Episode 127 - Ae Fond Kiss (2004) - The Culture Swally

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
[Music]

(00:15):
Hello and welcome to the Culture Swally, a podcast dedicated to Scottish News and Pop culture.
My name is Nicky and I'm joined as always by the man who has often been called
a well-known drunken fornicator. It's Greg! How are you today, buddy?
Have I been called a well-known drunken fornicator for a long long time?

(00:38):
That's a bit of a blow. Yeah, but Rabbie Burns hasn't been called that for a long time,
you would think. Yeah. I mean, at least I've not been called the fornicator part of it for a long time.
The fornicator. You look at a lot of people don't use the word fornicator very much these days.
Well, it was a Catholic school, isn't it? And of course it was 20 years ago.

(00:58):
We're going to be talking about who was filmed, so but yes, fornicator.
Maybe they do and maybe they can sort of more religious or closely do use the word fornicator
and fornication a lot. Well, I've got babies come from, so.
And I mean, obviously we're already talking about the film. We'll be talking about later, but
she is quite a well-to-do woman at a Catholic school. She's not going to say like that, "Shagger,

(01:24):
mad shagger." Robbie Burns, that mad shagger.
No, she's going to say that mad, "Mad Raymond drunken shagger, the Raymond drunken shagger."
That'll be Burns. That's worse things to have in your grave stone.
Well, that's, yeah, that's very true actually. It's definitely worse. How are you?

(01:46):
Man, how's things? Yeah, okay, yeah, not bad. I mean, I think it might be relocating to,
this is since we started the podcast. For me, this is my third little studio since we started,
so we started back in 2020. It's actually, it's a year. I was looking back through our Instagram

(02:07):
today. It's a year since the 100th episode. Oh, wow, is it really Jesus? Yeah, I know, a phone
by, but when we started in 2020, I was still living in Q8 when I was recording the podcast at my
sort of dining table in a living room with all the echo that that supplied.
And then obviously, they moved to Dubai in 2020. In the first house, this is our second house in

(02:32):
Dubai, and it looks like I'm going to move into a third house in a few weeks because our landlord
or landlord wants to sell. Don't know where the house, I'm not seen, a house that I'm going to
be living in yet. I mean, I could hold his feet to the fire because he's got to give me a year's
formal notice and he hasn't, but it has been a decent landlord, so I don't want to be, you know,

(02:52):
I'm happy to meet him in the middle. And he's also said that it'll pay for all our expenses and
everything that we need, that we'll incur by moving. So, you know, it is what it is. You know,
yourself from living here, that's just part of the trials and tribulations of living in Dubai.
It's not all goabber. I would say, yeah, I mean, you can't say failure than that if he's willing to

(03:13):
pay the moving costs and whatnot. Yeah. Yeah. What can you do? I mean, yeah, you can kick up a fuss.
Like I remember when I lived there, there was a lot of time that would happen. People would be like,
no, no, legally, can't do that. Do you really want to stay there for another year with a
pissed off landlord? Like it's better to just be, nah, I'm off to you later. So, yeah, it's difficult.

(03:34):
What to do? This is it. I think I could be moving for my BBC, like, Kins BBC,
broom cupboard, that event here to, it's probably another quite similar room. It's
be quite honest, just somewhere else in Dubai. Are you looking at staying in the same area and stuff?
For, yeah, my wife is, she's keen to, I mean, I, I mean, I, I have a quite happy to just move

(03:57):
into an apartment, but I'm outvoted three to one on that, but I'll know two to one on that score. My
oldest daughter doesn't give a fuck where we live. I quote, but as long as she can, as long as she's not
too far from the Metro and she can live her footless and fancy free teenage girl life, she doesn't care
where we live, but the other two, my wife and my youngest daughter are quite keen to do nothing in

(04:20):
an apartment. So, yeah, that's gonna, we're up against it. It's all, it's all GCSE exams and
menopause in our house at the moment, so it's a fucking laugh every day.
Oh, sorry, petty menopause, which is, it's like, that's the, that's the appetizer before the, the main course.
Okay, great. I'm not educated enough to delve into that conversation.

(04:44):
Neither am I, neither am I, but you're going to Japan in a few days, you know, but be excited.
I am, I'm very excited, yeah. So, we're recording this on the Friday. I leave on Tuesday, yeah.
So, I need to get this episode edited. Come out, two weeks yesterday. Yeah, so the next episode
we're recording, I'll be back from Japan. So, don't worry listeners, we've got you covered, we'll be, yeah.

(05:08):
We're not this again episode. I need to hastily edit two episodes though. But yeah, I'm, yeah, I'm
really excited. I'm really looking forward to it. It's been like, my, I think, it's still a teenager,
like Tokyo has been like my dream destination and I can't actually quite believe I'm going. I'm
so excited. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, it's got a lot of nice exciting stuff planned, like,

(05:30):
obviously doing a lot of the, the touristy stuff as well. But yeah, just doing some, some nice stuff.
I've got tickets for like semi-finals of the Grand Sumo wrestling championship and stuff. And,
yeah, really looking forward to it. It's going to be, it's going to be good. So, I've got a free,
I thought I've mentioned in the podcast, but when I went to New York a few weeks ago, I was,
I had, I paid for a business class ticket and I was downgraded. And my compensation is a free

(05:54):
ticket to New York, like business class round trip. Yeah, which I've got a year to use. And I was trying
to get Emirates to give me another one, just by complaining that that wasn't really good enough.
And they were only giving me what I paid for, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, they're not giving me another
ticket. But what they have said is that you don't have to use that ticket for New York. You can use it

(06:14):
for any zone five country. Oh, so Japan is a zone five country. If it wasn't for the fact, if it wasn't
for the fact that I live with three women who are fucking desperate to go to Japan, I'd probably fly
over and just meet you for a lunch one day and then fly back and then just have a bit of a
ball about Japan and then then then come back. But unfortunately, that might spill the end of my

(06:37):
marriage. So I won't, I won't be doing that. You do want to waste your fee ticket for like a quick
nipple over just to meet me for some sushi and then fly back. So, but, yeah, I know I'm a ball
around Japan for a little bit, but yeah. Meet you for some sushi, a duet, buy some transformers,
fly back. I mean, other zone five countries are countries like Australia and New Zealand

(06:58):
and stuff. But I think what I'm going to do with that ticket, my daughter has planned, she's so,
my daughter is doing a GCSEs month, my oldest daughter. And this summer, she's planned a sort of a
tour of the British Isles to visit like friends and family and well-wishers. But obviously, she's
got no fucking money. Well, I need to pay for it. And I was going to see if I could, I don't think

(07:24):
Scotland is a zone five country with them or it's, but I was going to see if they might let me move
the tip. I think they probably will. I might just put it in my daughter's name and then she can fly back
and business class and their own to Glasgow. Yeah, that will save me, so that will save me about
fucking £2,000 or something like that. I'm sure they would because obviously it's a kind of lesser

(07:45):
so-yeah, so they're losing less money. So yeah, you would think so, but yeah, well good luck with that.
See how it goes. Yeah, indeed. Indeed. Okay, right. Well, yes, so I'm just hastily getting ready
and everything, so I'm almost done, but I'm going to pack tomorrow whilst I'm editing the podcast. But
before I do all that, we need to record the podcast. So we're doing these. Shall we have a look at

(08:10):
what's been happening in Scotland over the last couple of weeks? Cue the jingle.
Hello, this is the out there, have a nice broadcasting configuration. And here is what's been going on
in the new. Okay, Greg, what have you seen in the last couple of weeks in Scotland that you'd

(08:32):
like to share with me and our lovely listeners? Well, this one is hot off the press today in the
Scottish Sun. The headline needs where have you been? German discoverer Scott's brown bin in his
home village a thousand miles away. And the councils say they are, they say they are baffled by
the far travel trash can. This is Christian Kuni, I think, I think promising it right. It was stunned

(08:56):
to spot the North Airshire Council could trash container outside his office. He's posing for a picture
with a bin. He posted on a group that he's in, I looks like a Facebook post called Dalmen's Club
and these post reads, "A Weighly bin from the North Airshire Council appears in front of my company
in the middle of Germany. I'm confused and curious what might be the story behind it.

(09:20):
The sub-witted in North Airshire region missing his Weighly bin M41 size 11W,
wearing usually army surplus boots, no bananas as we are in these Germany. The most banana
like is a cucumber. I think that probably meant something different and maybe that's like
high humour in German and it's just been translated and it's gone over our heads." So it says,

(09:41):
"Now the businessman who has visited Scotland and recognised a local authority name is keen to know
how it ended up in tiny, veer now in the state of Thurinjia, Thurinjia." He took a pic of the
recycling aid and posted it on social media to see if anyone could shed any light on the mystery.
Christian said his investigations led to a waste disposal firm that sends bins to residents.

(10:05):
He added, "The colours blue, like the UK, but there was a shortage, so locals got colour
combinations like a brown bin with a blue lid, so blue must be the recycling colour in Germany as
well as it is in the UK." All right, okay. "But they've been short on blue bins, so they just put a
blue lid on." But North Airshire Council offered a no-turnative theory. A spokesperson said, "This

(10:28):
German street is definitely not part of our regular collection route, so we're very curious as to
how it ended up here." We can say that this bin was manufactured more than 20 years ago by a German
company called SSI Shafer, so it may have been a spare by the manufacturer, which found its way into
local use. As bins are the property of residents, it's also possible that it could have been taken

(10:53):
to Germany by a former resident moving to the area, who may have been used to hide the store items in
the move. I suspect that's highly, highly unlikely. However, the bin ended, however the bin ended
up here, we would be delighted to find out. So, they're in lies a mystery because the thing about the bin

(11:14):
is it says North Airshire Council on it, but it's like, it's sort of stenciled on, you know, I don't
know if that would happen at the factory, would it? Would they be stenciling on the council name? I
thought the council would do that. I'm a weedy-bun-expert, obviously. I have no idea. I would have thought the
council would have put that on. Surely the bins just get delivered to the council and then the council

(11:38):
put on the North Airshire tag up. I don't know. That is indeed one hell of a mystery. I'm pleased by
that as well. So, the bins are the property of the residents, so they can effectively just keep them
and do what they want with them. I suspect that's not true. That can be true, surely. So if you can

(12:00):
move into a new house, you've got to buy the bin yourself. Maybe. I don't know. That's... Well,
weird. But I moved into my house in Glasgow, albeit this was 19 years ago now. The bins were already there.
To buy them. Nobody would move out of the house. Nobody generally has much just for a weedy bin in a house.

(12:20):
You know, it's funny. It probably would. In terms of here, for example, we don't have weedy bins here.
Well, no, some places do, but we've been on the street that we put the refuse in. But it is quite
famous here that when you leave an apartment or something, people will take the light bulbs and

(12:40):
the flooring and stuff as well. So when you move back in, it's just a shell. But thankfully, normally,
you will meet the next resident that is renting. So for example, the apartment I'm in, I bought
the flooring off the previous resident. And hopefully, when I leave here, I will sell the flooring to

(13:00):
the next resident. And therefore, because otherwise, then I've got to rip up the flooring, which is a
fucking pain in yours. But I'll do it, I'll spite, but I have to do actually. Although I didn't pay a
deposit for you, actually, so do the fuck I like. And so yeah, that's bizarre though. I can't see

(13:20):
that. The bins, but how would it have ended up? Do you think you'd say it's not plausible? It could
be that people have used it as some sort of moving device that they've been like, who's moving from
the air to a vernow in Germany, you know? You never know me. I mean, come on. How often do you
where you've moved about a fair bit as well? Yeah, I suppose. I suppose. I mean, yeah. But I've moved

(13:45):
to sort of stereotypical places. I'm not moved to like, like, something like that. I suspect that it's
been a one that's been surplus. Yeah, because made in Germany, right? Shaffer, you know, fairly is
made there. They're made there. And it's just that's how it's ended up. I don't think it's
necessarily a big mystery, you know? I do think it maybe it's some japester that worked for

(14:07):
Northearsville Council and was visiting the time and maybe went and sprayed the bin. I mean, if that's
true, I've got a lot of time for that. Yeah. A lot of time for that. Because that's kind of a lot of
thing. Yeah. So do you think? Well, it's like arched shut-houseery, which I've got a lot of time for.
Yeah. I tell you, speaking of shut-house-ery, nobody is better than shut-house-ery than high school kids,

(14:33):
right? Yeah. So it's my daughter's last year at school. And we had to go to a little mini-assembly
last week where they just sort of bid all the levers. They're doing their exams now, but that was
the last sort of proper day at school. So they had a little assembly in the room and then the kids had
to walk through the school and be kind of flagged off, you know, and then meet the parents down in the

(14:59):
in the reception. But in the reception, there's like a big sort of broad staircase. It's a bit
like a sort of amphitheater staircase where all the kids sit, journey day and stuff. So they're
leaving kids were supposed to walk down the stairs. So everybody's waiting at the bottom of the stairs,
including like a couple of the sports teams that had just come in from playing outside. So there's

(15:23):
this kid who's not a lever. And he's just, he gets to the top of the stairs before the levers all arrive,
and all the sports team just that going, "Woooo!" Because he's in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I just thought I just thought it to myself. Of course, like, kids just instinctively know when

(15:48):
someone's made a cut of it and went and draw attention to it. I just thought, "Fair play, kids.
If I was wearing a hat, I'd take it off to all of it." Yeah, that is impressive. I like that. I like that.
Oh, no, that's a good job. So yeah, so I think we'll probably solve the mystery of the
Schaefer bin, the North Asia bin, turning up in Germany. My first story for the week,

(16:09):
what's your first story? My first story is from the Scottish Sun this week, and it's a
swally-centric story, Greg. The headline is "Suits U." Cops are hunting a pervert who carried out a solo
sex act while trying on suits in a Hugo Boss changing room. A stunt staff member found the

(16:36):
vial creep in a compromising position in a cubicle after heaving bizarre noises.
The bad was said to be lying on his back, pleasuring himself while swearing one of the
upmarket brands pricey outfits at their store and becanon street Glasgow last Wednesday.
A source explained, "Let's guide come in at the shop and ask to try on some of the suits."

