May 30, 2024 • 20 mins
On a bright and sunny day in San Diego, Eric and Shelly celebrate their upcoming 50th anniversary with a whimsical twist. The couple reminisces about their fortune and dreams of new adventures, like stepping into the Pacific Ocean for the first time and launching Shelley's Jellyfish Jelly at the La Jolla Farmer's Market.
Meanwhile, Adare and Philesha prepare for their wedding, complete with unconventional plans like skydiving and butterfly gardens. The episode takes a humorous turn as family and friends navigate misunderstandings, eccentric hobbies, and the inevitable chaos of party planning.
With witty banter, unexpected revelations, and a sprinkle of SmartlyVille magic, this episode is a delightful blend of humor and heart. Join the Smartly family as they embrace change, celebrate love, and tackle life's quirky challenges.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
It's a smartly sunny day in San Diego, in every single way, ole!
We're the luckiest couple in the world. Guess why? I know, it's cause we won
300 million. Should've been more!
Guess again! How long have you been married?
Tomorrow it will be 50 years. That's pretty good, for a starter marriage.
(00:25):
Eric, I just realized I haven't set foot in the Pacific Ocean yet.
I've come to think of it, neither have I. And it's right here in our own front yard.
Oh, I should mow the lawn. We don't have a lawn.
I miss my riding mower and a six-pack. I miss your six-pack, too.
You know, I heard that the jellyfish are in today, so we should do it now.
(00:51):
I'll go and get the poles. And I'll get the canning jars.
Worms or minnows? Worms. Gummy worms. I can see it now. Shelly's jellyfish jelly.
We can sell them at the La Jolla Farmer's Market. And gee, I wonder how God made jellyfish.
Oh, that's easy, silly. She just uses a lot of jelly tin.
(01:15):
Shelly, do you know what convoluted means? Convoys cause air pollution?
No, close, but not quite. It means it makes no sense at all.
But I sure do love you. Oh, Eric.
I still haven't seen the nanny's centerfold.
Mom said the maid threw my cup. Yo, you don't have a maid. Oh, yeah. Duh.
(01:41):
Did you know nanny has viral videos on the internet?
Yeah, she scared the sea lions with that burnt broom.
No, I think it's porn. What's that? Matt. Adair, are you getting married tomorrow? Yeah, so?
Well, porn is like what you'll be doing on your honeymoon.
(02:03):
We're going skydiving. Adair, I thought you said Felicia lets you play with anything you want.
Yep, she even lets me play with my food. But you don't drink cherry Kool-Aid anymore. Yeah, so?
I thought that meant... Ooh, the naughty, naughty.
Adair can't do that in leg irons. I sort of wondered.
(02:28):
Felicia just said Adair should say that about the Kool-Aid.
Don't you think skydiving would be dangerous on leg irons? Felicia said a dare can defy gravity.
A dare you can't defy gravity.
What? You mean Felicia lied to a dare?
(02:48):
Tell me more sweet lies, my darling Adair. Felicia, you look like you've lost weight. What?
Felicia looks great in purple. I do, don't I? Felicia's very good at wedding
planning. I didn't think you'd notice.
Everybody loves the golden gazebo. You know, throwing rice is bad for the birds. Adair loves birds.
(03:12):
Maybe we should throw money instead. Okay. How much should Adair ask Pa for?
A few mil should do. Okie doker. Fetch said Adair shouldn't skydive with leg irons. Why not?
Fetch said Sir Isaac Newton would not approve. That old fuddy-duddy.
Darren Felicia should go scuba diving instead.
(03:35):
I don't know how to swim. That's okay. It's just diving like in the sky.
Now that I think about it. Yes? In diving, men always go first,
you know? Then it's a date.
Yes, straight away. Right after our wedding vows.
Thumper said to write a song. I have to do anything else instead.
(03:56):
Want to make a butterfly, girl?
You mean like the painting Grandma made me? Oh, a real one. We'll plant milkweed.
Monarchs will lay their eggs on it. The eggs will catch into caterpillars and
the caterpillars will eat the milkweed.
Then they'll crawl away and turn into a green chrysalis with a golden rim. Like the gazebo?
(04:21):
Yes, and then they will emerge and fly away.
That sounds like an awful lot of work for them. They're not afraid of working or changing.
And they are very persistent. Oh, like?
I'm like a butterfly, graceful and free.
