May 25, 2024 • 56 mins
Welcome to another episode of the Pretty Red Ent Show with Goddess Naquita, where love and light are always in abundance. In this episode, we delve into the true meaning of "keeping it 100." What does it really mean to be completely honest and authentic, not just with others, but with yourself?
Goddess Naquita takes us through a personal journey, sharing stories and experiences that highlight the importance of being true to oneself. She emphasizes that being 100 starts with being honest about where you are in life and what you truly want. If you can't keep it 100 with yourself, how can you expect to be 100 with others?
Through vivid anecdotes, including a poignant tale about a wedding, Naquita illustrates the pitfalls of expecting others to meet you at your level of authenticity when they are not even true to themselves. She discusses the emotional toll of giving your all to relationships that don't reciprocate the same level of honesty and commitment.
As always, Goddess Naquita encourages self-love and self-awareness, urging listeners to surround themselves with people who are equally committed to authenticity. She reminds us that true relationships are built on mutual respect and honesty, and that it's okay to let go of those who can't meet you at 100.
Tune in to this heartfelt episode and take a moment to reflect on your own life. Are you keeping it 100 with yourself and those around you? Share your thoughts and join the conversation on all social media platforms.
Stay tuned, stay authentic, and remember, Goddess Naquita loves you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
Welcome to the pretty red and shyish girl
goddess nikita aka pretty red and
and if nobody
told you they loved you today just know that goddess nikita she loves you
today and i'm sending so much love and light out
to all the lovers okay it's juvenile season baby be
(00:29):
from swaying planes okay i don't
know guys this episode is gonna be called
keeping it 100 like so
many so many times people don't know what this actually means and
what it sounds like and it's so crazy because i
was talking about this on snapchat somebody's like oh you should make
(00:50):
this a episode on the podcast i like the way you said that
like and i feel like you can elaborate more on it so let
me talk to y'all real quick when people say they keep it at 100 I'll be like
do you really like do you really you feel me or do you really you know I'm saying
like people who are like 100 and really believe in like the things that they
(01:13):
do the things that they say like.
The way they move, you're going to know they're 100. You feel me?
I can't be no more than 100 and no more or less than 100. Prime example, right?
You get all these people who do crazy things and say crazy things about you or whatnot.
And mind you, they don't even know if they 100 or not.
(01:36):
Because some people are not able to be honest with they self.
So that means they're not 100 already with they self so if you expect them to
be 100 with you then you are putting something on them that they're not capable of doing okay.
I had to get that out like I would never if I notice a person is not 100 with
(01:58):
their self I would never be upset if they're not 100 with me and people were
like really like no I cannot be upset if they're not 100 with themselves how
can I put that obligation on them if they can't even do it for themselves.
This is kind of like if you're picking a Mortal Kombat character and they say,
oh, this person, you know who they are, is at least 90.
(02:25):
How can I expect them to be 100 if it's only, say they are only capable of being 90?
I will never put an obligation on something that somebody would never be capable of doing.
I only can charge you to the game for who you are.
Okay. Like period point blame.
Guys, I know I came in shooting them bullets real quick, but I had to come in
(02:51):
here and say this because you got to really listen to what people were saying
and how they are moving guys.
Like I'm a person, I pay attention to everything.
I pay attention to the things that you do not say, the things that you say,
and the stuff that's in between.
And I also pay attention to the stuff that you don't know. I view you as naked.
(03:14):
So when you start to hide, I can see under there, like, why do you got all this on?
And that's not 100. Now you about down to 50.
Okay. So first you was at 90. Now you about at 50.
Like you hiding your hand. I don't really deal with people who are not 100 with their self.
Like that that will bother my spirit my soul My mind like i'm just like that's
(03:40):
too much. I can't trust you.
I don't want to be around you We're not going to have a conversation.
I might be cordial, but we will not talk about anything personal with my life
Or anything I might got going on because why would I keep it 100 with you?
You're not even keeping it 100 with yourself Sometimes in order to be 100 you
(04:01):
have to be 100 with yourself.
100 with yourself can be like, where are you at in life? What is it that you really want to do?
If you cannot keep that 100 with you, how are you going to expect me to think that you 100 with me?
Like, no, I can see that you are going through a mental battle or an internal
(04:22):
battle within yourself.
And sometimes people put this obligation on other people.
Prime example, my Virgo moon people they're natural
walking psychologists okay so when
people come up they start talking to them about their problems they give out
some really good advice because this is what they're naturally able to do is
(04:42):
analyze emotions okay they're just they're just really good at it like out of
every zone out of every moon sign Virgo moon sign is very very good at analyzing emotions.
That's what Virgos do. They analyze everything.
So this is their moon sign. They are tapped into their emotions.
(05:03):
And when they're tapped into their emotions, they can analyze it and they can
get over, they can help you do that.
But sometimes it's internal, but once they learn how to cope with the internal,
they actually go out and be, they're able to do it at a better high pace,
but they're able to see their friend's stuff.
And I'm not talking about Virgo suns I'm talking about Virgo moons Two different things, okay.
(05:28):
But guys, like I be listening to people talk so much all the time They're like,
I'm 100 Like I stand on business What business is you standing on that you ain't
standing on with yourself?
If I see that you're not moving You're not jumping for yourself How can I expect you to jump for me?
That's setting up an obligation for one, me to be highly upset at you And two, a waste of time time.
(05:52):
Time, energy, space, and love. Like, I don't have time for that.
I'm telling y'all, sometimes you have to be more about you than you are than
anybody else in this world.
And this is the important time of, like, the life of, are you for you?
Are you standing on you? Or are you not standing on you?
Okay, let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. I'm one of them people that, hey, it is what it is.
(06:17):
It's going to be what it's going to be. It is what it is. and
we cannot do anything other than
that like I'm just gonna let it be let it
be let it be okay I'm just gonna let it be like I don't I don't really have
time for that you don't want to be 100 fine that's great for you but just because
you're not 100 does not mean I'm not gonna be 100 and I think this is the thing
(06:42):
that needs to be talked about okay so shots for her for real I know I came in blazing,
but I was literally talking to a person maybe a few years ago.
One of my exes was talking to me and me and him was talking it out.
Like, I don't know. Like, I guess he had a moment, an epiphany moment.
He was like expressing this love to me. And I was like, I was always 100.
(07:02):
I told you what I wanted, how I wanted it. I gave you my time, which was 100.
I didn't give you 90. I gave you 100%. I showed you what it would be like to
be with me every single day.
Now, what did you show me? And then he was like, well, I was just this bad person.
(07:22):
I didn't give you enough time.
I didn't do what I needed to do for you. Like, I really should have,
like, been there for you. And I see that I messed up, right?
And I was like, well, I was always 100%.
I was always like authentically me. So the fact that you feel like,
okay, you want to come in now, you want to apologize, which is fine.
(07:44):
I'm grateful for that. But if I did my healing work means I already apologized for you. Okay.
I'm just throwing that out there. I'm a person. I do real healing work. I don't play.
And people who know me, who did healing work with me, they be like, that girl don't play.
I do not play when it comes to healing work. I do not play about me,
my emotional state, my mental health, none of that. I don't,
(08:04):
I'm so protective over me, but I'm also so healing and forgiving.
Like I already forgave you, bro. Your forgiveness is extra.
Like I already got the forgiveness. All of that. We'll do it. We'll I'm good.
Now, the problem with this is, is when he was talking, he went through a moment
where he was saying like, well, he could have did better.
And I was like, that's fine. And I don't feel like I did anything wrong.
(08:26):
And he was like, but you did. I said, what did I do wrong?
I gave you my time. That's what you wanted to. I showed you what it was going
to be like being with me, I also like, you know, like I did my one, two step with you.
Like I told you, I showed you everything that who I am and what I want as a,
as me, I showed you who I am as a woman and a woman that wants to be in a relationship.
(08:52):
Cause you got to want to be there. You feel me? Like, Hey, like,
what are you trying to do?
I'm not flowing for no reason where I'm not, I'm not flowing if I don't know
where I'm going to. That's just period.
But it was so crazy that he was just like, I was like, do you expect me to apologize?
I apologize for being me the whole way through. I apologize for showing you
(09:12):
what it would be like to be my man. Because obviously you're not my man.
And so this is a sometimes thing too, guys. Like when you're out here dating,
I want to stress this fact.
When you're dating people, you're inevitably giving them a version.
Of who you are as a person in a relationship to the point where if they like you or not.
(09:37):
Okay. So it's like, what I mean by that is like, when I go out on dates,
when I used to go out on dates, when I, when I used to go out on dates,
I used to sit there with people and I used to be like looking to see like,
okay, can I vibe with this person?
I remember my one friend was like, I gotta be high.
I was like, why are you always going on your dates high? She's like,
(09:57):
Like, cause if I'm, if I'm high and I could be around this person, we gonna vibe.
But if I'm high and I can't be around this person, we ain't gonna vibe.
So I'm not even gonna go there with this person at all.
And I thought about that, like, dang, maybe she is making a little bit sense
when it comes to that, because like, if I can't be around you in my mental state
of how I get down, like personally,
(10:19):
then I don't need to be with you because this is who I am as a person.
I don't want to be anything else other than
the person that I am now so I
don't know I always had a I don't know
I'm always a person where I always
get the rep for what you see is what you get like that's crazy
like I've never met too many people that you know that you talk to
(10:41):
talk you also walk at it like you really walked at
it and I'm like because I'm me I'm not gonna change
me for nobody body I do not care like and
especially like now I really don't care like I
used to care about people feelings and stuff like that like oh I
didn't used to let my spiritual side come out like who I really
am with that part but everything else
(11:02):
is me the only part that's new that people are now seeing is the spiritual part
which was always there I just never really brung only certain people seen that
now everybody see it I don't care because I like this I love the version of
me that is not toned down for nobody.
Like I like me, you know, I'm spiritual. Any conversation might turn spiritual talk.
(11:25):
Any conversation might turn to love talk. Any conversation might be a healing
conversation and I'm okay with that.
So if you want to have a conversation with me, you have to know that I'm willing
to go anywhere in a conversation.
But baby, please remember, I'm on a love frequency.
So guess what? We're going to be on a frequency of love.
So I'm always 100 when it comes to my love. I don't play no games.
(11:48):
I really love me to the point where
I'm able enough to like
love somebody else I'm able enough to
like love to love me in
a position to be soft with it
and not care like I love the fact that I
love so deeply I do not care I like that I talk about my feelings freely I don't
(12:12):
care I love that it makes me happy it brings me so much joy and so I can't accept
anything less than that and I really hope the fact that some of you really don't
accept anything less than that either,
you get what I'm saying like you gotta be 100 with yourself like what is it
that you really want because some people out here they really don't want nothing
(12:34):
at all like and that's what I'll be like don't waste my time baby I gotta make
sure that people not wasting your time I'm even your friends, your family members,
all of them. Don't waste my time. What do you really want?
Sometimes people come and like, what's up? I'm like, what's up?
What do you want? Like, man, you don't never call my phone. What do you want?
Well, I just want to, okay, baby, you want to talk to me. You're going to have
(12:55):
to pay me. Because at this point, I'm not your counselor.
I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a counselor. Yes, but baby, you're going to
have to pay me because you can't keep just calling me dumping all your trauma
on me because I just don't like that.
That's a lot of energy I don't mind giving energy when it's needed But every
single time you call me It's a problem Baby what's up with you being 100?
