142: Why 80% of Us Are Burned Out—And How to Fix It with Amber Hargroder

Episode Transcript
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Meredith Oke (06:00):
Amber Hargroder, welcome back to the QVC podcast.
I'm laughing already because every time I have
you on, I'm just laughing the whole time. So I'll
take a deep breath. Welcome. It's really good to
see you again.

Amber Hargroeder (06:14):
Great to be back. I'll try to keep the laughter
to a minimum. No problem.

I don't. I don't know what it is with our
chemistry, but it's. It's just hilarious all the
time. So. Okay, so the first time we spoke, we
talked about the bees.

Yes.

Which was amazing. So if anyone hasn't listened
to that episode, it's in the. It's in the podcast
guide. It's. Go back a couple of years, you'll
find. Find it. We talked about quantum herbology,
and now you have taken a sabbatical and you've
come back with a whole new approach that combines

(06:56):
all of these things, but is in a completely
different realm, which is burnout. So tell us,
like, tell us how you landed here.

Well, I've been burned out in just about every
way a person could be. So very competitive,
ambitious, individual. I mean, all during high
school, I was competing on the national show
circuit for show jumping. I was, like, determined
that I was going to be like National Velvet or
not National. International Velvet, like, go to

(07:26):
the Olympics. If anyone knows that film with. I
can't even think of her name right now. But,
yeah, great film. I was obsessed with horses. I
worked constantly. I trained horses, all this
stuff. I go to college, my horse gets injured, I
get even more intense. And like, marathons,
triathlons, I'm taking 21 hours a semester. I'm a
dual major. I do everything that you can think

(07:47):
of. And I end up moving to Copenhagen, and I
crashed. I was in two different programs, and
there was an architecture teacher who was
teaching yoga Nidra. And that was the first
introduction I got into. Like, when you're burned
out, this is what you do, is you need to rest.
And apparently it's funny how that's news.

To some of us.

Like, yeah, I'm like 20, 21 doing yoga nidra, all
of a sudden. And, you know, it's like a long path
where, you know, if you're a very Dr. And you
have a ton of energy and you don't know where to
put it, and you don't have enough focus, you can
burn yourself out very easily. And so, you know,
the journey started with kind of doing yoga

(08:28):
Nidra. And then it got into, you know, herbalism,
quantum, all these different things. And I
realized when I was taking time off. I was like,
you know, all the things that I've studied and
learned about health, it was because I was burned
out. And if you go back to the B conversation,
you know, I got into bees because I was dealing
with grief after my boyfriend had passed away. So

(08:51):
that's a whole different type of burnout because
I feel that from my personal experience and
everyone dealing with grief has their own
personal experience with it. You kind of lose
half of your sense of self, especially if it's
someone that you were very close with, like
someone that you were romantically involved with
and it's a traumatic experience. It's like all of
the inside jokes are gone. All the stories you

(09:14):
told yourself about who you are and what you were
going to do and what your future looked like is
gone. It's like it's. You've lost a person, but
you've also lost a big chunk of yourself. And so
you kind of have to reweave yourself. And when
you're burned out, you've also kind of lost a
sense of self and you need to reweave it in some
way. And I think the problem with a lot of people

(09:35):
is that we don't know what we need to be weaving
with. We don't, we've lost the threads, we don't
know. And for me, every instance that I had where
I was burned out, I'm like, what do I do now?
Like, who am I? What, what am I doing? You know,
you, you get swept up, especially if you're
driven. You get swept up in the momentum of
something and you end up in different

(09:57):
environments with different people and you're
like, is this who I am? Is this who I'm meant to
be? Is this right? And your intuition's not
really working all that well because you don't
trust it anymore, because you don't trust
yourself. Because there's a big part of you
that's missing. And that was a big revelation for
me in this last time that I was burned out. So,

(10:19):
you know, in addition to having a practice and
having clients and teaching herbalism and
speaking at events, I also was a full time
business consultant. So I'm commuting from
Louisiana to Minnesota. I'm going all over the
country. I'm, you know, going into the most
dysfunctional work environments possible,
possible. And you see people who are self
medicating with alcohol, with drugs, with

(10:41):
nicotine, with coffee. You're drinking 20 cups of
coffee a day. And there's a mentality, especially
in the startup world, that you have to literally
kill yourself for the purpose of the company or
the startup. Like, you know, it's burn the candle
at both ends. Just get it done. Knock it out. And
that's a. That's a mentality that really destroys

(11:02):
the human spirit in a lot of ways. And so I'm
coming out of these types of environments, and
I'm sitting down with myself, and I'm like,
there's got to be a better way to do this. Like,
at no point when I was burned out did I think, I
need to go see a therapist or I need to go get on
an ssri. It was. It was more just like, you know,

(11:23):
I'm just so tired. And I think that's. That was
just the phrase I kept saying. Like, I know my
mother would be like, what do you have to be
tired about? She's like, you're too young to be
tired. I'm like, I'm just so tired. And when I. I
had company in Chicago, I had a friend who was
like, you realize you talk about death a lot, and
this was like 15 years ago or something, But I

(11:45):
was like, oh, my God, I do. And it's like,
because you're so desperate for something, it's
kind of seeping out in your language and in your
habits where you're like, something needs to
change, but you can't quite put your finger on
it. And so what we basically created is a way to
put a finger on it and be like, this is it. This
is what you need to change. This is what the

(12:06):
problem is. And to kind of turn down all the
noise and give you a clear signal as to this is
the direction to go. This is who you are. This is
what you should be doing. And with that comes a
lot of measuring, invisible things. And, you
know, I never really thought, you know, as an
intuitive person, you kind of feel the invisible,

(12:28):
like your structured waters, like sending
signals. And you're like, I don't know if I'm
picking up on this code, but you kind of sense
it. Like, I remember I went into this one company
and the first All Hands meeting, I was like, oh,
my God, this is a cult. I have to get the hell
out of here. Like, this is bad. And I'm like,
whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. Just calm down. I don't
know that yet. Maybe my intuition's wrong. You

(12:50):
know, you start justifying it. You're like, no,
it's a good paycheck. Like, I'm a stage day here.
It's going to be okay. I can fix it. And once you
get this type of report, you realize, whoa, no,
this cannot be fixed. I got to get out of here,
or it's going to destroy me. And I think that's
kind of the big realization with burnout, is that
nine times out of 10, it might not be a mental

(13:10):
health issue. It's an environmental one. And
quantum world, we deal with invisible things in
our environment a lot. We study on EMFs. What
water are you drinking? Grounding. Like, you
can't really see the effects of grounding, I
mean, unless you go get, like, the stuff scans or
something. But we're working with invisible
metrics. And so I now have another way to measure

(13:32):
the invisible that is kind of like measuring what
your water already knows. And we're validating
your. Into your intuition. And I think that's a
really cool thing.

That is really cool. And when you say validating
what your water already knows, you mean our. Our
structured water in our bodies, right?

So, I mean, if our water. We're always talking
about how our structured water in our body is our
cellular water is constantly paying attention.
It's constantly measuring our environment, our
reactions. Every time you talk to an individual,
you know, like, you and I have this giggly
chemistry, like, every person that you interact
with, it's like a chemical equation, and we're
trying to balance it subconsciously. And your

(14:10):
water is picking up on signals that are maybe
like, oh, is this right? Like, our intuition, at
its most basic definition, is the recognition of
patterns. And when we look at the work with, you
know, Veda Austin or Emoto or whatever, all this
crystallized structure and water is a pattern.
And so if your intuition lives in that structured

(14:32):
water and your mitochondria are picking up on all
these things, and they're like, what's going on?
Like, there's also things about the people that
you're interacting with that, you know, there's
that quote, like, human beings are, like, the
only people that'll, like, go into danger because
they want to be nice. Like, serial killers say,
like, well, you know, the women were easy targets
because they didn't want to be rude. Like, but,

(14:54):
you know, your intuition is like, this is
dangerous. And you're like, no. Your brain is
like, no, it's fine. Just go. You're being
ridiculous. And so I wanted a way to measure. Am
I being ridiculous? Is it me? You know, am I
crazy? And it turns out most of the time, you're
not crazy. You're just in a bad environment, and

(15:15):
it's just as bad and detrimental for your health
as EMFs or bad lighting. It's just as bad for
your m. To constantly be walking on eggshells or,
like, scanning the room for any shifts or
changes. Like, don't call on me. Don't pick on
me. Like, oh, my God. You know, like, that's very
bad for your health. And you get this tension

(15:37):
where you're just like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Like, and if you get used to that tension long
enough, you break down. So that's. That's a long
story.

Yeah. No, and I. This is so fascinating because
it. It's like the approach. The approach to
burnout, you know, is a similar approach to any
health issue from a quantum biologic standpoint,
which is. Which is like, what is the environment
you're putting yourself in? What is the
environment you're putting your biology in?
Whereas the more traditional approach is like,

(16:08):
what are you putting in your body? Are you
eating? What do you. We'll put supplements. We'll
put food in there, which is a path, but you also
need the path of what is surrounding you. What
are you interacting with? And so you're now
expanding that into the burnout. The burnout, I
would say, epidemic.

Yeah. So what's this for the fans of bees? Let's.
Let's make a little parallel for a second to
understand this burnout epidemic. So between June
2024 and early of this year, or early 2025, it
was estimated that 62% of all commercial beehives

(16:49):
collapsed. It was the worst, like, collapse die
off. On record, something like 1.6 million hives.
Now, these are commercial hives, so everyone's
like, oh, no, the honey business. I'm like, okay,
well, you also killed millions of bees, and some
people are saying that number could be even as
high as 75% of those hives died. And I'm thinking

(17:13):
about this, and I'm like, okay, well, I know that
the commercial hives are weaker for many reasons
that we've discussed in our previous podcast. But
what's kind of crazy is at the same time all
these bees are dying, we also have anywhere
between, like, 60 to 80% of working professionals
are completely burned out. Or if they don't want

(17:33):
to admit to burnout, it's like, I have some
symptoms of burnout. Yeah. So you've got these
two things that are collapsing. You've got young
people entering the workforce who are completely
zapped already, and you've got all these bees
dying. And it's kind of like, okay, well, what's
the. What's the commonality Here.

