegal rave to have a night to remember. Part coming of
Age Drama, part love story, part political commentary, you're unsure if you'd seen this before
when we spoke on the last episode, Greg, had you actually seen Beats before? So, I feel like I've
seen films which tell a very similar story before, however, I hadn't seen Beats before, no, this is

(39:39):
the first time I've seen that. Do you know what? I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. It was good fun.
You know, I don't think there's necessarily anything, all that original in there, but, you know,
they're similarly to wild rose, nothing that, nothing that similar in there, but, you know, the cast
and the direction and everything made it enjoyable and made and made a lot of it original, and I

(40:04):
felt the same way about Beats as well. I thought it was, it was really good fun. I thought that
did a really good job of sort of capturing the era, you know, it brought back a few memories and
stuff, not always good ones. But, yeah, no, really, really good. It was really good fun to watch.

(40:24):
How about you, had you seen it before? No, no, I hadn't seen it before. It was one of those things.
I was aware of it. And, right, I think I have to admit, I was probably put off watching it a little
bit because initially because I thought it was going to be quite rave and dance music heavy. Yeah.
And, I don't know why that, which is, it's not really my thing, however, it is, but it's not that way,

(40:46):
that, so, and then of course, I've been putting it off for the last couple of years as I do with a
lot of Scottish stuff because I think, ah, we'll do that on the pod one day, I'll save it for then. Like,
I'd, I'll watch it so I'm fresh, but, but here we are. But, yeah, I didn't expect this film to be so
fucking funny and so engrossing, but also like, so tender and, and fresh. Like, part of me is kicking

(41:09):
myself or not watching it sooner, but I've, I've glad I did. I'm really glad I get to discuss this with you.
Yeah, I really enjoyed the film. It had me engaged so much and, you know, it's great because it's
only just over like an hour and a half long, which is perfect for us, but it's, I always think it's
always a good sign when you're starting a film and you see it's a co-production of the BBC and the BFI.

(41:32):
And you think, all right, that's, that's a mark of quality usually. Yeah, you know, you're in for a good
time when you, when you're watching this. And, yeah, I just, I was just so engrossed, I absolutely
loved it. And I, I can't take credit for this. I did read this online when someone said it's
basically like a Scottish foot loose in terms of because they're obviously banning brave culture.

(41:54):
No, but, you know, it's, it's sort of set in fact, you know, the criminal justice bill, which,
before it became the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act, you know, it was very, it was very
sort of controversial. And well, what I liked about the script is it's very honest about the fact
that by the time the act came into effect, the sort of heyday of these open air illegal sort of

(42:20):
gatherings and raves, it was sort of, it was kind of coming to a bit of a natural end anyway,
because I think, you know, you started to get these kind of superclubs, you know, like an Aberdeen
We Hadamadayas although I think I don't think Ahmadias ever hosted like a big out and out sort of dance
night, you know, when you had those a few in Glasgow and in the what famous one in air and all that

(42:45):
kind of thing. So like it was sort of becoming a bit, can be corporate and the more free spirited
DJ sound system in a field in middle of nowhere. It was also coming to an end. And like, there's times
when the characters mentioned that, you know, like that seems fucking finished now anyway. And even

(43:06):
even John Owen and Spanner sort of, although it's like, especially for Spanner, it's like a fucking,
this is like a dream come true that he's got to do this, but, you know, in that moment in the car
before they go into the, they go into the the warehouse for the rave, he's like, you know, it's
fucking seems finished anyway, you know what I mean? So that, you know, I think it's a really sort of

(43:28):
honest film in a lot of ways, it doesn't, I think if it's got any sort of, if there's any sort of
indulgence in it, I think it's this sort of, and we do it. I think guys especially do it when they
sort of mythicise, um, nights out, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. This legendary night that we
had and this and that. And they, they think if the film is getting any fault, so it's, there's maybe

(43:53):
like a wee shade of that in there, you know, it's a bit indulgent in that sense, sort of like
mythicise in this amazing scene where there's, you know, probably it was, I mean, reality, it was
probably quite unpleasant, you know? Yeah, I mean, I have to admit, watch now, I was like, yeah, I
wouldn't fancy being there, but that's me. Yeah. Yeah. Mid four is, you know, looking back like,

(44:15):
oh, no, wait, that's probably if I'd been, well, I don't know, I mean, I've rang about that time,
I was, I was 13. You were the perfect age because you would have been the same age as like
John Owen Spanner, because I guess they're about 15, 16. And, you know, I dance music never really
interested me at that age. I was, I'm either listening to Pearl Jam 10 and never mind around about

(44:36):
this time. So, um, so yeah, I would have had no interest. I know there were people I went to school
with that went to raves and stuff, but I just, no interest in, in innocent like that. And, no, I
remember like when I lived, when I was, I'm a little younger. And I guess this, you know, this,
sort of dance music and house music was becoming a bit more commercialised and you started to hear

(45:00):
it in the charts. Like bands like the prodigy and alternate. And I suppose electronic to some extent
and the urban things and two unlimited, two on the belt, maybe just before two on them did.
But some of these guys started to get music in the charts. And like I was, I was always a big top 40

(45:21):
guy, you know what I mean when I was a kid, like I would, I would, if I, if I couldn't sit in my room
and listen to the top 40 then I was definitely taping it, you know what I mean, um, so I could listen to it
later. And, you know, and I did like some of that stuff, but I think part of the reason that I
liked it was, it was popular, you know what I mean? And people were talking about it, people were

(45:42):
wading like, dready t-shirts and, you know, like smart ease hoodies and stuff when we go to school,
this goes, you know, that kind of thing and it was like, well, you know, this is this sort of subculture
that's really cool and all the cool kids are into it. And I probably thought, right, I need to get
into this and like it. So they songs like the Bouncer and all that kind of thing and early prodigy

(46:07):
stuff like Charlie and whatnot. And then it's a bit older, I kind of went back to bands because that's
what I'd always liked before, you know what I mean? I don't, I was always a band guy and I kind of
came back to that and I really saw it a turn, I went through like a long period of really turning my nose
up at dance music and it probably wasn't until maybe like the two, the early, early two thousands

(46:30):
when you and I started going out together, not going out together, like boyfriend's, but going
out in a town together and getting into like a bit of a scene, which I'm sure we'll discuss in
a little bit of detail shortly. And now I would say now in 2025, I can appreciate
like a good like Danstrak, you know, like I don't, I don't dislike it in the way that I used to.

(46:54):
I mean, I don't like techno, but I like like house music and I did like some of the music on this.
You know, there was some, there was some tunes on this that I really liked. So, but yeah, I've always
said a bit of, I know, there are, our mutual friend is, I think it's pretty much 80% of what he listens to is
dance and techno music 10% the Smiths 10% Abba, right? Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, yeah, that's about right.

(47:23):
Yeah, I'd say I've never really been in it. I mean, yes, laterally with you, we would go out and it was
dance music. I was explaining this because I watched this with my girlfriend and I was trying to
explain that I was never in a dance music, apart from a certain period where I went out with you.

(47:44):
And yeah, we'll come on and talk about that later. I do remember I did have, and I've just, I've
just looked it up, I found it. I did have a tape and it came out in 1993 and it was 100% dance volume
too. So I was into a little bit of dance music and its genre is house or dub or euro house.