(17:00):
He then took them in at the change in dream, but staff became concerned by the amount of time he
was taken in there, and then he could hear him making some bizarre noises. One person decided to take
a closer look and was horrified to see him on the floor in a very odd position. He was waiting
what it was, with the other ones covering him. The guy finished what he was doing, then left the shop,

(17:26):
at which point the cops were called. Why wait until he's finished before we call the cops?
Boss suits, which have been modelled in advertising campaigns by David Beckham, cost between
£390 and £945. The football legend, 50, co-designed the Beckham Times Boss collection of
why they call it David Beckham. He's got nothing to do with this.

(17:48):
He's the wanker too, and a Hugo Boss suit. No, no, I've got why. A pro video shows Bex dubbed
Golden Balls by why Victoria is stripping off a suit. That's why they've included that.
A police Scotland spokesman said, "Office ourselves, I've carried out inquiries after a man
carried out an indecent act in a fitting room within a clothes shop."

(18:13):
Hugo Boss was asked for a comment. Yeah, so it's been a while, a wanking story, but yeah,
a guy has just got so excited in Hugo Boss over the suits that he got into the change rooms in,
carried out an indecent act in a compromising position. What did I, what did I laid down and

(18:34):
covered himself with the other suits? He must have been so turned on by the suits for some reason.
Like, it's bizarre. I don't know what the, maybe, maybe it's trying to, like, carry out,
like, some sort of political statement against capitalism or... Did Hugo Boss not also design

(18:55):
that Nazi uniforms shouldn't have worn? Yes, they did, yes. Yeah, maybe, I don't know, maybe he was trying
to, maybe, I don't know, maybe, I'd be as expect, he probably, just, just a guy who's maybe
got a few waves short of a shipwreck, really wanting to have a wank. Possibly, possibly, I don't know.
Yeah, bizarre thing. Having a wank in a changing room, I mean, that's not something I would have

(19:21):
heard fancy doing. No, certainly not. Not unless you've got locked the door. I mean, because some
changing rooms just have curtains, don't they? Just behind the curtain, find things on. Yeah, you need
a locked door if you're, you don't know if you're doing something like that. And a full door,
so no one can see your ankles. But the thing is as well, it must have been quite a big change in

(19:41):
room if he was able to lie down and I couldn't lie down in the changing room. I'm too tall. Yeah, if I
think about a lot of, I've recently been in a changing room, I was in one last week, I was trying
on Peter Jeans and yeah, I wouldn't have been able to lie down and I'm, well, you're taller than me,
but I wouldn't have been able to lie down. I mean, I suppose the, I suppose the great
I'd answer a question about this story is whether he shot his load on the suits? Well, it does say,

(20:06):
well, yeah, we don't know. It does say, finish what he was doing. He left, but it's unclear. Yeah,
the guy finished what he was doing and left the shop. It's not clear if he was, yeah, if he finished
that, if he was just edging him, it's like, what's what he does? He goes out of actually those shops
and just edges, maybe he's like, maybe he's practicing, make some sort of tantrum kicks or

(20:29):
say, he's got something like that for when he's with his girlfriend or his wife,
build this way up, something. Yeah, or his boyfriend? That's his boyfriend. Maybe he's building up,
so he's like, oh, Hugo Boss is, that gets me going, but then now I'm off to Versace to finish the job.
I'm off to Versace, but I'll just shoot my load in pre-mark.
It's easier. Yeah, I, I, I, I played the, obviously, let him finish what he was doing before they called

(20:58):
the cops. I'm sure I would have called the cops before then or, yeah, you want to have the story
of someone going, the fuck you do it? Like, surely, if you are in that situation of the shop worker,
are you going to disturb him or do you not? Or I think I'd be tempted to be like, what the fuck
are you doing? Or, you're going like through a jug of cold water over and like, you do

(21:20):
two dogs when they're shouting? You don't want to, I don't know, like, disturb him too much in case
you get an eye fool or something, or I don't know. No, it's like, it's like that scene in Orphans,
isn't it? When, uh, Steve and Nicole and, uh, what's his name, are like peeking in the window to
scare the guy, but they're delivering the Chinese and he's having a whank in a turnsen. They get

(21:41):
the, the, the, the, the Pokemon they ask for the gun in a turnsen, just shoots his load in the face.
I mean, that scene takes a bit of a dark turn, so I mean, it's funny for me. It's funny for a minute or
two, but then, you know, yeah, you definitely don't want that situation arising, but, uh, yeah, anyway.
So that is our wanker in Hugo Boss. Uh, well, so if you've seen this week, Greg, well, this is perhaps

(22:07):
a bit of a swallow-centric story, too. This is perhaps a more, uh, overt exhibition list than
our Hugo Boss boy, um, but this comes from Edinburgh Live and it reads East Lothian Pensioner,
pulled his trousers down at Wokewookick Coastal Car Park. Robert Cockburn, 77, was seen put,

(22:28):
pulling his trousers down, exposing his buttocks, not one, but two coastal car parks in East Lothian,
and pleaded guilty to conducting himself in a disorderly manner. It's a photograph of Robert.
He looks like he's very much regretting his choices. He commits, oh, he's committed
being, uh, arrested for committing a breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly

(22:50):
manner, and monitoring in a public place with his trousers down at the car parks in Long Nidry,
in East Lothian. The old-age pensioner was reported to the police following the incident on Friday,
May the 9th and spent the weekend in Custard. He spent the weekend in Custard Day for getting his
arse out of the court. Before appearing at Edinburgh Sheriff Court on Monday, uh, Cockburn of the

(23:11):
Link's view port setting, so there's somebody who's windows are getting smashed. Uh,
he pleaded guilty to the offense and was admonished and warned of his future behavior by Sheriff
Peter McCormack. Cockburn pled guilty to conducting himself in a disorderly manner, and then
pulled his trousers down, voytered in a public place with his trousers down, expose his buttocks,

(23:35):
and commit a breach of the peace at Car Park, one in Car Park to Long Nidry Benz East Lothian,
on May the 9th of this year. So, it's not a long story, but it got me thinking, right? Imagine spending
three day at the weekend in jail for getting your arse out. Yeah. I'm probably flashed my arse
at people for a laugh. I can think of it at least one occasion when I definitely did,

(23:57):
and it was in the boot of a Ford Fiesta, where they took the parcel shelf out,
because the car was dangerously overloaded, because it was the 90s, and that was
fine to do that, then. And I was troubled in the boot on a few occasions. Yeah. And there was another
car of her friends traveling behind us. I met her in a few cans. I was feeling a bit cheeky,

(24:22):
so I managed to get up and I managed to get up my honches, and I pulled my brakes down and
pressed my arse against the back, one screen mirror. But there was a laugh, everybody, the guys in
the back had a laugh behind us had a laugh, sorry, the guys in the car I was in had a laugh. No
harm done. But if the possible deterrent had been spending three days and fucking Peterhead

(24:43):
Nick for doing that, I thought twice. Yeah, it's not something you want to do. I mean, obviously,
we've spoken at length a few times before about our friend, Little John's Window, who used to
get it, but it's like, who you already said, was you? Yeah, so it's that podcast.
Was, was me. Yeah, I could have gotten to a bit of a boulder, especially because it was,

(25:06):
I was usually like a Friday night, I did it. So it would have been a weekend in the jail.
Full rest, you know, as well. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it was, it was, it was so rarely, it was
so early, it was about seven o'clock or something, was it? Was it? Was it? The sun was up.

(25:28):
It was still the sun was still up. It was early. I had in my mind it was a bit later. It was about
half eight nine or something, which is still not excusable, but I guess I don't fucking know.
It wasn't because I, I had to take her out for dinner to go to get a pass to come and meet
your boys for a few beers. Oh, yeah. And so I took it, I took it out early, so I could get her

(25:51):
up the road and then come out and join in the revelry. Yeah, I think it back. You picked like one of
the closest restaurants to her flat. You could possibly get so you can do that, drop her
bristle, a bristle five minute walk. You know your way home, love, I'm sure you can go and
search yourself out. I'll see you later. I'm off to go and meet the boys. You just walk up this

(26:14):
quiet alley next to this public car park beside the bar that opens up at like seven in the morning.
Fine. You couldn't use me using excuse at that occasion. You could have been like, oh, I'm
gonna go and give him a piece of my mind. Let me go and find them and I'm gonna give
Nicky what for for flashness bits a full restaurant. I'm furious. I'm gonna go and sort him out

(26:38):
and then come back. Stick private, stick private, stick private, getting cold those.
Oh, alright, it's our shame poor guy. Just flashness bump, but yeah, ends up in jail for three days.
That's harsh, that's really harsh. Somebody who does that, you know, I don't think jail for
three days is the best place for them, right? Cause like, I don't know, we were, I just didn't laugh

(27:01):
about it, but that was like, to make our friends laugh. Yeah, we were really, we're really young,
you know, like when I did that in the car, I was probably like 17 or 18 or something,
like really young and you wouldn't have been much older than that. You're probably like 20 or 21.
Yeah, with the whole little John's things, so like, you know, does Ag me to say that we're just
staff boys. This is an old guy, you know, maybe he's like, maybe he just, maybe he's somebody

(27:25):
at the back after him, you know, I mean, my other than putting them in the fucking jail for the weekend.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, well, I hope he's learned his lesson. I'm sure he has. Anyway,
that's poor old Robert Cotburn there. Is that, how, is that window cold, little John's? It was
the summer. Anyway, that is my second story this week. What have you got next? I just thought this was

(27:51):
a nice little teaser trailer of a story for something that we will probably be doing in the near future,
Greg. And it's from the Scottish Sun again this week. And the headline is XXXX Men. James McAvoy
has revealed he has included an X rated chant by 2000 music fans in his debut movie as a director.

(28:14):
The X-Men star told of his pride of the Glasgow crowd who shouted, "Here we, here we, here we
fucking go" during a gig scene at the city's famous Barreland Fendi. McAvoy 46 has been shooting
the true story of students Gavin Bain and Billy Boyd who filled top music bosses into believing

(28:35):
they were US rappers. Oh brilliant. Yes, I can't absolutely tell that he's directed this.
So it's titled "California Scheming" and brilliant. A great name.
Yeah, the director said, "We basically put on the gig and the guys in the movie performed as if

(28:55):
they were doing a gig. Glasgow showed up. We didn't pay them. They gave us a real big movie ending.
They gave everything. It was amazing. I felt so proud." McAvoy told Liverpool Comic Con Convention.
"There's a thing that people in Glasgow do when they go to a gig. They shout, "Here we, here we,
here we fucking go." So we have Glasgow in the film doing that. Bain and Boyd played by

(29:20):
Seamus McLean Ross and Samuel Bottomley reinvented themselves as hip hop act Sibylen in Brains
after being mocked for their Scottish assets at a US audition. They then landed a record deal,
appeared on MTV and supported M&M. That's the end of the article. There's no release date for the film.
I guess it's just been kind of filmed. So hopefully it'll be later this year or next year.