So what is the commonality here? I love talking
to you. We're very excited to hear it.

What's the pattern? What's the pattern between
burned out office.

Workers and dead bees?

I mean, I know you're gonna tell us.

So I, like, I have, I'm not, I'm not mocking you.
I'm. I know I am like, so ready to hear this.
Okay.

Okay. So number one, most bees and commercial
hives are not allowed to build out or draw down
their own comb. They are not allowed to build
honeycomb. It's on plastic sheets. The honeycomb
dimensions are already like the requirements.
Like the industry standard is already there
because commercial.

Oh my God. So they inform. They impose an
industry standard on. Right on nature.

Yeah. Don't want male bees. They don't want
drones because they look at them as just honey
eaters and so they don't want them. The drones
are basically the sensory organ of the hive. They
remind the bees of who they are, what their
environment is. They're the all the different
senses for them to understand what's happening in
their environment and who they are.

So the connections are now so clear, even five
seconds in. Okay, I see it, I see it.

So it's all about conformity. A drone cell is a
different size and shape to a worker bee cell or
a maiden cell female bee. And so they don't even
want you to build out those cells. They're like,
no, no. You can only make female bees for
harvesting and keeping honey. So that's the first
thing that's a parallel. Because a lot of young

(19:38):
people, or. Well, first off, a lot of young
people are lost. And that's a problem with our
education system. And that's a conformity issue.
And that's not every school. But if we look at
the history of public education over the past 200
years, it's like we trained people to be indus.
Excuse me, factory workers. So raise your hand.
Don't think outside the box. Don't be creative.
Do the multiple choice test, which is the test

(20:00):
for the lower orders, for lower order thinking.
We're not inviting people to be creative. And as
we enter this technological age with all of its
uncertainty and questions, the people who will
thrive are the creative ones. But we've taken
away the creative impulse. So you've got all
these people who are completely void of
creativity, which creativity is. I mean, it's

(20:21):
everything. I mean, it's a sexual energy. It's a
productive energy. It's. It's something that it's
generating the new and Right now, there's a lot
of people in the tech space who are complaining
that there's no innovation, there's just
sustaining innovation. It's just like, oh, you
know, we'll just change. Like, look at Apple.
We'll just change this one little thing. We'll
take away one more port. It's innovation. Like,

(20:43):
no, no, no. Tim Cook is not Steve Jobs at all. So
that's an example. We're not allowing people to
build things. We're just putting them in little
pods and we're like, just do what we told you to
do, which is what the education system has
trained them for. If you look at the parallels
between what a public school looks like and a
prison looks like, and then you look at a

(21:04):
corporate office, it's like the same thing. And
so you've got these people who are actively
protecting this status quo. And that's not even
to mention that bees in the wild prefer circular
shapes. They live in trees. They don't live in
boxes. There is no straight line in nature, and
there's certainly no straight line in a beacon.

(21:25):
And they like to build in curves for ventilation.
If you look at natural comb, it's usually very.
It has curvatures to it. It's got. They're very
creative all on their own. They build to fill the
space. They build for what suits them. But they
cannot do that in a commercial hive. So they're.
They're already kind of like zombie bees to begin
with. They don't remember what it is to be a bee.

(21:47):
They're just living in these little boxes and
rectangles on comb that has been predetermined
with wax, that is usually full of chemicals and
pesticides, or it's plastic, which that's a
petroleum product. Like, that is not something
that bees would encounter on their own. So that's
the first problem. This is why humans are being

(22:07):
humans and bees are burned out. Okay, that's
number one. We've already talked about killing
the drone, the drones. But what that basically
tells humans is don't trust your intuition, don't
trust your personal experiences. Jacqueline
Freeman, in her book the Song of Increase, which
I'm a huge fan of, we've talked about it
previously, she talks about how the drones, like,

(22:30):
sing to the baby bees, like the larva and the
pips, and I hope I don't call the dog, that's her
name thing sings to the baby bees to tell them
the story of what it means to be a bee. Does
anyone remember a story of what it means to be
human? Were you told that story growing up. I
mean, it just kind of like everybody's so

(22:51):
negative. Like, to be human is hard. And it's
like, no, to be human is to be creative. I mean,
the example I often give, which probably isn't a
fair example, but it's like Mozart was extremely
creative, but so is the prisoner who makes a
shiv. Or hooch is very creative. Crazy ends of
the spectrum, but you've got this creative

(23:13):
impulse that is an innately human thing, and
that's being squashed. So we're killing the
drones, and we're killing our creative sensory,
like, pleasure organs to some degree. Like, I
mean, there's great pride to be taken in making
something with your hands or making art, just to
make art. Not because it's got to make a profit
or, you know, funnel money for the CIA. You can

(23:35):
just make art, you know. So, number two, number
three. And this is the most. I want to use the
word egregious, but I hate that word. But it just
feels that way. In commercial beekeeping, they
constantly kill the queen. They are of the

(23:55):
opinion that you have to have a new queen bee
every year. So they kill her. And the queens of
the hive is not. We've talked about it again
previously, but it's not a monarch. She is the
mother of the entire hive. She gives birth to
2,000 eggs a day. Like, she determines what DNA
they get. I mean, if it's her DNA, she's making

(24:18):
male bees, which are drones, and that continues
her lineage. Kind of like mitochondria come from
the mother. It's continuing the lineage of the
mother when she breeds, like the one time she
breeds, she stockpiles all of this male DNA, and
that goes into the female bees. And that's. It's
really only use. And those bees don't breed. But
a queen bee can live for years, a healthy queen.

(24:40):
I mean, she's very productive for years at a
time. And in commercial beekeeping, they actively
murder her every year. And so what they do is
they buy a replacement bee, which is a temporary
bee. So let's say. And I have a personal story
about queens that we'll get into in a minute, but
say that you've accidentally squashed your queen.

(25:02):
This did not happen to me, thank God. But let's
say you did. Okay?

So you have a beehive and you accidentally squish
your queen or your queen.

Dies for whatever reason.

Okay?

Great mystery of how that happened. Let's just
say that she is now deceased. Okay? You're gonna
have chaos. In the hive. So if I'm in that
position and I'm like, I need a queen stat, there
are two things I can do. I can order a temporary
queen to put into the hive to. To, like, calm
them down, and hopefully they accept her. Or I
can wait to see if they build their own temporary

(25:33):
queen. A healthy hive will do this. They will
have a female bee who's not built for
reproduction, kind of become able to reproduce
enough until they have their bearings to have a
real queen. So they kind of like, have this
patchwork mechanism that they can put into play
if they really need a queen and they don't have

(25:55):
one. Well, the temporary queen is not meant to be
the long reigning queen. Okay? Like, she's not
gonna go the distance. She's just kind of the
emergency, like the band aid that you have for
the hive. So the hive, the colony continues to
live. It's. It's more just like, this is our. In
a pinch, we're doing this, it's a substitution.

(26:16):
You know, you want the real deal. When you're
constantly killing your queen for a commercial
hive and you're constantly purchasing queens,
you're only buying temporary queens. They are
breeding temporary patches. They're not buying
the good ones. It's not a real queen. It's just
kind of like, I don't know, the rebound.

The stepmother.

Yeah. It's not. It's not what you think it is.
They're not the same things. It's kind of like a
GMO versus an heirloom. They're two totally
different things. And in commercial beekeeping,
they just assume or they're taught. I mean, a lot
of people want to save the bees, so they start
beekeeping. And I'm not, like, you know, trying
to be mean about that. They're trained that this

(27:00):
is normal, that you need to kill your queen. And
to me, it's like, I would never do that. Like,
that would be horrible. Like, I can't. I can't
even. Well, I can't kill anything. But, like, I
almost got bitten by a water moccasin, and I
wouldn't let my husband kill it. I was like, no.
So I was like, it deserves to live. So me killing

(27:21):
queens would be horrible. But anyway, in
commercial beekeeping, they do that. And in our
current society, if you look at what the ancients
or even old practices like Chinese medicine think
about the heart. Like, your soul lives in your
heart. Your wisdom lives in your heart. We're

(27:42):
crushing that. In our current. In our society,
the way that the systems are built we're crushing
that queen energy within ourselves. And so we're
going for like, quick dopamine hits or like quick
bursts of happiness. It's like a sugar high. But
we're not actually finding our true purpose and
we're not finding that, that wholeness within
ourselves that the queen brings to the hive. We

(28:03):
have effectively crushed it. And it, in a lot of
cases, it gets crushed at a very young age. It's
like, you know, I mean, my, my family kind of
tried to crush it. They were like, stop being
weird. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to be
weird even more. But, you know, a lot of people,
they just aren't given a chance. They, they.

(28:26):
It's. It's very difficult in our society because
anybody who's weird is seen as a threat to the
status quo to some degree. Maybe it's just at a
micro level. And so we're like, no, no, just be
this temporary thing and just follow trends
instead of being like, whole within yourself and
feeling this flow of a higher awareness of self

(28:48):
within, within. And that causes a lot of chaos.
If you kill the queen, a hive goes into chaos.
They don't have anything grounding them or
centering them. I mean, everything in the hive is
based on scent of the queen. They all know where
she is at any given point in time. And, like,
they feel the vibration of her existence on the

(29:08):
comb. I mean, the comb is like their fascia. So
it's kind of like they know what's going on. It's
a major communication medium. When they don't
have that heart energy in the hive, it's just
like they get violent, they get chaotic. The
sound in the hive gets very high pitched. They
mourn her. And so it's kind of like the idea that

(29:29):
that's not a necessary part of a beehive or a
person is something that drives a lot of misery
and collapse because you don't have that
connection to self. You don't have that higher
energy, like keeping you together and keeping you
in harmony, harmony within the self. So that's
another example then. In commercial beekeeping,

(29:51):
it's a lot of chemical use, unnatural materials
we've talked about already, the rectangles and
the plastic and all that. But they use a lot of
chemicals to treat the hives because there's
mites or, you know, in the south, we have hive
beetles, which, I don't know, we're not going to
get into hive beetles, but they are the devil.
But, but yeah, you've got all of these Chemicals

(30:11):
that we're using. And kind of like what I
mentioned in the startup world or in a lot of
companies, it's like, do whatever you need to do
to your physical structure to get through, get it
done.