(13:19):
It's so funny. Like, I just, I can't, I can't get over this.
I heard it the other day on TikTok.
I was scrolling and it was just like, you know, I'm staying on business.
I keep doing 100. Like, are you keeping it 100?
What have you not done for yourself that you should have?
Like, where could you have been honest with yourself a little bit more compared
(13:42):
to what you really wanted to do. A lot of people don't do that.
It's so funny because I was just telling somebody the other day,
I was like, man, I'm so honest with myself.
Like I really be asking those questions that really get on people's nerve.
Like, man, like, but why, why you want to do this? Like I asked those, like, why, why?
(14:03):
And then once I asked like the fifth, why I'm like, all right,
I got the answer for real.
Cause it's like, but I typically don't have to do that.
I'm really so so in tune with me to the point where I just
don't I love me enough for the both
of us and for all of us and I'm just
like some stuff I'm over it some stuff I ain't but some stuff I really be chilling
(14:24):
for real like I really I really be chilling and I don't know like the other
day I heard that somebody said they asked like what's a 100 person somebody
mentioned my name and I was like what.
And I was like What do you mean by that?
And this person Because I got to
call this person a person Because they a person And this person was like.
(14:48):
When it comes to like something that you say, you, you mean that like,
you don't deteriorate from that.
Like, even if it's an opinion you gave, like nobody can make you change your opinion.
They might come with facts and
stuff, which I feel like you're a logical person when it comes to that.
You, you put the logic and the feelings and emotions in it.
(15:11):
And then you make sense of certain
stuff that certain people couldn't see because they're using logic,
but you can use emotions and you
add that combination and that's like that's a
dangerous combination but it's 100 though like and
you stand on that like you always stand on what you
are and the things that you stand by
(15:32):
like I know that if you
don't like because I don't eat ham right so he
was like I know there's a table full of ham I know that you're not
gonna go over there eat no ham and the only only way you eating some ham
is if you dead ass hungry which means that you've
been hungry for 24 hours or more
than that but I can't see you not eating no
(15:54):
ham because you don't eat no ham and I was like facts and
this person was like you taught
me how to really be real in
situations where it could be tough people
don't know that being real in situations where it is tough is the real key to
(16:16):
any relationship any friendship anything that really matters and people be like
what do you mean by that prime example right.
When you're talking about certain things and you're talking about people and
how people move, imagine you moving so foul, you doing me dirty, you bad mouthing me.
(16:38):
You talking about me behind my back. I literally had my peoples, my cousin.
Now, mind you, I've been done got confirmation like maybe seven years before
my cousin told me a certain person was speaking ill on me, right?
But I never bothered because I'ma still be 100 to you.
(17:01):
Like, I don't know what the deal is. You ain't express it to me.
Because every issue I ever had with you, I told you to your face.
It's not that you heard from Sam, Joe, and Billy.
You heard that from me. So that's keeping it 100.
Like, hold on. Like, let me tell you, like, but I was always a person where
if I had an issue, even if I'm out with one of my friends, right?
(17:22):
And I had an issue with something that they did, something they said.
I was never a person to blow up a scene that's just
not my thing even though I'm an Aries it depends on what
they said and what they do is when I will blow up a
scene but if it's some stuff like I can
just haha he he I'm gonna I'm gonna check you
a little bit later I'm gonna talk it I'm me you gotta
check in a little bit later and I like
(17:44):
hey you know what I just didn't like that like let me tell you
and then because a lot of my friends my old friends know that I'm real sensitive
like my old friends know I'm really sensitive my new friends already knew I
was sensitive so but my old friends they they already knew I was sensitive but
sometimes they do certain things
to show off in front of other people I don't never switch up my tempo.
(18:08):
Like baby like this thing sex if
this was sex I switch up a tempo baby all the time but this is not sex this
is real life this is me dealing with someone I have respect if I did something
to you i would hope the fact that you would mention it to me like hey i didn't
like that you did that but if it's at something that at an event or something like i would never,
(18:31):
do that sometimes not unless it depends on what it is like and but now i mentioned
i mentioned him right right then i'm like oh baby we ain't gonna skip this but
you know what i don't want to talk about it i remember a person just calls the
whole scene before my birthday and i'm like Bro, I'm so, listen,
anything that you think You might think that I'm slow But baby,
(18:52):
I'm well seasoned over here, okay?
Well seasoned I'm a little light, but baby, I'm seasoned though So the stuff
that you pulled I'm used to people doing that And I will not let you steal my
joy I don't even want to talk about what we talked about the day before Today, my day,
let me be. Because if it was your day, I wouldn't even talk to you about any
(19:15):
issue that we even had until the very next day. That's the type of person that I am.
I can't expect you to be who I am. I only expect you to be who you are,
truthfully. But it ain't me.
I'm 100. Like, hey, like, I want people to treat me how I treat them.
Like, hey, you know what? It's your day.
(19:38):
We a person's wedding guys like
this is this is some real like let me tell y'all what's
100 for real like this is 100 I
was supposed to be this girl's maid of honor right mind
you everybody there even the
girl's other best friend was like I thought you
(19:58):
was going to be the maid of honor I would be be okay with
not being a maid of honor if it was you like y'all
relationship is beyond this moment
and I was like yeah well I thought I was too but I kind of got shocked when
I wasn't the maid of honor and then you got everybody's family coming in here
so this is 100 I told a person that mind you this is my days when I used to
(20:21):
pop pills and stuff so I'm not gonna lie to y'all some crazy
stuff happened to me. So I'm like, gosh, like I popped a few pills.
I was up for a few days, rolla, rolla, rolla. And I ain't slept in but two days.
So I was up, not gonna lie.
And this is me being all the way real with y'all. So I was up and make a long
story short, somebody, I ended up going out on a date with this guy. Okay.
(20:48):
This guy was, he's been stalking me for like three
months straight like not even stalking me but
just like persistent like I
really want to date you we'll do a woo but I was like you know I got rules I
got standards when it comes to me and guys and this and that and he really with
the he went out his way like he bought me tickets he paid for me to come to
(21:09):
him all of this like some exclusive stuff so I was kind of happy about that mind you.
A girl's wedding was literally supposed
to be like a month or two away I get
a phone call or a text message just saying
hey my wedding's tomorrow what why am I the last person and then I got kicked
(21:30):
out the wedding group because I was like okay well I'm gonna make an honor like
I came in here like we'll do it we'll skip skip skip and I was like oh and to
find out I wasn't I was like Like, okay,
but then I was like, I don't, you know, like, what happened?
Well, you want to, certain people didn't want to wear certain stuff that she wanted.
You know, baby, my toes is pretty. I can, okay, like, my toes is pretty.
(21:55):
They edible. Okay, like, no lie. They real edible.
So making long story short like people was coming for me i came back i served
you know i always do i stand on me when i got to make a long story short i told this person i said,
i don't know if i can make your wedding this
(22:16):
you're putting me in a predicament like i just started i'm about
to this dude just bought me tickets to
where he's at and we're going to a concert like
he's spent some money is not refundable we'll do
a whoop i really wish that you would have told me earlier not saying
that I wasn't gonna come I'm just like you put me in a predicament where that's
(22:36):
not fair to me which it wasn't now the
whole situation was fucked up like and I
have to say it like that I'm so sorry for cussing but it was really messed
up guys for me like as a person you
look at it from my window you'll be like dang I'm like
but everybody else knew that she moved the date
maybe two or three months before I found
(22:56):
out so I'm kind of upset said because why
I gotta be the last person to know I was like all right
cool I was like but I'm still I was like bro I don't really know if
I'm gonna come like let me talk it over with him
but I was still gonna come so I called him he was
like hey she with the game bro like I'm okay with you going to her wedding um
(23:17):
just see me afterwards like a matter of fact what I would do to make it easier
for you I will leave where I'm at and I will come to what's closer to you and
I was like Like, all right, cool.
But I still was trying to spin him. So you don't understand something.
I was really trying to spin him for real.
But I really was going to go to the ticket stuff. But I was really like,
(23:38):
I don't know what I was trying to do.
But I was trying to spin him. But I really, I liked him because I like persistence.
Okay, like you got to, Aries people, we love persistence. We like consistency.
We like to see the effort that you put in to actually be with us, talk with us, all that.
(23:59):
So long story short is i end
up i was looking for a car because this is right right right after
i had like a one of my my moments when
i woke up and i'm like all right i was looking for a car with
so all day long i've been searching for a car because that's why i was up for
two days straight so i popped pills so i could actually find me a car because
i'm like okay my car is not here anymore like i need to find a new car like
(24:22):
i got this money i'm trying to not spend this money i'm trying to get me a new
car. Make a long story short,
I was like, what would make her think? I never said I wasn't coming to the wedding.
I just said, let me call him real quick to have a conversation to tell him like,
you know, like it's your wedding and stuff like that.
Never said that I wasn't going to come. I said I was calling him to have a conversation.
(24:43):
Come to find out, I get there at the time that she tells me that the wedding is starts to take place.
Nobody's there. Mind you, I show up five minutes late and I was like,
wait, sorry, I wasn't dressed.
Dress I had other stuff that I had to do so I wasn't dressed for no wedding
like I came in I was like you know what I'm just gonna come as I go like it
(25:05):
was just the moment where I was not like,
top-notch me I feel like I'm top-notch everybody else you know they love me but so I get there,
mind you nobody's there the person who's supposed to marry them is not even
there so I started to talk to
some security guards I was like hey like my people supposed to be you know,
(25:27):
they're supposed to be getting married right now God's like
what ain't nobody supposed to get married today I was like I got told
there's a wedding here today it's gonna be a wedding here today now mind you
that's what your maid of honor is supposed to be there for your maid of honor
is not even there yet like but I'm here and I'm asking questions like where
is the person that is supposed to be marrying you we'll do a whoop next thing I know is.
(25:52):
Her peoples come in was like hey what's going on it's like nothing
i was like i just got this dude they finna call the people up here to marry
them um because they was finna leave and close this up and i was like no i'm
here for a way and they got me messed up and it was like thank god that you
were here because we all came late okay like i'm like what so i'm like all right cool,
(26:13):
all right cool y'all saying it's all right cool so
i'm like all right next thing i know is her her people's asked me
like so you done made an honor I'm like no
I'm actually not they was like what like her people's
look at me like what I'm like right that's the same thing
I said I was like but hey it's her way I'm a person where hey I ain't finna
ruin your wedding day I'm not about to do that like I'm just not that's not
(26:35):
my cup of tea to be that rude and nasty like this is your day like whoever you
want to walk down the aisle is who you want to walk down the aisle I just know
to where me and you stand at from this point moving on.
Like, I know how this is because we have always talked about me being the maid
of honor of your wedding and now your wedding's here and I'm not.
So I'm like, all right, cool.
(26:55):
But your maid of honor's doing, she should have been doing what I'm doing.
Okay. So you got to pay attention to what I'm doing. So I'm keeping it 100. I'm staying at 100.
Like, okay, like girl, I know I'm supposed to be the maid of honor,
but if I was the maid of honor, you know, I would have been here before you would have been here.
I would have made sure everything was straight before you even got in the building,
which I was was already doing, which was not my job.
Now, I could have played my part and not said anything, not asked any questions.
(27:19):
I could have been like, hey, I'm just here for a wedding.
Okay, there's no wedding today. I could have turned around and walked in my
car and got in my car, right?
