June 26, 2024 • 11 mins
In this episode, host Miriam Brown and PA Erin Coppin delve into the complexities of helping children with ADHD tackle their homework. They discuss strategies and routines that can make a significant difference. From setting up consistent homework times to knowing when to be flexible, this discussion offers valuable insights for parents struggling to balance academic responsibilities with their child's unique needs.
Listeners will learn about the importance of organization, managing emotional outbursts, and the delicate balance between academic work and extracurricular activities. This episode also emphasizes the role of parents in supporting their children's confidence and helping them develop successful study habits over the years.
If you find these tips helpful, don't forget to share this episode with others who might benefit. Stay tuned for the next episode, which will focus on collaborating with teachers to enhance your child's educational experience.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I want my kids to learn from the homework that they're doing, and I want them to do it.
But sometimes that is just a difficult task.
And to tell them, OK, go do your homework, it's just it's never going to happen.
Pretty much every evening, a giant chunk of the evening has to be devoted to
homework in order to give my kids enough break in between doing hard things.
(00:24):
Music.
Hello, I'm your host, Miriam Brown. In addition to my teaching certificate,
I have a bachelor's degree in psychology and a master's in curriculum and instruction.
Spent the last decade as a public school teacher, and I want to give you insider
tips on how to help your child do well in a system that might otherwise fail them.
Today, I'm talking with Erin Coppin again about how she helps her ADHD kids with their homework.
(00:49):
This is the third episode in our ADHD series. If you want to go back and listen
to the other episodes about ADHD diagnosis and medication treatment,
you can go ahead and do that.
But you should be okay just to listen to this one first and do the others later.
Music.
(01:14):
So in our first episode in the ADHD series, we talked about some of the symptoms of ADHD.
Inattentiveness, impulsivity, distractibility, and difficulty focusing.
Obviously, if you have a hard time focusing and listening to your teacher,
it will be really hard to get all your work done in school.
In our district, kids in the primary grades aren't given very much homework.
(01:35):
Often just they send home what the kid didn't finish in class.
For most of my students with ADHD, there was a lot of work that they weren't
able to finish in class, so they ended up with a lot more homework than my other students.
That's hard because they'll have a lot more homework, but doing homework is
also twice as hard for a kid with ADHD than a neurotypical student.
The parent is going to need to step in and help them out, and it will be years
(02:00):
before they can do it independently.
By about seventh grade, most kids will be responsible enough to manage their
own homework. But there is a developmental delay for kids with ADHD.
And from my experience, parents will need to be involved for three or four years
beyond that in order for their child to develop successful study habits.
Yeah, I would agree with that. As far as homework and getting things done,
(02:22):
that takes a lot of effort with your kid with ADHD.
I want my kids to learn from the homework that they're doing and I want them
to do it. But sometimes that is just a difficult task.
And to tell them, OK, go do your homework.
It's just it's never going to happen. When my kids are first going into middle
school was when they really start getting a lot of homework.
(02:43):
Pretty much every evening, a giant chunk of the evening has to be devoted to
homework in order to give my kids enough break in between doing hard things.
And then kids with ADHD, oftentimes they're emotional.
They come home from school. They're exhausted.
Their meds are often wearing off. And a lot of times there would be emotional
(03:04):
outbursts that we would spend an hour, hour and a half or more dealing with
the emotional outburst.
And then she's exhausted by that time. And now it's getting close to bedtime
and we have 15 minutes or a half hour to try and do the homework. work.
And so sometimes, no matter what our best efforts were, she still didn't get it all done.
We tried to do our best, tried to communicate with the teachers as best we could
(03:28):
and still hold our kids to, hey, you've got work you got to do.
And unfortunately, it doesn't always come as easy to you.
You're going to have to learn how to work hard and get through this stuff because
they don't just redo the life just because you got ADHD. That's not how the world works.
