Avoid These Four Fatal Mistakes to Save Your Marriage

Knowing how to navigate the stormy waters of a troubled marriage can be daunting. This content is made to help you avoid the four critical mistakes that could end your marriage during its early stages. The decisions you make during this critical period can either put your marriage on a path towards reconciliation and happiness or lead towards an unfortunate end.

The first mistake to avoid is not acting like a wise and mature man. In such situations, emotions run high with a mixture of panic, anger, and desperation. However, one must learn to suppress these destructive feelings and show a strong, confident, and loving front to the spouse. Remember, this is not a time for blaming or pleading but a time for understanding and acceptance.

The second error is the lack of leadership within the marriage. You can't force a mindset change through manipulative tactics or pressure but rather, you should be leading by being attractive in all aspects – physically, emotionally, and mentally. The key is pulling her towards you, not pushing her into a situation she no longer finds comfortable or rewarding.

The third fatal misstep is failing to act as a considerate and understanding husband. If your wife doesn't feel liked, loved, respected, and safe, then your role as a husband isn't being adequately performed. Strive to make your wife feel better in every interaction, and with time, this will reshape the dynamics of your strained relationship.

So, immerse yourself in this insightful content, learn to avoid these fatal mistakes, and revive your marriage, ensuring it works better and leads to a blissful future.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Four critical fatal mistakes that you must avoid in the early days.
And look, man, I know it's scary.
I know it hurts. I know you're worried about your kids and your future and your finances.
And what I want to do is I want to give you extreme encouragement that if you
will avoid these four fatal mistakes, that you can put your marriage back on
a path and a trajectory of reconciliation, bliss, and happiness.

(00:20):
Number one is not acting like a man. Look, brother, brother,
I know you feel desperation.
I know you feel panicked. I know you feel angry and I know you feel hurt.
And inside of that space, you must recognize that the true man is able to deal
with those feelings and present a strong and confident and loving face and front
for his wife. You got to overcome your desperation.

(00:42):
You've got to find a way to do that, man. You've got to accept the reality that
this is where your wife's head and heart are, and this is the direction that
she is is heading, and there's no amount of begging or whining or pleading or
being angry that's going to fix it.
So what you need to do is you need to think clearly, and you need to act like
a man, not a monster with the blaming and shaming and defending and deflecting,
and not a mama's boy with the begging and the pleading and the empty promises

(01:04):
that are never going to get any better.
First and foremost, man, you have got to make a decision that this marriage
will work, will continue to work, and will continue to work better because you're
going to learn how to do it God's way.
And when you do marriage God's way, your marriage has a 100% chance of success.
So when you get this wrong, what ends up happening is your wife just digs in

(01:26):
her heels and feels justified in her decision and feels like her decision has been rational.
And inside of that space, she doesn't need you. She's outgrown you. It's time to move on.
Okay, now let's talk about mistake number two. Mistake number two is that you're
not acting like a leader. My brother, you got to understand your role in this marriage.
You are the head of her. That's Ephesians 5. And there's not going to be a quick

(01:47):
fix here, brother. You're not just going to be able to say a few magic words.
We have helped thousands of men to fix this problem in six to eight weeks,
but it's not an overnight fix, and it's not something you can just talk your way out of.
But what I want you to know most importantly is do not use push or force behaviors.
When you're trying to lead somebody and you're trying to get somebody to change

(02:07):
their mindset, if you're pushing them into it, what's going to happen is they're
going to dig in their heels and they're going to push back.
Pushing is not going to work in this space. You need to lead with pull behaviors.
These are powerful behaviors. What this means is making yourself as attractive
as possible, making yourself this man who, where when she compares her future
with any other man, that man looks like a distant second compared to you, brother.

(02:31):
And if she compares her future alone without a man, that future is a distant
second to a future with you, brother.
And so inside of this space, man, you have got to understand you must not try
to manipulate or use logic.
You must lead with attraction.
You must study attraction. You must understand how to become more attractive
to your wife, and inside of that space, you will pull her to you like a magnet,

(02:53):
not push her into a marriage that no longer works for her.
Now let's talk about number three. You fail to act like a husband.
Look, man, there's only three reasons that women leave men, and it's all about
how she feels. She doesn't feel liked. She doesn't feel loved.
She doesn't feel respected, and respected can also be thought of as safe.
For you to solve this problem, you have got to become an expert at understanding

(03:14):
how she feels moment by moment in every interaction and get better at making
her feel better. Better how?
Better liked, better loved, better respected and safe. If you could make your
wife feel more loved, more liked, more respected and safer in every interaction,
you could turn this video off and you'd be done. It wouldn't happen overnight, but over...

(03:36):
Music.

(06:08):
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Music.