To keep going, to push through. Hustle, hustle,
hustle, hustle.

And that's not including the, the lighting
environment, the EMFs. You're bathed in the
terrible food they feed you. A lot of
corporations, they're like, oh, you're burned
out, here's some donuts, here's some fast food,
here's some domino's pizza. I'm like, really?
Like, I don't think this is gonna help. Can I
have a vegetable? But so that's the other thing.

(30:47):
And then commercial hives are constantly moving.
So you know, with all of this colony collapse, if
you've got a toddler right now, I really feel for
you because this is going to affect the prices of
your raspberries. But they're constantly moving
these hives to pollinate monoculture crops or
monocrops. So the bees are only eating almonds

(31:08):
every day for weeks on end. Or they're only
eating, you know, pollen from berries for months
at a time.

Where a hive in nature, they would fly around to
all different.

Right.

There's a lot of access to a variety of.

Right. Bees are flowers. Bees are like the
original herbalists. Like they know how to heal
themselves, but if you keep moving them, they
have no map of the landscape. And let's go back
to the fact that bees in nature live in hollowed
out tree trunks. They don't like to be near the
ground. They like to be in one insulated roundish
shape. They, they're tree creatures. They're not

(31:45):
earth creatures, very much earth and sun, or
excuse me, air and sun is more their energetics.
But in, in our situation, we have these
dysfunctional work environments. It's the
equivalent of moving hives around the country to,
you know, populate, to pollinate a single crop.
So we've got these dysfunctional environments and

(32:06):
it's making people like hate business in general.
It's making people anti capitalist. And there's a
whole, you know, there's a lot of things we could
break down about that. But a lot of people who
are practicing practitioners, whether you're an
herbalist, a health coach, whatever, that is
inherently capitalistic because you're not doing
it for free more often than not. But when it,

(32:28):
when we get into these dysfunctional
environments, we think it's having a business
that is inherently the problem. It's not Having a
business, it's having a dysfunctional business
that makes you miserable and is the problem. It's
corruption. It's, you know, different types of
personalities. I mean, surprisingly, not a lot of
CEOs are narcissistic, but we do have a lot of
like, dictator type CEOs like, or people in

(32:50):
companies that make you miserable. You've got
obstructionists, you might have a good idea, and
they just say no to everything. Like these little
things in micro doses. You know, in quantum, we
talk about like a micro dose can make a world of
difference for your health. Like, not microdosing
psilocybin, microdosing nature can make a big
difference. Like changing your light bulbs,
turning your WI fi off at night. Like these

(33:11):
little changes going out to get morning light,
they make a huge difference in your quality of
life and your health. But on the flip side,
that's also true for negativity. If you've got a
lot of micro doses of nonsense in your working
environment, that takes a significant toll on
your health. So all of these things kind of come
together where, you know, if, if we want to go

(33:33):
back to that metaphor of every cell is a beehive
and every mitochondria is a bee. You are an
ecosystem of hives. You are a great hive. And we
can take that all the way up to, you know, the,
the entire world is a hive. You can take that all
the way up and the vibration is off. And so real,

(33:55):
real quick, the story I'm going to tell you about
my queen situation. So again, bees do not like to
follow directions. They will do what they want.
And I am a bee centric beekeeper. So I let my
bees draw down their own comb. I'm not in it for
honey production, although I do buy honey from
other beekeepers. But, you know, I'm more just,

(34:16):
I'm studying bees, I'm working with bees. Like, I
have a relationship with my bees that's more
important to me than a business in this, you
know, situation. But I wasn't able to go check on
my bees for a while because it was raining every
day in Louisiana. It just rains all the time
because it gets very hot, the humidity gets
really dense, and then it breaks with a storm.

(34:37):
And it just like, I can't open the hive when it's
over 80 to 84 degrees. That's a problem, you
know, living in like this hot climate. And then
if it's raining, I'm certainly not going to open
it. Well, my bees built comb and they joined two
bars together. They merged Something together,
and they merged it at the bottom, not at the top.

(34:59):
So when I went to pull the bars apart, I didn't
realize I had a cross comb situation. I started,
like, surgically trying to separate them so I can
see what's going on. And comb collapsed into the
hive. And it's just like, as a beekeeper, when
this happens, you're just like, oh, my God. So,
like, this is the worst case scenario. And so I'm

(35:22):
getting this comb out of the hive because I can't
leave it in there. And I realized there was brood
at the bottom of that honeycomb, and I can't find
the queen. And if there's brood right there, that
means my queen was laying eggs. So I'm like, oh,
my God. Where is my queen? And I can see there's
a little bit more cross comb. They're super
stressed out. I don't want to make them

(35:42):
miserable. So I just, like, I got the comb out, I
closed the hive, and I'm sitting there like, oh,
my God, what did I do? What did I do? You know,
like, panic mode. And so I realized, well, I can
go sit and listen to their sound and see if they
have that high screech warning noise. And then I
realized I can record this with my phone and
study the sound waves using AI. So I put my phone.

So cool. Okay.

I put my phone on the hive, which I know that's
in your mask and all that. It was very short
version, just for a minute, and I recorded the
sound of the hive, and I did this every day for a
couple of days to let them recover from this. I
didn't want to open the hive and cause chaos
again, so I just kept recording the sound and
measuring their vibrations. And I realized, okay,

(36:29):
this hive still has a queen. Like, based just on
the vibration, they're okay. And I just kept
going back and sitting with them and, like,
listening, and it's like, okay, we're good. We're
good. And sure enough, I just saw her, like, two
days ago. She's fine. She's lame. So we're good.
You know, that really panicked me, but I had to
measure something that was invisible to the eye

(36:52):
because I couldn't open the box. So. And I think
that's really to round this all out. What I'm
doing with burnout today is effectively a hive
check without opening the hive. I'm checking the
vibration of the hive based off of your language.
So based off of the sound that you're making and

(37:14):
the words that you're using and That I think has
actually turned out to be very accurate in a very
strange way.

Yes. Yes. Okay. So to. To bring this back full,
full circle. Sorry, this is just so amazing. I
mean, it's so cool. So I'm just going to explain
for. For everyone listening. So Amber reached out
and she's like, I'm working on burnout. I'm like,

(37:44):
okay. And she sent me some questions. She said,
right. Stream of consciousness answers. Don't
think about it. They were not multiple choices.
They were very simple questions. You know, what's
your favorite this, what's your favorite that?
Things like that. And I wrote just a few
paragraphs. It took me, you know, I don't know,

(38:06):
five or seven minutes. And I sent them back to
Amber, and I was kind of like, what? What's
happening? She's like, I have this thing. And
anyway, and then. So then you sent me back this
report that described me quite well, actually,
and I showed it to other people. They're like,
oh, yeah, yeah, totally. You should work on that,

(38:28):
you know, because it has, like, the, you know,
the upsides, the downsides, areas of weakness. So
just to explain to people. So that's what
happened. And then I gave it to some of my
coaching clients. And I didn't. I just gave them
the questions and I told them to answer. Stream
of consciousness, same thing. And then they send
you their responses and. And you put their stuff

(38:49):
into your magic Be inspired Mathematic linguistic
algorithm, but conjured out of the ether these
insanely accurate profiles. So I just wanted to

(39:09):
explain that so that this is like, what's
happening. This is what Amber is working on. So.
Yeah, take it from there.

Yeah. So what basically happened is that I had
known this abstract mathematician for like a
decade, and we had reconnected and he was. Had
been building the software for, like, 15 years.
And his whole thing was he wanted to remove
dysfunction from companies. And he'd been CEO of.

(39:42):
Well, he was CEO of Spider Oak, if anybody knows
what that company is. It's like need to know
technology. It was like encrypted stuff. He's got
code in space. He's like this really talented
mathematician programmer. And he. We had kind of
fallen out of contact with each other because
both of his parents had been diagnosed with
Alzheimer's at the exact same time. And so he

(40:03):
spent 10 years taking care of his parents while
he was building this program. And we reconnect.

Sorry. Sorry I interrupt you just for a sec,
because what, like, what I'm hearing is sort of
life circumstances pulled him out of that day to
day hustle that you were talking about. And he
just spent all his free time being creative with
his genius, right?

Pretty much. I mean, in the spare moments, I
mean, from the stories that I've heard, I mean,
dealing with double Alzheimer's is a grueling
process. And I wasn't.

That's really intense.

Yeah, I, you know, but he somehow.

Managed in the, in that time.

So his goal, be creative. Yeah, his goal was
basically to do something for himself. And that
was like his personal time. And I think that's
another area of burnout that we don't talk about
enough. And I certainly didn't mention it earlier
in my list of burnout is caregivers. You get
burned out because especially when you're dealing
with someone who's, you know, terminally ill or,

(41:03):
you know, just dealing with someone who has like
a really nasty flu or Covid or something, you can
burn yourself out taking care of other people
instead of taking care of yourself. And I know in
the instances where I have been a caregiver, it's
like, you don't think about eating, you don't
think about sleep. It's. You're running off of
adrenaline. And for the period of time that
you're running on that adrenaline, you don't

(41:25):
realize the deficit that you're building. And
then when it finally reaches a conclusion of some
kind, good or bad, it's kind of like a slinky
going down the stairs. It all just catches up
with you so fast and you just feel like slammed
against the wall and you're like, what happened?
And if that experience does end in loss, then you
go through the grief process, which we've already

(41:46):
discussed. But it is a form of burnout because
you're running off of your reserves, like your
mineral reserves, your fat reserves. You know,
you're. You're running off of your, like your
emergency stash of life. And when you go through
that and you burn through it, it's like, how do
you even start regenerating that? Like, where do
you go? You've hit the bottom. And so for him, he

(42:09):
was taking care of his parents and he was
building the software and we reconnected and he's
like, you know, I'd like to run you. And I gave
him like 3,000 words of text and he gave me a
report on myself. And it was really good, but it
was also kind of bad, you know, and I think
that's the beauty of these reports. Sports is for
me, I was very results oriented, which we've kind

(42:31):
of already discussed. Like, anyone who's very
driven has kind of like that fire energy where
you just like, go, go, go. You're prone to
burnout. But I also had a really high holistic
score. Like, I was like this close to Rupert
Sheldrake. I was like, oh, I'm gonna, I wanna go
for that more, you know.