But instead, I started asking questions because that's what type of friend I
am. I'm going to still be 100 no matter what.
So we get there, her other best friend show up.
Hey, girl. Hey, it's like, oh, OK, we're ready for you. I'm like,
(27:40):
where is she? Yeah, she always late.
Like I know she's always late. But this is one person that I know that used
to be about like that. It is always like you.
If I can bet a million dollars about somebody that's going to be late,
I will call her. I will win every time.
So make a long story short is she end up coming. And when she see me,
she was shocked to see me.
But mind you, as everybody's starting to walk into this wedding,
(28:02):
everybody has on a particular color.
Color I didn't get told that everybody was supposed to wear the colors of the wedding,
I didn't even know what the colors of the wedding was because our dresses weren't
even the color of what we were doing at this wedding right now
that we had planned and set up so now I'm kind of like okay
so everybody else is dressed like they're here
participating in this wedding but I'm in all black why like
(28:25):
why did I get told to be dressed like you called me to tell
me about a wedding but you didn't call me to say hey I'm telling everybody
to wear this color so make sure you wear this color you didn't call to tell
me that how insulting is that like you
don't care about me as a friend enough to keep it
100 with me like this is what I want you here but please be
in this like that's like you come into a party and
everybody's dressed up but the person who invited you
(28:48):
didn't tell you how to dress and you're like okay well why are
you either overdressed are you underdressed it's insulting
because why did you invite me and not tell me what everything I need to do so
make a the long story short guys because this is this is a real true story like
no no cop no fake thing like in this person if they listen to this they gonna
know it's real and they know it's about them so I'm like all right cool so I'm
(29:12):
sitting there next thing I know is.
Her husband come in and he look at me he's like
sis i'm like what's up bro he's like i'm happy
you here because she was talking hella shit asap like my nigga sat up there
and told me asap he was like she was talking hella shit talking about she don't
understand why you wouldn't be at her wedding we'll do it bro ran it down to
me like but see me and him know each other from different ways of how we just
(29:37):
know each other differently compared to how i know her,
i'm like really he was like nah he's like i told her you was too 100 not to
be here He's like I told her you was To 100 not to be here,
I was like oh okay She look at me she's like dang I didn't think You was gonna
come I said really why would you think I wasn't gonna come bro like you part
of the gang Like you feel me gang gang Like I can't I support you Like you know
(30:02):
like you Like I'm happy I prayed.
I slapped a Prayer down for you To find this man that you've been looking for
You found him after we prayed bro Like, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yes, ma'am, you don't think I was going to be here? Like, there's nobody's speech
at this wedding that is better than mine.
Nobody's. That's why I should have been a maid of honor. Imagine you're a maid of honor speech.
(30:26):
Her speech is like, oh, this is that. I'm like, but we prayed months before
you even met this girl. We prayed for you to meet him, bro. Y'all ain't been a person.
So we prayed. I prayed for that. You prayed for me.
I don't know if it was real or not, but I actually prayed for you. and
we walked and we talked and I prayed so I feel some type of
way that about everything so I mean that's
just being real so make a long story short guys so
(30:49):
I'm crying at the wedding the next
thing I know is like we're taking pictures because now the guy she's waiting
for the photographer to show up the photographer that showed up is my guy though
like he he he must I feel like God and my angels always have somebody around
me if people trying to be funny,
(31:10):
but this particular guy he took me we used to go
to the same college and he took
me on a date before it's really funny but he's like
cool people he seen me he was like what's up with my baby I
was like what's up and then we were starting to
talk about like our college and
different things like that and our degree like because I
(31:30):
think I don't know if he finished and got his degree or not but we
were just talking I was like well I'm happy like you're doing this picture thing
like because it's working for you so he started
taking pictures then I noticed that the pictures that I was
in he made me look good as heck I was like
what oh my gosh I looked so but like he took some pictures of me that like he
(31:51):
just caught moments like because he really liked me like me and him like yeah
but we just went on one date but me and him were cool peoples for real so I
was like all right Very cool.
Because I was telling my people's wedding was, I was like, girl,
you know, you went to school with us. Like, she's like, really? I was like, yes.
I was like, girl, you went to school with us. We'll do a whoop.
(32:11):
Make a long story short, guys.
He comes in, he comes late. So they're waiting. So mind you,
everybody's there is waiting. Now they're waiting on the picture guy to come.
So the picture guy gets there, comes late, takes pictures.
So it comes time for the signing. Cause now she didn't have like a former wedding.
She got married at a courthouse. Right.
(32:32):
So now comes time to sign like,
you know, the little little paper you gotta have a witness she calls this girl
me and her best friend look at each other her best friend walk out heated she's
like i would be i wouldn't be mad if it was you like i don't even know this
girl like why who is she like why is she like you know what that's right you're right,
(32:56):
so i'm like all right so she's like yeah we finna go eat after this i'm like all right fine,
so i waited for her to leave and everything stand on 100 we go stand up there
to take pictures now Now, do have us standing up there to take pictures.
Next thing I know, so it was me, her, and her other best friend.
She's like, I just want y'all to know that y'all both dated the same man.
I'm like, what? Like, why would you say that on your wedding day?
(33:20):
And two, I don't care if we dated the same person.
We ain't dating them at the same time. I don't care.
I'm minding my business right now. I'm here for you.
I counseled a date. I really wanted to go on I really didn't want to come to
the wedding but I came because I support you and I love you I want you to know
(33:42):
that I'm always 100 but I really didn't want to come,
like because it was just off like for me like you didn't tell me anything look
how everybody else is dressed for your wedding but I'm not dressed to match
your wedding like come on now like Like, she going to look at me and say,
I know there's some things that you want to say. I was like, no, it's your day.
(34:07):
I'll talk to you about it a different day, just not today.
And she's like, oh, well, I'm like, no, I don't want to talk about it today.
Like, we will talk about it a different day, but just not today.
Today your day. You a married woman. I'm proud of you.
I'm happy for you. We'll do what we will. So next we go to this place where we supposed to go eat at.
(34:27):
I don't even know the place that was named we
went to go eat at so now I'm sitting there because I
really want to cry right and I'm
also like rolling on a bean so I can't even lie
like I'm rolling rolling so I'm like oh my gosh like I'm sitting there I'm like
man I'm ready to go I'm hungry but I can't eat but I'm in my feelings but I
(34:50):
can't cry it was like I had so many mixed emotions to
the point where like people still kept insulting me.
So we get to, so mind you, I was the last, I was the first person to get at
this courthouse where she were getting married. I was the last person to leave.
The first person there, the last person leave. That was your made-to-honor job. That's not mine.
(35:15):
Why am I doing other people jobs? This is because I'm 100 to me.
I'm not, I ain't got to, I don't care if you ain't 100 to me at all because
she wasn't 100 to me at all.
Okay, she was being funny, all that, mm-hmm, all that, he-he, sneak this and that.
You, you wasn't 100 to me in this situation. I was 100 to you.
(35:35):
So, we get to the thing. I walk in
I'm I'm saying like all right well I'm finna buy
a shot I buy myself a shot by her
shots like I'm only buying shots for the
people house I stayed in which was her husband's mama
her husband and his mama and his mama's girlfriend like I don't know if they
(35:56):
was girlfriends or not but that's the dude that I used to date that's his brother
so I was like I'm buying shots for them So I went and bought shots for them
And I stood there I was like what's going on Why we ain't You know sitting down eating,
Like this table should have been reserved Which it was reserved The problem
is Is that her maid of honor Got there before her And before anybody else And
(36:18):
the table still was not reserved So you mean to tell me That you did not sit down at this table.
Somebody just got married. Nobody else would be able to sit at a table that
was reserved for my, you know, if I was the maid honor, it wouldn't have been me.
So I'm like, what's going on with the table? So I was like, you know what?
I told her straight up. I said it just like this. And I promised to God,
(36:41):
I said it just like this. No cap, no sneak diss or like no shade to her or anything.
I said, bruh, I said, now, if I was your maid of honor, we wouldn't be standing right here right now.
She's like I know I said right So I'm gonna let you deal with your own mess
Until I get tired enough to actually start Speaking up which was true Cause
I'm like alright cool cool cool So girl make a long story short Y'all.
(37:06):
We stood there for about another 35 minutes You know me I'm like I'm ready to go,
But I look over her I see that she a little sad And I'm like you know what I'm
like where's the table That we was supposed to be sitting at so I go up there
I start getting business taking care of I say where's the table we supposed to be sitting at.
They sit over there. So I went over there and stood by the table until these people left.
(37:30):
Next thing I know, the lady looked at me. She's like, it's your name, Nikita?
I was like, yeah. She's like, my name's Mary. Mary with the sticky feet.
Your mama friend. I was like, oh my gosh. I remember you. Hi, Miss Mary.
I was like, y'all. I was like, you know, my people's, because I called her my sister at the time.
I was like, my sister over there, she got married and this was her table and
they gave her table away to y'all. She's like, what? I didn't know that.
(37:53):
She's like, matter of fact, we're trying to get up and leave because other than
that, we would have just sat here talking.
They literally got up, stood up and left. And the lady gave me a hug.
Look at the coincidence of that. Look how the universe works.
What was the universe telling her? What was God even telling her at that time? You feel me?
And I just think about it at a time like this and
(38:15):
I'm like all right so we sit down everybody get their
food I order some food even though I didn't
want to eat I order some food mind you I where I really wanted to sit at was
with her husband and his mama now because I know them more than anybody at this
table I've been knowing them since I was like real young but at different times that she She know them.
(38:38):
But so mind you, I sat down there by her and her maid of honor.
And I was like trying to be nice to the maid of honor. I was like,
how are you doing? Like very rude and nasty to me.
I'm like, what's wrong? What's the issue?
I don't even know you. You don't even know me. What's up?
Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, you know what? You right.
(39:00):
Next thing I noticed, everybody's food came out but mine's.
I was like you know what I don't know if this is God showing me then
when my food came out it was half done I'm like
man I can't even eat this like you know I she know
how picky I am with my food like baby if it ain't done I ain't
eating it so I was already mad like you know what I'm finna
go I love you and I told bro like I love him
(39:20):
too like I'm proud of y'all like y'all both wanted each other y'all
got each other and I'm happy that maybe I was a step through for y'all to get
each each other but I'm ready to go so I literally left and drove in Indiana
to the nap I went to the nap and kicked it with my guy friend like he he was
somewhere deep in Kentucky and he left,
(39:42):
to come over there to Indiana to meet me to hang just to hang out with me and
I was like gosh and I told him what happened he was like dang like he's like
you two 100 for that he was like you
ain't say nothing to her I was like nah because it's her day I am about to ruin her day.
Just to be a jerk like she would have did that to
(40:03):
me though she would have ruined she would have
tried her best to ruin my day but just
because somebody do that to me don't mean I have to do that to them like I'ma
still remain 100 the whole way through so when me and her got a chance to really
talk about things we both cried it out and I was like you know it is what it
is like I feel the way I feel and you can't make me feel any different than that.
(40:29):
I was already feeling this way, but you proved it to me when you got married and that's fine.
And I'm like, I can't take this form of disrespect.
Now, do I forgive myself in this whole situation? Yes.
I overestim my 100. I should have just left. I should have never showed up.
