Episode 133 - What We Did on Our Holiday (2014) - The Culture Swally

Episode Transcript
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[Music]

(00:15):
Hello and welcome to the Culture Swally, a podcast dedicated to Scottish News and Pop Culture.
My name is Nicky and I'm joined as always by the man who often holds his breath until he blacks out.
It's Greg, how are you today, buddy?
No bads, I did wonder what I was getting this week after I watched the film.
Yeah, I was struggling, I was going to say about hiding keys or often like to tackle little girls playing football

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or something about a burning boat, but no, I decided to go hold near breath. How are you today, my man?
No bads, no bads. It's, in the first of August, it was a big birthday for somebody quite close
to our Culture Swally heart, so the big fella, Tom Yurie, of them,

(01:02):
Tune Fat and still game and stuff. He posted a very happy 80th birthday to the one and only Dave Anderson.
Oh, fantastic, oh wow, that's amazing.
And even more exciting, Dave has responded because Dave's on Facebook,
oh and he's responded to say, "Dear Tommy, I don't deserve it but I'll take it.

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Big love to you and thanks, heart and mosey, so that was nice."
Oh, he definitely deserves it. Dave Anderson's an absolute legend.
Oh, fantastic. Oh, that's lovely here. 80 years young and still.
Yes, I've just shot the bed a bit there mate. I just clicked on Dave Anderson's Facebook page
and it's a different Dave Anderson.

(01:44):
That's why you saying I don't deserve it then?
Yeah, this Dave Anderson is a digital creator and I thought he looked a bit like
or Dave Anderson, but just a bit older if you can see there.
I mean, does maybe, maybe he's changed.
Oh, he does. I think maybe he's changed his profession to that digital creator,

(02:06):
he's given up the act in the day, I don't know.
Maybe he has, maybe he has, maybe he's busy doing TikToks all the time.
That's Dave Anderson's up to. We'll have to investigate that and see
what if it is the real Dave Anderson or not. It's been a while since we've had Dave.
I know he was in something recently, wasn't he?
It was in a cat food, yeah, five sort of flying,
blinking your missile appearance and something I think, wasn't it?

(02:28):
Was it the nightmare man?
Or is it more?
I don't think it was anything.
No, no.
It's definitely in something we did recently, but I can't remember now.
It'll come back to me anyway.
Anyway, oh, wonderful.
Well, that's a lovely happy birthday for Dave Anderson.
How is everything else going?
Excited? Did you, did you jealous as we're recording this?

(02:49):
Oasis have just played, I think they're playing tomorrow night as well.
In Edinburgh, were you upset that you missed out after seeing all the videos and stuff?
I did get a wee pang of FOMO when I saw some of the videos because it looks as though it was really,
I mean, everybody, some people that I really respect for their taste
have said it was the best gig.

(03:10):
There's a guy called Darren Jones that I used to knock about with quite a lot when I was a teenager
up in Aberdeenshire.
He was a few years older than me, Darren, massive music fan.
I know that he continues to go to a lot of gigs, both big gigs and more intimate gigs
and he put on his Instagram that was the best gig he's ever been to in his life.

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So when I saw that, I thought, I bet, you know what, I bet it was fun.
But then I remembered that Darren is quite comfortable at a gig with thousands and thousands
and thousands of people.
I'd probably not.
The Manic Street Preachers was just big enough the one that we went to last summer.
That was kind of big enough.
That was big enough for me.
I'm not sure.
I don't know if I'm match fit for a gig that size anymore.

(03:53):
You know what I mean?
I think it was start to do them and not in after maybe, I know.
I did see like our mutual friend had posted a few clips and videos and there was one I think he'd taken.
I presume it was everyone exiting the gig and just yeah, crowds and crowds and I was like,
I could not be fucked with that.
When I was going through the papers earlier today,
we can first some swallow stories.

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There was a lot of videos about the train stations just jammed when people trying to
get home after the concert.
And I thought, you know, that's the kind of, that's the other side of it isn't it?
Because even if you've gone and had a really, really, really good time,
you've still got to get home.
You know what I mean? Unless you pay a fortune to get in your B&B and

(04:38):
Murryfield or Gorgier somewhere where you can walk back, you know, you're going to have to
put yourself in the hands of Scott Rail or whoever Edinburgh buses or whoever it is
or getting the, the tram doesn't go past Murryfield, does it?
I don't think it does.
Yeah, it does, yeah.
I think it does, yeah.
Yeah, I think I would just walk because it's still that far from the Murryfield into the city centre.

(04:59):
No, if you were staying in the city centre, if you were lucky enough to manage to grab
somewhere, baring in mind, the races are playing and it is the fringe.
Then, yeah, then I probably would have walked in, but yeah.
They travel chaos, yeah, not for me.
I totally agree with you on that.
I was just say, I remember going to see M&M in Milton Keynes and we were staying in London

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and the chaos, so the train station to get back to London was just, it was carnage and it was just,
yeah, horrible.
Yeah, no, that's a thing, you know, it's just, I think it's like, I'm not,
I'm not a big enough oasis fan to be up to part and with all that money and I only really like the
first two albums and even then I'm not like, a lot of these are some of the greatest albums ever.

(05:44):
There are a lot more albums that I like better than definitely maybe and what's the story, but I do
really like those albums, not enough to buy out that kind of money.
Yeah, I think I said to you yesterday, the only thing is because it's been such a man,
because there'd be such a man as gigs, we're just going to be fucking inundated now by these insufferable

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cunts. Oh, well, you had to be there. You had to be there, honestly, once in a lifetime. I can't
describe it, you know, and unfortunately, your mutual friend is in that number, but I don't think
he's a big enough oasis fan to be. He's not going to watch from the attention span, has he?
So he had moved on to the best gig he'd have been to is the next fucking time he sees Guy Ordinal

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or Tall Paul with some grotto laser club and done the year somewhere, you know.
Oh, I never bite. Oh, well, I hope everyone that went enjoyed it and yeah, don't tell us about it,
because his Greg says you're insufferable cunts. Okay, then, right, shall we have a look at what
else has been happening in Scotland over the last couple of weeks, Greg? Here's a jingle.

(06:54):
Hello, this is the out there, have a least broadcasting conversation. And here is what's been going on
in the news. Okay, Greg, what have you seen in the news in the last couple of weeks you'd like to
share with me and our lovely listeners? So this will be right up your street as a unabashed fan of
wrestling. This comes from the daily record on, I don't know, the third of August. And the headline is

(07:21):
Scotch wrestler who lived in his car with his dog, also a no big fan of dogs as well. Now a rise,
now a rising star in the USA. This is the foot, the further the former mother well-carer, Luke
Schouler, which isn't his wrestling name, but definitely should be, as turned wrestling star in
his taken America by storm, Luke is 33. He's better known by fans as Crixus and he's click, they become

(07:48):
one of the breakout stars of Ohio Valley Wrestling, the same promotion that launched WWE Legends,
John Cena and Dave Batista. Nick named the Scottish War Machine, Luke's journey has taken him from
sleeping in a gym car park to headline matches in US and could in casket matches in Cage Fight. He

(08:08):
made history as the OVW's first-ever Scottish champion and now appears regularly in the
cult promotion recently featured in the hit Netflix documentary, "Restless". How much
do you watch that one? Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, it's good. It's proper,
small promotion wrestling. Yeah, the stories are really good actually. It's worth a watch, definitely.

(08:34):
It's one of the guys is like a crack addict and gets fired and stuff and then
rehired and comes back high as fuck and then gets fired again and it's proper warts and all,
like low league wrestling. But yeah, it is good. It's worth a watch. I mean, okay, it reminds me a

(08:55):
little bit of the, you know, in the documentary, "Beyond the mat" when they're following Terry Funk
and Jay the Snake and they're wrestling in these sort of local community ones, right? Yeah.
So before the body slams and bright lights, Luke had worked as a fitness instructor in a
ret-and in a residential care home for young people who were in Spire Scotland. They said that I

(09:21):
really loved that job, but it was tough emotionally. He said, "They've always said a bit of a Batman
complex. I thought I was going to save everybody and he doesn't say this, but he should mean
and hard as fuck." I was in a bad place with it. I knew it wasn't for me and I was burned out. I was in
a bad place. I remember sitting in my house in New Mains watching TV with my dog, Odin, when wrestling

(09:44):
came on and I just thought, "Screw it, let's go. Scots have made it big in this business. Why couldn't I?"
The same night he packed up his car, grabbed his dog and drove through the night to enroll that
a wrestling academy in London run by former WWE star Al Snow who is now the OVW's head trainer. He

(10:05):
said, "I drove through the night with no plan and no place to stay. Me and the dog slept in the car for
a bit. I've enchanted the guy who ran it, asked if I was serious. I told him I'd already quit my job
and left my house. That was it. We moved into the gym and we didn't go back." After a topping, a
300 person wrestling combine in 2019, Luke Earns, a coveted spot at the OVW, but his momentum was

(10:27):
stalled when the pandemic hit forcing them back to the UK for two years. Now, fully based in Kentucky,
he's cementing himself as one of the promotion's leading names. "We've got thicker skin," says Luke,
especially in Glasgow. "Your back will ready by the time you leave primary school, so wrestling comes,
so wrestling comes naturally to us. I'm a smart ass cheeky bastard and the accent helps too. Over

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here in the states, people already think we're mental, which definitely helps. I just turned my
personality up to 11. I wasn't pretending to be someone else. Just a version of me you probably
wouldn't want to sit next to in a pub. I get to act like an arse and they still love me. They
boo you, but they're cheating underneath. His rise comes during what insiders are calling a golden
period for Scott's, in pro wrestling." Joe Hendry from Edinburgh appeared at WrestleMania this year,

(11:16):
while Drew McIntyre from Air Shire, who also came through the OVW, became Scotland's first
WWE Champion in 2020. OVW head coach Al Snow himself a former WWE European and hardcore champion
believes it could be next. He says, "With the success of Joe Hendry, Joe Hendry, and Drew McIntyre,

(11:37):
Scotland is increasingly a potential source of talent. I see WWE did amazing things. I know
Greedo, well, I don't tell him, though, don't tell him I said this, but he's incredibly charismatic
and doing so well across TV, radio and stage. With Crixis, we may have another superstar in our hands.
His dedication has been incredible. To make it in this business, you have to sacrifice and do

(11:59):
things out of the ordinary. And that's why I think he's got what it takes." So I have to keep a
wee eye on Luke Scouler, also known as Crixis, although Luke Scouler's a fucking great Scottish
statement. I don't know if it translates well, though, to the porn Scouler. Yeah, look out,

(12:20):
basically, imagine that he's just been sitting watching the TV and thought, "Fuck it,
and just pack his life up immediately," and drove down to London. Yeah, takes a fair bit of balls
to do that, and well, hey, it's obviously paying off for him, I guess, and yeah, he's right. There is
a good little trend in terms of, as you see, he's got Drew McIntyre, he's still doing well. And Joe

