Birthday Special - Isis Edition

A preseason recording from July, recapping Isis' birthday celebration, gift giving, cheese and the forbidden birthday blues.

Song of the Ep: Sittin' On (the Dock of the Bay)

Beverage of Choice: Topo Chico mixed with moka pot coffee

P.S. Youtube video includes shenanigans 

Follow us on IG @krisispodcast

More info here

Episode Transcript

Isis (00:15):
Welcome to Crisis with Kira and isis.

Kiera (00:17):
Welcome to Crisis.
I'm Kim Kardashian.

Isis (00:22):
And I'm Jeff Bezos.

Kiera (00:25):
ladies
and Gentle Fish.
It's a very special day.
It's Amazon Prime Day.
Was that your joke?
That was

Isis (00:36):
really good.

Kiera (00:38):
I've been, I've been sitting on Easter that one all day.
okay.
But for real it is.
ISIS's birthday
Um, well,
it's
not a birthday without a little,

Isis (00:53):
what kind of cake is this?

Kiera (00:55):
It's a,

Isis (00:55):
Smells almondy.

Kiera (00:57):
It is almondy.
It's a crunchy almond cake.
It's Claire SFU's crunchy almond cake.
Ooh.
I and it literally looks exactly
like hers.
So you're very proud of yourself?
I'm very
proud.
Okay.
Lemme see.
Also, I obviously thiswas like very random.
And I only know that you don'tlike chocolate, so I know you do

(01:18):
like almond, but you're correct.
I

Isis (01:20):
do not like chocolate.
This, this was just

Kiera (01:22):
an
executive decision
The Happy Birthday song isn't
copyrighted anymore.
Oh.
But I do have my own personal songsthat I made up when I was like 12.
Oh, do, are you gonna sing it for me?

Isis (01:34):
Yeah.

Kiera (01:34):
Okay.
So it goes,
happy birthday.
I says
your birthday, birthday, birthday.
Uh, you're older
now.

Isis (01:44):
That was really good.
Time to eat cake.

Kiera (01:47):
Mm.

Isis (01:48):
Mm-hmm.
That's some
good shit.

Kiera (01:51):
You're
happy

Isis (01:53):
That made my whole day

Kiera (01:54):
even better.
I'm glad.
Brought some sweetness into my birthday.
Oh

Isis (01:57):
So old biz, basically me, Kira, our
significant others
We did a two night camping tripand some other friends came by.
We were in Lake Tahoe.
was my time ever camping and everyonewas so perplexed by the idea that
I wanted to camp for my birthday.
But I loved it.
Like, I wish, I wish we did itfor like a third or fourth day.

(02:17):
It was just, it was a lot fun.

Kiera (02:19):
I made a tri-tip.
It was dank.

Isis (02:21):
Good tri-tip, zucchini, some hot dogs, dude, lots,
chips.

Kiera (02:26):
I
realize we should've done a hotdog
throwing.
video.
Video.

Isis (02:31):
You know, those are those things where you always see 'em and you always
think about 'em and then you never do it.
They always do because in the momentyou're just having so much other fun.
Yeah.
That's for people who dunnohow to have fun on their own.
Yeah, we played a lot of piccolo.
They've been wanting us to tag them all.
Fucking weekend.
If you don't know what piccolois, I recommend you download it.
It's a drinking game on your phoneand you get to input people's names

(02:52):
and it has fun things and prompts.
So definitely check that out.

Kiera (02:56):
you wanted to make friends.
Oh yeah.

Isis (02:59):
Talk about that.

Kiera (03:01):
You just, well, really, you were just drunkenly
stumbling into other people's
campsites.
But

Isis (03:08):
I was on a mission, but I apparently I started my mission too
late, so nobody was really interestedin have making friends at 1130 at night.
Yeah.
Me and Drew were stressed.
Yeah.
They did not want me going totalk to literally every campsite.
There's like 75 and I was like,

Kiera (03:22):
yeah, nobody looked were fun except for
people literally
right next to us.
oh my God.
what was the name of the lady that we met?
What lady?
Where the old lady We met an old lady?
Yeah.
Where?
That was in
the campsite
next to us, bro.
Oh, Frankie.
Yeah.
Frankie bro.
That
whole,

Isis (03:42):
yeah.
So there was this old woman, she was atotal, she was totally trying to get at
Kira's man and Kira was not having it.
Um, but she was really fun.
I think it was a

Kiera (03:51):
little mutual interaction.
So,

Isis (03:55):
We had some tequila shots together.
That was really fun.
I mean, honestly, Just meeting strangers,drinking, chilling with my friends.
Like there was nothing I could havewanted more than that kind of situation.
So I think it's a tradition.
We're always camping for mybirthday from here on out

Kiera (04:11):
So
do you first wanna talk gift giving?

Isis (04:14):
Yeah.
'cause some people ruin the basics ofhow to give a gift or how they should
give a gift or or they should give.
So some this is idealistic, butfor the most part, this is just
the base expectation that Ithink should be a consensus among

Kiera (04:26):
good

Isis (04:27):
Yeah.

Kiera (04:28):
Young adults for pretty much
any,
well, a lot of
it
is good gift giving in general, but
it is slightly specific to, uh, birthdays.

Isis (04:39):
and slightly
specific to our
time in
life.
This probably would changefor but we're not so, Yeah,
Yeah, if
you're 50.
Yeah.
Don't listen to
No one will like you.

Kiera (04:51):
Okay, so the way we this up
was separating it.
Into
acquaintance,
friends, significant others, and
family.
And that order is increasing of like
thought and money.

(05:13):
Mm-hmm.
That is going into your gift.

Isis (05:16):
Yes.
Which sounds obvious, but someof y'all still fuck it up.
So basically we're gonna startoff like at the acquaintance spot.
this is the least

Kiera (05:25):
intimate, the least amount of thought and the least amount of money.

Isis (05:28):
Now friends for some people is very black and white.
And for friends, for somepeople is very complex.
I would say anyone that is not yourbest closest friends, they fall into
the acquaintance part of of this
So it's totally sufficient to send thema text, if not even better than that.

(05:50):
More convenient than that is just.
Sliding up on their Instagram story.

Kiera (05:55):
Mm-hmm.
Little social media interactions.
That's probably the easiest.
That's like bare minimum.
And
just, if
care, you probably don't have to do
anything.
Yeah.
But if you're there on the, on thestory, just give a little heart,
a little, the the birthday to

(06:16):
emoji.
That'll

Isis (06:17):
wonders.
Well, I was also gonna say now, if youget invited to, because they don't expect

Kiera (06:21):
anything from
you.
so literally anything, anything is

Isis (06:24):
sufficient, then they're gonna be like, oh, so this is where this changes
if you get invited to the birthday party.

Kiera (06:31):
Yeah.
If you end up party,

Isis (06:32):
then you fall, fall into the friend category.
So that's when the acquaintanceresponse changes to friend.
Yeah.
Automatic friend zone,because you're probably

Kiera (06:41):
not gonna see in person.
Yeah.
And even if you do just tohappy birthday, high five

Isis (06:48):
is

Kiera (06:49):
all you but yeah.
So now we're in friend zone.
Yes.
Or you're at the acquaintance'sbirthday party friend zone,
or now we're in in friend
zone.

Isis (06:58):
All right.
So first things first.

Kiera (07:00):
If gonna see your friend, you should give him a call.
You him a.
But at least at least

Isis (07:06):
at him a text.
At At least it's the least you can do.
also, I'm giving advicethat I don't follow.
So anyone watching this?
I'm sorry, I, I know I didn'ttext you and I apologize.
And it's not just you.
I feel so bad it eatsaway at me every night.
But anyways, text or call.
We're talking have ourselves.

Kiera (07:25):
yeah, definitely send 'em a text.
Mm-hmm.
Even though it's like, I feel likeawkward sending texts though sometimes
it all happy birthday can be likeawkward, especially if you don't normally
text the person and you haven't like,texted them in like months and just
like an out of the blue, happy birthday.
but even when it's it's awkward, like it'salways, it's always like well received.