(48:06):
Now this was 93 so set came out like a year before this film set. I'm not sure this was really a
100% dance because just some of the songs that were on this were Mr Vane by Culture Beat,
all that she wants by Ace of Base, boom shake the room by DJ J.J.J from the Fresh Prince, Mr

(48:27):
Wendell by a rest of development. I'm sure it's fucking, it is, but it's on 100% dance.
The key to secret by Urban Cookie Collective and Too Funky by George Michael. There's three words
that I've not heard in perhaps 30 plus years is the words Urban Cookie Collective. There you go.

(48:49):
I think I've just coined a new term that that refers to you and describes you perfectly.
You are a digital hoarder. Okay.
True. Yeah, I would say. Yeah, you are. You still got a tape. You still got a tape that you
digitally saved on your computer. Oh no, no, no. Google, I remembered the tape.

(49:13):
And I googled 100% dance volume too and I recognized the cover. No, I don't still have that,
but yes, I am a digital hoarder. Like I only in what November this year got Spotify because I like
having all my music on my phone because I'm like that. And I remember saying that to someone

(49:33):
last year and they were like, does anyone do that anymore? And I'm like, yes, I do. And I like to have it.
And I got added to a Spotify account. So I have access to Spotify. I still listen to most of the
music off my phone. So yeah, I need to get more into to Spotify. But yes, I am a digital hoarder.
I still have hard drives full of films and TV shows. I don't know why because obviously I never use it

(49:59):
because I can just go on, just watch on my phone and find out where it's streaming and I find it
rather than dig out a hard drive and get a shitty copy of something that I downloaded 15 years ago.
But hey, it came in handy a couple of times for stuff on the Swally's. Yeah, I certainly has.
I've had stuff hoarded. IPTV, I've got a 24 hour, seven day a week rolling off the

(50:24):
disainting pet channel. I did not. Oh, you fucking beauty. I mean, I say that it's only about 14
months ago that I did watch every episode back to back over the course of a couple of,
probably about three weeks, but I will happily that will be my new background channel that I'll be

(50:44):
sticking on post. I'm doing something fantastic. So yeah, never really in dance music, but there was
very much a scene and I agree with you that yeah, it's commented on a few times in this film that it is
kind of the end and it is that it's a dying thing. And I think it's really great that they that they
did bring that to the forefront and of course, of the time. So as we're saying that of course,

(51:09):
this is intertwined around the criminal justice and public order act. Night of four, the outlaw of
gatherings around music wholly or predominantly characterized by the emission of a succession of
repetitive beats. That act also legalized anal sex between man and wife. That was legal up until
that point. So it wasn't all bad news then. No. So yeah, that was legal there after that act.

(51:35):
But yeah, it's this big thing coming in and it's almost that there's a rebellion and people are
rebelling against. I did like that the this is communicated through the film in terms of like radio
announcements and news footage, predominantly of Tony Blair trying to usher in new labor.
It's kind of interwoven, but it's never really mentioned or spoken about it's it's which I think

(52:00):
works the films advantage like it's almost like it's a it's giving the film a documentary element
in a way. But no one really comments or you know, look at that prick on the TV or you know, or he's
going to usher us into a new era or anything like that. It's it's not mentioned. It's just it's just
there quite a few times, which I thought was a nice little touch. Yeah, I mean, like I said before,

(52:23):
I think they do a really good job of sort of recreating the era because I don't know. I was
thinking to myself, you know, have because I used to work in Livingston where then I think it's
sort of set in Livingston. Well, they don't they sort of they refer to they'll never say West
Lothian. They don't I don't think they actually say the word Livingston. Now I was thinking, well,

(52:45):
I don't remember anywhere looking like that in Livingston because it's quite a new town and
it actually looked to be a bit more like the sort of like it's sort of not as nice parts
that come back old. I did it. So, so, so something is a bar in Edinburgh that is just launched and they
have like a fallout themed like it's a fallout themed pub, not the game, but like almost like a

(53:06):
it's themed as if what would happen if there was a nuclear fallout and of course kind of not holocaust
but like a kind of you know that kind of end of days type hub and the first comment says if you
want to die just go to Cumber and Old and I was like, sorry, no offense. But yeah, you're right.
It does say no, I don't. It does it does kind of set that tone really well. I think you're right.

(53:32):
And I guess the black and white element brings into that as well making it kind of a bit more gritty
in terms of things, but you're right in terms of the 94 setting, there was a lot that was really
cool in terms of the cars and the tape decks, the little radios and the one that really got me was
like all the police uniforms that just seemed to have when they're getting all their riot gear on and

(53:52):
you're like, fuck, that was all they had just like a shield and a baton. It's not, you know, an
helmet. There was no stab-proof vests or protective bar or anything or telecos, you know,
telescopic batons. It was just your, your truncin. And that was it. I'm not sure though that the police
because they're not wearing the sort of sort of breast shaped helmets that are more than some scenes.

(54:14):
I don't think, I don't know if they were wore them in Scotland. I thought they were only like
the English police that wore them. I'm not sure. Not sure. I'd be like, you know, that's a
facetious to pick a whole new detail at that anyway when, you know, like such care and attention has been
taken to recreate the era. And I suppose that you're just making it black and white just, it's not,
you know, it makes it a little bit easier to do that as well. The, I was, so a lot of Fraser is

(54:40):
probably the most famous actor in this. There was something to myself. What was the last thing we did
with a lot of Fraser, isn't it? Probably crime. Crime was true. Probably maybe. A fat, I can tell you
right now Greg, because I updated the swallowtab earlier today. Let me just find it. I think it was

(55:01):
possibly crime that we did. Time's the least tooth. My check. Laura Fraser, the last thing that we covered
with her in, oh it's quite a while ago, was the flying Scotsman. Of course. Yeah, that was last year,
wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, flying Scotsman and then prior to that, it was indeed crime series too.

(55:22):
Yeah. I mean, well, what I like about, I mean, this is, this is, you know, although it's
you mentioned the production companies earlier on, it's, you know, it's probably probably quite a
little budget film. And the fact that this is for her, this is after breaking bad, and she's come
back to do this again. I don't know if the fact that Steve and Steve and Soderbergh is

(55:45):
executive producer has probably been a draw as well. But you know, she's not, you know, the only thing
with Laura Fraser in this is she's, to me, she's sort of ever young. I don't know why, maybe because
of the fact, I've sort of grown up to an extent watching her on the TV. You know, I thought it first,
I don't know why, that she was John O's big sister. Don't ask me why I thought this, and you know,

(56:12):
it's not until Robert's, his, well, stepfather makes this, makes a little toast and he storms off
and a half and she comes up to bother him that I really realized that she's supposed to be his mum.
But, you know, that being said, I do think that Christian Ortega who plays John O and Laura Fraser,
there's enough of us, so that's sort of dark resemblance. They're both quite dark with the dark

(56:37):
hair and, you know, sort of, countenance and stuff, they sort of buy them as mother and son. Yeah, you know,
you do, you do. Speak about it in terms of budget. I don't know if it's true, but on Wikipedia,
it does say that the budget for this was only £25,000, which I find very difficult to believe. I think
it has to be more than that, surely. The fucking, the music budget alone must have been a lot more than that.