(04:41):
Never afraid of change, no, not me. Yes, Carrie. Just like that.
What I wish now is vegetation. Joy, joy, joy.
Letty, go get your father for me. He's at AA now.
He's never there when I need him. Grandma's here. Do you want her? No, never!
(05:02):
Honey, your grandma is no normal. I know. She used to be a queen.
What is your nanny? I don't know.
Abigail, it's our turn to ride the shooting star.
Mommy, my seal can video went viral. Letty, I need to run. Mommy, I miss you. Kiss, kiss.
Women get so excited when I take their bra off.
(05:25):
So when I retire, I'm going to volunteer in the nursing home. You're retired now.
Well, yeah, I forgot. Don't you regret not marrying Susie? Oh, no.
Regretting is so much easier than doing the right thing in the first place.
But you have a kid you've never even met. Yeah, no diapers, no sleepless nights,
(05:48):
no homework, and no child support.
I definitely got the better end of that deal. What?
In today's Smartlyville of La Jolla
TV news, a video of La Jolla sea lions chasing beachgoers went viral.
To stop this, officials say sea lions should stay six feet away from people.
(06:09):
Also, Smartlyville has been hit with MBBS, which is short for More Better Best Syndrome.
Symptoms include green eyes, grabby hands, and depression.
MBBS is treatable only by counting blessings instead of social media likes.
Which means we're all going to die.
La Jolla Farmer's Market is the hottest new tourist trap of San Diego since
(06:32):
today's launch of Shelly's Jellyfish Jelly.
The Japanese say this has introduced the sixth taste sensation.
Even better than umami, they're calling this new tongue-tingling taste Tsunami.
Now for the San Diego Comic-Con weather report. As always, it's 72 degrees,
sunshine, and perfect smurfing weather.
(06:54):
TUNE I'm in favor of women getting ahead of me, but only in the lineup.
How about a sunglass hut in the courtyard?
Yes, we'll call it Fifty Shades of May. Oh.
I know. Eric could invest in my stamp collection. You collect postage stamps?
(07:17):
No, tramp stamps. It's amazing how clean your conscience can say if you never use it.
Ain't that the truth Preston, I was trying to insult you I'm not sure that's
possible I wonder why Eric hasn't tried to kill me lately Maybe he's trying
to establish peace on Earth,
(07:39):
I'm in favor of that I think the song should go Let there be peace on Earth
But only after I have my inheritance,
That has potential That's it Shit!
I'll have Eric invest in a beer pill named Potential.
(07:59):
Eric, how do you like our new patio chairs? They hurt my back.
But they cost thousands of dollars!
Well, I guess one thing money can't buy and that is comfort.
Well, there's another thing that even rich people can't afford.
Oh, what's that deal? Honesty. Ha!
Actually, since we are filthy rich now, do you think we could hire a caterer
(08:22):
for our anniversary party?
Eric, your mother would turn over in her grave if she heard of such fragrant wastage.
Fragrance? Besides, everybody loves my cooking.
Apart from Food and Drug Administration, Centers for Disease Control and the
American Medical Association.
(08:43):
But they're not invited. I wonder why. He he he he he he he.
Real buy jellyfish jelly. Tell that to the La Jolla's farmer's market.
It's already in the news. I should lend you a few mils so you can invest in it.
Nah, I have a better idea.
(09:03):
We'll take the ginormous dehydrator and dehydrate all of Fetch's beer,
put it in a pill, and call it potential.
Preston, potential is useless without study, effort, and, Carrie's word of the day, persistence.
So it should be more like a multivitamin. I just don't see people studying and
(09:27):
working so hard if they're chock full of beer.
Anyway, how did your class reunion go? I learned if you treat women right,
they hang around too long. Oh, so that's my problem. Yeah.
Eric tried to kill Preston today by taking him on a hot air balloon ride.
(09:49):
Oh, no. Did it explode? No.
Crash landed? No. Did Eric try to push him overboard?
No. Then what? They landed in Encinita and had a picnic of wine and cheese.
As arranged, the waiter gave Preston the check and then ran right into him.
So Eric shot the waiter instead. then? Oh, no. You should report that.
(10:09):
What was the waiter's name? Bill Gore.
I hear the nanny still has a crush on you.
I still want to file charges, but Shelly won't let me. Nanny is a pretty hot tamale.
Nah, she's not my type. Really? Why not?
Well, for one, she's too short. You like them even taller?
