February 22, 2024 • 38 mins
Emily and Jesse Cole are the owners of the Savannah Bananas, known as the Greatest Show in Sports. It was after Emily and Jesse got married that they started talking about how to get involved in foster care and adoption. In 2020, the Cole’s decided to become a licensed foster family, an action that would truly change their life.
Join Emily and host Michael Messer on this episode that totally shines a light on the need in every community around children that need family. Emily talks about the importance of using their platform to spread awareness and provide tools for others to get involved.
Emily says "Our organization is committed to helping the whole foster care community. Advocating for everyone involved, Bananas Foster celebrates those already making a difference while inviting others to get involved so we can all help make this world a better place."
Learn more about the voices in this episode:
Meet Emily Cole, and the family
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
What does growth look like in your business in your life?
As a business owner,
executive or individual,
you can live and lead with intention to create the change you want to see in your community and the world.
Welcome to the Discerning Strategies Podcast,
a place where we can see clearly and act wisely.
(00:31):
Hi,
everyone and welcome to the Discerning Strategies podcast.
I am your host,
Michael Messer and today we're joined by Emily Cole.
Emily is the owner of the Savannah Bananas and fans first entertainment along with her husband Jesse,
who you might know as the man in the yellow tux.
She has upended the sports world with their fans first philosophy,
(00:53):
which is all about ignoring what everyone else is doing and taking a different road that builds a fanatical fan base around what you're doing.
And I can say from my own experience,
the Savannah Bananas is like no other think of it as a cross for those of you that don't know it of a minor league baseball team in a circus with PT Barnum standing in the middle.
(01:14):
It really is something special and unique.
You can currently see Emily and Jesse on the ESPN original documentary,
Banana Land.
And in addition,
Emily is the author of Go Bananas,
a children's book about the power of being different.
And as fascinating as the success of the Bananas is today,
we're actually gonna look at something um that's not as well known about the Banana,
(01:39):
one of Emily's other passion projects,
which is Bananas Foster,
the nonprofit she founded,
which celebrates educates and inspires the foster care community.
So I'd like to welcome Emily Cole Emily.
Thanks for joining us.
Thank you so much.
So excited to talk about this topic with you.
Yeah.
So let's start there.
What,
what is,
(01:59):
first of all,
what is Bananas Foster all about?
Yeah.
So we have obviously been so fortunate with the growth of the bananas as you alluded to earlier.
And I,
I think you get to a point where you say,
ok,
we have this platform now,
you know,
it can't be ignored.
It's a,
a real big thing bigger than we ever imagined.
(02:19):
And with that comes responsibility and obviously that's a wonderful thing to have.
But for us,
we have become role models in the sports world just in the business community.
And so while we create joy every day at our ballparks and while we are,
you know,
continuously trying to be one of the most positive brands out there,
(02:40):
we knew that we could do more good with the size of this platform.
And so our wheels are turning and uh Jesse,
my husband and I are passionate about the foster care world.
We ourselves are our foster parents and we look around at our games and it's a ton of families and a lot of little kids.
And so this idea just starts brewing of,
(03:01):
hey,
we have a platform,
we need to use our voice to do good in the world.
Hey,
we're really passionate about this thing that we don't think So.
Society talks about that much and you know,
hey,
our demographics at our game actually fit into this with the families and the Children being some of our,
our biggest attendees.
And so all of that comes together and we say we can do something in this space.
(03:24):
And so of course,
with all those things going through our head and then when Jesse wakes up in the middle of the night,
one night with the perfect name for it.
Bananas Foster,
um it just all it all,
it all came together.
And so we launched officially in 2023.
And our goal is to use our platform to um really,
(03:46):
we want to celebrate a lot of the people who are already doing wonderful things in the foster care world because those people are out there.
It just is sort of a taboo topic in society.
It's not talked about a lot.
And so sometimes those,
those people are unset heroes,
you know,
and we don't know what our neighbors are really doing in the foster care world.
And so staying in line with the bananas being a positive brand,
(04:07):
we want to be a positive nonprofit.
And so we are really focusing on celebrating the people who are already doing amazing things.
But then we also of course,
want to educate and inspire more people by using our platform,
you know,
to get involved in the foster care world.
That's amazing.
I mean,
you said it a couple times now,
you said that,
you know,
they're unsung carriers and,
and it's almost a bit of a taboo.
(04:29):
Like what's,
what's that about?
What,
what is preventing foster parenting being a more visible issue out in our communities because it affects a lot of people.
Honestly,
it does,
you know,
to be honest,
I don't know what it is.
I don't know why I didn't know about it growing up.
I don't know why it wasn't something that was talked about.
(04:51):
Um I,
I think a lot of people are kind of protected from some of the,
the less lovely things in our world.
And if you're not walking those paths,
you might not be exposed to it.
And that could be for a number of different things in the country,
right?
But this is something that I just felt as I got older and learned more about it.
(05:12):
I should have known more about,
you know,
our family had a lot of love to give and not a lot of resources but there's a,
there's a way to support people in the foster care world in a number of different ways.
It doesn't have to be monetarily.
And so I wish I had known more about it.
And as I got older it was just something that I couldn't look away from,
I didn't want to look away from.
(05:32):
And so regardless of why it wasn't talked about a lot,
we're just trying to change that and,
and,
you know,
make it a narrative in today's society and say it is something that we can talk about just like any illness or,
or anything else that's out there that scientists are working on.
Um you know,
let's work on this and let's talk about it while we're working on it.
(05:52):
Yeah.
You know,
any time that you're trying to create social change awareness is step one,
right?
People need to understand that there's a need and,
and maybe identify themselves with that need.
Um How did you,
how did you personally come to identify yourself with foster parenting?
Because you said it kind of was a process where one day you,
you sort of realize this was out there and then you couldn't look away what would,
(06:16):
what happened there.
Yeah.
So both Jessie and I are,
are lifelong learners,
as we say,
we are constantly just devouring books and podcasts and trying to learn about whatever topic we're interested in at the time.
And so in my early twenties and you know,
I was starting to get to that point where I was thinking about having a family and thinking about having kids.
(06:36):
And I think the idea of adoption had always been on my heart in some way.
I was intrigued by it and I,
I loved welcoming people into my home.
I love hosting gatherings and taking care of people.
And so that idea,
hey,
building my family does not necessarily have to look like the old biological way.
You know,
(06:56):
I just want to invite people into my home,
bring them into my family in some capacity.
So it really,
I got there,
I think through the idea of adoption,
I started researching adoption.
And then once I went down that path,
it branched off a little bit more into the different ways to adopt,
which of course,
then exposes you to foster care.
And that is never the goal with foster care adoption.
(07:18):
Um But I think once I learned about that,
I love that even more.
It was,
hey,
I can walk alongside of these people and help them to be able to stay with their family.
If I can just give them the tools or the resources to stay together,
maybe they'll join my family for a short time,
maybe we'll end up being,
you know,
distant cousins in a sense for the rest of our lives.
But this foster care thing,
(07:39):
um it doesn't have to be permanent,
you know,
it does not have to end in adoption.
But the idea of just walking alongside,
people welcoming them into my family became more and more,
I guess,
intriguing to me and I felt a pull on my heart to,
to kind of continue down that path.
I love that.
I,
I just wonder though,
on some level because I think people do have this thought about what,
(08:02):
what foster care can be and,
and the backgrounds the Children may be coming from.
Was there a little bit of fear there too?
I mean,
can like,
because you're walking alongside but like,
yeah,
I,
I think I would be terrified.
That's just me.
I'm curious,
how did you feel about that?
I think again,
like anything fear comes from the unknown.
(08:25):
And so once I felt educated on it and once I was meeting some of these people and actually walking alongside of them,
it wasn't as scary as it might have been before I was educated on it.
And I think again,
as a society that's where we are with this topic.
We are so uneducated on it that it seems terrifying.
(08:47):
But that's like anything in life you move to a new city or you start a new job,
it's always gonna be scary.
You just don't know those things.
