February 8, 2023 • 23 mins
The things that often break us are the things that actually make us strong.
When we are in the midst of pain, heartbreak, or tough moments in life it can be so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Nature is a good reminder that there are seasons and cycles to life, and that life itself continues. The sun continues to rise and shine EVERY SINGLE DAY! Without fail. Even if there are clouds overhead, or its raining or snowing, the sun is still there we just might not be able to see it. But it's there.
That's what we have to remember. The sun, our light, our power, our divine connection to source is always there, always within us to call on, to tap into, to remember.
Don't lose hope. Hold on and remember it won't be like this for long.
I am with you ❤️
You can find a picture of the moment I talked about of me 'rolling' with my dad at my wedding as we shared our father daughter dance together in his wheelchair here:
Send me a DM on FB or IG and let me know if this message resonated with you 💋✌️
#itwontbelikethisforlong #messagesofhope #hopedealer #inspiration #selfgrowth #yougotthis #riseup #youarepowerful
#noapologies #knowyourworth #vibehigh #riseabove #raiseyourvibe #selfworth #youarestrong #youaredivine #youareworthy #affirm #rememberwhoyouare #rememberwhothefuckyouare #healingoldwounds #healingjourney #heartaf #theheartafpodcast #podcast #youarenotalone #youareloved #youareworthit #standtall #ownit
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
hey everyone.
What's up?
It's Chelsea Van Buskirkwith the Heart AF Podcast.
Hope you guys are all doing well.
I've had a lot going on, which is whythis week's podcast is coming out a
little bit later than normal, but it'sall good because shit happens, right?
And okay,
there's this really beautifulsong that was actually, um, me
and my dad's song for my wedding.
(00:28):
, you know, there's the father daughterdance and so my dad picked the song for
our dance, and the song was, It won'tbe like this for long by Darius Rucker.
Which is actually a very, very sweet song.
And whenever it comes on, I, of coursetear up kind of a little emotional right
now just thinking about it because,um, you know, it's essentially a song
sung by a father talking about, youknow, when he first brings his new
(00:51):
baby daughter home and those nights ofno sleep and you know, essentially the
song singing won't be like this for longbecause you know, then of course babies
grow and then they become toddlers.
And it just talks about the challenges,you know, just as you are a parent and
just the notion that, you know, whenyou're in these moments where it feels
like it's forever, like the sleeplessnights or you know, when they're
(01:12):
toddlers and they're being a-holes like.
, it won't be like this for long.
Right.
And that's kind of the, thepoint of the song is that, you
know, before you know it, you'rewalking her down the aisle, right?
Um hmm.
Getting emotional.
Um, and so, the song is just a very sweetsong and obviously reminds me, my dad
because he chose it for our, um, you know,our dance, or I should say our "roll"
(01:35):
I don't know.
, you know, for those ofyou who know, my dad was a
quadriplegic, so in a wheelchair.
So for our dance, I sat in his lapand he, um, you know, moved his
wheelchair around the dance floor,and that's how we did our dance.
And it was actually really cool.
Sorry.
Um, you know, it was just a verymagical moment, I guess you could say.
(01:55):
But anyway, following with that song,I mean, it's just so important because.
. So many times in our lives we're inthese points, right where it, things
are complicated, things are hard, andI think that's an important, kind of
token to keep in the back of our mindsis that it won't be like this for long.
Right?
Whatever your struggle is, it'snot gonna be like this forever.
(02:16):
And I think it's a great, youknow, tip, especially in parenting,
because parenting is hard.
It's one of the hardest jobs you do.
And being a child, you know, havingparents yourself and watching them
grow old and the frustrations you havewith your own parents as they're aging
and things like that or when you haveto start taking the responsibility
and caring for your own parents.
Like, that's hard and there's a lotof hard parts of that, but again, you
(02:38):
know, you keep in the back of yourmind won't be like this for long.
Um, because it's true, you know,your kids eventually grow up and
become independent and move out.
Right?
And just like our parents, like, there comes a point where our
parents become dependent, right?
They need care.
And you know, that can be a lot, um, foran adult child to take on the care of
(02:59):
a parent and children at the same time.
That happens to a lot of people.
Um, now in this day and age, justbecause as a society, you know, uh,
people are having kids either laterand also people are living longer.
So our parents, you know, arealive longer and, and, and needing
care for longer periods of time.
And it's just kind of where we're at,where a lot of, um, you know, those
of us who are in like the middleof adulthood, we can sometimes be
(03:21):
split between caring for our kidsand our parents at the same time.
There's just a large number of thatpopulation right now in this time period.
. So going back to that, so knowing you won't be like this for long, right?
Like, it's so important to know becauseyou don't wanna get stuck into these
miserable feelings that you're feelingright now or, in the hard things.
And you're just kind of likestaying stuck in that moment
(03:41):
of, you know, being frustrated.
Um, and just keeping thatlittle, that little voice.
And even that song, like, if you guyswanna go and listen to that song and
just really, you know, let those wordssink in that there is hope, right?
Because I think that's, at the end ofthe day, depending on what the situation
is and what you are struggling withand what you're trying to get through
at any given moment, like we can losehope, and this song is a reminder of
(04:06):
hope, and that's what this episodeis, is about having hope, knowing that
things aren't gonna suck forever, right?
Like things aren't gonna be hard forever.
And when you look back, on timeswhere things were really hard, you
begin to have a different perspective.
It's different when you're in it.
When you're in it, it'shard to see, right?
It's hard to get perspective.
(04:26):
And so that's why it's reallyimportant to kind of pause and
reflect, to see if you can step backand get some outside perspective.
And knowing that it won't be likethis, and knowing that there comes a
time where you're going to miss thesedays with your young kids, you're
gonna miss these moments with yourparents when they're no longer here.
