Episode Transcript
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[Music]
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Hello and welcome to the Culture Swally, a podcast dedicated to Scottish news and pop culture.
My name is Nicky and I'm joined as always by the man who lost three years of his life to
heroin and five years on a methodone program that was meant to get him off it. It's Greg, how are you
today, buddy? Three years of life to head away. I was meant to say head away, and I'm not a
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fucking mispronounced, of course, I pronounced it correctly. I had to head away. Yes, of course,
you didn't. It was just a little joke about what we're going to be talking about later. How are you
today, buddy? All right. I think I mentioned in the last podcast, we are in the midst of GCSE exams
and all this daughter. We're not massively motivated. She's got two left to do now,
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but they're not until the becafter next. But yeah, I'll be glad when they're finished,
but then we've got the wait until August. Do we get the results? Oh, it's a horrible wait.
So, yeah, so yeah, it's been a little bit. I can mean to be fair, she tells me it's not going well.
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She'll say, well, I don't think I did too well on that one, but she will also say when she
thinks it's went okay. I don't think she cares enough to lie about it. If an exam has been
a complete disaster, I don't think she's just like, well, fuck it, it's been a scene or so.
Well, of course, you know, you do your best to try and impress upon them how important
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these GCSE exams are and blah, blah, blah, and how, you know, you know, the better you do, the more
choice you'll have when you go forward and they are important and my wife comes at it from a different
direction. She comes at it from the well. You don't need to have been academically successful
to be successful. And that is true, but I think the people who are not academically successful
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who are successful are people who are very, very motivated. And I'm not sure that my 17-year-old
daughter at the moment is all that motivated. She should actually. Her motivations are
volnwies and hanging about with her boyfriend at the moment. So yeah, because of course, that's the
the famous, was it every year for exam results day? Jeremy Clarkson tweets out, the, you know,
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don't worry if you're A-level results aren't what you're hoping for. I got a C in two use. And here I am
46 years later with my own pub. But yeah, I know there's a, yeah, I think that goes with that. I remember
getting my exam results and not being delighted with them, but then I still got into uni. So I'm okay.
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And then then that's it. No one. It doesn't matter a fuck after that. You know, what you got. So
yeah, but anyway, good luck. I'm sure it'll all go. I mean, I got, I got, I did okay in my standard grades,
which for international listeners are the Scottish equivalent of the GCSEs. I could have done better
than my highers because I didn't, I didn't have the grades to get into uni, but I did do a
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hair national diploma in communications and the media with a view to going into the second year
of a degree course and then didn't bother doing that and spent fucking 25 years in the hospitality
industry instead. Yeah, I'm always, I'm the same. I did pretty well my standard grades and then my
highers. I, I, I did it a weird way in terms of I did quite a few things in my fifth year, which
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it was almost like doing more standard grades. And then in my last year, I ended up doing four
higher. So I did like two hires in fifth year and then four in sixth year. So I have got, you know,
I've got six hires, but I've got an A, a B and four C's. Yeah. It's not like, and it's in magic,
but you know, I've got an A, my A was in drama. So, okay, yeah, this is a riveted podcast,
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and two old cuts talking about the fucking exam results. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I am massively jetlagged,
as well in shatter because I got back a couple of days ago from Japan. And yeah, I'm, I'm knackered.
So we'll see how this goes today. I'm sure I was looking forward to it because it's going to
park me up and, uh, or wake me up, but I have, I have, I've been up, I'm sure the content will
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appear because of both of it will be, but I have been up since three thirty this morning because I
can't seem to sleep. So it's a bit of a bastard, but never mind. I'm sure it'll be okay. And you know,
something, normally I would get up and just do stuff because I'd be productive at that time,
but I'm so tired, I'm just, I'm just shuffling around and just moving stuff from one spot to the other.
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And, you know, like, not actually doing anything productive. So, um, yeah, never mind. I'm hopeful it
will get solved over the weekend and I can get back to normal. But of course, shall we have a look
at what has been happening in Scotland over the last couple of weeks? Cool, the jingle.
[Music]
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Hello, this is the Outdoor Heavard East Broadcasting Co-operation. And here is what's been going on
in the new. Okay, Greg, what have you seen in the last couple of weeks that has been happening
in Scotland that has caught your lovely eye? Well, I think, um, we need to mention,
the most important thing that's happened since the last day we recorded is the Dandy Dawons
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one in the cut. Oh, God. I cannot quite believe it and I will never forget that night for the rest
on my puff. It was in a small little bar in Tokyo, just me and a few other people, and we were watching
it on my girlfriend's phone and yeah, I just, I couldn't believe it. I just went crazy when we won.
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As soon as it got to 90 minutes, I said to her, right, if we can just not concede an extra time,
we're winning this. I was convinced we're winning this. If we got him to penalties, I knew it would be.
And I, yeah, but I still couldn't believe it when we did. But yeah, amazing, 35 years. But yes,
Scottish Cup winners. And yeah, it was amazing. Absolutely amazing. What, what I've enjoyed perhaps,
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even more than the scenes of celebration in Aberdeen and in pubs in Aberdeen, like fans who
didn't make it down to Hamden, that tickets and stuff. What I've enjoyed even more than that is
the fucking sewer grapes from Parkhead, the fact that they had, I think, what they had gone out and they
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had, they had started getting the tee shots printed and everything before a ball had even been kicked
in the final. They were so sure they were that they were going to turn Aberdeen over them and do the
treble. And you know, it's just this, it's the so incredulous. And then the whole, well, you know,
anybody can win a game in penalties and Aberdeen, Aberdeen, Aberdeen were just, they were playing very
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pessimistic football. You know, they weren't even trying to score. But what I would say is, I think that,
I think it is true that penalties can go either way, but I think that it's the club,
it's the team that fucking really keeps their head that wins a penalty shootout. You know what,
I mean, there is skill, it's not just luck fucking winning a penalties, you know what I mean,
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like, think about the pressure and the players going up to take the kick, the pressure and the goalkeeper,
you know what I mean, who, the goalkeeper has got a 50/50 chance of saving it or not, you know what I
mean, really, I think it takes a lot of fucking skill to win a penalty shootout. I don't care what anybody
says. I don't know how true it is, but I did read online. I didn't check the source because obviously
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I was away, so I wasn't really looking at much. Since I come back, I have watched that penalty shootout
about 10 times. And, and there was something that got reported that apparently, like Aberdeen had been
watching Celtic training and they discovered that Schmichel had a dodgy right shoulder. And if you,
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watch the penalty shootout, every single one of our penalties goes to the left and like, high up
or low down on the left. And he dives the opposite way every time because his shoulders, until the
last penalty where he does dive the correct way, but still, still score. And yeah, I wonder if that's
true. I'd love it. It's like, alternate, not shithouse, it's nice, but of research. And yeah, but
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when you watch the penalties, every one we send to the left. So, yeah. Well, anyway, I was thoroughly,
thoroughly pleasant weekend and a week, really, sitting in my office, going through Twitter or
X, I should say, and just enjoying the videos of all the fans celebrating, but as I say, even more so,
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enjoying the, the incredulous Celtic fans who had gone hand in convinced that they were treble winners.