Isis (07:45):
it would be really hard for you to say happy birthday for someone and someone
be like, who the fuck is this bitch?
Why the fuck is she texting me?
Yeah, no, for, yeah.
Yeah.
There's

Kiera (07:52):
just no, for some
reason when sending it, itfeels like it's being received.
Like it's fake, but
No, it's

Isis (07:59):
not.
Yeah, it feels obligatory becauseyou're doing it out of obligation.

Kiera (08:04):
Yeah,

Isis (08:04):
but it's okay

Kiera (08:04):
because person doesn't

Isis (08:05):
it that way.
It's,
that way.
It's okay.
It'll be fine.

Kiera (08:07):
just send the text and put a fun emoji in there, or
just put fun emojis emojis screen

Isis (08:13):
when you can make the screen, you

Kiera (08:14):
know?
Oh, yeah.
Uh,
Uhhuh, look, confetti,

Isis (08:19):
do of that.
that.
No way.
Some of that, they're like, Ooh.
But yeah.
So now you're showing up at thefriend's birthday or the friend
of the acquaintance's birthday.
Mm-hmm.
Now what, what do you bring?
flowers

Kiera (08:33):
or

Isis (08:33):
alcohol?
Or
alcohol?
Yeah.
else.
Yeah.

Kiera (08:37):
Unless there's girl,
some girl, boy buy boys flowers.
Don't look past it.
Everybody likes flowers.

Isis (08:44):
The alternative, there is a houseplant, which is equally
fine, but alcohol doesn't matter.
You can bring a bottle of champagne,you can bring a case of beer,
you can bring a bottle of wine.
It literally doesn'tmatter a handle it Tequila.
I, 'em, I, 'em, i, 'emicing them is always,
it's
it, it's never done enough.
Never, never.

(09:04):
No, I've never,
You

Kiera (09:05):
can't overdo it.
Also
people like forget
it.
So Yeah.
So then you're like, oh actually
we're missing it.
I was nice on my birthdaylast year and I was
so not expecting
it.
And that's always
really fun.

Isis (09:17):
and if you're Mormon,

Kiera (09:18):
hit him

Isis (09:19):
bottle.
Did your Mormon friend tell you

Kiera (09:24):
that?
but
you
know can still have fun too.
Hit him with

Isis (09:28):
a LaCroix

Kiera (09:29):
dude.
No,
actually.
'cause those are like hard
chug

Isis (09:34):
cause
eruption.
You know that one video wherethe guy truck, the, So good.
Anyways, you can get personal and special,but you don't need to, like, there's, you
can write a card if that's your thing.
You can get a niche gift, likebuy them specific jewelry.

(09:55):
You can do all that.
But it's not mandatory.
No, not at all.
Especially if they'rethrowing a birthday party.
Yeah.
And you're not just doingit just to give them a gift.
If you are just showingup and you feel obligated

Kiera (10:05):
to bring something, there's already so much happening.
Like everything you're
just like,

Isis (10:09):
oh yeah.
On my birthday last year, I got a bunchof gifts like, you know, a purse and
a scarf and jewelry and I just startedputting everyone's gift into all the bags.
And then I didn't remember who gave mewhat and I kept staring at this one girl
who gave me a gift like three days before.
And I kept asking her,did you get me this?
And she was no.
And I was like, did you gimme me?
And then I remember like, no, shebought me a gift three days ago.
I'm acting now.
I found like a bitch.

(10:30):
'cause I don't rememberwhat gift she got me.
Yeah.
But I was also drunk.
But yeah, just no.
Mm-hmm.
And if you're gonna bring a gift, justdon't bring it to the birthday party.
'cause now it's just inthe mess and it's ah, yeah.

Kiera (10:41):
If you put that much thought into it, you
probably want it to be received, whichis with as much space and thought so.
give
them space.
Don't do it at

Isis (10:49):
party

Kiera (10:49):
because
Yeah,

Isis (10:50):
it's, they just are not gonna prioritize it unless they're
one of those adults that like sitaround, bring all their friends
around the table to open gifts.
Which,

Kiera (10:59):
unless you're like,
I like that only happens with
like women at likerestaurants for some reason.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's like the only, only appropriateplace if you're in your house, making
people sit on the floor around you.
Absolutely
Not

Isis (11:13):
wide elephant, but the go to you.
God.
Yeah.

Kiera (11:17):
Oh, and money,
of course.
Oh yes.
Well, and yeah, and a, a lot
of times, especially as you getolder, your, your friends d disperse
and you a lot of times probablywon't see them on their birthday.
And
this is when
money is Yeah.
Unless you like, I mean, you couldreally get fancy and like order

(11:38):
them an edible arrangement, but Kirareally isn't edible arrangements.
Most of us don't got, don'tgot the time or money for that.
Well, also most
of friends are there, but,but it would be a really

Isis (11:47):
gesture.
A lot of our friends are also at apoint where the $50 edible arrangement
is not nearly as valuable as the $50.
Oh.
So then you're buying people whowould rather have just had the $50.
but money, I was gonna say like, I amiconic, I dunno if I'm iconic about this,
but a when I, a lot of times when I don'tsee people for their birthday, I'll send
them five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty$5 for their birthday and you know, buy a

(12:11):
drink, get yourself a coffee, smiley face,
happy

Kiera (12:15):
That's like
perfect.
All you need

Isis (12:18):
It's so little effort, but we'll literally make the

Kiera (12:20):
person to hold.
But
like adding the
thought of that it's for a drinkmakes the $5 way $5 because like
out the blue $5, it, it useless.
Like, what

Isis (12:29):
the fuck?
Like why would you only set?
Like, you might as wellhave not set me money.
No, but when you

Kiera (12:33):
get
a coffee

Isis (12:34):
with the intention of
a drink, buy a beer.
Mm-hmm.
Then you're like, that'sa different world.
Like,
like, oh, that's sweet.
I can that.

Kiera (12:41):
if you're gonna them in
person, you can still, you
still like Venmo them
and sure they
get it and be
like, but I feel like cash
is more awkward in person.
You could do cash,
you have to get like a card.

Isis (12:55):
That whole thing.
Yeah.
It's the card problem.
Because but when you get a card nowyou feel the need to write in the card.
Oh,

Kiera (13:02):
I don't.

Isis (13:02):
there more

Kiera (13:03):
shenanigans?

Isis (13:03):
Forgot

Kiera (13:04):
I got you
card.

Isis (13:08):
There's no money in it.
Fuck

Kiera (13:10):
you have back.
I don't know if you wannaread it right now, but we
already busted it out, so fuck.

Isis (13:18):
Whoa,
this is
adorable.
Should I I loud?
No, no.

Kiera (13:24):
Absolutely not.
Okay.
It
is
not nice to make someone cry on
birthday, my
birthday.
Oh, I love you.
left you.
I love you so much.
Love you.
Oh, thank

Isis (13:43):
you.
that was hard for me.
Very proud.
Proud of you.
What?
To write

Kiera (13:46):
this.
You know how hard it is to like
be
serious.

Isis (13:50):
Well, yeah.
Well also it's 'cause like usually whenyou're thinking of things like this to
say, you're not in a place to write it.
So then when you're finally in aplace to write it, you're like, what?
Yeah, I love you.
You're the best.
But I'm gonna read the last line.
Yeah, I constantly try to remember.
These are the good old days.
It's true.
Yeah.
'cause one day we willnot have these days.
to another year of debaucheryand committing to our baby crisis.

(14:14):
I love you.
Happy birthday.
Your little Kira.
Mm-hmm.
And we got our good old days stripped fromus when I moved to Armenia and graduated.
Mm-hmm.
So we're real sentimentalabout this limited time we

Kiera (14:23):
have.

Isis (14:25):
Anyways, back to appropriate gift
giving.
Yeah.

Kiera (14:29):
a heartfelt card also is always
appropriate,

Isis (14:34):
but it does feel better if there's money inside and can make
up for the lack lack Uh, yeah.
It's, it, it honestly like that card.
Well, you did the card, the cake that,you know, the whole shebang, but Yeah.
But if it was
that, it would've just been as good.
Yeah.
anyways.
Uh, acts of service.
This one comes down to like,

Kiera (14:52):
well now we're in Besty category.

Isis (14:54):
So what you,
what do you think when it'sa birthday time, kind of
acts of service?