I believe it. I totally believe it.

Like, oh man, that'd be so cool. But the thing
holding me back is I had an off the chart self
martyr score. And I was like, oh, man, what? And
I started thinking about all the ways I have
sacrificed myself for like everybody and
caregivers. If you have any tendency towards self
martyrdom, it's kind of like, I'm not saying this

(43:13):
in a, in a bad way, like, oh, you put yourself
martyrdom.

No, I mean, I'm thinking of being a new mother.
Yeah, that, you know, you just described it. It's
like all of a sudden everything. And if you have
no, you know, if you're like. For me, I was used
to, to the working use of my energy. Just go, go,
go, go till you crash. And then they'll take a
vacation or a weekend comes or something. But

(43:36):
then you have a baby, you, like, the baby doesn't
have a weekend.

You just.

And so if you know, at a certain point, it's
these.

Well, I mean, how many women, when they're
pregnant are drinking nourishing herbs or eating
nourishing foods, if you can even keep food down?
One of my sisters vomited from the end of that
pregnancy. She couldn't keep anything down, so
her teeth started breaking because she was so
malnourished by the end of it. And then you start
breastfeeding. And there's these wonderful books.
It's called the first 40 days, first nine months,

(44:10):
and something about fertility. There's three of
them. I cannot think of the author's name right
now, but they are wonderful books. Just look for
the first 40 days. And it's like how to nourish
yourself as a mother. Whether you're preparing to
become a mother, you're pregnant, or you just had
a baby. Because a lot of postpartum is, is a type
of burnout where you have no nutrient nourishment

(44:30):
whatsoever. Like you're just completely depleted.
And that causes a lot of like, neurological
things. And it might seem like it's a mental
health thing. Like, I'm so depressed, I'm so
miserable, I'm so angry. And it's like, actually
you need like stinging nettles or you need you
know, red raspberry leaf. Because you have no
nutrition left in your cells, you've been, you've
sacrificed yourself. So I mean, that's a

(44:51):
beautiful thing. And I haven't gone through that
experience yet, ever. I don't know. But, but
it's, it's just one of those things where we, we
don't know how to nourish ourselves
appropriately. And you know, for me, realizing I
was a self martyr, I realized all the ways that I
had kind of been like, you know, when centipedes
have babies, their babies eat them. I had kind of

(45:15):
had that mentality a little bit like, I will
sacrifice myself for someone else. And as soon as
I saw that, I was like, whoa, okay, hold on. How
has that benefited me? You know, not to be
selfish, but it's like I'm the person who's had
all these burnout experiences and it's like I can
count or look back at every instance of the way
that I practically killed myself to the point

(45:38):
that I was thinking about killing myself because
I was so run down. I mean, this is over long
periods of time, but it's just kind of like you
get so depleted that you're just like, I don't
know what to do anymore. And you know, for me,
getting that initial report was very eye opening
about my behavior. So in the, in the research for

(46:00):
mindset psychology, it's called your action
logic. So your mindset dictates how you make
decisions, what actions you take to do things.
And everybody has a different, it's like a mosaic
of all these different possibilities. Like no two
people are exactly alike. And based on your
environment, based on your upbringing, based on
your innate, you know, soul, you have different

(46:22):
levels of everything. And it's, it, it kind of, I
mean, if we get a little woo, it kind of reminds
me of the Tower of Babel a little bit. Like
everybody is. So everyone's the same. They're all
building the exact same thing. And then God's
like, no, no, no, that's not what we're doing
here. And so it's like everybody gets split off
into these different languages. And, and I'm

(46:43):
like, well, okay, maybe it's not like French and
Spanish versus like Romanian and Russian. Maybe
it's, I mean, those three romantic languages,
it's not that different. But anyway, it's a, it's
not like everybody branched off into a language,
but what if everyone branched off into a
different subconscious? And so everybody has like
diverse things that they're supposed to be doing
or being or creating and it's not that we're all

(47:06):
supposed to be building this monolithic thing.
We're all supposed to be souls having a unique
experience. Experience. And, and so I think what
we're doing here is measuring if you're lost in
that journey because of the education system,
because of the career you chose, because of the
environment you're in or the people you're
around, if you're confused about who you are,
what you should be doing, what your purpose is in

(47:27):
life, and why you're so exhausted, this seems to
be a solution for that. This is like the ultimate
hive check. For the individual to be like, okay,
how's. How's my queen doing? How are my drones,
my worker bees? Like, am I able to be creat
enough to produce honey?

Yes. Oh, I love this metaphor. Yes. And that's
going to look a little bit different for
everyone, and yet we're trying to fit it in.
Okay, so I want to hear, like, the different
sections of the report, but I also just want to
bring up something that I've been that I think
about a lot that ties into this, which is that I

(48:08):
work with so many very talented practitioners and
coaches and people who have a deep heart to
serve, and they just want to work with clients.
And yet in our current setup, society wise, as
you were mentioning before, for most of them, the

(48:28):
only way to do that is to run a business, which
is not necessarily something that they are
oriented to. You know, some people have that,
like, kind of business part of them, and they
just step into it, but a lot of them don't. But
there's not. It's. It's. So I'm curious, right?

(48:49):
Like, you can be living your purpose in terms of,
you know, being a holistic health coach or being
a naturopath or whatever it is in, in terms of
what you do. But then you have to devote all this
energy to building a business structure around
it. And I'm just curious what your thoughts are
on that in terms of causing burnout.

Well, this is where my background as a business
consultant really comes into play. So, you know,
right now the report is geared towards more
corporate people. So you might have noticed that
in some of the language, it's like, you know, you
can't. It's not a good idea for you to work with
these types of people because they're going to
burn you out for various reasons. Reasons. And,

(49:32):
you know, there, there's different types of a
burnout situation. So you can have the physical
burnout situation, which is like, you're Just
physically, you're running yourself ragged. Or,
you know, cops, people working in healthcare,
people who have to work night shifts and their
circadian rhythm is off, like by a lot. Those
people will burn out. And there's a reason why a

(49:52):
lot of like law enforcement don't stay in law
enforcement all the way to retirement. Like, it,
just think about it, you're working night shifts
every two weeks or so. You're surrounded by EMFs.
It's like a fight or flight situation every
night. Like long periods of time followed by huge
adrenaline spikes. I mean, that'll burn you out.

And being called into situations with the
absolute worst behavior society has to offer.

Oh, absolutely. And you know, I've worked, I've
worked with a lot of law enforcement and like
people in the ICAC division, which is Internet
crimes against children, like they see horrible
things. So that burns them out. So you know that
that's one aspect of burnout is that the state of
your, the what your job requires you to do can
burn you out just by the nature of it or the way

(50:35):
that, you know, you don't want cops. I mean, I
don't want to say, I don't want law enforcement
to not follow their circadian rhythm. But if
there's an emergency at 3 in the morning, do you
want them to be like, sorry, we're sleeping.
Like, you know, it's, it's part of the sacrifice
that has to be made. But so that's okay physical.
So that can affect a business owner or a

(50:55):
freelancer. Absolutely. Because if you don't set
boundaries and you've got clients messaging you,
this can happen in corporate, this can happen
when you have your own business. But if you don't
understand how you best operate, and especially
for female entrepreneurs or female founders,
maybe look at how your cycle works. Because if
you know when you're going to be on your bleed,
you probably shouldn't be seeing clients during

(51:18):
that time. You should just rest, like push
everything to the front of the cycle or the
middle of the cycle. Like not then. So you can't
have kind of control. But if you have a lot of
empathy, chances are you're not going to want to
tell people no, or you're not going to want to
have those structures or boundaries because your
impulse is to help people. And look, when I first

(51:39):
got my very first report, my empathy was like
crazy high. And I was like, whoa, that's too much
empathy. This needs to be dialed down. I gotta be
a little meaner. I, I can't, I'm bleeding here.
You know, so, I mean, physically, if you don't
set boundaries for your own, well, being as a

(52:01):
business owner, then you're gonna burn yourself
out. So that's the first thing. If you're in a
dysfunctional environment, it could be inherently
dysfunctional, or it could just be dysfunctional
for you. So you work in a company, and these are
all people who this. You're just not in the right
spot. You're not in the right job, you're not

(52:21):
working with the right people. Like, that'll burn
you out. It doesn't mean that those people are
all crazy and you're the only sane person. It's
just you're kind of like, you know, I don't know,
like the alligator hanging out with the ducks.
Like, you're not. You're not the same person.
Don't eat the ducks. But, you know, like, so it's
kind of like it's a. It's not the same thing. But

(52:42):
when you have a business and you're running it
yourself, you know, make sure that you are doing
the right thing for your specific talents. If
you're a screwdriver, you don't want to be used
as a hammer. So you maybe could be used as one in
a pinch. But you know that if you. If you set up
your business in a way that you're like, I think

(53:04):
this is what I should be doing. This is working
for other people. I'll just do this one thing
that'll burn out. And I mean, I. I can speak from
personal experience about that, because when I
first opened my practice, I kind of positioned
myself as a generalist. I'm like, okay, come to
me with your biggest problems that cannot be
solved, and I will solve them. Right. Turns out a

(53:25):
lot of these problems you either can't solve
because they won't change, or like, there's a
reason why it's an unsolved problem. Maybe. Maybe
there's something that's been missed, but, you
know, it. I really set myself up to fail in that
regard because I was like, you know, come to me
with your biggest problems. And I found myself

(53:45):
pouring through herbalism texts and anything I
could think of to try to find these solutions to
obscure problems, when really it's like, that
wasn't necessarily in my wheelhouse. So if you
are running a business as a practitioner, make
sure that you're actually doing something that's
sustainable for you, that's going to give you

(54:06):
energy as opposed to deplete it. And the most
important thing. And we talk about this so My
husband and I now have a company called Stealth
Dog Labs. And all of the reports are run through
Stealth Dog Labs. But that's for the enterprise
side. That's for companies. My offer, my clarity
call is for individuals. But, you know, when we
look at different companies and the dysfunction

(54:28):
that they have, a lot of times you're talking to
the wrong customer. So we call it the A plus
customer. The customer that you love working
with, like you, it's a pleasure to talk to them.
They get you. You're on the same wavelength. What
you recommend works, you know, like they actually
do.