(10:34):
For two, she's blonde. And you prefer redheads?
Nah, all hair is just plain yucky. Okay.
Plus, she's just too young. The rotten stench of youth just curdles my nose. Okay.
Plus, she's white as a ghost. I don't condom melanin shortages.
(10:55):
I see. So, are you free tonight?
Nah. I'm a cheapskate. I always charge.
Eric, I'm ordering new chairs for the patio. Oh, wonderful.
The decorator wants to know what your favorite color is. Well,
plaid. That won't work. Why not?
My favorite color is animal print. So, we could always compromise.
(11:17):
Oh, like your no-sex-every-Monday-Wednesday-Friday-and-all-national-holidays compromise?
Exactly! Okay.
Why are all these chairs covered in animal print?
It's a compromise, darling. How is that a compromise?
Well, every day the decorator's going to swoop in, take them back to the shop,
recover them, and return them to us. You call that a compromise? Oh, I'm not that silly.
(11:41):
I call it revenge.
Come on, kiss kiss. Time for kiss kiss.
Daddy, Mommy was looking for you. I told her that you were at AA. She said that figures.
You're never there when she needs you. Then she flew away.
Well, she always was too flighty. Daddy, what's a geek?
(12:05):
I don't know, like a dork or a nerd? What's a dork nerd?
Why do you ask? People at school are calling me geek. Why?
If I knew that, why would I be asking you, dork nerd?
Just because you feel sorry for yourself doesn't mean I'm going to take pity on you.
What's that supposed to mean? I hear you've been trying to wrangle my centerfold
(12:27):
spread out of everyone in the building.
Well, yeah, I just wanted to... See my very private... Uh, the, the, yeah... Tattoo?
Yeah, now that you mention it. Well, here's one for you.
A cheese grater? Yes. Now show me your tattoos.
I don't have one. Well, in that case, I'm greater than you. So knock it off, Buster.
(12:51):
Mr. Smartly, I already said I can't help you with your marital problems.
Why not? I won't be party to offering hope to the hopeless. I don't want to party.
I just need your advice to prevent bloodshed today. Bloodshed?
Shelly thinks I have a crush on Debbie, so she wants to kill her.
(13:13):
I see. How does that make you feel? Sad. Why?
Well, Debbie will be dead, Shelly will be in prison, and I'll have to burn the
hard-boiled eggs all by myself.
So you want to stop the killing? Of course.
Okay. Talk to her in her love language. I know.
(13:34):
Scottish and English and some Esperanto, but no love language.
It just means talking in terms of what they value most in the relationship.
Why? For example, Preston's love language is 38D.
I got it. Thank you, Nanny. This will be a piece of cake.
(13:56):
It's magic, just like you said. So you have all the lyrics now? Yes.
And most of the melody, too. And that's enough for one day, then.
Should I keep working on it? Before I forget?
Oh, no. Your brain works like magic when you're resting in play.
Like with the butterfly garden? Yes. It's just one thing to remember.
The only difference between a regular person and a genius is,
(14:19):
the genius writes things down. That's all?
Yes, but the trick is, when it comes to you, you need to drop whatever you're doing and write it down.
I have a great memory. I don't care how great it is. Promise me you'll drop
anything and everything and write it down.
Crisscross my heart. Always and forever. I promise.
(14:41):
Why didn't you ask Winky to do this? If only I could stretch a few more inches.
Carrie, come hold the ladder.
Uncle Adair has to go use the potty. Like this?
Carrie, if you want something done right, never ask a man to do it. Ouch!
What's wrong? Damn bees love the purple coneflowers. Watch out! Ouch! Damn!
(15:08):
Nanny! Nanny, hurry! Felicia's passed out again! Not again! Here, help me roll her over.
Nanny's kissing Felicia again! Chest action, too! Adair, stop flocking. Call 911.
No way. Adair's taking notes. For tomorrow.
(15:30):
Felicia, how many fingers do you see? Fourteen. What's your name?
None of your damn business. She's fine.
Erica, I'm baking a cake for our anniversary party tomorrow.
Shelly, I was hoping for a pleasant dream tonight. If you want pleasant dreams,
(15:50):
you certainly shouldn't conjure me up every night.
What are you doing? Trying to change the channel. This is a dream, not a TV.
I thought we agreed to have the caterer wedding anniversary party.
He can't. He's doing Adair's wedding instead.