Kiera (14:59):
Oh, well it depends on like what they're doing for their birthday.
just start from there
because throwing a party,
like they're throwing a party'cause that seems like the
most like natural thing to do.
Not camping, but, um,
so
they're throwing a party and then, Imean, literally just like helping out with
like, everything that you can, like lastyear my friends, they helped me decorate.

(15:23):
they helped me setup, they made the cake.

Isis (15:26):
Other
big ones clean up isusually very important.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Clean especially 'cause thebirthday person usually gets
too fucked off their ass mm-hmm.
To do anything.
So if before
you
know, pick up some cans sort away,they're probably not even gonna
remember or appreciate that you did it.
But it's that you did it.
I was gonna say the other thing

Kiera (15:43):
with acts of service is like, I love cleaning up cans after
parties.
it's so easy 'cause it'sliterally just trash.
Yeah.
And that's the best

Isis (15:50):
thing

Kiera (15:51):
clean
up and like sticky.
Mm-hmm.
Which is you, and that's justlike wet, wet rag, wet rag
and just trash, just spit.
And so it's like you literallymake a space look completely.
Back to normal with
picking up trash.

Isis (16:03):
Yeah.
Well I was gonna say, theother thing is if you're
really
not into drinking and you guys aregoing partying, offer to be dd.
Yeah.
Like it, I would hate to have to figure
who
DD is gonna be.
That's a good one.
Especially if like someonedoesn't care to drink.
If you just offer that means thenI don't have to obligate Kira
or my boyfriend to not drink.
we were saying how access servicea huge indicator of like, good.

Kiera (16:28):
Well, your birthday it's a, a whole day about you
and
it's like your mini,
wedding practice with yourgirlfriends as far as it's the
same dynamic of it being about you
you
and you need help usually.
Yes.
And so it's obviously a lot lessintense, but it's just those like small
things especially like our friends arestarting to get married so, you know,

(16:49):
the friends that making like right now
are like, potential bridesmaids.
So.

Isis (16:53):
Yep.
And also
like if someone's causing you a lot ofstress, depression, or frustration on
your birthday, that's our big sign thatyou do not want them as a bridesmaid.
That's true.

Kiera (17:01):
Yeah.
But there's so don'tbe that friend either.
Right.
It's one thing to go aboveand beyond and like, help out.
it's one thing to like,
not to neutral and just like beadd to the, the fun, the vibes.
But it's a whole notherthing to add to the, the
negativity.
Don't be that and bring it down.

Isis (17:21):
Yeah.
It's like, don't be that guy.

Kiera (17:23):
I had kind of intense birthday last
year.
for like a majority of
reasons,
my friends were like so freaking helpfuland amazing I thought about it like
afterwards and I was like, that waslike literally one of, I think like
the best birthdays I've ever had.
And like, I felt so like lovedand like cared for and appreciated
But anyways, that's gettinga little ahead of ourselves.

(17:46):
definitely help out in the
ways that you can, if yourfriend wants to go camping, then
you know, fucking provides 10,
you know, bring some trit
tip and,
I think some of the best advice isjust like bringing back the childhood
cheese, man.
Oh my you a nostalgia with
you.
Because like when was the last timeyou saw a birthday hat or a party hat?

(18:09):
go to the dollar store and buy party hats.
Mm-hmm.
and a space themed happy birthday sign.
Mm-hmm.
And it's so small, but there'sjust something about it that
like warms your tummy and it's

Isis (18:20):
like such, I mean, the effort to do it is so much higher
than
because it's, you're only gonnaenjoy it for about moment.
Yeah.
Like, I'm gonna enjoy, I enjoyed itwhen you brought it out and I'm gonna
enjoy it I the
video uhhuh.
then I'm like two for atotal of maybe 10 seconds.
Am I gonna enjoy the factthat I have this on my head?
But the enjoyment is so strong in thatmoment where it's like, why would you not?

(18:43):
Well, were you gonna
the

Kiera (18:43):
effort than get out of it?
Because I was gonna say the opposite.

Isis (18:47):
Well, I was gonna say, you know, going to the grocery store and buying,
you know, that's a high effort thing.
But you
also not only make the personhappy, you pretty much make
everyone smile little bit.

Kiera (18:56):
Oh yeah.
It's so worth it.
Just for like the joke,
seeing people's faces when youbust out party hats is amazing.
It's so worth Anyways,
Party hats happy.
Birthday signs, balloons.
Oh yeah.
What is this called?
I don't know.
They're not kazoos.

(19:16):
That's what I was thinking about.
I knew it wasn't kazoo, But yeah, those
things

Isis (19:20):
Anyways, so now after that we
get into the
significant other territory, whichreally is really, this is how to
manipulate your boyfriend on his birthday

Kiera (19:35):
or girls.
you,

Isis (19:39):
um, relationships are are just, ew.
Yeah.

Kiera (19:45):
Ew.
Ugh.
Commitment.

Isis (19:47):
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Obligation.
Ugh.
Yeah, anyways, we're actually very happilyin our relationships, but here we are.
So

Kiera (19:57):
we were talking about just Josh and Yeah, the big

Isis (19:59):
part about, so I think money when you're in a relationship
can be a really difficult,
and.
I am a pretty traditional person, soyou know, my significant other pays
for pretty much a lot of things, ifnot like pretty much everything almost.
So because of that, I feel like theonly thing I can do for them is acts
of service and things that they like.
And then on their birthday is whereI will financially compensate because

(20:21):
I'll buy them a nice gift that they likeor do something extravagant because,
but it has to also be a gift thatthey're just not gonna buy themself
or something that they've been like,oh, I really want this and this, but
I just, you know, I'm saving for it.
If you could just buy it forthem, then they get to save
the save money that they have.
They get to spend on whatever elsethey want alternatively, and they got

(20:41):
something they really wanted out of it.
But I think the big thing is like, I alsothink when you're buying your significant
other a gift, like if you have, ifyou have a a $50, a hundred dollars,
a $500 gift minimum that you want toreceive, you should be willing to spend
double that on your significant other.
That's my opinion there.
What
do you think?

(21:01):
Um,

Kiera (21:03):
I guess it's hard for me to like place a value of like what.
I want spent on me.
Um, but I do agree it's definitely thetime to like spoil them, financially.
'cause
it's just least can do.
Like this is the day,you know what I mean?
Duh.
The day

Isis (21:18):
this and Christmas are the only two days they get until Father's Day.
Yeah.
And then Father's Day is when youjust get them, you know, start making
macaroni necklaces with your kids.
Yeah.
also, Kira's like a very sentimentalgift giver and likes to do
like arts and crafts and things.
I fail at that.
So for me, my crutch is, Monetaryvalue, but like, even, like, even

(21:40):
like her writing me the card,that's something that's hard for
me to reproduce for other people.
So sometimes I'm like, well, Ican't do that, so I'm gonna do

Kiera (21:48):
money.
Right.
I, I have more time than moneycurrently at this point in life.
So the least I can do islike, take my time to do

Isis (21:55):
something for someone else.
Yes.
And also just giving 'emprincess treatment for the day.
Yes.

Kiera (22:01):
Like even, oh my gosh.
Ugh.
I mean, I feel likeit's more of a guy thing
to be like, oh, my birthday, I
care.
I don't want anything.
Yeah.
We'll just get a

Isis (22:10):
a drink.
It's just like, I feel like the mostguys do is like dinner or bar hopping.
You very rarely see a birthday party.
Yeah.
Unless they have a girlfriend, Uhhuh,the guys have birthday parties when they
have girlfriends or they're in a frat.
Yeah.
That's just an excuse to party though.
Mm-hmm.
But like, I can't remember thelast time a single guy invited

Kiera (22:31):
you to a birthday party.
Not once.
Yeah.
No, never.
yeah,
they usually
care.

Isis (22:36):
which is sad.
You're allowed to care,

Kiera (22:37):
Jackie.
But
even if even
they say they don't want the princesstreatment, They want the princess
treatment.
Oh
Oh yeah.
And it always goes and it'seven, oh, it's honestly the
best when they,
when they're like, don't make a
big deal about it.
And then you still
give them and it's like, even ifthey don't say that they like,
like it, they, they love it.
They, they're like, I don't know.