(57:02):
Yeah, completely agree. Laura Fraser is just, you know, I love Laura Fraser. I always have, I always
well. She's just wonderful and I think she's such a great actress as well. And I know what you mean,
she does seem, yeah, like ever young, it is almost like, yeah, she should be like his big sister or
something, but no, she would be the right age, you know, to be his mum. There's a, yeah, I've got a

(57:26):
really good relationship she has with him, I think, and she has got some, some cracking lines,
obviously, the scene in terms of the calling Spanner scum when he's hiding in the wardrobe.
And that's just hilarious that part when she opens the wardrobe and he's stooped there and
stained on. And you really buy the, at the end of the film to skip ahead when Spanner comes round

(57:49):
for John O'Neill and she shuts the door and then she opens it and she's like, okay, he's upstairs.
And she just flips out. She goes, take your fucking shoes off.
It's just, it's wonderful. And when she picks John up from the police station, the first thing she
does, obviously, slow works out, she's batting and running around the head. But then gets home and

(58:12):
she's concerned. And she's like, you know, did the police do this? And, you know, you find out what
happens later on. She obviously, her son, you know, family comes first in terms of, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the rubber gets, rubber gets these jortars. Anything with Laura Fraser just seems to elevate
whatever she's in. And it just just makes, you know, not that this needs elevating because the rest of the

(58:34):
cast are fantastic as well. But she was, she brings a calm to everything I feel. Laura Fraser,
like a nice calm, but authentic as well. She's just, oh, she's wonderful.
Well, I think that's why I like to so much in crime because in the first series of crime,
she is that oasis, a sort of calm for Lennox, you know, when he's off the rails a lot of the time,

(58:58):
she's, she's counselling them and everything else. And then spoilers, if you've not seen the second
series of crime, we have covered it in the poll already. But in the second series, she identified
as being one of the villains of the story. And, you know what I mean, she sort of turns from that
because if you don't, if you haven't read the book that the second series of crime is based on,

(59:21):
the long knives, you'd never see that coming with her performance. No, you know what I mean?
But then when you go back and watch it again, because obviously I watched it when it came out,
then I watched it again for the recording of the pod. There are these little sort of
tales in her performance that are really, really subtle, you know what I mean? That you only really
get when you know the twist, I suppose, and you go back and you watch, you know, it's really,

(59:44):
really masterful, really. Please, a great role, say as Alison John O's mother, I guess, Christian
Ortega as John O. I love a great performance, not someone I'm familiar with. Same as Lord MacDonald,
the Spanner, I'm not really familiar with either of them, but both deliver just an incredible,
Christian Ortega just does this wonderful kind of deer in the head lights look throughout most

(01:00:09):
of the film that it's almost like he's just watching everything go and around by him and kind of me
andering through, but it's just this almost innocent kind of look that he has and I can see why maybe
his mum and Robert think he is being led astray by Spanner and there is, you know, it is mentioned
at one point of the film that Spanner saved him a couple of times at school, probably from getting

(01:00:32):
a kicking and you know, being bullied and that's maybe why he's hanging around with him, but he's
he's not completely innocent, but he does have this innocence about him, but obviously something
a bit dark about him as well because he's you know, taking his tap-off and punching himself in the
mirror and shouting at himself. So there's obviously something not right there kind of has the,

(01:00:54):
you know, his parents are presumed divorce because we don't really hear about his dad, is that
that fix him or has something happened, but he does deliver this wonderful performance of this kind
of like I say the best way is like a rabbit in the headlights kind of look. Yeah he's, it looks
a wee bit to me like a young Jonely Miller round the face, not all the time, but in certain scenes,

(01:01:18):
you know, I just sort of get the impression that he's sort of typical frustrated to a teenage boy,
sort of torn between it wanting to be a good kid, I suppose, and do the right things and go to work
and go on at school and stuff, but also he's got his best friends occasionally leads him astray and
you know, and a lot of the time he likes being led astray, you know what I mean, he wants to rebel,

(01:01:42):
but I thought that scene when he's hitting himself, like I kind of get the feeling that he wants to be
more assertive, you know, he wants to sort of speak up and stand up for himself, but he's, you know,
he struggles to, he sort of struggles to do that, you know, and wishes he could. I think he wants to do
the right thing as well when Spanner steals his brother's money, he's very frightened and he's like,

(01:02:03):
"No, you need to be that back, you need to be that back." Yeah. And Spanner, it's just like, we're
gonna spend this, we're going to party and yeah, Jonely says, "I'm grounded." Spanner's reaction,
like, are you fucking ten like it's just wonderful terms of, Jono does want to do the right thing,
he's been told he's grounded, he's grounded, and he's just gonna go to his work, to go to his job,

(01:02:25):
and that's it, he wants to do the right thing, but I guess Spanner is leading him a straight, but
for good reason, you know, he's gonna have a good time, and he does, you can tell he kind of wants to do
it, but he's a bit unshoot about it. Yeah, for sure, you know, and then, you know, he's, when he sort of
gives in and just sort of succumbs to, right, fuck it, let's just have a good time here at this, and,

(01:02:48):
you know, it's a good performance, you know, and he's still looking out for his friend, he's obviously
got the hots for what's her name, Laura. Laura, you know, yeah, the thing that bugs me a wee bit is how
everybody calls a wee man all the time, you know, when this, you know, I sort of got the impression
that the girls supposed to be much the same age, you know, but I don't know if they call me man just

(01:03:10):
because he's weird, and everybody else, you know, basically, or he's a wee a's, that little bit younger,
I don't know. I thought I got the impression that Kat Wendy and Laura were like a couple of years older,
then yeah, maybe Spanner and Jono, yeah, I thought they were meant to be, yeah, a couple of years at least,
older. In terms of, you see, like a young Jono Lee Miller, Les from the film gives him the greatest

(01:03:30):
look alike ever, I had to pause because I was crying with laughter. My girlfriend said, I don't get a joke,
and then I showed her a photo when the shadows sat laughing, and when he just, it was not Fred Savage in
Flight of the Navigator. Oh, I thought when he said, what's less the J.K. Wonder Years? Oh, no, that's
brilliant as well, but no, it's when Les says to you, man, what do you think Flight of the Navigator?

(01:03:55):
Just fucking end it to me. But yes, the J.K. Wonder Years was fucking brilliant as well.
I forgot another flight of the Navigator. Oh, and I just burst like laughing, I was like, oh my god,
he really fucking does look like the kid from Flight of the Navigator. That stuck in my head.

(01:04:16):
Absolute brilliant, look alike. But yeah, he goes along with it. He does grow a bit of a backbone. He
backs up, he backs up, sticks up for Spanner, and then of course goes and has a wonderful night,
and he does, when he has to step up to it, a drive, he does it and becomes a fucking hero for
everyone because he's done this and gets a week, kiss off Laura later. This is a reward, I guess.