Yeah, I missed a post of that, but I might go back and try and see if I can, can see some of the
the videos and catch up with them because, yeah, be lovely to see and suck in the seed. Yeah,
something, suck in the seed. What a great expression. Right, then. So, getting on with the news,
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very well done to Aberdeen. So, my first story this week is from GlasgowWorld.com, which is a Facebook
account. And the headline is, "Swally, peaces and pies I met the Glasgow chef bringing the best
Scottish food and drink to London." We spoke with Glasgow chef Greg Boyd about the growth of the
old hag in what comes next for the Scottish cafe. He's, Greg's fulfilled a long, held dream
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by opening a Scottish food and drink shop in North London. Long cues have formed outside the old
hag named in honour of Haggis Neeps and Tatties. The first dish he made, as a lockdown experiment,
to test the market in the capital for Scottish food. I headed down to the big smoke, this is
I didn't head down to the big smoke at them. Speaking in the voice of the journalist,
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I remember when the big smoke this week, I headed down to the big smoke to catch up with Greg and
find out a bit more that the old hag in his plans for the future. So Greg says, "The idea of the
shop itself is that there's nothing like it in London." I think there's a lot of scots living in
London who miss the taste of home. There are also a lot of tourists who are interested in Scottish
foods but don't necessarily know a lot about it. So what I try to do here is combine maybe what
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people miss if it's a morning roll, empire biscuit or a can of iron broo, with people who are discovering
Scottish food for the first time. We wanted to focus on quality. Everything being baked on site,
getting processed in from areas of Scotland, people may not even know about, whether it
be coffee, roasted in sky, chocolate made in the east end of Glasgow, beautiful smoked fish from
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the highlands and we've got some fantastic cheese from the borders. So it's trying to take a wee bit
of everything from across Scotland, the showcase of Eddie Best's project. We started in a market four
years ago just seven hagas. I mean that was the idea that start was just to do hagas,
neeps and tatties, change people's perception of what hagas is. That was quite a tough sell
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and 40 degree heat in the middle of summer but people were always keen to try something different
in London. I think when that worked to an extent we tried to add a wee bit more each year. So we got
a second market stall and then we started doing pop-ups and events. We started working with the
Scottish government, we started working with other businesses and then once we got, we got to
enough following we took the weeb and opened the shop. Greg was an economist before he was a chef.
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He said he says one of my jobs was to look at how areas can change over time and who's living there
what jobs they have etc. So I was actually able to cheat a wee bit and look at the demographic of the
area and work out where most Scottish expats were living. It just so happened to be Islington and
Wonsworth in the south. So because I'm north-based, Islington is the first site. Over time we
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let you try and open the south-land and cafe as well. As well as a Scottish one, hopefully
Edinburgh this year will be the second site and then south-land and next year. The reason for this
one is partly because I live here but also because there's a really strong Scottish community
and it's only five or ten minutes from Kings Cross where a lot of people come in from Edinburgh
and then extra ten minutes to Houston if you come in from Glasgow. So yeah so he's selling them
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like well-fired rolls with like wow a totally scorned square sausage. Haggis obviously. Yeah,
good luck to him. I mean the picture of the well of the of the Glasgow rolls I mean they sort of
take the expression well-fired to I knew them it but yeah there is there is black as a bloody
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manor's thug. Oh that's brilliant. I mean obviously we're both expats in terms of being able to
get a hold of the food that we desire and love and thankfully I've found somewhere online I can buy
butt raise from but I don't know it was always reliant on people visiting or whenever I went home
you know I'd always come back with like six seven packs and rewis and stock up in the freezer but
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yeah this is great that people can have access to the the treats and the food that they desire
and say yeah it's a brilliant idea. Yeah for sure. Here's a question for you see if you hadn't
of been in Japan. I'm asking this because you just mentioned they pick up
rewis and stuff and you went home. If you hadn't been in Japan do you think you would have fallen
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over to Aberdeen on the Sunday for the parade of the inshie? No I wouldn't have because
if I'd been in Amsterdam that Sunday there was a massive toy fair in Harlem that I would have
gotten to and looking at all the photos and videos online I'm got it I missed it but here it was in
Tokyo so you know it was fine but yeah I would have had a ticket for that so I would have went to that.
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Yeah plus I would have had to I mean I would have had to book the flight like the Saturday night
after you know the final and then I could have you know when I got the first flight on the Sunday morning
and then went to the parade and then come back but yeah I don't know if I would have to be honest
like and I don't know if I would have went to the the final like I I probably wouldn't have I don't
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know I might have done I don't know but it's impossible because everything had been booked before we got
to the final and yeah but I'd imagine I would have thought initially I know I'm probably not going
to go because we'll just lose but then the closer time got I would have had fear of missing out
and yeah I would have put out feelers and if I could have got a ticket then yeah I probably would have
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just booked a last minute flight and gone yeah I don't know it's been there for the parade yeah yeah
yeah but yeah it was a very good occasion and a very good day out and it's something that people
all yeah remember like I know yeah our friends took his boy to it and yeah that's something he'll
it must have been a great weekend our one of our friends you know he took his son to the final
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and then went to the parade the next day so you know what a weekend like amazing so yeah it would
have been a great a great occasion and yes and then I would have got stalked up with some buttries as well
whilst I was there well I'm in London this week so if time allows I might I might go check the old
hangout if you're in London go and see Greg and give them some business so that's my first story
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this week which sure which yours my first story is from the Scottish Sun this week and the headline is
Nick Flick Fiasco and we are heading back to the prison service Greg we're going to Barlinnie
the Scottish prison service has come under fire for allowing inmates to watch ex-rated content
behind bars lags are permitted to rent from a catalog of thousands of 18 rated DVDs which include
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films about serial killers and sex beasts and cons can even borrow 2005 crime drama prison break
which tells in detail the fictional story of a us jailbreak like I could just see them getting
hints and tits from you I know I know I'm who get into the fucking blueprints for Barlinnie tattooed
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on their backs yeah we we we Jimmy for the Milton right in that mafam's body we're a bairou or something
other titles available include serial killer classic silence of the lambs
and psychological thriller Dexter a series about a killer police forensic officer
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a source said some of the depraved crimes this lot of committed could easily be adapted into a Hollywood
blockbuster the last thing they need is to be given any twisted ideas they shouldn't even be allowed
to have TVs in the first place also available for prison boofy nights is 50 shades of gray
american pie and broke back mountain lags can also kick back and watch a documentary about
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Fred and Rose West but critics have blasted the film fiasco in our urging prison officers to
review the rules a spokesman for the prison officers association told the mail online given all
the fact are such as over clouding drug use bullying and organized crime gang activities inside our
prisons the last thing we need is anything else adding up to the tension or temperatures
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is something the sps should be reviewing as a priority would have you to limiting the availability
these films elsewhere the scotch conservatives are urging s in p ministers to order jail chiefs to
remove the x-rated flicks shadow justice secretary leham keroset ordinary scots will be a
poll the inmates are provided with x-rated movies by prisons englanded whales have banned 18 rated
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movies and tv shows from their prison 12 years ago and it's about time the scotch princess service
followed suit many of the prisoners at barlinny will be behind bars for violent crimes so it's common
sense they should not be able to access graphically violent material about serial killers and torturers
prisoners trying to get clean but also not be helped by having access to content that promotes drug use
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s in p ministers must intervene and immediately direct the sps to remove violent or sexual films
for our prisons scotch's prison service spokesman added access to watching tv days is a privilege
not a right and it's available at the discretion of the governor so outrage that they're watching
american pie in 50 shades agree i mean the thing is like you have to imagine that being in jail is
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probably fucking really really boring so if like there's you know like trouble it's probably
i love it probably stems from the fact that everybody's fucking bored you know you get the time