(29:44):
Very looking forward to seeing California Scheming. Yeah. However, I do have an issue with,
here we, here we, here we, here we fucking go. Thought there's the only thing more annoying than that.
And I do quite like that because I know it really annoys our mutual friend is when people are like
a dance thing and they go, "Oh, I still do that." I think so, but I do it really annoys him.

(30:10):
So I like it. I would do that if I was a, I would never be one of those things. "Oh, you would
at one there." I would have done it. If I went to that thing, you went to, for them, I would have
went, "Oh, oh, oh, oh." Even I heard me, probably. Anyway.
So yes, but yeah, here we, here we, here we fucking go. Where did that come from? Do you know?

(30:32):
Well, I don't know. I don't know. It's, I don't know. It's been these organic things that sort of
sprung out of the 1990s, I think. I think it's something that, I think it happens more that,
I don't think you get it at a concert, like, with a band. You know, you probably get it at a club night,
I think. I think, I think it feels like it's more like something that would happen there to me.
I mean, I've been at a lot of shows in Glasgow. I've never, never heard that.

(30:54):
They like to see bands, I mean, you know what I mean? Like, you know, I've spent that, that,
that big day in Glasgow Green when it was like the Chilly Peppers and Queens of the Stone Age and
the Stithers and Electric Six and the Food Fighters and all that. Like, no, I, no one did that.
That was like 2004, 2003 maybe. So I don't, I don't think I believe that it happens. Maybe,

(31:17):
I'll binge you. I'm saying that doesn't happen. Didn't happen 20 years ago. Maybe it happens now. I don't
know. I am, I obviously, I've, you know, we researched this podcast so well, Greg. I think we said in
the last episode, so we should have researched this, but I have checked on Reddit and there's a thread
come up. This is from eight years ago. Someone was at a blink, a blink one eight two gig.

(31:40):
Okay. And he said that he felt scared when Glasgow, apparently the whole crowd started chanting,
here, be fucking go. And this guy was like, I was a bit scared. Like, I thought it was going to kick off.
And people are saying, eh, it's fucking Glasgow. It's like, they've been playing Nones for 30 years.
Yeah, they should know this. So I don't know. But, yeah, someone says it does my head in every single gig

(32:06):
in this. Yeah. Well, there's a really good documentary, the BBC made the book, those two guys,
that years ago, over 10 years ago, which you probably find it on YouTube, I would imagine. So it's
well, if you haven't seen it listeners, it's well worth a watch. It's very, it's, it's, it's as mad as
it sounds. I was going to pick that at some point for this, Wally, but then I might just wait for

(32:29):
California scheming now. And then we can, we can do the, the documentary some other time. But yeah,
I'm looking forward to watching that. It's going to be great. Yeah. They wrote a book as well. Didn't
it was not like the great hit place or something? Yeah, I think that's what the documentary is called
as well. And the, the, the, the, the two guys were from Dundee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really good.
So, yeah, I'm a bit confused. The two guys are from Dundee and the two actors that are playing

(32:56):
them are Shemus McClane Ross, who is, um, oh, he was in, um, he was in Ravens. Oh, was he? Yeah.
Okay. I was in three episodes of Ramos played Jack. Okay. But that's his only credit. So,
I don't know where he's from. But Shemus sounds like a Irish name, but I'd, I'd, maybe he is, um,

(33:18):
Scotch and, um, Samuel Bottomley, who is English. Uh, my name is Abel. Uh, yeah. He's, oh, he was in
get juke, oh, he was a yearning, get juke. Um, and he's been in Taranosaur and he's been in quite a
few TV things. He was in Atley Bridge, uh, ladhood, um, and he's in, am I being unreasonable as well?

(33:41):
Okay. So, yeah. But, um, yeah. So, I look forward to that coming out in the near future,
Louis. Yeah. Here we fucking go. Um, have you seen anything else this week, Greg? Just very quick
one. So, when you left in, um, you still left in Aberdeen, you used to follow the, the dawns. Yeah.
And you would go to a way games now when you could, um, did you, did you always, but, you know,

(34:04):
is kind of part of your sort of ritual when you, if you went to a game, be at home on a way,
would be by a pie? Yeah. Yeah. Every game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would buy a pie. Um, oh, you know what?
Yes. Every home game. Um, and then I remember I did a, a way game. And then, um, I think it was,
I was an eye-brox and, um, I went to buy a pie and one of the guys that was on my support

(34:28):
response stopped me and he goes, "Don't give those country money." So, I, I didn't buy a pie after that.
So, um, fair enough. Well, I've been from a ticket, but he's like, "Don't give those country money."
So, yeah. Fair play. I mean, you know, yeah, you probably given it, you probably
given it to I brought, say to me, you probably given it to the key at the company,

(34:51):
exactly. Yeah. Well, Glasgow's best football club pie has been crowned. Oh. And it's neither one
of the old firm, uh, or the Rangers in Celtic. It's actually the Humble Partic Thistle.
Oh, okay. The best pie, yep. They were crowns last week. Only one club in Glasgow was awarded the

(35:16):
gold medal when it was Partic Thistle and it's the chicken Shazny Pie that they do there.
Looks like a bit of a curry-ish pie. It's got a curry chicken pie. Looks nice.
So, yeah, so well done, Partic Thistle. Um, come on at GFC. We're awarded a silver for their
Deluxe Staking Gravy Pie, Greening Morton, score the silver award for their Cabab Pie,

(35:37):
AirDray and Queen's Park got silver for their Scotch pies, which is a kind of,
overseas listener's about, that's what I'm mutiny, can I'm mutiny, mincey pie? Yeah.
I guess it probably gives Nicky Hartburn, like everything else. No, no, no, Scotch pie, I would always have
I mean, it's called a Potodry Pie. Yeah, you get a Potodry Pie, which is like a mutton pie,

(36:04):
yeah, or a steak pie, but I would always have a Potodry Pie. Yeah. Well, there's a,
there's a Scottish ex-pat lady who lives in Australia with a Instagram account, I think she calls
herself a roving haggis. Yes. And she put a recipe on the other week to make macaroni pies at home,

(36:24):
where she tells you it'll make the pastry, but the pastry, her recipe, it's got lard in it. And
not a lot of lard, I was going to message her and say that, "What could you use instead of lard?
with it's the work, you know, if you use butter or something like that." If you use that,
really, fill that butter with that work. It's quite fancy making them, like her recipes are good,

(36:45):
so I've made a few of her things before. Would you not want to? Wait, it's with lard? No. Why not?
Oh, yeah, I've got a 47, and I can't, I don't eat things with it, you know what, I mean, that I do,
like, I really try to, you know, I mean, I obviously, I love the food that I grew up with, and I grew up,
a lot of my life in the west coast of Scotland and Aberdeen, and both the north east of Scotland and

(37:07):
the west coast of Scotland have got fantastic junk food. They're amazing junk food. They're quite
different, like, Glasgow has great chippies and stuff like that. Aberdeen has got fantastic bakeries,
Aberdeens got some good chippies as well, right, enough, but they've got fantastic bakeries and
everything, and I love all that stuff, but I mean, when I'm back in Glasgow, I always sort of treat
myself to a roll in chips with salt and vinegar from the blue the good, and it always makes me feel

(37:33):
really good, because I know that if I was eating something like that regularly, then I would start to
get a bit, the self-loathing would creep in, do you know what, I mean, like, come on, why are you fucking,
why are you eating this shit? I'm going to be 47 for goodness sake, but I mean, I'm only in Glasgow,
like, once a year, so like, one roll in chips once a year is fine. Okay. Yeah, that's fair enough.

(37:54):
Yeah, that's fair enough. Would you, would you like, have, give the macaroni pie a go?
No, I had never had a macaroni pie before until last year. I know it was always thing, but obviously,
I never, why would I want a macaroni pie? I'll have fucking scotch pie, because, yeah, eight meat.
However, the last time last year I was back, I went to the football, and that macaroni pie was the

(38:17):
only thing I could really have on the menu, and it was fucking rank, so, yeah, no, I would, I would not
fancy having a macaroni pie, to be honest. Also, it's about weird, like, making a macaroni pie, which
you think would be for vegetarians, but using lard in the pastry. Yeah, of course. I mean, that, it doesn't,
I mean, I eat butt raisin, but these, and they're, I eat from part, doesn't order me. I have bought

(38:39):
the vegetarian ones. They're not the same. No use. No use, no use at all. I had to be
point, I've got to pack a butt raisin, if we're sorry, I need to eat them, and it might take them out,
and have them over the weekend. Yeah, okay. Congratulations to the Jags. The Jaggies for
within. I love the, I love the people must think about, or about the names that scots,

(39:04):
nicknamed their teams, because like, them family are the pars. Thistle are the Jaggies, you know,
that's a, oh, why, they, why they call them the Jaggies? Well, because Thistles are Jaggy, you know,
makes perfect sense, you know, if you look, if you're Scottish, but if you're not, they must scratch
their heads. It's an England that's like, I mean, they call it, but would I ban you right?
You call themselves the Red Divels. They move her ham to just call themselves the wolves, you know,

(39:30):
I don't know what the ham, West Ham, I call themselves the hammers, which makes, you know,
it makes sense, you know, but anyway. Yeah, but you get random ones as well. Like, I think
Bournemouth are called the Cheris and, like, what was the other one? I was, I don't know, I want to
tip my tongue there. I don't know, I mean, a lot of them, of course, is related to their badge,

(39:51):
like, Leicester, CB and the foxes and stuff, but, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was the one? Oh, yeah, West
Brom, they're called the baggies. Like, it's, yeah, there's a lot of weird ones as well in, in England too.
Yeah, I suppose, yeah, I suppose there is. What do they call themselves the Buddies?
The Staggies. The Buddies. The Staggies. Yeah, Sint Miran are the Buddies. Of course. The Staggies.

(40:12):
Fuck, no, it's what, the Sint Miran are the Buddies. There'll be a reason for that. Don't, yeah.
Yeah. And of course, yeah, so, yeah. Okay.
And one last thing, I, very quickly, I did see there was a trend this week. I saw a post,
Scottish banter, and they unveiled Scotland's Mount Rushmore. Now, first of all, why the fuck do we

(40:33):
have an Mount Rushmore? You give us a fuck of a Mount Rushmore. But if they were to have a Mount Rushmore,
the four famous faces, let's have a little debate about this. Okay. The debate, the four faces they put
on were Lewis Capaldi, Billy Connolly, Andy Murray, and Sir Alex Ferguson. Now, this is Mount

(40:54):
Rushmore. So it's meant to be the four most iconic Scottish people of, of all time. So, of course,
I don't agree with three out of those four. Cosmo, yes. Cosmo needs to be. Cosmo
has his own little Cosmo mount or something. Well, I'll give Cosmo a bench at the top of my
Scottish Mount Rushmore, the Cosmo bench. But if you were to have four, I don't agree with three of

(41:18):
those. I don't think Capaldi, I don't think Murray, I don't think Ferguson. All right. Right.
Okay. Connolly, yes, deserves, right? A lot of the questions, there were questions asked,
because obviously there is one very famous person admitted from that, because if I say who's the
most famous Scottish person, the two names I would come up with are Connolly and Connolly. And

(41:41):
Connolly is obviously been admitted. There was a lot of talk in the comments about how you can't have
a woman beater on the Mount Rushmore. Agree, but fuck it. Connolly's got to go on. That's
what he's doing. Of course he does. Fucking Sean Connolly. He has to go on that Connolly, Connolly.
Are you in agreement with Connolly? Connolly? Yes, of course. Yeah. Absolutely. So as two spaces filled,

(42:05):
who were putting in the other two spaces? I mean, that probably will be hard for Cosmo to be honest.
But in all time, like, would you know, would you not think Rabi Burns would be better than, you know,
yes, or Rabi Burns. William Wallace. Yeah, but the thing is though, we don't, it would have to be like

(42:25):
a sculpting of a painting because there's no photographs. So we don't really know exactly what
those two look like. Oh, because we've already got artists with petitions. But the bar, like,
the bar that was Shakespeare, we don't know what Rabi Burns like, given, you know, it's a very famous
photo, a photo drawing of him. So we could use that. I don't know. I mean, it's, I think, I think my,

(42:47):
so my four Connolly, Connolly, Coltrane and Cosmo, the four seas. Okay. Call it Mount Cunt.
Actually, no, because that sounds bad because they're all four legends. Okay, Mount Good Cunt.
If anything. Okay. I was thinking a bit more logically. So I was going to put Rabi Burns,

(43:08):
you know, that was going to put, like, maybe Mary Queen of Scots, but because obviously,
you need to have some female representation there. Yes, you are. Also French. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, but not kind of French. She was all French. But, yeah. But, but yeah, of course,
if you're going to go with that, then go ahead. But then you would have Robert the Bruce really

(43:28):
went, because arguably Bruce did what Wallace couldn't and that he got an independent Scotland,
right? So Wallace is kind of the runner up to Bruce's sort of gold medal, really, in terms of
independence. I mean, if it was up to me, I just put Willie Miller up there. That's it. Done.
She's a big car from a Willie Miller holding the 83 cup when it's coupled off with one arm. Done.