So, yeah, they're a good fit for you.

Right, because that's true.

That would be another big source of burnout if
you're continuously working with clients. I mean,
to use your metaphor, you're trying to coach
ducks and you're an alligator. You should
probably be coaching alligators.

Yeah, so. But the language on your website is
going to attract certain types of people. It's
not going to attract your dream client if your
dream client is a result systems thinker. Okay,
so there's seven core mindsets. There's tons of
personality traits which really make this very
complicated. But the core mindsets that we

(55:22):
measure are opportunistic people. So these are
like sales people. Like, they're always looking
for an opportunity. They're really good in a bind
because they'll find a solution really quickly.
Yeah, there's a, there's a quote, but I don't
want to use Bill Gates. No, scratch that. But
opportunistic people, that's one. So these are

(55:42):
people that are just kind of go getters and
they're really good at just like finding quick
solutions. They're not the deepest thinkers, but
they're very action oriented. You have
disciplined people. You're going to find a lot of
these in healthcare. They're really good at
following the rules, but they're really good also
at keeping teams together. So they want harmony

(56:03):
within teams. They want to make sure everybody's
on the same page. We're all working together. But
the problem with that kind of the downside of it
is they can also, in my experience in working
with companies, they can protect narcissists.
They don't want to believe that a lethal
narcissist who is destroying the team is a bad
person. They don't want to believe that. And so

(56:25):
you can bring them all the evidence in the world
and like, no, no, we're a team, we're a family.
You know, like, you got to take the good with the
bad. And so that would be a downside of
discipline. But discipline is the reason why the
trains run on time. We have electricity, our
Internet works. We have engineers. They're
disciplined. They get things done in a different
way. They're very steady, a good foundation to
build on. You've got your experts. These are the

(56:48):
people that the downside would be they nitpick
you to death. But they're also invaluable as very
highly niche consultants. These are people who
know the nitty gritty of some of the obscure
thing that, you know, if you're really in a bind
with that specific thing, you call them in, like,

(57:08):
that's them. But they can be kind of grizzly,
like you're gruff. Then you have results oriented
people. If it's not balanced with empathy, a
results person will just run you into the ground
because the goal and the achievement is
everything. But people like Jamie Dimon are
highly results oriented. Elon Musk is very

(57:29):
results oriented. They want to get things done.
You don't temper that a little bit with some
other aspects of a mindset. It can get kind of
bad. But you know, a results oriented person will
burn themselves out just because they are like,
go, go, go, just get this off my plate. And then
instead of resting, they put something else on
their plate. Kind of an example. Then we have

(57:51):
empathy. Empathy. A lot of people in the
healthcare space are very empathetic. That's why
you get into it. You want to help people. You're
like, I, I know I can help people. I can be of
service. The problem with empathy is they are
food for narcissists. Like, they just attract
them like crazy. They can burn themselves out

(58:12):
because even though they have empathy for
everybody else, they don't necessarily have
empathy for themselves. So they, they don't take
care of themselves. But in a company setting,
you're the ones who are like, we have to do this
for the customer. We have to go above and beyond
for the customer. We really have to understand
who these people are. An empathetic person is
valuable in that setting for marketing, for

(58:33):
messaging, all of that things, because they can
understand the individual. Which a results person
not necessarily. Like, it depends on what the
whole mix is. Systems thinkers, you're a systems
thinker. Systems thinkers are actually the most
burned out thinkers. And you have a zero burnout
score. So you are doing great.

But yeah, that was, that was exciting news. I, it
took me, I mean, that's been my journey for a
long time. So it took me a while, but I was very
excited.

I'm Like a systems thinker is a second tier
thinker. They can see all of the moving parts of
something, something and how it all fits
together. And Steve Jobs was a systems thinker.
You're much nicer than Steve. Way less
dysfunctional.

I must have a higher empathy score.

Yeah, Mr. Screamy. So, I mean, like, systems
thinkers are the most burned out because there
are big innovative thinkers. And we've already
talked about how innovation has been completely
squashed in most of our culture and most
companies. We don't want to do the big ideas, we
want to do the safe ideas. Look at all the movies
that are remakes from the 90s or before. Nobody

(59:50):
wants to take a chance. Whereas a systems thinker
can see all the moving parts. Kind of like that
meme from the card counter, from the hangover,
all the pieces and like, oh, no, this is what we
need to do. And unfortunately, in a lot of
companies, you know, God love disciplined
thinkers because they make things work. But a

(01:00:12):
disciplined thinker is like, we can't take a
risk. Like, let's just cut costs. Let's not do
something new and scary. Let's not do something
innovative. They're like, you know, let's just
increase the volume, let's put a volume button on
the telephone. Like, that's sustaining
innovation. That's what a discipline thinker
would think. Whereas a systems thinker is like,
let's throw all this out and do something cool,
you know, so that's that. And then the final

(01:00:34):
mindset is holistic. This is like the Rupert
Sheldrakes of the world. They do see all the
moving parts, pieces, but it's like they think
almost in like, I don't know, they think in a
totally different. It's like, it's like systems,
but it's more, I want to say it's a more feminine
version of systems thinking in a way because it's
more like, I don't know, I just think of like,

(01:00:56):
like they just in that way. Like with Rupert
Sheldrake and Morphic Resonance, he's kind of
thinking in a very different way. A lot of people
in his field and that's because he has an off
charts holistic score. So there's, that's all the
things that we're measuring that I think can
help. It's not all the things we're measuring,
but that's like the core seven mindsets to help

(01:01:17):
you understand these differentiations. For me,
I'm. Results. Empathy, holistic. Someone else. A
lot of people in healthcare are discipline,
empathy, you know, different people can be
results very rare. But that happens a lot in
health space. I, I think.

Meredith Oke (01:01:34):
No, it's interesting you say that. And that's
what I see. I would say, yeah, discipline,
empathy or expert discipline. And so running a
business, you need some opportunistic. You need
some. Right. Or you need to understand how to
build a business that aligns with those things.

(01:01:56):
And I think a lot of the business building advice
is from the opportune people.

Amber Hargroeder (01:02:05):
Opportunist.

Anyway, I'm. Yeah, go ahead.

You. You don't have to have. Don't think that.
Because if you don't have an opportunistic score,
you can't run a business. Like, actually some of
the best business leaders are result systems. So
you don't necessarily need to be like. A lot of
politicians are opportunistic. I don't. They are
selling something. But I think you also need to
actually produce what you promised. Which
politicians aren't in sales for that reason. They

(01:02:29):
just need one vote every couple of. They don't
need.

I guess that's what I'm trying to get at though
is like you have to be in sales a little bit.

Or you could just.

And there's a big aversion to it, or you could.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I, this is an issue that I really want
to solve.

So I.

It's hurting people. They're. They're not, you
know, they're not able to support themselves. I
see it over and over.

What I would say is first understand what your
mindset is. Then understand the mindset of your A
plus customer. So if your customer has high
empathy and you have high empathy, but your
language was written by AI and AI has a
disciplined mindset. Nobody's connecting. If you
just like, oh, you know, I got this badass

(01:03:17):
prompt. I'm gonna put it in chat GPT. I'm gonna
throw some compute at it. It's gonna solve all my
problems. Like, no, no, I'm sorry. AI has a
mindset of a discipline expert individual. So any
copy that you generate from Chad, GPT, GROK might
be a little bit more snarky, but anything that

(01:03:37):
you generate from AI is not going to match the
psychology of your customer. Now, we do that
through self dog labs. We can generate an LLM
that works with that psychology. But the thing
is, is to understand who am I talking to? What do
they need? This is like the basics of business
that because it's invisible, it's really hard to

(01:03:58):
quantify. So who is my customer? Where do they
hang out? What are they saying, what language do
they use, what problem do they have and what do
they want? And like, oftentimes the way that
people talk about their problems isn't their real
problem. That's just the coding on the problem.
So it's, if you want to have a successful

(01:04:18):
business, it's like you need to understand who
you're talking to. And it doesn't mean that you
have to all of a sudden become the sleazy car
salesman. Like you don't have to be, you know,
I'm not, I'm not trying to like all over
opportunistic people. They serve a purpose,
especially in a corporation. But if you're just
running a consulting business, really understand

(01:04:42):
what your purpose is, understand your vision,
focus on what you need to focus on for your
target customer and then communicate with them in
a way that resonates. And that sounds so easy.
But I can understand why people struggle with it.
Like, I mean, even with me. So I've been a
professional copywriter for 15 years. I've
written copy for everything from like luxury

(01:05:03):
brands to unfortunately politicians to non
profits. I mean I've, I've run the gamut, okay?
I've sold like shoes and people, not people that
way. That sounds bad. Not human trafficking,
scratch that. But you know, thought leaders, it's
a type of sales. I was trained by one copywriter.

(01:05:25):
One major one was a major influence for me. And
so I kept trying to make my voice like hers
because back in the day I figured that's how you
sell. And it's like I actually get a better
response when I'm authentic the way that I speak.
We were talking earlier about how LinkedIn is the
least authentic place ever. So if someone's never
run a business and then they go and they look at

(01:05:47):
LinkedIn and they look at how other people are
selling stuff, they're not actually realizing how
to sell for themselves. They're not realizing
that maybe if you're just very authentic, you
don't have to be this over the top, extroverted,
shallow person. I mean a lot of, a lot of sales.
And I've said this about politics. Politics is

(01:06:08):
very much like a skipping stone on the surface of
the water. It makes a bunch of splashes. It's
highly dependent on momentum. It's trying to get
somewhere. But eventually that stone will sink.
And you see this with politicians, eventually
they will sink because it is the culture that
inherently defines who the politician is. Look at
it like a vining plant. The politician is the

(01:06:29):
vine. It's going to grow wherever it can get a
tendril. Okay. Like it's just going to do that.
But if the culture is the trellis and we are
defining what that trellis is, then it controls
where the vine goes. So if you haven't done the
deep work, so you got the skipping stone at the
stop at the, at the top of the surface of the
water, and then you've got like the fish down at
the bottom, like the deep sea fish, they are

(01:06:50):
making bigger changes than the skipping stone at
the top. Don't fall for the flashy splashing
nonsense. That's trendy and it's just going to go
for a short period of time. Don't drive yourself
down crazy chasing things. You need to go deep
into yourself and what you can actually bring to
the table. Because, and I see this a lot in, in

(01:07:11):
the quantum community, there's not a lot of
differentiation because I think people are like,
what do I bring specifically? And it's, it's a,
they need to go internally instead of going
externally and trying to like, market like crazy.
It's like you need to go deep within yourself and
be like, who am I?