(01:04:42):
When you were that age, would you have done what John was dead with the car, would you have thought,
now I'm going to be the fucking savior and drive this car on the M.E. Even the wall of
Don is driving the car part with my stepdad and make a right count of it. I'm going to do it anyway.
I don't know, I might have done, I might have done if there were women there. Yeah, I would have

(01:05:05):
done. If I thought I could get away with it then, yeah, I would have. I did once, I didn't, I'd had
a few lessons. I was a competent enough driver, baddened past my test. And I remember my brother-in-law
had to get my sister's car back, and it was a good like half hour drive through Aberdeen, and he was

(01:05:25):
like, right, just, I need you to give me a hand, and I drove my sister's car through Aberdeen. He drove
in front of me, I drove very slowly behind him, and then we got there, and then I remember my sister
going, how did you get? Did Nicky fucking drive it? And he was like, well, yeah, I didn't have anyone else,
and it was like a Friday, and I would have been Monday before I could have got it back, but everything
was fine, but yeah, I technically, I did. If I got stopped, I'd have been fucked. So, yeah. So, yes,

(01:05:52):
so we'll answer to your question, done it before. Probably do it again. Yeah, of course, you have
to step up and be the hero, especially when his young ladies involved, and you know, that's that night,
and that, that scene, a spoiler alert, is one of the, the funniest lines, for me, of the film,
and it's Wendy, because, because demons, fucked, obviously, and can't drive, and it kind of spoils my

(01:06:16):
use of swearing award-acts, they say, it's the way of Wendy, because he's fucked it. He's actually
fucked it. He's fucked the whole thing up the arse. Wonderful. Anyway, so, John O, and of course, you
can't speak about John O without speaking about Spanner, Lord MacDonald. Spanner could be one of my

(01:06:38):
favorite characters full-time. He's just absolutely wonderful. And what a haircut. Yeah. As Robert
describes it, I mean, look at his hair. That's a crime against his heat. It's just, what? You're not
allowed to be hanging around here. Do you know where it looks like for my boss to see you fraternizing
my necks? No, you don't know him, he's all right. His vital must be brother for Christ's sex.

(01:07:01):
I but he's no criminal or that. Look at him. Look at his hair, dude.
That's a crime against his heat. You feel so much emotion for Spanner. He is obviously a horrible
home life with his brother, Fido. He think he's never going to amount to nothing. He's got nothing

(01:07:21):
going for him. And that's why he just does this and steals the money and wants to have this amazing
night. This is all he's got. And especially when he finds out that John O's leaving. Yeah.
It's just the comedy aspect of Spanner from him being on the little motorbike and driving behind
in the car is so funny. But for me, I think that it's when John O's punching himself in the

(01:07:42):
mirror and Spanner just slowly sits up like the undertaker in the bed and starts laughing. It's just
absolutely golden. And as I've said when Laura Fraser then opens the wardrobe that he's like,
ding dong. Yeah. Absolutely wonderful performance from Laura McDonald in this.
Yeah, I mean, he I was looking at him just because he's got one of those faces where you're like,

(01:08:08):
what have I seen him in? What have I seen him in it? It turned out I've not actually seen him in anything
apart from this. But he's played them if they'd rent in in a production, a transport in at the
citizens in Glasgow. I think the last big thing he was in was Bridgerton, which is the big,
sort of sexy Netflix period, dram a day, which is done really well. And he has, it's not just the

(01:08:33):
character of Spanner that's got great here. Varmig Donald's got fucking great here. Generally speaking.
Oh really? I've got here envy. Yeah, I was great great here. But yeah, he's a, he's a, he's a,
an actor, a writer and a director. And yeah, I mean, he, not, not to get in front of the awards,
but he fucking steals the show in this. Yeah. You know, like when he's being, when he's being like,

(01:08:57):
sort of silly, then playing a play fight and then playing about with John O in the more
serious scenes with his brother, with Fido, you know, particularly the scene in the kitchen.
And it's not even so much the scene, it's in what happens to him in that scene. It's more the
aftermath of it, you know, when you can tell he's, he's sort of bubbling with this frustrated

(01:09:22):
aggression. Yeah, but he doesn't want to, you know, he doesn't want to sort of, I guess, maybe he
doesn't want to stoop to his brother's level, you know what I mean? He just wants to get the fuck out
of their his revenge and his brother is to steal his money. And you know, when kind of worry about it
later, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's a really, really great performance from him. Just like every time

(01:09:44):
he's on the screen, you're just, and I found, like nothing against Christian Ortega, because he does play,
he plays John really well, but some of the scenes that he's in that more that more McDonald's isn't in,
you're kind of like, okay, just, just, just get this done so we can get back to, to Spanner,
to the Spanner show. You know what I mean? Yeah, I want Spanner back on screen. He, the great thing is

(01:10:07):
you can tell that he really cares for John O, because it's not that he's hanging around him, because he's
got no one else to hang around with it. Yeah, he genuinely does. Like when he's in the supermarket and he
sees Colin giving John O shift for stacking things, label-facing. Yeah. No, like he knows he's outside
telling him to, he's a massive felon, and he needs to tell him. And he's trying to coach him, and he

(01:10:31):
really is, again, seeing what are you 10? Again, tears rolling down my cheeks when Spanner calls
in sick for John O. Yeah. He's, he's, he's, he tells him that he's deep, it's him. It's just, absolutely
brilliant, but it's, and it's got, it's got a nice little payoff. Like, it's now, with a wonderful,

(01:10:53):
with the flowers that have been sent. Hello Colin. Hi, it's, um, it's Rob up Dunlop here. Hi,
how you doing? I, it's, um, it's about John O. Yeah, it won't be coming in today. No, it's, um, it's
pretty bad. He's, uh, he's dead. I, I went off your gutted light. Look, Adrenal talk about it. I just

(01:11:21):
wanted to, I, I, not, I'll pass that on. All right, thanks. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
What you did, I've free of fucking cycle. Going to your sicky? You just tell him I was dead.
Well, I can never go back there now. You're moving, we man. I was meant to get a transfer. All right.

(01:11:47):
I will actually fuck then. But then obviously he's taking care. And again, at wonderful, um, you
know, they have a bit of a falling out, really. But then they, they, they, they kind of come back
together and that's a beautiful scene in the car where it, it, it, it, it gives him the eki. And
it's kind of like, you know, you don't have to take it if you don't want to. And, but come on,

(01:12:09):
this can be a great night. They take it and so funny to just break that moment when he's like,
all right, I've got another one for you later on if you want to. It's like fucking brilliant light.
And he obviously goes off and has a great night. Um, he has to take the ticket for acting,
eki, that is face like, I, I wonder if he's done that before or if he just did a lot of research

(01:12:32):
in terms of what it looks like because his job was flying everywhere in eyes rolling. Next morning
comes he is so concerned for John who looking everywhere for him high and low and you really get the,
the concern for his friend. He has to find him and which leads to the beautiful part when he
brings the doorbell. And again, the funny aspect of turning around and kind of giving the thumbs

(01:12:55):
up to the three girls that are stupid opposite the front just masterful acting from, um, from Lauren.
So good. I wonder if maybe there was maybe a bit of a sort of unrequited wolf subtext between
Spanner and John O, you know, I mean, like, not maybe not maybe more on Spanner side than John

(01:13:18):
was side, you know, you know, I think with John O is just Spanner, just a really good friend to him
and although he gets him in trouble when everything else, he, you know, he's, he's may and he's his
only friend it seems and he really cares about him. But you know, that with Spanner, particularly in the
scenes and when they're, when they're at the rave and he sort of gives them like quite a tender kiss

(01:13:41):
in the lips at one point and he's like, he keeps grabbing them and kind of pulling them in for a hug
and all that sort of stuff. And then at the very end when, um, Laura, Laura Fraser let some of the
stairs to see John O when they sort of finish up by next each alone in the bed and John or
sort of gives them a hug, they sort of keeps his hand over his over them and they're when he's just sort

(01:14:02):
of going to sleep and I sort of think, you know, is, is there maybe a bit more of a subtext here?
You know, is Spanner and is Spanner and maybe got confusing feelings about John O. But then when it
comes to the what happened next that all credit scene, which I've got to say, I'm not a fan of that
I like that. I like that kind of thing. Yeah, I do. I like to know what's happened. Yeah, it's sort of