(43:54):
Yeah. You just get the whole Aberdeen, you get to pick up what it's sight.
Sounds good to me. Okay. That's my hype rush for a sword. Yeah, he got a sword. That way Ferricy
gets in as well. So, yeah, sword. Yeah, I mean, the so you know, can I mean Ferricy? Arguably,
the most successful Scottish manager of all time, right? I mean, in terms of career, you know,

(44:20):
I mean, they obviously, they, they, they, they sort of two-thirds of that career were in Manchester,
but still in terms of what you won. And then probably after him at Pichokstein. Yeah.
That's it, really, right? There's no one else really that's, that's one European trophy, it's
like those two. So then, would you class, that's another debate, but would you class that's a sports

(44:42):
person? Because, I mean, yes, obviously it is a sportsman, but then you could say like Andy
Murray is probably our most successful sportsman person. Yeah. In terms of like an individual sport.
I mean, I'm proud, like, I've kind of, I'm funny, but Andy Murray, because like, I like tennis,
right? Tennis is probably my, from my favourite sport, I would say tennis, to like, what should

(45:07):
I play? And it's probably because it's the only sport that I've ever been like half decent at. But
Andy Murray, I mean, like, great champion, but he's sort of difficult to like because he's a
miserable bastard, right? That's maybe why I like him, so much, I'm not really a big tennis player,
but I fucking love Andy Murray because he's a fucking miserable bastard. She suits me.

(45:29):
She's like archetypal, successful sportsman, really? No time for small talk or, or no time for fools,
you know? So if you had a Scottish sport, Mount Rushmore, so there's four places I'm thinking,
you'd have Andy Murray, you'd have Jockey Wilson, you'd have Stephen Henry, and then Chris Hoy,

(45:53):
yeah, yeah, they're all good candidates, I would say. Lisbacogun? Yes, our daughters doing pretty well,
right? Yeah, she is, just so. Yeah, she really well. Yeah, I think, yeah, we need to have
a little bit of representation there, so let's put Liz up there. Yeah, what was the dark
Aelish Macogun's at the daughter's then? Yeah, thanks, so yeah, Aelish Macogun, yeah, she's,

(46:15):
yeah, she's, she's phenomenal as well. I don't know, like, I mean, this, I mean, there's,
with the minute when like a world championship in curling recently, you could argue that, I think
I was like, those 20 years ago, I think, oh, we won, no, we won like last year, I'm sure.
So we don't know? It's not like a winter at, when was the winter Olympics? I feel like we won
some cool, probably dead. But yeah, we could have the curling team up there, yeah, yeah,

(46:40):
takes up a bit of space, but I think we need to be able to do the space we can get for the
the Aberdeen 1983 Cup win or start in 11 always. Jockey Wilson's going to take up a fair bit of space
as well, to be fair. Anyway, save some money, Caravan is teeth. Okay, right, I think that wraps up

(47:04):
the news for this week then. Okay, right, before we go on to what we're going to be talking about
today, which we're going to have to do very delicately. Let's have a little word from our sponsors.
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(47:28):
far eastern girls do splendid things with rice.
German girls are so correct and the pains are never late.
But there's only one girl we want to see as we reach the departure gate.
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(47:48):
I wish they all could be Caledonia.
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British Caledonia and I of the year.
Okay, Greg, so it was your choice on this episode of The Cultures Valley. So why do you tell us what

(48:09):
we're going to be talking about today? So this week we're talking about 2004's romantic social
commentary. I guess Mike Colott, A-Fond Kiss, named after a forementioned Rabby Burns song of the
same name, which means "just a kiss" in Old Scots and directed by legendary English independent

(48:34):
filmmaker Ken Loach. A-Fond Kiss explores the romance between a young Pakistani man,
Kasim and Irish music teacher Rochene and the impact that it has on their
respective communities. So I had never seen this and I think I actively avoided it when it came out

(48:57):
because I read the synopsis and I thought, no, it doesn't sound like because I think
that's Ken Loach film before this was sweet 16, which I really enjoyed. And for some reason,
I just thought that I shouldn't this would just be a bit of a soft, kind of romantic, maybe
dramedy or something like that, with a little bit of, you know, culture clash. And it is that, I think,

(49:25):
but there's a lot more to it than just that, I would say. But had you had you watched this before?
No, first viewing and for similar reasons as you. I didn't realise, I knew it was Ken Loach film,
I read the synopsis and thought, yeah, don't really fancy that. So I hardly knew anything about

(49:46):
this film. I knew that the premise, of course, but I didn't know much about it. I'm glad that I did
not because I was very surprised at quite a few elements of the film. Obviously, it's always good
to see Gary Lewis pop up in anything in David Hyde, didn't expect them. And Raymond Marns as well,
you know, fantastic. We will talk about those three, I think, at length later. But of course,

(50:12):
another actor who appears later, I had no idea what was coming and I let out an audible,
oh, you fucking dancer, what do you appear to be on the screen? This is a weird Ken Loach film.
It's still, it's still retained so many Ken Loach hallmarks. In terms of using a mix of non-actors
and established actors, some I'm looking forward to discussing, but they actually work so well.

(50:38):
It's bait, Shai Ramzan who plays Hamid. Oh my god, I want to talk about him at length because
it's, it's his only acting credit and he's, he's not the best, but he's brilliant as well. And
there's something about Loach just gets the best out of these people. Doesn't Shai away from things?

(50:58):
I agree with you. I thought maybe it was going to be a bit of a sappy kind of, oh, everything's
going to work out and everything will be good. Look at how these cultures clash. Almost like a
kind of East-East type film in a way. It's not at all and it doesn't hold back. I was quite,
you know, the beginning, it starts off quite comically in terms of with the, the dad effectively

(51:21):
setting up an electric generator to put on his daily record board to stop dogs pissing on it
and electric you to dog. You're like, okay, where's this going? Then it goes into his sister,
obviously saying that she's a, a glass-weedian Pakistani, T.H. woman of Muslim descent who supports
Glasgow Rangers in a Catholic school. Yeah. And then there's a bit of a, a rami and it does get

(51:46):
uncomfortable and that's immediately I was taken out of the kind of, oh, wow, because I don't know
what, it's kind of didn't expect here the language. And I wonder if the language in that scene
was improvised or if it was scripted because I think I think he does that. I mean, because Peter Mullen

(52:06):
does the same. You know, there's a, there's a kind of a guide script, but they because, you know,
Ken Loach makes a mixture of like movies and documentaries and ever since he started,
it has, it has movies of all the, they're all a bit class, you know, like, you know, class minorities,

(52:26):
you know, even now he's making movies because last pub, because I think it's called the great oak,
set in, set in like the northeast of England and it's about a pub, but it's about asylum seekers and
that kind of thing as well, you know what I mean, and they impact on the community. So I think for him,
I think, you know, he, because they famously Martin Compton had never, was like a up-and-coming

(52:49):
footballer right for Morton when, you know, I know he's one of our most celebrated actors, but he
never did any acting before he did sweet 16. And so I think he likes that element of authenticity by
having normal people in it. And sometimes it works really, really well in other times that there's,
a few people that appear in this, that are a bit wibbly, wobbly, you know, but that said, you know,

(53:18):
it's, it wouldn't be a kind of a loach film without those elements. No, and it works so well. I'm,
I mean, just one and then Cassam's older sister is another one that you can tell, it's like this
twice, she fluffs her lines, but yeah, but then it sounds natural as well, like you notice it because
you're watching it in a TV show or a film and you think, you know, she's just fluffed her lines, but

(53:41):
people do that all the time in terms of repeating a word or saying something, they might times we do
it on this podcast or it's, it, I just did it there. It's natural. It's the way you talk. And it,
it took me out of it, but also it was like, ah, that's really cool because it just feels natural.
Yeah. The, the language that I refer to in the, the kind of what we've seen, I'm not going to say the

(54:01):
words, but I'll put the clip in, but I was almost like, like, wow, okay. Um, so it's when the sister
Tara is trying to get her rangers taught back and the kids are stealing it. Yeah. What's going on?

(54:25):
It's like, wow, okay, they're not mucking around here then. It's straight into it. And it's
immediately you're like, okay, this is like a Tinder box in terms of Glasgow in terms of, okay,
you're already getting the, the Celtic rangers kind of divide in there. Yeah. Before we even go
into the, the, the, the kind of racism or, you know, the, the religion aspect of this film, it's,

(54:49):
it's not holding back. It's just, yeah, let's just throw everything in and see what happens.
Well, I mean, this, they, they, they sort of, they, they can I get the racism out the way really
with that scene because the rest of the movie is, it's just about the relationship between
machine and casting and the sort of difficulties that that relationship presents for both of them.

(55:10):
So I was quite, okay, okay, so I did think to myself, you know, is it going to be, you know,
a film about racism in Glasgow, you know? And it's not really, and you know, I don't know
how I've always surprised when I hear that because like when I was at school in Glasgow, I went to
Wittelprime, the in Bishop Briggs and there was a lot of Pakistani and Indian kids, like a lot,

(55:35):
a lot, a lot. Um, this is because Bishop Briggs has a big Asian community. And I don't remember the,
they like cricket. I don't remember any of them because they would run about together. Friends
with some of these kids and stuff, maybe all played together. I don't remember any of them ever
supporting the old firm. And it's got older. I thought, well, I'm not surprised because you couldn't get
to fucking less tolerant fan bases. Yeah. Then Rangers and Celtic, you know, I mean, the real

(56:01):
died in the wool ones. You know, I mean, I remember when Mark Walters, that was young, really young,
but that Mark Walters, like the first black guy to play for Rangers and the Rangers fans through
bananas on the pitch. Not even the fucking opposition. You know what I mean? So I didn't quite
really understand. I know that both clubs are the work hard to try and stamp that sort of

(56:25):
sectarian and racism stuff out, but I don't know why anybody know they fucking don't. Well, they really don't
outwardly, you know, outwardly, they do. I've hold of my quotation bunny years up, you know, as
bad as the press is cut, you know, but yeah, you're right. I mean, you know, it's just maybe the
definite, if they're doing anything, I mean, what did Rangers had a, whether the fade-ealed firm on May

(56:48):
the 4th, the other week and they had that big flag up, did you see it? Where they had Graeme Sunnis.
I drawn a Graeme Sunnis with a shotgun saying something like die-rebel scum, something like that,
and it was, it was fucking massive. Yeah. This thing, I mean, it covered the fucking hole, the
govern road end pretty much. So yeah, to your point, and the, you know, if the, it's a lip service

(57:10):
of anything, right? Oh, yeah, and of course the club defended it, same but it was May the 4th,
it was Star Wars Day, but we're having, yeah, because of course, what's synonymous with Star Wars,
Graeme Sunnis. Graeme Sunnis, point in a shotgun. Yeah. Wonderful. You're right. They do kind of,
it's not to say they get the racism out of the way because it does, it does run a thread through

(57:34):
the film, but you're right. It's not, it's not, it's not shoved down, you kind of
throw it in a way in terms of it's, it's not a, this is a problem in Glasgow because obviously we have
the, the three Scottish builders, yeah, Gary Lee, the state-machine, Raymond Merns, and they're,
yeah, obviously, no issues in terms of working with the family. Yeah. Of course, lots of other,

(57:56):
are people interacting, the only other, the only other kind of times racism is really brought up is
it's from Cassim saying, or his dad saying, you know, you'll always be black and you know, what happens,
you know, late online, and then in terms of the priest makes a little bit of a racist kind of word.