(22:58):
Guys are definitely
not used to like
being like spoiled like that.
And it's so when you do it to them

Isis (23:04):
and like, yeah.
And the
might do that for them is their mom.
And you get to the point where youstop seeing your mom on your birthday.
you know, being extra thoughtful ofwhat you can do for them on that day.
day
Yeah.

Kiera (23:16):
Make a huge impact.
And it's their freaking, they get a getoutta jail free card on their birthday.
Oh yeah.
Free pass, whatever they
Go nuts.
Whatever they want.

Isis (23:27):
They can't fuck up

Kiera (23:28):
my, for the one day
the year, my feelings will go into a jar
under

Isis (23:34):
the sink and I won't hold it against you.
Probably depending,

Kiera (23:41):
but you know, I'll
wait until day

Isis (23:45):
But I think this is a good characteristic to have in general
with everyone that you love andcare for on their special days
or on their important days.
All passes.
Yeah.
Like she's being a bitch on her wedding.

Kiera (23:58):
Oh, well, yeah.
No, if there's any time tofucking leave at the door, it's.
Someone's day.

Isis (24:05):
Well, yeah, like yesterday, me and my sister got into an
argument, but she still showed upat midnight with a cake and flowers
and a balloon, and I made a joke.
I was like, we were just fightinglike, you know, a couple hours ago.
She's like, you're lucky I plannedto do this before the argument.
Yeah,
But my point is,
you being upset with someone on theirbirthday or someone being worried that
they're gonna step on your toes duringtheir birthday ruins a part of their

Kiera (24:28):
birthday.
Yeah.
You might as well notbe there at that point.
Yes.
Like if you really cannot getyour shit together and put on a
happy face and just like get outta

Isis (24:36):
there.
Like, yeah.
And there's like, and this applies likenot just to birthdays, but to weddings, to
engagements, to promotions, to graduation.
Like same thing if you're, if it's yourbirthday and you wanna get absolutely
fucking wasted to where everyone hates youand you're just throwing up everywhere,
this is the only day it's acceptableand the rest of us will shut the fuck

(24:57):
up and deal with the mess that you've
created.

Kiera (25:00):
Mm-hmm.

Isis (25:00):
Pat, you're back and just fucking look at each other and shake our head.
No, it's okay.
And if you have a little bit ofremorse, that's pretty much enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Kiera (25:12):
Princess, I mean, we'll laugh at you
later.
and forever,
but yeah, you know,
obviously cooking the meals,
baking a cake, make 'em a cake, do theirlaundry, clean their room, blow up the
up a balloon, clean
get their car washed.

Isis (25:28):
Get 'em a pedicure.
Get 'em
pedicure.

Kiera (25:32):
Give

Isis (25:32):
a massage.

Kiera (25:33):
Give 'em a massage.

Isis (25:36):
No
L's here.
No.
But now we go into the familyterritory and eventually your
significant other passes your familyor enters the family zone So money,
money,
question mark.
This is where money
no longer becomes relevant.
Um, if you have the money and youwanna buy your family something really
nice.
Absolutely 100%.
I think all of our goals at the end of theday is to buy our parents a house, help

(26:00):
them retirement, do this, buy 'em a car.
But yeah.
I think as when you enter your, a adultadulthood and you have disposable
income, you're like, yeah, I wanna.
Spoil my parents or my family.
But until then,
is
mainly a question mark That kindof just depends on the demographic
you and your family have.
And it more so defaultsstraight to sentimental ideas.

Kiera (26:24):
Yeah.
And also I, would probablynever give money to the
the generation
me.
No.
No.
No.
Like within like your siblings, cousins,
like within your generation of your
family.
Sure.
Maybe
if you
you really want to, I thinkit'll, it would be appreciated.
Right.
But
the the generation above you?

(26:45):
it.
No, I feel like that would,well, you can't give 'em, I feel
feel like an
al Or like, would borderlinebe like disrespectful?

Isis (26:51):
Yeah.
'cause it's also like there'sno amount of money you give 'em.
Can they not have themselves usually?

Kiera (26:58):
I would imagine even their
point of view, it would be awkward,

Isis (27:02):
right?
'cause like, oh, thank you forthe hundred Do like, you would've
to be a huge amount of money.
like a thousand to $10,000 to whereyou're like, this is to go towards
paying off the house in theory.
Like this is just a big amount of moneyfor a big thing that I wanna do for you.
But other than that,if you're gonna spend.

(27:24):
$800 or if that's like what yourbudget ends up being, you might
as well get them a gift in thatrange that they would appreciate.
Yeah.
So only the only reason you'd ever givemoney to someone above your generation
is because it's like for a purpose, likeyour parents, you know, your parents are
10,000 away from paying off the house.
Yeah.

Kiera (27:41):
You can't give, like you can't give thoughtless money.
If there's money involved,then you have, it requires
thought lot and you want a lot.
You want thoughtless gifts.
That's where like flowers come back around

Isis (27:51):
At this point you get maybe better alcohol, probably not even required.
But yeah, if they really like wine,going out of your way to find a wine
that they'd appreciate is probablya low cost, but high appreciation
and just sentimental things.
Getting a family photo.

Kiera (28:11):
My parents actually always liked on like Christmas, getting like coffee beans.
For some reason that's so random.
Like nice coffee beans.
Do they grind their own coffee?
Like from us for some reason.
Like they would even, andwe were like really little.
They would literally like give us money tolike go buy coffee and buy coffee beans.

Isis (28:28):
That's so obscure.
Yeah.
Do they just really like making coffee?

Kiera (28:35):
I mean, not like more than the next

Isis (28:37):
person.
Well, yeah.

Kiera (28:39):
I don't know.
For some reason that wasa big hit for my parents.
That's adorable.
So

Isis (28:43):
would you still get them coffee beans for Christmas?
Yeah, probably.

Kiera (28:48):
Yeah.
if I felt like giving themsomething to unwrap, that would
probably still be a consideration.
Also, just because we did thiskids now, it would be cute.
Super adorable.
'cause yeah, flashback Friday, because Idon't think I've done that in a long time.
So

Isis (29:03):
now you know what you're doing.
Next time I Christmaseverybody's getting coffee.
Coffee.
it's also like the best thingyou can do for a parent or a
grandparent on their birthday iskind of remind them of little u.
for them it really is just another day.
So

Kiera (29:17):
yeah.
and like the most thing thatmeans the most to them is like
sentiment and like your time andattention especially, you probably
don't see them very often anymore.
Of course call them if youdon't like, see them in person.
And then like literally any photos.
not very many people likeprint photos anymore.

(29:38):
And so like printing out photos and likeframing them I think is an amazing gift.
Yeah,

Isis (29:43):
I really wanna start getting into the coffee table.

Kiera (29:48):
Photo books.
Like the books.
Yeah.
Those are really, those are really

Isis (29:51):
cute too.
Well, 'cause I thinkthey're nice to store.
They're nice to set out.
Yeah.
They're not, they're also pretty

Kiera (29:57):
easy to put together.

Isis (29:59):
Yeah.
unlike photo frames, Right.
You only have so much wall.
And also it only looks so good upinto some, like after, otherwise then
you just start looking like you havea collage on your wall that looks
like shit with 80 different frames.
So I think the books are a reallygood, I think those are really good
too for a family to put together.
So like your brothers or your siblingscoming in and giving you photos, the other
parent coming in and giving you photosso you can like, make it a collective

(30:23):
effort also brings sentimental value.
Yeah.
I also feel

Kiera (30:27):
like, at least for me, I obviously really love and appreciate
like my parents, but I rarely I take theopportunity to really tell them that even
though I tell them I love them a lot.
Mm-hmm.
Like, I never usually go any further.
Right.
And so like, I've written cards inthe past, where I was just like

(30:52):
much more like specific about likeappreciation and especially like for
the people who like raised you like.
There's like endless thanks to give there,

Isis (31:02):
you know?
Right.
And like, and they never hear

Kiera (31:04):
it enough.
Yeah, exactly.
And so I think anytime being likeextra, more like detailed about that
stuff also like really means a lot.