(40:49):
If I already knew that you was acting than funny you was moving
funny I should have never showed up if you
didn't tell me about it when because that's
how I really felt she know this is how I really felt in that
moment I was like bruh she should have told me in advance I would have came
and she would have told me in advance I'm an in advance person I might got other
things going on and I really wanted to go out on this date with this dude he
(41:11):
spent like 700 on these tickets and he ended up finding somebody body by the
grace of God to body stick his foot in.
And then he came and met me and like, I don't know how to.
I'm just all right with that. But I cried my whole way from driving from Cincinnati
to the nap. Took about an hour.
(41:32):
We're going to say it took about an hour and 25 or 40 minutes.
But I'm going to say it took about an hour. And I cried.
Like, you feel me? A lot of people don't know. Like, bro, like I was 100 to
a person that was never 100 to me. How you think I feel right now?
They did not value me as a person. Valued me to even be in a presence.
(41:53):
Didn't even like you know at some
point like if I would have seen somebody even being rude at
my wedding I would have like stop don't do that don't do that on my day you
better talk to this person at my time like if you hear in
my wedding whether y'all like each other or not y'all better speak
because it's my wedding you got me all the way messed up but to actually experience
(42:14):
that was like horrible but I don't I like I don't even feel bad for myself because
that just means that I didn't allow a situation to change me and this is like
the whole purpose of really Telling this story.
It's like no matter what I was always 100 Like i'm not overestimating myself
The problem is is that i've been knew that she was moving the way she did But
(42:37):
to actually experience it at her wedding, I should have never went to her wedding.
No disrespect I was happy that I was there and that maybe I was like her,
you know Her person that she was just happy to see there, but I should have not went to her wedding.
No Funny business. No nothing. It was just like hey, you were already moving
this particular way Why did I have to experience this at your wedding?
(43:00):
So now i'm a laughing stock.
Like, you feel me? Like, why do I have to sit up here and cry that you didn't
treat me right at your wedding?
So I had to experience some things to be able to be comfortable with things
that I'm not able to be comfortable with.
But now I'm more in a different position for myself and even around everything
(43:22):
else I got going on. I'm just like, you know what it is? What it is?
I ain't even mad no more. I'm happy that you're happy that what you did was great.
Like I'm happy that you you got what you
wanted like but I will
not accept that like ever in my life ever
again and I'm okay with that but guys like I will never change who I am to make
(43:47):
somebody else better and I got told her like when me and her did talk I said
now if this was me getting married the tables would have been turned you would
have been throwing chairs at my way you You would have ruined my whole wedding,
but I didn't do that to you because I wouldn't, I wouldn't want you to do that to me.
I treat you the way how I want to be treated, which is be 100 with me, but don't ruin my day.
(44:12):
Like if you didn't want to show up, you shouldn't showed up.
But see, that's the problem with me is that I always showed up for people,
even if I knew that they were, there weren't always that good.
And I'm okay with that guys. like I'm telling you like but the problem
with this is is that you when
you go to do that healing work okay like you
(44:32):
be like you know I'm 100 too much in everybody's life
you're like what what do you mean you
to you to 100 in everybody's life you can never be
more than 100 in somebody's life but you
can't like I feel like I was 100
in people's life who did not deserve that you you
weren't even giving out even 50 you gave
(44:54):
out 10 and I gave out you out 100
baby nah that I'm gonna need change baby you
gonna owe me about 90 so I can't function around people who not giving themselves
100 who not giving everybody 100 around them I can't keep functioning to help
people be successful if they're not doing the same for me if you're not showing
(45:17):
up for me in my life I cannot show up for you in your life,
Like granted I don't did a lot of things for a lot of people In the past and
I don't regret A moment of that But I bet you one thing For sure one thing's
for sure two things are certain They will they will never find a Real friend like me ever again.
And that's okay. And a lot of people are like, yes, I'm cocky with it.
(45:40):
I'm telling you, people I have not been friends with for a very long time,
when I see them again and it comes to speaking, and sometimes people hug me
and they be like, I just want to tell you, like, I'm so sorry I didn't appreciate
you when you were in my life.
Like, I never knew what a real friend was until you came in.
And then once I started experiencing other people, it was just horrible.
(46:02):
And I haven't had that conversation with a few people. But you know what?
I can't keep making excuses for you. You know what it is to be a good friend.
You know exactly what it is, but you know what you chose not to be.
And so that has nothing to do with me. That's a you problem.
So that's something that you have to deal with, something you have to heal,
something that has nothing to do with me. And I'm okay with that.
(46:24):
And so I'm at a point now in life where I'm happy, I'm loved,
and I'm just vibing high and I will not accept anything Anything less than 100
and the less than what I deserve.
Oh, I even noticed you even moving fouls over with.
I even noticed that you even say one thing, bro. And it does not an alignment
to what's really going on. You got to go.
(46:46):
You got to go. You got to go. You got to go. We got to go. We got to go.
You got to go. We got to go. You got to go, baby.
But guys, this is a perfect example of never changing who you are for anybody or any situation.
I'm still going to be me. I don't care if this was somebody's wedding that I
was at. Like, say for instance, right?
(47:06):
Like, if I'm with one of my friends now and they had a wedding,
I would still, even if their maid of honor wasn't doing their job,
I would still be like, hey, my friend just got married. What's going on? What's going on?
Like, I'm ready to sit down. Like, you feel me? I'm ready to drink.
I'm ready to eat. Whatever. Most of the time, I'm ready to eat.
But I don't know. What's going on?
(47:29):
Okay? You need to figure this out before I get mad, real quick.
But guys, for the most part, you got to make sure that you're doing the things
that you need to do for you, yourself, and I.
And being 100 also starts with yourself.
Because I used to give out more than I really gave to myself.
(47:51):
And now it's like it's equally balanced.
And I'm okay with that. I show up for me. I'm honest with me.
I keep it core. Like, hey, now you know you didn't really want to go.
So you shouldn't have went.
And it seemed you didn't go.
None of that experience would have happened to you if that went.
None of that. None of that. You could have skipped that whole experience.
(48:11):
And then you could have been doing what you was doing.
Like, what you end up doing anyways. Anyways, after the wedding,
which was chilling, kicking it, just being spicy, but you could have just did
the same thing that you was already doing.
Like you knew you didn't really want to be there, which technically I did want
to be there, but I didn't want to be there on those terms.
(48:34):
And so that's the thing is about not the, the thing that I have learned and
what I have worked on and what I love about me is I go where I'm celebrated.
I'm go where I'm honored. I go where I know that I'm going to be invited to
something and I know in advance and I'm not the last person to know.
I make sure I tell all my friends, if I got something going on,
(48:55):
baby, you gonna know a few months before it pop off.
Like, hey, this is what's happening here, but I want to let you know this is
what's happening here at this moment for the future moment.
So that way you can be prepared because this is what I like.
I like for people to prepare me. Don't just bring some, I don't mind the spring
going because I'm spontaneous.
I'm an Aries. We love spontaneous Spontaneous things but the problem is is that
(49:17):
when it comes to situations like that now if you were getting married And it
was like a vacation thing.
We were on vacation getting married that spontaneous I'm, okay with attending
that like hey girl you sleep get up. I'm gonna get married.
Okay I'm, okay with that. The problem is is when you invite me you tell me that
your wedding is going to be a different day But then you tell everybody else
That you move the date up and everybody else is dressed like your wedding but
(49:40):
not me That's the problem we're gonna have that's what I cannot accept.
And so I have learned that. But guys, I really want to express to y'all about being 100.
You have to do it with yourself in order to recognize it and to see if other
people are being 100 with you is to inevitably be 100 to yourself.
I was always 100 with myself. I always kept it real. Even when I was in a car
(50:03):
and I was crying, I was like, bruh, I shouldn't have never went.
I would have never experienced this. I said I didn't want to go,
but I already knew what it was. like this person has a habit of making me cry.
This person has a habit of putting me down. Why do I keep doing that?
Why do I keep being 100 to this person and not 100 to me? And that's fine.
And so that's where I have grown at. And that's where I am excelling at. And I love it over here.
(50:28):
But being 100, I'm not changing me for nobody else.
So if you experienced me, you talked to me,
that was because you needed to at that moment you maybe needed to see what a
real friend was like but after that i gots to move on be happy with life and
and be loved and be the representation.
(50:50):
Of what should be the standard model of everything moving forward i'm telling
you even some of my god friends be like bruh you're a really good friend like
and don't accept anything less than that and if anybody playing with you bruh
tell them i'm gonna go completely off because you two You too 100 for people.
You too authentic in the way that you move, the way that you talk.
(51:12):
Every single thing that you do, it's really out of pure love.
And not a lot of people move like that. But you do. And I will never stop doing
that because of somebody else's behavior.
Whatever you got going on deep down in yourself, you continue doing that. You continue to heal.
But I'm not going to sit up there and turn up because you turning up.
(51:34):
I'm just not that person no more. I don't have the time I'm
a person that has to be honest about things I speak truth
But I'm also a person where I've done
a lot for a lot of people And sometimes they
just give out little bits And I was able and willing to accept that Years ago
(51:54):
I'm not willing to accept that now So you either gotta be one-hundred Or nothing
done at all And that's okay And I'm okay with that and I'm okay with departure.
I'm okay with releasing. I'm okay with letting go.
What I'm not okay is accepting anything less than what I deserve because I put in a hundred.
(52:16):
I'm always 100 with myself and I'm a person I'm bold.
I always speak it. So if you're not doing the same thing, I got to cut you off.
It's okay. There's times where I'm like, Hey, you know, if I would have said
something that would have led to something totally different.
So I'm not going to say nothing, but it doesn't mean that I didn't hear it or
I didn't see it. It's just like a whole little...
(52:40):
Thing per se with people, places, and things that I'm just over with.
So do I keep it 100 with myself? Yes.
Like I may want to say like, guys, I was in a space, but I was always in the same space.
Am I the same person as I was that went to that wedding today? Yes.
The same exact person, not nobody different.
(53:03):
I'm just grown, excelled, and I'm able to communicate exactly what I need And
what I'm not willing to accept And I would say I evolved Is a thing that I will say Like yes, I evolved.
But I'm still going to be Any friend that has me in their life Is still going
to receive that same treatment,
(53:24):
No different Like that's just who I am I can't be anybody else other than me
But guys, always keep it real with yourself,
Be real with yourself Core issues issues, but don't allow people,
places, and things to change who you really are.
I'm telling you, I gave you a few situations, a dating situation.
(53:44):
Just because you out here being a hoe does not mean I have to be a hoe.
You got to understand something. Just because you out here thotting and you
bopping and you're used to dealing with those type of women does not mean I'm out here doing that.
I might just literally be talking to one man only, but here you go thinking
I'm talking to 10 million.
That's your own insecurities because that's what you're doing.
(54:05):
But I am not in control of that. And women do the same thing to men.
Men can be busy. They can only talk to one woman.
They probably think they're talking to mass different women.
So you got to make sure that you're, what are you willing to accept?
Like, and what you not willing to accept, baby, if I'm getting 100,
whether or not you 100, I'm still going to be 100 because that is who I am.
(54:31):
That's what I do. This is, I love this. I appreciate this about myself.
I'm just, I vibe high with it. So guys, like take that time out to really just be 100 with yourself.
Like, how can you be more 100 with yourself compared to how you're used to being?
And also like just really taking the time out
(54:52):
to really just love you a moment in peace
and time and space to just love on you and be 100 to yourself and be honest
ask those questions that you really don't want to ask but just like really show
up for you to the point where it's so 100 that it reflects out and people know
that they can't even come play games with you because you do that 100, okay?