to make enemies know that at least if they're like occupied with movies or video games or whatever
it just helps them pass the time you know it's like yeah yeah i did find it interesting i think the
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the debate is that they shouldn't be watching violent films and things like that and it says that like
the England and Wales they don't allow 18 rated content so i don't know you know i guess they're
just all watching harry potter or something down there whereas you know obviously this limits
probably don't have like scum or something in the library um or you know anything i'd
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prison break i do find amusing but what's the harp what are they gonna do like get hints and tips
for how to get a prison like i don't see the issue of that and plus the first season prison breaks
for no more else so you know it's it's great that they can do that i just tell people fucking need to
get get a grip you know i mean that you do i think if if if someone's been said to prison they
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it's like the ult you know they after execution they can prison is like the ultimate fucking punishment
you know i mean so they you know why the the fact that you can just come and go is your please
for your sentence they why fucking punish them anymore or you can't watch the tally you can't
you watch prison break you can't you can't you watch some shite soft porn the best of a book that
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was quite successful ten years ago you know what i mean is that you fucking you know they're in jail
just as it matter yeah what does it matter exactly what does it have them watching tally tub
as you're saying that like that's obviously you know not the type of thing that we'd send you
over the edge as well that'd be punishment so um yeah i i guess there is a you know it's the old argument
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of oh it's too soft nowadays the ball got play stations and their cells and stuff and well yeah
but i guess it it does stop prison riots or anything so yeah if they're if they're happy sitting
watching the sex in the city box set then at least they're not boiling up pants a boiling water
and sugar to throwing people's face well we were invited down to our neighbors for some
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drinks at the night and the wife was saying how her husband's been traveling a lot and we were talking
about what we'd all be watching on the tally and she said oh she said they've not been able to
keep up on my stuff because husbands traveling in their programs that we watch together she said so
i ended up going back and watching and starting sex in the city again like the original tv cd
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and she's like i'd forgotten how graphic it it could be at times and i was thinking you think that's
graphic fucking very sheltered life you've lived what a middle class thing to say oh sex in the city's so
graphic life what were you thinking i recommend into your instead pigs and nickers for
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well i don't know there's more graphic stuff in my twitter feed at the minute so this
you're still getting that what was it try not to get a boner there's a few accounts there's try not
to get a boner there's try not to come spelt c un but i don't know like it it sort of goes away for a
while and then every now and again it just like appears on bidden the one thing that comes up on
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twitter all the time and i don't know why and i heard somebody else i think it was john robbins on the
raid when he was john robbins saying the same thing about his twitter feed and why he's come off to
it all together it's because you get a lot of videos of people like either beating the shit out of
each other or being shot i've seen a couple of like fairly violent cc tv footage people get ran
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over people falling off things i don't know i would imagine like the algorithm would be
would be influenced by what you look for yeah yeah but i've never gone and looked for like neither hardcore
pornography or extremely violent content on twitter so i don't know why these videos are
invading my timeline and but it doesn't i don't see anything on the one you know yeah i
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i think it's been a very very very long time since i've been on x or twitter because i've obviously
heard it's just a cesspit so i don't go on and i'm the same i don't want to see like those those
violent kind of things so that i did see on red at the other day i was it that was this morning actually
there was a video and it it did maybe laugh like the headlight was if she laughed at this she couldn't
help but it was so funny and it was like a fight in a street in like sight of America or something
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and some woman was upset and she's kind of charged at this guy with her handbag about to hit him
and he just he just kicks her in the face and she goes flying back and then shawn michael's theme
music kicks in because it's exactly it just delivers a sweet chin music to her that was like
awful I watched it about six times there was one that made me laugh i don't know if you know well
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you i know you see about a British television but i think it's the jet the jet to advert that has the
that you know coming hold my hand um yeah so somebody had posted a video of like two
but fairly overweight guys in swimming trunks haven't like a square go and next to a pool and
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i think i resort somewhere and that music's playing over the top and that did make me laugh so it's
probably because i watch that four or five times that's probably why i'm getting this like
these anti-social videos because sometimes are some funny ones yeah i'll see what i get popped up in
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my algorithm now after watching that but yeah it was so funny just fucking kicks are square in the face
i know i'm cute i think i'm sexy i got the looks fucking oh anyway so um yeah we'll see what the
prisoners of bar linny are watching now because they won't be allowed to watch anything too violent
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what else have you seen this week well we're for anybody who's looking to enjoy the summer in
Scotland apparently the weather forecast the outlook is not looking too good and i wish they
mean oh that from spending many a summer grown up in Scotland but you're not guaranteed a sunny day
um so this is tenance the headline needs scots offered rain checks to keep spits up in the face of a
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wet summer so as Scotland braces for another summer of relentless rain and chilly temperature
drinks brand tenance is stepping in to lift the nation's spits and i bid to defy the dreedy forecast
the company is introducing physical rain checks offering residents tongue-in-cheek reasons to stay
positive and weather the storm alongside a chance to win cash prizes started next week a special
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ATM cash machine as we would call it with a pier on the out of sky an area notorious for last year's
soggy summer where locals ensure it's just 13 dry days between June and August i'd love a
fuck it i'd love a wet day the machine will dispense checks providing reasons to remain upbeat this year
such as enjoying pints with mates or airport beverages and an audit to the founding year of tenance
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the brewing company behind the campaign wucky locals might even pick up a check for 1,800
85 pounds wow yeah um it looks like somebody is going to be inside the ATM machine hand
hand and stuff because the picture is like someone's hand like emerging from the machine hand in
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somebody a check joanne motion who's the senior brand manager for tenance which has been assisting
the nation to brave the summer since 1885 commented brave in the summer here is practically a
national sport in Scotland as a nation we usually just soldier on with the fact that we can experience
four seasons in any one day but last year was particularly grim with the lift that we all got
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from having such a warm and sunny spring we thought we'd do something to offset the rubbish days
this summer and bring some joy rain or shine despite basking in the sunniest ever spring and record
summer has officially started with gale force winds in Scotland the met office predicts extended
spells of rain and potent winds in the north propelled by low pressure systems sweeping in from the
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Atlantic uh well London is going to enjoy highs of 21 degrees next week when i'm there and i really
want to be a fucking rain when i'm in the UK next week but i'm seeing from here um scotish cities
such as Glasgow and Edinburgh are expected to average a cooler 14.5 degrees with almost daily
rainfall having experience rain every day since summer began on the 1st of June and in the light of
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last year's washout the summer of 2024 was the wettest since 2015 tenants decided to keep spirits high
even when temperatures are annoyingly low additional rain checks will be issued in Glasgow next week
before being rolled out across other parts of Scotland and Northern Ireland in the summer
to make up with drawl all people need to do is track down a rain check ATM and figure out a special pin
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its specific location will be revealed on tenant social media channels on Monday i think i maybe
1885 might be the pin just reading that if you know what i'm saying so yeah i mean
that's a great fucking marketing campaign from tenants they've done some brilliant stuff
last few years something yeah they have yeah they've always um they've always been really good
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the kind of hitting that that mark and yeah that's brilliant and it makes light of the
the situation because yeah the the weather in Scotland is always unpredictable especially like in
the summer and then you do get like a heat wave but then yeah it'll piss a rain for a while it's
um yeah it's it's not the best so but yeah it's bringing a nice little bit of light into a bad situation
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i guess yeah i mean i don't mind the bit you know i mean they get up all of us found complaining about
the weather to be a fucking biggest waste of time because there's absolutely nothing you can do about it