I've been meaning to tell you. I think Felicia just wants him for his money.
(16:11):
Don't be silly. He doesn't have any.
I was thinking we should be serving some carbonated pepper water instead of
punch. What do you think?
Why not salt water? Everybody in La Jolla does salt water. It's so yesterday.
And you know me, I'm more of a trendsetter. Yes, trending closer to insanity every day.
(16:35):
Thank you, dear. So I give, what kind of cake are you going to bake?
The world's first Shelly's Jellyfish Jelly Cake!
Are you out of your mind?
Yes, dear. Topped with whipped tsunami frosting. And pickled herring ice cream? No.
(16:56):
Oh, good. I was thinking of pickled herring cotton candy served in hollowed-out
squirrel skulls. What's that smell?
It's smoke from the refrigerator. Refrigerators don't smoke.
That's just an alternate name for oven in Smartlyville. What's burning?
(17:19):
Oh, that would be the jellyfish jelly cake. Call the fire department.
Let's tell ghost stories and watch dead people TV tonight.
Dead people TV? No, shows from the 1950s. Nearly all those actors are dead by now. Even Popeye.
(17:41):
The smoke is getting to the head. We should get a smoke detector one of these days.
That would take all the fun out of it. Besides, I have this thing for firemen.
I call them chipping mails.
I thought you called them alternate husbands. I should go milk the butterflies.
(18:02):
Preston says Nanny has a butterfly Trump stamp. Eric, wake up. There's a fire.
You mean there's still such a thing as reality in Smartlyville?
Oh, I'd never go that far, but you know what they say, where there's smoke,
there's firemen. So I need to go put on my negligee.
Finally, I get a night off.
(18:27):
Ma'am, have you seen this man? I'm sorry, officer. I have a very bad face for memories.
You mean you have a bad memory for... Stop copsplaining.
Sally, I have this pre-anniversary present for you.
Wyatt, Eric, thank you. Wyatt, let me see. I saw the nanny's tattoo.
Is it pretty? Carrie has a crush on you.
(18:49):
But first, I thought I'd give you the opportunity to pay me a compliment.
What? You know I grew up too poor to even pay attention.
I was terrified of losing.
It was worse than death to me.
Felicia, I'm sorry you're not feeling well, but Letty's busy and I need your
(19:10):
help to talk with Abigail.
Thumper said that before we get married, we need to get to know each other.
I prefer a whiff of mystery myself.
My life is over. I can't see the future anymore.
You're the star of the show. I'm sure the director will understand.
No, she won't. She's a New Yorker.
(19:35):
It's a smartly sunny day in San Diego.
In every single way. Olé!
It's a smartly sunny day in San Diego, in every single way, ole!
We're the luckiest couple in the world. Guess why? I know, it's cause we won
300 million. Should've been more!
Guess again! How long have you been married?
Tomorrow it will be 50 years. That's pretty good, for a starter marriage.
(00:25):
Eric, I just realized I haven't set foot in the Pacific Ocean yet.
I've come to think of it, neither have I. And it's right here in our own front yard.
Oh, I should mow the lawn. We don't have a lawn.
I miss my riding mower and a six-pack. I miss your six-pack, too.
You know, I heard that the jellyfish are in today, so we should do it now.
(00:51):
I'll go and get the poles. And I'll get the canning jars.
Worms or minnows? Worms. Gummy worms. I can see it now. Shelly's jellyfish jelly.
We can sell them at the La Jolla Farmer's Market. And gee, I wonder how God made jellyfish.
Oh, that's easy, silly. She just uses a lot of jelly tin.
(01:15):
Shelly, do you know what convoluted means? Convoys cause air pollution?
No, close, but not quite. It means it makes no sense at all.
But I sure do love you. Oh, Eric.
I still haven't seen the nanny's centerfold.
Mom said the maid threw my cup. Yo, you don't have a maid. Oh, yeah. Duh.
(01:41):
Did you know nanny has viral videos on the internet?
Yeah, she scared the sea lions with that burnt broom.
No, I think it's porn. What's that? Matt. Adair, are you getting married tomorrow? Yeah, so?
Well, porn is like what you'll be doing on your honeymoon.
(02:03):
We're going skydiving. Adair, I thought you said Felicia lets you play with anything you want.
Yep, she even lets me play with my food. But you don't drink cherry Kool-Aid anymore. Yeah, so?
I thought that meant... Ooh, the naughty, naughty.