(58:18):
It's on the top deck of Rahamat. Yes. So, but it is kind of then left in terms of like, okay,
so let's focus on the, the religion aspect and the relationship as well. Now, they meet in a very
nice way in terms of, well, they don't meet in a nice way, but the relationship does, you know,
blossom in a kind of, of nice and natural way. Are they a good couple together though? Because they seem

(58:43):
to spend a lot of the film just fighting or shagging, but there's a lot of, it's like every relationship,
so that's, yeah, if you're, if you're right. But I mean, I, I kind of thought it's, he, you know, he's,
if you don't really, he becomes difficult to root for in a way because she's, you know, she's very

(59:05):
likeable, right? She's, yeah, she's, she's, she's from Ireland, she's got a twin-cone or eye.
She's quite funny. She's a music teacher. She's a great, a great pianist and, you know, he's,
he's tried to get his club off the ground and everything. And the thing that sort of, he,

(59:26):
so the, the, the story is for the listeners, if you're not watch that they meet when he is chasing after
his sister who's chasing the boys that have stolen her rangers' top and they run into her classroom.
And that's how they meet and he's sort of taken with her and this relationship begins. So they go
away for a few days to Spain where they're having a lovely time and then that's when he tells her

(59:51):
that he is in an, he's, you know, he's in an arranged marriage to his first cousin.
And you're like, you know, so she is outraged because she obviously feels a bit used and, and then he
tells, you know, he comes and tells her, I've called it all, I'm going to call it off. And I don't,

(01:00:12):
you know, I don't want this arranged marriage or the one I want. So then she thinks, okay,
that's great because she's in love with them. So she organises a dinner party and then he goes and
tells her that he can't go against his family's wishes because he's the only son and it'll break,
it'll break, it'll take his family apart, blah, blah, blah, leaves a crime on the close stairs.

(01:00:33):
And then if fucking does cancel the arranged marriage, she takes them back again and they move in
together, then they have that round where they actually can absolute count when she finds out
that she's lost her job and you know, that by itself would be enough and you start, and then,
you know, spoilers at the end she takes them back. And so you start off, can I root in for her? And then,

(01:00:57):
and then it sort of suggests that, well, how fucking vows yourself a steam? You know what, I mean,
this guy has lied to you. He's not once but twice. He's, he's put himself before you when you've
really needed them and yet you're happy to take him back. And that's in the credits role with them,
reconciled, sitting by the piano. Like, they're going to live happily ever after and just they, well,

(01:01:20):
and I, you know, like, I mean, I know that this film's 20 years old but if this film was to be made now,
I can imagine like, through the modern lens people saying, well, why is she taking them back? You know,
it, it, it, it, it doesn't deserve for the way she treated her, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and,
you know, she takes them back despite all these fairly horrendous things that he's done, you know?
I can see the, the kind of the initial reveal and it's not so much a lie but he just hasn't told her

(01:01:47):
that he's, yeah, do you be marrying his cousin? And he's deceived her, right? Yeah, he has deceived her
and he's tried, he hasn't really tried to tell her. Like, it's no, he's just been doing this because
I think it's very well kind of represented in the scene where his older sister is meeting her
husband to be for the first time and his family around and they're all speaking and the mums

(01:02:10):
introducing everyone and speaks about Casam and says, oh yeah, he's, Dutamari is cousin Jasmine,
the wedding's in nine weeks time, we're all very excited, he's very excited. Yeah.
And then the next scene is it cuts to him in Rochaine's flat and he's into an piano and you're like,
oh, they're very bastard. He's, you know, I do this, then they go, the nightclub then they have a
bit of a wrestle and have sex on the floor and I could see he's got kind of carried away and he's,

(01:02:34):
it has been on his mind that he has to tell her and but you think that when she then, you know,
gets that job and finds out and then bicks the holiday Spain, his concern isn't like, oh,
I going away with a woman that isn't my room to be, it's like, oh, fuck, what do I tell my mum?
But yeah, go away. So yes, there, then obviously you can tell he kind of feels a little bit guilty,

(01:02:57):
maybe. So tell her and that's the, I would say that is one of the one of the best scenes in the film,
it's a beautiful scene, I think, in terms of when he tells her and there's the whole 11 words speech
and she's, you know, got too extra for you, fuck off. Like beautifully delivered and there's so much
tension and so much emotion in that scene and I think that is where like, I haven't even spoken

(01:03:23):
about the performance, sorry, of like Eva Burtisl, who plays Rochaine, she is fantastic.
It is so good in terms of her, I guess, an experienced actor, but also just this raw energy and she's
so good. And in that scene, the emotion that she delivers and the venom, but also the, the

(01:03:44):
distraughtness that she's going through, just having learned this when she's like, I'm just sort of
final fling like a stag do thing, like she feels used and she has every right to feel used.
So what the fuck is this? Is it like some last minute fling before you settled down to married

(01:04:04):
life or no? What the fuck am I? Is she fucking tart in a stag party? Jesus Christ!
I don't believe this!
Oh that was a little word, I told her, but here's another two for you, fuck off!

(01:04:33):
No, I kind of, I started this by seeing I was defending him in that way, but I can, I can let him off
with that in a way because he did tell her, but he just couldn't find the right words to tell her,
but he did. Yeah. What I can't defend him with is as you've alluded to the kind of towards the end
where she's just found out she's basically lost her job because of her relationship with him.

(01:04:59):
She's saying that like it's the school, it's the priest, I've got your sister on my back,
and he's sort of defending his sister and saying, oh she's fine, it's okay, and I need to go,
because I've got, I need to go and meet the investors, and she's like, but yeah, really what you
stay, and the, it's the line he says is, but this is really important to me. Yeah, yeah. And at that

(01:05:22):
moment I'm like, you fucking prick, you absolute fucking prick, she's just lost her job, she's had
your sister on her case, she's kind of being ostracized from her face, she had a priest on her back as
well, you fucking prick, like I'm sure your mate can go and deal with it himself, and yeah, off he

(01:05:43):
goes, and then he phones her up, basically saying, oh yeah, we've got the money, I want to celebrate,
I need you there, to celebrate, no, yeah, I'm sorry, like that infuriate me, and yes, from that moment on
I was like, yeah, I'm done with you. Yeah, it's, you know, I like it, I don't know, like he's, maybe
this was, uh, Atta Yakub's first sort of acting, get good, he had done modeling and stuff before,

(01:06:07):
maybe, because she's clearly, she was, she was, Eva burst, burst, this was a trained, you know, actor,
she went to theater school, everything else, she had done, she had acted in a lot of Irish, uh, TV shows
and films before she did this, so she's coming in, like, fairly well seasons, and she's playing opposite
a guy, and considering it, is, is this, the joint lead in it says first film, he's, he's, it does a good

(01:06:33):
job, you know, when you take that into account, but I think, you know, and maybe some of the more
weighty scenes, that's maybe where he's found, maybe, you know, his, an experience, uh, is sort of shown,
a little bit there, and, and I also get the impression that Ken Loach is someone who just,
who probably shoots his films quite quickly, you know what I mean, probably, probably by necessity,

(01:06:58):
you're alluded to it earlier with, um, the actors who play Casam's sister and has them, um, you know,
with the kind of fluff their lines, a couple of times, but you know, that, he's an independent filmmaker,
Ken Loach, you know, he's not, he's not, he's not getting millions and millions and millions of
dollars to make his movies, you know, it's low budget, it'll be a tight schedule, you know, he just, he

(01:07:21):
needs to, can I get, I suppose get it in the can, right? Um, so, but that's, what I did like about,
this, about the story, and the story is written by Paul Aberty, who's, like, a long time collaborator
with Ken Loach, he wrote the angel share, which we've covered before he wrote my name is Joe,
which we've covered, and he wrote the 16, which we've covered, and, and some of Ken Loach's other stuff,

(01:07:46):
like the one that shakes the barley, which is really, really good, really about the Irish civil war and
war for independence. And the fact that it's not just about, you know, uh, Casam's community being
unable to accept Rochene, it's, you know, that I wasn't expecting that moment when she has to go and

(01:08:09):
get her, because she teaches at a Roman Catholic school, and for overseas listeners, Glasgow is
mad in the sense that it has church of Scotland or Protestant schools, non-denominational schools,
and Roman Catholic schools, and the Roman Catholic schools, the church is, uh, continuous to be a

(01:08:30):
big part in there, because she is a Roman Catholic from Northern Ireland, she has to go and get her
letter of approval to have her position full time, and that's when she goes, has to go to her priest,
in the parish that she's joined in Glasgow, uh, to, and she meets, and the priest is brilliantly
played by, by Gerard Kelly, who, he's only on the screen for five minutes, but I mean, you know, he's

(01:08:56):
stand out, they absolutely brilliant, uh, performance, yeah, but it's, it's, it's a very serious scene,
you know, he does bring a little bit of humor to it, as we mentioned before, but he's a guy who
understands that world quite clearly, you know what I mean, and I suspect Paul Loverty probably does

(01:09:16):
as well, just the second name, and you know, we find out that it's, like, it's not just Casam's community
that will reject Rochene, but heart community, and where she's coming from, will reject him, the
difference between her and him is that she's very much, you can't tell me how it is my life,
and she doesn't accept it, you know, from the priest, whereas he, he, he, he can't quite bring

(01:09:41):
himself to say the same thing to his family, you know, and I guess it's just that jogs position
between the, between the two different cultures, you know, okay, I'm not going to be around the bush,
are you living with a man? Sorry. Are you having sex outside of marriage?
That's none of your business. It is my business, you've not been listening. I have a responsibility

(01:10:07):
to the parents of those Catholic children that you teach. I am a priest, I'm not some 95 bureaucratists,
you're just a rubber stamp thing, I mean, what are you thinking? You think you can get into bed with
any Tom Dick or Mahamid Nengle way in teach me Catholic, can? What did you say? You have fine
well I say. You've been talking about it. That is none of your business. None of my business.
I mean, of course, General Kelly, famously in the, the very famous Scotch and Rye scene,

(01:10:31):
what is the first Catholic to sign for Rangers? I was like, yeah, brilliant sketch.
No, I was at Mass. The, I kind of yelped when he came on screen, so I did not expect him to come on,
and I was so delighted and he just comes in as this fact smoking priest and, yeah, yeah,

(01:10:53):
and just lays down the law. And I did wonder if that was added to ensure that it's not only the
Muslim community that comes off is being kind of dogged in tradition. And we have a scene where
the Catholic faith, exactly as you've said, does take a bit of a kicking of like, my god, really,
like these anarchic kind of traditions. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, I need to be careful,

(01:11:17):
actually what I see in terms of that. But I thought it was very good in terms of kind of balancing the
act exactly as you've said and showing this for, for what it is that they're not accepting of him either.
And of course, the famous, you know, Tom Dick Muhammad's line. And for him saying that the, okay,
look, we're not living in the dark ages. You can, yeah, you can get your marriage an old,

(01:11:40):
you can marry him, but your children have to be brought up Catholic. Yeah, yeah. And, and the
parting line is, and if you don't like that, you can go and work at the Protestant school.
And it says you can go and teach the Protestants. Yeah. Yeah.
A lot of those lines, some of the things that he says in that, in that scene, they feel like

(01:12:02):
very improvised. Like that, the Tom Dick Muhammad line, and that, you can go and teach the Protestants.
You know, because the thing is, and Billy Conley talks a lot about being a wee boy grown up in
party and the priest can come around, you know, just kind of, kind of coming around to your house,

(01:12:23):
really. You know, they can afraid the night or whatever and, you know, just having a cup of tea
and talking to the parents and everything else. And, you know, you have to make sure that all the
signs that you're a good Catholic are in full view. You know, we got to have the cross on the wall and
all that sort of stuff. And then, but I said that, remember, when I was wee, like my, my aunt and my

(01:12:44):
mum sister, it was married to a Catholic. And my cousins who I'm closest with were raised as
Roman Catholics. You know, they went to Catholic school, the sport Celtic, you know, being
confident in their holy communions and everything else. And I remember my older cousin, Derek, he
started school about 18 months before me. And, I remember being there just before I started school.