Isis (31:13):
Definitely.
All right, moving on.
Let's get into like parties and y'all,we have one very specific rule here.
Just throw the party.
Like there's you throwing a partymakes your birthday and everyone
else's life combined so much easierbecause, so for example, you know how

(31:36):
easy it is for me to tell you happybirthday when I'm in front of you.
Do you know how easy it is forme to feel obligated to give you
something when I have to see youand you're invited me somewhere?
Do you know that you cannot gounrecognized when you throw a party?
So it also helps mediate theproblem of feeling neglected.
Just throw the party.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Also,

Kiera (31:55):
like you're like, even if you think you have like no friends
or like nobody's gonna come like,throw it, do it, do it throw.
I mean, and obviously he doesn't haveto be like a fucking kegger, right?
With like a

Isis (32:13):
million people.
It doesn't have to bethe queen's winter ball.
It

Kiera (32:15):
could literally be, it could be one person with a party hat on

Isis (32:21):
and some muffins like, but also part of it is like, I think one, me and
Kira have just thrown so many thingsthat we are at the point where we
realize three people or 50 people, itliterally, it's not hurting our feelings.
No.
Yeah.
And also, at some point you justhave a good time with who you have
in front of you, and you just haveto be like appreciative and grateful

(32:43):
for what you have in front of you.
But the point is, if you're hindranceof, I'm not throwing a party is I
don't have friends or no one's gonnashow up, you're probably wrong.
Or

Kiera (32:51):
I feel like People have a lot of hesitation and anxiety of like hosting.
Yeah.
Which it's like, I, I mean, I understand,but like, This is a moment to like push
yourself and like this is a moment forgrowth and I'm telling you like do it.
Just do it.
And also it's, and it, at the end ofthe day, even if it goes badly, it's

(33:12):
still like, it's still a learningexperience and it's totally worth it.
Just for your personal likecharacter development, right?
Like if anything,

Isis (33:20):
okay, so I just wanted to bring in here, when do you think
the appropriate, how many daysin advance to invite somebody?
Ooh, because I'm a firm believer, ifyou invite too early, I'm gonna forget.

Kiera (33:29):
I think at least two weeks.
I think two weeks is a good, timeframe.

Isis (33:38):
Well, I was gonna say, you need to touch base every two weeks.
So if you're gonna send in amonth in advance, go for it.
You still have to follow up in twoweeks and then you still have to
follow up again as the day approaches.
Yeah, that's a good point.
So if you do it, so if you're someonewho already feels uncomfortable about
asking people, don't ask them a monthin advance because you're gonna have
to follow up twice from there on.

(33:59):
But if you ask them two weeks inadvance, you just gotta follow up
a few days before, Hey, about toplace my Walmart order for beer.
Can I expect you there, question mark?
Yeah, that's it.

Kiera (34:07):
And I would say if you have plans two weeks out, those plans
like very easily could have alsobeen planned like months out.
Like I feel like you'renot gonna really right.
It's either if is if you're goingout of town, like you probably
know that you're going out of townlike A month at least in advance.
Right.
So they wouldn't be able to go anyways.
I think two weeks is a completely like

Isis (34:28):
appropriate amount of time.
Yeah.
'cause very rarely is theresomething so important.
The only thing that could happen isit's someone else's birthday and now
that person just has to split time.
Which you can do.
Yeah.
Which doesn't own, but other thanbeing outta town knowing Yeah.
A month in advance or threeweeks in next or two, it doesn't
make a difference anyways.
From there, we're also going to talkabout like what kind of parties to throw.
Yeah.
Since it is summertime, it's the biggestpriority is just utilizing what you have.

(34:53):
And what you have is nature.
So keep it simple.
Keep it short.
You can go to do a picnic, go to thepool, go to the beach brunch, barhop,
sit outside on the porch and drink beer.
It literally doesn't matter.
But the thing is, is that you actuallydon't have to be pressed for a setting.
Like if you want a Halloweenparty, you need to have

(35:13):
Halloween party space, you know?
But if you wanna have a party,you can literally just do it
at the park in the summer.
You're not limited to like whatyou can provide in your home.
Which winter birthdays kindof fall into that problem.

Kiera (35:32):
Well you just have, nature is at your disposal.
Yeah.
And lots of public space is great.
It's lot effort for, and then, but also Ifeel like a lot of these things also can
be like, Uh, also for like, are reallygood activities for like smaller groups.

Isis (35:47):
Oh yeah.
Because like brunch obviously smallgroup, small groups, no one wants a

Kiera (35:51):
big group.
Brunch, picnic, small group.
Yep.
Pool.
That can vary.
But like in like beach, you'reprobably, if you're like, if you're
driving anywhere, then smaller groupbecause expecting people to commute
for your birthday is irritating.
Yeah.

Isis (36:07):
And it just takes a lot more, well not that it's irritating,
it just can become inconvenient.
So don't let that hint likestop you from doing it.
'cause Well

Kiera (36:13):
it's just like a lot more like effort and like steps to like coordinate.
Yeah, for

Isis (36:18):
sure.
So, but chaa show moving on.
Um,

Kiera (36:25):
yeah, I mean we don't need to spend too much time on Partay ts the biggest
thing is just do it, and invite doublethe people that you want to show up.
That's a

Isis (36:35):
good rule of thumb.
I agree on that one.

Kiera (36:38):
and it's so not personal when people don't show up.
Not at all.

Isis (36:45):
Well, also it's like you just get into a point where it's just so,
there's so many people that I like whoI've never celebrated their birthday.
Never, never.
Not once.
Is that my fault?
Maybe.
Is it maybe their fault?
'cause they didn't throw a party?
Probably, but yeah, I thinkabout that all the time.
There are people whosebirthdays I've never celebrated.
Yeah.

Kiera (37:03):
Yeah.
Isn't that weird?
Yeah.
I think because it feels weird sometimes.
Like, it feels like alittle selfish almost.
But I literally think like, and also asa kid, most people throw birthday parties.
Like most of the time your parentsjust throw you like a birthday party.
And so, you know, it's very normal forlike, all kids of all genders to, like,

(37:27):
boys and girls both have birthday partiesand then you get into like high school
and then like nobody has a birthday partyanymore except for like that one girl.
And it's like, you know what I mean?
It's like, I don't know,I stopped having parties.
but then like in college I waslike, oh, we're bringing this back.
And honestly, same thingwith the childhood cheese.
Like.
You just bring it back,like, and it's, it's fun.

(37:49):
It's so good.
And also, especially as you get older,like you just have less and less
reasons to like see your friends ever.
And so like, these organizedlike days, like set by God.
Like that's the fricking days, man.
Like, and if you don't snatchthat opportunity, you're

Isis (38:09):
just, you don't optimize.

Kiera (38:10):
Yeah.
You're just never gonna see your friends,

Isis (38:12):
Yeah.
As you get older, the reasons to celebratebecome, that's, like, for example, like
we're really into the housewarming erasof our life because we keep moving and
it's always an excuse and like mm-hmm.
But once you really get older, you'regonna have like, you're gonna buy a house.
Right.
And that's it.
Maybe one more, maybe two more.
Mm-hmm.
Maybe you'll buy three houses in yourlifetime, but like, think about your dad.

(38:34):
Bought that house, still in thathouse, never gonna buy another house.
So he would've had one housewarming party.

Kiera (38:39):
Yeah.
And I feel like once, onceyou have like kids, like your
birthday like goes out the window.

Isis (38:44):
Right.
So now you're celebrating theirbirthday, which Ooh, so fun.
Yeah.
Which is, I think the only time balike children's birthdays are fun
is between the ages of born andlike four when you're just throwing
a party party for your friends.
Yeah.
And the kid is just there,but everyone else is drunk.
Enjoying Yeah.
Just being with their friends, but, right.
You a

Kiera (39:03):
pretty, you don't got a lot, a lot of days to celebrate.
No.
To have parties to see your friends.
So freaking take advantage.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's not selfish

Isis (39:14):
at all.
At all.
I agree.
I agree.

Kiera (39:17):
And hosting is like totally doable, but like you, you are, you're totally
providing something for other people.
Oh yeah.
Like going to someone else'sparty rocks so good because you
don't gotta think about anything,but show up and enjoy yourself.
Like, and also you

Isis (39:34):
also get to a point in your life where like people become more considerate.
So the chance of your shit gettingstolen, the, this chance of your
house getting fucked up, it all isjust, becomes less and less possible.
Um, like when you're in high schooland you throw a party and your
parents don't know and there's abunch of dumb ass high schoolers,
you're like, man, there, someone'sgonna steal my mom's gems and JUULs.