Right.
and this got me thinking too aboutjust how, I talked about the
hustle culture a few weeks ago.
Right.
And how, you know, It's like thissocietal pressure that we have to like
(04:49):
work hard and we have to like slay allday and hustle hard and all these things.
And you know, there's nothing wrongwith working hard and going after goals.
Like I've said that multiple times.
But again, there needs to be thistenderness or this point where you're
taking time to actually enjoy life.
Right.
And taking time to actually be in themoment and be present and enjoy life and
(05:10):
not get so caught up and always havingto do something, always having to hustle.
And I think a good lesson inthis is also just nature, right?
Like nature is such a big guidance system.
It's right there in ourface every day, right?
But we just don't take the time toreally acknowledge it, most of us anyway.
But it has so much to teach us.
(05:30):
Nature has so much to teach us, right?
. It shows us that life goeson no matter what, right?
Like no matter what things, whatchaos, what traumas happen, any of
these things that happen in our livesthat are so earth shattering and, and
everything like life goes on, right?
The sun still rises every day and.
Uh, this creates seasons, right?
(05:52):
Like the earth is turning, like thingsare always, moving and there's, there's
these phases and seasons to things.
There's seasons to life, right?
Like even in parenting, talkingabout that, like, there's
seasons of parenting, right?
Where, you know, you have the infancystage where you're having to keep this
little person alive who can basicallydo nothing for themselves, right?
Like you're doing everythingfor this little baby.
(06:12):
And then as they grow and theystart to become more dependent,
like your parenting changes, right?
You get these differentstages of parenting.
Um, I'm at a place right now whereI've got three different stages, right?
I still have this toddler who'salmost four, and then I have, um, my
middle just turned 10, so she's kindof in between that, you know, kid.
Almost preteen, but still a kid.
(06:33):
You know, she's kind of in this middle.
And then I've got my 12 year old who'salmost 13, and she's full on preteen mode.
Like we're in middle school.
Like it's a wholedifferent ballgame, right?
It's different phases of parenting.
I'm in different spots.
It's different.
And what I wanted to elaborate withthis whole thing like this, this,
these phases, these seasons, is.
it's okay to take timeoff sometimes, right?
(06:54):
Like it's, it's okay to, youknow, hibernate and to grow and
to plan and to do these things.
You think about, you know, um,farming or growing vegetables, like
if you do a garden, you know, um,you know there's seasons, right?
There's like a time where you'regetting the soil ready, um, and then
you're planting the seeds and thenwhen they sprout and they're ready to
be planted, and then you water them.
You let them grow, right?
(07:14):
They're getting sunshine, they're gettingtheir nutrients, and they're growing.
And you, and it has thisseason of growth, right?
So then there's this time periodof growth, and then finally you
start bearing fruit, right?
The vegetables and the fruits startgrowing until , it's time for them to
be like harvested and picked, right?
that's important to apply toour life too, because there's
seasons, there's phases of things.
You don't have to be, you know,tilling the soil all year round, right?
(07:37):
There's a period for that.
There's a period for, youknow, rest and growth.
And, and so I think that's somethingthat you need to apply to, like, so
many different things, especiallywhen it comes to, you know, business
and, and doing things like when wehave these goals for our lives, right?
When we wanna changethings about ourselves.
Like to really give ourselves thisspace and also this grace to be able
to do it in a manner that's cohesivewith whatever season we're in.
(08:01):
So I can give you an example.
In 2017, I had joined a new, um, businessbuilding program and I was about to build
my own online based business and it wasgonna be, um, fitness and health themed
because, um, I had a lot of experiencewith, um, dieting and, you know, I
used to sell, um, nutrition products andI saw just how awful I felt like this
(08:25):
diet culture was, where people were justthinking they had to sacrifice so much
and they were, um, just extreme dietingand just trying to live up to these
non, sustainable ways of getting fit.
Right.
And so I wanted to start a businessthat was all about sustainability
and basically, Being able to enjoyyour physique and, and to be healthy
and fit, but also live your life.
(08:46):
And so that was something that I wantedto build and, um, be a voice for that.
And put a lot of money into a programto help me build my business, um, and do
this online health fitness coaching thing.
And my dad, um, got really sick.
he was very, very close to dying in 2017.
(09:07):
, I left my home in Colorado andflew out to, um, meet him in in
Lubbock, Texas, um, where he had beenairlifted from his hometown in New
Mexico because he just, he had losta lot of oxygen, um, to his brain.
And so, um, I think they call it ananoxic brain injury where essentially,
you know, his oxygen levels were so lowthat there was brief moment where he
(09:30):
did not, was not getting enough oxygen.
and anyway, so he was intubatedand he was in ICU for a very
long time and I flew out.
I stayed in Lubbock forsix weeks by his side.
It was a very challenging time.
But anyway, I'm right in the middleof trying to start this business.
Do you think I was like still trying torun this business while uh, my dad's life
was in balance and I was like fightingfor him and being his advocate in the
(09:51):
hospital and sleeping in the hospital,staying up nights and, you know, only
resting during the day for a couple hours.
And my uncle would come and stay inthe hospital room with him so I could,
you know, nap and shower, whatever.
No, like I wasn't buildinga business right then.
Right?
Like that time was a season for meto step in and be there for my dad.
Right.
I actually took a break from being withmy husband and kids in that period.
(10:12):
I made a decision to be there for myfather and fight for him and be his
advocate and, and help him re recuperate.
And he did.
He was able to you know,rehabilitate and get back to life.
Things were not quite the same afterthis illness because like I said, he,
um, suffered that anoxic brain injury.
So, you know, somebody who was alreadyquadriplegic already limited and the,
(10:34):
his, a lot of his abilities bouncedback, but also then had more limitations
and, um, That was really hard for himto, you know, come back and, you know,
I think he was thankful to be alive,but he also was really upset in a lot
of ways because he did lose some of theindependence he did have previously.