you know what i mean it's hot you're gonna be hot if it's cold you're gonna be cold if it rains
you're gonna get wet what's exactly you just have to be able to adapt to it and just make sure
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you're prepared for all situations but yeah no i mean i imagine when you're there to here you probably
had to field questions from people back home or in other countries who say things like oh how do you
how do you cope with the heat in the summer yeah i'm like well just the same way i cope with
the fucking cold in the winter i'm not lifting Scotland you know i mean yeah i just dress accordingly
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yeah you just adapt that's the thing yeah i then went from well what at the moment here it's like
it's about 15 16 degrees in Amsterdam and it had been before i left and then when i was in
Tokyo it was like 27 28 degrees and pretty much every day and it was lovely but yeah the first day
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i did my body was adapting so i did sweat a little bit in terms of getting used to it but after that
i was fine and you know no problem at all because my body had adapted to to the weather and i was
dressing accordingly and yeah it was fine it was nice you with it at all so it's just be sensible
and i never once complained that oh it's too hot or oh it's you know this like fucking no it's
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lovely in the sunshine so no um but yeah that's lovely that ten answer to you and that is just
making light of the i guess the the Scottish weather as well is that is that is so yeah more cool stuff
from tenants there what's your next loading of this week? my next story it's about a sad one but the
reason i picked it was because i saw it and it just reminded me of an experience i had a couple of
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weeks ago and i wanted to to discuss with you anyway so um it's from the Scottish sun this week and
the headline is shut up shop a much loved music store in a major scott city has pulled the shutters down
after 11 years union vinyl located on the market braze steps and in verness closed on Saturday
just weeks after celebrating its anniversary the story was known for its extensive collection of
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albums although it did not stock music from some of today's most popular artists owner Nigel
Graham said we do have a certain type of customer if they're in a tailor swifter whatever they can
quite happily go to hmv for that instead classic albums like pink Floyd stark side of the moon
blondies parallel lines and fleetwood max rumours was only last a few days on the shelves at union
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vital. Nigel explained that the rising costs have become too much for the independent shop to handle
he told the press and journal the cost of living has proved too much unfortunately it was just not
sustainable to keep the shop going i had been looking for someone to take over but no one could get
it over the line it takes a special kind of person to do this job it's a passion product it's not for
(32:04):
the money the business was born at a Nigel's love for collecting records it began as a pop-up shop
in in verness later moving to academy street and then setting up on the market braze steps just
in 2021 he opened a second store called vinyl to vintage in his hometown of nern despite the
second shop success that in verness location has become financially unviable he said the overheads are
(32:26):
not as high for our shop in nern but in verness we're paying a lot more and it just got too much we just
want to get into customers they say there is a big vinyl resurgence but i don't think there is
we've never really seen the impact of that big businesses and corporate companies do kill the
independent shops so yeah the the shop has closed a little independent record shop now the reason
(32:48):
this caught my eye and i really was thought to cover it is because i'd admit as you when i was in
japan i went to tower records yeah i took you and it's eight floors and i i actually went twice i
went myself one day and then i'd said my girlfriend was working that day and i'd said to her art
like it was amazing so we went back and did the same again went to eight floor and just walked down
(33:10):
and it's incredible in terms of just all this and especially the i think it's the sixth floor
is like all the vinyl and they had like second hand vinyl they had new vinyl and they even had
like a broodog fridge there yeah you could buy a can of broodog and drink it whilst you're browsing
and shopping at the vinyl floor which i thought was brilliant idea but what i loved about it was that
(33:35):
and my girlfriend said this as well it's it's inspiring to walk round a record shop like that or a
music shop and just picking stuff up and you know i i think back to how many times i would spend my
Saturdays in hmv virgin fort one-up and just buying a CD of like a band i'd maybe never heard of but
(33:57):
i like the look of and you know i discovered so many bands like that yeah yeah i think the one that
always sticks out for me is more historical society i remember going to hmv just to term and
i wanted to buy a CD that day their first album was just come out i picked it up i was like oh this
looks good Scottish band and even yeah in tower records i listened like they had listening posts
(34:18):
i listened to a couple of albums and i'm like fuck like one in particular was this japanese artist and
the music was incredible like they couldn't understand a fucking word but yeah you know the music was
great and um so yeah i took a photo and i'm gonna try and track down some of their music it just
found it really inspiring and you're really thinking like oh fuck you know even the second hand albums
(34:40):
i picked out a copy i didn't buy it because i was like i didn't know how to get this home without
maybe damaging it or something but they had the debut album by the supernatural's
it doesn't matter anymore with the jimankae and instantly i'm like holy fuck i haven't thought about
this album in years and it's a great album i kind of wish i'd bought it now but nevermind um but
(35:05):
yeah that just a lot of stuff like that just inspired and they had um even had the train spotting
soundtrack on a special like offer uh that was that was cheap and it was just like wow it's awesome
to your point i remember going to watch the supernatural's launch that album in uh virgin on
union street in an abridine one month time from college but kind of walking up they they they
(35:30):
they're a couple of songs off the album they were doing signings and stuff had to get back to college
so i couldn't stay i just i managed just to catch them perform then i had to get back to college
um but that's a good but that's well that was one of the great things about like a proper record shop
you know they can like you can a band could come and play live for like 10 15 minutes to promote
their album and you know sign a few records or sign a few t-shirts so whatever it was you know it was
(35:55):
a real you know that you would and especially like i think about abridine shop's like one-up and
fuck they were they were sort of like that community spots really and yeah and one-up always had stuff
that you couldn't get anywhere else that you yes you stuff it but whether it was i don't know like a
a Japanese radio head t-shirt or you know what i mean or an import of an oasis single you know
(36:21):
they could america and import or something like that you know it would always be stuff that for like
really serious uh music collectors you know what i mean um and i thought that was about the shame that
it's difficult for these uh types so because what one up is going that was since it's not there anymore
yeah when well ago yeah i loved one up and it was always my bedroom walls were covered in posters
(36:45):
from one up yeah i would always like it was a couple of i had a couple of therapy posters but like
obviously they would have the posters to promote a new single or the album you'd wait like a month or
so and then when i was buying someone i would say the guy is there any chance i could buy that poster
you know 100% of the time i got it for free yeah and but as long as you waited the the promotional
(37:07):
periods over yeah no no bother just take it um yeah and that's brilliant because obviously i
always went back if i was if i was in virgin rich and v in soy cd that i wanted to buy yeah at nine
times at ten i would go to one up and buy it there instead because one day would probably be cheaper
and two it just felt nicer to you know be walking around we are one up back yeah exactly yeah
(37:31):
exactly exactly and what was the was the member of the old fault bags that were like yellow and black
i think they're yellow and they had a sort of record on it on the record on the bag
was that or was it my thing kind of one up because the one up bags were blue and white wouldn't they
one up bags of blue and white the the fault ones i remember were like the clear c-through bags
(37:51):
they had like the red fault like splat on it yeah um maybe i mixed them maybe
the different one um definitely record short but not sure but yeah it was um yeah it's such a
a terrible shame kind of the the decline of those stores and it's a sea it was just i just found
it so inspiring walking round and it was nice to just be doing that and listening to different
(38:15):
music and seeing what was out and just like yeah such a shame that but we've always got those
memories Greg of childhood of being able to do those things there used to be a big tour records in
Glasgow and um a gail sheet next to the human's umbrella it's been it's still empty no one's ever
taken it um that's the where that was a shop that bon Jovi famously sang a song out of the window
(38:37):
in the nineties when they were there doing a record signing before they uh they were probably playing
at hamden or i-brox or somewhere like that um it's not like i mean owning a record shop or a bookshop
or an eventaged toy shop or something like that it's it's kind of the fucking dream job
yeah you know what i mean it's unforged unfortunately i don't think anybody ever got rich um from
(39:01):
running and they could independent shop like that you know what i mean no i think it has to be a
a passion project and something that you're yeah that you really have to have a desire for and you
have to realize that yeah you're probably not gonna make a fortune no from from doing that it has
to be something that you're you're doing for the love of um especially say that would yeah be an
(39:22):
absolute dream to have like a vintage toy store or something you just yeah it's it's so expensive
and you know you have to rely on selling the right things and stuff and i think we've just got
that before like it's a it's a nice idea to have to be able to just have all this cool stuff but then