(55:15):
So keep it 100, be 100, okay?
But let me know how y'all feel about this episode, okay? Let me know either
on my webpage or hit me up on Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, y'all don't know
all social media platforms, but let me know how you feel about the episode, okay?
Are you 100? Have you been more 100 to people in your life and they have not been that 100 to you?
(55:38):
Then why do you keep showing up for this person who's giving you
50 and you've been giving out 100 you need to
do some reevaluation and see how you
can get exactly what you need you need to be around people who
mimic you who are 102 not mimic you to a t but just who are 102 because that
100 plus 100 makes 200 okay all right guys i love y'all so very much you know
(56:05):
me it's your girl pretty red auntie,
better known as goddess nikita okay let me know how y'all feel about the episode
but please tune in tap in every week to the pretty red ant show.
Welcome to the pretty red and shyish girl
goddess nikita aka pretty red and
and if nobody
told you they loved you today just know that goddess nikita she loves you
today and i'm sending so much love and light out
to all the lovers okay it's juvenile season baby be
(00:29):
from swaying planes okay i don't
know guys this episode is gonna be called
keeping it 100 like so
many so many times people don't know what this actually means and
what it sounds like and it's so crazy because i
was talking about this on snapchat somebody's like oh you should make
(00:50):
this a episode on the podcast i like the way you said that
like and i feel like you can elaborate more on it so let
me talk to y'all real quick when people say they keep it at 100 I'll be like
do you really like do you really you feel me or do you really you know I'm saying
like people who are like 100 and really believe in like the things that they
(01:13):
do the things that they say like.
The way they move, you're going to know they're 100. You feel me?
I can't be no more than 100 and no more or less than 100. Prime example, right?
You get all these people who do crazy things and say crazy things about you or whatnot.
And mind you, they don't even know if they 100 or not.
(01:36):
Because some people are not able to be honest with they self.
So that means they're not 100 already with they self so if you expect them to
be 100 with you then you are putting something on them that they're not capable of doing okay.
I had to get that out like I would never if I notice a person is not 100 with
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their self I would never be upset if they're not 100 with me and people were
like really like no I cannot be upset if they're not 100 with themselves how
can I put that obligation on them if they can't even do it for themselves.
This is kind of like if you're picking a Mortal Kombat character and they say,
oh, this person, you know who they are, is at least 90.
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How can I expect them to be 100 if it's only, say they are only capable of being 90?
I will never put an obligation on something that somebody would never be capable of doing.
I only can charge you to the game for who you are.
Okay. Like period point blame.
Guys, I know I came in shooting them bullets real quick, but I had to come in
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here and say this because you got to really listen to what people were saying
and how they are moving guys.
Like I'm a person, I pay attention to everything.
I pay attention to the things that you do not say, the things that you say,
and the stuff that's in between.
And I also pay attention to the stuff that you don't know. I view you as naked.
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So when you start to hide, I can see under there, like, why do you got all this on?
And that's not 100. Now you about down to 50.
Okay. So first you was at 90. Now you about at 50.
Like you hiding your hand. I don't really deal with people who are not 100 with their self.
Like that that will bother my spirit my soul My mind like i'm just like that's
(03:40):
too much. I can't trust you.
I don't want to be around you We're not going to have a conversation.
I might be cordial, but we will not talk about anything personal with my life
Or anything I might got going on because why would I keep it 100 with you?
You're not even keeping it 100 with yourself Sometimes in order to be 100 you
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have to be 100 with yourself.
100 with yourself can be like, where are you at in life? What is it that you really want to do?
If you cannot keep that 100 with you, how are you going to expect me to think that you 100 with me?
Like, no, I can see that you are going through a mental battle or an internal
(04:22):
battle within yourself.
And sometimes people put this obligation on other people.
Prime example, my Virgo moon people they're natural
walking psychologists okay so when
people come up they start talking to them about their problems they give out
some really good advice because this is what they're naturally able to do is
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analyze emotions okay they're just they're just really good at it like out of
every zone out of every moon sign Virgo moon sign is very very good at analyzing emotions.
That's what Virgos do. They analyze everything.
So this is their moon sign. They are tapped into their emotions.
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And when they're tapped into their emotions, they can analyze it and they can
get over, they can help you do that.
But sometimes it's internal, but once they learn how to cope with the internal,
they actually go out and be, they're able to do it at a better high pace,
but they're able to see their friend's stuff.
And I'm not talking about Virgo suns I'm talking about Virgo moons Two different things, okay.
(05:28):
But guys, like I be listening to people talk so much all the time They're like,
I'm 100 Like I stand on business What business is you standing on that you ain't
standing on with yourself?
If I see that you're not moving You're not jumping for yourself How can I expect you to jump for me?
That's setting up an obligation for one, me to be highly upset at you And two, a waste of time time.
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Time, energy, space, and love. Like, I don't have time for that.
I'm telling y'all, sometimes you have to be more about you than you are than
anybody else in this world.
And this is the important time of, like, the life of, are you for you?
Are you standing on you? Or are you not standing on you?
Okay, let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. I'm one of them people that, hey, it is what it is.
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It's going to be what it's going to be. It is what it is. and
we cannot do anything other than
that like I'm just gonna let it be let it
be let it be okay I'm just gonna let it be like I don't I don't really have
time for that you don't want to be 100 fine that's great for you but just because
you're not 100 does not mean I'm not gonna be 100 and I think this is the thing
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that needs to be talked about okay so shots for her for real I know I came in blazing,
but I was literally talking to a person maybe a few years ago.
One of my exes was talking to me and me and him was talking it out.
Like, I don't know. Like, I guess he had a moment, an epiphany moment.
He was like expressing this love to me. And I was like, I was always 100.
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I told you what I wanted, how I wanted it. I gave you my time, which was 100.
I didn't give you 90. I gave you 100%. I showed you what it would be like to
be with me every single day.
Now, what did you show me? And then he was like, well, I was just this bad person.
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I didn't give you enough time.
I didn't do what I needed to do for you. Like, I really should have,
like, been there for you. And I see that I messed up, right?
And I was like, well, I was always 100%.
I was always like authentically me. So the fact that you feel like,
okay, you want to come in now, you want to apologize, which is fine.
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I'm grateful for that. But if I did my healing work means I already apologized for you. Okay.
I'm just throwing that out there. I'm a person. I do real healing work. I don't play.
And people who know me, who did healing work with me, they be like, that girl don't play.
I do not play when it comes to healing work. I do not play about me,
my emotional state, my mental health, none of that. I don't,
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I'm so protective over me, but I'm also so healing and forgiving.
Like I already forgave you, bro. Your forgiveness is extra.
Like I already got the forgiveness. All of that. We'll do it. We'll I'm good.
Now, the problem with this is, is when he was talking, he went through a moment
where he was saying like, well, he could have did better.
And I was like, that's fine. And I don't feel like I did anything wrong.
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And he was like, but you did. I said, what did I do wrong?
I gave you my time. That's what you wanted to. I showed you what it was going
to be like being with me, I also like, you know, like I did my one, two step with you.
Like I told you, I showed you everything that who I am and what I want as a,
as me, I showed you who I am as a woman and a woman that wants to be in a relationship.
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Cause you got to want to be there. You feel me? Like, Hey, like,
what are you trying to do?
I'm not flowing for no reason where I'm not, I'm not flowing if I don't know
where I'm going to. That's just period.
But it was so crazy that he was just like, I was like, do you expect me to apologize?
I apologize for being me the whole way through. I apologize for showing you
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what it would be like to be my man. Because obviously you're not my man.
And so this is a sometimes thing too, guys. Like when you're out here dating,
I want to stress this fact.
When you're dating people, you're inevitably giving them a version.
Of who you are as a person in a relationship to the point where if they like you or not.
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Okay. So it's like, what I mean by that is like, when I go out on dates,
when I used to go out on dates, when I, when I used to go out on dates,
I used to sit there with people and I used to be like looking to see like,
okay, can I vibe with this person?
I remember my one friend was like, I gotta be high.
I was like, why are you always going on your dates high? She's like,
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Like, cause if I'm, if I'm high and I could be around this person, we gonna vibe.
But if I'm high and I can't be around this person, we ain't gonna vibe.
So I'm not even gonna go there with this person at all.
And I thought about that, like, dang, maybe she is making a little bit sense
when it comes to that, because like, if I can't be around you in my mental state
of how I get down, like personally,
(10:19):
then I don't need to be with you because this is who I am as a person.
I don't want to be anything else other than
the person that I am now so I
don't know I always had a I don't know
I'm always a person where I always
get the rep for what you see is what you get like that's crazy
like I've never met too many people that you know that you talk to
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talk you also walk at it like you really walked at
it and I'm like because I'm me I'm not gonna change
me for nobody body I do not care like and
especially like now I really don't care like I
used to care about people feelings and stuff like that like oh I
didn't used to let my spiritual side come out like who I really
am with that part but everything else
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is me the only part that's new that people are now seeing is the spiritual part
which was always there I just never really brung only certain people seen that
now everybody see it I don't care because I like this I love the version of
me that is not toned down for nobody.
Like I like me, you know, I'm spiritual. Any conversation might turn spiritual talk.
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Any conversation might turn to love talk. Any conversation might be a healing
conversation and I'm okay with that.
So if you want to have a conversation with me, you have to know that I'm willing
to go anywhere in a conversation.
But baby, please remember, I'm on a love frequency.
So guess what? We're going to be on a frequency of love.
So I'm always 100 when it comes to my love. I don't play no games.
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I really love me to the point where
I'm able enough to like
love somebody else I'm able enough to
like love to love me in
a position to be soft with it
and not care like I love the fact that I
love so deeply I do not care I like that I talk about my feelings freely I don't
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care I love that it makes me happy it brings me so much joy and so I can't accept
anything less than that and I really hope the fact that some of you really don't
accept anything less than that either,
you get what I'm saying like you gotta be 100 with yourself like what is it
that you really want because some people out here they really don't want nothing
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at all like and that's what I'll be like don't waste my time baby I gotta make
sure that people not wasting your time I'm even your friends, your family members,
all of them. Don't waste my time. What do you really want?
Sometimes people come and like, what's up? I'm like, what's up?
What do you want? Like, man, you don't never call my phone. What do you want?
Well, I just want to, okay, baby, you want to talk to me. You're going to have
(12:55):
to pay me. Because at this point, I'm not your counselor.
I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a counselor. Yes, but baby, you're going to
have to pay me because you can't keep just calling me dumping all your trauma
on me because I just don't like that.
That's a lot of energy I don't mind giving energy when it's needed But every
single time you call me It's a problem Baby what's up with you being 100?
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It's so funny. Like, I just, I can't, I can't get over this.
I heard it the other day on TikTok.
I was scrolling and it was just like, you know, I'm staying on business.
I keep doing 100. Like, are you keeping it 100?
What have you not done for yourself that you should have?
Like, where could you have been honest with yourself a little bit more compared
(13:42):
to what you really wanted to do. A lot of people don't do that.
It's so funny because I was just telling somebody the other day,
I was like, man, I'm so honest with myself.
Like I really be asking those questions that really get on people's nerve.
Like, man, like, but why, why you want to do this? Like I asked those, like, why, why?
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And then once I asked like the fifth, why I'm like, all right,
I got the answer for real.
Cause it's like, but I typically don't have to do that.