Um, you know, he already didn't havea lot of independence in his state
(10:55):
and then more of it got taken away.
So that was a hard thing for him.
But, you know, that's kind of anotherstory, but I'm just saying, you
know, that was a season where I hadto do that and be that for my dad.
And, um, you know, I think about toall the weight that I had put on, you
know, when I was grieving after hepassed, like that really wasn't the
right time for me to start a rigorousfitness and health routine, right?
(11:19):
Like that was a time where I justneeded to focus on getting out of bed.
I needed to focus ontaking a shower, right?
Like I was so in the throes of griefthat I just needed to like do enough to
just survive the day-to-day to still.
They're available for my kids.
And, you know, honestly, Iprobably wasn't the best mom.
In the depths of my grief, you know,initially, like I probably wasn't
(11:42):
fully present in a lot of ways butthat was the season I was in.
Again, like this is the point I'm tryingto make, is that there's seasons of
life that you go through and it's okay.
That's the biggest thing I want youto know, is that it's okay because
you don't have to be, you know,gunning it and going 24 7, 365.
That's not natural.
That's going against like thenatural rhythms of life, right?
(12:02):
Like.
, you know, there's phases of the moon andthere's phases to a woman's cycle, right?
And like each phase isequally as important.
So, you know, you think of likethe season's changing, right?
Like where, you know, winter,that's like a hibernation period.
That's a time for like maybe planningand like organizing and resting, right?
And then the spring comes and maybethat's when you like really hustle.
(12:24):
That's when you're working andyou're planting the seeds and you're
doing, you're doing the go-getter.
You're creating, you're doing all thesethings and the summertimes when you kind
of let it, you know, you let all yourwork pay off and you get to let it grow
and bloom, and then the fall is maybewhen you come and harvest things, right,
where things are like snowballing, takingaction, like you're actually reaping
what you sowed, so to speak, right?
(12:46):
Like, so there's seasons to things andno you don't have to like just, you
know, plan and rest during the wintertimeand only work hard in the spring.
Like, I'm not saying that, but I'mjust saying use nature as your guide.
Use it as a helpful tool to see thatit's okay to cycle things, and it's
okay to organize your life in a wayto where you're not getting burned out
(13:08):
because you're systematically having.
these phases, right?
Like where, I mean, you caneven phase your days out, right?
Like when you're scheduling yourtime, like, you know, I rest this
period, or I take a little break here.
Um, this is my, this is my part ofthe day where I'm most creative.
I'm most awake, so this is the partwhere I'm creating and I'm doing things.
(13:28):
And then this is the time where I'mmore like low key and I can do more like
data entry or things like that, right?
Like there's ways to apply kind ofcyclical or phase thing, you know, on your
day to day, in your weeks, like in yourmonths, even like when you're planning
out your months and days, like, thisis the day that I do all these tasks.
You know?
So I'm just saying it's a way.
(13:49):
To really reflect and look at your lifeand how you can set yourself up for
success by allowing yourself to workin phases and taking time out when you
need to and knowing that it's okay.
And like, you know, if you do have to taketime off for something that's happening
in your life right now, like that's okay.
Like you have to do what'sbest for you in that moment.
(14:10):
Like, you know, things come up andsometimes you have to rearrange things
because that's what you need in that time.
You know, you really have to thinkabout like, what's most important
to you and what, what do you value?
And, you know, I just think it's soimportant to keep ourselves in check by
having, you know, daily reflections orweekly reflections where we're really
(14:30):
looking at like, what are we doingwith our time and what's useful with
our time and where are we giving ourenergy and where should we be , you
know, pulling back on some of the thingsand, and really looking at, you know,
where are we creating joy in our lives?
Because I have noticed peoplewho, you know, are easily.
Depressed or who easily, lose their joybecause they're just living their lives
(14:52):
day to day, just following their routines.
And they're unaware, right?
They're checked out, they're justgoing through the motions of life,
and they're not really present.
They're not really there, right?
Like they're not really living.
And that's where we can, you know,kind of spiral into these negative
loops and stay stuck and just, anddepression comes more easily because
(15:13):
we're in this low vibrational statebecause we're not really living.
Just going day by day, goingthrough the days, just going
through the motions and just, youknow, kind of sleepwalking, right?
Sleepwalking through life.
Like, not really like changinganything or doing anything.
And, um, and there is a thing about,um, seasonal depression, right?
When it is more cloudyand cold like that can.
(15:33):
It can affect you, right?
And it's so important, again, tojust be an advocate for yourself
and to check yourself and reflectand see like what are you doing and
where are you going in your life?
And it's okay if you don't have all theanswers, but it's important to check in.
And if you're unhappy, if you're feelingthat slump and you're feeling down, you
(15:54):
have to be that advocate for yourselfand pull yourself up and be proactive
and like, what can I do to change this?
Because I will tell you, it'snobody else's responsibility
to make you happy but yourself.
And that's where I think we getinto trouble sometimes, is we rely
on things or other people, orsetting goals or achievements like
we think our happiness is based.
(16:14):
So when I achieve this, then I'mgonna be happy When I complete this
project, I'm gonna be happy When Ihave a child, I'm gonna be happy.
Like all these, I mean, it couldbe anything like when I get
this car, I'm gonna be happy.
When I land this account, when I have thismany followers, when blah, blah, blah.
Like, then I'll be happy, thenthings will be going great.
No things are great whenyou make them great.
(16:35):
You're happy when youchoose to be happy, right?
Life's continually moving.
The sun's rising andsetting each day, right?
The, the moon's doing itsphases, right day in and day out.
It's doing its thing.
It knows its job, it's living life,it's doing its thing, and it, the
days are gonna pass you by, right?
