TrMF #029 – THESErMYVILLAINS, The HORRIFYING tale of Vlad the Impaler The REAL Dracula with Historian Dan Hitchin - THESErMYFRIENDS

Episode Transcript
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(00:10):
Okay.
Oh, yeah, I did it.
Hello? Oh, hello. Hello?
You're here. Hi. You're here.What's up dude?
Not a lot.
How's things been? Things is okay.
Does anyone else hear crawly rhymes here?
Oh, crawly sounds weird.

(00:31):
Wait, wait. That was it. Crawly.
Who was that? That was the other.
Damn. Double D's are here.
Hey, Actually, it's triple D.
Is it 000?
Yes. Dylan.
Excuse me. Thank you. Lonely as sorry.
The billionaire. Over here.
The billionaire plugged in, right?
Yeah. So we got a fun episode.
Dan Hitchens. I just can't rememberwhich episode you were on the last one.

(00:52):
The history.But there's no s on the end of it. Yeah.
And I.
I hear people loved it.
Pluralize my last name,but h it's not right.
That's right. Exactly. Nailed it.
It was like episode seven or something.
Or something.
Yeah. That was where.
Everyone's going to be.Like, no, no. There's no nine.
We were talking about history,
and I shamefully was rantingabout something that was unrelated.

(01:16):
How dare you be wrong?Yeah, I know I was pissed.
Is there anything that you want to.We don't call that.
I don't want to revisit it at all. End.No, no, no.
People have forgottenthey've already stored
that incorrect information to shameful.
They've already failed the exam.They were studying for it.
Oh, I wasn't far off.
We were talking about, like, OperationMincemeat.
Oh, he does want to go back.
And I and I applied it to,I think I applied it

(01:37):
to the D-Day landingsinstead of the landings in Sicily.
It was something.Something like that. So shameful.
We were talking about the man.
That they left in the ocean for.
The rave off. Spain. Right? Yeah,that's what we were talking.
So all the thousands of people who,
wrote in and mailed inand everything about that, then
just understand that we did the reprimandand we've told him we brought him back

(01:58):
specifically to apologize to you,the hordes of people who.
Know over a year later, that's act.
Yeah. Well,I mean, he we had to drag him back.
He was afraid for his life,you know, after all the death threats.
Like, I know people are tuning out of JoeRogan just to listen to this, but.
Damn right. Fair enough.
We don't do that Spotify deal.
No. I want something in substance.
It's like other people can get behind.

(02:20):
Yeah.
Yeah, I know he.
I remember talking about that, that wassomething that he admits to being wrong.
I know you're wrong.
At the time, I just wanted to seeit was a test to seeing if you would.
I had no fucking clue that I think I wasthe one
that brought that story up, and I wasthe one that was talking about that.
And then I was just gaslit me.
Yeah, no, I. Get what.

(02:41):
I mean. Put an end to this right now.
It's in the past I was just giving you.
It's in the past.We don't care. You don't. Need Jerry.
Jerry Stiller, Jimmy's today.
Jerry Stiller, Jerry Stringfield.
Is that, like.Who the fuck am I thinking? Ben's dad.
Yeah.
Jerry Springfield,the guy that had the trash TV.
Jerry Springer. Springer.Jerry Springfield.
Jerry Springer.

(03:01):
Like, like the Simpsons version.
Yeah, that's the dude.
That's scary.That's actually way better. Jerry.
Jerry Springfield classic Simpsons show.
Becausewe don't need Jerry Springfield on here.
We got this. Okay. Yeah.
But anyways.
Okay, we got a fun episodewith some fun, cool, spooky history.
Because this is a Halloweenepisode of these are my.
These are my.
These are really nice. Nailed it.

(03:23):
These are my villains.
We're doing a switch Halloweenspecial on villains,
and we got the history buffto tell us all about it.
The one I was going to talk about,
which I'm pretty sureis the one that you're bringing up.
Is a vampire.
What? You real vampire?
I thought wasn't this guyI wanted to fight.
Vlad.
Vlad?
Vlad the Vlad the Impaler,the guy you're bringing up.