I'm really so so in tune with me to the point where I just
don't I love me enough for the both
of us and for all of us and I'm just
like some stuff I'm over it some stuff I ain't but some stuff I really be chilling
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for real like I really I really be chilling and I don't know like the other
day I heard that somebody said they asked like what's a 100 person somebody
mentioned my name and I was like what.
And I was like What do you mean by that?
And this person Because I got to
call this person a person Because they a person And this person was like.
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When it comes to like something that you say, you, you mean that like,
you don't deteriorate from that.
Like, even if it's an opinion you gave, like nobody can make you change your opinion.
They might come with facts and
stuff, which I feel like you're a logical person when it comes to that.
You, you put the logic and the feelings and emotions in it.
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And then you make sense of certain
stuff that certain people couldn't see because they're using logic,
but you can use emotions and you
add that combination and that's like that's a
dangerous combination but it's 100 though like and
you stand on that like you always stand on what you
are and the things that you stand by
(15:32):
like I know that if you
don't like because I don't eat ham right so he
was like I know there's a table full of ham I know that you're not
gonna go over there eat no ham and the only only way you eating some ham
is if you dead ass hungry which means that you've
been hungry for 24 hours or more
than that but I can't see you not eating no
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ham because you don't eat no ham and I was like facts and
this person was like you taught
me how to really be real in
situations where it could be tough people
don't know that being real in situations where it is tough is the real key to
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any relationship any friendship anything that really matters and people be like
what do you mean by that prime example right.
When you're talking about certain things and you're talking about people and
how people move, imagine you moving so foul, you doing me dirty, you bad mouthing me.
(16:38):
You talking about me behind my back. I literally had my peoples, my cousin.
Now, mind you, I've been done got confirmation like maybe seven years before
my cousin told me a certain person was speaking ill on me, right?
But I never bothered because I'ma still be 100 to you.
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Like, I don't know what the deal is. You ain't express it to me.
Because every issue I ever had with you, I told you to your face.
It's not that you heard from Sam, Joe, and Billy.
You heard that from me. So that's keeping it 100.
Like, hold on. Like, let me tell you, like, but I was always a person where
if I had an issue, even if I'm out with one of my friends, right?
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And I had an issue with something that they did, something they said.
I was never a person to blow up a scene that's just
not my thing even though I'm an Aries it depends on what
they said and what they do is when I will blow up a
scene but if it's some stuff like I can
just haha he he I'm gonna I'm gonna check you
a little bit later I'm gonna talk it I'm me you gotta
check in a little bit later and I like
(17:44):
hey you know what I just didn't like that like let me tell you
and then because a lot of my friends my old friends know that I'm real sensitive
like my old friends know I'm really sensitive my new friends already knew I
was sensitive so but my old friends they they already knew I was sensitive but
sometimes they do certain things
to show off in front of other people I don't never switch up my tempo.
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Like baby like this thing sex if
this was sex I switch up a tempo baby all the time but this is not sex this
is real life this is me dealing with someone I have respect if I did something
to you i would hope the fact that you would mention it to me like hey i didn't
like that you did that but if it's at something that at an event or something like i would never,
(18:31):
do that sometimes not unless it depends on what it is like and but now i mentioned
i mentioned him right right then i'm like oh baby we ain't gonna skip this but
you know what i don't want to talk about it i remember a person just calls the
whole scene before my birthday and i'm like Bro, I'm so, listen,
anything that you think You might think that I'm slow But baby,
(18:52):
I'm well seasoned over here, okay?
Well seasoned I'm a little light, but baby, I'm seasoned though So the stuff
that you pulled I'm used to people doing that And I will not let you steal my
joy I don't even want to talk about what we talked about the day before Today, my day,
let me be. Because if it was your day, I wouldn't even talk to you about any
(19:15):
issue that we even had until the very next day. That's the type of person that I am.
I can't expect you to be who I am. I only expect you to be who you are,
truthfully. But it ain't me.
I'm 100. Like, hey, like, I want people to treat me how I treat them.
Like, hey, you know what? It's your day.
(19:38):
We a person's wedding guys like
this is this is some real like let me tell y'all what's
100 for real like this is 100 I
was supposed to be this girl's maid of honor right mind
you everybody there even the
girl's other best friend was like I thought you
(19:58):
was going to be the maid of honor I would be be okay with
not being a maid of honor if it was you like y'all
relationship is beyond this moment
and I was like yeah well I thought I was too but I kind of got shocked when
I wasn't the maid of honor and then you got everybody's family coming in here
so this is 100 I told a person that mind you this is my days when I used to
(20:21):
pop pills and stuff so I'm not gonna lie to y'all some crazy
stuff happened to me. So I'm like, gosh, like I popped a few pills.
I was up for a few days, rolla, rolla, rolla. And I ain't slept in but two days.
So I was up, not gonna lie.
And this is me being all the way real with y'all. So I was up and make a long
story short, somebody, I ended up going out on a date with this guy. Okay.
(20:48):
This guy was, he's been stalking me for like three
months straight like not even stalking me but
just like persistent like I
really want to date you we'll do a woo but I was like you know I got rules I
got standards when it comes to me and guys and this and that and he really with
the he went out his way like he bought me tickets he paid for me to come to
(21:09):
him all of this like some exclusive stuff so I was kind of happy about that mind you.
A girl's wedding was literally supposed
to be like a month or two away I get
a phone call or a text message just saying
hey my wedding's tomorrow what why am I the last person and then I got kicked
(21:30):
out the wedding group because I was like okay well I'm gonna make an honor like
I came in here like we'll do it we'll skip skip skip and I was like oh and to
find out I wasn't I was like Like, okay,
but then I was like, I don't, you know, like, what happened?
Well, you want to, certain people didn't want to wear certain stuff that she wanted.
You know, baby, my toes is pretty. I can, okay, like, my toes is pretty.
(21:55):
They edible. Okay, like, no lie. They real edible.
So making long story short like people was coming for me i came back i served
you know i always do i stand on me when i got to make a long story short i told this person i said,
i don't know if i can make your wedding this
(22:16):
you're putting me in a predicament like i just started i'm about
to this dude just bought me tickets to
where he's at and we're going to a concert like
he's spent some money is not refundable we'll do
a whoop i really wish that you would have told me earlier not saying
that I wasn't gonna come I'm just like you put me in a predicament where that's
(22:36):
not fair to me which it wasn't now the
whole situation was fucked up like and I
have to say it like that I'm so sorry for cussing but it was really messed
up guys for me like as a person you
look at it from my window you'll be like dang I'm like
but everybody else knew that she moved the date
maybe two or three months before I found
(22:56):
out so I'm kind of upset said because why
I gotta be the last person to know I was like all right
cool I was like but I'm still I was like bro I don't really know if
I'm gonna come like let me talk it over with him
but I was still gonna come so I called him he was
like hey she with the game bro like I'm okay with you going to her wedding um
(23:17):
just see me afterwards like a matter of fact what I would do to make it easier
for you I will leave where I'm at and I will come to what's closer to you and
I was like Like, all right, cool.
But I still was trying to spin him. So you don't understand something.
I was really trying to spin him for real.
But I really was going to go to the ticket stuff. But I was really like,
(23:38):
I don't know what I was trying to do.
But I was trying to spin him. But I really, I liked him because I like persistence.
Okay, like you got to, Aries people, we love persistence. We like consistency.
We like to see the effort that you put in to actually be with us, talk with us, all that.
(23:59):
So long story short is i end
up i was looking for a car because this is right right right after
i had like a one of my my moments when
i woke up and i'm like all right i was looking for a car with
so all day long i've been searching for a car because that's why i was up for
two days straight so i popped pills so i could actually find me a car because
i'm like okay my car is not here anymore like i need to find a new car like
(24:22):
i got this money i'm trying to not spend this money i'm trying to get me a new
car. Make a long story short,
I was like, what would make her think? I never said I wasn't coming to the wedding.
I just said, let me call him real quick to have a conversation to tell him like,
you know, like it's your wedding and stuff like that.
Never said that I wasn't going to come. I said I was calling him to have a conversation.
(24:43):
Come to find out, I get there at the time that she tells me that the wedding is starts to take place.
Nobody's there. Mind you, I show up five minutes late and I was like,
wait, sorry, I wasn't dressed.
Dress I had other stuff that I had to do so I wasn't dressed for no wedding
like I came in I was like you know what I'm just gonna come as I go like it
(25:05):
was just the moment where I was not like,
top-notch me I feel like I'm top-notch everybody else you know they love me but so I get there,
mind you nobody's there the person who's supposed to marry them is not even
there so I started to talk to
some security guards I was like hey like my people supposed to be you know,
(25:27):
they're supposed to be getting married right now God's like
what ain't nobody supposed to get married today I was like I got told
there's a wedding here today it's gonna be a wedding here today now mind you
that's what your maid of honor is supposed to be there for your maid of honor
is not even there yet like but I'm here and I'm asking questions like where
is the person that is supposed to be marrying you we'll do a whoop next thing I know is.
(25:52):
Her peoples come in was like hey what's going on it's like nothing
i was like i just got this dude they finna call the people up here to marry
them um because they was finna leave and close this up and i was like no i'm
here for a way and they got me messed up and it was like thank god that you
were here because we all came late okay like i'm like what so i'm like all right cool,
(26:13):
all right cool y'all saying it's all right cool so
i'm like all right next thing i know is her her people's asked me
like so you done made an honor I'm like no
I'm actually not they was like what like her people's
look at me like what I'm like right that's the same thing
I said I was like but hey it's her way I'm a person where hey I ain't finna
ruin your wedding day I'm not about to do that like I'm just not that's not
(26:35):
my cup of tea to be that rude and nasty like this is your day like whoever you
want to walk down the aisle is who you want to walk down the aisle I just know
to where me and you stand at from this point moving on.
Like, I know how this is because we have always talked about me being the maid
of honor of your wedding and now your wedding's here and I'm not.
So I'm like, all right, cool.
(26:55):
But your maid of honor's doing, she should have been doing what I'm doing.
Okay. So you got to pay attention to what I'm doing. So I'm keeping it 100. I'm staying at 100.
Like, okay, like girl, I know I'm supposed to be the maid of honor,
but if I was the maid of honor, you know, I would have been here before you would have been here.
I would have made sure everything was straight before you even got in the building,
which I was was already doing, which was not my job.
Now, I could have played my part and not said anything, not asked any questions.
(27:19):
I could have been like, hey, I'm just here for a wedding.
Okay, there's no wedding today. I could have turned around and walked in my
car and got in my car, right?
But instead, I started asking questions because that's what type of friend I
am. I'm going to still be 100 no matter what.
So we get there, her other best friend show up.
Hey, girl. Hey, it's like, oh, OK, we're ready for you. I'm like,
(27:40):
where is she? Yeah, she always late.
Like I know she's always late. But this is one person that I know that used
to be about like that. It is always like you.
If I can bet a million dollars about somebody that's going to be late,
I will call her. I will win every time.
So make a long story short is she end up coming. And when she see me,
she was shocked to see me.
But mind you, as everybody's starting to walk into this wedding,
(28:02):
everybody has on a particular color.