Like time is gonna pass you byand you need to check in and
(16:56):
see what's missing in your life.
See what you can do for yourselfto bring yourself more joy, to make
sure that you are taking controland responsibility in your life.
Because you get to choosewhere you spend your time.
You get to choose what you're givingaway and what you wanna do, right?
Like you let yourself get tied up indoing all these things that you don't
(17:17):
wanna do because you're saying yes tothings that you need to say no to, right?
We're not, setting boundaries.
We're not present.
If we're not present and we'renot checking in with ourselves and
we can't articulate and set ourboundaries and do the things that
we need to do for ourselves, right?
We just kind of likelet things happen to us.
This is when we let life happen tous instead of taking control and
(17:37):
being in charge of our own lives.
Right?
And then the, the truth of it is you don'thave anybody else to blame but yourself.
You can't blame your problems or yourunhappiness or your depression on
anything or anybody else but yourself.
You have got to take control.
You have to be your A one from day oneand, and rise up and, and do the things
you need to do to keep moving forward.
(17:58):
And like I said, give yourself grace.
Give yourself time.
This does not mean that you have tobe like hustling . Like, you know when
you're going so hard all the time,you're not taking care of yourself.
You're just go, go, go take a timeout.
There's seasons for a reason.
take a breath, take astep back, realign plan.
Figure out how to reorganize thingsto better fit your schedule, to
(18:21):
better fit your life, to better fithow you can take care of yourself
and thrive and be successful.
Right?
There are ways to make things happenthe way you want them to, to go, right?
Like there's ways to createthe life of your dreams.
I am dead serious.
It's so real and so possible.
It's just that we, we doubt ourselvesand we don't believe it's true.
(18:42):
and, what did I say last week?
Right?
Like you'll see it when you believe it.
Like you have got to have that beliefin yourself and believe that things
are possible and believe in hope andagain, that's why I wanna come back
to where I started with this song.
It won't be like this for long.
If you're stuck.
It won't be like this for long.
You don't have to let it.
You are responsible.
You can change things.
You can stand up, right?
(19:02):
Like so many times youmight think you're drowning.
And it's a small pool, and it's reallyjust because you're on your knees
and all you have to do is stand up.
You stand up and , thewater's not that deep.
You just have to stand up.
But if you don't stand up, youare gonna solely drown, right?
So stand up for yourself.
Rise up.
Like it's so important.
Take a timeout.
If things are shitty right now.
(19:23):
Take a deep breath.
It won't be like this for long, I promise.
Know that.
Keep that hope deep inside youbecause you can bounce back.
You can rise up.
Things can be good again.
Take it from me.
I mean, I know so many other peoplehave experienced so much other loss
and pain too, I've been there though.
I know what it's like to grieve.
(19:43):
I know what it's like to go through pain.
I know what it's like.
To not know if you are gonnahave a relationship like your
life partner the next day, right?
Like I know what it's like to havethose kinds of fears where you are
questioning your whole life, right?
Because of something that may havehappened or has come up, right?
Like, I get it.
I know what it's like to bescared and not, you know, not
(20:05):
know what's coming and it's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
It won't be like this for long.
You're gonna figure it out.
You just have to take a timeout.
and then remember thatyou do have the power.
You have the power to make changes, todecide how you wanna live your life.
You have the power tochoose how you feel, right?
(20:26):
Like it all, it all starts with youand your mindset and your thoughts,
your thoughts lead to your feelings.
I'm here to encourage you andto help you see that there is
hope, and to see that it's okay.
to take a break.
Like you don't have to go zeroto a hundred gas on the pedal,
like full throttle all the time.
(20:47):
It doesn't have to be like that.
Like it's a twisted world thatputs that idea under our heads.
But that's not the way it is.
That is not the way plants grow, right?
Like I'm looking outside my window.
The trees don't have anyleaves on 'em right now.
Why?
Because that's, it's notthe season for that, right?
Pretty soon the little budsare gonna start coming out.
Springtime.
They'll blossom summer, we'regonna have full trees, right?
(21:07):
It's seasonal.
It's fine to just take things asthey come and to take time to do
things that we need to do and takea time out when we need to take
a time out and just realize that.
Every stage, no matter where you'reat, is beautiful and necessary, right?
Taking time off is necessary,resting is necessary.
(21:29):
Making sure you're takingcare of yourself is necessary.
Like you cannot fully thrive andbe happy and joyful if you're going
a hundred percent all the time.
If you're keeping yourself stuck.
Telling yourself thesenegative affirmations, right?
Like when you're like stuck in thatlike depressive state, like you're
(21:50):
gonna keep yourself there until youcan pull yourself back up, right?
Like you're gonna stay stuckunless you do something about it.
And it's okay to be there andfeel those feelings and be in
the moment, but don't stay there.
Okay?
Let it go.
Process it, let it go.
Rise up, get back up.
The sun will always shine.
It always comes back.
(22:10):
And I know if you've, if you're local herein Colorado, we've had a shitty January
where it's been very cold, like abnormallycold, a lot more snow than normal and
more cloudy days than sunshine, I swear.
And it's, it fucks with you.
It definitely messes with you.
And the suns now on the forecast,like even though it's still cold, the,
(22:31):
when the sun's out, it feels amazing.
And that sun is your hope.
Okay?
Even when the clouds are there thesun's still there behind them, right?
If you can't see the sun,it's still there every day.
It's still there.
Even when you can't see it, even when theclouds are covering it, it's still there.
The sun is the hope, and that's whatI want you to hold onto, is having
hope even when times get roughand won't be like this for long.
(22:54):
Okay?
So just keep, take that toheart, keep that in mind.
Sending you guys allso much love this week.
Thank you guys so much for listening.
I really appreciate it.