(03:45):
That was the one that when you saidthat I was looking into
because I thought Halloween vampires.
And that's the only guythat ever really comes up.
He was the inspiration for Dracula,right? Yes.
He was. Yep. It was his name.
He was Vlad the third Dracula.
And hishis father was Vlad the second Dracula.
And Dracula.
Dracula means dragon.
Dracula means side of the dragon.
Which is like so cool.
Now I didn't I so it's writtenreference to a dragon now I didn't know.

(04:10):
Yeah, I yeah, and why is it getting it?
It's like the it's like the family name.
Well, all it is.
Is bats, dragons,all snakes, all kinds of shit.
All it is, all.
It is is when, when when Bram Stoker waswriting, Dracula, he went to he went to,
Transylvania and Romania,and he was just looking around,
and he just was like,Dracula is a cool name.

(04:30):
And then he just.
I think he just used it for his vampire.
Yeah. I'm crazy. Right?
It is a really good vampire name.
I mean, damn, yeah.
It's the vampire.
Name. Iconic Dracula. Laura.
Yeah. The nuts.
I had no idea that I do anythingwith dragons.
I don't know how I missed thatfor so long.
I always just that wants to meScooby Doo. Yeah.
So he's not likeDracula is not based on Vlad.

(04:52):
Like, in a literal sense, is. We,
Mean largely.
It's just because they borrowed his name.
Okay, okay, that clears that up.
He didn't drink. People's blood.
Which is odd,because they, like, chose a different evil
guy's name, and they didn'tinclude any of the very, very heavy
metal evil shitthat that guy actually did in the Dracula.
Vibe.
But, I mean, yeah, like,Dracula doesn't really impale people.

(05:14):
No, no, that would be super scaryand badass.
Makes you just like, yeah.
Yeah, gives him a couple double hickeys.
A couple double hickeys,and the way they go.
Yeah. Actually,yeah, it's still on Dracula.
You know, it's fine.
Is the first edition of the Dracula book.
When it was released,it had a, a yellow hardcover,
which, in Victorian England,signified that it was pornographic.

(05:36):
Oh, damn.
Anything that was pornographic wasreleased with a with a yellow, hardcover.
And it didn't necessarily mean that, like,you know, there's, like,
tits, you know, like tits.It was just. A heavier ray.
Blocky in the middle of the.
Book.
It's just.
It's just that there is some, some very.
I'm gonna put all these yellow books backnow. Actually.
Yeah.
It was just a lot of a lot of whatthey would have considered erotic.
And it wouldn't have been. For Tantalizeyour Neighbor.

(05:58):
It's for everybody. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Hey, at the beginning, it's like,instead of,
like, you know, for for intense language,violence, nudity, verbal blood, sexual.
It was like, apparentlyparental discretion is advised.
It's like, you know, an ankle.
Yeah. A smooch like may tantalize.
Your liquor is very.
Flirting in this book. Like,make it a yellow page.

(06:19):
He's going for their necks, right.
I see, like, very sexual. Like.
Yeah, well, you'll see womenwith the collars a lot back that it's.
Just to hide from the vampires. Yeah.
Things have. Changed. And perverts.
Yeah, yeah. For her, it's.
Like they they they do that now. Yeah.
He's wearing a beekeeper suit because.
Everywherethere. Are some vampires. Found.

(06:39):
Yeah. No. That's awesome. Well,that's not awesome, but that's awesome.
I didn't know that yellow books.
But, yeah, I have to say it was not,
unexpected to hear thatyou wanted to talk about Vlad the Impaler.
Well no doubt,I mean that's a good place to.
Start, right? Yes. Like perfect. Yeah.
The little bastard at the beginning of,the Evil Bastards list.
I got a quick vampire tip, okay.
Just to avoid them or, Yeah, this is too.

(07:01):
All right.
I already got, like.
Nice. Does itsay I already cut with that a lot?
So. Yeah.
Oh, it's actually. No, no. Like garlic.
Yes. Well, early,
this is something that I wonderedif, you know, in Hong Kong, according
to Chinese folktales, a dead bodycan be written and animated as a Jiang GZ.
No, I didn't know that by a sorcerer.Easy.
It's since done stiff with rigor mortis.