Once you're in the situation and you feel more comfortable,
then you become more confident.
And so while I might have been apprehensive about it,
it was probably before I actually knew the details and the ins and the outs of foster care once I became more educated on it,
(09:08):
it,
it's not a scary subject to me anymore.
Yeah.
You know,
one of the,
one of the things that I understand bananas Foster is really trying to do is exactly that educate.
What,
what do people need to know about foster care right now?
Like,
what do you want?
What's the message that you wanna deliver?
Yeah.
One of the craziest things that people don't realize is that is that it's happening right down the street from them.
(09:31):
It's in every neighborhood,
it is in every community.
And I think that part is what's shocking to people.
So we'll,
we'll get to this probably later on in the podcast.
One of the things that we do is is we celebrate families at each of our bananas games.
But what I want to point out here is that after we do that celebration,
um These people have just,
(09:51):
just been down on the field.
So the whole stadium has seen them as we're walking up the steps and we're leaving the field,
other fans are standing up and they're shaking the hands of the foster family or whomever we have highlighted that day.
And they're thanking them and they're saying,
oh my gosh,
I had no idea this was going on in our community.
Thank you so much for,
for stepping up and doing this and I want to learn more and So I think people are just truly unaware that it is happening literally right there in their community.
(10:20):
And so that's one of the things that we want to do is just shout it from the rooftops.
And that's why we want to use our platform to talk about.
It is so that people are just aware because there's a lot of great people out there who I'm sure would step up and help.
Uh They might just not have the tools or the education yet.
Yeah.
So tell us about your,
your first experience with fostering.
(10:42):
Um you know,
what was it like to,
to go through this process to actually become a foster parent and then to get that call and be like,
hey,
there's a child that needs you right now.
Yeah.
So our,
our um journey on this was interesting.
My husband and I had a biological son in 2018 and he becomes a year old and,
(11:08):
you know,
you get to that point of,
are we gonna grow our family?
What's that gonna look like?
I already said,
you know,
adoption had already been on my heart,
something that we had talked about.
And so we were really having this discussion as the pandemic starts.
And during that time,
I was able to read a little bit more than normal.
And so I picked up a book by Marie Foro called Everything Is Figure Out.
(11:32):
And this book truly is what launched us into fostering because we're at a time where we have no idea what's going on in the world.
We don't know what we're supposed to be doing with our family.
Our entertainment business is very much struggling.
Um,
and so we had all of the reasons to say no,
let's not do this,
you know,
that they weren't even doing in person classes.
(11:53):
They were,
they were having you trained to become a foster parent through the computer.
All of these reasons to say no,
but I read this book and I was like,
man,
something is just pulling me towards this.
And so after lots of discussions and lots of walks with,
you know,
nobody within 5 ft of us,
uh Jesse and I decided that this is a path we were going to pursue.
And so we started doing these online foster care classes and going through that really changed our perspective and made us realize that this is where we were supposed to be.
(12:23):
Once again,
once you learn,
it's something you can't look away from.
We were just so invested in this thought now.
And so we got our license and we uh we waited and we didn't receive a call right away,
which was mind blowing to us because we were like this need is out there.
Why are we not getting the call?
But it goes to show um a number of different things in,
(12:43):
in the system.
And one of that is that it's really hard to keep everything organized and there are not enough people doing this work.
And um it's a,
it's a really difficult process to match for lack of better term kids who come in with families who,
who are able to take them.
And so we received uh a call for a child.
(13:04):
And this is another thing that a lot of people don't talk about is the ability to say no to a call when it comes in.
You know,
you're,
you're all excited that you're gonna help you receive a phone call.
This is my opportunity to step up.
Um But there are some situations that you should say no to and whether it's for your own biological family's needs or for the child,
(13:27):
the child's need,
who's coming into care,
you know,
right off the bat,
I'm not gonna be able to support this child in the way that they need regardless.
Um There are reasons that you should say no.
And so we,
we did,
we said no to that first call and it was really hard and it still kind of haunts me,
but of course,
every no leads to a yes.
And so shortly after we received a call for a two year old little girl,
(13:51):
our biological son is two at this point turns out they're three months apart.
And so she came to live with us and it was uh an eye opening experience for us,
you know,
here we have this healthy little boy who has had everything handed to him his whole life.
And you get somebody who's the same age who has had the exact opposite situation and uh what a beautiful time for the two of them to come together.
(14:18):
And when people say that they're worried about bringing foster Children in because of their biological Children,
I can assure you,
I have seen it and it is the most beautiful thing.
Having other Children in the home makes it more normal for the child coming in and helps them adjust.
I mean,
they were on the floor playing together within minutes and I don't know if I would have been able to have that connection with her,
(14:40):
but we had a two year old who wanted to do the same things with her.
And so anyways,
uh long story short,
she was supposed to be with us for just a short amount of time.
Reunification was not able to happen with any of her biological family and she was with us for just over three years when we officially adopted her and she became part of our family.
So every foster care story is different.
(15:01):
You never know what's gonna happen when the child comes into your home.
Um You know,
your job is to keep them safe and to educate them and to walk alongside them and support them for whatever their needs are.
Sometimes it turns out to be a short time.
And sometimes it's forever,
but that was our first case.
Wow.
I mean,
first of all,
congratulations on,
on getting to a point with this person that they're part of your family.
(15:25):
Now,
that's,
that really speaks to how meaningful and deep the connection you can create with people as part of this process.
I have to be honest with you.
I'm,
I'm sitting here thinking as you,
as you tell the story.
First of all.
Wow.
Second of all,
oh my God.
So you've got a two year old.
That is your first child.
(15:45):
So you're like trying to learn the ropes of parenting as you go.
You're adding this other little human that is just from a totally different context and background.
Oh And by the way,
your business is kind of going viral at the same time.
How like,
how did you manage that?
That seems like a lot.
Yeah,
the last five years have just been a blur for us anyways.
(16:08):
But I mean,
really,
we,
you know,
we're just coming out of the pandemic at this point too.
So,
yes,
in the years since we've been very fortunate and the company has done well,
but you gotta remember back then.
It was,
it was Struggle Bus for us.
You know,
we,
we didn't know if we were gonna have a business.
Um But you can't put those things on hold and when we know that there's a need and we know we're getting licensed for regardless of what we end up doing professionally.
(16:32):
This is what we wanted to do personally for our family.
And so that was really our only focus was bringing her in and,
and helping support her.
And then of course,
uh about nine months after she came with us,
we got another call and we were not planning on,
on taking another placement at the time.
But,
you know,
we were assured this is just gonna be uh for the weekend or until another family member step forward for her.
(16:56):
And so about nine months after Kenna came to us,
uh Addison joined our family for the weekend,
um which turned into 2.5 years,
which we have also adopted her.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah,
there's always gonna be twists and turns.
Um but,
you know,
really with foster care,
you,
you don't know what to expect and that's ok.
(17:17):
And again,
we were just there to support her.
She,
she had a really rough start to life.
And so we actually got her um straight from the NICU.
And so there were a lot of,
there was a lot of learning for us in the beginning,
you know,
we were not privy to what newborns were going through when they were detoxing and we learned a lot as a couple and as a family.
(17:40):
And now looking back,
of course,
we would have it no other way.
We were,
we were there from the beginning and kind of nursed her back to health and she's grown up with these two older siblings who've just always been there for her.
And so of course that's now how our family looks and like anything you look back in life and it all works out how it's supposed to.
Um,
but in the moment,
yeah,
it can be scary and you say yes to things that you don't know how they're gonna turn out all while your business is,
(18:05):
you know,
going up and down and you have no idea what's happening over there either.
But that's our,
our beautiful weird crazy story.
Yeah,
that,
that is amazing.
So,
one of the things I always where I talk about is like when you're trying to create impact how important commitment is and like what I'm hearing you talk about is you're talking about like really finding a place and doing something that was so meaningful to you personally that the commitment question just was like off the table,
(18:34):
of course you were gonna be there and do it.
Yeah.