Let me know how you're feeling.
Did this episode speak to you?
I wanna know, like, have you gonethrough seasons in your own life?
Have you noticed that where you kindof take time off or maybe you need to?
(23:17):
Was this an awareness check for you?
Like were you not aware that maybethis is something that you do or you
need to take some time off and reflect?
Um, did it speak to you to knowthat it won't be like this for long?
Like I would love to know and hearback from you what your thoughts
were on this week's episode.
You can send me a DM onFacebook or Instagram.
My handle is @chelsea.vanbuskirk,or you can find me on my website
(23:40):
at chelseavanbuskirk.com.
Thanks for listening.
I'll see you guys next week.
Peace.
hey everyone.
What's up?
It's Chelsea Van Buskirkwith the Heart AF Podcast.
Hope you guys are all doing well.
I've had a lot going on, which is whythis week's podcast is coming out a
little bit later than normal, but it'sall good because shit happens, right?
And okay,
there's this really beautifulsong that was actually, um, me
and my dad's song for my wedding.
(00:28):
, you know, there's the father daughterdance and so my dad picked the song for
our dance, and the song was, It won'tbe like this for long by Darius Rucker.
Which is actually a very, very sweet song.
And whenever it comes on, I, of coursetear up kind of a little emotional right
now just thinking about it because,um, you know, it's essentially a song
sung by a father talking about, youknow, when he first brings his new
(00:51):
baby daughter home and those nights ofno sleep and you know, essentially the
song singing won't be like this for longbecause you know, then of course babies
grow and then they become toddlers.
And it just talks about the challenges,you know, just as you are a parent and
just the notion that, you know, whenyou're in these moments where it feels
like it's forever, like the sleeplessnights or you know, when they're
(01:12):
toddlers and they're being a-holes like.
, it won't be like this for long.
Right.
And that's kind of the, thepoint of the song is that, you
know, before you know it, you'rewalking her down the aisle, right?
Um hmm.
Getting emotional.
Um, and so, the song is just a very sweetsong and obviously reminds me, my dad
because he chose it for our, um, you know,our dance, or I should say our "roll"
(01:35):
I don't know.
, you know, for those ofyou who know, my dad was a
quadriplegic, so in a wheelchair.
So for our dance, I sat in his lapand he, um, you know, moved his
wheelchair around the dance floor,and that's how we did our dance.
And it was actually really cool.
Sorry.
Um, you know, it was just a verymagical moment, I guess you could say.
(01:55):
But anyway, following with that song,I mean, it's just so important because.
. So many times in our lives we're inthese points, right where it, things
are complicated, things are hard, andI think that's an important, kind of
token to keep in the back of our mindsis that it won't be like this for long.
Right?
Whatever your struggle is, it'snot gonna be like this forever.
(02:16):
And I think it's a great, youknow, tip, especially in parenting,
because parenting is hard.
It's one of the hardest jobs you do.
And being a child, you know, havingparents yourself and watching them
grow old and the frustrations you havewith your own parents as they're aging
and things like that or when you haveto start taking the responsibility
and caring for your own parents.
Like, that's hard and there's a lotof hard parts of that, but again, you
(02:38):
know, you keep in the back of yourmind won't be like this for long.
Um, because it's true, you know,your kids eventually grow up and
become independent and move out.
Right?
And just like our parents, like, there comes a point where our
parents become dependent, right?
They need care.
And you know, that can be a lot, um, foran adult child to take on the care of
(02:59):
a parent and children at the same time.
That happens to a lot of people.
Um, now in this day and age, justbecause as a society, you know, uh,
people are having kids either laterand also people are living longer.
So our parents, you know, arealive longer and, and, and needing
care for longer periods of time.
And it's just kind of where we're at,where a lot of, um, you know, those
of us who are in like the middleof adulthood, we can sometimes be
(03:21):
split between caring for our kidsand our parents at the same time.
There's just a large number of thatpopulation right now in this time period.
. So going back to that, so knowing you won't be like this for long, right?
Like, it's so important to know becauseyou don't wanna get stuck into these
miserable feelings that you're feelingright now or, in the hard things.
And you're just kind of likestaying stuck in that moment
(03:41):
of, you know, being frustrated.
Um, and just keeping thatlittle, that little voice.
And even that song, like, if you guyswanna go and listen to that song and
just really, you know, let those wordssink in that there is hope, right?
Because I think that's, at the end ofthe day, depending on what the situation
is and what you are struggling withand what you're trying to get through
at any given moment, like we can losehope, and this song is a reminder of
(04:06):
hope, and that's what this episodeis, is about having hope, knowing that
things aren't gonna suck forever, right?
Like things aren't gonna be hard forever.
And when you look back, on timeswhere things were really hard, you
begin to have a different perspective.
It's different when you're in it.
When you're in it, it'shard to see, right?
It's hard to get perspective.
(04:26):
And so that's why it's reallyimportant to kind of pause and
reflect, to see if you can step backand get some outside perspective.
And knowing that it won't be likethis, and knowing that there comes a
time where you're going to miss thesedays with your young kids, you're
gonna miss these moments with yourparents when they're no longer here.
Right.
and this got me thinking too aboutjust how, I talked about the
hustle culture a few weeks ago.
Right.
And how, you know, It's like thissocietal pressure that we have to like
(04:49):
work hard and we have to like slay allday and hustle hard and all these things.
And you know, there's nothing wrongwith working hard and going after goals.
Like I've said that multiple times.
But again, there needs to be thistenderness or this point where you're
taking time to actually enjoy life.
Right.
And taking time to actually be in themoment and be present and enjoy life and
(05:10):
not get so caught up and always havingto do something, always having to hustle.
And I think a good lesson inthis is also just nature, right?
Like nature is such a big guidance system.
It's right there in ourface every day, right?