Color I didn't get told that everybody was supposed to wear the colors of the wedding,
I didn't even know what the colors of the wedding was because our dresses weren't
even the color of what we were doing at this wedding right now
that we had planned and set up so now I'm kind of like okay
so everybody else is dressed like they're here
participating in this wedding but I'm in all black why like
(28:25):
why did I get told to be dressed like you called me to tell
me about a wedding but you didn't call me to say hey I'm telling everybody
to wear this color so make sure you wear this color you didn't call to tell
me that how insulting is that like you
don't care about me as a friend enough to keep it
100 with me like this is what I want you here but please be
in this like that's like you come into a party and
everybody's dressed up but the person who invited you
(28:48):
didn't tell you how to dress and you're like okay well why are
you either overdressed are you underdressed it's insulting
because why did you invite me and not tell me what everything I need to do so
make a the long story short guys because this is this is a real true story like
no no cop no fake thing like in this person if they listen to this they gonna
know it's real and they know it's about them so I'm like all right cool so I'm
(29:12):
sitting there next thing I know is.
Her husband come in and he look at me he's like
sis i'm like what's up bro he's like i'm happy
you here because she was talking hella shit asap like my nigga sat up there
and told me asap he was like she was talking hella shit talking about she don't
understand why you wouldn't be at her wedding we'll do it bro ran it down to
me like but see me and him know each other from different ways of how we just
(29:37):
know each other differently compared to how i know her,
i'm like really he was like nah he's like i told her you was too 100 not to
be here He's like I told her you was To 100 not to be here,
I was like oh okay She look at me she's like dang I didn't think You was gonna
come I said really why would you think I wasn't gonna come bro like you part
of the gang Like you feel me gang gang Like I can't I support you Like you know
(30:02):
like you Like I'm happy I prayed.
I slapped a Prayer down for you To find this man that you've been looking for
You found him after we prayed bro Like, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yes, ma'am, you don't think I was going to be here? Like, there's nobody's speech
at this wedding that is better than mine.
Nobody's. That's why I should have been a maid of honor. Imagine you're a maid of honor speech.
(30:26):
Her speech is like, oh, this is that. I'm like, but we prayed months before
you even met this girl. We prayed for you to meet him, bro. Y'all ain't been a person.
So we prayed. I prayed for that. You prayed for me.
I don't know if it was real or not, but I actually prayed for you. and
we walked and we talked and I prayed so I feel some type of
way that about everything so I mean that's
just being real so make a long story short guys so
(30:49):
I'm crying at the wedding the next
thing I know is like we're taking pictures because now the guy she's waiting
for the photographer to show up the photographer that showed up is my guy though
like he he he must I feel like God and my angels always have somebody around
me if people trying to be funny,
(31:10):
but this particular guy he took me we used to go
to the same college and he took
me on a date before it's really funny but he's like
cool people he seen me he was like what's up with my baby I
was like what's up and then we were starting to
talk about like our college and
different things like that and our degree like because I
(31:30):
think I don't know if he finished and got his degree or not but we
were just talking I was like well I'm happy like you're doing this picture thing
like because it's working for you so he started
taking pictures then I noticed that the pictures that I was
in he made me look good as heck I was like
what oh my gosh I looked so but like he took some pictures of me that like he
(31:51):
just caught moments like because he really liked me like me and him like yeah
but we just went on one date but me and him were cool peoples for real so I
was like all right Very cool.
Because I was telling my people's wedding was, I was like, girl,
you know, you went to school with us. Like, she's like, really? I was like, yes.
I was like, girl, you went to school with us. We'll do a whoop.
(32:11):
Make a long story short, guys.
He comes in, he comes late. So they're waiting. So mind you,
everybody's there is waiting. Now they're waiting on the picture guy to come.
So the picture guy gets there, comes late, takes pictures.
So it comes time for the signing. Cause now she didn't have like a former wedding.
She got married at a courthouse. Right.
(32:32):
So now comes time to sign like,
you know, the little little paper you gotta have a witness she calls this girl
me and her best friend look at each other her best friend walk out heated she's
like i would be i wouldn't be mad if it was you like i don't even know this
girl like why who is she like why is she like you know what that's right you're right,
(32:56):
so i'm like all right so she's like yeah we finna go eat after this i'm like all right fine,
so i waited for her to leave and everything stand on 100 we go stand up there
to take pictures now Now, do have us standing up there to take pictures.
Next thing I know, so it was me, her, and her other best friend.
She's like, I just want y'all to know that y'all both dated the same man.
I'm like, what? Like, why would you say that on your wedding day?
(33:20):
And two, I don't care if we dated the same person.
We ain't dating them at the same time. I don't care.
I'm minding my business right now. I'm here for you.
I counseled a date. I really wanted to go on I really didn't want to come to
the wedding but I came because I support you and I love you I want you to know
(33:42):
that I'm always 100 but I really didn't want to come,
like because it was just off like for me like you didn't tell me anything look
how everybody else is dressed for your wedding but I'm not dressed to match
your wedding like come on now like Like, she going to look at me and say,
I know there's some things that you want to say. I was like, no, it's your day.
(34:07):
I'll talk to you about it a different day, just not today.
And she's like, oh, well, I'm like, no, I don't want to talk about it today.
Like, we will talk about it a different day, but just not today.
Today your day. You a married woman. I'm proud of you.
I'm happy for you. We'll do what we will. So next we go to this place where we supposed to go eat at.
(34:27):
I don't even know the place that was named we
went to go eat at so now I'm sitting there because I
really want to cry right and I'm
also like rolling on a bean so I can't even lie
like I'm rolling rolling so I'm like oh my gosh like I'm sitting there I'm like
man I'm ready to go I'm hungry but I can't eat but I'm in my feelings but I
(34:50):
can't cry it was like I had so many mixed emotions to
the point where like people still kept insulting me.
So we get to, so mind you, I was the last, I was the first person to get at
this courthouse where she were getting married. I was the last person to leave.
The first person there, the last person leave. That was your made-to-honor job. That's not mine.
(35:15):
Why am I doing other people jobs? This is because I'm 100 to me.
I'm not, I ain't got to, I don't care if you ain't 100 to me at all because
she wasn't 100 to me at all.
Okay, she was being funny, all that, mm-hmm, all that, he-he, sneak this and that.
You, you wasn't 100 to me in this situation. I was 100 to you.
(35:35):
So, we get to the thing. I walk in
I'm I'm saying like all right well I'm finna buy
a shot I buy myself a shot by her
shots like I'm only buying shots for the
people house I stayed in which was her husband's mama
her husband and his mama and his mama's girlfriend like I don't know if they
(35:56):
was girlfriends or not but that's the dude that I used to date that's his brother
so I was like I'm buying shots for them So I went and bought shots for them
And I stood there I was like what's going on Why we ain't You know sitting down eating,
Like this table should have been reserved Which it was reserved The problem
is Is that her maid of honor Got there before her And before anybody else And
(36:18):
the table still was not reserved So you mean to tell me That you did not sit down at this table.
Somebody just got married. Nobody else would be able to sit at a table that
was reserved for my, you know, if I was the maid honor, it wouldn't have been me.
So I'm like, what's going on with the table? So I was like, you know what?
I told her straight up. I said it just like this. And I promised to God,
(36:41):
I said it just like this. No cap, no sneak diss or like no shade to her or anything.
I said, bruh, I said, now, if I was your maid of honor, we wouldn't be standing right here right now.
She's like I know I said right So I'm gonna let you deal with your own mess
Until I get tired enough to actually start Speaking up which was true Cause
I'm like alright cool cool cool So girl make a long story short Y'all.
(37:06):
We stood there for about another 35 minutes You know me I'm like I'm ready to go,
But I look over her I see that she a little sad And I'm like you know what I'm
like where's the table That we was supposed to be sitting at so I go up there
I start getting business taking care of I say where's the table we supposed to be sitting at.
They sit over there. So I went over there and stood by the table until these people left.
(37:30):
Next thing I know, the lady looked at me. She's like, it's your name, Nikita?
I was like, yeah. She's like, my name's Mary. Mary with the sticky feet.
Your mama friend. I was like, oh my gosh. I remember you. Hi, Miss Mary.
I was like, y'all. I was like, you know, my people's, because I called her my sister at the time.
I was like, my sister over there, she got married and this was her table and
they gave her table away to y'all. She's like, what? I didn't know that.
(37:53):
She's like, matter of fact, we're trying to get up and leave because other than
that, we would have just sat here talking.
They literally got up, stood up and left. And the lady gave me a hug.
Look at the coincidence of that. Look how the universe works.
What was the universe telling her? What was God even telling her at that time? You feel me?
And I just think about it at a time like this and
(38:15):
I'm like all right so we sit down everybody get their
food I order some food even though I didn't
want to eat I order some food mind you I where I really wanted to sit at was
with her husband and his mama now because I know them more than anybody at this
table I've been knowing them since I was like real young but at different times that she She know them.
(38:38):
But so mind you, I sat down there by her and her maid of honor.
And I was like trying to be nice to the maid of honor. I was like,
how are you doing? Like very rude and nasty to me.
I'm like, what's wrong? What's the issue?
I don't even know you. You don't even know me. What's up?
Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, you know what? You right.
(39:00):
Next thing I noticed, everybody's food came out but mine's.
I was like you know what I don't know if this is God showing me then
when my food came out it was half done I'm like
man I can't even eat this like you know I she know
how picky I am with my food like baby if it ain't done I ain't
eating it so I was already mad like you know what I'm finna
go I love you and I told bro like I love him
(39:20):
too like I'm proud of y'all like y'all both wanted each other y'all
got each other and I'm happy that maybe I was a step through for y'all to get
each each other but I'm ready to go so I literally left and drove in Indiana
to the nap I went to the nap and kicked it with my guy friend like he he was
somewhere deep in Kentucky and he left,
(39:42):
to come over there to Indiana to meet me to hang just to hang out with me and
I was like gosh and I told him what happened he was like dang like he's like
you two 100 for that he was like you
ain't say nothing to her I was like nah because it's her day I am about to ruin her day.
Just to be a jerk like she would have did that to
(40:03):
me though she would have ruined she would have
tried her best to ruin my day but just
because somebody do that to me don't mean I have to do that to them like I'ma
still remain 100 the whole way through so when me and her got a chance to really
talk about things we both cried it out and I was like you know it is what it
is like I feel the way I feel and you can't make me feel any different than that.
(40:29):
I was already feeling this way, but you proved it to me when you got married and that's fine.
And I'm like, I can't take this form of disrespect.
Now, do I forgive myself in this whole situation? Yes.
I overestim my 100. I should have just left. I should have never showed up.
(40:49):
If I already knew that you was acting than funny you was moving
funny I should have never showed up if you
didn't tell me about it when because that's
how I really felt she know this is how I really felt in that
moment I was like bruh she should have told me in advance I would have came
and she would have told me in advance I'm an in advance person I might got other
things going on and I really wanted to go out on this date with this dude he
(41:11):
spent like 700 on these tickets and he ended up finding somebody body by the
grace of God to body stick his foot in.
And then he came and met me and like, I don't know how to.
I'm just all right with that. But I cried my whole way from driving from Cincinnati
to the nap. Took about an hour.
(41:32):
We're going to say it took about an hour and 25 or 40 minutes.
But I'm going to say it took about an hour. And I cried.
Like, you feel me? A lot of people don't know. Like, bro, like I was 100 to
a person that was never 100 to me. How you think I feel right now?
They did not value me as a person. Valued me to even be in a presence.