(07:24):
They can only move by hopping like rabbitswith their long
nailed hands outstretched.
The sorcerer controls the corpsewith a spell written on yellow paper
and stuck to their foreheads.
If the post-it note falls off,the Jiang Sea regains control and leaps
around trying to suck the quite key lifeforce g g g thank you.
I'm sorry G.
I think. From the livingthat makes more sense.
Yeah, instead of garlic and crucifixes,

(07:44):
the Chinese use sticky riceand yin yangs to repel Jiang chee.
Hong Kong really?
Several popular horrorcomedies about Jiang She in the 1980s.
So use sticky rice to get rid of them.
Yeah, I don't think they have lotsof that around.
It's like, no, not garlic sticky rice.What are you doing?
Yeah, it'snot. Enough garlic, garlic. Too expensive.
It's like you're right.
It's a sticky rice and yin yang. Which.
What about you. Name?
That's cigarets. Unionsis what it says to repel.

(08:06):
Seems so.
There's your versionof holding up a cross.
Yeah, exactly.Yeah. It's like the holy symbol. Yeah.
In the name of Brendan Lee.
Be sure to hold your breathto keep in the chili
and listen for the jumping noises.
Anyways, that was just I.
I'm going to throw some mini little factsthroughout the thing,
cause that's what I brought this to be.
Just like a bunch of,like, zombies hopping around
because they're like rigor mortis. Yeah.So they're stiff as fuck.

(08:27):
That's kind of hilarious.
It is a. Little.
It's like,
I don't know, some
I feel like some Japanese horroris like a little got it like a streak
of silliness to it that makes it, like,insane and scary and scarier.
Yeah.
Also are somehow
I'm able to imagine things that, like,are just absolutely horrifying to me.
Like that.
Yeah.
Like just just so.
It's not somehow it'sbecause they're a different culture,

(08:49):
but it's, you know, it's.Like they. Watch their horror movies.
Differently than me. It's the.
Weirdest. Yeah. It's so bizarre.
No, but like, the ring.
I mean, ring you like. Yeah. Exactly.Yeah.
We're like some ofjust some of the monsters.
Like, if you look at, like,Silent Hill or something,
some of the monstersthat they come up with is, like.
Junji Ito, one.
Of the, the gnarliest things I've noticedis like in, animation, if

(09:10):
for whatever reason, in, like
some certainanimation, the, the teeth that they use
on monsters and like horrificpeople and stuff are always like, sharp.
No, no, they're like flat human teeth,like they're, there's like,
just like a big, huge,creepy monster, like, gnashing away, like,
you know, following.
It's it's got like,these scarily human teeth always.
And they would still fuck you up, likethey would still just crush you apart,

(09:31):
but, like, they're not as sharpas, like, Western scary monsters.
It's like creepily human.
Which is kind of gross. It's really. Yeah.
Like I'm thinking about, like,berserk, like, you know, vision, but.
You know. A cat just doesn't make. That.
Growly.
You'refirst. You're biting your dust in the gas.
This is, I could just be my imagination,but my my roommate just got a cat,

(09:53):
and he does the same thing.
I. Oh, I on my lap.
Don't ever see Crowley rip one.
But that would be very niceSpringfield of that to do that.
You talking about you talking about Doug?I'm talking like.
Your new buddy Doug that I've beencuddling and hanging out with over
when I go over. For.
He's very. He's very cute,but he likes that he smells bad.
Dude, that that cat, for some reason,has, like, a real gnarly digestive system.

(10:17):
I don't know what's going on.
Oh, that was going a little mixedfeeding them, but,
you know that song by Phoebe Buffay? Yeah.
You know what. You're feeding it?
Yeah. All right. Well.
Yeah, it's being workedon, that's for sure. That's good.
Well that's good.Everybody's happy to hear that.
What did you get out of the cat?
I digressenough about enough about cat farts.

(10:37):
Well, anyway.
Holy shit.
Well, sucks. Who else is terrible?
Or wait,no, we're still on Vlad on the third seal.
Okay, okay. What do you want to know aboutwe got. Okay. I've.
I've fairly okay knowledge of him.
Trigger warning. Right.
This guy is very gnarly like that.
Obviously, he's an impaler. He'sthe Impaler.
Impaled a lot of people.
He made a forestout of people on toothpicks. So, like.