But we just don't take the time toreally acknowledge it, most of us anyway.
But it has so much to teach us.
(05:30):
Nature has so much to teach us, right?
. It shows us that life goeson no matter what, right?
Like no matter what things, whatchaos, what traumas happen, any of
these things that happen in our livesthat are so earth shattering and, and
everything like life goes on, right?
The sun still rises every day and.
Uh, this creates seasons, right?
(05:52):
Like the earth is turning, like thingsare always, moving and there's, there's
these phases and seasons to things.
There's seasons to life, right?
Like even in parenting, talkingabout that, like, there's
seasons of parenting, right?
Where, you know, you have the infancystage where you're having to keep this
little person alive who can basicallydo nothing for themselves, right?
Like you're doing everythingfor this little baby.
(06:12):
And then as they grow and theystart to become more dependent,
like your parenting changes, right?
You get these differentstages of parenting.
Um, I'm at a place right now whereI've got three different stages, right?
I still have this toddler who'salmost four, and then I have, um, my
middle just turned 10, so she's kindof in between that, you know, kid.
Almost preteen, but still a kid.
(06:33):
You know, she's kind of in this middle.
And then I've got my 12 year old who'salmost 13, and she's full on preteen mode.
Like we're in middle school.
Like it's a wholedifferent ballgame, right?
It's different phases of parenting.
I'm in different spots.
It's different.
And what I wanted to elaborate withthis whole thing like this, this,
these phases, these seasons, is.
it's okay to take timeoff sometimes, right?
(06:54):
Like it's, it's okay to, youknow, hibernate and to grow and
to plan and to do these things.
You think about, you know, um,farming or growing vegetables, like
if you do a garden, you know, um,you know there's seasons, right?
There's like a time where you'regetting the soil ready, um, and then
you're planting the seeds and thenwhen they sprout and they're ready to
be planted, and then you water them.
You let them grow, right?
(07:14):
They're getting sunshine, they're gettingtheir nutrients, and they're growing.
And you, and it has thisseason of growth, right?
So then there's this time periodof growth, and then finally you
start bearing fruit, right?
The vegetables and the fruits startgrowing until , it's time for them to
be like harvested and picked, right?
that's important to apply toour life too, because there's
seasons, there's phases of things.
You don't have to be, you know,tilling the soil all year round, right?
(07:37):
There's a period for that.
There's a period for, youknow, rest and growth.
And, and so I think that's somethingthat you need to apply to, like, so
many different things, especiallywhen it comes to, you know, business
and, and doing things like when wehave these goals for our lives, right?
When we wanna changethings about ourselves.
Like to really give ourselves thisspace and also this grace to be able
to do it in a manner that's cohesivewith whatever season we're in.
(08:01):
So I can give you an example.
In 2017, I had joined a new, um, businessbuilding program and I was about to build
my own online based business and it wasgonna be, um, fitness and health themed
because, um, I had a lot of experiencewith, um, dieting and, you know, I
used to sell, um, nutrition products andI saw just how awful I felt like this
(08:25):
diet culture was, where people were justthinking they had to sacrifice so much
and they were, um, just extreme dietingand just trying to live up to these
non, sustainable ways of getting fit.
Right.
And so I wanted to start a businessthat was all about sustainability
and basically, Being able to enjoyyour physique and, and to be healthy
and fit, but also live your life.
(08:46):
And so that was something that I wantedto build and, um, be a voice for that.
And put a lot of money into a programto help me build my business, um, and do
this online health fitness coaching thing.
And my dad, um, got really sick.
he was very, very close to dying in 2017.
(09:07):
, I left my home in Colorado andflew out to, um, meet him in in
Lubbock, Texas, um, where he had beenairlifted from his hometown in New
Mexico because he just, he had losta lot of oxygen, um, to his brain.
And so, um, I think they call it ananoxic brain injury where essentially,
you know, his oxygen levels were so lowthat there was brief moment where he
(09:30):
did not, was not getting enough oxygen.
and anyway, so he was intubatedand he was in ICU for a very
long time and I flew out.
I stayed in Lubbock forsix weeks by his side.
It was a very challenging time.
But anyway, I'm right in the middleof trying to start this business.
Do you think I was like still trying torun this business while uh, my dad's life
was in balance and I was like fightingfor him and being his advocate in the
(09:51):
hospital and sleeping in the hospital,staying up nights and, you know, only
resting during the day for a couple hours.
And my uncle would come and stay inthe hospital room with him so I could,
you know, nap and shower, whatever.
No, like I wasn't buildinga business right then.
Right?
Like that time was a season for meto step in and be there for my dad.
Right.
I actually took a break from being withmy husband and kids in that period.
(10:12):
I made a decision to be there for myfather and fight for him and be his
advocate and, and help him re recuperate.
And he did.
He was able to you know,rehabilitate and get back to life.
Things were not quite the same afterthis illness because like I said, he,
um, suffered that anoxic brain injury.
So, you know, somebody who was alreadyquadriplegic already limited and the,
(10:34):
his, a lot of his abilities bouncedback, but also then had more limitations
and, um, That was really hard for himto, you know, come back and, you know,
I think he was thankful to be alive,but he also was really upset in a lot
of ways because he did lose some of theindependence he did have previously.
Um, you know, he already didn't havea lot of independence in his state
(10:55):
and then more of it got taken away.
So that was a hard thing for him.
But, you know, that's kind of anotherstory, but I'm just saying, you
know, that was a season where I hadto do that and be that for my dad.
And, um, you know, I think about toall the weight that I had put on, you
know, when I was grieving after hepassed, like that really wasn't the
right time for me to start a rigorousfitness and health routine, right?
(11:19):
Like that was a time where I justneeded to focus on getting out of bed.
I needed to focus ontaking a shower, right?