(12:45):
Henry A, he's a phenomenal year. And yeah, there's definitely a kind of influx of Scottish talent as well.
There's a female wrestler, two Piper Niven, who's doing really well in WWE. So, yeah, there's
this definitely, for a small nation, to be able to have quite a few people in WWE at least, and then

(13:07):
be able to make a mark. Yeah, it's brilliant. And yeah, but as I say, I did watch the first season of
that, and Al Snow was in it a lot, he's brilliant. And yeah, it's really good, it's good watch, and I'm
really pleased to hear that Luke's doing well, and things are planning out for him. What's Rob Florence's
Nese's name? I think she left WWE last year, to share. She did, yeah, Eila Don, was her name. Yeah,

(13:33):
she got released, but she was in a tag team with another Scottish girl, and she's still there.
I think. But yeah, Eila Don got released. I don't know what she's, if she's wrestling anywhere, or if
she's still, you know, if she's been picked up by another promotion or anything, I'm not sure,
I forgot to check. But yeah, unfortunately, things didn't work out for her, but

(13:55):
enough or no, people get released and then resigned all the time. Yeah, it's gonna say it's quite,
it's quite a tough business, I think isn't it? No, professional wrestling, I think it's quite,
it can be quite ruthless, you know, if you're, you know, if you're, I remember, like watching that

(14:16):
documentary that I mentioned before, beyond the mat, and as well as following Jake the Snake and
he's well-documented crack stage, and Terry Funk in his absolutely fucked Nese stage, they were
following that young prospect at the W W, I think it was still a W W F back then, and his gimmick was
he could like throw up at will, but then when he had to, when he had to do it in front of Vince

(14:41):
McMahon and Vince McMahon's office, he couldn't do it. Remember, yeah, he's, he's, he's, he's,
he's wrestling was going to be like uptruck or some sort of, or, or Bobby Barr for something like that.
I remember thinking, I don't think that name's going to take off, you know? That was kind of the stage
where every wrestler had to have a profession as their gimmick, and yeah, yeah, I guess he was like

(15:03):
the barf man would have been the, but yeah, is it can be ruthless, and so say, I mean, that was the
same, we drew, he, um, he came in and he had a few years there, and then he got released, and yeah,
kind of he did the right thing when he kept his head down, went into all the independent shows,
and just kept plugging away and built himself back up so that WWE kind of couldn't ignore him,

(15:28):
and then he came in again at like kind of a low level at NXT, but then immediately cemented
himself in there, but then a few years he was beaten Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania for the type,
and you know, now he's, he's kind of widely regarded as one of the, you know, the top talents in,
in the WWE at the moment, so it does, it shows hard work pays off, and if you really stick with it

(15:50):
in your mind to it, I mean, he could easily have got released and been very resentful, and you know,
just fuck things up, but he obviously decided that he was going to, he was going to make it work,
and he has, so, yeah, for sure, for him. Yeah, for sure. Probably got some good advice as well
along the way, I'd imagine. Yeah, I think so, yeah, I think he, yeah, he has said, um, you know, like,

(16:11):
like the couple of people that phoned him when he got released, and you know, there are words of
advice to him and, how to stick with it, and then he's done the same for others, like since then,
that have been released, you know, he's, he's, he's, it's right, you know, he calls people up to,
to say to them, right, okay, you've been released, this is probably going through your head,

(16:32):
this is going through your head, here's what you need to do. First of all, set up a pro wrestling
tea store, second of all, book as many dates as you can on the end days, third of all, be active on
social media. Concert, I think, yeah, because there's a female wrestler in Naomi, he drew, because he's
known on, for being like an ultimate social media fucking troll. Yeah, and, um, really using it to

(16:54):
his advantage. And I think he took a female wrestler, kind of under his wing, Naomi, and all of a sudden,
her social media shit housery just elevated. And she's currently the women's champion, and a lot of
it is because of her popularity online, right, because she's such a dick on social media, and she's

(17:14):
been quite honest that Drew taught her everything she knows, just being an ultimate shit ex. So, yeah,
good on him. Well, good luck to Luke, I hope that's, um, yeah, as well. Fantastic. It certainly looks
the part anyway. Okay, that's my first story, which is your first story of this episode. My first
first story is from the Scottish Sun this week, Greg, and this is why we can't have nice things in

(17:37):
Scotland. As you're aware, as has been in the papers all week and all over social media, a little film
called Spider-Man 4 has been filming in Glasgow. I bet one dependent movie. Yeah, I dunno. Might
check it out. I dunno if I'll see if any cinemas are showing it when it's released, but yeah, they've
um, they've been filming in Glasgow. Glasgow is, um, I guess, doubling up as New York, or I don't know,

(18:00):
it depends where... No, it's New York. It's gonna be said. New York is gonna be. Yeah, uh, yeah, this is
exclusive from the sort of Sun, and the headline is Spider-Bams. So, can maybe guess what's going on
here? Spider-Man is facing off against a new gang of villains, chance-ers swiping props from the

(18:20):
set of the upcoming blockbuster before escaping on bikes. Thieves are giving production staff the
runaround by pinching street and shop signs for the film being shot in Glasgow. Like, typical, you know,
we can have nice things. Uh, crew have transformed city centre streets into downtown New York by
swapping out road markers, advertising boards and bringing in trademark yellow taxis, NYPD police cars

(18:45):
and a hot dog cart. Security teams have been drafted in to protect set decorations with filming underway
for Marvel's Spider-Man brand new day, due to the release next summer. Of course, a source told
the Scottish Sun on Sunday, guards have been having a tough time trying to keep visitors out.
Fans have been coming in droves to try and catch a glimpse of the set, some have been taking props,

(19:06):
with four signs going missing in one night. Security try to chase them down, but they're getting on
these bikes and off they go before they can catch them. Bosses aren't happy, because everything
was looking great. Collectors will pay good money for genuine film props.
The film is the fourth installment of the rebuked franchise, starring Tom Holland, 29, as the

(19:27):
web sling superhero. Offices, shops and bars in both Well Street are doubling for Manhattan,
with buildings flying stars and stripes flags and motors covered with branding for big apple films.
A tackle truck and American road works cones and signs have also been brought in.
Props are being stored in nearby streets with waste high metal railings put in place to stop

(19:48):
the public from gaining access. Waste high, that's not going to put anyone off. A cab was launched
into the air as a tank raced down the road during scenes for the £150 million production.
Dozens of guards in high-vests and walkie-talkies have been ordered to protect the set.
One said, "It's terrible. We can't leave anything lying around."

(20:12):
The film began this week with no sign yet of Brick actor Tom Holland or Fiancé Zendaya,
but we know we were there, so I guess this was before they appeared. Stranger Things actor Sadie
Sink and Mark Ruffalo, who stars as the Hulk in the studio's Avengers films, are often
are also slated to appear in the film alongside Marko Mando, who plays baddie Scorpion.
Filming comes just weeks after the same street was shut during shooting of Star Wars director J.J.

(20:39):
Abrams upcoming fantasy adventure Ghostwriter. Marvel Studios and Police Scotland have been
approached for comment. So, we can't have nice things Greg because people are fucking stealing the
street signs for Spider-Man. I mean, it's had this a prize. I mean, it could happen in any
city. I've been following it. It's been on my Instagram at all. I know that Tom Holland has been there,

(21:06):
and he's been filmed there. And he actually, there was a nice video of him signing some autographs
for some Scottish fans and there was a wee boy dressed up as Spider-Man that he lifted over the
barrier and posed for a photo with and stuff. But I've read that him being there might just be
for the marketing of the film because it seems to be most of the stunts that are being filmed,

(21:30):
which I know that he's quite a limber guy and he does some of the gymnastic stuff, but the stunts
that are being filmed are like the web slinging stunts, I'm sure they probably don't attach them to a
wire and do that, he's probably too expect to it. Sure, it's night near. But yeah, I think he just
seems to get a nice fair that Tom Holland, isn't he? Yeah, he does. He's a nice good egg, you know?

(21:52):
Yeah, nice kind of innocent guy, like obviously famously spoils a lot of things for the films in terms
of when he's doing things and stuff, but like total accidently, like he just has a bit innocent and
but yeah, he seems like a really nice guy and I did see I think it was an Instagram video, someone commenting
on the filming and saying exactly that, that it's just a marketing stunt that he's there and there

(22:16):
was like, there was him in the Spider-Man suit on top of something for this mascot attending shoot webs.
And they were like, well, obviously that's not from the film because he's not going to have his
mask off in front of all those people, you know, because I guess spoiler, if you haven't seen the
first three Spider-Man films, but I guess he's kind of just got his identity back. Yeah, yeah,
sense. So yeah, so I think that's probably just a marketing stunt, but who knows, we'll see, but

(22:43):
yeah, let's go to see, we just see the video of the guy that they had to chase off the set,
like some fucking waidle in a chase that these potential shoot webs at the school at Egard, so that's
that's it out there away. Well, it's good. I mean, Glasgow is just a H-H-A, Brunsett film in there,
we've said a lot, there's a lot of great films, you know, it's still a big kind of hub, you know,

(23:05):
went to see the fantastic four last weekend, and prior to that, there was a trailer for the new
Running Man film, which I know you as well. And I'd say to my girl, for now, some of that was filmed in Glasgow,
really, and I was like, yeah, yeah, it's a big, big filming location for a lot of stuff, so yeah,

(23:26):
it's good. Good tax, good tax breaks, I think, for the film company, but in Glasgow,
Glasgow lends itself quite well to be addressed up, so it's designed like in Americans, the city centre
is at least anyway. I remember when I was there, just I took my daughter, it's just a three of us
over about six years ago, and it's when they were filming Hobbes in Shaw, the fantastic, the fast

(23:49):
and furious spin-off, and Glasgow was stubborn for London, and they were having car chases around
the merchant city, which when I saw the film was quite cool, although, you know, because it's like
Idris Elburn, Jason Stratham, and the rock, like, racing past, buildings that I know really well,
you know, and they, in fact, futuristic motorbikes and fast cars and stuff, you know.