Adair can't do that in leg irons. I sort of wondered.
(02:28):
Felicia just said Adair should say that about the Kool-Aid.
Don't you think skydiving would be dangerous on leg irons? Felicia said a dare can defy gravity.
A dare you can't defy gravity.
What? You mean Felicia lied to a dare?
(02:48):
Tell me more sweet lies, my darling Adair. Felicia, you look like you've lost weight. What?
Felicia looks great in purple. I do, don't I? Felicia's very good at wedding
planning. I didn't think you'd notice.
Everybody loves the golden gazebo. You know, throwing rice is bad for the birds. Adair loves birds.
(03:12):
Maybe we should throw money instead. Okay. How much should Adair ask Pa for?
A few mil should do. Okie doker. Fetch said Adair shouldn't skydive with leg irons. Why not?
Fetch said Sir Isaac Newton would not approve. That old fuddy-duddy.
Darren Felicia should go scuba diving instead.
(03:35):
I don't know how to swim. That's okay. It's just diving like in the sky.
Now that I think about it. Yes? In diving, men always go first,
you know? Then it's a date.
Yes, straight away. Right after our wedding vows.
Thumper said to write a song. I have to do anything else instead.
(03:56):
Want to make a butterfly, girl?
You mean like the painting Grandma made me? Oh, a real one. We'll plant milkweed.
Monarchs will lay their eggs on it. The eggs will catch into caterpillars and
the caterpillars will eat the milkweed.
Then they'll crawl away and turn into a green chrysalis with a golden rim. Like the gazebo?
(04:21):
Yes, and then they will emerge and fly away.
That sounds like an awful lot of work for them. They're not afraid of working or changing.
And they are very persistent. Oh, like?
I'm like a butterfly, graceful and free.
(04:41):
Never afraid of change, no, not me. Yes, Carrie. Just like that.
What I wish now is vegetation. Joy, joy, joy.
Letty, go get your father for me. He's at AA now.
He's never there when I need him. Grandma's here. Do you want her? No, never!
(05:02):
Honey, your grandma is no normal. I know. She used to be a queen.
What is your nanny? I don't know.
Abigail, it's our turn to ride the shooting star.
Mommy, my seal can video went viral. Letty, I need to run. Mommy, I miss you. Kiss, kiss.
Women get so excited when I take their bra off.
(05:25):
So when I retire, I'm going to volunteer in the nursing home. You're retired now.
Well, yeah, I forgot. Don't you regret not marrying Susie? Oh, no.
Regretting is so much easier than doing the right thing in the first place.
But you have a kid you've never even met. Yeah, no diapers, no sleepless nights,
(05:48):
no homework, and no child support.
I definitely got the better end of that deal. What?
In today's Smartlyville of La Jolla
TV news, a video of La Jolla sea lions chasing beachgoers went viral.
To stop this, officials say sea lions should stay six feet away from people.
(06:09):
Also, Smartlyville has been hit with MBBS, which is short for More Better Best Syndrome.
Symptoms include green eyes, grabby hands, and depression.
MBBS is treatable only by counting blessings instead of social media likes.
Which means we're all going to die.
La Jolla Farmer's Market is the hottest new tourist trap of San Diego since
(06:32):
today's launch of Shelly's Jellyfish Jelly.
The Japanese say this has introduced the sixth taste sensation.
Even better than umami, they're calling this new tongue-tingling taste Tsunami.
Now for the San Diego Comic-Con weather report. As always, it's 72 degrees,
sunshine, and perfect smurfing weather.
(06:54):
TUNE I'm in favor of women getting ahead of me, but only in the lineup.
How about a sunglass hut in the courtyard?
Yes, we'll call it Fifty Shades of May. Oh.
I know. Eric could invest in my stamp collection. You collect postage stamps?
(07:17):
No, tramp stamps. It's amazing how clean your conscience can say if you never use it.
Ain't that the truth Preston, I was trying to insult you I'm not sure that's
possible I wonder why Eric hasn't tried to kill me lately Maybe he's trying
to establish peace on Earth,
(07:39):
I'm in favor of that I think the song should go Let there be peace on Earth
But only after I have my inheritance,
That has potential That's it Shit!
I'll have Eric invest in a beer pill named Potential.
(07:59):
Eric, how do you like our new patio chairs? They hurt my back.
But they cost thousands of dollars!
Well, I guess one thing money can't buy and that is comfort.