Yeah.

And that's a really, that, that's a difficult
conversation. And a lot of people will turn to
like, Meyer, Briggs, Enneagram, disc, human
design, the Zodiac. And they're like, oh, you
know, like, I'm a Scorp, I'm personally a
Scorpio. And I mean, for a while that resonated,
but it resonates a lot more with me to be like,
I'm results, systems holistic or something. You

(01:07:50):
know, like it's, it makes more sense to me and
it's, it's more personalized. And when you go to
all these other things like Myers Briggs or disc,
it's a questionnaire evaluation, it's open to
bias. You can already have in your head what you
want to be and what you want the answer to be.
And so even if you're not consciously aware of it

(01:08:11):
at the time, you can be dictating those results.
Our results have completely removed bias. It's
completely objective because I don't know if you
could actually cheat on this test. Like, there's,
there's no, it's not a multiple choice thing. So
if you're like, what's my favorite memory growing
up? What was my favorite toy? What's my favorite,

(01:08:32):
you know, day? Like, who's my favorite person?
Like, tell me why? And we're measuring the
linguistics for mindset psychology and linguistic
psychology. Like, it's not like you can choose
From A through E. So you get something that's a
little bit more. Well, it's actually more honest.
It's. We want honesty. I mean, the downside of

(01:08:52):
that is like, we've also been able to measure a
lot of frauds. So like Bernie Madoff, Elizabeth
Holmes, Sam Bankman, Fried, Stockton Rush, they
all follow a specific pattern of behavior. And
now all these documentaries are coming out. So
the pattern is a little clearer, but it's like we
can actually measure that now. And it's like,
whoa, you know, and I haven't, I haven't had to

(01:09:15):
tell anyone that they have these scores. But you
know, you're looking at someone like Thompson
Rush, the psychopath, and you're just like, whoa,
what was his deal?

What did he do?

This is the guy from the Titan submersible who
imploded on the way to the Titanium.

The submarine.

Yeah. And so Netflix just released about it. And
you're like, I know a lot about Elizabeth Holmes
and Sunny Balwani who ran Theranos. I didn't know
that much about Bernie Madoff, but we started
digging into it and we're like, well, let's run
their text. And it's just like, you see this
clear personality that emerges that reveals that
they were always a fraud. And it's just kind of

(01:09:53):
like, whoa, okay, what? Like, and that's just
purely through language, the language that they
used. So that gets a little creepy. But it's just
kind of like the language that you're using to
sum this up on your website for your business,
the offer that you're making, that's dictating
the type of customers that you're getting and
it's dictating whether or not you are generating

(01:10:13):
energy or running out of energy. So that's. And I
think we've, we've kind of talked, okay, types of
burnout, physical dysfunctional environment,
toxic people, your narcissist, obstructionist
dictators. And then any dysfunctional traits that
you might have yourself, like self martyrdom,
could be one. So those are the things that we're
ultimately looking for to help you get out of a

(01:10:36):
burnout situation or to help you find your
purpose, find, you know, what you should be
focused on. What your vision. It's translating
your vision into focus so you can have a
successful business. And that's kind of what
makes my clarity call offer a little vague in a
way because you can get a burnout report, but
it's whatever you need that we can provide that

(01:10:57):
helps you get out of burnout. So if you need Help
with your business. We've got those tools in our
toolbox. If you want help with your physical
health, I do tongue evaluation and connect you
with herbal allies. Like, it's truly a holistic
offer in the sense that everything is inherently
connected when it comes to your health,
environment, diet, you know, your thoughts, your

(01:11:19):
workout routine. And when I get on platforms like
X or Instagram and everyone's like, everybody
needs to be on Carnivore, everybody needs to
creatine, everybody needs turmeric. And then you
see the story is like, this woman's liver is in
failure because she OD'd on turmeric. And I'm
just like, oh, my God, like, not everybody. I
know bio individualism is relatively new in some

(01:11:42):
areas, but we're not all one size fits all,
especially when it comes down to how we think.

Yes, well, and that's interesting in terms of how
we think, because there's the messaging, like,
everyone needs to be doing this, but then there's
also the way that we receive it, which is in an
all or nothing, right? And we, you know, I
remember talking to a healthcare provider and he,
like, you know, recommended a certain tea to

(01:12:11):
somebody and he's like, drink one cup of this
tea. It was an herbal tea or something. And then
he saw her again and there was something totally
weird in her labs. And he's like, oh, tell me
like, what you're doing. And she's like, oh,
well, I drank like six cups of that a day because
you said it was good for me. No, but we're like,

(01:12:32):
oh, a little is good. Like the turmeric. A little
is good. Like, mountains of it. Must be better.
Like, what is that thinking? Because it happens
all the time. We all do it. We do it with
everyone. We've all gone through that with the
sunlight. We were just like all of a sudden all
the time. And then it's like, okay, there's a
little bit more nuance to it and there's a place
for sunscreen and shade and, you know, but that,

(01:12:55):
that kind of like, oh, my God, I found a new
thing that's really important. I just gotta, like
go to the wall with it as opposed. And we
eventually get to the, to the balanced approach.
But I see that over and over and over when
anyone, that we all do as humans. Carrie Bennett

(01:13:17):
had a post. It was something. Oh, yeah, fasting.
It was like, fasting is super helpful. But if you
fast and like, if you're doing like 18 hour fasts
every day, like, and you might not, you might be
getting depleted. And it's like, yep, we do it
with fat. Right? Like, we'll just do it with
anything we'll do instead of enough to have the

(01:13:38):
desired effect. We just go crazy with it.

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of, there's a lot of
aspects to that. I think there's one part of us
is that we're so hungry for whatever is missing.
We don't know. Again, it goes back to invisible
things. So, you know, I married someone who spent

(01:14:02):
his life measuring invisible things. And I'm
like, okay, let's, let's measure them together,
you know? Right. And what, what happened is we
kind of merged all of my knowledge with all of
his programming knowledge. And we wanted to help
people fix this problem. Because you'll see this
even in companies, they're like, we have to go
all Jaguar. Jaguar is a perfect example. They

(01:14:24):
just destroyed their brand. So if you saw like
the pink Kleenex box on wheels, which is their
new EV vehicle, they, they went from these super
sexy cars, they could have just thrown an EV
battery in those things and probably sold them
like hotcakes. But they were like, no, we're
gonna destroy our legacy and we're gonna go all
in on this extreme. And I think it's like this

(01:14:48):
desperation thing where we're like, we have to go
all in on something we don't want to just try dip
our toe in. And I'm totally guilty of this. I
once fasted for 15 days. So, you know, not to
brag, definitely not enough on my body, you know,

(01:15:09):
and when I get into things, I get really intense
and passionate about them. And so you want to
explore them to like all the way. Right now with
herbs, I, I don't agree with everything. The
initial herbalist I studied with, I don't agree
with her on a lot of things. But I will say that
her program was great because it introduced you
to herbs one at a time for 30 days. And what you

(01:15:32):
did was we meet once a month and we'd have like
three infusions of three different, like three
different plants. And we'd sit and we'd meditate,
which you with each one. And you could tell which
one your body actually wanted based just on that.
Like you could do like nettles, oat straw,
burdock. And you do three infusions, quart sized
jars. And you just sit with them with your eyes

(01:15:52):
closed and you just drink them slowly and be
like, how does this make me feel? And I think
what's happening is we've lost that sensory
element of the hive. We have lost our ability to
understand ourselves and how we respond to
things. And there's this. Because there's so much
going on in our environments. Whether you're doom

(01:16:14):
scrolling on social media or you're working in a
dysfunctional company, like, so much is being
thrown at you. I mean, I don't watch television,
but it's like I go to my parents house and the
TV's on. I'm like, whoa. Like, so many ads just
flying at me. And then the news is so bright and
everybody's all airbrushed, and I'm just like, I
can't, I can't handle this.

And they're telling you with such authority how
terrible it is.

Yeah, so. And there's, there's a system to that.
I don't want people to think that in order to be
in business, you have to be a sleazy salesperson.
And not all opportunistic people are sleazy
salesperson. I should say that too.

But yeah, yeah, no, they're great. We, we need
them.

We. Everybody has a role to play.

I've had my life changed by opportunistic people
who are willing to put their offer in front of me
until I realized I needed it. Like, I appreciate
that.

Everybody, it's an ecosystem. I mean, I just, I'm
like, I'm like, I don't watch tv. And I'm like,
oh, here's another Netflix show with, like, the
Shark Whisperer that I just watched. Which I'm
like, that's insane. But at the same time, I'm
like, okay, yeah, predators are important for the
ocean. So shocker. You know, things are there for
a reason. People's mindsets and personality
traits are there for a reason. You know, when we
ran a bunch of, like, nobility people, they were

(01:17:24):
all narcissists. Which, I mean, it's not really,
but I was like, oh, okay.

Did you run the current royal family of.

Yeah, I, I, we went through, like, Princess
Diana's letters that we found. Oh, yeah, she was
Camilla park about Bowles. Yeah, that's not
right, Charles. We went through, like,
transcripts of them being candid, and then they
were all three narcissists. Like, crazy
narcissist. Camila was the worst.

I was like, oh, really?