(24:14):
Yeah, you forget a lot of stuff, funnily enough, this morning I was listening to a podcast that had
Kevin Hodgson on it, who of course plays Gordon in Tudor's Dine, and Samwich Shop Guy in the Flash,
and he was speaking, he's actually named, he's performing at the fringe, and I think his show is

(24:35):
called something, your sandwich comes with an American accent, and it's about how he got cast in
the flash, and he thought, this is it, this is it, I am going to fucking make it, and he hasn't,
and he kind of blames Esther Miller for it because he's like, because the film flopped, and he's just
basically because the film star Esther Miller went on this fucking multi-state rampage before the film

(25:00):
was released, and he lists some of the stuff that he did, he's like, you know, Grand Theft Auto in
Hawaii, something in somewhere else, he goes, my favorite scrap of Bingo One is Kidnapping in Massachusetts,
so I don't know if he's a bit resentful of Esther Miller, but it was good because he was saying

(25:21):
how Glasgow, you know, he lives in England, how it's, it was great, you know, kind of doubles up as
Gotham and stuff, how it was, you know, it's such a great film location, Annie Stier, they filmed it
there because it was so much cheaper than Vienna in the States. Yeah, they also, Ewa's his name, the
Spanish director, it's just filmed Frankenstein in Edinburgh, so it's a Benicio del Toro,

(25:46):
that's the actor, isn't that? Michel Del Toro? Oh, uh, Jesus, who do I think? Yeah, but he
should tell Toro the actor, yes, I'm toxic, no totally, but I think he's well. What do you do?
I don't know, I trust you, that's terrible. It begins with, it begins with G, right? It's, it's
Gillmord, Gillmord, Gillmord, that's the, that's the, that's the very man. Jesus, God, oh my God,

(26:14):
oh, fuck up, can I get out on that? Yeah, he has, yeah, there was a story about Sheer the Boothaw
was getting a square goal with some guy in Edinburgh because it says get all friends in Frankenstein,
I'm just out for a couple of quiet paints and sighted to get fucking, I don't think it takes much
to wind Sheer the Boothaw, no, he's definitely not, definitely not, he's sort of, he's sort of

(26:36):
constantly on the edge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good old Sheer. Anyway, yeah, so that's why we can't have
nice things in Scotland, but yes, maybe more films will continue to film in Glasgow if they stop getting
stuff pinched. Anyway, what else have you seen this week, buddy? Well, it's a bit of a celebrity special
on the swally news up until now, anyway, so one of the stars of the film will be talking about later,

(27:03):
what we did in our holiday, Billy Conley, his friend is writing a new biography, his friend Colin
McFarland is writing a new biography of Billy about his sort of adventures and celebrity and the
big Yens early brushes with the law before he found fame are set to be one of the highlights of the
book. So Colin has written a take on the celebrities that Billy has befriended over the years, such as Sean

(27:28):
Connery, Andy Murray, Michael Parkinson, Judy Dench, Steve Martin, Wod's Sure, Robin Williams, and Michael
Kane, they're among the two, the 200 names we feature in the book, Sir Billy Conley, King of Comedy
and his famous pals, but during his 18 months of research for the book, Colin discovered that Billy
had racked up a number of criminal convictions and even spent a night in the cells in his pajamas

(27:53):
before he became an international superstar. Colin's, Colin is given Billy's brushes with
a lot's own chapter and says underworld figures, including the famous safe cracker Johnny Rimminski
and Glasgow Hardman Colin Beatay, had an impact on the on the comic. They author discovered Billy's
criminal past in a series of interviews that the comic gave to the Journal of the Stuncan Campbell

(28:18):
almost 50 years ago for a forgotten 1976 biography titled Billy Conley, the authorised version.
It came out a year after Billy had made his big big break through with his first appearance on the
Michael Parkinson show. Colin says, Billy's criminal record appeared to have started when he was
cop playing football in finds half a crown, approximately 25 feet at the Marine Police Court in Partick.

(28:45):
After that he got done for siphoning petrol because he ran out a gas for his motorbike and had no money
on him. Local garages would not give him credit and he was faced having to push his bike back home
to drum chapel so he was left with no alternative. A siphoned off using a hose and a can in
was £5.15 in court. He then assaulted the guy in Bearsden and spent a night in jail at the

(29:10):
Mogeye Police Station. He thought it was very funny as the police came to arrest him at his house
and he was already in his pajamas. He looked out the window and saw the police coming so he put his
shirt in his jeans over the pajamas. When he was taken away and put in a police cell to
go off his clothes and manbed getting ready to sleep when a policeman peered through the spy hole in
the door. The police officer said whether they see them coming go but never in pajamas.

(29:32):
In the same 1976 book, Billy described how he was £5.15 and given a year suspended sentence when
he was 18 after another fight when he came to the rescue of a young woman who was being assaulted.
Colin added, "As a young man, Billy was also amazed at how the
judicial system treated the working classes compared to the middle classes. The working classes

(29:54):
seem to get done for everything but the middle class seemed to get away with it all."
In 1976 interview as Billy also admits being in court for several breaches of the police.
Eh sorry, several breaches of the peace for shouting and bawling and getting various 2 pound
fines but the big deal was soon one of the country's most recognisable people. Another big name in

(30:15):
Glasgow at this time was Arthur Thompson Sr who ruled the cities underworld. Colin said,
"There's a story that Arthur Thompson had met Billy in a pub and had said, 'They call you the
biggin. Do you know that I'm the real biggin?' But no one knows of this story. No one knows of this
story is actually true but it was a measure of Billy's growing fame that these kind of stories
were going to circulate. Billy had previously spoken of his admiration for the safe cracker

(30:40):
Johnny Raminsky who escaped five times from Peter head prison. In the second world war,
Raminsky parachuted behind enemy lines to steal documents. Colin said that Billy sees
Raminsky as a lovable rogue in a working class hero. Despite being a to-admatorious thief,
he had a strict code of personal ethics which included never resorting to violence when caught.

(31:01):
Earning him the nickname "Gentle Johnny" and another underworld figure who appears to have
impressed Billy was the hard man Colin Beatty. Billy once said, "Good looking Beatty" who was said
to run partick where Billy once lived was like an escapee from Hollywood to Billy he was a legendary
figure in partick. So, Sir Billy Colin, the only famous pals, is available in paperback from

(31:22):
from Amazon at £10.95 which strikes me as quite expensive for a paperback but there it is if you
want to read it. I think that's how much they are now with taste crack. Is it really? Yeah, it is
actually. I bought a paperback. I haven't bought books a lot for a while but I've kind of got back into it
for some reason, I got back into buying books and yeah, I bought for him Brady's book and I'm sure

(31:48):
that I got it. It was like nine euros in Amazon but I'm sure the price on the back was like £10.99
for a paperback in the UK. They're expensive now, yeah. My daughter just got back from a
week in Glasgow. This is the first time she's, she's 17, it's the first time she's made a trip like
that on her own. And she was fine but she was complaining at her expensive, bear in mind that she

(32:10):
wasn't to buy. And she was complaining at her expensive, she found everything in the UK. Yeah,
so she was. It is expensive, everywhere is expensive. But yeah, so Billy had a little bit of a cheeky
past, I think we all knew that, come on, he was a, you know, worked in the shipyards. So of course he
had a lot of, last year's past and what was he was filmed? He was filmed find half a crown for a bit.

(32:36):
I paid football in a no ball games area. That's shocking. Absolutely shocking. I mean, I bet that
policeman a few years later had a good story to tell everybody that he once caught Billy Conley
playing football in a no ball games area and finding half a crown. Yeah, I mean, I think he sort of
I've read, I've read Pamela Stevenson's autobiography about, she's a, Billy Conley's wife. So she wrote

(33:01):
a, I know, a biography of him years ago, which I read, which was good. And then he wrote his own
autobiography a couple of years ago, which I have to say isn't as good as Pamela. I don't think so.
Shit, I think she's just a better, no offense to the biggie. I think she's just a better writer than
him, you know what I mean? It was still entertaining, but you know, what both books agree on is that

(33:23):
it was at night, Mayor, we took when he had too much to drink. Yeah, you know, so you know, maybe sort of
famously he's been sober for over 40 years at this point. Clearing sober, but you know, back in the
old days, I think he was a bit of a hatter than with a few, a few pints and a few shorts and a
yeah, I think the, the demon drink can get to us all in terms of having a bit of a laugh and maybe

(33:47):
taking things a bit too far. And even as sober Conley's quite a, an extreme character,
anyway, so yeah, yeah, ads alcohol is a bit like, yeah, putting petrol on a fire and just watching it go.
So imagine he was up to, to all sorts of shenanigans when he'd had a few beers, but yeah, I think we've

(34:08):
all done, all done stuff that we probably shouldn't have with a, a bit of booze and a spits. Oh,
it's lovely to see you. That would be an interesting take then. That book in terms of all is kind of
famous friends and stuff you got up to. I'm sure there's some wonderful stories about, you know,
people like Robin Williams and stuff in there. That would be, yeah, very interesting to read, I think.
Well, I remember Michael Cain telling the story about Billy Conley when they were making this, I've

(34:31):
seen it. It's not a very good film, but he's in a film Michael Cain called Water. So I sat in
Sierra the owner or somewhere in Africa and apparently there's a scene when they were all in the bus
driving on a sort of narrow road up a cliff and maybe it wasn't a scene, maybe it was just that
they were just going somewhere on a bus and Conley was pissed and apparently kept putting his hands

(34:52):
over the driver's eyes. Yeah, there's, there's funnier and there's dangerous, yeah.
Had to be, had to be restrained by a few of the casting crew by all the kind. Anyway, that's my last
story this week. What are you finishing this with? My last story is from this Scottish son from last
week Rick and it is, the headline is Green and White Wedding, a Celtic daft bride dawned her wedding

(35:20):
dress to a game at parkhead as part of a dare by social media followers. Laura McGovern 52 was set
to tie the knot today, but the marriage was called off before she walked down the aisle. Not wanting
to put her £3000 wedding dress to waste, she decided to wait for a date at the match. The mum of five
who creates tiktoks under the name Big Eilie Ching Ching, just leave that there. Said she was

(35:46):
dared by followers to don the marital get up at the game. She drove herself from our home in Glasgow's
castle milk and was helped by a pal to get to the stadium for the hoops clash against St Merin.
Laura told the Scottish son, "I was supposed to get married a while back ago and we'd arranged a
big wedding in everything. About the dress, the rings, the lot and I was with them by ended up calling

(36:07):
the wedding off. So I was left with a wedding dress and avenged you and everything I paid for,
the I paid for in mind you, and my tiktok followers dared made aware my wedding dress today,
and make out that I was getting married." After taking her seat in the Lisbon lion stand,
she ended up with a spectacular reception from her fellow fans. She was constantly being asked for

(36:28):
photos and laughs as she told fans she had left her man waiting at the altar. One bold hoops fan
even jokes about marrying her on the spot. Laura added, "It was absolutely amazing. People were
running up, people were taking selfies with me, people were saying congratulations, people were laughing,
people were saying, "Well congratulations, where's your husband?" I was just saying I left him

(36:50):
because I wanted to come to the Celtic game and it was just, it was just brilliant. I couldn't even
get out the stadium until people stopped taking photos of me. It was crazy, absolutely crazy.
It was actually quite a lot. Somebody did say to me, "Oh that's a shame, I'm out of you just now."
Laura ended up having to leave before she could see her team was one no-win because the dress was

(37:13):
causing issues. She said her wedding dress wasn't the best for sitting in the Sunday sun,
or going to the football. The heat became such an issue that she had to leave at half time,
but still reckons it was worth it. The mum said, "A few times I nearly went flat on my face,
it was very difficult and I was roasted, I was roasted hot, sitting there watching the game.