Well, there's another thing that even rich people can't afford.
Oh, what's that deal? Honesty. Ha!
Actually, since we are filthy rich now, do you think we could hire a caterer
(08:22):
for our anniversary party?
Eric, your mother would turn over in her grave if she heard of such fragrant wastage.
Fragrance? Besides, everybody loves my cooking.
Apart from Food and Drug Administration, Centers for Disease Control and the
American Medical Association.
(08:43):
But they're not invited. I wonder why. He he he he he he he.
Real buy jellyfish jelly. Tell that to the La Jolla's farmer's market.
It's already in the news. I should lend you a few mils so you can invest in it.
Nah, I have a better idea.
(09:03):
We'll take the ginormous dehydrator and dehydrate all of Fetch's beer,
put it in a pill, and call it potential.
Preston, potential is useless without study, effort, and, Carrie's word of the day, persistence.
So it should be more like a multivitamin. I just don't see people studying and
(09:27):
working so hard if they're chock full of beer.
Anyway, how did your class reunion go? I learned if you treat women right,
they hang around too long. Oh, so that's my problem. Yeah.
Eric tried to kill Preston today by taking him on a hot air balloon ride.
(09:49):
Oh, no. Did it explode? No.
Crash landed? No. Did Eric try to push him overboard?
No. Then what? They landed in Encinita and had a picnic of wine and cheese.
As arranged, the waiter gave Preston the check and then ran right into him.
So Eric shot the waiter instead. then? Oh, no. You should report that.
(10:09):
What was the waiter's name? Bill Gore.
I hear the nanny still has a crush on you.
I still want to file charges, but Shelly won't let me. Nanny is a pretty hot tamale.
Nah, she's not my type. Really? Why not?
Well, for one, she's too short. You like them even taller?
(10:34):
For two, she's blonde. And you prefer redheads?
Nah, all hair is just plain yucky. Okay.
Plus, she's just too young. The rotten stench of youth just curdles my nose. Okay.
Plus, she's white as a ghost. I don't condom melanin shortages.
(10:55):
I see. So, are you free tonight?
Nah. I'm a cheapskate. I always charge.
Eric, I'm ordering new chairs for the patio. Oh, wonderful.
The decorator wants to know what your favorite color is. Well,
plaid. That won't work. Why not?
My favorite color is animal print. So, we could always compromise.
(11:17):
Oh, like your no-sex-every-Monday-Wednesday-Friday-and-all-national-holidays compromise?
Exactly! Okay.
Why are all these chairs covered in animal print?
It's a compromise, darling. How is that a compromise?
Well, every day the decorator's going to swoop in, take them back to the shop,
recover them, and return them to us. You call that a compromise? Oh, I'm not that silly.
(11:41):
I call it revenge.
Come on, kiss kiss. Time for kiss kiss.
Daddy, Mommy was looking for you. I told her that you were at AA. She said that figures.
You're never there when she needs you. Then she flew away.
Well, she always was too flighty. Daddy, what's a geek?
(12:05):
I don't know, like a dork or a nerd? What's a dork nerd?
Why do you ask? People at school are calling me geek. Why?
If I knew that, why would I be asking you, dork nerd?
Just because you feel sorry for yourself doesn't mean I'm going to take pity on you.
What's that supposed to mean? I hear you've been trying to wrangle my centerfold
(12:27):
spread out of everyone in the building.
Well, yeah, I just wanted to... See my very private... Uh, the, the, yeah... Tattoo?
Yeah, now that you mention it. Well, here's one for you.
A cheese grater? Yes. Now show me your tattoos.
I don't have one. Well, in that case, I'm greater than you. So knock it off, Buster.
(12:51):
Mr. Smartly, I already said I can't help you with your marital problems.
Why not? I won't be party to offering hope to the hopeless. I don't want to party.
I just need your advice to prevent bloodshed today. Bloodshed?
Shelly thinks I have a crush on Debbie, so she wants to kill her.
(13:13):
I see. How does that make you feel? Sad. Why?
Well, Debbie will be dead, Shelly will be in prison, and I'll have to burn the
hard-boiled eggs all by myself.
So you want to stop the killing? Of course.
Okay. Talk to her in her love language. I know.
(13:34):
Scottish and English and some Esperanto, but no love language.
It just means talking in terms of what they value most in the relationship.
Why? For example, Preston's love language is 38D.