(01:14:25):
maybe burns that theory down because it sort of suggests that they after John O. moves away,
they've those touch to bump into Glasgow 10 years later, they agree that they'll, they agree that
they'll meet again next time John O's in town both knowing that they never will. And I thought,
well, why wouldn't they? You know what I mean? I don't mean to understand. Yeah, no, you're right. I
think could be that, yeah, I quite like that element. I agree there is perhaps there is a lot of

(01:14:52):
tops off and wrestling and yeah, hugging. I mean, in the rave scene, okay, the kiss, but then in
terms of hugging and touching and stuff, come on, man, we've all been there that way. Yeah, for sure.
I even said to my girlfriend, she was watching and when they're talking about loving each other

(01:15:12):
and stuff and she's like, this is so nice to see two male characters like this on screen. And I was
like, yeah, but that's what it's like, you know, I, I remember my very, very, very close friend Greg,
you know, telling me once, you know, I'd fucking lie down in traffic for you, man. And I made it.
And that's just, that's just the way it is when you're, when you're under the influence of

(01:15:38):
chemicals and dance music and that's, that's just, just how it is. But yeah, in the cold like a day,
you mean it as well, of course you do. So to be honest, I think, I think that's what I kind of liked
about that scene, about that, I don't mean that scene in the film, but that whole sort of pills and
club night sort of scene that we'd be willing to for a bit because I think if it'd been honest,

(01:16:02):
that before if we'd go out there was always a little bit of pressure, got to try and pull tonight,
you know, got to try and pull, got to try and pull, you know what I mean. And then, you know, obviously,
well, for most of us anyway, nine out of 10 times, you saw it, I go home with a bag of chips and a,
a race crispy cake out of the all night baker, which is not, which is not, you know, for this,

(01:16:24):
by the way, that's what I go home with. Maybe I bought the, I bought a little, uh, moly cup. Whereas,
on a night out like that, I never really, there was no pressure to do any of that at all, but
you were like with people who were like boys and girls who were, oh, in a similar state of
intoxication. And it was just a good time like hugging people, having fucking deep and meaningful

(01:16:49):
conversations with strangers when you're washing your hands in the toilet or, yeah, sometimes having
a bit of a vomit in a toilet when you're washing that away. You know what I mean? You know what I mean?
When I went to Ibiza, like I spent two weeks doing that and just like having like, kind of,
big chat into girls, like on the beach afterwards. And never like being like, oh, I hope she likes me

(01:17:12):
and she beats about to her hotel when I get back to me. And like, just having a really good chat
and having a bit of a cuddle with everything, then just going back to the hotel and sleeping for 14 hours.
Yeah. You know what I mean? So I guess, I guess that was probably part of the appeal because when I
stopped doing that, I was kind of right back to, like, going for a night out or a hopper, a hopper pool,

(01:17:34):
want me to nice go, blah, blah, blah, you know what I mean then? And, uh, yeah, just couldn't go out
in a good night. It is that kind of, yeah, I know what you mean. There's that kind of connection. I know
in Norwich, there was a, I used to go out most weekends and do, you know, go to dance things and
yeah, get very happy and yeah. And you're right. There was never, there was a girl I used to bump into

(01:17:58):
quite a lot at these things because you all went to the kind of the same things. Yeah. And, yeah,
every time I saw her, we would have a cuddle and have a cheeky snog, but at the end of the night,
there was never any light to come back to mind, or anything. It was just like a hug and then I'll see
you next time. Yeah, all right. And then next morning, you'd think, oh, dammit, I should have fed

(01:18:19):
my eyes, but in that moment, it doesn't hurt. It's not what it's about. It's about having this shared
experience and this shared moment and just, yeah, being all lovely. And that's, I guess, yeah,
what the film does so well. And it's true. In terms of with John and Laura, they go off, they have a
little kiss and then they come back and then you go off for your mates again. That's exactly what it was
like. And yeah, it's lovely. I think they do do that really well. Do you remember when we used to,

(01:18:44):
rub like a knuckle down each other's spine because one of us, one of us had read that it made this
come up quicker? I think it, I think that was me. I think I'm sure my mate in Norwich used to do that
and it used to work or something. I try it on you guys and you'd be looking at me like,
fucking rubbish. I've just got a sore back now. So yeah, I don't think I don't think that worked.

(01:19:07):
I remember, I remember one night, I think you and I and our mutual friend were in a school bar
and we were having a lovely time and we thought I had a bit of a three man huddle hug,
I'm getting a few boys and then our mutual friends threw up a bit on his shoes. Oh yeah, I remember that,
yeah, yeah, I remember that. Yeah, that was great. Yeah. Good morning, these those were the days,

(01:19:33):
those were the days. What are my favorite memories of those nights? It was in a school bar and I had
bumped into a girl I went to uni with and it just all happened. We'd actually had a snog on
freshers week and it started first year and then that was it. We'd never really spoken again,
don't know, but then we bumped into each other. So this was in fourth year, we was there and

(01:19:54):
we had like a massive hug and spoke and fucking put the world to rights and caught up and everything
was great and you know we should hang out more and stuff and then she just stopped and she went,
you know the gay guy from Queen and she was the gay guy from Queen and I went, what, Freddie Mercury?
Yeah, he's following me and I was like, I think he's been dead for about 10 years but yeah,

(01:20:19):
she was convinced Freddie Mercury was following her. I never got to the bone with that. I think I went
and found you and our mutual friend again and probably laughed at him being sick on his shoes.
With a great story to tell. Yes, wonderful, you never guessed this guy's. I thought it was really
good though. I loved the setting in '94 and of course the way they're finding out about the
ravens, this pirate radio station that they're listening to and I guess that's the way ravens

(01:20:42):
were organized back in the day. Nowadays it'd be over, you know, Instagram or TikTok more likely but
back in the day there was no mobile phone so I mean, well Fido has one because he's a drug dealer but
it was all done over radio or word of mouth or flyers or stuff and I think that's what, you know,
that's simpler times and it's lovely and I do like the way in terms of the DJ that they're, that

(01:21:05):
demon. I think it's very clever the way he's built up over the course of the film and then
the reveal of the character I think is very well done especially Spanner. Are you the cut from the radio?
It's, yeah, I thought it was very well done and the demon is just a bit of a, I don't know, sad
individual really in terms of the sky. I liked him better when he was a disembodied voice demon.