A lot of the ADHD websites I've seen recommend having a definite routine,
(03:49):
a specific time, and even a specific place that your child does homework every day.
It's very important to be consistent.
And those routines are really, really important for kids with ADHD.
Yeah, I would agree with that. The more that you can be consistent,
here's the time when we do homework so that your child understands and expects this is the routine.
(04:11):
That does help. The other thing that I find when the routine changes up,
that causes them stress as well because they don't know what to expect.
And so I think that's where routines can be really helpful. So I got kind of
confused a little bit in the parenting research.
And one of them talked about how you have to be consistent as a parent.
And then another one talked about how you have to be flexible.
(04:33):
And to me, that's confusing. I would say you have to be bold because all the
time you're trying to develop routines.
I mean, consistency helps the kids to know what to do, when to do things and
helps them make that transition from school to homework and that kind of stuff.
But the more that you do it and are consistent, it does make it easier.
(04:55):
But then again, you have to also recognize when your kid has had enough and
you have to say, OK, we're done for tonight. You know, we're not going to continue
to push and push and push when the rain is fried and they've put in all that
they can do that day. Consistency helps.
But also being willing to be flexible. So just now listening to you,
what I'm hearing is that there was probably never a day where you're like,
(05:17):
we just forgot to think about homework today. Yeah, that's for sure.
Well, there are times my daughter was like, nope, I don't have any.
And we didn't delve deep enough.
Like, let's go through class by class. And at times, that's what you actually
have to do. Okay, what did you do in this class today?
Oh, wait, I do have have homework. So there are definitely times that we didn't
(05:38):
do homework because we didn't know that it existed and then later had to play catch up.
Yeah, playing catch up can be really hard because it's not like the assignments
stop and wait for you to catch up. They just keep going.
And so you're just constantly one step behind.
Staying organized is really important to help them stay caught up.
And organization can be pretty tough for a student with ADHD.
(06:02):
So something that I did with my students who were struggling with their organizational
skills in middle school.
They'd have a whole bunch of different binders or sometimes one big huge binder
and I would give them just a small folder.
They would put all of their pieces of homework that they had to do on the left
side of the small folder and they only take their small folder home.
(06:24):
With my daughter, the way you taught us was one folder and just put everything
from each class that you need to finish in that folder.
And then you go home, finish it, put in the other side and turn it in each class.
That was even too complicated for my daughter. So we basically did that with each class.
So she has like a red folder for say science and a blue folder for math.
(06:46):
And this side is to do, this side is to turn in.
And so she could just grab the folder for that class.
But it did help more to simplify that.
That's a really good point. There are a lot of people that'll give you good
ideas, but you're going to need to tailor them to your own child.
And it's not just remembering what homework to do that's hard for kids.
(07:08):
Sometimes it's hard to just even get started. They'll stare at a blank page
forever because it's overwhelming.
Sometimes I'd let kids stay after school to get caught up, and even in a classroom
with only a few other students, it could be really hard for them to focus.
One thing I found helpful for them was to use a timer.
I'd set it for like 10 minutes and then challenge them to see how much they
could get done in 10 minutes or five minutes for some kids.
(07:31):
And then they would get a break and then I'd start the timer all over.
When they finished a whole assignment, I had this easy button that they got
to push and it would say, that was easy.
And I don't know why that was so motivating, but they loved it.
Do you have any strategies that help your kids?
Things change as far as what strategies we're working in one class may not always
(07:52):
always transition to the next class.
So trying to do everything exactly the same isn't going to work.
And just like any other parenting, you know, when you're parenting little babies
and you finally get the one thing that helps them go to sleep and then a week
later this change. That's a little bit how it seems like with ADHD.
We start to work on one thing and then something else pops up.
I know it can be so frustrating.
You're constantly having to look up new ideas. Luckily, these days we have the
(08:15):
internet and there's a whole lot of ideas out there of what you can do to help
your kid in any specific situation.