I got it. Thank you, Nanny. This will be a piece of cake.
(13:56):
It's magic, just like you said. So you have all the lyrics now? Yes.
And most of the melody, too. And that's enough for one day, then.
Should I keep working on it? Before I forget?
Oh, no. Your brain works like magic when you're resting in play.
Like with the butterfly garden? Yes. It's just one thing to remember.
The only difference between a regular person and a genius is,
(14:19):
the genius writes things down. That's all?
Yes, but the trick is, when it comes to you, you need to drop whatever you're doing and write it down.
I have a great memory. I don't care how great it is. Promise me you'll drop
anything and everything and write it down.
Crisscross my heart. Always and forever. I promise.
(14:41):
Why didn't you ask Winky to do this? If only I could stretch a few more inches.
Carrie, come hold the ladder.
Uncle Adair has to go use the potty. Like this?
Carrie, if you want something done right, never ask a man to do it. Ouch!
What's wrong? Damn bees love the purple coneflowers. Watch out! Ouch! Damn!
(15:08):
Nanny! Nanny, hurry! Felicia's passed out again! Not again! Here, help me roll her over.
Nanny's kissing Felicia again! Chest action, too! Adair, stop flocking. Call 911.
No way. Adair's taking notes. For tomorrow.
(15:30):
Felicia, how many fingers do you see? Fourteen. What's your name?
None of your damn business. She's fine.
Erica, I'm baking a cake for our anniversary party tomorrow.
Shelly, I was hoping for a pleasant dream tonight. If you want pleasant dreams,
(15:50):
you certainly shouldn't conjure me up every night.
What are you doing? Trying to change the channel. This is a dream, not a TV.
I thought we agreed to have the caterer wedding anniversary party.
He can't. He's doing Adair's wedding instead.
I've been meaning to tell you. I think Felicia just wants him for his money.
(16:11):
Don't be silly. He doesn't have any.
I was thinking we should be serving some carbonated pepper water instead of
punch. What do you think?
Why not salt water? Everybody in La Jolla does salt water. It's so yesterday.
And you know me, I'm more of a trendsetter. Yes, trending closer to insanity every day.
(16:35):
Thank you, dear. So I give, what kind of cake are you going to bake?
The world's first Shelly's Jellyfish Jelly Cake!
Are you out of your mind?
Yes, dear. Topped with whipped tsunami frosting. And pickled herring ice cream? No.
(16:56):
Oh, good. I was thinking of pickled herring cotton candy served in hollowed-out
squirrel skulls. What's that smell?
It's smoke from the refrigerator. Refrigerators don't smoke.
That's just an alternate name for oven in Smartlyville. What's burning?
(17:19):
Oh, that would be the jellyfish jelly cake. Call the fire department.
Let's tell ghost stories and watch dead people TV tonight.
Dead people TV? No, shows from the 1950s. Nearly all those actors are dead by now. Even Popeye.
(17:41):
The smoke is getting to the head. We should get a smoke detector one of these days.
That would take all the fun out of it. Besides, I have this thing for firemen.
I call them chipping mails.
I thought you called them alternate husbands. I should go milk the butterflies.
(18:02):
Preston says Nanny has a butterfly Trump stamp. Eric, wake up. There's a fire.
You mean there's still such a thing as reality in Smartlyville?
Oh, I'd never go that far, but you know what they say, where there's smoke,
there's firemen. So I need to go put on my negligee.
Finally, I get a night off.
(18:27):
Ma'am, have you seen this man? I'm sorry, officer. I have a very bad face for memories.
You mean you have a bad memory for... Stop copsplaining.
Sally, I have this pre-anniversary present for you.
Wyatt, Eric, thank you. Wyatt, let me see. I saw the nanny's tattoo.
Is it pretty? Carrie has a crush on you.
(18:49):
But first, I thought I'd give you the opportunity to pay me a compliment.
What? You know I grew up too poor to even pay attention.
I was terrified of losing.
It was worse than death to me.
Felicia, I'm sorry you're not feeling well, but Letty's busy and I need your
(19:10):
help to talk with Abigail.
Thumper said that before we get married, we need to get to know each other.
I prefer a whiff of mystery myself.
My life is over. I can't see the future anymore.
You're the star of the show. I'm sure the director will understand.
No, she won't. She's a New Yorker.
(19:35):
It's a smartly sunny day in San Diego.
In every single way. Olé!
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.