Like I was so in the throes of griefthat I just needed to like do enough to
just survive the day-to-day to still.
They're available for my kids.
And, you know, honestly, Iprobably wasn't the best mom.
In the depths of my grief, you know,initially, like I probably wasn't
(11:42):
fully present in a lot of ways butthat was the season I was in.
Again, like this is the point I'm tryingto make, is that there's seasons of
life that you go through and it's okay.
That's the biggest thing I want youto know, is that it's okay because
you don't have to be, you know,gunning it and going 24 7, 365.
That's not natural.
That's going against like thenatural rhythms of life, right?
(12:02):
Like.
, you know, there's phases of the moon andthere's phases to a woman's cycle, right?
And like each phase isequally as important.
So, you know, you think of likethe season's changing, right?
Like where, you know, winter,that's like a hibernation period.
That's a time for like maybe planningand like organizing and resting, right?
And then the spring comes and maybethat's when you like really hustle.
(12:24):
That's when you're working andyou're planting the seeds and you're
doing, you're doing the go-getter.
You're creating, you're doing all thesethings and the summertimes when you kind
of let it, you know, you let all yourwork pay off and you get to let it grow
and bloom, and then the fall is maybewhen you come and harvest things, right,
where things are like snowballing, takingaction, like you're actually reaping
what you sowed, so to speak, right?
(12:46):
Like, so there's seasons to things andno you don't have to like just, you
know, plan and rest during the wintertimeand only work hard in the spring.
Like, I'm not saying that, but I'mjust saying use nature as your guide.
Use it as a helpful tool to see thatit's okay to cycle things, and it's
okay to organize your life in a wayto where you're not getting burned out
(13:08):
because you're systematically having.
these phases, right?
Like where, I mean, you caneven phase your days out, right?
Like when you're scheduling yourtime, like, you know, I rest this
period, or I take a little break here.
Um, this is my, this is my part ofthe day where I'm most creative.
I'm most awake, so this is the partwhere I'm creating and I'm doing things.
(13:28):
And then this is the time where I'mmore like low key and I can do more like
data entry or things like that, right?
Like there's ways to apply kind ofcyclical or phase thing, you know, on your
day to day, in your weeks, like in yourmonths, even like when you're planning
out your months and days, like, thisis the day that I do all these tasks.
You know?
So I'm just saying it's a way.
(13:49):
To really reflect and look at your lifeand how you can set yourself up for
success by allowing yourself to workin phases and taking time out when you
need to and knowing that it's okay.
And like, you know, if you do have to taketime off for something that's happening
in your life right now, like that's okay.
Like you have to do what'sbest for you in that moment.
(14:10):
Like, you know, things come up andsometimes you have to rearrange things
because that's what you need in that time.
You know, you really have to thinkabout like, what's most important
to you and what, what do you value?
And, you know, I just think it's soimportant to keep ourselves in check by
having, you know, daily reflections orweekly reflections where we're really
(14:30):
looking at like, what are we doingwith our time and what's useful with
our time and where are we giving ourenergy and where should we be , you
know, pulling back on some of the thingsand, and really looking at, you know,
where are we creating joy in our lives?
Because I have noticed peoplewho, you know, are easily.
Depressed or who easily, lose their joybecause they're just living their lives
(14:52):
day to day, just following their routines.
And they're unaware, right?
They're checked out, they're justgoing through the motions of life,
and they're not really present.
They're not really there, right?
Like they're not really living.
And that's where we can, you know,kind of spiral into these negative
loops and stay stuck and just, anddepression comes more easily because
(15:13):
we're in this low vibrational statebecause we're not really living.
Just going day by day, goingthrough the days, just going
through the motions and just, youknow, kind of sleepwalking, right?
Sleepwalking through life.
Like, not really like changinganything or doing anything.
And, um, and there is a thing about,um, seasonal depression, right?
When it is more cloudyand cold like that can.
(15:33):
It can affect you, right?
And it's so important, again, tojust be an advocate for yourself
and to check yourself and reflectand see like what are you doing and
where are you going in your life?
And it's okay if you don't have all theanswers, but it's important to check in.
And if you're unhappy, if you're feelingthat slump and you're feeling down, you
(15:54):
have to be that advocate for yourselfand pull yourself up and be proactive
and like, what can I do to change this?
Because I will tell you, it'snobody else's responsibility
to make you happy but yourself.
And that's where I think we getinto trouble sometimes, is we rely
on things or other people, orsetting goals or achievements like
we think our happiness is based.
(16:14):
So when I achieve this, then I'mgonna be happy When I complete this
project, I'm gonna be happy When Ihave a child, I'm gonna be happy.
Like all these, I mean, it couldbe anything like when I get
this car, I'm gonna be happy.
When I land this account, when I have thismany followers, when blah, blah, blah.
Like, then I'll be happy, thenthings will be going great.
No things are great whenyou make them great.
(16:35):
You're happy when youchoose to be happy, right?
Life's continually moving.
The sun's rising andsetting each day, right?
The, the moon's doing itsphases, right day in and day out.
It's doing its thing.
It knows its job, it's living life,it's doing its thing, and it, the
days are gonna pass you by, right?
Like time is gonna pass you byand you need to check in and
(16:56):
see what's missing in your life.
See what you can do for yourselfto bring yourself more joy, to make
sure that you are taking controland responsibility in your life.
Because you get to choosewhere you spend your time.
You get to choose what you're givingaway and what you wanna do, right?
Like you let yourself get tied up indoing all these things that you don't
(17:17):
wanna do because you're saying yes tothings that you need to say no to, right?
We're not, setting boundaries.
We're not present.
If we're not present and we'renot checking in with ourselves and
we can't articulate and set ourboundaries and do the things that
we need to do for ourselves, right?
We just kind of likelet things happen to us.