(39:57):
But once you into collegeand kind of therefore after.
Maybe someone's gonna spillsome beer on your carpet.
Well, uh, shouldn't havecarpet made that mistake.

Kiera (40:06):
Oh yeah.
You had a house partywasn't wait with Sandria.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
It was just Sandriacarpet for like a month.
It was just red.

Isis (40:16):
Did you clean it out?
I've never even really paid attention.
I think, I mean, I

Kiera (40:19):
got most of it.
Yeah.
But I was like, Nope.

Isis (40:24):
But see, this wouldn't matter.
The only reason it matters,

Kiera (40:26):
that's Jello shots are the fricking

Isis (40:29):
move.
No mess.
Because they don't move.
They don't, they just wobble.
Wobble.
Well, I was gonna say like,even if they fall on the floor.
Well, I was gonna say like whenI was in my college house and we
fucked up the carpets, I didn't care.
It was in my house.
The only reason that's an issue for youis 'cause you know, it's your house.
In my house, yeah.
But for almost everyone else,it's like me or you know, take

(40:50):
it out, the security deposit.

Kiera (40:52):
Oh, and no, no, no.
Spilling on the carpet istotally not the worst thing.
No, it's still throw the party.
Yeah.
Like, and, and expect thecarpet to get fucked up.
Like Yeah.

Isis (41:01):
That's just, that's just a sign of a good time.
Yeah.
But also you can, but,

Kiera (41:03):
but also, I mean, you can spill spaghetti on your
carpet on a Tuesday night.
So it's like, so

Isis (41:08):
that just, and also I think as time goes on, we are definitely living in
an era of less carpet in living spaces.
Like Yeah.
So,

Kiera (41:16):
well I would in like college apartments especially.

Isis (41:19):
Oh yeah.
No carpet, none of that.
I think they learned the hardway a decade ago and they're
like, why do we keep installing

Kiera (41:25):
carpet?
Yeah.
Vinyl's really cheap.
So,

Isis (41:29):
but anyways, moving on.
so the, the next big topic that Iwanna talk about was like, yeah,
birthday blues can be very terribleand really hard to deal with.
And I think, part of it's justnatural, you know, like, yeah.
It just is what it is.
You have to endure the birthday blues.

Kiera (41:42):
Yeah.
Which it's just because it's like,it just comes from expectations.

Isis (41:46):
Yes.
And so the main thing in that wordis just, well, but Kira doesn't
like to say the B word, but um,she doesn't like the word blues.
Well,

Kiera (41:55):
you can kind of self-sabotage.
Oh, definitely.
Just being like, oh, I'malways sad on my birthday.
Like, you, you're, it is a kind of,it's kind you're setting yourself up.
Failure.
It's

Isis (42:04):
a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes.
And so, like, I think the big thing isone to remember that nothing's personal.
It's not about you.
Like if someone didn't say happy birthday,not personal, if someone didn't, you
know, decorate your bedroom with balloons,not personal, like they were thinking
of other things or they just were, youknow, it's another day for most people.

(42:25):
Yeah.
And then also just to haveregulated expectations.
Also,

Kiera (42:29):
at least for me, other people's birthdays can be like pretty overwhelming.
Because you know, if you, there'sa lot, there's a lot of people in
your life and it's like a lot ofbirthdays and so doing the most for
everyone's birthday is like, impossible.
Like there's just no way.
I feel like for me, like,

Isis (42:50):
and I said that four people a year, and I, and if your birthday falls close
to someone else's birthday, you're just,

Kiera (42:55):
yeah.
S o m.
and also like different years,you're in different places.
Mm-hmm.
so like when you have the, the, thetime and energy, then like, do it.
But it's definitely aseasonal thing for me.
Or like on Christmas my brothers and Ikind of like, we'd like take turns of
like who's doing the most that year.

(43:17):
one person to do like, something likespecial makes it special for everyone.
Right.
And it's not everybody's year every year.
No.

Isis (43:25):
So it's just not possible.
The only person you can really feellike is supposed to do something for
you is maybe your parents, maybe yoursiblings and maybe your significant other.
Yeah.
Other than that.

Kiera (43:38):
Yeah.
And just think about everything thatdoes happen for you is just icing

Isis (43:41):
on the cake.
Yep.
And so like, basically theother thing about like regulated
expectations is like, You alsolike closed mouths, don't get fed.
You must be vocal about whatyou want or what you value.
So like for example, like
I usually have a really good turnouton things that I care about, but it's
because I will speak about it overand over and over again and bring

(44:02):
it up over and over and over again.
Yeah.
No, if

Kiera (44:04):
you're thorough and you like follow up with people,
like that's how you get good.

Isis (44:09):
Well also then you just socially obligate people.
Right?
And they're like,

Kiera (44:14):
yeah.
If you're like showing,expressing how much you, care.
Like, it's just like trying to get a

Isis (44:19):
job.
Like, right.
Well, like my friends, like theywere supposed to come to Sonoma with
us, they chose and they can't come.
Mm-hmm.
So now they're like,we'll take you to dinner.
But if I had never invited them toSonoma, if I didn't act like I cared,
I would never, I probably wouldn'tbe getting dinner outta them either.
Now, am I gonna take them up on dinner?
I don't know.
It depends on how muchenergy I have at that point.
Mm-hmm.
But it just is what it is.

(44:40):
You must be vocal and you, you muststart planting the seeds in the
people's brains that you care about.
So then when the time comes, likethey, because it's also hard to
default to like, what should I do?
What should I do is so difficult.
But if someone reminded you a monthago that they would really like X,
Y, and Z, or they sent you a reel,just defaulting to that, like it

(45:01):
takes away the mental load of like,what should I do for this person?
Right.
Because the mental loadis the hardest part.
That's the mental load is whatstops people from doing things.
Yeah.

Kiera (45:10):
Totally.
Yep.

Isis (45:12):
Yeah.
I would

Kiera (45:12):
say like for your day of like mentality, just being
like calm going into your day.
'cause I would say the least you cando and you can always do for yourself
is try to have a, a peaceful day.
Mm-hmm.
You know, self care being calm.
and also it's gonna like set you up tobe able to like have fun and like the

(45:33):
big blowouts and like, you know, right.
Good times.
And so yeah, focusing on yourlittle pockets of sunshine.
Especially 'cause it's just another day.
You might have work, you mighthave a dentist appointment who, it
might be somebody else's birthday.
Who knows?
You might,

Isis (45:51):
your birthday might be on Christmas.
It might be on Christmas.
I'm sorry for your Christmas birthdays.

Kiera (45:56):
But there'd be a whole host of reasons of why it is hard
for it to be like focused on youor even for you to focus on you.
and you're never gonna have afull day of perfection.

Isis (46:08):
No.
Unless you're going to Disneylandfor the whole day and you show up
at 7:00 AM there's just no way thatyou're gonna have a full day of Right.
Comradery and hazah.
So

Kiera (46:15):
you wanna focus on little pockets of nice little sunrise sprinkles.
Yeah.
So what we like to do, what I like todo is obviously get some nice coffee
that's already like a great start.
Like I'll be a happy camperwith a nice cup of coffee.

Isis (46:37):
Also, like back to like planting seeds yourself.
But like if you wanna go getcoffee and you don't wanna do
it alone, just ask somebody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like it might be annoying that you haveto, but again, it goes back to realistic.
It's just another day for most people.
And so if like, if I wanted to go getcoffee or like, for a year that I'm not
doing a lot like just before work, wakingup and going to get breakfast together.

(46:58):
Yeah.
Could have been a niceway to just start the day.
Something simple, something nice.
Um, I think the other thing, whichis something that I'm just not good
at in general, but like really takinga deep shower, you know, exfoliate.
Oh yeah.
Shave.
Wash your, you wanna feel

Kiera (47:14):
nice, clean.
I even think like working outon your birthday can be nice.
Yeah.
Or like doing some physical activity.
Like all the things that aregonna make you feel good and

Isis (47:26):
because Yeah.
Even if in the moment you hatephysical activity, you're gonna,
you're not gonna be upset.
You did it at the end of it.
So if you're sad, go to the gym.
Yeah.
Go on a walk,

Kiera (47:35):
work it out.
Run.
Mm-hmm.
Punch it back.
Your endorphins a flowing.

