The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way®️

The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way®️

The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way is a podcast for ADHD Women Entrepreneurs who are ready to overcome the inner and outer challenges of ADHD and break free from neurotypical rules and expectations to create a business that works with their ADHD brain. Together we’ll explore our unique ADHD brains and how to work with them effectively, with ADHD-specific tools and strategies so that you can create and build a meaningful and prosperous business (and life) you love. The Self-Loved Woman Way is hosted by Jen Barnes, MSW, LICSW, RYT500, TCTSY-F, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist turned ADHD Entrepreneur coach and educator. She has a passion for working with women who are late-diagnosed or self-diagnosed ADHD as well as those who are ADHD adjacent. Prior to becoming a clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in complex trauma, Jen was an actuarial analyst for nearly four years for a large Minnesota-based company working in retirement plans. She has a Bachelors of Science in Mathematics with a concentration in Actuarial Science and a minor in Computer Science, that started out as an accounting degree with numerous business courses. An entrepreneur herself, she owns and operates two business - one, a full time private psychotherapy practice (since 2014) and the other a Digital Business empowering ADHD women entrepreneurs to move beyond ADHD challenges and create a business that replaces their full time income in 12 months. Jen’s unique blend of education and experiences as an ADHD woman and psychotherapist coupled with her history and experience in business offers a special twist on navigating the world of entrepreneurship as an ADHD woman. Further, her expertise in serving women with complex trauma histories offering an additional, deeper layer to the work of overcoming the pain and even trauma of growing up ADHD in a world not designed for us. This podcast is a fantastic place to embrace your ADHD (yes, even the challenges), explore ADHD specific ways to work and live in this neurotypcial society, and learn ADHD specific strategies for creating and growing your own business so you can have the time and energy to do more of what you love.

Episodes

July 30, 2025 39 mins

Ever get stuck in a loop, replaying conversations, overanalyzing decisions, or spiraling in self-doubt?

You’re not alone—and it’s not just anxiety.

In this episode, Jen breaks down the neuroscience behind ADHD overthinking, how it's different from anxiety, and why traditional advice like “just stop thinking about it” never works for ADHD brains.

 

You'll learn:

<...

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ADHD Burnout - or is it that your DONE People Pleasing?

Have you ever wondered if you're really burnt out… or if you’re just done people pleasing?

In this episode, I’m sharing something I wish more ADHD women (including me) heard sooner: sometimes we’re not exhausted from doing too much—we’re exhausted from being too much for everyone else. From performing. From holding it all together. Fro...

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Stop "Controlling" Your Emotions with ADHD: How to ACTUALLY Work with Big Feelings

Do you ever feel like your emotions are just too much—or maybe like you’ve suppressed them so long that you barely feel them at all?

 

If you're an ADHD woman who’s been told you’re “too sensitive,” or if you’ve spent years trying to manage or control your emotions so others won’t be uncomfortab...

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ADHD Women: The High Cost of Being a “Pleasant Child”

In this vulnerable episode, I open up about something I’ve only recently started to fully unpack: how my colicky infancy may have been the beginning of my lifelong masking as a woman with ADHD.

What happens when the only way we feel loved is by being quiet, easy, and accommodating?

We’ll talk about early emotional abandonme...

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Healing ADHD Burnout by Reclaiming Your Feminine Power (with Eleonore de Posson)

If you’ve ever found yourself teetering on the edge of burnout—over-functioning, disconnected from your body, and stuck in “fix it” mode—this episode is your permission slip to pause.

This week, I’m re-airing one of the most powerful conversations I’ve had on the podcast, with spiritual teacher and author Eleon...

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How to Remember to DO the Skill in the Moment When You Need it Most

Ever learned a great ADHD strategy… only to completely forget to use it when you actually needed it? You're not alone—and you're definitely not doing it wrong.

In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way, Jen Barnes shares two ADHD-friendly approaches to help you actually remember to use your regulation skills and stra...

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What do you do when even your best ADHD strategies stop working?

In this powerful episode, we explore what’s really going on when the tools, systems, and techniques that once helped you manage your ADHD suddenly fall flat—or never worked in the first place. Spoiler: it's not because you're doing it wrong.

You’ll learn:

  • Why ADHD-friendly strategies lose their...
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June 11, 2025 27 mins

🎙 Episode 103: ADHD and Cognitive Distortions – What They Are and What to Do Instead

 

Do you ever spiral over something small—like a dead bug on the floor—and suddenly you’re convinced your whole life is unraveling?