How,
how do you or maybe let me put it this way.
What would you say to people thinking about starting this journey in terms of the mindset they need to have when they're considering foster care for us.
(18:54):
It was very easy to talk about even launching a nonprofit after we had done it if we had not walked the walk yet.
Um I would feel,
you know,
I don't want to say a fraud because of course,
you can be passionate about something,
but I wouldn't have felt as equipped to lead an organization.
(19:15):
Now if I had not been there myself in the trenches with families showing up at court hearings,
having my heart broken.
Um you know,
actually having gone through those things,
I think better equips me as a leader and as an advocate to stand up for those things.
And so regardless of the cause or the situation,
(19:36):
I think it is just a lot more believable and you have a lot more credibility.
If you have been in those situations and you can share your own personal story,
anybody can get up and you know,
preach about whatever they want to.
But if you bring personal stories into it,
the,
the connection they with the audience or,
you know,
(19:56):
with your employees,
it's just so much more powerful.
And so we've always been passionate about this topic,
but we've only been fostering for four years.
So if we had launched this nonprofit prior to that,
I think it would be in a much different space than it is now.
Yeah,
you're talking about authenticity,
right?
But what's also interesting is I think so,
(20:17):
so many times people that want to do good,
particularly if they are running a business that they're trying to grow and they're trying to be successful and they're like,
well,
maybe I want to do a,
a nonprofit or do some philanthropic work or foundational,
but it's not directly related to what I'm doing in my business doesn't seem to matter.
Like foster,
foster care.
(20:37):
It has really nothing to do with,
with entertainment or baseball.
Right.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And,
and we say that all the time,
you know,
oh,
we could have started a nonprofit that saved puppies at great cause,
you know,
but personally we travel every day of the year so we don't have a dog.
So it's just not as easy of a connection and it's not as believable,
(20:59):
it's not as authentic.
And so there are so many great causes out there.
But if you are a leader that wants to do something as long as you are invested in that,
there's your connection between the for profit business and,
and the nonprofit,
you know,
it doesn't have to be perfectly aligned.
But if you as the leader are the connector,
then I think it makes perfect sense.
(21:21):
No,
I,
I love that.
And um but if you can make it connected,
that's like where the gold is.
Like,
so when you said,
oh,
you know,
Jesse woke up in the middle of the night with the Banana Foster's name.
When I found out about your organization,
I literally stopped and was like,
that is so brilliant,
so brilliant.
Like,
you know,
when,
(21:42):
when I think about things that make sense for businesses,
you know,
there's four things when people come to me,
you know,
as a,
as an impact coach like,
hey,
what do I need to think about which is reflect the values and the purpose of your business,
create an authentic connection,
which is what you just said,
be on brand and generate real impact.
(22:03):
And boy,
did you hammer the brand?
Did you just like high five at like 3 a.m. when you woke up with this name?
Yeah,
that's where a lot of his great ideas come from.
So that's,
that's I'm no stranger to that.
Um Yeah,
it was brilliant right away.
I knew,
I knew that was it,
you know,
so it was perfect.
So where do you want to take this?
Like you just,
you,
you're just getting going with this if you project yourself 10 years into the future,
(22:28):
what impact do you want to see?
Bananas foster having?
I am so excited about this question because what I'm about to say as what our goals are.
It's a scary thing and it's,
you know,
people might roll their eyes and say that's una unachievable.
We have been very fortunate with the bananas to grow the interest in our waiting list.
(22:49):
We have over 2 million people on a waiting list to try to get tickets to one of our live shows.
It's crazy.
I I can't even understand,
you know,
how we have gotten there and we're so grateful for it.
We have created a waitlist for people trying to get tickets to our games.
What if we created a waitlist for people in this country,
(23:11):
in the foster care system?
What we're doing right now as a society,
as,
you know,
government groups who are taking care of these Children is kids are,
are being brought in to foster care and they're being pushed out as quickly as they can to any open bed that can be found.
Sometimes that's a very well matched foster home.
(23:33):
Most times it's a,
a not great matched foster home or it's a group home or it's a hotel room or it's a cot alone on the DS S floor.
Um,
but their goal is to find a bed for this child.
And right now,
we do not have enough foster families to take care of the foster youth that are,
(23:56):
that are in foster care.
So our thought is if we can create a waitlist for people who want to come to our games,
why can't we help advocate and build a foster care family wait list so that they're just sitting there waiting in the wings.
They're not,
you know,
driving down the door,
be beating down the door is trying to get a kid that's not what this is about,
(24:19):
but we are there waiting to support the right child.
So that when a call comes in,
we are equipped as a society to place the child with the right family.
We are putting kids in homes where they speak different languages from,
from the family doesn't make sense.
The kid has already gone through so much trauma.
(24:39):
There's gonna be more trauma coming out of that.
Right.
We're moving them into different counties.
So now they're not just away from their family,
but they're away from their school.
They're away from their friends,
the street,
the only street they've ever learned and known.
So if we can equip enough people to just be there ready,
then we can match the right child with the right family for that for that time in their life.
(25:01):
And I believe we will cut back on so much unnecessary trauma.
Uh So much unnecessary cost from a government side.
If you want to go down that path of moving these kids all over and trying to drive them back and forth for court dates and visits and things like that.
There's just so much good that could come from having enough people,
you know,
(25:21):
as a,
as a foster family,
you get continuous calls even though you're already taken care of probably biological Children and current place,
which there,
there's a lot of work,
there's doctor's appointments,
there's therapy,
there's visits,
there's court hearings.
Um And then when you bring on multiple cases,
you have to do all that for each child.
What if we had a family who could concentrate on one case at a time?
(25:42):
One child at a time,
poured all of our heart and,
and time and energy into that child and that biological family and helping them reunify.
I just think that there would be a much bigger success rate.
And so where we need to go is to get first the surplus of families so that we can match correctly.
And I think it all starts there.
So that's our,
(26:03):
our big goal is to get more people interested and at least going through the training and signed up so that when those calls come in,
we can connect people properly.
So like how do you like?
What's the right now like right now there's over 400,000 Children in the foster care system in the country that have not been matched up with,
(26:27):
you know,
pre AOP home and things like that.
So let's start there,
you know,
let's let's get to that number and that's huge impact,
that is huge impact.
So awareness getting people interested,
like,
what should you talked about training?
I think that's a really comforting idea that you're not just walking in and somebody is like driving by and say,
(26:51):
here's a kid.
There you go like that.
Yeah.
So every county,
every community um has different training.
Sometimes it goes through your local government,
through the city,
sometimes it goes through private agencies.
Um There's a lot of different ways you can become licensed.
But yeah,
they equip you with most of the information that you would need.
(27:13):
Ours took about nine months of classes.
But again,
it was online,
you can go to in person ones now and get,
get um licensed a lot quicker,
but they equip you with the information and the tools that,
that you're gonna need.
If you've never been through certain traumatic experiences,
you know,
they're gonna educate you and what that means.
If you've never taken care of a detoxing baby,
(27:33):
they're gonna tell you what that looks like.
And again,
it's not as scary once you've been through that and you feel educated,
you feel like you have other people alongside you.
You know,
I have,
of course,
now this this neighborhood of foster families who have been through things.
So if I haven't,
they have um you know,
you just,
you get this extension of your family and for people who are going to support you.
(27:55):
And so once that all happens,
it's a lot easier to accept that call and say,
yep,
I feel confident and ready for this.
So,
you know,
we are doing that right in that there is a,
a procedure you have to go to before you are a licensed foster family,
you have to be approved by the state.
There's all sorts of background checks and fingerprinting and you know,
(28:15):
we make sure that it's good people doing it for the right reason.
So there,
there are those steps that we are going through uh you know,
as a society to take care of the licensing part.
Well,
yeah,
and I think,
you know,
it bears repeating that you have choice here too.
You are in a position to say,
hey,
if the detoxing NICU child is,
(28:38):
is not where you're going to show up best as foster parents,
you don't need to be in that place.
There are plenty of other people that you can say yes to and make a difference.