the end of the day you're gonna have to have like a wall of funco pops just to pay the bills
(39:44):
i don't i don't i know anyway well maybe one day maybe one day maybe one day Greg
but yes that is unfortunately um union vinyl has closed down so good luck uh to they've still got
their name or their nairn store so um yeah good luck to them with that um anything else you've
(40:04):
seen this week Greg nope that's all I use yeah the only other thing i saw that i was very excited about
was that the uh original cast of the high life are reuniting for a musical
uh yeah that's gonna be next year yeah so it's coming to Aberdeen so yeah it's all um it's all for
main cast members Alan Cumming Forbes Massin Shibon Redmond and Patrick Reichart are all gonna be in
(40:28):
the show so yeah i think it's um to set the the musical air school she has been sold and the crew are
fighting for their future so yeah well kind of we'd love to see that so i wonder uh yeah i think
it'd be amazing to see that and of course as much as we love the high life which we covered many many
episodes ago on the culture swalley so it'll be an ideal time to have a relisten to that if you're
(40:52):
rewatching before going to see the live show um okay right well before we go on to what we're
gonna be talking about today let's have a little word from our sponsors what's she i'm enjoying
eating in classes i'll be too i've always loved learning of those to keys for luck too
ah top banny you can use a get in a one day no these one days these are loving design one days
(41:13):
we are talking revolutionary new high security double glazing one days here oh i know where the keys are
feel safe be secure don't sign until you've seen living design
okay so it was your choice to pick our content for this week so what we're gonna be talking about
(41:36):
thanks very much Greg well today we are going to be talking about the first series of
lima show created by and starring Brian Limand uh lima show is a surreal Scottish comedy sketch show
broadcast on bpc2 Scotland uh the first series which was approved following a successful pilot in
february 2009 first aired on the eleventh of january 2010 and ran weekly first six episodes featuring
(42:03):
characters such as dd falconhoof jackalin mccafurty and mr mullvenny at the show ran for a three
series and a christmas special so gregg did you watch lima show when it first aired and what did you
think of it on this rewatch i did watch it when it first came out because i was living in
in scotland at the time it was i seem to recall the kefir bit of anticipation i knew a wee bit about
(42:28):
limi i was racking my brains to try and figure out how but um i had i had heard excerpts of his podcast
is obviously very very early um in gaidger with podcasts limi and he had to limi's world of glass
school so i i think i heard a couple of like i don't know i don't know how or where i heard them
(42:49):
so i was about i was slightly familiar with them um but i remember there'd been a fair bit of
anticipation and build up to the program coming on uh on uh pbc scotland and it came out but i hadn't
seen it since that first time you know what i mean when it was first shown and then you know i i don't know
i don't i i i i i i don't think i i religiously watched every episode of either necessarily you know
(43:14):
what i mean at the time so it was quite good to sit down and watch it again i mean the thing that strikes
me about limi is one of those people who it can really really reduce you to like tears of laughter
but you're never quite sure why you know what i mean you say and i think he's got sort of he's got
kind of funny bones i suppose is the best way to describe him and in the in the humor in limi show
(43:39):
you know we're supposed to go and get into it in detail but it's quite abstract it's often very surreal
you know it's the the the construction of the sketches aren't necessarily always that traditional
you know what i mean there's you know there's there's not always like they don't always end the
sketches with like a big laugh out loud moment you know what i mean the laugh out loud moment make
(44:00):
coming the middle when then you know it's just he's um so yeah like and you know a long times inside
like i follow them on uh twitter and he's he's such good fucking value he's just so funny at twitter
um especially when you see him sort of commenting on the james cordon car share thing honestly
(44:21):
always just i mean i watched a couple of them this morning i was just an absolute note but uh yeah
you know well since i went back when i watched the pilot to begin with and i'd forgotten just how
sort of off the wall they could be but when you sit but when you settle into it it's and you just sort
uh go along for the ride it's he's so funny no he really is um i was similar i mean i was living in
(44:45):
Dubai at the time when it first aired but there was i was downloading a lot of stuff at the time like
i was right into my Scottish comedy and stuff in terms of like the around of that time still game was
you know me wearing and um there was a few other shows that were on like legit and um yeah a few
other things i thought Berniston would have been about you that time as well so i think yeah i was just
(45:11):
keen to get any kind of Scottish content so i did remember downloading the the first series of
limit show and just right up my street in terms of kind of a bit odd very dark and just surreal
and ridiculous as well there's so many sketches in in this first series that just may be burst out
laughing and you're trying to explain them or why they're funny but and you're kind of like
(45:36):
why is this funny but it's so funny one of my favorites is in the first episode and it's when
Limmy has his new girlfriend say that but it's an old man and you just think and the payoff of the
last part when you know he's telling his friends turns turns out she was an old man and she's just like
(45:58):
I just just I tried to explain that to someone like why is that funny i don't know it just it's
fucking hilarious and he just has a knack of of something that it will just be a one line or something
that that comes out of a random sketch that he's just burst out laughing i mean i think another
(46:23):
perfect example i think it is in the pilot it's one of the the last sketches and it's just a woman
hysterical on the phone because mom's had her head kicked her okay okay thanks bye
that was a police it's about mom she's had her head kicked then
(46:44):
oh mom she's had her head kicked then because it's something that you're not expecting at all
like where the fuck did that come from it's but it's just so funny and i agree i'm i still you know
follow um let me i often will spend that evening just watching his twitch clips on youtube just
(47:10):
you can easily spend like two hours just of him talking about some of black on surprise surprise or
he's another favorite is the one when he does with the um he does talk about the bobby davirou
in the stalks um sketch a lot um when he's on twitch but it's just yeah he's just got this absolute
knack of just coming out with just some of the funniest things and it's random things that just
(47:37):
with the appeal to my humor again in the pilot one of the sketches is just here's a practical joke
for people pretend you've never heard of the show shank retention
it doesn't allow me to eat it all when he's like you know just when you have it just that small talk
conversation just when the middle one would just say oh gonna drop it
(47:57):
but then a couple of weeks later bring it up again
say why did you say that um see yeah i think uh a very good and he mixes it well with a
a kind of recurring characters that that come up so you know you have dd of course which
(48:18):
dd's very much just and i i listened to him being interviewed and something they asked about dd
and he says it's just those random thoughts that pop in your head and and expanding on that
and and it's true like dd is obviously a stoner and just sits about but some of the sketches
especially the one when he's watching the tv and he's the the belinda carl i'll circle in the sand
(48:40):
but it wasn't yellow and but the you know it was yellow but they didn't play the song and
but those are sometimes the random things that do just pop into your head i mean i don't think
about all my kitchen implements coming to life like toy story when i'm not there but that's just the
one thing that that obviously dd thinks of and that one when he's worrying about his kitchen coming to life
(49:06):
and he's like he's like the end he's like i mean i'm the only one that the knife could be so he's
is his way to leave it gives a knife a wee friendly tap on the blade just in case
he punches the pan where so yeah right um let me effectively um started he did a a course
(49:29):
song flash um because he was he wasn't working he was just claiming benefits and they offered an extra
five pounds a week if they did this course and he really enjoyed it and that led to be able you know
to do website development so he created his own website and then he started doing these little
wee video sketches um because he bought software off the baddies um to so that you could do all the
(49:54):
this stuff um and then he put sketches on to dvd and and sold them on his website and use the money to
go traveling in australia and one of those dvds found its way to someone from the comedy unit
at the bbc um which they offered him a pilot and yeah on the back of that you got this series so
it really shows that just in terms of being able to just a little thing that he's done and you know
(50:17):
became a success in terms of that that dvd just finding its way into the right person
and it's very much a you know creative control in terms of a series you know he's in obviously every
sketch and he's just got a few people with him yeah yeah um but you know the the cast of kind of
recurring um people you know Raymond maren's is just brilliant in in some other sketches just absolutely
(50:40):
cracks me up but yeah it's a really great kind of testament that he can do that himself
yeah and you have to wonder if uh because you know they got you don't really see a lot of sketch
comedy on the tv these days you know i think we're only one that's still sort of going as a saturday night
life and even that it's not like a sketch show like the way linear is or the way that true and the fat
(51:03):
is or burnister or something like that you know i mean it's it's a live performances and celebrity
guests and all that kind of thing so the result is it's really hitting miss but i wonder if um i do
wonder if they would uh if anybody came to the bbc trying to get something like linear linear show
on the tv these days you know i mean like it it really takes somebody to really know what's funny
(51:29):
you know and i think you know that and somebody who's who's willing to take a bit of a chance on
um on something unusual but i'm listening to Adam Bucston's new bit at the the moment uh calls