Isis (47:40):
Yeah.
Speaking of endorphins,if you need to cry, let it

Kiera (47:44):
out.
Yeah.
Just cry.
Cry bitch.

Isis (47:48):
It should literally just like, once you cry, once you let it out.
Like, have you cried?
No.
I'm hopeful that I won't cry this year.
Yeah.
Um, but I've cried plenty ofyears in the, in the past.
Mm-hmm.
So, like, you know, but what I'msaying is when you accept that you're
gonna cry and you accept that that'sjust what's gonna happen today.
And you do it, you feelso much relief afterwards.

(48:09):
Like once you finally get it out.

Kiera (48:11):
Yeah.
I feel like if I expected tocry though, I feel like I like
wouldn't be able to though.
Like, if I was like, I'm gonna cry today.

Isis (48:20):
No, I just don't know.
I think if you know that you're acry on your birthday kind of girly.
Yeah.

Kiera (48:24):
I always wanna get my nails done.
I feel like I never do get mynails done, but the thought of
a pedicure, like just always, Ialways, every year I think about it.

Isis (48:36):
Hmm.
But that was a seed planted

Kiera (48:40):
yeah, something like that.
Or like a massage.
Those like, um,
what are those?

Isis (48:49):
personal luxury experience.

Kiera (48:51):
Yeah.
Something about beingtouched by a random stranger

Isis (48:58):
rubbed.

Kiera (48:59):
Always eat well, obviously,

Isis (49:02):
especially if you do plan on doing stuff that is crazy later
and eating poorly later, havinga good nutritious meal, a nice
peaceful day, like those thingswill really prepare you to be ready.
Like now that I ate a bunch of cake,I have no desire to eat cake tonight.
So if I knew I was gonna get a wholecake tonight, this cake right now could

Kiera (49:23):
be too much cake day.
Yeah.
I was gonna say, I feel like as I'vegotten older, like prioritizing,
actually having like somethingthat makes you feel good, right?
Eating wise is like very important.
Well, like I, because, because you'relike, if you're like, oh, it's my
birthday, whatever I want and eat, like,so that means eat eating like badly, but
then you just like feel like shit andthen, and then you feel bad and that is

Isis (49:45):
not, yeah.
Like I had a Jimmy John sandwich todayfor lunch, and I was real happy about it.
Like, and it wasn't just a, anysandwich, it was like my diet
friendly sandwich, but it hit so hard.
Mm-hmm.
You know, I could have got salamiand pastrami and whatever, but
I got a Turkey sub with likelight mayo and it was delicious.
And it also made me just likenot feel for the rest of the day.

(50:09):
Yeah.

Kiera (50:10):
Also, like sometimes nice health foods like are expensive, like, like a
juice shot or like a mango or kombucha.
Mangoes aren't that expensive,but like, depends on the season.
But like berries are expensive.
I can't afford berries, but on mybirthday we might be getting some berries.

(50:31):
Don't you don't buy berries?
No, I feel like berries

Isis (50:34):
are as the budget, I do feel like, okay, you're right.
Berries are expensive and during

Kiera (50:38):
I have getting my nails done.
And buying berries is like goals.
They're just so completely out of my mind.
That's so funny.
Like I'll buy frozen berriesbut I just don't even

Isis (50:48):
look at them 'cause Right, I understand that.
'cause there are times where I lookat raspberries and I'm like, no.
Out there strawberries.
No.
Oh my god.
Nice

Kiera (50:55):
cheese.
Nice cheese is expensive.
Expensive.
A nice soft cheese.

Isis (51:01):
But that's the thing.
Cheese is expensive, but youvery rarely eat the entire
block of cheese in one sitting.
No.

Kiera (51:08):
I'm more likely to buy nice cheese in it and berries on a day-to-day basis.

Isis (51:12):
But you also don't eat much.
So a whole thing of berries couldgo to waste if you don't eat 'em.
All right.
Cheese lasts.
Cheese lasts
anyways.
Mm-hmm.
Um, the last thing in this oneis just really to have gratitude.
Yeah.
This goes

Kiera (51:26):
back to just like letting everything be icing on the

Isis (51:28):
cake.
Yeah.
Just being, just beinghappy that you're alive.
Mm-hmm.
Also reflecting on the positive thingsyou've done in a year or trying to
think of what you wanna accomplishthe following year can really help
you feel like my life has meaning.
'cause a lot of this is all like a, notlike a midlife crisis, but it's like, um,

(51:51):
it's a philosophy term and I can'tremember it, but basically like, just
being too aware of your current selfcan in a lot of times can be really
beneficial to you, but on your birthday,being too aware of who you are at that
moment in time can be very depressing.
Yeah.
So take that energy and find a wayto be less depressed next year.
Like

Kiera (52:10):
age, age can be like very tense and like comes with also
a lot of like expectations andyou just don't need to focus on

Isis (52:21):
none of that.
Well, like last night Iwas like, bro, I'm 24.
I might as well be 25 and ifI'm 25, I might as well be 30.
Like what?
Like, I literally remember.
My 21st birthday, like it was yesterday,like I wore this dress in orange.
Mm-hmm.
But at the same time, it's like,you know, GIA put into perspective,
I'm only four adult years old.

(52:43):
Yeah.
That was cute.
Yeah.
Because I was like, what?
And she's like, yeah,because I was like, I'm old.
And she's like, you're only ifyou think about it that way.
Like she's like, don'tthink about it like that.
You're only four adult years old.
I was like, Hmm.
Because I was glad she didn't choose 18.
'cause that would make me six adult yearsold, which would make me really sad.
I think 20 is a good placeto start the adult years.
Mm-hmm.
So Korean.

(53:04):
Yeah.
Also adult years go by so fast.
Oh yeah.
And like I'm like you're saying Oh yeah.
But like, if we're gonna even comparelike when I, when I was your age,
which sounds ridiculous by me sayingit that way, like I literally didn't
realize how fast it was gonna pass.

Kiera (53:22):
Well, I can't believe like I'm going in like my senior year.
Right.
Which, like what?
What?

Isis (53:30):
I just, just seems like you didn't get enough of it.
No.
Like I didn't get enough of beinga college freshman or a college
sophomore or a college junior.
Or a college junior.
Yeah.
And so I'm like worried I'mgonna hit 30 and be like, what?

Kiera (53:43):
What?
I'm sure you will.
No.
I literally like, and

Isis (53:47):
I don't know if that's avoidable.

Kiera (53:49):
It is pretty crazy.
I think about a lot.
I'm like, I'm just gonnawake up and I'm be 40.

Isis (53:54):
Probably like, I believe it now.
Like as of this year, I believepeople wake up and they're like, oh.
Or like when, you know, whenthe old people were, you're
like, oh, how old are you?
And they're like, uh mm.
And they kind of forget.
Mm-hmm.
I understand that now.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Because 23 was safe.
24, I'm out.
I feel like I'm out of the safety zone.
But yeah.

Kiera (54:11):
Can't get too existential.
Take a deep breath.
You'll be fine.

Isis (54:19):
I have a lot of things to still do, I guess.
your birthday is like, youknow, an internal new year.
if you're sad that you're 24 or 28 or37 and you haven't done X, Y, and X, Y,
and Z, like, it's a good time to takethat energy from disappointment mm-hmm.
And like turn it into motivationand really think like,
what do I wanna accomplish?

(54:40):
Realistically this year.
Yeah.
Because when I was 12 I wanted tobe 24, married with three kids,
and that is absolutely unrealistic.
What was 12 year old ISIS thinking?
Yeah, when she made herPinterest wedding board.
I don't know,

Kiera (54:53):
dude.
When I was in sixth grade, we had anassignment of I think it was just,
it was like 10 things about yourself.
But I literally remember sayingthat I wanted 10 kids, which
is just like hilarious now.
I mean, I was 10,

Isis (55:09):
so did I still say things like, I want six kids.
And like the more I say it, themore ridiculous that sounds.
Yeah.
And the older I

Kiera (55:16):
get, the older I wanna have kids and the less of them I

Isis (55:18):
wanna have.
Well, what's crazy is like, Istill, in my head, I'm like,
I'm gonna be a millionaire.
So fucking mad.
And it like, seems like reality.
It still seems possible.
Yeah.
But like six kids nolonger seems possible.
Like unless I adopt themall at the age of 10.
Yeah.