(01:21:28):
You know, once they've been on screen for a little while you started to get my tits a bit, they
hold the whole sort of soapbox, fashion and you know, this is like it's us against the system,
there's more of us than the bizarre lame. Yeah, we all went and I listen, I'm like,
yeah, you know, I mean, I don't know if it was maybe, you know, maybe they could different actor,

(01:21:50):
maybe potentially. He just, because he's like Ross Mann who plays demon, like no harm to him,
but is, he's pretty soft, they're spoken, you know what I mean, they, especially compared to the other
characters. Yeah, well, the characters that he is on screen with, you know, because Spanner's got quite
an accent, so do the girls, especially when they, if they're Spanner's cousin and the scenes with Les,

(01:22:17):
the drug dealer that's going out with Laura, you know, that, or that, what do they call them? That
Mancule Pido. Mancule Pido, can't. Yeah, I think I just called it a Mancule Pido later. I don't,
that's, it's, it's, John O that refers to him as a Mancule Pido when he's talking to Laura about

(01:22:38):
outside the warehouse, maybe love. You know, he just, he, he comes across, I'll be a bit like, what,
what Mark Wahlberg's character in the party would refer to as a lace curtain motherfucker.
You know, he's sort of, sort of, try to slumber a bit with the, with the rough kids, you know,

(01:22:59):
when he doesn't mean to come from that environment. No, not at all. You can tell,
this is take the piss out of him, you know, D man, his name is Derek and they do take the piss out
of him because you do get the impression he is the, this kind of posh kid that is, yeah, slumbering it
and trying to fight the system and, you know, yeah, trying to, to, to save the rave and stuff like that,

(01:23:22):
but yeah, at the end of the day he's just a, a bit of a sad individual, really. Yeah, indeed.
But, you know, it's, he's, I suppose, maybe he is, if that's by design, then maybe I've been a bit
unfair towards him, then maybe he's played that part perfectly. And the thing about the whole cast is

(01:23:43):
ironically with the exception of Christian Ortega, who is by no means like a one and done, you know, he's
in, he's in quite a few things, but the rest of the cast, they're all like, they've all got like
quite long IMD beads. I mean, I think most of the, most of the guys that are in it have appeared in
Outlander at some point, you know, and it, it made me think, I'm gonna have to pick Outlander at some

(01:24:06):
point, but I really don't have 12, I don't have 12 hours to devote to Outlander, you know what I mean?
Because I'm sure the first series is probably 12 hours, 12 episodes, I don't have enough time.
And I've watched the first episode about three times because my wife, I have tried to get into it and
sort of failed. Even though I like a lot of the cast, there's some other lander, I do like a lot of the

(01:24:29):
cast, but anyway. But yeah, most of these guys and girls have been Outlander at some point and,
you know, they're kind of getting on with like, really promising careers, not just, yeah,
Scott, not just in Scotland, but internationally. I mean, yeah, most recently, you know,
to talk about the police element that we have in the film, of course, Brian Ferguson playing Robert,

(01:24:50):
most recently he was seen as Raybus's brother in the latest adaptation of Raybus. I wondered about
Robert. He actually seems like a nice character in the beginning. You're kind of looking out for
a show. It does, you know, and exactly the same thing, though. I'm unsure about him, to be honest.
He seems like he's really looking after John, oh, he wants him to be okay. And it's not just because he's

(01:25:12):
with his mum, I think he does genuinely care about that. And okay, you know, he comes across, he tries to
give him like the glasses champagne, John, obviously knocks it back in one. But I wonder if okay, the next
time really you see him is when he's at the rave and he's got all his right gear on and he does
batter the hell out of a kid, but he realizes his John, no, no, he didn't know it was John, no, but

(01:25:37):
that still doesn't excuse his actions of doing that. He obviously feels bad when he realizes his
John, no, but would you felt bad if it was some other kid? So I genuinely don't know how we're
meant to feel about Robert. Obviously he gets dingy at the end, but yeah, I don't know, was he a nice guy?
Was it an act? Was he just, I mean, he's just doing his job you could say, but he's not, you know,

(01:26:01):
because he is using excessive force. But I don't know what are we meant to think about Robert?
I think that I think we're supposed to, what I think my supposed to think about Robert is that he is
sort of torn between, maybe that torn between, but he wants to have a successful career in the
police, you know what I mean, he wants to have that. I think he's in love with Alison, they'd be a lot

(01:26:22):
of a blazer, his Johnless mum. I think he genuinely does cater to John O and you know, and want some to
get on well, and have a good life and everything else, but I think also he allows himself to be caught up in
the, because when the police are getting ready for the, to go and break up the party, there's a bit of

(01:26:45):
sort of, it's a bit like when the guys are getting ready to go to the party, you know what I mean? They're
like, right, come on, the guy, there was a, there's a, there's a police, there's a PC monk,
Creef, the guy with the beard, he's like, right, come on, let's do this, you know what I mean? Like,
he's fired up, he's ready to get torn in. Where does they know they're going to break up a party?
They know that it's not a riot, they're going to break up, you know what I mean? So the, the likelihood is

(01:27:11):
they don't really need their batons and their helmets and their riot shields. Yeah, but they want
to go and be aggressive and break it up and you know, I think his guilt comes from he's allowed
himself to be swept up in that a little bit and it's led them to batter, like this kid who is moving
away from him anyway, you know what I mean? He wasn't threatening him, but he's got, and then I think

(01:27:36):
his guilt's extended by the way that he knows that John knows it was him, but to be fair,
John, or John, or doesn't tell his mum that Robert battered them, but the fact that it's been the police
has been enough for Alison, because she understands that, you know, Robert's devoted to his career here,
you know? So, yeah, if the police can do this to my son, I don't want to be with somebody who could

(01:27:59):
do that potentially to sort of avoid my son's age or whatever, you know what I mean? So it's never
really established if Alison finds out that Robert was the one that's this could have set, sent
John off fucking black and blue, but that, that's seen, like, you really feel it, you know, when
when the when the batons raining down on John was back, you know, it's, they don't spare you,

(01:28:22):
you really feel it, it feels, it's bristle. Yeah, yeah, really is. And I guess he is of course under
pressure by his, his sergeant wonderfully played by Stephen McColl just in a, yeah, quick, quick,
quick, yeah, nice, nice little role for, for Stephen McColl, a good, swally favourite, but yeah,
it was nice to see him there, in a bit of an elder statesman role there. Yeah, the, the moment that I

(01:28:46):
thought that, you know, it's quite arty, but as I've sure regular listeners know, I'm kind of
there for that. Just when I felt that the, the rave scene was going on a bit too long, they start
to bring a bit of colour into the thing. And obviously the, you know, the suggestion is that the only colour
in these characters' lives are when they're with the music and they're dancing and they're together

(01:29:12):
and everything, which, which, yeah, I like that. I wasn't sure why they were, why they were kind of
putting images in of like the Ravens craigs, do you work, spend the mullished and sort of
automated sort of factories and things, they're like, well, are you trying to say that 1994

(01:29:32):
represents the end of a particular way of working class life, you know, and it's coming to an end,
because I'm pretty sure that Ravens' clay craig was demolished in the 1980s. I don't think it,
I mean, I could be wrong, I could be wrong. If I am wrong, then it's fucking really clever. It's really good.
But if I'm not, let's give a wee Google here, Ravens' crey, Ravens' crey.

(01:29:57):
It still works closed in 1992. Okay, so not far up, so it was earlier in 1994, that's kind of
picking hairs, I suppose, but I just thought because it doesn't really, the film doesn't feel that
about like a social commentary, really, you know, it feels more of a story about friendship and a
particular time in his social history and a particular scene, it doesn't really feel like the

(01:30:22):
director and the writer are trying to say some profound things about, you know, the working class
or communities are lacking a thing to me. No, no, I don't think so. I think that I didn't get anything
of that element. It was just about the kind of rave culture and everything, but I wonder if those
images were to almost encompass the passing of time of the rave scene because that was taken to

(01:30:50):
account and to maybe show how things are changing or how things had changed, could be a possible way.
I did like a couple of things because one, I mean, there's not really any romance element,
obviously there's John O'Whiths with Laura, they have a little bit of a kiss, but that's kind of it,
and then it's done. I did really like, because obviously you wonder, and I did fear that is this

(01:31:14):
going to go down the route that someone's going to die from drugs at the rave? Because that would
have been an easy thing to do in a bit of a cliché. I'm glad everyone got out unscathed. What I also
liked was that you did have a bit of a fear element of this. It does mix anxiety and fear very well.
I think one example is, of course, when Demand's driving and the acid kicks in and you're kind of

(01:31:36):
fearful for the group, but what I also liked was when they're at the rave and they're having a great time,
you have this element of fear of one, the police coming, but two, phydo's coming to kill us.
Yeah, and I thought that was really well done in terms of because you are fearful of it, and of course,
that's, I think, John O'Cee's phydo before sees the police, and of course he doesn't see Spanner.