(01:13:04):
And he came in, he came in from school when he was, and he was upset. And he said to his mum,
I need to be a mass on Sunday. And his, my uncle, Alec, he was a draftsman of sure. So he was two
weeks on and two weeks off. So the only time that any of the kids got taken to mass was when Alec was
at home. But my aunt, your eyes, I wasn't taking kids to mass on Sunday. Fucking, you better believe

(01:13:26):
that, right? But anyway, Derek was upset. And because the priest had come in on the, in the school,
and he'd said, any basically dug out all the kids that he hadn't seen at mass the Sunday before.
So Derek came in and said, "Mum, I need, you've got to take a bit of mass on Sunday." And I was like,
"I'm not taking you to mass, to mass your dad can, your father can take you when he comes back from

(01:13:47):
the rigs." And he was like, really, really upset. And he said, "Yeah, but the, the, the, the, the,
the priest still got onto me." And I just like, "Oh, well, hey, well, I'll just speak to that bloody priest."
But, but, but that, but I mean, that was very much like that. And that, I mean, that's not like a
hundred years ago. That's, you know, the sort of heirletic and a mid-80s. And I don't know if it's

(01:14:10):
still like that, but there are, there are still like Roman Catholic schools in Glasgow, for sure.
And I'm not close to that community anymore. So I don't know if it's still the same, but certainly,
like, you know, the priest would be a very prominent figure in the community, just like the,
you know, because there's a lot of similarities between, and Roach kind of, it's sort of

(01:14:32):
casalite on some of these similarities between the two different faiths. There's that,
there's that great scene when they're both talking about their faiths. When you're talking about
the prophet will have it, and she's talking about Jesus, and they're, they have, it's quite nice,
they have a bit of fun with it, you know, like, I love it when she's talking about the, was it, the,
the trans substination. And he said, "What's that?" He said, he said, "Well, this, this, this,

(01:14:54):
they, we have to believe that the priest can turn bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ."
And he's like, "What?" You know what I'm saying? We don't have that. I was a nice scene when they're
both sort of, you know, they, they're not criticizing their own faiths, but they're sort of drawn
attention to some of the more perhaps, outlandish elements of their faiths, but without being

(01:15:20):
down on either, you know? But does that show the progression of the culture in terms of ages as well?
Because, you know, undoubtedly. Obviously you have the elder people in the film. So obviously,
Cassim's mum and dad, you know, devout Muslims, obviously has to be this way, whereas Cassim

(01:15:43):
and Roshin obviously are a little bit more looser, and then even his younger sister, Tara, is, is kind of
really wanting to break that mold as well. She doesn't want to go into Glasgow and study medicine,
she's going to Edinburgh, study journalism, and she's a, a ranger's fan as well. And I think that
was a nice way to show kind of the way that things are changing with generations,

(01:16:06):
and also that you can get on and have a laugh about your religion in terms of like, "Oh yeah,
we believe in this, oh my god, yeah, what?" And that's, I think, I think that's what this film does well,
it kind of educates as well, but also, pokes, it doesn't poke fun, but it does kind of, as you've said,

(01:16:27):
make it maybe a little bit like, "Yeah, can you believe we believe this?" But that's what it do, so yeah,
that's the way. Well, what I liked about this was, you know, there's that scene. So after,
toward the end of the film, when Cassum has rejected, that he's fully rejected his family's plans for him,

(01:16:48):
and then these dads up, say, he smashes the windows in the extension and then he's sitting at the
at the kitchen table when the younger daughter, Tehara comes in to say, "Look, she's been told previously,
even though she's got an unconditional offer to Edinburgh, to go to university, she's been told

(01:17:09):
she's not going, and in this scene she comes in, she comes in to say, you know, how's your hand
dads?" I'm going to Edinburgh university, by the way, so I'm going and you can't stop me. And,
you know, like, I thought it's really delicately handled because in the once, you know, you sort of
see, especially with the dad, and I don't know if he's ever acted in anything, but he's a great

(01:17:32):
character. I don't recognize him from anything, but, you know, he sort of, he sort of like, the pain
that he's in when he's in that when he's torn between his love for his children and his sense of
duty to his religion and his values and his tradition and his culture and his community, you know what,

(01:17:54):
I mean, like, it's, I think, you know, this, but a big reason why Scotland has such a big Pakistani
community is because of the partition of it in India and everything and, you know, a lot of these
people were essentially almost the asylum seekers of the day come to Scotland and England and
setting up businesses and casements like a second generation, Pakistani immigrant and a Glasgow. But,

(01:18:19):
the, the, the, the father like, because like, there's never a, he's so proud of his son, you know,
he's, he's, his son, he's his only son, he's named after the twin brother that he lost during the
partition. And they, and I'd never got the feeling from the performance that, you know, nothing else matters
other than his son, following the path that's been set out for him and doing the right thing by

(01:18:44):
his community and his culture and everything else in his family. I really felt like there's a real,
there's a real struggle going on with the mum and the dad and they, they, that love for the children
that they're so proud of, you know, when you see the older sister when they're making the match for
her, when they kid from Bradford who comes up and that, that's seen and everything else, you know,

(01:19:04):
they, they're so devoted to their way of life. But they're also, they want the best for their
children and the fact that their children are, you know, casements are qualified accountant and he's
trying to open a nightclub and open his own business with his friend, the older sister is,
it Rushana. She's a graduate from Glasgow University as well. She's setting out in her career. The

(01:19:29):
younger sister to have, to have is clearly a very gifted student and is set for great things and they're
really proud of them. And you know, they, they sort of, it's like, well, they, they kind of, the
kid, they're part of them, they does understand that they've brought them to another country and they
kind of have to let them go, but they have their own way of life as well. And it's really difficult to

(01:19:52):
do that. I thought that that scene is really powerful. And I like to, it doesn't criticize their way
of life at all. No, you know what I mean? It doesn't, it's straight, it, it's straight to good
balance. If anything, I think I would say it's a bit more critical to, of, of Catholicism, really,
and then it is all this man. No, I, I would agree with you. Like, I'm, it, Rias, who plays Tarrick,

(01:20:16):
Cassem's dad. I think he's been in a couple, I think he's like three or four acting credits on
IDB. He is kind of the, he's not the comic relief, the comic relief will come onto, but he, he's kind of
the, that's a lot funny, that's a lot funny moments. He does, like, you know, setting up like,
electrocuting the dog that passes on his thing, trampling in his wife's flower beds. Like,

(01:20:39):
even when he's smashing up the extension, you can't help but kind of laugh in a way, but also
feel sorry for him because it's kind of over the top. And he comes out with some great one liners as well.
He, he really is the heart of the film though, and you do, I completely agree, Greg, you really
feel his struggle. Like, yeah. He, he does attract the, like, kind of, isympathy and affection, but I,

(01:21:00):
I did struggle in terms of, like, really believing that his beliefs are so powerful that he would,
because it's true. I felt that he loves his kids more than, yeah. Although he is, you know, you see him
going to the mosque, you see him, you know, he's obviously a very proud and very,
believes and follows his faith, but traditional. Yeah. And obviously with his wife as well. And I,

(01:21:23):
exactly as you said, you know, the scene where the older sister is meeting her, her,
groom, her husband to be, you do kind of get that they are steeped in tradition, and this is,
this is the way effectively, but it is, yeah, difficult in terms of believing the, the kind of,
that struggle that he's going through. And then I felt so sorry for him in terms of, okay,

(01:21:47):
so Casim's just gone, he smashed up the extension. And then his youngest daughter,
basically comes in and was like, yeah, by the way, I'm fucking off dead in Bracilia. And that's his
whole life, kind of shared, like because as we learn from the older sister, that their lives are
being ruined because of Casim and Roshin's relationship. But she says like because of your love,

(01:22:08):
so many people's lives are being destroyed. And that's where I struggle with the older sister because
her scenes, you can a tread the line of thinking, you fucking bitch, like in terms of what she goes to
see Roshin, when she takes Roshin in the car to basically watch Casim meet Jasmine and say, yeah,
that's gonna, this is wife, yeah, he's gonna marry her and he's gonna go through with it. You're like,

(01:22:29):
you fucking bitch. But then you can also see her point as well because her life is being ruined. Her
marriage is not gonna happen because of this relationship. Yeah, yeah. So it's difficult to kind of
take a side on that and it's so well done in terms of you're like, oh, you, you cow and then you're
like, ah, see your point. So yeah, it's a very fine kind of line to be treaded in this film.

(01:22:56):
It's so difficult for us to sort of speak to it because, you know, we come from backgrounds where,
you know, both of us have been encouraged through our lives to go and do, you know, go out and do
what we want. You know, nobody was sort of lining up potential wives for me or for you. You know,

(01:23:16):
I mean, that was, you know, nobody was sort of deciding what our paths would be when we were at school.
And so you'll go to, you know, you need to study hard for school and then you're gonna go to this
university and then you're gonna, you're gonna meet your, do you got to do this and you're gonna
settle down and blah, blah, blah. You know, we've, like, our culture is very, very different.

(01:23:37):
And, you know, I think it's so like, I don't, I don't want to be kind of critical of that
way of life because it's incredibly important to like a massive community, not just, could have, you know,
particularly in Scotland, and particularly in the West of Scotland as well, you know. But, you know,

(01:23:57):
I've sort of, that's what I think it's, you know, he does handle it. He doesn't sort of condemn
either side there, you know, I mean, you could say, well, Rochene is, you know, she's quite a modern
woman, you know, she talks about how she got married when she was 19, how, you know, the guy was the
nicest guy and a really good friend, but she shouldn't got married to him and, you know, and she's not

(01:24:22):
evidently not been divorced or an old or whatever at least to be. But, you know, she's living her life
in her own terms, you know, she's moved, she's moved to Glasgow, she's teaching music, she's, she was
even, you know, she was teaching about the civil rights movement as well because she was showing like
photographs of lynchings in America, she's playing, I think it was like a Nina Simone song about,

(01:24:44):
about lynchings and that kind of thing and the scene where she finds out that she's lost her job. But
she's living her life in her own terms, and Cassum, he, you know, probably before he meets her, he's
living his life in his own terms, but he's kind of not really because while he's out, perhaps professionally
doing that, you know, his poem life has been organised for him, you know, I think it's an interesting

(01:25:07):
balance that they try to strike. I think they also try and show the modern aspects as well when
Cassum is speaking to Hamid on Hamid's balcony and he's, it's a weird conversation in that he's
effectively saying to him, look, you have to get married to your cousin because it's your family,
your family has come first, get married, then Shaq who you want. Listen, listen, let's get one thing

(01:25:33):
quite clear, right? You're going to get married, you're going to have kids, you're going to do the
moment, dad thing, but she's the right thing, Shaq is a fuck you want to Shaq, but don't fuck up your
whole family and her family back home. It's not just about Shaq, you know what I mean? What was that about then?
What's that about? There's so many buds out there and you've been daft over one bug.

(01:26:00):
That's no way daft over it. You're not going to fuck your whole family.
I'm just supposed to marry something that I don't know. I just do it, who cares? You've got a family to
think about. Like, and he says, they'll never accept her, she's a gore and she's a white woman,
they'll never accept her, but effectively go and get married to please your family and then go to

(01:26:22):
the mosque and do your stuff, but then yeah, Shaq, you want to have the words and you're like,
eh? What the fuck? It's very, okay, is that the way? Yeah, very the best advice. Yeah, not really the
best advice to be giving to hear me, I wouldn't say, but yeah, apart from the dad, Tarek, I'd say most

(01:26:43):
of the film's comic relief comes from Gary Lewis, Dave McIy and Raymond Burrins as the three builders
who are building the extension and moving pianos. Absolutely brilliant. I mean, this one would be three,
four scenes there in, it's just hilarious and you can tell it's improvised as well. And yeah, yeah,
absolutely, but absolutely spot on. The line where they're moving the piano and Gary Lewis says to

(01:27:06):
Raymond Burrins, can you take the fucking weight you fat bastard? Yeah, just fucking cracks me up so much.
And then we're doing the guy gets his boss smashed with the piano. He's like, but you're like, Gary Lewis,
you're Irish, yeah, you know, I've taken up the tin whistle. Even Raymond Burrins when

(01:27:31):
Cassim's leaving the extension site and stuff and coming back and he's like, ah, you want much
fucking use anyway and stuff. And you know, I would have you be not like, we've missed you. It's
so beautifully improvised and so well done. And they just are, every time they were on screen,
I just cracked up at the three of them. Yeah, they're so funny. That they're seen as where they even

(01:27:54):
bounce when he's roasting Cassim because he's been away and not helped with the, this is before
even had the donut. I don't know, they're doing it on a week back man.
It's just yeah, so naturally done and wonderful kind of comic relief in terms of like,

(01:28:14):
that film that is quite heavy in them a lot of parts. So yeah, it's good. I wanted to see more of
the younger sister to Harlow because I really really relate to her as a character. She was really,
really good. Brogian. And I'm kind of torn of, was there just enough of her or I wanted to see more.