(37:34):
I had to leave at half time, I wish I'd stayed but I was just too warm. I was melting because it was
have very, very heavy dress, but it was worth it to do that. I enjoyed it. I drove my car in the
wedding dress and then I walked it through the streets. It was actually crazy. I could barely see
over the steering wheel. It took me about an hour and a half to get through a couple of streets

(37:55):
to the actual stadium and I struggled to get away with it as well. I was just happy to get to the game.
I've been a Celtic fan my whole life, but as a single mum of five kids, I can't afford to take them
all." But she says the whole thing was worth it to see her team play and come away with a good
story to tell. So there you go Greg. She won her £3000 in dress to a Celtic match and she's got a

(38:17):
good story to tell. Are you sure she was the one that called it off? She wasn't the abandon at the
order. "Hey, we'll just go with what she says." She says she called the wedding off. She paid for everything
but she called the wedding off. But yeah, I wanted to get the good out of her dress and weigh it to
see the hoops in her wedding dress. You're about anything for a special occasion and it hasn't turned

(38:42):
out and then you've worn it somewhere else or anything? I don't think so. I don't think I'm pretty sure.
I mean, fortunately, the last big expensive outfit that I laid money out for was my Celt and everything
else that goes with it. Fortunately, my wife turned up to get married. I've had a fair use out of it,

(39:03):
you know, it's almost 20 years, almost 20 years. I mean, I can't remember the last time I wore it. Maybe
my sister's... It's been a while since I wore it. So I've not been that wedding for ages.
I think the last wedding was my sister's and that was like six years ago. Yeah, but invited to a wedding
in England in November. So it's like, okay, that's kind of perfect. Kilt weather. So I need to try it

(39:28):
all on and see if it's still... Oh, I'm sure it'll still be fine. The only thing I might need a new
shirt or something but I'm pretty sure it should all be okay but I'm going to try it on within the next
few weeks so that I've got time in case I need to order anything. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, I'm
really proud of my Kilt because I said my... Well, my second name should be McFee, if not for the

(39:52):
forcible name change that I went through my mumly married when it was eight. So when my Kilt is in
the McFee tartan, which I'm quite proud of, the only thing not to be, you know, uncharitable to my
ancestors, but I wish it was not quite as red, it was though the colors were a wee bit darker because

(40:13):
it's pretty, it's quite bright red, but the McFee tartan. I wish it was like a sort of purpley black color,
you know. Oh, never mind. You'd be proud to wait it. Well, you could wait it to a football match, Greg,
if you ever fancy that, you know, and just joke that you were the dashing bride or something or

(40:34):
the degree. Yeah, you used to like to get a Kilt on to go to the Scotland games, didn't you? I did,
yeah, yeah, a couple of times went to a Scotland game and I'd get my Kilt on. I think it was just that
kind of period of time. I mean, even going to the pub, we would get my Kilt on to go watch like a
Scotland game, or some sort of a nation or something. It was just always a... Let's be honest, it was just

(40:55):
an excuse to go out and drink and wear the Kilt and obviously it would attract female attention.
That was why we did it back in it, day. When my wife and I were on our honeymoon, we were on our
Royal Caribbean cruise and they said, you know, when we were in the sentence, the atinerary,
in the sort of months before we went away, they said there would be two formal nights for dinner.

(41:15):
And if you wanted to go, you had to dress and sort of black tie. So my wife said, well, why don't you take
your Kilt and everything? So I did. And I was a bit of a hit in my Kilt because we sailed from
Los Angeles. So the majority of the people in the ship were Americans. And a big percentage of
those Americans were students on spring break. And then on the second night, the second formal night,

(41:41):
the second week, quite a lot of them wanted to photograph with me. And they did it want to photograph
with Paula. Paula was a bit, my wife, that is, she was a bit excluded. But yes, I'm quite attractive.
Not just girls, but also boys as well. That guys are what did the picture take. And then I'm
really good night with them because my wife went off to beds, relatively early. And I found myself,

(42:05):
I sat at the bar on my own, said, struck up a bit of a rapport with the bartender. And I wanted
just to get right on it. And then when the bar closed, the only bar that was open was the casino,
and a lot of the young guys in the casino were people who had worked the picture taken. So I
ended up in the rounds and had a great evening, woke up the next day, not feeling the best. And when

(42:28):
you're in a cruise ship cabin at the cheapest one, there's no windows. And it's hard enough to get
in and out of the kelp gear in a well lit room sober, getting it off in a fucking pitch black room.
Hammards. I mean, that's the cat. This should be a taskmaster. Task is really difficult. And especially

(42:48):
when you're trying not to wake up your, your new wife, you know? Yeah, many a morning I've woken up
with just my guilt just strewn on the floor in various bits just all over the place. And it's a,
a sad thing hungover, having to pick it all up and pack it all away and put it all in its boxes
and everything. So yeah, have you ever woken up in your kelp? If I too much a drink just fall

(43:11):
on the sleigh, they're woken up absolutely roasted. Yeah, I have, yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's not a nice
thing. It's not a, it's not a comfortable to sleep in. No, not really. No, it's not the nice,
very sweaty. Yeah, big heavy, big heavy bit of material into the kelp. Yeah, it is. So I'm hoping
it'll be fine for a November wedding in Englandshire. So I'm sure you'll wait about some England.

(43:36):
Are you going to Cheltenham? Think. Yeah, Cheltenham fancy. Push please. Is it? Yeah.
Okay, it is indeed. Well, the nice thing. Thanks very much. We'll see. But yeah, so,
yeah, that was our, our blushing bright at Celtic Park. Have you seen anything else this week,
buddy? I have not. Okay. Would you like to play a little ride of Greg versus AI? I'm ready. All right.

(44:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's time to play a little swallow game.
If it's Pish, Nikki and Greg take no blame. We're recast and famous stuff with a Scottish cast.
If the feature is rubbish, it probably won't last. We'll get right down to the finity gritty
and book Cosmo and Costello and sex in the city. So sit back and enjoy your fine Scottish pie

(44:26):
and listen to the treat that is Greg versus AI.
Okay, this is our new feature Greg versus AI. We launched it last episode. We
pitted AI against Greg of who had the best cast list for breaking bad. But this week you've picked
something completely different, haven't you Greg? What are we looking at this week? I've picked one

(44:47):
of my favorite. This is, this is probably in my top, definitely my top 10 favorite films quite
possibly my top five. And I picked Paul Thomas Anderson's inaugural, inaugural feature film,
Boogie Nights from 1997. Boogie Nights, Mark Wahlberg and Bart Reynolds,

(45:09):
John C. Riley, Philip C. Moore Hoffman, what a cast, what a cast. But AI have come up with a new
storyline and cast list for Boogie Nights. So we're going to see who did it better. So AI, I think
we're going to find this like they tend to go with basically the original film and just put a
slight little twist on it. But the cast list they've come up with, I think is quite all right. We're

(45:33):
going to see how this goes. So they have called it Boogie Nights of the Clyde. Sit in 1970s, 80s
Glasgow, chip shop worker Eddie McTaggart is discovered by an underground filmmaker and becomes
Dark McSteel, a local adult film icon. I'm a disco, videotape and drug-fueled chaos. He must find his

(45:54):
true self. Well, that's pretty good. So far, I mean, I definitely cover that in a swallow.
Have you come up with a little remake or have? So I've got, I mean, I'm keeping the setting in the
1970s and I've called it Skirlin Nights. Brilliant. So Eddie Cohn, CEO of the Berlin, is a glass washer

(46:21):
at the Scotiabar where a pioneer of Scott's stagging grott films, Jackie Horner hangs out and he
happens to be having a push beside Eddie one night and he can't help but notice that Eddie's got
they come massive, while up on him. So he quickly recruits Eddie into his company of actors where

(46:44):
it becomes a rising star. But you know, with great fame comes great responsibilities.
Oh, that's exciting. Definitely. I'd love to see that. Last washer at the Scotiab, fantastic.
Wonderful. Okay, so we need a cast for this, this Scottish remake. So in the role of Eddie Adams

(47:05):
or Dark Diggler, famously played by Mark Wahlberg in the 1997 original, AI has decided to cast
Lewis Gribben. Interesting. Yeah, could be. What about yourself? Well, I went for
something, an actor with physicality, who's also quite handsome. Yeah. So I've gone with Jack

(47:28):
Loden and I've changed his name, his stage name to Wally Welt. Wally Welt. Holy fuck. Okay.
Wally Welt, okay, that's better than Dark McSteel. AI have just kind of gone a little bit generic
with that. Okay. Yeah, I think we'd have to go with Jack Loden because he does nothing with

(47:52):
Lewis Gribben, but he has a little bit more of the handsomeness, I think. Yeah. So I think we'll go
with Jack Loden in that role, definitely. Okay. Then of course, we have Jack Horner played by
Burt Reynolds. AI have decided to give that role to Peter Mullin. Right. Now I did not give it to

(48:14):
Peter Mullin. I was thinking to myself, Burt Reynolds. Yeah. Good, good looking guy. Yeah. Very, very
funny, but can also go serious as well when he has to. Yeah. So I went with one of the stars of
tonight's show, film, Billy Conley. You see Billy is a porn baron. A younger Conley, yes, obviously not

(48:36):
now. Yeah, I mean, I would say definitely over Mullin. Mullin doesn't, because if you look at
Reynolds, he's got, he's a big guy Reynolds. Yeah, a big guy. He's an American football. Conley,
Conley was a big guy in his day as well. Oh, he's a big fan. Oh, yeah. No, I'm agreeing with you
on Conley, rather than Mullin. Yeah. I know. I think Conley, he's got, yeah, because obviously we've

(48:58):
seen him. I'm thinking, yeah, like deck collector, kind of era Conley. Yeah. What's a Willie Jokes?
Yeah. Yeah, but with a bit more, you know, you know, you know, let's cross deck collector Conley
and down among the big boys, Conley. Yes. You kind of get a good little mix, I think, of, yeah, no,

(49:23):
I'm going, you Greg, I think that sets too null to you. Okay. Okay. So the other cast members that
we have, we have Amber Waves, who was played by Julianne Moore in the original film. AI has decided
to cast Kelly McDonald in that role. No, I have got, I think I've gone, so Amber Waves,

(49:43):
sort of older women, sort of middle aged women. And I know I suppose that Kelly McDonald is that.
But I've gone for somebody who has a sort of unconventional attractiveness, not, not
adverse to doing a sex scene. I've gone for Michelle Gomez. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Definitely.

(50:07):
Just the right level of, yeah, play a bit different. And yeah, no, I can see that. Yeah.
Would be good at doing this sort of manic, cooked up. Very much so. Although I've not called her Amber Waves.
Yeah, laughing at my own humor here. I've called her Ginger Lum Ginger Lum for all of you.