(01:31:58):
But I also liked the fact that they kind of hinted at, and it's never concluded, but that maybe
phydo is not going to kill Spanner and kick the absolute shite out of him because when he throws
the layers out the car at the end and he says, "What are we doing?" Then you do kind of think,
"Is he he's probably still going to kick the shit out of him, but he's not going to kill him?"
He's going to maybe go slightly easy on Spanner for this. Yeah, don't know, you know? It's a

(01:32:24):
hard, I agree. I like that touch. Is that sort of thing of, you know, is my fucking brother?
Realistically, what am I going to do when I catch him? When I find him, they give him a bit of a
doing, but you know, make him get the money back somehow, whatever, but you know, because there's a
little bit of a sort of resolution for phydo in the end credits when they say that he spends six

(01:32:47):
years in Bannell for assault in a policeman, and then he doesn't fall. We're all even volunteers
at a super kitchen. Yeah, so there's a bit of sort of redemption, a hint of redemption there for him.
So, yeah, I like, again, it's not a sort of cliché, and it's interesting actually because I suppose
there's maybe a bit, there might be a bit of a tendency amongst critics of a certain age to kind of

(01:33:09):
stackless film against human traffic, and I was watching a sort of clip of Danny Dyer talking about
human traffic just the other week, and he said, he said, "You know, I'm not going to do his voice,
I sure would be sure of any of those with Danny Dyer," since like I said, he said, they shot the film
two years before it was released. He said, "Well, they really had a really hard time getting it

(01:33:32):
released because there's obviously a lot of drug taken in the film." He said, "But the expectation
was, well, you can have characters taking drugs, but there needs to be some kind of moral lesson,
so somebody had, there needs to be some terrible consequence of somebody taking drugs." And like,
in human traffic, he said, "Well, the sort of consequences are, the sort of come down is,
all that was terrible, I'm never doing it again, but we all know we're doing it again next weekend."

(01:33:54):
Yeah, you know what I mean? He said, "So, about that time, which would have been,
in human traffic, about 99 or something, about that time, the kind of mid 90s, there was this expectation,
we'll, you know, train spotting shows the terrible fucking consequences of drug addiction and
taking drugs." But it also cheekily shows what a good night out you can have on a couple of pills

(01:34:18):
in London as long as you don't end up in the front seat of a car with a person who you thought was a lady.
But, you know, but this film, again, it's, you know, it's not sort of a chest beating
drugs or bad message, it's, you know, the drugs are, it's just like a pillage, and then a bit of

(01:34:42):
dancing and cuddling and sweating and stuff like that, it's not really, the film focuses on the
friendship between John Owen Spanner, it's a story about friendship and possible, you know, potential,
maybe unrequited love, maybe, and the scene and the time in history, you know? I don't think it's,

(01:35:04):
it's not a drug film or... No, no, it's definitely not. I would say it's not, there's no real message
in terms of hitting you over the head within a thing of drugs or bad or shouldn't do, there's no real
consequences, everyone survives unscathed, so to speak. So no, I don't think there is anything,

(01:35:24):
a message about that or anything, it's just about encapsulating a good time that you have with your friends
and just the love that you can share memories and share experiences with everyone. Yeah.
Yep, so no, look, I think if, well, do you have anything else to be worth mentioning about the film

(01:35:44):
before we go into the awards? I mean, the only thing to mention, of course, I mean, you've come
this far in the review, obviously, folks, so you should know by now, but released pretty much
just a month apart from this was a 2019 film called Beats, which was an Netflix film, which is
set around the hip-hop scene in Chicago. Obviously, not this film Beats, which is Black and White,

(01:36:06):
set in Scotland, but I did think that led to a bit of confusion for some people maybe trying to find it.
No, I don't really have, I mean, I absolutely love the film, I thought it was great. I think this is,
if I'd watched this when I was like 15 or something, this would be the type of film I'd stick on
heavy rotation. Yeah, it would be like, go or something like that or probably human traffic,

(01:36:31):
again, laterally, it would be something I would watch a lot and just kind of dip in and out of or have
on in the background while I was playing football manager, but it's definitely a film I would have
watched a lot and I'm really glad I watched it and I will watch it again soon, I'm sure, because I
thought it was great. Yeah, and you can find it on Daily Motion. If you put in Beats 2019, you will

(01:36:54):
scroll through four to five other things before you find it, but it's there. It's got Italian sub titles
but apart from that, it's a perfect, a perfect version of the film. It is, yeah, I didn't
watch that version, unfortunately, I actually rented it on Amazon Prime. I was good this time.
That was very good for you. Yeah, I did rent it. Okay. Well, I mean, some of our listeners might

(01:37:17):
spend all their money on Easter eggs because that's time of the year, so. Okay, so let's put Beats
through our coveted Swally Awards. So our first award, as always, is the Bobby the Barman Award for
the best pub, but as the characters are all underage, I guess, no pubs. No, no, there's no pubs.

(01:37:38):
It's all, I mean, the closest you get is they do get a carry out and walk down the street, but that's
it. There's no pubs, unless you count the little car park kind of for, it's like in a band of warehouse
where they all meet and have a carry out, but no pubs. Yeah, next award then, Patron St of the podcast,

(01:37:59):
James Cosmo Award for being in everything Scottish. I mean, there's a fairly clear winner here,
even though he's only in the film for maybe 20 seconds. It's got to be Steven McCullough.
Yes, I put Steven McCull, because he is the clear winner. If we weren't counting him, because he
has a very small role than Laura Fraser would come back up, but yeah, I went with McCullough of course,

(01:38:22):
because he's in everything. Next then, the Jake McQuillan Yartesu award. So one or two options here,
which one did you pick? I did go with Les getting smacked with the lava lamp. I thought that was a very
fitting, especially because there's Laura that smacks him with it, and I thought that was very good.
I like that scene. I chose though when Fido invites Spanner to punch him, and he does. He feels,

(01:38:50):
again, a little bit like the scene, I mean, it's not a violent film by any stretch, although there are
a couple of sort of rough and tumble moments, but I don't know if it's the sound effects that they
use, but they do it. It does feel, it's not like a sort of kung fu film, it does feel like a really
authentic sort of, so I really kind of felt it a bit when I'm one span, and also when Spanner punches

(01:39:17):
Les as well, before the whole lava lamp, but they also need quite real.
It does show what a cycle Fido is that he invites Spanner to punch him, Spanner punches him,
and Fido is kind of like, good lad, you know, good on you. But then when Spanner accuses him of
showing off, he decides to hold his face in front of an electric hop, he switched on, like, you're like,

(01:39:41):
okay, there's some boundaries here, what's going on? Okay, what are the rules? Next the words then
is the Francis Bagley Award for the trutus-swearing which found very difficult to isolate one here,
what did you both find? I think I was 36 uses of the seawort in this film, which is pretty good.
I did like, are you that kind on the radio? LeCunt off the radio? Yes, I am that kind, but

(01:40:08):
I do have to give it to the line that I mentioned earlier when Winky says, he's fucked it, he's actually
fucked it, he's fucked the whole thing up the arse. That's the clear winner. I think it might be the
first use of the seawort when Spanner is first trying to persuade John O to go to the Ravenies,

(01:40:30):
like, Revolt, Revolt, yeah, I can't. Next time would usually be the Yuen McGregor award for
being an ever for Yuen McGregor award for trutus-swearing new detail, there was no new detail in this film,
I don't think this is a moment I missed. Next archetypal Scottish moment, what did you go for for this?