Kiera (55:36):
I mean, who knows?
But, but anyways, yeah.
I'm personally very motivated by age.
Um, which, but this usually like happenslike months, a couple months before my
birthday and I'm like, Ooh, what do Iwant to have accomplished by this age?
And obviously if it's like doable, like

Isis (55:53):
Right, that's when you become more realistic.

Kiera (55:56):
like, you know, I wanted to do standup for the first time.
Before I was 20 and you know, I wantedto get a credit card when I was 18.
And like there's something aboutbeing able to say like, you started
this when you were this age.
Mm-hmm.
That is like nice.

(56:17):
Even so, and that's also like, youknow, you're not accomplishing things,
but you're starting being able to saythat you like started this at this

Isis (56:25):
age.
Well, yeah, like back to the creditcard thing, having gotten a credit
card at 18 is so much more importantthan having gotten a credit card at 23.
Like they're just, even if the 18year old never uses their credit card,
it's just so much better for them.
So it's like, well, yeah.
And then

Kiera (56:43):
you have a credit history.
Well, yeah, but it doesn't even matter.
But then it's like, you alreadyhave a credit card at 23 and Right.
And 21 and 22.
Right.
And probably 24 if you don't wanna havea 23, you also might not have one at 24.

Isis (56:58):
Right.
So, and it's kinda likea driver's license.
Once you get at 16, even ifyou never drive, you got it.
You got, you're done.

Kiera (57:05):
I mean, it's just arbitrary.
Timelines, but just, you know,

Isis (57:10):
well also some of these arbitrary tar timelines help
you accomplish a bigger goal.

Kiera (57:14):
it is motivating for whatever reason, which it's
like, take advantage of that,

Isis (57:18):
Mm-hmm.
So yeah, time to agecan be very motivating.

Kiera (57:23):
Anyways.
Yep.
All right.
Do you wanna, do you wanna, wannathrow in any personal anecdotes?
Birthday girl.

Isis (57:32):
Um,

Kiera (57:34):
any juicy juicers.

Isis (57:36):
I remember one time it was my birthday and we were at Six Flags.
like the waterpark hurricaneHarbor or whatever next to
it in la It went downhill.
I think so, actually itwent really downhill.
We don't have to go into why itwent downhill, but anyways, we
just like, Defaulted to the beach.
Now.
My birthday's July 12th.
Okay.
Oh yeah.
This is not the story.
I thought it was.
But anyways, July 12th, and thewater park's not working out.

(57:58):
Vibes are off, things are icky.
So sunny day, let's go to the beach.
We get to the beach and itis like overcast, like cannot
see your hand in front of you.
Oh.
But I don't know what happened, but meand my friends still had such a good time.
Like just, even though the weather wasshitty, even though it wasn't hot, no
sun to be seen, it was just a good time.

(58:21):
So even like, but, but like, the reasonI bring this up is like, even when
things are going bad, like the reasonthe beginning part of my birthday
went bad, had nothing to do with me.
It wasn't my fault.
I was a victim of circumstances.
And so sometimes just being patient andjust like being present will eventually
turn things all the way around.
Yeah.

(58:41):
But yeah, other than that, Iwould also say like getting into
the what do I want for next year?
I'm kind of just so grateful of likeme, currently one thing I suffer with
is not being present and like my currentexperiences in my current success.
So it's like, you know, all I keeptalking about is like moving out of
Reno and moving to a foreign country.

(59:02):
It's like my most reoccurring topic,but that's also lame simultaneously.
'cause there's nothing I can doto affect that at this point.
Yeah.
Like maybe changing my job means Ican save a little bit more money.
Maybe some, but likegeneral pivoting, nothing.
But you're talking like ayear at least down the road.
Yeah.
And there's nothing I can do currentlythat's gonna significantly impact

(59:26):
that, you know, like just nothing.
So like, what I think in this yearis just kind of just being like awake
and being present for the moments.
Because like, I spent, I went to fivecountries last year, maybe 6, 5, 6.
And I, you know, I went to morecountries last year than some

(59:49):
people go in their entire lives.
Mm-hmm.
I've spent two summers whilein college traveling foreign
countries and it's like, I.
Have actually done a lot ofthings that people dreamed
I got to study abroad twice.
I got to be president of my sorority.
Like in the moments I've actually beenable to do what makes the most sense

(01:00:12):
and like actually like then look backand be like, wow, I did that shit.
But then in the moment I don'tfeel like I did that shit.
'cause I'm constantly lookingfor what can I do next?
So right now I'm in grad school,I'm gonna graduate grad school and
instead of being like, wow, let'senjoy grad school, I'm like, well,
what can I do after grad school?
Yeah.
So it's not till after grad schoolwhere I'm gonna be like, wow, I did that
shit and I should have enjoyed it more.
So I think this year I'm just goingto try and be more present and like

(01:00:38):
what I'm experiencing more so thanwhat I wanna do or what's next.
Because like, I think the proofis in the pudding at this point.
I do what's next.
Like, it just will come'cause it happens, you know?
So I'm over fixing

Kiera (01:00:53):
on it.
like you're gonna get to that and thenstill be thinking about the next thing.
Yes, I do that at all.
If you think about it now you'regonna, that's, it's never gonna

Isis (01:01:03):
change.
And I don't know how to change it.
I'm not even sayingI'm going to change it.
I desire to change it.
Yeah.
So just being actively presentin like what I'm talking about is

Kiera (01:01:12):
gonna have a big effect.
Well, yeah.
It's hard not to justconstantly talk about.
The future, like way beyond.
And so fun.
Yeah.
But it's definitely reallyimportant to slow down like, I
mean a good, and take it in like

Isis (01:01:33):
a good example too is like, you know, we love each other a lot.
We spent, but we didn'tspend a lot of time together.
My last year in college, wespent a good amount of time.
But like you were in your relationshipand like most of your social extra time
went to like prioritized to that socially.
Granted, you're also a sophomore,so new friend group, new situation.
But at that time we weren't reallyable to ex understand like how it was

(01:01:54):
gonna feel when we actually weren'tgonna see each other for a year.
And like now see, Ithought we, I feel like we

Kiera (01:01:59):
did, you did spend good time

Isis (01:02:01):
together.
I mean, I think we did too, but I didn'treally think like, oh no, like, I mean I
have missed out on opportunities with Kirauntil I was gone and the ki opportunities
with KERA were no longer an option.
Then I was like, man, I never wentto Food Truck Friday with Kera, man.
I never got to do this with Kera man.
I never, you know, it's like, that'slike, and I feel like being present
kind of can help you avoid feelinglike, man, I didn't do that well.

(01:02:23):
Yeah,

Kiera (01:02:23):
exactly.
Like what is happening right now andwho are the people that are with me
right now and how can I make it betterand how can I spend it with them?
Yeah.

Isis (01:02:33):
You know?
Yep, yep, yep.
That's all I got for mybirthday, birthday, birthday.
Other than that, I'm, we're goingto Napa where we're going to Sonoma.
So there are people who careabout the difference here.
For those who've never been to either,Napa is bougie and Sonoma is less bougie,
but they're like neighboring cities.

(01:02:54):
But anyways, we're going winetasting and then we're going
to a baseball game in the Bay.
So that will be the lasthurrah for my birthday.
I am doing dinner tonightand yeah, pretty nice, sweet.
Very happy.
Got to capitalize on bothweekends and, mm-hmm.
Just good time.
So go ahead, wrap it up.

Kiera (01:03:09):
All righty.
Well, I think we're just going to leavewith the statements, the sentiments,
just remember, it's just another day.
When in doubt, send a text finally,when in doubt, throw the for party

Isis (01:03:30):
Peace bitches.
All

Kiera (01:03:31):
right.
Peace out homies.
Oops.
Alright.
This is the, uh, this hasbeen crisis with Kira Isis

Isis (01:03:44):
crisis.