But I think it's really important to keep trying. The most important reason
parents need to keep helping their kid to do well academically is that it helps
them feel confident and they don't feel like they're stupid or a failure.
And I think it's extra hard when you have a student with ADHD to make sure that
(08:38):
school isn't bringing them down.
That is so true. And that is a lesson that I've really had to learn as a parent.
So my son doesn't love the academic part of school.
And I'm the parent that tends to ride my kids a little bit more with grades.
And the part of school my son does love, he loves choir and he loves drama and
(09:00):
he wants to be involved with those.
And I at first was looking at those as the luxuries. Those are the electives.
Those are not the important part of school.
And I was starting to use those as a reward.
Like, hey, if you do well in math and English, then you get to participate.
But if you're failing these other classes, you don't get to spend your time
(09:23):
after school being part of the school play. You have to come home and do homework instead.
And this last fall, when my son was in a production of Macbeth, my husband said.
No, we can't treat it like that because that's the thing that he gets excited
about, that he goes to school, be a part of.
And then on top of that, that is part of his education and becoming a well-rounded person.
(09:46):
Being in a play, that's another way of learning and understanding what Shakespeare said.
And he puts the effort in and works hard at these things. There is a lot of value to that.
And the arts are the part where my son feels like he fits in and feels like he can be successful.
And so I've had to rethink my parenting and what I can and can't use as a reward or punishment.
(10:09):
That's a really important thing to keep in mind. There needs to be a balance
between what they have to do and what they like to do.
They have to be able to have time to do those things that motivate them. It's a balance.
So thanks for sharing your ideas with us.
So, helping your child academically will help them feel confident at school.
(10:31):
It will require, however, that you help them with their homework every day for
many years, probably into high school.
Organization and remembering what they're supposed to do is not going to come naturally.
It's important to stay consistent so that they know you are going to expect
them to do their homework.
It's also important to do homework in small, manageable chunks of time and give brain breaks.
(10:53):
Be aware of your child's emotions so that you know when to call it quits.
I hope this episode helped you get a few ideas about how to help your child
get their homework done.
If it did, share it with someone else who might need to hear it.
They can listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Audible, or anywhere you get your podcasts.
The next episode will be about teaming up with teachers to help your child get
(11:13):
the most out of their education. So now it's time to put down your phone.
Music.
I want my kids to learn from the homework that they're doing, and I want them to do it.
But sometimes that is just a difficult task.
And to tell them, OK, go do your homework, it's just it's never going to happen.
Pretty much every evening, a giant chunk of the evening has to be devoted to
homework in order to give my kids enough break in between doing hard things.
(00:24):
Music.
Hello, I'm your host, Miriam Brown. In addition to my teaching certificate,
I have a bachelor's degree in psychology and a master's in curriculum and instruction.
Spent the last decade as a public school teacher, and I want to give you insider
tips on how to help your child do well in a system that might otherwise fail them.
Today, I'm talking with Erin Coppin again about how she helps her ADHD kids with their homework.
(00:49):
This is the third episode in our ADHD series. If you want to go back and listen
to the other episodes about ADHD diagnosis and medication treatment,
you can go ahead and do that.
But you should be okay just to listen to this one first and do the others later.
Music.
(01:14):
So in our first episode in the ADHD series, we talked about some of the symptoms of ADHD.
Inattentiveness, impulsivity, distractibility, and difficulty focusing.
Obviously, if you have a hard time focusing and listening to your teacher,
it will be really hard to get all your work done in school.
In our district, kids in the primary grades aren't given very much homework.
(01:35):
Often just they send home what the kid didn't finish in class.
For most of my students with ADHD, there was a lot of work that they weren't
able to finish in class, so they ended up with a lot more homework than my other students.
That's hard because they'll have a lot more homework, but doing homework is
also twice as hard for a kid with ADHD than a neurotypical student.