love you by um and he's talking about the Adam and Joe show and how how he got that
commissions and stuff by channel four you know like although all the stuff that he did that kind of
(51:52):
led up to the Adam and Joe show and i and it led me to watch just like some highlights of Adam and
Joe on youtube i'm just thinking they just you don't get like comedy on the main channels
like this anymore you know no friday night was always the sort of comedy night was not on bbc 2 and
channel four back in the 90s and you know they and unfortunately they they may um
(52:16):
obviously he's he's been quite open and honest a bit some of his struggles that he's had with his
mental health over the years um but you know he's he's said you know i'll i won't i won't do any more
television it just makes you want to fucking kill myself which is a shame yeah um now he just does
his own little vignettes and stuff he does a lot of twitch does he does some gaming commentary and
(52:38):
stuff as well um so it's you know we're probably not going to get anything else like this again but it's
so um it's just it's just so bizarre you know they a lot of it is you know like this the um i've
you've ever been this bored you know you stand there and say the comic show excuse me can you
should she's oh yeah right here oh thanks very much you know i pretend then that he wants to stop
(53:03):
the bus and then tell him you're actually no i i thought you're a different bus keep going
it's just i saw a review on i n d b which i think i don't know if it's accurate but i think it's
a sort of sums it up a wee bit when he says this reviewer said and he was very positive about the
program but he said it's like it's just a sort of streamer subconscious you know because they
(53:24):
weigh the sketchies run into each other and all that kind of thing and sometimes they don't really
come to an end and then another one starts yeah i mean there are it's true there are some sketches
that do have like a uh what could you say like not a theme as such but you know they are structured
in a proper sketch way and i think they are mostly like the the dd or jacklee macafety especially
(53:47):
she there's there's a clear kind of story there and they are fantastic the jacklee macafety sketches as
well it's just the ludicrousness of it and of course you always gets tipped over the edge by
it was something so it's like the when she goes to the the dry cleaning you know and tries to get the
job there and says you know oh yeah good one uh you know go on the bevy and celebrate she's
(54:10):
because mental the car and but when she when she just goes on a run it's so funny with like the
taxi driver which she's folding up and yeah no i don't live in priestele priestele's a sh*t tip
i'm like i stay in the west end now like it's um absolutely absolutely brilliant it tells you
(54:34):
those sketches i don't i don't stay in priestele but then yeah you're right it does have some
absolute ludicrous like the next sketch but as you say it is a stream of consciousness like and
and it is a commentary of ideas that maybe have popped in his head and something you know
(54:55):
a perfect one as well as the pilot when you're speaking about the boy in the swing not a care in the
world and he's like can i fuck do that as a grown man check out that we're doing the swing and you
know you can't do that if you ever bit gone on a swing on your own that's a grown man like my own is
a grown man i'm i'm i loved how at the end of that bit he wraps both swings yes
(55:18):
he does the first one it was all the road he said yes i think that's a second one it doesn't quite
go away i would be like oh fuck but i remember i mean he's obviously spent a lot of time doing that
i remember being in Glasgow uh one summer in Bishop Briggs on my cousin uh i was staying at my
cousins in Bishop Briggs for a couple weeks in the summer and him and his pals were just wrapping
(55:41):
and unwrapping the swings and wrapping the swings none wrapping the swings like all summer
so it's like summer night i think it was it was the summer of the everything i did i do it for you
was at number one so it was just it was there's someone a Brian Adams and wrap and swings in Glasgow
but yeah then you'll just get the ridiculous kind of you know just standing there and saying uh
(56:07):
you know imagine getting knocked down my ambulance that'll be funny and then he does it's oh it's no
it's it's really no even just these few moments when he's just sort of dancing and then he then
he replicates you know what i mean so there's like 10 or 15 limby's all just doing the same bass
you know packing for them there were a bit there were quite a few sketches i was waiting for but
(56:32):
they must be in later series um there is the i think it's series two the one it is a dancing sketch
but it's when he's Tina Turner oh yeah and he just he just keeps him all applying all these Tina
ternar stit like not to say limits or something and then of course it was obviously waiting for
DD goes to yoker but that's a a later series yeah of course and she's turned the wings against us
(56:56):
but of course that's obviously a later series as well um but you can see where some of the like
what he does now in terms of the twitch streams and he does like comment on videos and stuff like
you've said about James Corgan and stuff there's a there's a start of that in the series
where there's a couple of clips where he's you know breaking down like Donna somewhere um
(57:17):
singing and some of the ridiculous like lyrics that she's singing in the song yeah and is it um
is it deena caro as well when she's on top of the pop yes she comes in and he bit too late for her vocal
(57:39):
it's when you break down yes some of the ridiculous like lyrics like what is it i want to have dinner
with gershwin or something like gershwin dinner with gershwin like absolutely crazy but yeah
perfect kind of commentary on on some of those things and you know there's so much that in terms
you know the sketch where he's in the cafe and he's asking everyone with a laptop why are we here
(58:02):
yeah just to use the wifi what's nice to get out um yeah yeah no but i know it
yeah i like the um i like it when it takes like an expression and puts in a few sketches so there's
the one when everyone's saying that uh literally and then the guys like you know that this is a
this is an unofficial verbal warning but you are literally on thin ice and he's like no no
(58:26):
okay have you seen my keys they were literally right there
the only one that the only sketch i i i wasn't a fan of and i didn't find them funny was the the 80s
action kind of thriller sketches like it's kind of dressed up as like Stallone and Cobra
(58:49):
yeah and there was one that was quite funny that he goes he goes in somewhere and then he ends up
like coming down a child's slide yeah and like i did laugh at that one but a lot of the other ones
like i just didn't find that amusing no i'm your worst asleep man um yeah you'll never catch me
the ones that i really like were the wee garrie ones uh he's trying to start these playgrounds
(59:18):
like enterprises you know some of them are lovely and innocent in terms of the you know
rent and shoes and stuff and then it does it does go up a notch kind of every episode it's time
you get to episode four it's about the training information of what i do do is for what a johnny bag is
(59:39):
what a johnny bag she just found
but still he's out poppin stuff he's like so we we anchor we anchor had to leave school
she i laughed and we're writing off but we anchor had to leave school she means a good guy no
you look dreamy squeal in the face and said a dodo is rain a lasse does a shey and it's hanging
(01:00:05):
out at us and it looks like hawk the police are rocked too dwell after all everybody even to be
preemory ones will laugh you don't know what the dodo is you don't know what the dodo is could he help
off myself should i laugh though because he had to change school good boy or not oh yeah fantastic
(01:00:26):
yeah absolutely fantastic i think john Paul the character john Paul looking a nedish guy i think
i think that was one that i'd heard somewhere you know i mean like when he was doing the podcast
okay because i was reminded of that when when the the john Paul sketch in the in the park when he
(01:00:47):
won't let the guy walk through the park you know he won't let him leave the park i guess the other big
breakthrough kind of character that is well known is falcontooth of yes for the show and again there's
some classic kind of the main kind of classic sketch that you see about the the sandals um that is
(01:01:07):
with the angry caller um brilliant idea and a brilliant clip and just absolutely sums up and you
know it's it's dark in terms of like the first time because it's a woman whose son is one 50 quid and
he's you know she's spent three hundred pound try to get on to get the 50 quid and you know he's
clean mute and that's quite dark but then as it gets further on and it's that the character is
(01:01:35):
is very amusing but then obviously you get little insights into him when he like it's his old
school friend he ends up and i know she's still like she i know i know he's like is she your traveling
companion no no no just shagger lying again
you can fire then just no no Wednesday
(01:01:56):
yeah because he's he's like he's so well-meaning falcontooth but that is when he's gonna the guy with
the sandals who kind of pushes him you know you see like his patience wave can i wave for a wee bit
when he's when the guy's talking over his description and he said you can't talk over my description
(01:02:17):
take take sandals you can't look but you know it's coming you know it's coming that's just there's
something really funny this at a juxtaposition between like a well-meaning sort of nice
this spoken tv presenter and so absolute roaster from classical you know i'll find out where you think
you're getting caught it's such a wonderful i'll get it found out where you drink it's such a wonderful
(01:02:43):
expression yeah i think my one of my biggest laughs was and it's such a wonderful payoff because
i think it's an episode five you have a kind of running sketch throughout the whole episode of
limmy at like a script meeting and pitch an ideas about this drunk lassie or yeah that's always wet
(01:03:04):
and mushroom mat and it all pays off in like the second-large sketch where they just put everything
together but it's the opening of that sketch that it's such a like it's a funeral and it's like a
solemn and then Raymond maren says there was hands over his eyes and then when he pulls in my wigs
eckeys you're right but I'll be honest and hence no i'm not miss well i just have to quit glidering
(01:03:31):
to i'm no numb i'm one trope of the world these are great these wee things
with things ecuge i suppose that's him sort of going about meta isn't it you know like he's kind
of pretending that he's giving you a wee look behind the curtain of how they're gonna create a process
(01:03:54):