(41:53):
Didn't even like you know at some
point like if I would have seen somebody even being rude at
my wedding I would have like stop don't do that don't do that on my day you
better talk to this person at my time like if you hear in
my wedding whether y'all like each other or not y'all better speak
because it's my wedding you got me all the way messed up but to actually experience
(42:14):
that was like horrible but I don't I like I don't even feel bad for myself because
that just means that I didn't allow a situation to change me and this is like
the whole purpose of really Telling this story.
It's like no matter what I was always 100 Like i'm not overestimating myself
The problem is is that i've been knew that she was moving the way she did But
(42:37):
to actually experience it at her wedding, I should have never went to her wedding.
No disrespect I was happy that I was there and that maybe I was like her,
you know Her person that she was just happy to see there, but I should have not went to her wedding.
No Funny business. No nothing. It was just like hey, you were already moving
this particular way Why did I have to experience this at your wedding?
(43:00):
So now i'm a laughing stock.
Like, you feel me? Like, why do I have to sit up here and cry that you didn't
treat me right at your wedding?
So I had to experience some things to be able to be comfortable with things
that I'm not able to be comfortable with.
But now I'm more in a different position for myself and even around everything
(43:22):
else I got going on. I'm just like, you know what it is? What it is?
I ain't even mad no more. I'm happy that you're happy that what you did was great.
Like I'm happy that you you got what you
wanted like but I will
not accept that like ever in my life ever
again and I'm okay with that but guys like I will never change who I am to make
(43:47):
somebody else better and I got told her like when me and her did talk I said
now if this was me getting married the tables would have been turned you would
have been throwing chairs at my way you You would have ruined my whole wedding,
but I didn't do that to you because I wouldn't, I wouldn't want you to do that to me.
I treat you the way how I want to be treated, which is be 100 with me, but don't ruin my day.
(44:12):
Like if you didn't want to show up, you shouldn't showed up.
But see, that's the problem with me is that I always showed up for people,
even if I knew that they were, there weren't always that good.
And I'm okay with that guys. like I'm telling you like but the problem
with this is is that you when
you go to do that healing work okay like you
(44:32):
be like you know I'm 100 too much in everybody's life
you're like what what do you mean you
to you to 100 in everybody's life you can never be
more than 100 in somebody's life but you
can't like I feel like I was 100
in people's life who did not deserve that you you
weren't even giving out even 50 you gave
(44:54):
out 10 and I gave out you out 100
baby nah that I'm gonna need change baby you
gonna owe me about 90 so I can't function around people who not giving themselves
100 who not giving everybody 100 around them I can't keep functioning to help
people be successful if they're not doing the same for me if you're not showing
(45:17):
up for me in my life I cannot show up for you in your life,
Like granted I don't did a lot of things for a lot of people In the past and
I don't regret A moment of that But I bet you one thing For sure one thing's
for sure two things are certain They will they will never find a Real friend like me ever again.
And that's okay. And a lot of people are like, yes, I'm cocky with it.
(45:40):
I'm telling you, people I have not been friends with for a very long time,
when I see them again and it comes to speaking, and sometimes people hug me
and they be like, I just want to tell you, like, I'm so sorry I didn't appreciate
you when you were in my life.
Like, I never knew what a real friend was until you came in.
And then once I started experiencing other people, it was just horrible.
(46:02):
And I haven't had that conversation with a few people. But you know what?
I can't keep making excuses for you. You know what it is to be a good friend.
You know exactly what it is, but you know what you chose not to be.
And so that has nothing to do with me. That's a you problem.
So that's something that you have to deal with, something you have to heal,
something that has nothing to do with me. And I'm okay with that.
(46:24):
And so I'm at a point now in life where I'm happy, I'm loved,
and I'm just vibing high and I will not accept anything Anything less than 100
and the less than what I deserve.
Oh, I even noticed you even moving fouls over with.
I even noticed that you even say one thing, bro. And it does not an alignment
to what's really going on. You got to go.
(46:46):
You got to go. You got to go. You got to go. We got to go. We got to go.
You got to go. We got to go. You got to go, baby.
But guys, this is a perfect example of never changing who you are for anybody or any situation.
I'm still going to be me. I don't care if this was somebody's wedding that I
was at. Like, say for instance, right?
(47:06):
Like, if I'm with one of my friends now and they had a wedding,
I would still, even if their maid of honor wasn't doing their job,
I would still be like, hey, my friend just got married. What's going on? What's going on?
Like, I'm ready to sit down. Like, you feel me? I'm ready to drink.
I'm ready to eat. Whatever. Most of the time, I'm ready to eat.
But I don't know. What's going on?
(47:29):
Okay? You need to figure this out before I get mad, real quick.
But guys, for the most part, you got to make sure that you're doing the things
that you need to do for you, yourself, and I.
And being 100 also starts with yourself.
Because I used to give out more than I really gave to myself.
(47:51):
And now it's like it's equally balanced.
And I'm okay with that. I show up for me. I'm honest with me.
I keep it core. Like, hey, now you know you didn't really want to go.
So you shouldn't have went.
And it seemed you didn't go.
None of that experience would have happened to you if that went.
None of that. None of that. You could have skipped that whole experience.
(48:11):
And then you could have been doing what you was doing.
Like, what you end up doing anyways. Anyways, after the wedding,
which was chilling, kicking it, just being spicy, but you could have just did
the same thing that you was already doing.
Like you knew you didn't really want to be there, which technically I did want
to be there, but I didn't want to be there on those terms.
(48:34):
And so that's the thing is about not the, the thing that I have learned and
what I have worked on and what I love about me is I go where I'm celebrated.
I'm go where I'm honored. I go where I know that I'm going to be invited to
something and I know in advance and I'm not the last person to know.
I make sure I tell all my friends, if I got something going on,
(48:55):
baby, you gonna know a few months before it pop off.
Like, hey, this is what's happening here, but I want to let you know this is
what's happening here at this moment for the future moment.
So that way you can be prepared because this is what I like.
I like for people to prepare me. Don't just bring some, I don't mind the spring
going because I'm spontaneous.
I'm an Aries. We love spontaneous Spontaneous things but the problem is is that
(49:17):
when it comes to situations like that now if you were getting married And it
was like a vacation thing.
We were on vacation getting married that spontaneous I'm, okay with attending
that like hey girl you sleep get up. I'm gonna get married.
Okay I'm, okay with that. The problem is is when you invite me you tell me that
your wedding is going to be a different day But then you tell everybody else
That you move the date up and everybody else is dressed like your wedding but
(49:40):
not me That's the problem we're gonna have that's what I cannot accept.
And so I have learned that. But guys, I really want to express to y'all about being 100.
You have to do it with yourself in order to recognize it and to see if other
people are being 100 with you is to inevitably be 100 to yourself.
I was always 100 with myself. I always kept it real. Even when I was in a car
(50:03):
and I was crying, I was like, bruh, I shouldn't have never went.
I would have never experienced this. I said I didn't want to go,
but I already knew what it was. like this person has a habit of making me cry.
This person has a habit of putting me down. Why do I keep doing that?
Why do I keep being 100 to this person and not 100 to me? And that's fine.
And so that's where I have grown at. And that's where I am excelling at. And I love it over here.
(50:28):
But being 100, I'm not changing me for nobody else.
So if you experienced me, you talked to me,
that was because you needed to at that moment you maybe needed to see what a
real friend was like but after that i gots to move on be happy with life and
and be loved and be the representation.
(50:50):
Of what should be the standard model of everything moving forward i'm telling
you even some of my god friends be like bruh you're a really good friend like
and don't accept anything less than that and if anybody playing with you bruh
tell them i'm gonna go completely off because you two You too 100 for people.
You too authentic in the way that you move, the way that you talk.
(51:12):
Every single thing that you do, it's really out of pure love.
And not a lot of people move like that. But you do. And I will never stop doing
that because of somebody else's behavior.
Whatever you got going on deep down in yourself, you continue doing that. You continue to heal.
But I'm not going to sit up there and turn up because you turning up.
(51:34):
I'm just not that person no more. I don't have the time I'm
a person that has to be honest about things I speak truth
But I'm also a person where I've done
a lot for a lot of people And sometimes they
just give out little bits And I was able and willing to accept that Years ago
(51:54):
I'm not willing to accept that now So you either gotta be one-hundred Or nothing
done at all And that's okay And I'm okay with that and I'm okay with departure.
I'm okay with releasing. I'm okay with letting go.
What I'm not okay is accepting anything less than what I deserve because I put in a hundred.
(52:16):
I'm always 100 with myself and I'm a person I'm bold.
I always speak it. So if you're not doing the same thing, I got to cut you off.
It's okay. There's times where I'm like, Hey, you know, if I would have said
something that would have led to something totally different.
So I'm not going to say nothing, but it doesn't mean that I didn't hear it or
I didn't see it. It's just like a whole little...
(52:40):
Thing per se with people, places, and things that I'm just over with.
So do I keep it 100 with myself? Yes.
Like I may want to say like, guys, I was in a space, but I was always in the same space.
Am I the same person as I was that went to that wedding today? Yes.
The same exact person, not nobody different.
(53:03):
I'm just grown, excelled, and I'm able to communicate exactly what I need And
what I'm not willing to accept And I would say I evolved Is a thing that I will say Like yes, I evolved.
But I'm still going to be Any friend that has me in their life Is still going
to receive that same treatment,
(53:24):
No different Like that's just who I am I can't be anybody else other than me
But guys, always keep it real with yourself,
Be real with yourself Core issues issues, but don't allow people,
places, and things to change who you really are.
I'm telling you, I gave you a few situations, a dating situation.
(53:44):
Just because you out here being a hoe does not mean I have to be a hoe.
You got to understand something. Just because you out here thotting and you
bopping and you're used to dealing with those type of women does not mean I'm out here doing that.
I might just literally be talking to one man only, but here you go thinking
I'm talking to 10 million.
That's your own insecurities because that's what you're doing.
(54:05):
But I am not in control of that. And women do the same thing to men.
Men can be busy. They can only talk to one woman.
They probably think they're talking to mass different women.
So you got to make sure that you're, what are you willing to accept?
Like, and what you not willing to accept, baby, if I'm getting 100,
whether or not you 100, I'm still going to be 100 because that is who I am.
(54:31):
That's what I do. This is, I love this. I appreciate this about myself.
I'm just, I vibe high with it. So guys, like take that time out to really just be 100 with yourself.
Like, how can you be more 100 with yourself compared to how you're used to being?
And also like just really taking the time out
(54:52):
to really just love you a moment in peace
and time and space to just love on you and be 100 to yourself and be honest
ask those questions that you really don't want to ask but just like really show
up for you to the point where it's so 100 that it reflects out and people know
that they can't even come play games with you because you do that 100, okay?
(55:15):
So keep it 100, be 100, okay?
But let me know how y'all feel about this episode, okay? Let me know either
on my webpage or hit me up on Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, y'all don't know
all social media platforms, but let me know how you feel about the episode, okay?
Are you 100? Have you been more 100 to people in your life and they have not been that 100 to you?
(55:38):
Then why do you keep showing up for this person who's giving you
50 and you've been giving out 100 you need to
do some reevaluation and see how you
can get exactly what you need you need to be around people who
mimic you who are 102 not mimic you to a t but just who are 102 because that
100 plus 100 makes 200 okay all right guys i love y'all so very much you know
(56:05):
me it's your girl pretty red auntie,
better known as goddess nikita okay let me know how y'all feel about the episode
but please tune in tap in every week to the pretty red ant show.
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