The parent is going to need to step in and help them out, and it will be years
(02:00):
before they can do it independently.
By about seventh grade, most kids will be responsible enough to manage their
own homework. But there is a developmental delay for kids with ADHD.
And from my experience, parents will need to be involved for three or four years
beyond that in order for their child to develop successful study habits.
Yeah, I would agree with that. As far as homework and getting things done,
(02:22):
that takes a lot of effort with your kid with ADHD.
I want my kids to learn from the homework that they're doing and I want them
to do it. But sometimes that is just a difficult task.
And to tell them, OK, go do your homework.
It's just it's never going to happen. When my kids are first going into middle
school was when they really start getting a lot of homework.
(02:43):
Pretty much every evening, a giant chunk of the evening has to be devoted to
homework in order to give my kids enough break in between doing hard things.
And then kids with ADHD, oftentimes they're emotional.
They come home from school. They're exhausted.
Their meds are often wearing off. And a lot of times there would be emotional
(03:04):
outbursts that we would spend an hour, hour and a half or more dealing with
the emotional outburst.
And then she's exhausted by that time. And now it's getting close to bedtime
and we have 15 minutes or a half hour to try and do the homework. work.
And so sometimes, no matter what our best efforts were, she still didn't get it all done.
We tried to do our best, tried to communicate with the teachers as best we could
(03:28):
and still hold our kids to, hey, you've got work you got to do.
And unfortunately, it doesn't always come as easy to you.
You're going to have to learn how to work hard and get through this stuff because
they don't just redo the life just because you got ADHD. That's not how the world works.
A lot of the ADHD websites I've seen recommend having a definite routine,
(03:49):
a specific time, and even a specific place that your child does homework every day.
It's very important to be consistent.
And those routines are really, really important for kids with ADHD.
Yeah, I would agree with that. The more that you can be consistent,
here's the time when we do homework so that your child understands and expects this is the routine.
(04:11):
That does help. The other thing that I find when the routine changes up,
that causes them stress as well because they don't know what to expect.
And so I think that's where routines can be really helpful. So I got kind of
confused a little bit in the parenting research.
And one of them talked about how you have to be consistent as a parent.
And then another one talked about how you have to be flexible.
(04:33):
And to me, that's confusing. I would say you have to be bold because all the
time you're trying to develop routines.
I mean, consistency helps the kids to know what to do, when to do things and
helps them make that transition from school to homework and that kind of stuff.
But the more that you do it and are consistent, it does make it easier.
(04:55):
But then again, you have to also recognize when your kid has had enough and
you have to say, OK, we're done for tonight. You know, we're not going to continue
to push and push and push when the rain is fried and they've put in all that
they can do that day. Consistency helps.
But also being willing to be flexible. So just now listening to you,
what I'm hearing is that there was probably never a day where you're like,
(05:17):
we just forgot to think about homework today. Yeah, that's for sure.
Well, there are times my daughter was like, nope, I don't have any.
And we didn't delve deep enough.
Like, let's go through class by class. And at times, that's what you actually
have to do. Okay, what did you do in this class today?
Oh, wait, I do have have homework. So there are definitely times that we didn't
(05:38):
do homework because we didn't know that it existed and then later had to play catch up.
Yeah, playing catch up can be really hard because it's not like the assignments
stop and wait for you to catch up. They just keep going.
And so you're just constantly one step behind.
Staying organized is really important to help them stay caught up.
And organization can be pretty tough for a student with ADHD.
(06:02):
So something that I did with my students who were struggling with their organizational
skills in middle school.
They'd have a whole bunch of different binders or sometimes one big huge binder
and I would give them just a small folder.
They would put all of their pieces of homework that they had to do on the left
side of the small folder and they only take their small folder home.
(06:24):
With my daughter, the way you taught us was one folder and just put everything
from each class that you need to finish in that folder.
And then you go home, finish it, put in the other side and turn it in each class.