and then the beginning of the last episode of the first series when they're talking about they
talking about doing an experiment and doing a tailor made show for everybody and it shows like
three sketchy but it shows the same sketch three times so there's the guy hitting his head on the door
and then there's the guy you've got aids i'm only joking you haven't you got aids and then just like
(01:04:17):
a clip of him i can bed apparently getting like shagged up the arse yes for a second
but like the fuck he's just gonna feel like he's like well it's the last episode i'll just see what
i can get away right you know um yeah it does that kind of comes right out i know where like i was
like okay yeah and then i remembered the aids then i forgot about the last part
(01:04:37):
we just see him getting violently shagged up the arse like oh wow okay i forgot about that okay
yeah what does that say to me is he's got a tendency to any sort of uncomfortable kind of moments
he tends just to let the camera stay on just a few seconds too long you know what i mean that's
(01:04:59):
a particular one it just goes on a few more seconds than you really can cope with you know
as i say he see the sketches are very well placed like you'll have the i think it's in the last episode
as well you have the little interlude of him like kind of coming down the steps to the sound of
the xylophone and then falls at the end and then it cuts to him with this old couple and
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and the heartbreaking thing is that she will never know that he wants to double deal deal with her
yeah she's a wther just there's just a few words away from heaven talk and it's a simple message of
just talk to your partner let them know but the fact that he has to use an old couple and
(01:05:43):
use the phrase double-dildo it's fucking takes it a bit extreme i think yeah yeah i like the sketches
where where he is someone holds a dore up for him and he's always just a wee bit further away every time
yeah so he's running for a bit of speed's hand that it's such a simple and cruel sketch it's a very
(01:06:07):
quick one though is and when someone comes out of barbershop i like to book past and just laugh
i hope to give someone a complex fucking hell and yeah you can tell he's not kind of a
he's poking fun at the the regular humor almost in terms of again that i think it's in the last
(01:06:30):
episode where he's at the meat counter and he asks for what's up pounder bacon and she says lean
he leans and asks again and she spits in his face
when he makes fun of the you know i certainly remember um young guys like this when i was
(01:06:51):
living in glideschool they can get early two thousands but they always get punched in the face because
they it's pure galaous yeah those little interlude kind of clips i like those and i also like the
guy with the boils in his face that is just come and say will you be my da or up my shater
(01:07:16):
horrible that absolutely brilliant um as the other i was quite shocked at the level he went into as well
i forgot about um it's in the last episode jacolay macafarate's big brother audition and when she's
reponented divina bacol like yeah she was she was now real junkie look at looking down that who knows
(01:07:37):
like it was like fucking hell uh she's no marley pello i hate i
she turns it blind so you've got a mad junkie notes fucking hell i was quite surprised the
the level of vitriol that that went into that so i don't know if limmy does have a big issue with
divina macafarate or something i don't think so i don't know i wouldn't get thought so i think it's
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just you know all the you're so you're kind of fair game is it especially if you're going to sort
of talk to a journalist about the tough times in your life in your sort of old-schools you know
that you're going to hang in the piss somebody is going to take the piss out of you and it's
probably going to be somebody from scottland that's it unfortunately because i'm always i often feel
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that um whilst the certainly the rest of the uk and the sort of western world seems to be running
a hundred miles and i were towards like painful politically correctness i i feel like in scottland we
sort of resist it you know because like every scottish person that i'm friends with here in Dubai has
(01:08:43):
like gallows sense of humor and certainly most of the people that i grew up with and that i'm friends
with back at home everything is fair game and you have to be thick skin or someone's going to
because someone is going to fucking absolutely roast you at some point but i've noticed that you
know we've had to wear a friend i think a group of their mutual friend and he his skin appear
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still become a bit thinner like i'm always a little bit careful now about you know if i
if i poke fun at him because there's been times when i can i poke fun at him in a way that i
always have and he's left the group yes yes that has happened um more than one occasion more than
one occasion i think i've i've sent him off and i think you've sent him off once as well so it has to be
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it has to be sort of more decodled back on to back on again yeah need to wait for a little period
of time to pass um but you're right yeah it is of course um you do need to have the gallows humor um for
that and i think that's why i find a lot of it funny there are also you know sketches that are
kind of pull your heartstrings the the one in particular is when he's got the photo a milport
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oh yes you know he wants to go back there and speaks you know we've all had those amazing times
you know when he was he said he was 16 it was a great day i don't want to be here anymore
i want to go there yeah and it's it's you know a beautiful sketch and and the way when she says
you know he can't do that yeah and then he just i'll return to large please
(01:10:25):
give that a little laugh at the end but that is a a beautiful sketch in terms of uh
going something up in terms of they know we all wish we could go back to that time not the particular
place but that actual time that we had the yb here anymore the yb here
(01:10:47):
what would be real so can you tell me how did i get that you can't i do that i'm sorry
i just use a return it logs in 75
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yeah absolutely you know you that sort of common sort of yearning for good times in your life in
the end usually it's when you've got a lot less responsibilities you know what i mean yeah i'm
often thinking oh wow how good would it be to fucking just have a night out in Aberdeen in 2001
oh my parents fucking brilliant with that piece just to be able to do that for a night you know
(01:11:35):
yeah would be amazing to be able to go back to that and just have a a night out of old but would
we enjoy it as much or would we just you know happy with the memories every all every well the
couple of times that will sort of i guess whether or directly or indirectly tried to recapture a bit of
that remember when we went to Aberdeen in 2019 just after you moved to Amsterdam then we're out in
(01:11:59):
the Friday night expecting busy pubs and atmosphere and vibe and it was like a fucking PDA
fail's funeral was fucking nobody there and even like when we when we went to see Steve Krueger
and think I was I was fucking seriously jet lagged as you managed to fall asleep in the auditorium
to the second half of the show but yeah i mean it's you know like you can't be the chase after
(01:12:23):
it can you just have to sort of enjoy that moment of being there and stuff and not compare it to
when you were younger to get more stand-up well that's yeah that's it i think that you know on especially
the that the Steve Kueger night the Saturday like we you know we spent the afternoon in the pub
but then yeah that normally we'd have been there right where we're going next let's go out it was
(01:12:44):
like we just get a few beers and a pizza and go back to rest and yeah straight something watch
something and then we both fell asleep on the sofa and it's like yeah rock and roll like we literally
just went back kind of pizza i think i think i watch i think the watch's rocky four i think
and then or rocky three i was a rocky three i think it was rocky three um kind of ever and then yeah
(01:13:08):
and then fell asleep on the sofa and then yeah i went off to our bunk beds and got up the next
morning but i caught a tea watching minder and it was like yeah that was the rocket roll
okay might have recaptured our youth yeah that's what happened yeah yeah so yeah yeah that that
let me sketch resonate then finally enough i had to be looking at his instagram today and there's
(01:13:34):
he's put he's put a couple of photographs with himself in my report when he was 16 off in his instagram
not that long ago there's one of them waiting for this ton to jump off the pier into the into the water
he's just put that to be there to be out of yeah so it's the middle port never too far from his thoughts
and i think the like obviously the show ran for a three series it was limmy's choice to give up
(01:13:57):
um yeah yeah and basically says he kind of ran out of ideas and like he didn't want to he wanted
to keep the show unique and original and don't want to repeat the same things and i think that's an
easy kind of you know route to go down i think there was a sick calm of falcon whoof that was
mooted but i think i'm not back by the bc so to say no to do it but and as you say i he did during
(01:14:19):
Covid come out with a little limmy's whole mageo which is i think just a couple of episodes of
little sketches and i remember that was you know enjoying that that was great but yes since then he
just basically does twitch and i i think he really as you've said in terms of twitter like i did use
to follow him and i haven't you know looked for a while but he really did capture how good it was
(01:14:43):
the the one that always gets me is that just remember he said he had it automated to just tweet
every so often is the daff punk get lucky sound of the summer and it's just it's never not funny
reader i guess so cute the other one he does is whenever somebody famous nice he says i met them once
a charity thing they were surprisingly funny and very down to earth it was like all the time i think
(01:15:09):
there's quite a few people i found out it died because of limmy and tweet that and i remember people
would say oh fuck it's true like when you know after his tweet like oh it must be true yeah i think
one of his tweets that he said that was used on sky news as a genuine tribute and it was it couldn't
(01:15:31):
have been any better it was for Peter string fellow and and the new sweet air of light red out limmy's tweet
he's like he's made it right yeah and that was um that was what he called is autobiography