Right.
Absolutely.
And that's the goal.
If we have enough of us waiting in the wings,
we don't need to feel guilty about saying no to that first call because we know that there's someone better equipped to say yes and that the yes,
(28:59):
we're gonna say it is going to go for the right child.
So what,
it's been a short journey for bananas foster and,
and,
and you can answer this the way you want.
But what are you most proud of?
Like what I think the,
the most exciting thing for us is when we inspire a new person to get involved.
(29:22):
And so like I said,
at every game,
we take a current foster family from that community down on the field and we tell the,
the fans,
hey,
we just want to celebrate this family.
They've been licensed for 12 years.
They've welcomed 74 Children into their home in that time.
You know,
they've helped reunify all these kids with biological family members,
they've adopted to look at these superstars,
(29:44):
look at what they're doing right here in our community and then we walk off the field and people either go on our website or they come up to us in person or they go up to the foster family who we've celebrated.
And they're saying,
wow,
we have no idea.
You've inspired me.
I wanna do this.
I want to get involved.
And so on our website,
Bananas foster.org,
we have a lot of different ways that you can get involved.
(30:06):
It's not always becoming a foster family because I truly respect and understand that that does not fit into everybody's lifestyle.
But you can make a meal for somebody who is a foster family and help burden that first night with a new placement when they're,
they're upholding a crying child all night.
You know,
you can help pick up the other kids in the home so that you can have a one on,
(30:26):
one on one shopping date with your new placement.
Uh They can,
they can bring ice cream over to lift everybody's spirits.
You know,
there's,
there's other things that you can do.
We're always trying to help connect people with donation locations so that you can donate goods.
You know,
somebody might end up with a baby and maybe they haven't had a baby in their house in 10 years.
So they don't have a crib anymore.
There's so many ways to support foster families.
(30:47):
And so that's what we're most proud and most excited about is when we get these new connections,
these new relationships that happen at the ballparks or through our website of people saying,
ok,
I'm in,
I've heard you,
I want to do something.
How can I help?
And we just,
we connect them to the right organization,
the right person,
the right family so that they can at least be involved in a small way.
(31:09):
Well,
it's interesting,
you know,
one of the statistics that I,
I noted on,
on your website is that you make the point that 30 to 50% of fostered parents quit within the first year just because they feel like they're under resources,
under resourced and under supported.
Yes,
it's true.
(31:30):
And it's my number one piece of advice for somebody who I know is about to become a foster family before you do it.
Get your,
get your community,
get your group together and get that support system ready and tell them what you're going through.
Hey,
this is what I'm going through.
You probably haven't been exposed to it just like I wasn't exposed to it,
you know,
before I went through the training.
(31:51):
But this is what my family is about to walk into.
We're gonna get a call at midnight and the next day we're going to have a new member or members of our family and this is what I'm gonna need from you when that happens.
So many of us are too proud to ask for help.
This is one situation you need to ask for help and you need to do it before it happens.
You need to prime your group to be ready.
(32:11):
The only reason that Jessie and I have been able to be successful in this.
Um and I say successful in a way,
you know,
I don't think we're rock stars or,
or anything,
but we've been successful to the point of keeping our girls healthy and happy.
And that's because other people showed up for us.
We had meals for two months,
taken care of for us by our neighborhood.
Uh because we were taking care of a detoxing newborn,
(32:34):
we didn't know how to do that while also taking care of our other Children and our house and our business.
And you know,
there just wasn't time to make a healthy dinner,
but our,
our community showed up and did that.
And so that's my number one piece of advice for people is before you accept that first call,
you make sure that you have people,
you're about to call right after and say this is what's going on.
(32:55):
This is where I need you to show up.
So when you think about the partnerships and the the community and the and and kind of the it takes a village in a sense,
it's kind of what I'm hearing you say,
right?
Like how can small businesses or local businesses contribute to that vision through bananas foster?
Like what are the partnerships that are gonna be really meaningful to helping you advance your organization in,
(33:19):
in the communities?
You're serving.
Yeah,
we're most people in the nonprofit sector are,
are always looking for,
you know,
financial donations and that those are always great for us.
Truly,
we're just looking for more connectors.
So we go to ballparks across the country and we're not familiar with those locations.
And so what's really been helpful to us is when people go on our website and say,
(33:43):
hey,
I have somebody in Des Moines who,
you know,
runs this foster care closet.
I never thought I would have a need to connect them to somebody in Savannah,
Georgia.
But here,
here it is.
And so the more connections,
the more organizations,
the more families who we hear about,
we can put them in our database.
And so that,
and when we go to these cities and people say,
(34:05):
hey,
I,
I,
I'm hearing what you're saying.
I want to get involved.
Now we have an outlet of where to send them.
You know,
we started with just having people in,
in the Georgia region where we knew how to support people there.
But now we're,
we're getting lists from all over the country.
And so that's really what we're looking for is um organizations,
people,
ways to help in other communities.
(34:27):
And it,
it's all education for all of us.
So any of those types of relationships that we can make,
we,
we want to.
No,
that's,
that's awesome.
And it's a,
it's an easy way for people to start educating themselves and start exploring it without committing their lives to,
to this bigger,
you know,
uh goal that you've got of creating a waitlist.
(34:50):
I love that idea so much.
Um So I've been thinking about this question,
I asked everybody that comes on to my podcast this last question and I think it's gonna,
I'm so looking forward to your answer,
which is when you think about your journey here,
(35:10):
what rules did you have to break to create this beautiful impact that you're having in your business and in your life and with the nonprofit,
you know,
foster care in general and adoption and anything along those lines,
I think breaks the mold of what hundreds of years ago it looked like to create a family.
(35:36):
Um,
we've done this a little bit in our business.
We,
we say that we're a bananas family.
We tell each other,
I love you every day.
Uh,
there's a million business coaches and executives out there that would say that's the wrong thing to do.
You're,
you're not supposed to mix business and pleasure.
You're not supposed to be a family,
it's not what we believe.
And so we have kind of broken that mold of saying this is how we create our family,
(36:01):
this is who we're choosing to be in our family.
And so from a professional sense,
I think we've broken it in that sense where we have all become a family.
You know,
we've all moved to a new city and become brothers and sisters or,
um,
you know,
aunt uncle kind of figures to each other and mentors to each other.
(36:22):
And Jessie and I have,
have tried to do that in our personal life too.
We've kind of broken that mold of,
hey,
we're gonna settle down and we're gonna,
the old fashioned way,
have 2.2 Children and live in our one house with a white picket fence.
And,
um,
that's just not our life.
You know,
there are tons of different people who come and stay with us at a certain time if they need to.
(36:43):
And our home is just open to anybody.
We basically live on the road.
So we've broken that rule of,
hey,
we have to be settled down and have our,
our perfect cookie cutter house that,
you know,
America has,
has said this is the normal thing.
You know,
we don't,
we don't live that lifestyle either.
And we're just this kind of traveling group of people who are passionate about bringing positivity to other people,
(37:09):
whether that's our biological Children or others who have joined us along the way.
You know,
we're all one big family now and we,
we believe in that and we're gonna keep preaching that because I think everybody,
if we all lived like that,
there'd be a lot more love in the world.
And,
um,
so that's what,
that's what we're gonna focus on.
I love that and couldn't agree more you're talking to one executive coach that is 100% in your camp.
(37:34):
Live yourself,
do yourself in your business and see what comes of it.
Emily,
how can people get in touch with you to connect you to those resources?
Where can they reach out and,
and,
and find out more?
Yeah.
Bananas Foster.
It's an easy name to remember.
So,
Bananas foster.org is our website and then we're on all the social media platforms and we're constantly on there and connecting people.
(37:57):
So we'd love to hear your stories or people that you wanna,
you know,
nominate for us to recognize or just groups that you think we should connect with.
We are still in our infancy,
we're still growing,
but we have had tons and tons of people already.
We'd love to hear from your people.
You have millions of fans already and now they have another reason to cheer for Bananas.