That was even too complicated for my daughter. So we basically did that with each class.
So she has like a red folder for say science and a blue folder for math.
(06:46):
And this side is to do, this side is to turn in.
And so she could just grab the folder for that class.
But it did help more to simplify that.
That's a really good point. There are a lot of people that'll give you good
ideas, but you're going to need to tailor them to your own child.
And it's not just remembering what homework to do that's hard for kids.
(07:08):
Sometimes it's hard to just even get started. They'll stare at a blank page
forever because it's overwhelming.
Sometimes I'd let kids stay after school to get caught up, and even in a classroom
with only a few other students, it could be really hard for them to focus.
One thing I found helpful for them was to use a timer.
I'd set it for like 10 minutes and then challenge them to see how much they
could get done in 10 minutes or five minutes for some kids.
(07:31):
And then they would get a break and then I'd start the timer all over.
When they finished a whole assignment, I had this easy button that they got
to push and it would say, that was easy.
And I don't know why that was so motivating, but they loved it.
Do you have any strategies that help your kids?
Things change as far as what strategies we're working in one class may not always
(07:52):
always transition to the next class.
So trying to do everything exactly the same isn't going to work.
And just like any other parenting, you know, when you're parenting little babies
and you finally get the one thing that helps them go to sleep and then a week
later this change. That's a little bit how it seems like with ADHD.
We start to work on one thing and then something else pops up.
I know it can be so frustrating.
You're constantly having to look up new ideas. Luckily, these days we have the
(08:15):
internet and there's a whole lot of ideas out there of what you can do to help
your kid in any specific situation.
But I think it's really important to keep trying. The most important reason
parents need to keep helping their kid to do well academically is that it helps
them feel confident and they don't feel like they're stupid or a failure.
And I think it's extra hard when you have a student with ADHD to make sure that
(08:38):
school isn't bringing them down.
That is so true. And that is a lesson that I've really had to learn as a parent.
So my son doesn't love the academic part of school.
And I'm the parent that tends to ride my kids a little bit more with grades.
And the part of school my son does love, he loves choir and he loves drama and
(09:00):
he wants to be involved with those.
And I at first was looking at those as the luxuries. Those are the electives.
Those are not the important part of school.
And I was starting to use those as a reward.
Like, hey, if you do well in math and English, then you get to participate.
But if you're failing these other classes, you don't get to spend your time
(09:23):
after school being part of the school play. You have to come home and do homework instead.
And this last fall, when my son was in a production of Macbeth, my husband said.
No, we can't treat it like that because that's the thing that he gets excited
about, that he goes to school, be a part of.
And then on top of that, that is part of his education and becoming a well-rounded person.
(09:46):
Being in a play, that's another way of learning and understanding what Shakespeare said.
And he puts the effort in and works hard at these things. There is a lot of value to that.
And the arts are the part where my son feels like he fits in and feels like he can be successful.
And so I've had to rethink my parenting and what I can and can't use as a reward or punishment.
(10:09):
That's a really important thing to keep in mind. There needs to be a balance
between what they have to do and what they like to do.
They have to be able to have time to do those things that motivate them. It's a balance.
So thanks for sharing your ideas with us.
So, helping your child academically will help them feel confident at school.
(10:31):
It will require, however, that you help them with their homework every day for
many years, probably into high school.
Organization and remembering what they're supposed to do is not going to come naturally.
It's important to stay consistent so that they know you are going to expect
them to do their homework.
It's also important to do homework in small, manageable chunks of time and give brain breaks.
(10:53):
Be aware of your child's emotions so that you know when to call it quits.
I hope this episode helped you get a few ideas about how to help your child
get their homework done.
If it did, share it with someone else who might need to hear it.
They can listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Audible, or anywhere you get your podcasts.
The next episode will be about teaming up with teachers to help your child get
(11:13):
the most out of their education. So now it's time to put down your phone.
Music.
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