This is when we let life happen tous instead of taking control and
(17:37):
being in charge of our own lives.
Right?
And then the, the truth of it is you don'thave anybody else to blame but yourself.
You can't blame your problems or yourunhappiness or your depression on
anything or anybody else but yourself.
You have got to take control.
You have to be your A one from day oneand, and rise up and, and do the things
you need to do to keep moving forward.
(17:58):
And like I said, give yourself grace.
Give yourself time.
This does not mean that you have tobe like hustling . Like, you know when
you're going so hard all the time,you're not taking care of yourself.
You're just go, go, go take a timeout.
There's seasons for a reason.
take a breath, take astep back, realign plan.
Figure out how to reorganize thingsto better fit your schedule, to
(18:21):
better fit your life, to better fithow you can take care of yourself
and thrive and be successful.
Right?
There are ways to make things happenthe way you want them to, to go, right?
Like there's ways to createthe life of your dreams.
I am dead serious.
It's so real and so possible.
It's just that we, we doubt ourselvesand we don't believe it's true.
(18:42):
and, what did I say last week?
Right?
Like you'll see it when you believe it.
Like you have got to have that beliefin yourself and believe that things
are possible and believe in hope andagain, that's why I wanna come back
to where I started with this song.
It won't be like this for long.
If you're stuck.
It won't be like this for long.
You don't have to let it.
You are responsible.
You can change things.
You can stand up, right?
(19:02):
Like so many times youmight think you're drowning.
And it's a small pool, and it's reallyjust because you're on your knees
and all you have to do is stand up.
You stand up and , thewater's not that deep.
You just have to stand up.
But if you don't stand up, youare gonna solely drown, right?
So stand up for yourself.
Rise up.
Like it's so important.
Take a timeout.
If things are shitty right now.
(19:23):
Take a deep breath.
It won't be like this for long, I promise.
Know that.
Keep that hope deep inside youbecause you can bounce back.
You can rise up.
Things can be good again.
Take it from me.
I mean, I know so many other peoplehave experienced so much other loss
and pain too, I've been there though.
I know what it's like to grieve.
(19:43):
I know what it's like to go through pain.
I know what it's like.
To not know if you are gonnahave a relationship like your
life partner the next day, right?
Like I know what it's like to havethose kinds of fears where you are
questioning your whole life, right?
Because of something that may havehappened or has come up, right?
Like, I get it.
I know what it's like to bescared and not, you know, not
(20:05):
know what's coming and it's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
It won't be like this for long.
You're gonna figure it out.
You just have to take a timeout.
and then remember thatyou do have the power.
You have the power to make changes, todecide how you wanna live your life.
You have the power tochoose how you feel, right?
(20:26):
Like it all, it all starts with youand your mindset and your thoughts,
your thoughts lead to your feelings.
I'm here to encourage you andto help you see that there is
hope, and to see that it's okay.
to take a break.
Like you don't have to go zeroto a hundred gas on the pedal,
like full throttle all the time.
(20:47):
It doesn't have to be like that.
Like it's a twisted world thatputs that idea under our heads.
But that's not the way it is.
That is not the way plants grow, right?
Like I'm looking outside my window.
The trees don't have anyleaves on 'em right now.
Why?
Because that's, it's notthe season for that, right?
Pretty soon the little budsare gonna start coming out.
Springtime.
They'll blossom summer, we'regonna have full trees, right?
(21:07):
It's seasonal.
It's fine to just take things asthey come and to take time to do
things that we need to do and takea time out when we need to take
a time out and just realize that.
Every stage, no matter where you'reat, is beautiful and necessary, right?
Taking time off is necessary,resting is necessary.
(21:29):
Making sure you're takingcare of yourself is necessary.
Like you cannot fully thrive andbe happy and joyful if you're going
a hundred percent all the time.
If you're keeping yourself stuck.
Telling yourself thesenegative affirmations, right?
Like when you're like stuck in thatlike depressive state, like you're
(21:50):
gonna keep yourself there until youcan pull yourself back up, right?
Like you're gonna stay stuckunless you do something about it.
And it's okay to be there andfeel those feelings and be in
the moment, but don't stay there.
Okay?
Let it go.
Process it, let it go.
Rise up, get back up.
The sun will always shine.
It always comes back.
(22:10):
And I know if you've, if you're local herein Colorado, we've had a shitty January
where it's been very cold, like abnormallycold, a lot more snow than normal and
more cloudy days than sunshine, I swear.
And it's, it fucks with you.
It definitely messes with you.
And the suns now on the forecast,like even though it's still cold, the,
(22:31):
when the sun's out, it feels amazing.
And that sun is your hope.
Okay?
Even when the clouds are there thesun's still there behind them, right?
If you can't see the sun,it's still there every day.
It's still there.
Even when you can't see it, even when theclouds are covering it, it's still there.
The sun is the hope, and that's whatI want you to hold onto, is having
hope even when times get roughand won't be like this for long.
(22:54):
Okay?
So just keep, take that toheart, keep that in mind.
Sending you guys allso much love this week.
Thank you guys so much for listening.
I really appreciate it.
Let me know how you're feeling.
Did this episode speak to you?
I wanna know, like, have you gonethrough seasons in your own life?
Have you noticed that where you kindof take time off or maybe you need to?
(23:17):
Was this an awareness check for you?
Like were you not aware that maybethis is something that you do or you
need to take some time off and reflect?
Um, did it speak to you to knowthat it won't be like this for long?
Like I would love to know and hearback from you what your thoughts
were on this week's episode.
You can send me a DM onFacebook or Instagram.
My handle is @chelsea.vanbuskirk,or you can find me on my website
(23:40):
at chelseavanbuskirk.com.
Thanks for listening.
I'll see you guys next week.
Peace.
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