(50:32):
AI have gone with Amber Glenn. But yeah, I think yeah, yeah. Ginger Lum, I like it. I just think that
sort of Scottish, the Scottish pornography industry in the 1970s is going to be about
Waves, a bit escort, sort of working men's humor. You know what I mean? It's not going to be

(50:53):
sort of classy California. It's going to be kind of, you stand the Glasgow nickname. Yeah,
it's definitely not going to be all champagne. It's going to be Kestrel definitely. Yeah. Kestrel
Blu non, Blu non. Baby sham flowing. Yeah, definitely in this school. Sure. Of course. Yeah.
More places. Reed Rothschild played by John C. Riley in the original film. AI has cast James McAvoy

(51:18):
in that role. That's not bad. I like McAvoy. I mean, I think that's one of his best roles.
Right? The Need Rothschild. I don't know how many times you've seen "Buggin' Eights." I've seen it a lot
of time. And he must have my favourite character, especially in the recording scene when he's like,
he's just basically telling the producer to do what they're casting to do when the recording you've

(51:40):
got the touch of Transformers the movie. So I've gone for a slightly older character because I always
seem to be like a favourite older than Dirk in "Buggin' Eights." I've gone with Craig Ferguson.
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I give, yeah, I could see that. I try to keep up with

(52:01):
the younger guy, you know what I mean? Yeah, I would go with you again on that. And yeah, he's definitely
got a bit more about it. I think McAvoy definitely has the chops to pull that off, but I could see
yeah, Craig Ferguson would be a little bit more larger than life in that role. Yeah. A younger
McAvoy may have made a good, well-e-well, you know? It would have actually, yeah, yeah, I think he might have done.

(52:24):
What's AI called, Reed? They've called him "Ready Campbell." Oh, I've called him "Retrie McRader."
Yeah, definitely better. Definitely better.
Okay, um, Scotty J, played by Philip Seymour Hoffman. AI has decided to give that role to Martin

(52:46):
Compton. That's not bad, actually. I could see that if I thought a good, he's too old now, but a young
Alan coming would have made a good Scotty J, I think. Yeah. A young Alan coming, but I've not,
I've not cast him because I've sort of tried to be a bit more contemporary. And I've cast,
I've cast Lewis Grubin as Scotty. Okay, interesting. Yeah. He's got that sort of put upon kind of

(53:14):
countenance that Philip Seymour Hoffman has in biginates. Yeah, he does. You're right, actually. Yeah,
no, I'm going to have to give that one to you as well. Yeah, you're running away with this, mate.
It definitely. Trying to an AI. Who else have you got listed? I've got Buck, played by Don Chido,
I've got Little Bill and Roller Girl. Okay. You don't have Todd Parker played by Thomas Jane.

(53:39):
No, because he only sort of in the last act of the film, he's not really in it all with, you know.
That's good, because AI cast Kevin Guthrie in that role. Okay, Buck Swoop has recast as Bucky Swoop.
So, they're a lot of Bucky element. I don't think they did that on purpose. I don't know, maybe they did.
Originally played by Don Chido, I am going to butcher the pronunciation of this name because I don't

(54:01):
watch Doctor Who, but it's Nikuti Gatwa. So, I've chosen the Nikuti Gatwa because of Buck's story
in biginates. So, his ethnicity is important to his story. So, I had to be a black actor.
So, I've changed his name, I've changed his name to an African name, the character from Buck. I've
changed his name to Moshe the Tongue. Oh, wow, I like it. I like it. Works on very different levels as

(54:29):
well. Nice. Okay, yeah, I'll have to go with, well, that's a draw. So, well, yeah, because it's
past the same actor. Okay, Little Bill played by William H. Macy in the original, renamed as Little
Bill McDougall in the Scottish version of Bucky Dites. They've gone with Gary Lewis. I've

(54:50):
gone with the very same. Oh, look at that. Yeah. He'd be good, I think, yeah. I changed his name,
Owie Bill because Bill is sort of Scottish. He feels a bit of a North Atlantic, then at them. So,
yeah, I went with Owie Bill. I think, yeah, Gary Lewis, probably the right age and everything.
Yeah, that goes. Okay. I've given you, for that, and Nikuti, I've given you both a point each,

(55:11):
rather than just stay as a thing. And finally, Roller Girl played by Heather Graham in the original.
Jesse Roller Girl, McLeod in the Scottish remake. And AI have cast, again, a name that's cropped up,
I think on the last three episodes, we really need to get round to watching this. Lauren Lyall
from Karen Perry. Well, yeah, yeah. So I didn't go, I didn't go with her. I would cast, did you cast

(55:39):
Marley Sue as a real girl? Yeah, I did because I thought we needed a bit more ethnic, a bit more
diversity in the cast. And who's, how fucking you you'd cast any excuse to get Marley Sue to something?
Although, I've kept a name Roller Girl, but she'll remember Wade and those fancy roller boots.
She'd be Wade and those roller skates. They used to sort of strap on your shoes back in the 70s.

(56:03):
I know exactly the one, Jimmy. You could adjust the length underneath if you had a pair of,
if you had like a pair of pliers that are we, uh, socket wrench? And the ones that were will
are used to wear, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, exactly there. Good, yeah. Shrapteys, big tachyty beats.
Fantastic. I was kind of half joking. I was like, I have you cast Marley Sue, but I kind of thought

(56:27):
you might. Okay, wonderful. Right. Well, that is the Scottish version of Boogie Nights. I have
counted up the scores and I gave AI a couple of points for Nekudi and Gary Lewis, but gave you as
well. So of the eight characters cast Greg has eight points and AI has two because it was obviously,
I draw sympathy kind of draw there. But yeah, so yeah, another one for Greg versus AI. Greg wins again.

(56:53):
Once again, if anybody wants a treatment for the Scottish version of Breaking Bad or Skirling Nights,
I'm available. Yeah, well, 2000 words. Yeah, better than AI.
That's official. It's 2-0. What a streak Greg's on. So tune in the next episode to find out what

(57:15):
we will be tackling next in Greg versus AI. And I came up with that without milk and a fucking
iceberg. Just seeing. All right. We're using this as a feature. Jesus. Okay, right. Before we get
into any more trouble and before we go on to what we're going to be talking about today, let's have
a little word from our sponsors. If you book your summer holiday at 80 Mays now, you could save

(57:39):
over 50 pounds with all our 50 50 bonuses. Yes, 50 pounds just for you at 80 Mays.
Okay, Greg. So it was your choice of what we're going to be talking about on the podcast today
and very aptly timed. So why do you tell us what we're going to be talking about? Well, I went with
what looked to me to be a fairly gentle, hopefully fun, well-cast comedy, which it is until a certain

(58:07):
incident happens in the film, which turns it on its head, which we'll get to to talk about in depth
no doubt very shortly. But I went for 2014's comedy drama, What We Did in Our Holiday. So a
separated couple, Doug and Abby McLeod travel from London to the Highlands with her three children,
Wotte, Mickey and Jess for Doug's father, Gordy's 75th birthday. For the sake of appearance, they keep

(58:34):
the separation a secret from Doug's family. Gordy has terminal cancer, which he is keeping a secret
from everybody. On the day of his party, he passes away on an outing on the beach with the grandkids
leading to what can best be described as a bizarre turn of events. The film stars David Tennant
and the lovely, lovely Rosamond Pike as Doug and Abby. Ben Miller and Amelia Bailmore as Gavin McLeod,

(59:01):
Doug's brother and Margaret is sister-in-law and Billy Conley as the poorly Gordy. Directed by Greg
Jenkins and Andy Hamilton, it's available BBC iPlayer because Greg, sorry, Guy Jenkins and Andy Hamilton
are also responsible for long-running BBC sitcom outnumbered, which this is sort of adjacent to

(59:25):
stylistically in some respects, it's quite similar. So I had never seen it. I had a safe bet to assume
you had never seen it either. Why would you have seen that? What, it does fit all your criteria
filmed in Scotland, only an over 35 minutes long and it's said in a modern day. That's true.

(59:48):
Very true actually. But it also passed me, it's a 12 year old movie and I passed me by as well
when it first came out. So yeah, it's holiday time, seemed like the perfect time to pick it.
What were your first impressions of what we did on our holiday?
Well, I'd heard about the film and I was aware of it of course, as you say, David Tennant

(01:00:11):
and Rosemary Pike, Billy Conley, New York, but first time watching it and same as I thought it'd be
a little gentle comedy. I can't deny the premise, they were getting divorced, they were hiding it from
the family. That was all I knew. I didn't know that. The father, you know, granddad had terminal cancer,
I didn't know anything about that. So I thought it would just be high jinx if them hiding the divorce
and then something would happen and then they would get back together and it would be happily

(01:00:34):
ever after or something. High jinx. I'd say it was all right. I laughed a few times.
I was engaged, probably because of the cast. It's not exactly a masterpiece, but it was okay.
I had some good moments. I would say I hadn't read about it as I say in about 15 minutes in.
I thought to myself and I wrote down in my notes, this is a bit of a repart for without numbered.

(01:00:58):
Yeah, yeah, because I did watch out numbered and I liked outnumbered. I did. It was really good.
I love Hugh Dennis and I thought it was very well done and it shows that this kind of concept works
in 30 minutes. Yeah, it doesn't work when you have an hour and a half of it.
So when it ended and I looked it up and I was like, oh, of course it's by Andy Hamilton and Guy

(01:01:18):
Jenk and Hugh of course created and wrote outnumbered. Now, as you said, like the films set up with
the premise they're getting into a divorce track, how are you different to kids? I have to admit,
so I thought it would be 90 minutes of that, but then as you say it goes completely off-kilter.
And I totally different direction and I have to say I was not expecting what happened. And thank
God for that is it was so much better than I anticipated because there was little bits. I mean,

(01:01:43):
well, come on, it discussed, but there was one moment I was like, what the fuck? And yeah, it was,
it goes crazy. But yeah, it's nice. I mean, it's heavily reliant on the kids.
Like I say, they did make me laugh quite a few times in the first 10 minutes and then I kind of
didn't laugh much after that. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I would agree. That kind of comedy.

(01:02:07):
The problem is that the wee girl that sent outnumbered Ramona, the actual Shimonah Marquez that plays
the youngest girl in outnumbered, she is, she is like an adult. Well, she's an adult now, but back then
she was like an adult in another person's body. Which is why it was so funny. Yeah.
Yeah, whereas, I mean, the actors who play the kids in this movie are good, but the youngest girl

(01:02:34):
who play the youngest girl, the character who's the character Jess. She's kind of a, it's like they're
trying to get her to be like Karen from outnumbered. Yes. And she's like, God, love her, but she just
doesn't have that edge that Ramona Marquez has. She's got some great moments and she's as sweet as
anything in some moments, but because you know that the film is, it's by design supposed to be like

(01:03:01):
sort of outnumbered adjacent and in the style of it, you can't help but compare her to Ramona Marquez
and unfortunately she doesn't quite hit the mark. And I think the more effective character of
the three kids is Wautay and the older one because you know she's got a bit more of an objective rather
than just to do funny things and she's got some nice scenes with Billy Conlay and she's the sort of

(01:03:27):
conscience, she's got a conscience of the film, you know. I think you're right, outnumbered Kenna
works because one, it's in small doses of half hour, but two, the three child actors, they're very
relatable on a way because they're kind of like, as you say Karen is very, like an adult and she asks
adult questions and she's very serious and you know, fairs, yes. Then the middle child Ben is just

(01:03:53):
this loud monster kind of, you get the impression, it's a bit dumb, but it just kind of, you know,
is very loud all the time and and fighting and then the eldest child is Jake I think,
pay by Terry and Honey, he is like a moody teenager and you know, it works in that setting as well
because you have the three different dynamics. I kind of felt sorry for the kids in this because,

(01:04:17):
I mean the film has a serious undertone in like divorce and separation. Yeah.
At numbers, it's usually quite light, the subject matter is, you know, the storylines, it's
something that's relatable and funny. Yeah. Those kids aren't setting fire to any dead bodies
and they're numbered. No, they're definitely not. So looking at the kids objectively from this,
I thought that well, Jess is obviously going through some kind of issues because her best friends are

(01:04:41):
rocks and half a breezeman. Yeah. She's also a kleptomaniac because she's stealing keys all the time
and she's self-harming because she's holding her breath until she blacks out. That's always a laugh. Yeah.
Mikey's obviously trying to go through the trauma by being obsessed with Norse mythology and
Viking heroes and the kind of the supernatural and seeing Odin and stuff for every turn.