surprisingly down to earth and very funny and he reads two books i have yeah and i've read um he
(01:15:54):
released two books of short stories um which daffy stories and that's your lot and i actually read
re-read that's your lot um last week um and it's just it's so so funny and so dark and
you know there's a whole he'll tell a story over like eight pages but then just come out with a last
(01:16:15):
line that you're like what the fuck like you know there's one about um a guy starts uh work in a new
job and everyone's nice apart from this one guy who's always correcting his grammar like in emails
and stuff and it's really annoying him uh but everyone else seems to be okay with it and it's all this
guy does is just correct people's grammar and he lets it go but then that christmas night out and he's
(01:16:40):
a bit boozy and the guy says something that's grammar isn't quite correct and like let me
go's after him for this you know uh but no but it's important you have to do this and everyone's
like just leave it just leave it and the guys getting more wound up and then let me just keep
going at him and the guys because because it's all i've got and then storms out and then the last
(01:17:02):
slide is turns out his wife and kids got killed in an accident two years ago and you're like what the
fuck i'm gonna read him brutal i'm gonna look for his uh oh myography when i'm in London next week so
i answered i read it he had in in the first one daffy stories he has a story called upside down
(01:17:23):
and it's printed upside down so you have to turn the book and the whole story is basically about how
if you're reading this in a train you're gonna look dodgy as fuck because your book's upside down
genius absolutely genius for those ideas um so yeah i would highly recommend his um
(01:17:46):
his autobiographies very good but as i say daffy stories um the the books are are very very good
um i did laugh it really reminded me of an old uh marie white house experience sketch as well
when he talks about just carving or writing somewhere Benny Harvey RIP and i i still see that to
this day on stuff Benny Harvey RIP and um it reminded me i i'd love that uh marie white house
(01:18:12):
experience sketch it was it was david be deild like a commentary bit and it was like a bridge in
London or somewhere and someone had just graffiti on it m-con is bent and it was like this whole
sketch about who is m-con is he bent like who knows and that's always stuck with me m-con is bent
and um yeah the Benny Harvey RIP i think was uh something that was a little bit similar that i
(01:18:37):
thought was uh it was very good and yeah i still sometimes if you look at pretty much most of liby's
youtube videos or something you'll find someone that's written Benny Harvey RIP on it so it's
still lives on uh very much so so let me as a scottish bath the winner twice over for for let me show
shall we see what awards is going to get from the culture swallow this week yeah let's do that then
(01:19:02):
Greg what have we got first so our first uh our first award is always is the bobby the barbie
award for the best pub and let me show i like the pub with sailor the old man yes i that's exactly
what i've written down as well there's also the the pub which like the empty pub which
appears in with Raymond Merns um always telling a story but yeah the the pub with sailor the old man
(01:19:28):
look at nice little boozer yeah does it these next the word then is the james cause more what for being
an everything scottish who did you pick here i picked Raymond Merns i picked him as well yeah
seemed like the i was interested to read so tom brogan who there's the other actor and
boom with Denise Welsh tom brogan is also a successful football writer um they published a book
(01:19:52):
last year called um Kenny Dalgley's 50 games that made them the fair that he is or something like that
yeah okay so i don't know if he's doing the act in any more um but you you can often see Raymond
Merns at the lack friar sing glass goal and do the comedy night he often is the compere there so
i had to look up and see if there were in any way related tom brogan because he reminded me
(01:20:15):
so much of and they're not related but the actor that plays um the son in the scott's right oh yeah
they're very similar in terms of facial feature and kind of body size and shape but also just
their mannerisms so i had to check but yeah i don't think they're related okay um next the word then is
(01:20:37):
the jake maquillan your t's award what did you go for i went with uh i kind of a two i couldn't decide
is the paper plane in the eye which is kind of deserved because he was going to throw it at the dog but
yeah um i did go with getting knocked down by the ambulance well i thought that was uh
very cute what about you i just went with the wee scottish guy getting punched every time he says
(01:20:59):
something stupid you know okay and enthusiastic just pure gallus yes absolute topper um so the next one
then is the frank beg beg award for gratuitous swearing i mean there's a few subtle f-bombs
but it's not particularly sweety show no what did you go for i didn't really pick anything really i
(01:21:22):
couldn't really i think i could be a think of one because they're so sort of just matter of fact you know
um i liked the because i said earlier jakelin mcalfordey um priest tells a sh*t tip
i just like the the use of sh*t tip and it's just like and um but i actually went with dd's
just constant use of f*cking yeah f*cking f*cking it's just using that as punctuation so yeah i went
(01:21:47):
with that for my my best use of swearing um there's no nudity and uh no no i think it does get
shut off a couple of times but he's that's but so archetypal scottish moment i sort of struggled with
a scottish moment but dd for me is like quite a typical scottish character you know all that you
(01:22:07):
all the respect you've all known a few people like that you know that uh just talk like that and just
pure overanalyze everything and you know and spend a lot of their time not doing very much
yeah i can agree with that um i went with and i struggled as well because there's not really a huge
amount that is kind of uh overtly scottish in a way um i did go with there i'm going to find out
(01:22:28):
where you drink from the falcon huff because it just seemed like such a scottish thing to say you know
yeah i'm gonna find out where you live or i'm gonna find out i'm gonna come down to your work
it's no i'm gonna find out where you drink it's just a beautiful light i loved it
and then with the last ones a bit of a it's a bit of a a bit of a foregone conclusion really it's
(01:22:49):
our shonkaw and i need a ward for who wins is ready into it's a show yeah completely it's a show
obviously it led to you know bigger things for him and stuff but yeah it's it's a show and yeah
he completely wins he's in every sketch so yeah yeah are he directed and created and animated it as well
so yeah yeah yeah has to be with me but yeah yeah cool well if you want to watch uh let me show
(01:23:16):
they're all on youtube but they're also on the bbci player as well uh not just the first series
we watched but all the cdzz's um and this you know then even if you just want a little dose of
limit um then twitch or twitter or rather x is a place to go because he's uh gives incredibly good
value on those platforms as well yeah fantastic so that was the first series of limi show and that was
(01:23:41):
my choice Greg so why do you tell us what we're going to be talking about on the next episode
of the culture svali so on the next episode we're going all the way back to 2002 23 years ago
for some more scottish comedy something that marked our first step into podcasting and
what put us on the journey to become scottlin's favorite podcast um it's it's weird that we've not
(01:24:07):
done it already to be honest and i think also you could probably do like a sort of sub podcast
just for this tv show but we're going to be watching the first series of critically acclaimed
still game staring Greg Hemphill and Ford Kearlin as their jack and beloved jack and victor
(01:24:28):
characters oh fantastic wow fuck 2002 Jesus that's scary thinking that oh fantastic i have seen
those episodes countless times but i can't wait to go back and watch them again fantastic oh there's
going to be some great awards in that well i mean obviously but the new d_t_t no but the
(01:24:51):
the bobby the barman awards obviously our foregone conclusion for that but um oh yeah
fantastic oh great okay i'll look forward to to watching still game on the next episode of the svali
well thank you very much for listening everyone hope you enjoyed the show if you'd like to give us
a little rate to review subscribe anything that you do it helps the podcast and if you are getting
(01:25:13):
touched with us you can you can email us on culture svali@gmail.com with anything you'd like us to
review or any new stories you've seen or if you just want to say hello and you can all find us on
insta@culture svali.pod and we have a wonderful website as well don't we Greg we do any to update it
so leave it as we go out of date and to put some new episodes up in there but you can find us
(01:25:34):
at the culture svali.com and for links to all the episodes and some features on Scottish news and
pop culture fantastic right well i hope you enjoy and have a lovely rest of your weekend Greg
anything exciting? no don't think so i can hear the sofa calling my name so i'm going to go i'm
going to go and watch i've been watching the tennis from the Roland Garrus stadium over the last
(01:26:00):
couple of days so i'm going to go and see how the two second of the semi-finals is on this afternoon
i think the main semi-finals so i'm going to go and see who's winning maybe have a little disco nap
maybe have a couple of maybe have another 0% Guinness later or maybe i'll have a proper beer later on
we'll see we'll see how it goes well but you're going to obviously they'll try and stay awake and so
(01:26:23):
maybe nine or ten o'clock they'll go a bit yes yes i'm going to yeah probably start editing the podcast
and yeah maybe go outside for a fair bit and try and yeah not sit in the house because that's what
leads to falling asleep so yeah and try and yeah that was my downfall i think yesterday i did accidentally
nod off for an hour and that kind of buggered me so um yeah i think i'm going to go out and try and
(01:26:48):
get some fresh air and kind of wake up and yeah try and get like a nice nine ten o'clock tonight
and see how that goes so all good right well wonderful thank you very much folks and until next time
until next time you're bound to ascendant you're dead no you're dead make you dead you just cost me
two guns you're not dead man i'm going to spend two years drinking and you're a fuck
(01:27:11):
we're ready to take another call uh my name is falconhoof that will be your guide on your quest
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