(38:19):
So thank you so much for everything you're doing and thank you so much for your time today.
It really inspired me and I'm gonna have to go figure out who I can connect you with right now.
Awesome.
We love it.
Thank you for your time and for allowing us to share this message.
You can find Michael Messer at discerning strategies.com.
(38:42):
Set up a free 20 minute consultation,
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discerning strategies.com
What does growth look like in your business in your life?
As a business owner,
executive or individual,
you can live and lead with intention to create the change you want to see in your community and the world.
Welcome to the Discerning Strategies Podcast,
a place where we can see clearly and act wisely.
(00:31):
Hi,
everyone and welcome to the Discerning Strategies podcast.
I am your host,
Michael Messer and today we're joined by Emily Cole.
Emily is the owner of the Savannah Bananas and fans first entertainment along with her husband Jesse,
who you might know as the man in the yellow tux.
She has upended the sports world with their fans first philosophy,
(00:53):
which is all about ignoring what everyone else is doing and taking a different road that builds a fanatical fan base around what you're doing.
And I can say from my own experience,
the Savannah Bananas is like no other think of it as a cross for those of you that don't know it of a minor league baseball team in a circus with PT Barnum standing in the middle.
(01:14):
It really is something special and unique.
You can currently see Emily and Jesse on the ESPN original documentary,
Banana Land.
And in addition,
Emily is the author of Go Bananas,
a children's book about the power of being different.
And as fascinating as the success of the Bananas is today,
we're actually gonna look at something um that's not as well known about the Banana,
(01:39):
one of Emily's other passion projects,
which is Bananas Foster,
the nonprofit she founded,
which celebrates educates and inspires the foster care community.
So I'd like to welcome Emily Cole Emily.
Thanks for joining us.
Thank you so much.
So excited to talk about this topic with you.
Yeah.
So let's start there.
What,
what is,
(01:59):
first of all,
what is Bananas Foster all about?
Yeah.
So we have obviously been so fortunate with the growth of the bananas as you alluded to earlier.
And I,
I think you get to a point where you say,
ok,
we have this platform now,
you know,
it can't be ignored.
It's a,
a real big thing bigger than we ever imagined.
(02:19):
And with that comes responsibility and obviously that's a wonderful thing to have.
But for us,
we have become role models in the sports world just in the business community.
And so while we create joy every day at our ballparks and while we are,
you know,
continuously trying to be one of the most positive brands out there,
(02:40):
we knew that we could do more good with the size of this platform.
And so our wheels are turning and uh Jesse,
my husband and I are passionate about the foster care world.
We ourselves are our foster parents and we look around at our games and it's a ton of families and a lot of little kids.
And so this idea just starts brewing of,
(03:01):
hey,
we have a platform,
we need to use our voice to do good in the world.
Hey,
we're really passionate about this thing that we don't think So.
Society talks about that much and you know,
hey,
our demographics at our game actually fit into this with the families and the Children being some of our,
our biggest attendees.
And so all of that comes together and we say we can do something in this space.
(03:24):
And so of course,
with all those things going through our head and then when Jesse wakes up in the middle of the night,
one night with the perfect name for it.
Bananas Foster,
um it just all it all,
it all came together.
And so we launched officially in 2023.
And our goal is to use our platform to um really,
(03:46):
we want to celebrate a lot of the people who are already doing wonderful things in the foster care world because those people are out there.
It just is sort of a taboo topic in society.
It's not talked about a lot.
And so sometimes those,
those people are unset heroes,
you know,
and we don't know what our neighbors are really doing in the foster care world.
And so staying in line with the bananas being a positive brand,
(04:07):
we want to be a positive nonprofit.
And so we are really focusing on celebrating the people who are already doing amazing things.
But then we also of course,
want to educate and inspire more people by using our platform,
you know,
to get involved in the foster care world.
That's amazing.
I mean,
you said it a couple times now,
you said that,
you know,
they're unsung carriers and,
and it's almost a bit of a taboo.
(04:29):
Like what's,
what's that about?
What,
what is preventing foster parenting being a more visible issue out in our communities because it affects a lot of people.
Honestly,
it does,
you know,
to be honest,
I don't know what it is.
I don't know why I didn't know about it growing up.
I don't know why it wasn't something that was talked about.
(04:51):
Um I,
I think a lot of people are kind of protected from some of the,
the less lovely things in our world.
And if you're not walking those paths,
you might not be exposed to it.
And that could be for a number of different things in the country,
right?
But this is something that I just felt as I got older and learned more about it.
(05:12):
I should have known more about,
you know,
our family had a lot of love to give and not a lot of resources but there's a,
there's a way to support people in the foster care world in a number of different ways.
It doesn't have to be monetarily.
And so I wish I had known more about it.
And as I got older it was just something that I couldn't look away from,
I didn't want to look away from.
(05:32):
And so regardless of why it wasn't talked about a lot,
we're just trying to change that and,
and,
you know,
make it a narrative in today's society and say it is something that we can talk about just like any illness or,
or anything else that's out there that scientists are working on.
Um you know,
let's work on this and let's talk about it while we're working on it.
(05:52):
Yeah.
You know,
any time that you're trying to create social change awareness is step one,
right?
People need to understand that there's a need and,
and maybe identify themselves with that need.
Um How did you,
how did you personally come to identify yourself with foster parenting?
Because you said it kind of was a process where one day you,
you sort of realize this was out there and then you couldn't look away what would,
(06:16):
what happened there.
Yeah.
So both Jessie and I are,
are lifelong learners,
as we say,
we are constantly just devouring books and podcasts and trying to learn about whatever topic we're interested in at the time.
And so in my early twenties and you know,
I was starting to get to that point where I was thinking about having a family and thinking about having kids.
(06:36):
And I think the idea of adoption had always been on my heart in some way.
I was intrigued by it and I,
I loved welcoming people into my home.
I love hosting gatherings and taking care of people.
And so that idea,
hey,
building my family does not necessarily have to look like the old biological way.
You know,
(06:56):
I just want to invite people into my home,
bring them into my family in some capacity.
So it really,
I got there,
I think through the idea of adoption,
I started researching adoption.
And then once I went down that path,
it branched off a little bit more into the different ways to adopt,
which of course,
then exposes you to foster care.
And that is never the goal with foster care adoption.
(07:18):
Um But I think once I learned about that,
I love that even more.
It was,
hey,
I can walk alongside of these people and help them to be able to stay with their family.
If I can just give them the tools or the resources to stay together,
maybe they'll join my family for a short time,
maybe we'll end up being,
you know,
distant cousins in a sense for the rest of our lives.
But this foster care thing,
(07:39):
um it doesn't have to be permanent,
you know,
it does not have to end in adoption.
But the idea of just walking alongside,
people welcoming them into my family became more and more,
I guess,
intriguing to me and I felt a pull on my heart to,
to kind of continue down that path.
I love that.
I,
I just wonder though,
on some level because I think people do have this thought about what,
(08:02):
what foster care can be and,
and the backgrounds the Children may be coming from.
Was there a little bit of fear there too?
I mean,
can like,
because you're walking alongside but like,
yeah,
I,
I think I would be terrified.
That's just me.
I'm curious,
how did you feel about that?
I think again,
like anything fear comes from the unknown.
(08:25):
And so once I felt educated on it and once I was meeting some of these people and actually walking alongside of them,
it wasn't as scary as it might have been before I was educated on it.
And I think again,
as a society that's where we are with this topic.
We are so uneducated on it that it seems terrifying.
(08:47):
But that's like anything in life you move to a new city or you start a new job,
it's always gonna be scary.
You just don't know those things.
Once you're in the situation and you feel more comfortable,
then you become more confident.
And so while I might have been apprehensive about it,
it was probably before I actually knew the details and the ins and the outs of foster care once I became more educated on it,
(09:08):
it,
it's not a scary subject to me anymore.
Yeah.
You know,
one of the,
one of the things that I understand bananas Foster is really trying to do is exactly that educate.
What,
what do people need to know about foster care right now?