(01:05:04):
And Poo Lottie is so anxiety-ridid that she has to keep track of all the lies her family tell
in a notebook so she doesn't mess up. If that's not setting up a "Rockest Comedy", I don't know what is.
Jeez, what the... Oh, for... What's that? That's Eric. Eric? Yes. He wants to come to Scotland with us too.

(01:05:27):
Thing is, darling, Eric's going to be a bit heavy and well hang on, there's a... What's this? That's...
That's no one. That's half a breeze, but how did you even pick that up? I can't sleep without no one.
You sleep with this in your bed. No, that'll be stupid. He goes at the bottom of my bed to make sure

(01:05:48):
the bad ones don't come in. So there's bad stones and good stones? Yeah, Viking real life. Sure.
That's the way I objectively viewed the kids in terms of the way they get asked the characters
that they're portraying in this. Now obviously it's not that way in terms of things. But I think a lot of the...

(01:06:10):
For me, I mean, yes, there are some funny moments in terms of the the act of the kids when they're with
tenant and pike in those situations. But for me, the kids really come into their own when they're
with Connolly and in particular, for my neck, and it craws me. And it shows the fact that they're like
grandparenty and the scenes with Connolly and the kids it's really sweet because you can just tell

(01:06:33):
he's like, "I really nice granddad." And I bet the kids fucking loved him on set as well. Yeah,
and yeah, but it was great fun. The same with with Crosby, you know, it's her, the line she delivers when
she's speaking about the ostrich eggs and she says, "You know, I came out at the bottom, well that's why
they're so angry all the time." It's just brilliant. When, you know, the kids are asking her, "What's
a lesbian?" And she said, "It's so well done. That's really, really good. The element, I thought

(01:07:00):
that was great." And yet the parts with Connolly really sweet and really good. But yeah, somebody had
their parts, I mean, in particular, the parts with like winding up like Greg's character. Is it Greg?
Gavin, sorry, Gavin's character. They play by Ben Miller. Yeah. Some of them, they're quite funny
in a way, but then Ben Miller's character, you know, you're not meant to like him. So it kind of

(01:07:22):
doesn't work that well when he's kind of flying off the handle. Don't know, I realize that this is
kind of outnumbered the movie because they probably, I think outnumbered his main run, it kind of
just come to an end when this, I think it was only like a couple of specials after this. So I guess
they kind of found, right, we lead to trying, kind of capture the success of this and do it with

(01:07:46):
three different kids and make it into a film. And David Tennant's hot at the moment and Rosemary
Pike is obviously, you know, her, this came out the month, or the week before Gone Girl came out
in the UK. So people that went to this, yeah, came out the week before Gone Girl. So two very
different roles for Rosemary Pike in a fortnight. Yeah. Because I listened to her being interviewed on

(01:08:08):
Camo de Mayo's podcast and saying, "Mail, they spoke about this for a bit and then they spoke about
Gone Girl for a lot of it." Yeah. She said that she filmed this, she just finished, it was like the last
week of filming, she got the confirmation that she got Gone Girl. So it must have been a while before
this got released and then she often went off and worked with David Fincher. So yeah, very different

(01:08:31):
kind of roles, but yeah, I don't know, the kids obviously make up a big part of the film, but then also,
kind of done well, I got a lot of them. Well, let me set the scene for you. So I only got the chance
to watch this once and I didn't get to watch it until Saturday because I knew we were recording today.
So on Friday, my friend came round and had a few beers, right? Went to bed, we bit drunk,

(01:08:57):
had had a bit of a rough week with work, it was pretty tired from all the traveling that I'd done,
not helped by going to bed quietly and Friday night in my cups. So I watched it on Saturday afternoon,
a slight hangover, but enough of a hangover to be really quite upset, wouldn't it be connolly that?
Well, unfortunately, I was home by myself, but obviously, having lost my own father to terminal

(01:09:25):
cancer, well, to cancer, three years ago, I dug a few things up there, which I wasn't emotionally
prepared for, because I thought I was sitting down to watch a light hearted comedy about a couple
who were separated, who would ultimately get back together again with a lovely reconciliation at

(01:09:46):
the end. I was not prepared for Bidicon, they'd die on a beach, be in strap to a palette with a
deck chair as a sail, have a 10-year-old poor petrol on them, set on fire and drifted out to sea.
We can effectively forget the first 45 minutes of this film, it's all set up too, and I thought

(01:10:09):
exactly the same as you, they'll have a day at the beach, then they'll go back to the party,
and like, Jordy, you'll get pissed or something and something will happen, and you know,
the party will be ruined, but ultimately they'll get back together. You're right, when he fakes being
dead, it's like, okay, okay, it's a laugh, right? And then when he sees his brother, because it's always

(01:10:31):
a laugh, tricking your grandchildren and thinking that you've died. When he sees the vision of his brother,
and he's like, oh, oh, you're here for me. And then his brother says something like, come on,
you're big Mary, which is like, that's very fake, I mean, God, and then he dies, and I was like,

(01:10:56):
oh, he's dead. That's okay. So then I presumed that the kids were going to, because they immediately
kind of discussed, well, they'll go back and then they'll hide it, I thought they're going to be
someone hide it. I did not expect them to decide to give them a Viking funeral, and even when they're
building it, I'm like, well, someone's going to happen. Someone's going to have it. The bit that I was like,

(01:11:16):
oh, fuck, they're doing this is when they poor pet roll on them, as you just said. And I'm like, are they
actually doing this? And they take the matches? And I'm like, no, surely not. And then they like the
match and then, woof, yeah, I'll pick what's what the fuck I really did not see that coming. I

(01:11:36):
thought an X-Rosebe is going to appear at any moment within our stretch. And, yeah, well, somehow
stop them and chill, console them, and they'll have like a little party or something, and it'll be fine.
No, there's no one else on the beach at all, and these kids literally set fire to him and push him
out to see. Well, I, when Vlottie runs, so the oldest daughter, Vlottie, runs from the beach back to

(01:12:03):
the big house to raise the alarm that Gordy has passed away. So I was like, and then when she gets there,
she runs, she kind of runs into adults arguing, and they don't notice her because they're too busy
arguing. And then she kind of hides up the chimney for a minute. And then she runs back to the beach,

(01:12:24):
and I thought, surely not, they're surely not going to make these child actors pretend to set
fire to Billy Conley and push him out to see. That's surely not going to happen. Come on.
It does happen. That's exactly what happens. It sounds so ridiculous. You see that?

(01:12:46):
The, um, so yeah, Vlottie goes back, and that is when Doug and Abbey are having an argument. And,
and that is, that's, that's the most I laughed in the film, that argument because she's been getting
phone calls from this guy Leon, and she tells him that she's moving to Newcastle potentially for this
new job. And tenant grabs the phone and he starts doing a Gordy accent going, Leon, Leon, are you

(01:13:11):
my kid's new daddy? And then, and she grabs the phone and she says, look, Leon's going to be my new
boss. The guy I'm screwing is a guy called Wallace. And it's off camera. You don't see it, but you're
just here David Tennant goes, what was does he have a doc? Oh, grommet. I first out laughing so hard at
that line. That's like, yeah. That made me laugh as well. Fantastic. But yeah, she goes in as you say,

(01:13:37):
hide up the chimney, steals his Scotland top because, uh, Gordy was a did play for Scotland once
again, sight, proceed scored. I know, would you never played again? And yeah, then they, they burn
is burn him with the Scotland top. And I really could not believe what I was watching in terms of this.
Yeah. I just kept thinking someone's going to stop them. Someone's going to come in. And I mean,

(01:14:00):
I was weeping. I was weeping. I was weeping tears from my own grief. I was, I shed a few tears
over burning that fucking Scotland jersey as well, because that was an absolute belter.
Yeah, it's a shame. And fear play, they get it. It set sail when they push it out. I was quite marvel

(01:14:21):
at the engineering feat that they managed in terms of, because yeah, good starts. This one, this
sort of harness the heats of the fire to kind of blast out the, the, the, the, their make sure,
the sail of the deck chair, which ultimately propels the, the burning boats out to, out to the sea.
Crazy. Um, so, but we call these characters in this gives us a couple of life lessons.

(01:14:43):
Mike, one of my favourite one, the one of my fave. So one particular good one is there's no point
being angry at the people you love for the way they are. And I thought that's a nice one.
Another one he says is the truth is every human being on this planet is ridiculous in their own way,
so we shouldn't judge, we shouldn't fight because on the end it doesn't matter. And then the third one

(01:15:05):
is when it likens the second world war to monopoly, but with more screaming.
He's been up there and up there in my house before.
Connolly, he is, he's great with the kids and they're the scenes where he really shines.
And you can tell he probably had a great time with him and they probably had a great time.

(01:15:26):
Yeah. He comes across a really grand fatherly and you know, only puts up with their nonsense.
He encourages it. You know, we get it's lotty to drive and she bashes into the new fires signs.
I've always wanted to do that. He just prepared like portrays this grandpa in every kid we'd love.
And when he dies, the kids don't really seem that shocked or are stuff like that.

(01:15:47):
Well, that's too busy. He's a planninger, very comfortable. But the wee girl Jess says,
what does she say? She says, goodbye. You were nice. Yeah. But that's quite poignant as well.
I wasn't quite an emotion. Quite an emotional, quite an emotional state of high emotion for about
20 minutes of that film. I had to pause it and compose myself. Oh, sorry.

