With Greg Thomas: 10 Signs of Emotional Intelligence in Action

With Greg Thomas:  10 Signs of Emotional Intelligence in Action.  Third in our series on Emotional Intelligence.  

See all three in this series:

 

10 Signs of Emotional Intelligence in Action

1. You stay calm when stressed

Example: During a tense situation, you take a deep breath and if stressed you suggest taking a brief pause to regroup your thoughts.

2. You don't take things personally

Example: When a coworker or spouse snaps at you, you think, "They're probably having a bad day," instead of feeling hurt or becoming angry.

3. You own your emotions

Example: After snapping at someone, you apologize quickly and own that you acted improperly when upset.

4. You recognize your emotional triggers

Example: You realize you're getting irritated when others interrupt you, and you calmly address it. You patiently ask them to allow you to finish your thoughts without interruption.

5. You know what’s within your control

Example: When your flight is canceled, you rebook calmly and make alternate plans instead of dwelling on the issue or taking your frustration out on others.

6. You learn from personal setbacks

Example: After your business presentation or idea is rejected, you don't stew, but instead analyze the feedback and improve for the next opportunity.

7. You sense others' emotions

Example: You notice a coworker is quieter than they usually are and ask, "Is everything okay?" You recognize when others are down or struggling.

8. You support others without judgment

Example: When a colleague shares a mistake they made, you respond, ”Do you understand what you did wrong? Was a lesson learned?” Upon their acknowledgment you reply, "Everyone messes up - how can I help you fix it?" You want to encourage mistakes to be openly discussed, not hidden.

9. You know when others need space

Example: A family member or co-worker seems upset, and instead of “pushing” them to talk, you say "I'm here when you're ready." You respect their need to privately process their emotions.

10. You help without tearing others down

Example: Instead of saying strongly, "This is wrong," you say, "This part could be improved by doing X or changing Y." You help them to perform better without demeaning them.