Like,
what do you want?
What's the message that you wanna deliver?
Yeah.
One of the craziest things that people don't realize is that is that it's happening right down the street from them.
(09:31):
It's in every neighborhood,
it is in every community.
And I think that part is what's shocking to people.
So we'll,
we'll get to this probably later on in the podcast.
One of the things that we do is is we celebrate families at each of our bananas games.
But what I want to point out here is that after we do that celebration,
um These people have just,
(09:51):
just been down on the field.
So the whole stadium has seen them as we're walking up the steps and we're leaving the field,
other fans are standing up and they're shaking the hands of the foster family or whomever we have highlighted that day.
And they're thanking them and they're saying,
oh my gosh,
I had no idea this was going on in our community.
Thank you so much for,
for stepping up and doing this and I want to learn more and So I think people are just truly unaware that it is happening literally right there in their community.
(10:20):
And so that's one of the things that we want to do is just shout it from the rooftops.
And that's why we want to use our platform to talk about.
It is so that people are just aware because there's a lot of great people out there who I'm sure would step up and help.
Uh They might just not have the tools or the education yet.
Yeah.
So tell us about your,
your first experience with fostering.
(10:42):
Um you know,
what was it like to,
to go through this process to actually become a foster parent and then to get that call and be like,
hey,
there's a child that needs you right now.
Yeah.
So our,
our um journey on this was interesting.
My husband and I had a biological son in 2018 and he becomes a year old and,
(11:08):
you know,
you get to that point of,
are we gonna grow our family?
What's that gonna look like?
I already said,
you know,
adoption had already been on my heart,
something that we had talked about.
And so we were really having this discussion as the pandemic starts.
And during that time,
I was able to read a little bit more than normal.
And so I picked up a book by Marie Foro called Everything Is Figure Out.
(11:32):
And this book truly is what launched us into fostering because we're at a time where we have no idea what's going on in the world.
We don't know what we're supposed to be doing with our family.
Our entertainment business is very much struggling.
Um,
and so we had all of the reasons to say no,
let's not do this,
you know,
that they weren't even doing in person classes.
(11:53):
They were,
they were having you trained to become a foster parent through the computer.
All of these reasons to say no,
but I read this book and I was like,
man,
something is just pulling me towards this.
And so after lots of discussions and lots of walks with,
you know,
nobody within 5 ft of us,
uh Jesse and I decided that this is a path we were going to pursue.
And so we started doing these online foster care classes and going through that really changed our perspective and made us realize that this is where we were supposed to be.
(12:23):
Once again,
once you learn,
it's something you can't look away from.
We were just so invested in this thought now.
And so we got our license and we uh we waited and we didn't receive a call right away,
which was mind blowing to us because we were like this need is out there.
Why are we not getting the call?
But it goes to show um a number of different things in,
(12:43):
in the system.
And one of that is that it's really hard to keep everything organized and there are not enough people doing this work.
And um it's a,
it's a really difficult process to match for lack of better term kids who come in with families who,
who are able to take them.
And so we received uh a call for a child.
(13:04):
And this is another thing that a lot of people don't talk about is the ability to say no to a call when it comes in.
You know,
you're,
you're all excited that you're gonna help you receive a phone call.
This is my opportunity to step up.
Um But there are some situations that you should say no to and whether it's for your own biological family's needs or for the child,
(13:27):
the child's need,
who's coming into care,
you know,
right off the bat,
I'm not gonna be able to support this child in the way that they need regardless.
Um There are reasons that you should say no.
And so we,
we did,
we said no to that first call and it was really hard and it still kind of haunts me,
but of course,
every no leads to a yes.
And so shortly after we received a call for a two year old little girl,
(13:51):
our biological son is two at this point turns out they're three months apart.
And so she came to live with us and it was uh an eye opening experience for us,
you know,
here we have this healthy little boy who has had everything handed to him his whole life.
And you get somebody who's the same age who has had the exact opposite situation and uh what a beautiful time for the two of them to come together.
(14:18):
And when people say that they're worried about bringing foster Children in because of their biological Children,
I can assure you,
I have seen it and it is the most beautiful thing.
Having other Children in the home makes it more normal for the child coming in and helps them adjust.
I mean,
they were on the floor playing together within minutes and I don't know if I would have been able to have that connection with her,
(14:40):
but we had a two year old who wanted to do the same things with her.
And so anyways,
uh long story short,
she was supposed to be with us for just a short amount of time.
Reunification was not able to happen with any of her biological family and she was with us for just over three years when we officially adopted her and she became part of our family.
So every foster care story is different.
(15:01):
You never know what's gonna happen when the child comes into your home.
Um You know,
your job is to keep them safe and to educate them and to walk alongside them and support them for whatever their needs are.
Sometimes it turns out to be a short time.
And sometimes it's forever,
but that was our first case.
Wow.
I mean,
first of all,
congratulations on,
on getting to a point with this person that they're part of your family.
(15:25):
Now,
that's,
that really speaks to how meaningful and deep the connection you can create with people as part of this process.
I have to be honest with you.
I'm,
I'm sitting here thinking as you,
as you tell the story.
First of all.
Wow.
Second of all,
oh my God.
So you've got a two year old.
That is your first child.
(15:45):
So you're like trying to learn the ropes of parenting as you go.
You're adding this other little human that is just from a totally different context and background.
Oh And by the way,
your business is kind of going viral at the same time.
How like,
how did you manage that?
That seems like a lot.
Yeah,
the last five years have just been a blur for us anyways.
(16:08):
But I mean,
really,
we,
you know,
we're just coming out of the pandemic at this point too.
So,
yes,
in the years since we've been very fortunate and the company has done well,
but you gotta remember back then.
It was,
it was Struggle Bus for us.
You know,
we,
we didn't know if we were gonna have a business.
Um But you can't put those things on hold and when we know that there's a need and we know we're getting licensed for regardless of what we end up doing professionally.
(16:32):
This is what we wanted to do personally for our family.
And so that was really our only focus was bringing her in and,
and helping support her.
And then of course,
uh about nine months after she came with us,
we got another call and we were not planning on,
on taking another placement at the time.
But,
you know,
we were assured this is just gonna be uh for the weekend or until another family member step forward for her.
(16:56):
And so about nine months after Kenna came to us,
uh Addison joined our family for the weekend,
um which turned into 2.5 years,
which we have also adopted her.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah,
there's always gonna be twists and turns.
Um but,
you know,
really with foster care,
you,
you don't know what to expect and that's ok.
(17:17):
And again,
we were just there to support her.
She,
she had a really rough start to life.
And so we actually got her um straight from the NICU.
And so there were a lot of,
there was a lot of learning for us in the beginning,
you know,
we were not privy to what newborns were going through when they were detoxing and we learned a lot as a couple and as a family.
(17:40):
And now looking back,
of course,
we would have it no other way.
We were,
we were there from the beginning and kind of nursed her back to health and she's grown up with these two older siblings who've just always been there for her.
And so of course that's now how our family looks and like anything you look back in life and it all works out how it's supposed to.
Um,
but in the moment,
yeah,
it can be scary and you say yes to things that you don't know how they're gonna turn out all while your business is,
(18:05):
you know,
going up and down and you have no idea what's happening over there either.
But that's our,
our beautiful weird crazy story.
Yeah,
that,
that is amazing.
So,
one of the things I always where I talk about is like when you're trying to create impact how important commitment is and like what I'm hearing you talk about is you're talking about like really finding a place and doing something that was so meaningful to you personally that the commitment question just was like off the table,
(18:34):
of course you were gonna be there and do it.
Yeah.
How,
how do you or maybe let me put it this way.
What would you say to people thinking about starting this journey in terms of the mindset they need to have when they're considering foster care for us.
(18:54):
It was very easy to talk about even launching a nonprofit after we had done it if we had not walked the walk yet.
Um I would feel,
you know,
I don't want to say a fraud because of course,
you can be passionate about something,
but I wouldn't have felt as equipped to lead an organization.