(01:16:09):
But yeah, what is very, like, not official, but she's very cold in that. Practical.
Oh, yeah, practical. Yeah, we did this at Brownies and she's, you know,
checks his pulse. He's not breathing and checks his eyes and stuff. And yeah, it's very cold,
kind of the way she's dealing with things. And it's just like, oh, he's dead. I better go and tell the
grownups and you're kind of looking for a bit more emotion. And you know, the other kids are like, oh,

(01:16:33):
well, guard the body and I'm thinking, what's going to happen here? Someone's going to happen.
Yeah, someone's going to come, but no, nobody comes at all. I want to go in Tellin' it,
Crosby. She's closer. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I know. I mean, yeah, it's all a bit weird how that
scene's kind of built up. You know, I wonder if they sort of got the kids to play it the way they

(01:16:55):
played it to sort of add to the sort of scrubal comedy element that they're sort of trying to go for,
you know what I mean? Because the thing is, I think sort of, tonally, tonally, it's always going to be
difficult with a film like this because, you know, you're going from, the first time you see Mickey
falls off the back of the sofa, you know, then we have the scene with David Tennant and Jess and the

(01:17:19):
rocks and then we have a little bit, there's some quite funny banter in the car when they're arguing
about how long the journey's going to take and the sat nav and whatnot. And you've got that funny
moment when Billy Conley is on the boat fishing and he's got the TV in the bottom of the boat watching the
the race and the horse racing and things. Yeah. You know, so that's all, there's, I know,

(01:17:40):
Jesse, the keys, Mickey taking the helmets off, he's taking the horns off his helmet and all that
kind of thing and it's all kind of funny. Some of the jokes land quite well, some of the jokes
at a bit of a miss. And then, you know, you can have a character die, but because Gorday has got cancer,

(01:18:00):
which we know and, you know, his sons and family think that it's under control and he's getting better.
They don't understand that his treatment, he's having to stop it because it's putting a strain in
his heart. The only person, the only way that we find out that Gorday has got terminal cancer,
there's a couple of scenes when he's in severe pain, which that's always a laugh. And then there's

(01:18:24):
this scene when he tells Lottie that, you know, and he does tell her in quite a gentle way,
but it tells her that, you know, was it, he says, he said that it's like when you're being tickled,
you know, it says when I used to tickle Doug, when he was we and he would say, stop it, stop it, stop it,
and that would stop. And then he would say, no, keep going, keep going. They said, I can

(01:18:44):
feel a bit like that with life. Now that I know that I don't have very long left. So, you know,
there's a view, there's a view pathos there and it sort of made worse by the fact that apparently
Billy Coneley was being, you know, he had just discovered that he had prostate cancer and he'd had
these Parkinson's diagnosis round about the time that that, and you know, he had that going on when

(01:19:06):
he was making the film and he didn't tell any of the cast or crew, they only found out after the fact.
So, there's like a view, they can motion, there's like a real emotional heft to that scene with Lottie
and it's, it's almost too emotional for the rest of the film, you know what I mean? Because the rest
of the film, it's this end-center bit of a farce. Yeah, it really does in terms of that. It's very,

(01:19:29):
a lot of different parts can I put together and you're right, once they go back to the house, then it
does become a complete farce in terms of the way that the adults are reacting and then the press
are all outside and it does get a little bit ridiculous and then see the in-raise character,
child services and going through lots of book and stuff. It does kind of struggle and it kind of puts

(01:19:53):
together different elements kind of from different films in a way and kind of piecing them together.
Like some bits are really out of place, like you, you know, like Gavin and Margaret Sun, Kenneth,
like he's an oddish character, was he just there to have like another kind of odd child? But then,
you know, you're kind of thinking is he a bit of a weird child? Because when Gavin, when I'm playing

(01:20:17):
football, Gavin calls him a spaz and then he tackles Jess and you know, okay, that was funny, I laughed,
right? But you're thinking, can I just a bit of a dick and you know, if I a limb recital, but then,
you know, some more is the end, he's getting smelly fingers outside the tent and you're like, hey,
good on you lad, go for it. And then he just comes in like, oh, what if I missed, you know? And he's

(01:20:39):
just kind of a superfluous character after that. And I just, you know, wondered if they were just
trying to piece different things together, you know, like having that football match. What was the,
what was the point of that just to show that Jess had the keys or to show that another scene to show
that Gavin's a bit of a dick or what it was. But there was a lot of stuff that felt a little bit out of

(01:20:59):
place. And I think the, you know, I've already said about the kids and the kind of trauma that they've
been going through. I mean, if you look at the, the relationship of, of Doug and Abby, I mean,
there sounds like quite a right. Like we know that Doug cheated with a paraplegic athlete with one
foot, perhaps the most unrealistic part of the film. Imagine there's going to cheat on Rosman Pike

(01:21:20):
with anybody. I've got right in a bidoe skreg. It has its moments. It's very far fetched though.
The most far fetched thing part is being that David Tennant would cheat on Rosman Pike. But I can
believe a few other aspects of the film. So they, he's cheated on her with a paraplegic athlete with one
foot. The neighbor Lucy, obviously fucking hates him. We know the police have been involved and Doug

(01:21:41):
has been tasered at one point. And then when, when they're in the toilet and she says I will open the
window and screen break, he says, oh, not that again. And you're like, what the fuck? You two need to
get divorced as soon as possible and get away from those kids. You're damaging them. So I know it's
meant to be lighthearted. It's not at all. This film is seriously fucking dark undertones.

(01:22:06):
And, and of course, you know, speaking about Gavin and Margaret, they're meant to be a little bit of
comic relief. Margaret's on fucking anti-depressants and it's having meltdowns in the supermarket and it's
on YouTube for and a half million people have watched this clip and they make a joke out of it at the
end. And Gavin's as whole, including me, I've watched it three times. That's not funny. Why am I laughing

(01:22:29):
this? I didn't laugh at that actually. I did. I find that quite bad. But it's, um, yeah, there's a lot
in this film that just doesn't hit the mark. And I can maybe see what they're trying to do, but not in
a way. You're trying to do too much here. You either make it into this nice, gentle kind of comedy
or you make it into a dark, kind of more serious film. But yeah, it just kind of missed too many

(01:22:52):
points and steps for me. I wonder if, you know, so the film's 11 years old. And, like, a walk
can change in terms of what is deemed acceptable and unacceptable. And certainly, you know, I've spoken
about this a lot of times in the podcast, but, you know, like, gallows humour. It seems to be a little
harder to get away with these days. And I wonder if maybe despite ourselves we're looking at some elements

(01:23:18):
of this film through a sort of 20 to 25 lens. Where is it? If we saw it in 2014, we might not, it might not
have resonated in the same way, you know, we might have had a chuckle at Margaret having a meltdown and
bouncing the roll of toilet paper off someone's head in the supermarket, you know. We might have had a
laugh at Abby screaming rape to get the police to come stop an argument. You know what I mean? I don't

(01:23:43):
know. It's difficult, you know, it could just be as you've described. Maybe they've just completely
missed the mark in terms of the tone of some of the humour. Yeah, you could be right there, maybe
we are looking at it through a more adult as two men in our mid 40s through a 20, 25 lens. Maybe I'm
trying to think I don't know though. I'm sure I think if, if gallows humour is done in the right way,

(01:24:08):
look, last episode we leaked it the match. And when Ian Holmes character dies, it's quite funny,
you know, he still dies, but it's funny. I guess because of the way the character has been portrayed.
Now when Gourdy dies, you know, you're obviously meant to like him and he's, you know, it's
quite connolly. How could you not like him? And yeah, I mean, obviously if he'd abused the kids down at

(01:24:28):
the beach then we wouldn't have liked him, but you know, we're not seeing that. But he is a likeable
character. What he dies, you genuinely feel sad and you think, oh no. And now I don't know how you
would have made it humorous, but for them to just then pour petal on him and set him on fire is
it's not funny. I just, it shocked me more than finding it funny. And yeah, maybe you're right,

(01:24:51):
maybe, maybe if you've been, I don't know, maybe if you're in a bad character or maybe because it's
bit like Connolly, I don't know. Would we have found it funnier? I think it's because it's kids doing
it as well. Like it's, it's funny. I can laugh that she's got a breeze block that she calls Norman
that she sleeps at the end of her bed with. That's funny because that's the kind of thing kids
are meant to do. Kids aren't meant to set fire to bodies unless it's like rat catching.

(01:25:14):
Yeah, that's best set fire to the recently deceased.
Especially a grandad. But then it's true. Are they just because before that Connolly does tell them
what he wants for his funeral. He does say I want to be basically set fire and put out to see. He
literally tells them that. So through the lens of kids just do what the adults tell them or they

(01:25:37):
take things literally, they do take it literally. So is it the kids fault? They literally did what
you said he wanted? No, if I had to choose a funeral just give me a good old Viking funeral like my ancestors.
Just stick me in a bun and bought and float me out to see. No stupid family fights, no stupid

(01:25:58):
rouse about who gets what, or who does what. Just a warrior's farewell. You have to think that
there's going to be a lot of trauma to manage for these kids when they grow up.
You know what I mean? I have a lot of trauma to get passed because they're going to reach an age
where they realize that despite what grandad said he wanted just fully died, setting him on fire

(01:26:24):
and putting out to see was not the right thing to do or certainly not in the circumstances in which
they did it without telling anybody else that he passed away. You know what I mean? They're going
to at some point there's going to be nightmares, there's going to be troubles, forming relationships.
And I think that there's maybe to be serious and a bit intellectual for a second. There's maybe

(01:26:51):
a degree of a responsibility here on the part of the writers and the filmmakers to sort of pass that
off as either just doing what the grandad wanted than if the grandad so much that they just they just
fulfilled his when his last wishes. You can't really just chalk it up to that and say well it's only a
funny film because you know the reality is that's a fucking harrowing thing. You know and we obviously

(01:27:16):
for us we know it's just only a film but you know what what does a writer what do the writers want us
to take from the film do they because I sort of got the impression that one of the objectives of the
movie is well the adults all act like kids arguing and kind of reading anything and kind of sniping
each other and the kids are you know especially a lotty as I said before she's sort of like the conscience

(01:27:41):
and the level head of the film up until the point that she coordinates a fake and funeral she's sort
of the she's the one that can I keep everybody honest and the other two kids really are just there
for sort of comedy effect right so you know what the what is what message are they try is
are they trying to get across are you know they are in oftentimes children are the most mature people

(01:28:07):
maybe up until that point you know yeah I see what you mean and where you're going yeah in terms of
the you're right the adults are all not paying attention to the kids because the tubers you
are doing their to wrap up and then Gavin's to obsessed with with making this the you know the best
part ever because the important people are going to be there he's trying to impress you know he's

(01:28:30):
trying to press the kids in terms of his intelligent house and you know that's the that's the the
funny parts when he's saying it's intelligent house and then Jess says is it more intelligent than a
squid that's what you want from yeah film like this that's what you want you know another little funny
part is when Gavin's on the phone 999 and he's saying I need police and ambulance and possibly the

(01:28:55):
Coast Guard no I don't need a fire engine and Mickey sits well he was on fire like that's I did laugh
at that that's you know that's what you want little puppy one liners kids seem to keep things
things like that not pouring petrol and setting fire to their grandfather so yeah it's just it's
it's all just a bit it's all just a little bit all just sort of misses the mark too often I think

(01:29:20):
it's not one that you would go back to and I don't even know if it's one that you know it's worth
catching if you get the chance to see it but I wouldn't necessarily seek it out I just kind of
misses it's just sort of misses the mark apparently the film is a reworking of a burt landcaster
and the called the Culkin film called Rocket Gibraltar where Billy Conley is the his sorry

(01:29:44):
Bert Landcaster is the Billy Conley character and yeah I call it Culkins one of these
obnoxiously named grandchildren so it's a bit of a rief who sits fire to sit who yeah but
but what it says is as Levi's health Bert Landcaster plays Levi Levi Rockwell as his health begins to fail
he voices a sentimental request that he'd be given a vague and fume well after his death with his