God. And then now I feel, like, super gossipy,
but the worst person in our system. We thought it
was Madonna. And then Neil Gaiman came in and
there's this whole sex scandal going on. So
there's a podcast called the Master Highly
Recommend it. It's crazy. He has, like, done
horrible things to young girls. Like, some of

(01:18:16):
this stuff. I'm still Neil Gaiman. Neil Gaiman.
And there's a lawsuit now. And he had hired this
girl. His wife was in on it. They would bring in
these young girls to serve as babysitters, but
they never paid them. And he was, like, sexually
abusing them. And they had no money to get away.

Yeah.

And so on the master, there's this, like, call
where it's a. It's him speaking, and it's not
him, like, polished or anything. And we ran that
and, like, he's a horrible person. Like, it just.
He's actually the most dangerous person in our
system, I think. And.

Wow.

You know, we were talking about culture before
this started, but it's like he grew up in
Scientology and was, like, a major player in
Scientology for a long time. And it's just kind
of like, I. I used to love his books. Like, some
of his books. And, like, I didn't realize. I
never read Sandman, but it's like Calliope, the
muse is being held captive and raped all the time
and being forced to call someone Master. And

(01:19:09):
that's actually Neil Gaiman. Like, he's not the
hero. He's the bad guy. Like, that was shocking
for me. I don't even remember my point anymore.
Now I'm going on to gossip.

Well, it's also, you know, it's so intriguing and
compelling that we reveal ourselves through our
language to this extent. Right. Like, as I, you
know, I was explaining to the audience earlier,
you know, I just answered. I just wrote some
paragraphs, and you sent back all of this
information about me. So it's like we are showing

(01:19:44):
the world who we are all the time. And you talk
about measuring the invisible. We, you know, we
get, oh, I have a bad vibe with person, this
person or that, you know, if when we pay
attention or intuition, you. We know, but we're
also giving voice to it, is what I hear you
saying with this tool that you and your husband
have developed.

Like, yeah, the.

The sim. I mean, language in itself is a symbol,
and where the words that we choose are
expressions of who we are, and we're revealing
ourselves whenever we use it.

So, I mean, there was a lot of fear about data.
When Elon Musk went in a doge. Everyone's like,
he's gonna steal data. And I don't think people
understand how much data they bleed out every
day. You know, this podcast is providing data on
me. You know, every. Every Social media post,

(01:20:40):
every yelp review, every LinkedIn, whatever.
It's. It's telling people who you are. It's
telling you are revealing who you are through
language. And I think inherently from your
intuition, if you're listening to your intuition
and paying attention to it, you actually can tell
who people are at the jump. It. It just. We

(01:21:02):
always convince ourselves that we're wrong. And
that goes back to our cultural conditioning in
which we're not allowed to really have an opinion
on things. I mean, think about a young kid who
probably picks up on good people people, bad
people, scary people, whatever, and we lose that
sense of, like I keep saying, intuition, but we
lose that Spidey sense, like, so young, because

(01:21:24):
it's. It's not important in a system built on
rote memorization and multiple choice tests. So
you're not meant to be intuitive. You're not
meant to be creative. And so we lose this
innately human quality about ourselves. And
that's why when people drink a tea, if you are in
tune with yourself, you will realize you don't
need to drink that six times a day. Your body

(01:21:45):
will be repulsed by it. But we're like, I got to
do it.

Yeah.

Bottoms up.

Like, my doctor said this was good for me, so
I'll just do like 10 times what the recommended
dose.

I mean, one great example of this is during the
pandemic, people couldn't get ivermectin and
hydroxychloroquine, so they were like, well, I'm
going to drink wormwood tea. Wormwood is the most
bitter tea in the Materia Medica. There's a demon
named after it in the Bible. It is extremely
bitter.

Oh, isn't that a Harry Potter? Isn't that the
Harry Potter rat?

Maybe. I don't know. Wait, is there. My daughter
is. Wormwood is the name of the rat.

That'S the bad guy who killed. Who ratted out
Harry's parents and then turned into a rat. I
didn't know that. J.K. rowling. Very crafty.

Okay, so language, language, when you work with
wormwood as a tincture, and it'll get rid of
really bitter memories is what, one of the
signatures of wormwood. The dose is one drop on
the tongue per day. And I ran into this woman
who, she knew I was an herbalist, and she came up
to me so excited because she was making herself

(01:22:51):
drink multiple cups of wormwood tea a day. And I
was like, whoa, okay, stop that. Like, okay. Sour
flavor. Yeah, Bitter flavors. They get your
gastrointestinal juices going, right? So they
help with digestion, congestion. Sour flavors
benefit the liver, but you don't want so much
sour that you hurt your liver. But it's just kind

(01:23:11):
of like, if you're drinking all of this wormwood,
what are you doing to your body? Like? And I
think during the pandemic, it was peak crazy, and
people were so desperate for anything, and I
think that's to kind of circle back. Why do
people go to these extremes? And I think it's
because they don't think they have any other
option. And they're hungry for something. They

(01:23:33):
don't know what it is. And so they keep thinking,
well, my doctor told me this. If I just, like,
overdo it, I'll get twice the benefit. And it's
like, you know, sometimes more isn't always
better. It's just more like it. Actually, there's
a diminishing law of returns at play here, so.
And the other issue is is the sunk fallacy. The
sunk cost fallacy is that people are like, well,

(01:23:55):
I've already spent all this money on all these
herbs. I've already spent all this money on this
doctor. I've already spent all this time and
energy on it. I can't stop. And it's like, listen
to your body. Like, listen to the hum of the
internal hive. Is this good or bad? Because
chances are, if you're already forcing yourself
to do something, it's bad. Now. You know, I'm

(01:24:15):
really bad about working out. I mean, I go for
walks. I work. It's a farm. Like, I'm doing
physical activity, but I don't, like, go to the
gym, but I don't, like, believe that I have to
punish myself. Like, I'm like, oh, I gotta go to
the gym and, like, work out for three hours and
do the sauna and all these extreme things. Like,
I know from experience that's gonna end bad. It's

(01:24:37):
more like incorporating things. And I. I mean,
I've been. I've been saying microdose a lot, but
it's really micro dosing nature. If you're gonna
work with an herb, maybe only do it for 30 days.
Do it as a simple do one cup. You don't have to
overdo it. A lot of doses with tincture should be
like, three to four drops. Three to four times a
day, if that. There are some books that'll tell

(01:24:59):
you, like, 40 drops of ashwagandha tincture. And
I'm just like, okay, well, let me know how that
works out for you. I think you can get By.

Yes. And especially in the, in the natural world,
we have this idea that like, it can't be, there's
no way for it to be bad for us. It's natural. But
these are actually very powerful substances.

Yeah, nature requires balance. I mean, I'm
actually living in nature. Like I'm in the woods,
on a river. Like, I'm surrounded by, you know,
giant cats and venomous snakes and owls and, you
know, you know, mosquitoes the size of birds. But
it's like when I'm around nature, I'm like,
nature inherently knows its own balance. When it

(01:25:43):
floods, there's something that it needed that
for. Like, it's just like it's, it's kind of like
there is this inherent balance and this inherent
wisdom, natural wisdom that maybe I'm not
completely up to speed on, but there's something
going on that is, it balances itself out. Humans,
we're so turned around about who we are, what our
purpose is, what environments are good for us. I

(01:26:05):
mean, I remember when I went through my
fruitarian phase like forever ago. They were
like, humans aren't meant to eat meat because we
don't have teeth like tigers. You know, we're
meant to eat fruit. And I'm like, I kind of, I
guess that could make sense. And then, you know,
you go through all these things. I mean, this is
when I'm in my 20s, but it's just kind of like,
okay, no, I don't, I don't think that that's the
answer. Yeah, 30 bananas a day. I just want some

(01:26:26):
soup and, and.

Need a little egg.

People who are like, green juice is good for me.
I must drink green juice. I, all the time. It's
like, okay, when the winter, maybe you shouldn't
be doing green juice. Maybe you need to switch
over to broth because you're cold. And I remember
my brother in law, he was like, you can't get
sick from getting cold. And I'm like, well, in
Chinese medicine it says that the chill makes you

(01:26:52):
tense and then that tense lowers your defenses
and then you can get sick, you're more
susceptible. And I mean, I'm not an expert on
Chinese medicine, so hopefully I described that
correctly. But you know, it's like if you're, if
you, if you have, if you're cold, you have a cold
tissue state, you need warming herbs. If you have
a damp tissue state, you need drying herbs. It's

(01:27:16):
kind of like what nature is showing you that
applies within the body. If you are overheated,
you need sour herbs because Those are going to
bring cool, like, lemon juice in the summer, like
lemonade in the summer that's very cooling. So
these are all patterns of nature that are
existing within your body. And nature probably
has its own home, similar to the hive has a home.

(01:27:37):
And if your home is not at the right vibration,
you're gonna burn out. Because you cannot sustain
chaos for too long. And what ends up happening is
if you're super tense for way too long, the
tissues will try to hold you together for as long
as they can, but eventually they're going to wear
out and they're just gonna be like. And then
you've got, like, all this. This, you know, saggy

(01:27:58):
tissue that can't hold water. And so you're just
peeing all the time. Or you got saliva, you got
snot coming out your nose all the time because
you're just losing fluids like crazy. And then
you dry out and you're like, well, how did this
happen? It's like, well, your boundaries were not
strong enough to hold hydration. And so it held.
It put up a good fight, but then it just kind of

(01:28:18):
went like, flaccid and it couldn't hold anything
anymore. So then you have erosion in internally.
We see that pattern in nature. I see that pattern
on your tongue. I see it in your tissues. Like
you feel it in your day to day life. But we don't
have the awareness of it because we're so busy.
Like, go, go, go. I gotta eat all this ground
beef. I gotta do this. I gotta drink match tea. I

(01:28:38):
gotta do all these. All these things. And so
you're so much in your head, you're not in your
body at all. So you could be drinking a tea
that's good for you, and you wouldn't even notice
because you're so up here.

Yeah, no. And we make it. We make it a mental
exercise, collecting information, acting on the
information. Am I doing all the things we see
other people doing? Something else? Should I be
doing that?