(19:15):
Now if I had not been there myself in the trenches with families showing up at court hearings,
having my heart broken.
Um you know,
actually having gone through those things,
I think better equips me as a leader and as an advocate to stand up for those things.
And so regardless of the cause or the situation,
(19:36):
I think it is just a lot more believable and you have a lot more credibility.
If you have been in those situations and you can share your own personal story,
anybody can get up and you know,
preach about whatever they want to.
But if you bring personal stories into it,
the,
the connection they with the audience or,
you know,
(19:56):
with your employees,
it's just so much more powerful.
And so we've always been passionate about this topic,
but we've only been fostering for four years.
So if we had launched this nonprofit prior to that,
I think it would be in a much different space than it is now.
Yeah,
you're talking about authenticity,
right?
But what's also interesting is I think so,
(20:17):
so many times people that want to do good,
particularly if they are running a business that they're trying to grow and they're trying to be successful and they're like,
well,
maybe I want to do a,
a nonprofit or do some philanthropic work or foundational,
but it's not directly related to what I'm doing in my business doesn't seem to matter.
Like foster,
foster care.
(20:37):
It has really nothing to do with,
with entertainment or baseball.
Right.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And,
and we say that all the time,
you know,
oh,
we could have started a nonprofit that saved puppies at great cause,
you know,
but personally we travel every day of the year so we don't have a dog.
So it's just not as easy of a connection and it's not as believable,
(20:59):
it's not as authentic.
And so there are so many great causes out there.
But if you are a leader that wants to do something as long as you are invested in that,
there's your connection between the for profit business and,
and the nonprofit,
you know,
it doesn't have to be perfectly aligned.
But if you as the leader are the connector,
then I think it makes perfect sense.
(21:21):
No,
I,
I love that.
And um but if you can make it connected,
that's like where the gold is.
Like,
so when you said,
oh,
you know,
Jesse woke up in the middle of the night with the Banana Foster's name.
When I found out about your organization,
I literally stopped and was like,
that is so brilliant,
so brilliant.
Like,
you know,
when,
(21:42):
when I think about things that make sense for businesses,
you know,
there's four things when people come to me,
you know,
as a,
as an impact coach like,
hey,
what do I need to think about which is reflect the values and the purpose of your business,
create an authentic connection,
which is what you just said,
be on brand and generate real impact.
(22:03):
And boy,
did you hammer the brand?
Did you just like high five at like 3 a.m. when you woke up with this name?
Yeah,
that's where a lot of his great ideas come from.
So that's,
that's I'm no stranger to that.
Um Yeah,
it was brilliant right away.
I knew,
I knew that was it,
you know,
so it was perfect.
So where do you want to take this?
Like you just,
you,
you're just getting going with this if you project yourself 10 years into the future,
(22:28):
what impact do you want to see?
Bananas foster having?
I am so excited about this question because what I'm about to say as what our goals are.
It's a scary thing and it's,
you know,
people might roll their eyes and say that's una unachievable.
We have been very fortunate with the bananas to grow the interest in our waiting list.
(22:49):
We have over 2 million people on a waiting list to try to get tickets to one of our live shows.
It's crazy.
I I can't even understand,
you know,
how we have gotten there and we're so grateful for it.
We have created a waitlist for people trying to get tickets to our games.
What if we created a waitlist for people in this country,
(23:11):
in the foster care system?
What we're doing right now as a society,
as,
you know,
government groups who are taking care of these Children is kids are,
are being brought in to foster care and they're being pushed out as quickly as they can to any open bed that can be found.
Sometimes that's a very well matched foster home.
(23:33):
Most times it's a,
a not great matched foster home or it's a group home or it's a hotel room or it's a cot alone on the DS S floor.
Um,
but their goal is to find a bed for this child.
And right now,
we do not have enough foster families to take care of the foster youth that are,
(23:56):
that are in foster care.
So our thought is if we can create a waitlist for people who want to come to our games,
why can't we help advocate and build a foster care family wait list so that they're just sitting there waiting in the wings.
They're not,
you know,
driving down the door,
be beating down the door is trying to get a kid that's not what this is about,
(24:19):
but we are there waiting to support the right child.
So that when a call comes in,
we are equipped as a society to place the child with the right family.
We are putting kids in homes where they speak different languages from,
from the family doesn't make sense.
The kid has already gone through so much trauma.
(24:39):
There's gonna be more trauma coming out of that.
Right.
We're moving them into different counties.
So now they're not just away from their family,
but they're away from their school.
They're away from their friends,
the street,
the only street they've ever learned and known.
So if we can equip enough people to just be there ready,
then we can match the right child with the right family for that for that time in their life.
(25:01):
And I believe we will cut back on so much unnecessary trauma.
Uh So much unnecessary cost from a government side.
If you want to go down that path of moving these kids all over and trying to drive them back and forth for court dates and visits and things like that.
There's just so much good that could come from having enough people,
you know,
(25:21):
as a,
as a foster family,
you get continuous calls even though you're already taken care of probably biological Children and current place,
which there,
there's a lot of work,
there's doctor's appointments,
there's therapy,
there's visits,
there's court hearings.
Um And then when you bring on multiple cases,
you have to do all that for each child.
What if we had a family who could concentrate on one case at a time?
(25:42):
One child at a time,
poured all of our heart and,
and time and energy into that child and that biological family and helping them reunify.
I just think that there would be a much bigger success rate.
And so where we need to go is to get first the surplus of families so that we can match correctly.
And I think it all starts there.
So that's our,
(26:03):
our big goal is to get more people interested and at least going through the training and signed up so that when those calls come in,
we can connect people properly.
So like how do you like?
What's the right now like right now there's over 400,000 Children in the foster care system in the country that have not been matched up with,
(26:27):
you know,
pre AOP home and things like that.
So let's start there,
you know,
let's let's get to that number and that's huge impact,
that is huge impact.
So awareness getting people interested,
like,
what should you talked about training?
I think that's a really comforting idea that you're not just walking in and somebody is like driving by and say,
(26:51):
here's a kid.
There you go like that.
Yeah.
So every county,
every community um has different training.
Sometimes it goes through your local government,
through the city,
sometimes it goes through private agencies.
Um There's a lot of different ways you can become licensed.
But yeah,
they equip you with most of the information that you would need.
(27:13):
Ours took about nine months of classes.
But again,
it was online,
you can go to in person ones now and get,
get um licensed a lot quicker,
but they equip you with the information and the tools that,
that you're gonna need.
If you've never been through certain traumatic experiences,
you know,
they're gonna educate you and what that means.
If you've never taken care of a detoxing baby,
(27:33):
they're gonna tell you what that looks like.
And again,
it's not as scary once you've been through that and you feel educated,
you feel like you have other people alongside you.
You know,
I have,
of course,
now this this neighborhood of foster families who have been through things.
So if I haven't,
they have um you know,
you just,
you get this extension of your family and for people who are going to support you.
(27:55):
And so once that all happens,
it's a lot easier to accept that call and say,
yep,
I feel confident and ready for this.
So,
you know,
we are doing that right in that there is a,
a procedure you have to go to before you are a licensed foster family,
you have to be approved by the state.
There's all sorts of background checks and fingerprinting and you know,
(28:15):
we make sure that it's good people doing it for the right reason.
So there,
there are those steps that we are going through uh you know,
as a society to take care of the licensing part.
Well,
yeah,
and I think,
you know,
it bears repeating that you have choice here too.
You are in a position to say,
hey,
if the detoxing NICU child is,
(28:38):
is not where you're going to show up best as foster parents,
you don't need to be in that place.
There are plenty of other people that you can say yes to and make a difference.
Right.
Absolutely.
And that's the goal.
If we have enough of us waiting in the wings,
we don't need to feel guilty about saying no to that first call because we know that there's someone better equipped to say yes and that the yes,
(28:59):
we're gonna say it is going to go for the right child.
So what,
it's been a short journey for bananas foster and,
and,
and you can answer this the way you want.
But what are you most proud of?