(01:30:07):
adult children consumed by their own personal worries his seven grand children honor Levi's last wish
so yeah pretty similar as a picture of the the call they called him given Bert Landcaster a big
cuddle on the front of the poster for the movie um I think yeah like that was just to sell the film
I don't think I don't think he much for part in it um if you ever had to have a notebook of lies

(01:30:33):
to keep track of everything no have you try unlike some people we know I tried to be generally quite
honest and my dealings so don't get caught out I think I think the the one time that I was a bit
this honest and I was immediately captured was the night that we were out and I got a taxi back

(01:30:55):
to the flat I shared with her mutual friend while you guys opted to walk back via the bakery
and when we came back she had left and and I claimed to have had a sexy time with her before she left
which obviously wasn't true and I was immediately I was immediately I was all I had with
I was a cup of coffee before she left and I was immediately rumbleed because I don't even move then

(01:31:20):
maybe this that day so there was still like a load of stuff on my bed
and so yeah I could have learned my lesson there um I don't fit especially to your friends
no yeah as um as Billy Connelly very famously said in the elephant's grave yard if you tell lies

(01:31:41):
you always expect to get captured exactly yeah and I was so very valuable lesson there from
Billy not telling lies and don't set fire to your elderly relatives and send them out to
exactly so shall we put what we did in our holiday through our swallowy awards yes I think we

(01:32:02):
shall let's do that's another thing the title of the film what we did in our holiday like the kids
gonna go back to school and tell everyone I mean they've seen it on the news anyway but they're
gonna go back to school and tell them oh what did you do in your holiday oh well we set fire to
grab well there was a moment when they were talking about writing about what they did in their half
term as well as in their day one of the kids said that a good only class will still have something

(01:32:23):
better because she always does so yeah admittedly oh do you write to me yeah um okay so never about
okay right so our first award is usually the Bobby the Barman award for the best bar but there is no
bar uh unfortunately unless you count Margaret walking rounds with a couple of nice bottles of
whisking a few glasses so move swiftly on to our patrons same of the culture swallowy award

(01:32:48):
James Coswell award that is for being an everything Scottish and a couple of likely choices here yeah I
I kind of tied it because one only has really a couple of lines was one has a bit of a bigger part
but I mean ultimately it's Ron Donah here but Jake Darcy a big shout out to him as well um I mean

(01:33:09):
between the two of them obviously but yeah I think I had it down as a tie yeah probably Ron Donah
he just because he's a slightly bigger role yeah yeah for sure and that's the second movie in a role
that he's played a policeman um that we review yes I did make that connection yes for the culture
swallowy um is that is worth given Silimri a special mention she does put a she yeah she does put a shift

(01:33:33):
in and quite a lot of Scottish productions but yeah certainly does difficult to pick between Darcy and
Donah here I think that's a fair choice because Donah here does yeah spend this is a bigger part and
next award then the Jake McQuillan your teaser award I mean it has to be Kenneth wiping out Jess
whimpling football after being called a spaz by his dad yeah I can't believe that they had because

(01:33:56):
that's not being acceptable for quite a long time calling somebody a spaz eating no even in the
in betweeners they don't call anybody a spaz you know no um so that in the in betweeners was on by
this in fact yeah they in between a meant me to finish that actually by this point the series yeah
yeah I think so just the movie sticking yeah would have been yeah it's not an acceptable term and

(01:34:18):
I was really surprised that at that yeah that that being used not acceptable at all no um yeah I
had that but I also gave a special mention to Margaret Bunsen the toy that rolled off the show
attendance head yeah there's something there's something funny about something hitting somebody in a
headache not something that's painful but something just kind of bounce off somebody say there's a

(01:34:40):
moment when somebody bounces the football off the back of David tenets head yeah just just funny
isn't it you know I don't know don't ask me why it's just funny so the next award I struggled with a
bit but it's the Francis Beggby language award for gratuitous language I couldn't really think
of any particularly bad language in it did you get any pick it up but it's not really the only one

(01:35:05):
really is um doling played by an X cross B she does call Gordy a miserable bastard yeah and that's
pretty much it and that leads to don't swear for the grandkids and then that is a funny part when
Mickey does say mum and dad swayed all the time you know and lists the solicitor tell your
f'ing see you must have listed her that's funny yeah again that's what we want from the kids yeah

(01:35:31):
yeah that's sort of awkward humor I'm there for that
you know I'm just saying go easy on the swearing mum and dad swayed all the time well maybe

(01:35:54):
so mum used a seawood and the other ones okay man so that's your proxy f'ing see word of solicitor
you f'ing be word uh the next award would usually be the u-migregate award for gratuitous nudity
but the one takes a close off in this one um so that takes us quickly on to our next award the

(01:36:17):
archetypal Scottish moment award I went with getting your kill on for a big function because it's
not a wedding or anything it's just a big birthday party but Gavin still gets his kill on so I was
going to have kids set in fire to our body just for a laugh but um I went with the sort of rampant

(01:36:37):
suspicion of the Londoners because that comes up a few times oh yeah the kids are weird because they're
from what the because they're from London you know that sort of Scottish suspicion of England um but
yeah that's very true yeah yeah forgot about that part but yeah you're right and then our last one is
the uh Sean Connery award for who won the film for you I feel like I know who it's going to be

(01:37:01):
I think will be aligned I think yeah who did you give it to I went with Connerley really just because
he's sort it's kind of the you know I think his scenes are probably the the best scenes in the film
especially the the scenes would between him and the he almost seems more at ease with the
kids than he does acting with the adults and that's possibly by design because obviously they

(01:37:22):
bit of a really good actor and it's played a lot of really good parts opposite adults but um you
know it was I thought it was particularly good with the kids in this you know I think he's things I
say that that this the the scene between him and Morty when he tells her about his that he's
basically his time is limited now then he's not told anyone else you know they that's could be that

(01:37:45):
I see that that would be quite easy to fumble I think especially when you're when it's sad a mature
actor acting opposite a young actor but I think they're both really good you know um so for that I had to
get mean obviously my first my first impulse was to give it to Rosamond because she's so lovely
but it wouldn't be a I wouldn't be given her she wouldn't want the award for that I thought

(01:38:09):
myself she's gonna want the award for her craft and her skill and I think Connerley has the edge
so that's by a win that way but you yeah I went with Connerley is when definitely it's kind of yeah he
steals the scenes he's in and delivers a well-rounded performance yeah for me it has to be
Connerley I think the the other actors they aren't in it as much as tenant is yeah not really a

(01:38:35):
film stealing performance from you so yeah he's good I know you bit tenant he's just because that I mean
this yeah you kind of feel that you've seen tenant do that kind of role before you know it kind of feels
yes I mean I'm not really sure if I have but there's just something a bit familiar about how he is in
the film you know it feels like it's yeah there's a big part of David tenant and that performance you know

(01:38:57):
yes I would say that's true yeah yeah I would agree with that so yeah no Connerley from me oh well
so that was what we did on our holiday um safe to say that it was decent but yeah it was fun
but it's unlike Claire I'll be watching it again yeah maybe don't watch it with your children this no
especially if you're maybe if you're not if you're not me keeping too well you know

(01:39:18):
and why don't you write into the culture swell if tell us what you did on your holiday um anyway
obviously what we did on our holiday was my choice which means that the big arrow spins back to
your good self what am I watching over the next couple of weeks for the next episode

(01:39:39):
my old Greg we'd love a good little anthology series don't we and it's been a it's been a while
since we did a play for today it has been a lot so I had a little scourancy we just got
to play for today's for one YouTube so that we could easily access and watch so um I picked one
that I really liked the sound of and I really liked the the premise of as well so we're going back

(01:40:00):
to 1982 on the next episode of the swallow Greg to do a play for today Malcolm goes through life
hating the modality of his existence as a factory worker and an unloved husband but when students
take up summer jobs at the factory it re-awakens both his passion for politics and his romantic urges
starring Derek Anders, Mary Ricans, Elaine Collins, Jake Darcy, Jonathan Watson and Tony Roper

(01:40:28):
we will be watching a play for today available on YouTube and it is called The silly season
well I've never seen it I watched it last week just to check if it was any good for the poll okay
yeah that's it's good I'd like I look forward to discussing it with you it's a yeah it's good
it's a it's got a very very good cast and yeah I think I'll be some good conversation that will

(01:40:49):
come from it so yeah the silly season available on YouTube who is only an hour and 40 minutes long
so it's fine awesome so there you go all right thank you very much for listening everyone hope you
enjoyed the show please get in touch and say hello you can email us cultureswaly@gmail.com as
Greg said tell us what you did in your holidays and we'll read out the best ones and send you a culture

(01:41:10):
swally badge um you can follow us on insta@cultureswaly.com and we have a wonderful website as well
don't be Greg. You can find us at cultureswaly.com with links to other episodes and some news and blog posts
about uh Scottish film and television fantastic right well it's getting late for you Greg it's

(01:41:31):
a Monday evening as we're recording this you up to anything exciting no I just then finished
urban wellches new book men and love just last week well towards the end of the week when I was
on my work travels and it features his probably his most iconic characters the train spot in gang
of Renton sick boy beg bay and spud and it sort of picks up and just just just after the events of

(01:41:58):
train spotting and covers maybe about 18 months the two years in the lives of the characters so I
kind of had to I've kind of had to start reading porno again um because I'm just I'm a bit compulsive
in those characters that are in men and love who aren't in porno but they are alluded to and because
there's that connection I don't know I can I can I need to read it again to see if because porno was

(01:42:23):
written in like what 2000 or 2001 so 25 years ago nearly I want to see if it how it's so stupid but
I'll see how it sort of links together um so I haven't read porno for a few years um so I'm I'm
going to read that um tonight I'm going to continue reading that for the book sleep and then uh
I'm very cute so I made a resolution to try and read more books that I've not read before this

(01:42:46):
year so I've got a habit of rereading old books that I've read before so I just reread all the age read
moe books for example which I've read what's the times before yeah I need to get into uh I started
men in love last night I read the first 25 pages so I need to I think I'll probably play on with

(01:43:06):
it with that tonight yeah yeah it's good and try and read a bit more enjoyed it some trademark
well sheen moments in it and I think the last I think you know there's some moments in the last maybe
100 pages that I think you'll you the special people really enjoy so just like you're
oh excellent just a sort of humour that uh appeals to you fantastic oh well I better get cracking

(01:43:28):
then all right wonderful right well thank you very much Greg until next time yep until next time
so this came out of uh us digits button that's why they're so bad tempered could you get an usch
rig and push it up back up it's bottom no I don't think so because you'd have to hold the ostrich
still and nobody's gonna volunteer for that I reckon you can get it halfway up the crack

(01:43:53):
oh like if you cross it halfway you think you could push it back up yeah well the next time one
of them is going to lay I'll get in touch with you one little push like like a volleyball
[music]

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Episode 133 - What We Did on Our Holiday (2014)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 133 - What We Did on Our Holiday (2014)