That’s not just anxiety. That’s a cognitive distortion—and ADHD brains are especially prone to them.

In this episode, Jen Barnes, ADHD Success Coac...

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🎧 ADHD Self-Doubt – How to Stop Chasing External Answers and Do What Works

If you're an ADHD woman who's ever thought, "Maybe I just need one more course, one more expert, one more answer to finally figure it all out," you're not alone—and this episode is for you.

In this raw, eye-opening conversation, Jen shares her personal journey through self-doubt, perfectionism, and a $55,000 wake-u...

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In this episode of the ADHD Success Coach Podcast, Jen breaks down:

  • Why ADHD women are more sensitive to blood sugar crashes and sugar spikes
  • How sugar gives a dopamine hit—but causes a crash that worsens ADHD symptoms
  • What the stress response has to do with your lunch (yep, really!)
  • The impact of perimenop...
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You’ve got the planners, the timers, the dopamine-boosting routines. You’re doing all the things… So why do you still feel stuck?

In this special 100th episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the hidden emotional obstacles that quietly sabotage even the smartest, most resourced ADHD women. I’m talking about fear, self-doubt, and insecurity—not the loud kind, but the kind that hides behind perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overf...

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If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just do the things?”—this conversation is for you.

In this episode, I’m joined by Jesse J. Anderson—also known as @ADHDJesse—author of the bestselling book Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD. Jesse shares what it was like to be diagnosed in adulthood, how undiagnosed ADHD impacted his career and relationships, and what changed when he started working with his brain instead of again...

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Ever feel like your brain is both frozen AND scattered at the same time?  Like you feel that vibrating, urgency type energy in your body but you just can’t even?

This happened to me TODAY - the day I had an entirely different podcast episode I wanted to record.  It was like a sign from the universe to share what you can do when this happens.

In this episode we’ll explore what this feels like, what is happening, and how to come out ...

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If motivation feels like it comes in hot and then vanishes without warning, you’re not broken—and you’re definitely not alone.

In this episode, I’m getting real about what it takes to cultivate sustainable motivation when you have ADHD. I’m sharing why the usual advice ("just be more disciplined") doesn’t work for our brains, and what to do instead.

I’ll walk you through the science of motivation and dopamine, and five ADHD-friendl...

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Do you find yourself feeling guilty or even ashamed of your anger?  Or maybe you have people telling you not to get so upset?  (Or even a spouse who tells you that you have an “anger problem” when the reality is you are the one carry all of the mental load and most of the physical load of your household?) You are not alone.  Unfortunately, this is not uncommon for women.

The problem is, our rage, our anger is both valid and necess...

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Ya know how there are things you could do that you KNOW would help your ADHD, but how you just can’t seem to do them?

If this is you, you’re not alone.  This is one of the most common things I hear from ADHD women.

AND, in our last episode we explored an amazing tool from motivational interviewing to help.

BUT what if you tried it and it didn’t work?  Or you can’t even get yourself to do it?

That’s what this episode is for!  We’ll ...

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One of the biggest struggles I see in ADHD women is getting themselves to do the things they know would help their ADHD - things I call “ADHD care”.  Given the busy-ness most women, especially ADHD women, experience, plus the way our brains are wired, this makes sense.  It truly can be hard to get ourselves to do stuff.  AND, it’s possible.

 

In this episode we’ll explore the challenges of getting yourself to do your ADHD care cons...

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Today, we're diving into one of the most intense emotional struggles for ADHDers: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, or RSD. If you've ever felt like a single comment or perceived criticism sent you into a tailspin—overthinking, self-blame, that heavy emotional crash—you are so not alone. I've been there. Recently.

But here's the good news: there's a way out of the spiral.

In this episode, I’m sharing two crucial practices that helpe...

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How to Overcome ADHD Task Paralysis: Two Shifts No One is Talking About

You know that moment when you need to start something—maybe it’s an email, a project, or just loading the dishwasher—but instead, you’re frozen? Like your brain is spinning in circles, screaming just do it, while your body refuses to cooperate?

That’s ADHD task paralysis, and if you’ve ever been trapped in that stuck feeling, you know how frustrating—no, madden...

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Podcast Introduction: "ADHD and Justice Sensitivity: How to Cope with Trump 2.0"

Do you ever feel like your sense of justice is cranked up to full volume—so loud it’s impossible to ignore? Like you’re walking around with an internal siren that blares at every unfairness, every hypocrisy, every outright attack on basic human rights?

If you’re an ADHD woman, chances are you’re nodding along right now. Justice sensitivity isn’t just s...

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