Well, and that's. That's the one thing humans
have that AI doesn't have, at least right now, is
discernment. Like, focus in on our discernment.
And that comes from, like, experience, like human
beings are as a species, as a historical lineage.
We understand what the poisonous mushroom is
versus the good mushroom. You know, there's all

(01:29:23):
this built into, you know, our. Our human selves,
this discernment of what's good versus bad.
What's. What things should be grouped together,
what things should not be grouped together. And
we use that for Creative purposes. And we're
meant to live with the rhythms of the earth, not
to just constantly be on one setting. And the
reason why everyone's so scared that AI is going

(01:29:45):
to replace humans is because we have devolved
into believing that we are machines and that if
you just put a bunch of, like, you know, shilajot
in it, it's gonna magically work. It's just like,
no, it's, you know, it's not so much about the
supplements, it's about the lifestyle. And if you
don't understand who you are and the role that

(01:30:05):
you play within your own life, then you're going
to get burned out. And that's really the thing
that I'm trying to bring to people, is to
understand who you are, what your purpose is,
like, what makes you happy, what are the things
that you can get lost in. And it might be going
back to something like thinking back to who you
were when you were 10, but it could be, you know,
you can build a business off of that. People have
built businesses off of far worse. So.

Yes, and I think that's the back to that business
point that is the key of it, and it's what I
really try to encourage people to do and
understand they can do, is to build a business
that works for them individually and not
necessarily to make it like someone else's. So
how do people find you and participate in this

(01:30:51):
magic?

So the website is amberhargrater.com if you are
looking for, like, if, if you have like a small
business, like a coaching business, we can still
help you through amberhargerter.com. if you're a
major corporation like Starbucks or something,
you need to go to stealthdog.com okay.

And say, so your self. What's the word you're
saying?

Stealth. As in like, like, like S E L F S T E A L
T H. Oh, stealth.

Okay, Sorry, I was hearing self.

No, stealth. Stealthdog.com. it has a little
stealth dog. Okay, you'll see that.

But so, okay, so stealth dog is for enterprise
level. Amberhardtgroeder.com would be for
individuals and small.

Businesses, individuals who are looking to fix
their burnout. Or even if you need help with your
coaching business or with your practitioner
business, like just trying to understand, like,
what copy you should be using, what, what your
focus should be. Be, like trying to really hone
in on that so that you can make your vision a
reality by, like knowing what the path is for
you. So you're not so much wandering in the dark
anymore. But we did Say we were going to go to

(01:32:01):
the woo level. Do you want to do time?

Yes. So I wanted to make sure we got your info
out there. And then, yeah, I wanted to end on
your best holistic mindset of all of it.

So one of the things I was doing because I, I,
people will probably notice who have been
following me. You can also follow me on Instagram
at Amber Hargroter. I'm gonna be on there more.
I'm trying to get involved with X. We'll see how
that goes. But I am there if you want to follow
me. And I guess if I can get, if I can stomach
it, I'll be on LinkedIn. But you know, here's,

(01:32:42):
here's my thing. I had reached a burnout level,
which is kind of why this report ended up
happening. Because I was trying to understand
what is it about me that gets me burned out. And
so we ended up making this report. But I was also
at the time going through a year long training in
dream work and dream interpretation. So we're

(01:33:04):
gonna.

Of course you were.

So I'm doing all of this work and with dreams,
and that's another thing in the clarity call, if
people want dream interpretation, that's
something you could just add on. This is like a
fun bonus. It's not like a requirement. But I do
know how to do it now. So, you know, I guess I
should practice. But I started doing all this
work with the hypnogenic state and a lot of
really brilliant people in the past have used the

(01:33:29):
hypnogenic state to solve problems. I know, like
the, the way that DNA looks was, it was like a
hypnogenic state realization. But I was working
in this state and I came to this conclusion on
how I had this like vision, so to speak, this
dream about how to raise consciousness. And I

(01:33:49):
feel like it kind of ties back into the bees a
little bit. But there's this story about how like
there's this grid of light, like the entire Earth
has this overarching grid and it's like a power
system and everybody, like people who reach
certain levels of enlightenment hold down that
light on that grid. And so they, they kind of
produce the energy that keeps this whole, you

(01:34:11):
know, Tesla called it a realm, but keeps
everything kind of functioning. And I tied this
into the chakras. So everyone has these energy
centers within their body and how they spin or if
they're blocked dictates how much energy you
have. It's, it's your access to your
enlightenment levels or access to enlightenment.
So the higher enlightenment. But if you have

(01:34:34):
these blockages at different levels of your
energetic being, then you're not serving the grid
of light. You can't activate this higher
consciousness, this higher energy level. And it
gets a little bit more complicated. As to all the
things that I, like, wrote down after this
speaking specific dream. But I was like, okay,
well, the answer to really healing yourself is to

(01:34:54):
increase your spin. Increase that spin of your
chakras, remove the blockages from it. And I
think that's kind of another element of why
grounding works so well is you're taking in
energy from the Earth. But if your energetic
system is out of whack, then you're kind of
blocking energy from getting where it needs to
go. And I used to do vipassana meditation a lot,
and I'd go to those retreats, streets, and I

(01:35:16):
remember there was this quote. They were like, if
you're chasing nirvana, you're going the wrong
way. That's great. You're constantly chasing the
top, the crown chakra, and you're constantly
chasing. I want to have this powerful brain, this
powerful consciousness. You're going in the
opposite direction. What it is, is you have to go
deeper into the self, deeper into the root, and

(01:35:38):
it stems naturally from the root. So you're
getting rid of all the blockages, and then you're
taking an energy from the earth to connect with
the energy above the higher. And you want that
system to be clear. And it's that spin that
ultimately activates this grid of light and
brings everyone to a higher level of
consciousness, is that every individual needs to

(01:36:00):
focus on themselves. Like, if you want to save
the Earth or you want to save humanity. It's not
about forming a nonprofit. It's not about, you
know, I don't know, getting rid of. I mean, I
think we should get rid of plastic in the oceans.
But that's mostly commercial fishing. You know,
it's like, you know, if you want to choose a
banner that you're gonna wave over, I'm. I'm

(01:36:23):
making the world a better place. It starts with
making yourself a better place. It starts with
removing the blockages that are preventing you
from being your fullest self. And when you become
your fullest self, you kind of glow with a
totally different, different energy. When you're
not burned out, when you're completely healed. I
mean, even though I think Neil Gaiman is a
terrible person, his book Stardust, the. The star

(01:36:44):
glows when she's happy. You kind of glow when
you. You reach this level of wholeness within
Yourself. And you've removed these blockages from
your own inner being, and that helps you anchor
down into this grid of light, and that raises the
consciousness of everything. And so if we think
back to the ancients, where they had all of this

(01:37:05):
mysticism around the honeybee, there's a belief
like the Fates had everything to deal with. The
Fates and the threads of existence. They all.
Everything was honey. Like, they had a goat that
had honey, like a tree that had honey. Everything
was honey. And it's part of this global hive. And
so if we look at ourselves as each a bee within

(01:37:26):
the global hive we have, it's an imperative that
we follow our own purpose. A maiden hive never
mistakes herself for a drone. A drone never
mistakes itself for the queen. They know who they
are, they know what their purpose is, and they
know what the role is in the greater hive. And so
why. My. My invitation to everyone is. If you are

(01:37:47):
feeling lost, confused, or burned out, this is an
invitation to figure out, like, what is your role
in the high. And that way you can reach that
higher level of being, and that will ultimately
raise all consciousness and make the world a much
better place.

I love that. Yes. And it. Yeah, I don't really
have much to add. I think that's totally it. We,
you know, I. In our quest to make the world a
better place, if we overlook the internal and

(01:38:25):
getting to really know ourselves on a deep, deep
level, all of it. Right. Like, if you haven't had
that moment where you're, like, really stung by
who you truly are and then just decided to move
forward and love yourself anyway.

Well, I mean, the bees do sting, so, I mean, it
doesn't mean.

Yeah. And going internally, the people who have
done that tend to be more effective. Well,
everyone has whatever it is that they want to be
doing.

Yeah, everybody has a role to play. You're here
for a reason. You're in this realm for a reason.
And I mean, I know. I'm like, you know, being
mean about Neil Gaiman. Obviously, he had a
reason. I mean, he inspired a lot of people, you
know, and some people learn some very hard
lessons because of him. But every single
individual in this realm has a role to play. And

(01:39:20):
they are part of the greater web of humanity and
existence. And in order for that web to be its
most alive, each member within that realm has to
be alive, has to be their most human. And that's.
That's really, I think, the most important thing.
If you walk away with anything, like, what would
make you the most yourself, what is most.

(01:39:44):
Nourishing to you, to support you becoming the
most yourself. That's. That's the journey that I
think we're all on. And the more that we're
distracted by all the noise around us, the more
it pulls us away from that. And so it's really a
call to, like, not change because everything is a
disaster, but to change because it feels really
good to be yourself without apology. It feels

(01:40:06):
really good to be like, yes, this is who I am.
This is what I offer. Like, draw. It's not
necessarily this drawing a line in the sand to a
degree of what you're not. It's looking at, who
am I, what am I not? And what's my role here? And
I think that that inspires so many people. It's
refeeding the fire of the self. You have to feed
that fire. If you don't feed it, it burns out.

(01:40:29):
And, you know, I think it. That's. That's the
mission I'm on, is to help people rekindle that
inner fire.

I love it. Amber, thank you so much for coming
back. This has been really fun. I know. We'll do
it again soon. That's amberhargrader.com for
everyone. You're gonna blow up. Everyone's gonna
be like, I won. I want my words analyzed. And
Hargre is h a r G R o D E r. I was gonna add an

(01:41:03):
extra E in there.

I was gonna change my last name, but then it
didn't really roll off the tongue, so I was like,
sorry, hon.

What's your husband's last name?

Skinner. I was like, amber Skinner is not really
a thing. Sorry.

Yeah, that has. Yeah, that.

Yeah. Love you. No.

I get it. Okay.

All right.

Thank you, Amber.

See you soon.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}142: Why 80% of Us Are Burned Out—And How to Fix It with Amber Hargroder