(01:28:35):
So I guess it's a good sign that there was probably just enough because yeah. And she was obviously
on Cassim and Rochaine's side as they, she took my phone and I was trying to call you. She very
forward thinking and despite the fact that it's a dangerous plan. I really like that character.
And little lines like when she goes to the club and Cassim's like, you know, and she says to her,

(01:28:58):
she says her teacher is there. And she says to her teacher like, I bet you didn't have to climb
out the window. And so we're done, but such a strong female character. And I thought it was really
beautiful to see that in this film because the, so the kind of pulled her opposite to her sister who is

(01:29:20):
done with the family once. She went to uni. She studied the degree they wanted to. She's marrying
them and they want to. She's going to settle down. Whereas the younger sister is like, nah,
fuck this. I'm going to go out and go, I'm going to go on going to a ranger's top. I am going to go
to Edinburgh and study journalism. Yeah. Fuck it. Well, she wants to leave home and go to Edinburgh.

(01:29:40):
You need to, because they're saying to roll you a commute. And she said, but I'm going to miss out
on so much. Yeah. You know, she wants to go and have the, you know, she wants to go and live
away from home. And, you know, and just have an experience. You know what I mean? She just,
that's, that's, I mean, that's her. I really, you know, they get in her little speech that she makes at

(01:30:03):
the start in front of the class. And the fact that she won't be intimidated, they win the kids spit on
the windscreen of cat of Casam's car. And she's like, out the car and she's at them. And they're
fucking scared of her. Yeah. They went away from her, you know. And then that's that great bit of
shit. House three when the teacher is going to, they teach, I kind of loses them on the stairs. And

(01:30:25):
these, they wish they'd be going to send them up the wrong stairs. And, uh, it's another thing
that I noticed. So pelvic butterfly and dolphin tattoos. Quite, quite 90s and early 2000s,
right? My sister has a pelvic dolphin tattoo. So I've been out with two girls, both Scottish,

(01:30:50):
both had dolphin tattoos and their palvuses. But I got my sister. I'm not probably a sister,
I don't know. Yeah, that is, um, it was, I guess, that trend at that time, like tattoos have a
lot of trends like that. Yeah. And then Chinese symbols, tribal arm bands, like God, yeah, don't get,

(01:31:11):
don't get tattoos just because they're trendy folks. Although, that does lead me to my next
point of topic. Not, I do want to discuss the, the butterfly and dolphin tattoo.
I was just going to roast a mutual friend for his Chinese symbols that he has at his pelvis that he,
that he thinks says one thing and I'm sure says something entirely different. Yeah, I wonder what

(01:31:36):
they actually say. I don't know. Does he know that I can't remember what he says. He reckons he
does. He reckons he does. He, he did say when he was here, they're the weak, well, what they meant,
but it probably says like fucking chuner roll or something like that. Yeah, probably. Yeah.
He, he probably thinks it says like, Paul, who can feel full or something like that.
So is this the first thing we've covered in what is this episode 127 where we can say we have both

(01:32:07):
been in a bar featured in the episode at the same time. No, I mean, it sounds like it. You lost.
It's bad. So the bar that, so it's just after Rasheena Castle of kind of split up and then there's
a scene where he's in the bar upstairs and he sees her. We've been in that bar. Where's the bar?
Where does it? I don't know. I can't remember the name of it. It's in Glasgow, obviously,

(01:32:29):
but we have been in that bar because I, I recognized it as soon as the scene started. I was like, I,
I think I've been in that bar and then I saw the chairs. The chairs have a bar code kind of
etched into the back of the chairs. Right. And I've got a bar code tattoo and I remember being in that
bar with you, our mutual friend and I am 99% sure you're dead on a traditional Glasgow. Yeah. And

(01:32:58):
I can't remember what it's called, but I know exactly where it is. It's on Menfield Street. It's
on the hill on Menfield Street and my friend Steven Coulter came and met us there as well. Yes.
That's right. I can't remember what it's called. I still think it's called, but it was called
then, but that's where we all met. But then that must have been a roundabout, it was 2004. So 2003,

(01:33:20):
it was filled, it must have been a roundabout that time. But is that not the bar? We have the photo of,
I think it's the four of us kind of standing like that. Oh my God. Yeah. I think that photo was taken
in that bar. Yeah. Yeah. I think it probably was. Yeah. Because that night we met in there. We
ended up in the 80s bar across the road for one. So remember there was a male stripper on the member.

(01:33:43):
And then we ended up in, um, we went to Canvas in emergency city. I can date that exactly then.
That would have been, um, 2003, I think it was. No, I could tell you why I thought this. It would have
been the end of 2001. Right? It kind of being. So I didn't move to Glasgow until 2002.

(01:34:04):
Well, maybe it was, maybe it was early 2002. The only reason I know this, I know this
were a fact because I remember in the, because we ended up in, you just mentioned a bar, we ended
up in a bar, like a kind of poshish bar. Yeah. I had different rooms and stuff. And I was,
I was chatting to two slightly older ladies. Yeah. Because photographs of those slightly older

(01:34:26):
ladies. Yes, we do. And I was asking them because I had just left my uni work placement.
Yeah. And nor it's union. And I'd been paid an extra month. And they'd phoned me saying they'd
needed the money back. And I, she was a solicitor. And I was like, where do I stand? Do I have to
give the money back? And she was like, yeah, I think you do actually. I never did. Um,

(01:34:50):
so it must have been around about that time. I must have still been at uni. So I finished,
that was, I would have been in fourth year uni, which was 2001, 2002. So it must have been around
about that time. Yeah. Yeah. Would have been. Yeah. Because it wasn't, I think it was the first time
you guys came down and visited me when I, after I moved there because the Sunday night, the, sorry,
the Friday night we went to the shed. And then the Saturday, we were out in town. We went to,

(01:35:13):
we were a bit of shopping. We went to the lab, went outside our tonight. And then Sunday I came back
up to Aberdeen with you guys on the train. So, so yeah, we have been to that bar, Greg.
Hundred percent. So it was nice to see you. As soon as I saw it, I was like, oh my god, I've got
something to discuss here at that day. Gives away my Bobby the Barman award later on as well. Yeah.
I think well, I need to actually. Um, yeah. Um, like I would say, like I really enjoyed the film.

(01:35:41):
Oh, obviously it's Ken Loach film. I, I'm glad it wasn't what I was expecting it to be in terms of
some sort of sorpe romance. I think it's a good reminder as well that kind of racial and cultural
difference in Scotland, like it, it's still so far from dying out with the older generations,
but I think it showed the younger generations are. Yeah. A bit more kind of okay, things okay. And,

(01:36:04):
but in some communities it's still strong in fears as well. And I, I think it did show a nice kind of
development in a way of understanding. Well, I don't know. I mean, I was listening to a podcast this week.
And John Robbins, who I really, really like, it's got a podcast called How Do You Coop? He's

(01:36:25):
well worth a listen, and we're not getting paid for recommending this, but he, um, he interviewed
Alistair Campbell. He was, uh, Tony Blair's, uh, kind of spin doctor, I guess, uh, during the
Labour, uh, when Labour and power. And he sees it a lot of sort of mental health struggles in his
life. But John Robbins asked in the questions, was the end of the interview and he said, you know,

(01:36:46):
he said, he said, if there was one thing I think about, and I think back to the mid to late 90s,
nearly 2000s, when, you know, Tony Blair's government were in power, it was, it was, you know, a lot of
the, a lot of the, a lot of liberal messages, a lot about inclusion and tolerance and that kind of
thing. And now we seem to have gone back in modern politics, in modern parlance and politics,

(01:37:11):
we seem to have gone back to another time of where people were less tolerant in racism and
everything, where racism. And he asked, he said to Alistair Campbell, would you think of that? And he
said, well, you know, he said, I think, hopefully he said, you know, these things come in cycles and
it'll, it'll go right, it'll come around again, you know? So, I, so, you know, it's quite interesting

(01:37:32):
because this was the being, so, like, so Labour went into 1997, you know, this was before Tony
Blair handed over to Joe, John Prisky. Yeah, yeah, got, got, got, got, got him brown, yeah. So, you know,
this, still like, I mean, I remember the early 2000s of just, it all feeling about optimistic,

(01:37:54):
you know, I mean, and I was young as well and, you know, out in the world, I'm early 20s living my life.
But there was, you know, just, it felt, I, you know, I think, is it because of how old I was at the time,
or was it just the way things were? But, you know, I think this film, I remember there was a little bit
of controversy because there's a fairly graphic sex scene between Casam and Wushin in the film. And

(01:38:17):
I remember there being a little bit of controversy when the film came out because it was a, the scene
was between a nation and it was, it was, it was got a tabloid controversy. It wasn't like this film
should be banned, but it did get a, it got a few inches in the tabloids. Um, that's the wrong
expression. But you know what I mean? Um, it's, it's the scene where he goes down on her. Yeah. And

(01:38:41):
I've been a bit surprised, you know, that it was the sort of made that it did cause a little bit of
sort of cause the nation. You know what I mean? Because I kind of thought, you know, I sort of thought
to myself, well, you know, it's not exactly love my neighbor, love my neighbor or something like that,
you know, or, or rising damp or whatever, we're kind of behind that. Yeah, I know. I could agree,
I think however I do think that this film, and I, again, I'm going to have to be so careful

(01:39:06):
where I trade on this and, um, it's so bad that I've got to edit this so quickly. Tell me if I've
said anything wrong, but you got to think that this was 2004. This is a couple of, well, three years
after 9/11. So there was still, I think in the UK, a lot of ill feeling, um, a baby potentially,

(01:39:27):
in certain pockets, yes, in certain pockets, yes. And, but I think also that those, because if you go
on Twitter, like these days, like on the, or X, it's called the, the discourse is like incredibly
right-wing. Like when it's not a hardcore pornography, it is like really strong right-wing opinion.

(01:39:50):
And I just think, well, is that just, is, is there like a, is that slowly becoming a bit of a majority
or are these people just of the loudest voices? Is that, is that what it is? You know what I mean? Are these,
you know, these, are these the people that are going to go on social media and say, I mean, you know,
like these, like often quite horrible, ill informed, ignorant things about any minority, you know what I

(01:40:15):
mean? And it's sort of beled into politics in the UK. You've got like, forage and his reform party
who are gaining ground? Yeah, gaining UK. Yeah, gaining ground against, you know, and picking up a
lot of traditional conservative voters. But then you've got Kierstharmer, like last week. So like,

(01:40:36):
the Labour Prime Minister of the UK saying the words, we need to be careful, we don't become an
island of strangers. And when he's talking about asylum seekers and stuff, I just thought, it's
the last thing I would ever have expected a Labour politician let alone fucking Prime Minister to say.
So, you know, I think it feels like it's a pretty, it's a pretty bleak time as far as inclusion and

(01:41:01):
tolerance goes, you know? And I think social media is like probably the reason for it, you know? And
the lack of censorship in social media. Yeah, especially ex, it's been a very, very long time since I've
been on there because I've heard that it's just a, a cesspit of stuff. And yeah, part of me is like,
you know what? Maybe that's good. Maybe they've got somewhere to go that they can vent and no one else

(01:41:25):
has to read it because I don't want that. The people do, they do, they're influenced by it, you know what,
I mean, this is a lot. Well, yeah, that's a worrying thing as well. Yeah, you're right.
You know, like, there, and the thing is it tends to be, you know, I hate to say it, but people
over like my mum, my mother's generation, and my, and my fuck by late father was guilt-aveless as
well, being like really influenced by just like stuff he'd read that it would just take as being what

(01:41:50):
must be true because, you know, I guess he came from a generation where if you read something in the
newspaper, he's not questioning it, you know what I mean? If you're, like, if you heard something on
the news on the radio or on the television, why would you question it, right? Because you would,
never think for a second that somebody would be trying to like push an agenda, you know what I mean? Yeah.
But that's kind of all that, isn't it? Well, okay. And yeah, that concludes the, the rest is politics