(01:40:54):
A struggle to sort of find a moment, there was just a lot of phrases, particularly when they're in the
car and they're, you know, they're trying, after Deman has been judged on fit to drive by the rest of
the group and, you know, they're asking Spanner, you know, can you drive and he's like, no, I can go

(01:41:16):
a motorbike, but, you know, and it's such a Scottish expression, I can go a, can you go a motorbike?
I can go a motorbike, I can go a pushbike, I can't go a motorbike, you know, it's such a Scottish
expression, what did you do with it? You go for it. There were so many lines, like you say, Spanner's
got a few that I was like, okay, that's good, that's good. And then I went, the moment I went for it,

(01:41:38):
it's actually the second last song of the film, I've kind of cheated maybe a little bit. The second
last track is kind of a dance track, obviously, and it's by a Scottish composer and DJ called Hudson
Mohawk and the title of the track is "Scud Books". Excellent. So when I saw that, I thought, I'm

(01:42:00):
having that "Scud Books". That's the archetypal Scottish moment. Great music for a song. Very good,
indeed. And then the next, I'm fine with the wards, and I think we both, I think it's probably quite
clear to the listeners who were both chosen for this, but the Big Tam Awards, the Sean Connory Awards,
who wins their beats for you? Yeah, definitely Lauren McDonald,

(01:42:23):
who's Spanner, he's just such a good character, so funny, but not just a one-dimensional character.
He really has empathy. You feel really sorry for him when he's sitting, he just wants to eat his
cocoa pops, and there's no milk and then Fido spits in his cocoa pops and he's like, he's like,

(01:42:43):
"Oh, I fucking love cocoa pops, I'm thinking I love cocoa pops as well, but the wife won't buy them."
There's quite a few points where he says something that breaks the tension,
says a funny line, and as I say, he's dead, he's just, oh, he's so good.

(01:43:04):
So he's really like, perhaps in maybe a stealthy way, or perhaps in a really overt way,
he's really like the heart of the film. Yeah, you know? Yeah, he really is. He really is, and you really
feel for him and you wonder, you know, because that's the thing, we don't really know what happened to him
after, okay, we know 10 years later he bumps into John O'Neal and Glasgow, but how's he doing?

(01:43:26):
And we don't know, but he's the complete heart of the film and wonderful, wonderful character,
and just, yeah, Lauren McDonald, great performance, really loved him. Yeah, be interesting,
to check, be interesting if they ever, if they did that film sort of checking back in the spanner,
and, you know, but they get a completely different film, you know what I mean, same character,

(01:43:47):
but they just kind of grown up and making his way, you know? Because the thing is about the way he plays him,
you never get the feeling that, well, I never said, I certainly never got the feeling that once John O'Neal
goes off to, you know, modern suburbia that spanner's going to be off the rails and fun.
They can never, you never get that impression from the character, you get the impression that he's

(01:44:07):
going to, he's going to be heartbroken to not see his best mate all the time, but there's never a feeling
that, well, he's all that spanner's got, even though we don't see a great deal more of what spanner has,
you never get the, you never get the feeling that John O'Neal is all that spanner's got, and that,
you know, he's smart enough, and essentially a good guy really, that you'll be all right, you know?

(01:44:31):
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think you'll be okay.
Because I think the fact that he's not out dealing for his brother, when he could be, you know,
and it's never suggested whether his brother's never asked him or spanner's just has just used to do it,
that's never, it's left a bit ambiguous, but yeah, it'd be interesting to catch up with spanner and see
what he's up to. Yeah, it would be. Yeah, great character, and yeah, a wonderful film, so that is

(01:44:56):
2019 film beats. You won't find another film with the more gratuitous use of the word manky.
Which is the great word.
So, beats was my choice Greg, so it's going to be your choice of what we're going to be talking about
on the next episode of The Culture Swally. So why do you tell us what we're going to be talking about?

(01:45:19):
Well, since it's impossible to have too much "Vodafrazer" in your life, I've gone for another
"Vodafrazer" and it's a TV miniseries list time made by the BBC in 2016, a four-parter,
directed by Jamie Douglas Starring, Juliet Stevenson, by Fave Deutert of Yours, Joanne Van der Ham,

(01:45:41):
"Vodafrazer" Joe Dempsey, John Lynch and Julie Graeme, one of us. A small Scottish community is left
devastated when a young couple are brutally murdered when they return from their honeymoon. So it's
a four-parter. I've told you where you can find it. Before we started recording. It was a Netflix had it

(01:46:02):
on there, so you may, if you're looking for it, you might find it under a different name,
the different name is Retribution. Okay, great. I'm just having a look at the cast because I'd
never heard of this and it has got an incredible Gary Lewis in it, a Christian Ortega's in it as well.
Yeah, well that's how I came across it. Yeah, and Kate Dickie, Oh, Adrian Edminson as well,

(01:46:23):
fantastic. Making this valley debut. Yes, certainly will be. Okay, one of us. I will look forward to
watching that on the next episode of the Swally. Thank you very much, Greg. All right, well, thank you
very much for listening. Everyone hope you enjoyed the show. If you'd like to get in touch with us,
you can you can email us, cultureswally@gmail.com with anything you'd like us to cover,

(01:46:45):
any news stories you've seen, or if you just want to drop us a line and say hello,
please feel free. You can follow us on Instagram @cultureswallypod, we're on the cesspit known as X
@swallypod and we have a wonderful website as well, don't we, Greg? We do. You can find us at
cultureswally.com, which has got links to all their episodes. I think we've been brought to

(01:47:05):
a hundred and nearly 140 episodes at this stage. This is one, two, four as well. Yeah, they are
130 episodes at this stage. There's links to all of them on the website plus some articles and blog
posts about Scottish media. Come and check us out. Fantastic, right. Oh, thank you very much, Greg. Are

(01:47:26):
you off to do anything exciting this evening? I'm off to seriously considering, I think there's a bag
of chips in the freezer. I'm seriously considering flinging a handphone to the ear fryer and having
a selfie for a chip but a for a go to beds. Oh, lovely. That sounds good. That sounds very nice. I've
no idea. I haven't got anything in for dinner. I need to go and get something and I don't know what

(01:47:50):
to have, but yeah, that's probably going to be something quite unhealthy actually after our conversation.
Good for you. You and your life. Yeah. Exactly. I'd quite like to live for a slightly longer time
and have something healthy, but never mind. All right, wonderful. Well, thank you very much and I'll
see you next time. See you next time. Great. What's up, man? He's shuffling his tits off.

(01:48:12):
Can you hear you can't strive?
He's fucked it. He's actually just fucked the whole hang up the ass.
[Music]

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Episode 124 - Beats (2019)

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