Like what I think the,
the most exciting thing for us is when we inspire a new person to get involved.
(29:22):
And so like I said,
at every game,
we take a current foster family from that community down on the field and we tell the,
the fans,
hey,
we just want to celebrate this family.
They've been licensed for 12 years.
They've welcomed 74 Children into their home in that time.
You know,
they've helped reunify all these kids with biological family members,
they've adopted to look at these superstars,
(29:44):
look at what they're doing right here in our community and then we walk off the field and people either go on our website or they come up to us in person or they go up to the foster family who we've celebrated.
And they're saying,
wow,
we have no idea.
You've inspired me.
I wanna do this.
I want to get involved.
And so on our website,
Bananas foster.org,
we have a lot of different ways that you can get involved.
(30:06):
It's not always becoming a foster family because I truly respect and understand that that does not fit into everybody's lifestyle.
But you can make a meal for somebody who is a foster family and help burden that first night with a new placement when they're,
they're upholding a crying child all night.
You know,
you can help pick up the other kids in the home so that you can have a one on,
(30:26):
one on one shopping date with your new placement.
Uh They can,
they can bring ice cream over to lift everybody's spirits.
You know,
there's,
there's other things that you can do.
We're always trying to help connect people with donation locations so that you can donate goods.
You know,
somebody might end up with a baby and maybe they haven't had a baby in their house in 10 years.
So they don't have a crib anymore.
There's so many ways to support foster families.
(30:47):
And so that's what we're most proud and most excited about is when we get these new connections,
these new relationships that happen at the ballparks or through our website of people saying,
ok,
I'm in,
I've heard you,
I want to do something.
How can I help?
And we just,
we connect them to the right organization,
the right person,
the right family so that they can at least be involved in a small way.
(31:09):
Well,
it's interesting,
you know,
one of the statistics that I,
I noted on,
on your website is that you make the point that 30 to 50% of fostered parents quit within the first year just because they feel like they're under resources,
under resourced and under supported.
Yes,
it's true.
(31:30):
And it's my number one piece of advice for somebody who I know is about to become a foster family before you do it.
Get your,
get your community,
get your group together and get that support system ready and tell them what you're going through.
Hey,
this is what I'm going through.
You probably haven't been exposed to it just like I wasn't exposed to it,
you know,
before I went through the training.
(31:51):
But this is what my family is about to walk into.
We're gonna get a call at midnight and the next day we're going to have a new member or members of our family and this is what I'm gonna need from you when that happens.
So many of us are too proud to ask for help.
This is one situation you need to ask for help and you need to do it before it happens.
You need to prime your group to be ready.
(32:11):
The only reason that Jessie and I have been able to be successful in this.
Um and I say successful in a way,
you know,
I don't think we're rock stars or,
or anything,
but we've been successful to the point of keeping our girls healthy and happy.
And that's because other people showed up for us.
We had meals for two months,
taken care of for us by our neighborhood.
Uh because we were taking care of a detoxing newborn,
(32:34):
we didn't know how to do that while also taking care of our other Children and our house and our business.
And you know,
there just wasn't time to make a healthy dinner,
but our,
our community showed up and did that.
And so that's my number one piece of advice for people is before you accept that first call,
you make sure that you have people,
you're about to call right after and say this is what's going on.
(32:55):
This is where I need you to show up.
So when you think about the partnerships and the the community and the and and kind of the it takes a village in a sense,
it's kind of what I'm hearing you say,
right?
Like how can small businesses or local businesses contribute to that vision through bananas foster?
Like what are the partnerships that are gonna be really meaningful to helping you advance your organization in,
(33:19):
in the communities?
You're serving.
Yeah,
we're most people in the nonprofit sector are,
are always looking for,
you know,
financial donations and that those are always great for us.
Truly,
we're just looking for more connectors.
So we go to ballparks across the country and we're not familiar with those locations.
And so what's really been helpful to us is when people go on our website and say,
(33:43):
hey,
I have somebody in Des Moines who,
you know,
runs this foster care closet.
I never thought I would have a need to connect them to somebody in Savannah,
Georgia.
But here,
here it is.
And so the more connections,
the more organizations,
the more families who we hear about,
we can put them in our database.
And so that,
and when we go to these cities and people say,
(34:05):
hey,
I,
I,
I'm hearing what you're saying.
I want to get involved.
Now we have an outlet of where to send them.
You know,
we started with just having people in,
in the Georgia region where we knew how to support people there.
But now we're,
we're getting lists from all over the country.
And so that's really what we're looking for is um organizations,
people,
ways to help in other communities.
(34:27):
And it,
it's all education for all of us.
So any of those types of relationships that we can make,
we,
we want to.
No,
that's,
that's awesome.
And it's a,
it's an easy way for people to start educating themselves and start exploring it without committing their lives to,
to this bigger,
you know,
uh goal that you've got of creating a waitlist.
(34:50):
I love that idea so much.
Um So I've been thinking about this question,
I asked everybody that comes on to my podcast this last question and I think it's gonna,
I'm so looking forward to your answer,
which is when you think about your journey here,
(35:10):
what rules did you have to break to create this beautiful impact that you're having in your business and in your life and with the nonprofit,
you know,
foster care in general and adoption and anything along those lines,
I think breaks the mold of what hundreds of years ago it looked like to create a family.
(35:36):
Um,
we've done this a little bit in our business.
We,
we say that we're a bananas family.
We tell each other,
I love you every day.
Uh,
there's a million business coaches and executives out there that would say that's the wrong thing to do.
You're,
you're not supposed to mix business and pleasure.
You're not supposed to be a family,
it's not what we believe.
And so we have kind of broken that mold of saying this is how we create our family,
(36:01):
this is who we're choosing to be in our family.
And so from a professional sense,
I think we've broken it in that sense where we have all become a family.
You know,
we've all moved to a new city and become brothers and sisters or,
um,
you know,
aunt uncle kind of figures to each other and mentors to each other.
(36:22):
And Jessie and I have,
have tried to do that in our personal life too.
We've kind of broken that mold of,
hey,
we're gonna settle down and we're gonna,
the old fashioned way,
have 2.2 Children and live in our one house with a white picket fence.
And,
um,
that's just not our life.
You know,
there are tons of different people who come and stay with us at a certain time if they need to.
(36:43):
And our home is just open to anybody.
We basically live on the road.
So we've broken that rule of,
hey,
we have to be settled down and have our,
our perfect cookie cutter house that,
you know,
America has,
has said this is the normal thing.
You know,
we don't,
we don't live that lifestyle either.
And we're just this kind of traveling group of people who are passionate about bringing positivity to other people,
(37:09):
whether that's our biological Children or others who have joined us along the way.
You know,
we're all one big family now and we,
we believe in that and we're gonna keep preaching that because I think everybody,
if we all lived like that,
there'd be a lot more love in the world.
And,
um,
so that's what,
that's what we're gonna focus on.
I love that and couldn't agree more you're talking to one executive coach that is 100% in your camp.
(37:34):
Live yourself,
do yourself in your business and see what comes of it.
Emily,
how can people get in touch with you to connect you to those resources?
Where can they reach out and,
and,
and find out more?
Yeah.
Bananas Foster.
It's an easy name to remember.
So,
Bananas foster.org is our website and then we're on all the social media platforms and we're constantly on there and connecting people.
(37:57):
So we'd love to hear your stories or people that you wanna,
you know,
nominate for us to recognize or just groups that you think we should connect with.
We are still in our infancy,
we're still growing,
but we have had tons and tons of people already.
We'd love to hear from your people.
You have millions of fans already and now they have another reason to cheer for Bananas.
(38:19):
So thank you so much for everything you're doing and thank you so much for your time today.
It really inspired me and I'm gonna have to go figure out who I can connect you with right now.
Awesome.
We love it.
Thank you for your time and for allowing us to share this message.
You can find Michael Messer at discerning strategies.com.
(38:42):
Set up a free 20 minute consultation,
clarify your goals,
scale your business,
amplify your impact,
discerning strategies.com
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