(01:42:16):
corner, the culture, swallow. I'd say what you get fucking value in this podcast, we talk about
baseball, we talk about people whanking in public, we talk about politics, you know, everything.
Absolutely, everything. Okay, a fond kiss, anything else from your perspective, Greg, I mean,
I did read a comment online that said like every romance film should be this way, like the fact that

(01:42:41):
the lovers bicker, they throw each other out the apartment, take shots at each other's family,
and generally not getting along in between periods of being so intensely in love and having
amazing sex that they forget everything but each other. Yeah, well, you know, I think it's a fairly,
it's a fairly fair review of the film, I would say, you know? I mean, one scene that I was quite

(01:43:03):
evocative was just the kind of few minutes where we just sort of see them and hold it together,
you know, like, you know, when they're, you know, it was quite evocative of, you know, when you're
in the early days of a relationship and you go away together somewhere and, you know, I mean,
it's just, it's just so fun, right? You know, it's impromptuous, sex and just like splashing the scene

(01:43:26):
or that sort of stuff like it felt like really authentic. That scene, like those scenes before
it all comes crumbling down, yeah, intensely emotional exchange, but you just those first kind of few
moments of them just having a nice time and hold it together, you know what I mean? Like sitting
having a meal and talking and having a laugh and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, that's very true,

(01:43:49):
actually, yeah, I agree with you on that, it did feel like kind of way, yeah. Yeah, but anyway,
I sense that the end is in sight and it's time to put A-Fone Kist through our coveted swallow
awards. I always ask you, what's first Greg? I know it's always Bobby DeBarman, we've already
discussed it. It's the bar that we're being in. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, that did,

(01:44:11):
to be that. Like, I'm sure that the club playing the Banger music is a laugh, but, you know, I don't
know, I think that's too loud. Yeah, for me, just too loud. We're too old for that stuff, great.
Yeah, exactly. Okay, the next award then, next award then is the the Patron St of the Cultural

(01:44:32):
Swally James Cosmo Award for being in everything Scottish. So four clear contenders here. Four,
oh yeah, of course, four clear contenders, you're right, oh fuck, I didn't even, I think I'd already
written Gary Lewis and Dave McIe down before General Kelly even appeared on screen. And of course
three men, murs. Yeah, I've got Lewis and McIe down, so I'm sticking with it. Yeah, what are you?

(01:44:59):
It's fair. I mean, I put Kelly in, I almost put Kelly in two categories because that brief performance
is so good. Yeah, you know what I mean, it's so, so good. And the thing is as well,
in the events leading up to that moment, it's all been a little bit intense and about, you know,

(01:45:20):
like, are they going to, is it going to work out between them? Is it not blah, blah, blah? And you
sort of need, you kind of feel like you're incapable hands for those few minutes. Yeah, although it's
a very serious scene, but he just, it plays it so intuitively and he's coming from a place
of real familiarity it feels with that world, whether he grew up in that environment or whether

(01:45:43):
he grew up adjacent to it, he obviously understands it really well. And I just, I thought he's absolutely
brilliant. It just kind of breaks my heart every time I see him on screen because I just like, I miss him
so much. He was so, I was just absolutely gold like, oh, yeah, so good. So it could be an actor.
And okay, next award then is the J. McQuillan, your T-Zoot Awards. It's Piano The Boss. I don't know

(01:46:07):
else it could be. Literally got read, Dave McCoy getting a piano to the boss. So yes, it has to be
that. Yeah, clear winner. Next award then is the Francis Bag Be Award for Gritute Is Sweating. So I
have two here. I had the one that you mentioned already. Take the fucking weight you used the

(01:46:30):
sweat past, which maybe laugh, but I also had because because you don't really hear this expression
that much these days, but big fuck off nightclub. People don't say big fuck off about big things anymore,
do they? That's true. Yeah, I haven't heard that in a while. You're right. When did that die out?
That's big, I don't fuck off pizza. That's something. Yeah. That might be a big fuck off thread about it

(01:46:55):
and read it. Yeah, when did that die out? Fuck. Yeah, I had two as well. It is the take the fucking weight
you used the sweat past night and it's just, it's so cute. I mean, that's coming from a place of truth.
You know, a guy in the store, he's obviously moved a few heavyweets and he's staying up up

(01:47:21):
up at close stairs. But I thought the best use that I loved is I have to give it to Rushing for the
11 words. Here's another two for you. Fuck off. Yeah, is that what I was such venom as well. Beautiful
use of swearing. Yeah. Next then, there's a U-Migregor award for gratuitous nudity, but a couple of

(01:47:45):
sexy scenes, one in particular, yeah, is the oral sex scene between Castle and Rushing. And then
they have a little weird kind of wrestling sex scene as well, which are kind of rolling and mounting
each other. But yes, let's just move on and say that's what we're going to choose. If I get so
birthday's those out for the next then archetypal Scottish moment, what did you go for for this?

(01:48:12):
Well, I was tempted to write casual racism, but then I had a member who I came from and I've gone
for Burnsome in Assembly. Yeah, that is what I put. I was tempted to just put any scene
involved in Gary David Raymond because it just seems so Scottish. Like, I was like, can I put that?

(01:48:33):
So yeah, I put a burn song. And of course, the title of the film, a fond kiss. So yeah, it's
actually a burn song. I mean, tradesmen mercilessly roast the niche of it. It's pretty Scottish.
Or two tradesmen picking on one tradesman. It's just, you know, about the way that Casim's
away on his phone and you just hear a ring of emergency in the background. We had to fuck a U-go

(01:48:55):
and I had been fucking useless anyway. I don't know that donut in a weak big man.
And then our last award then is Sean Connery awards for who wins the movie? What did you go for?
Like, I think we're on the same page here. I wanted to give it to Gerhard Kelly because he just

(01:49:18):
absolutely steals the film for me. And he's an out, as you say, it's less than five minutes.
Yeah. If I think about this film, I will think about Gary Lee, Stabemakai, Raymond Merns,
and Gerhard Kelly. And maybe the scene where Casim's going down on Rushing. However,
you have to give it to Eva Barthistle. Like, she delivers a great performance. She's in most of the film.

(01:49:42):
She is brilliant. And as I said earlier, some of the raw emotions, some of the line she delivers,
the way she portrays the character, the despair, the love, I, yeah. She wins it for me, but Gerhard Kelly's
a very fucking close second. Yeah, it definitely gets, was the award they have in the

(01:50:02):
We watch a bullse for someone who comes Dion. Dion Waders. Yeah.
Dion Waders. If we had the Dion Waders award for coming in and just pulling everyone away
for a few minutes, he would be the Dion Waders of A-Fone Kiss.
And I have to say, from now on, if you've picked something that I have not seen and I'm not aware of,
I am not going to look up the cast list before because I didn't do it for this. So I know I

(01:50:26):
do a Gerhard Kelly, right? And so when she goes see the priest and he pops up, I was like, oh, fuck.
Just to make it appear, she's like, hello, five, six, and there. He's spangled.
Wonderful. Yeah. Okay, so if you want to watch A-Fone Kiss, it's available on YouTube. It will take

(01:50:48):
one hour and 40 of your Earth minutes to watch a well worth a watch. Very, very interesting film.
And what a watch and joy. You know, I would say of like Ken Loach's Scottish films. Yeah,
they'd enjoy it as much as the Angel Shayer or Sweet Sixteen, or my name is Joe, probably not.

(01:51:10):
But I still really enjoy that. So it's definitely worth having a watch.
It's probably on the, if you're going, if you're introducing someone to Ken Loach's Scottish films
and you want to ease them in, Angel Shayer's probably the easiest one. Yeah. Then you would go with
A-Fone Kiss, then oh, fuck, it's tough. The next two, like both absolutely incredible films. But

(01:51:36):
what do you expose them to first? My name is Joe, Sweet Sixteen. Like, how badly do you want to
scar them? I know. I mean, my name is, they, they're all, I mean, of the three films, I kind of
remember how Angel Shayer ends. I think it does have a reasonably upbeat ending. Yeah, it does.
It ends pretty happily, I think. Yeah. A-Fone Kiss does have a not-be-ending as well. You know, I mean,

(01:52:02):
you're sort, well, the ending is going to challenge you, because you can feel really sorry for
Kasim's mum and dad. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. The so upset. And he's, you know, he's,
he's rejecting his family's way of life for Rochene. But it's still sort of nice that they get together.
My name is Joe in Sweet Sixteen. They're pretty fucking bleak. The last, the last sort of 20 minutes of

(01:52:31):
those films are, you know, quite bleak. Yeah. Dave McCoy doesn't get a lot of gardening work done
at the end of my name is Joe's. I mean, he's hanging out into the garden, but he's, yeah,
it's hanging over there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's out there. I know. Anyway. So A-Fone Kiss was my choice,
which means that it comes back to you for the next episode. So what are you going to be watching in

(01:52:55):
Japan when you're not watching a similar wrestling? Well Greg, for the next episode, I've picked
something I've wanted to do for a very long time. And because I'm away in work-ordiness and we've
got an extra week, I figured, pick something that's a little bit longer. So one of my favourite TV
shows and one of my favourite comedians, we're going back to 2010 and delving inside the mind of Brian

(01:53:16):
Limand, who we're going to be, Dee Dee, Jacqueline McCafferty and Falcon Oof, among others.
And Raymond Burns is in quite a lot of sketches in this show. We're going to look at the very first
series of Limay's show, which is available on BBCI Player and also available on YouTube.
There are six episodes in series. There is technically a seventh because it is the pilot,

(01:53:40):
which is on iPlayer and on YouTube. If you include a pilot, which I will be doing, there's seven episodes.
Seven episodes. Awesome. First series of Limay's show. Cool. Look forward to that. Not watched
that I think since it came out. It's been getting, I mentioned John Robbins once already, but
John Robbins mentions Limay. Oh, what? So with air this year, it's almost every single week.

(01:54:04):
So, Desperate to get him in for the UNESCO accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, brilliant. Oh, wow. That's forward to watching that. Fantastic.
Okay. Right. Well, thank you very much for listening. Everyone. Hope you enjoyed the show.
If you'd like to get in touch with us, you can email us on cultureswalley@gmail.com with any

(01:54:24):
recommendations or any new stories. Or if you just want to say hello, you can follow us on
Insta@cultureswalley.com and I haven't said this for ages. I don't know why. Please give us a little rating,
review, subscription on our YouTube and Spotify. Wherever you get your podcasts, we are available.
Give us a little like, review, subscribe, unsubscribe and re-subscribe. Whatever you want to do, it does help.

(01:54:46):
This show. And we have a wonderful website as well, don't we, Greg? We do. You can, you can
find us at cultureswalley.com where you can find things to other episodes and bits and bobs about
Scottish media. So come and check us out there. And remember, we do this for fuck all. We do this just
for the love of it. And thank you for the content that we give you every two weeks. We lose money

(01:55:09):
doing this podcast. We do. Actually, this is a was making enterprise. Greg pays for the website.
I pay for the hosting. And then we sometimes have to buy the films that work well, I don't.
What we're review, we lose money on this. Give us a little like and subscribe.
Give us a like. You're fucking ungrateful bastards.

(01:55:31):
Right. Yeah, appreciate you all, of course. Right, Greg, up to anything exciting this weekend?
No, just I guess they have a bit of a clear out in readiness for moving at some point.
And then next to fuck yeah, it's a five or six piece. But no, nothing exciting this weekend.
You're getting ready for your Japan adventure. Yeah, yeah, just going to be, well, no,

(01:55:55):
I'm going to be spending this weekend editing this episode and
no, yeah, packing for Japan. So, yeah, but that'll pretty much be my weekend.
Right, well, I will see you on the next episode. And until then, I will say sayonara.
Sayonara. Yeah, enjoy your time in the land of the rising sun.
Thanks, man. Oh, I'm kidding. Or maybe the Sean Conway, where's the Snipes?

(01:56:19):
Not wearing trousers. Yeah. Yeah. We kept these slippers on.
Since she's brilliant. Right. Okay. And until next time. Until next time.
Come on. I think I fucking will.
You're fucked, bastard.
I can't eat Dalima.
Can't see from home.
They heard the other, I can't see.
You're not gonna get a lot of pressure.
Ah, ah, you're not playing your day.

(01:56:40):
I don't know what I'm gonna do. Let's eat.
You're such fucking bastard, bro.
Come, do not do it.
Right.
[MUSIC]

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Episode 127 - Ae Fond Kiss (2004)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 127 - Ae Fond Kiss (2004)