(11:00):
It doesn't meanhe was banging a lot of girls.
No, he did that, too.I'm sure it's going to say.
I'm pretty sure
there was nothing that he really wantedfor that he couldn't just out.
I mean, if you're able to impalethousands of people,
probably whatever else you askfor will happen.
The people are scared.
Yeah, that's that's like, you know.
Yeah, yeah. No, I won't do that, though.
Impale a bunch of people. Sure,but not that. Yeah.
Other thing you asked for.

(11:21):
No, I have a line. Geez, I yeah, I'll.
I'll say it's important to like,separate, like, myth from reality. So,
did he impale a lot of people?
Hell, yeah.
Like a along a roadright to his castle, like,
so that you would have to walk past him.
Yeah. So, Well, he was.
So he's actually a national heroin Romania.

(11:42):
Like, still.
Okay. And, it's because he fought.
He fought the Turks, okay?
He he actually like.
And so he was thehe was the, the prince or the voivod of,
Valencia,which is what's now southern Romania.
And the, the Ottoman Turks were trying
to control the area, and he was,

(12:05):
his father sent him to be a hostageof the Sultan when he was a kid.
It's, He lived there for a numberof years, and, they abused him.
They they they also educated himto, like, their detriment, but,
Yeah, they they abused him,
and he didn't like them, and, Yeah.
So he wasn't getting.
They were, they were basicallythey were raising him to be a cooperative,

(12:27):
Christian prince that they could control.
And, it didn't quite happenthat way. Crazy.
He didn't want to do that. Yeah.
And so, yeah, he's a national herobecause he, he fought, like,
relentlessly against the Turks.
And so that story that you'retalking about, the forest of, of dead,
those were,like Turkish, prisoners of war.
Yeah. Like an example. Right.

(12:49):
Like, for his virtues,
their soldiers coming upnot just to terrify like the peasantry,
but like to get the fuckingtheir advancing army.
That is like oppressing them.
Yeah.
This is what happens when you so,like with us, the.
Sultan that he's that he was that,he was fighting is the same sultan
who had recently conquered Constantinople.
And, Yeah, Mehmet named the Conqueror.

(13:10):
Is his. Name Mehmet.
Or Meghnad?However you pronounce it? Sure.
I'm not Turkish, so I don't know.How do you pronounce that, though?
I think it's that the Conqueror.
Jerry Springfield the. Second.
So, Anyways, he's marching on.
Valachi to subdue Vlad.
Right.
And Vlad, in his retreat, leaveswhat they say is 20,000

(13:31):
a, like, oftentimes backthen, the exaggerated numbers.
But you canyou can bet at least thousands.
That's where that numbercame from. And he impaled,
prisoners
alongthe route that the Turks were taking.
The gnarliest way is always to me,is just like how he did that.
Like, yeah. How the impaling part for.
Staff or a long spear. Of,of course, a long spear.

(13:53):
But they like, grease it and and. Right.
And there's depth so that you know youa different in different parts.
So it depends. Life.
Well it depends that that all depends onhow long they wanted to keep you alive.
So like some people have survivednot not necessarily one of Vlad's victims,
but some people have survived impalementfor like a week.

(14:13):
Because the way they see them doneand drink don't know or not drink.
I'm like, give them water.
No, no, they're waiting for them to die.
But it's just these people just arise.
It's like.It's like crucified in ancient times.
Like you're not or nottaking care of you there.
If it's not a lethal blow,you're just on the sticks way, right.
Oh, I guess we out or whatever.
Like, oh, these are for my huge knowledgebases, Diablo, where you see, like,
people like background characterskind of like moving.

(14:34):
They're dead, but they're alive.
Yeah. That is in hell.
That is literally in hell.
India,where the lost souls are writhing around.
This is not like.
The Oracle Day guys.
However, it's probably not that far offfrom what it would look like.
Yeah, we're some people still alive on.
These visual representations.
Or if you can imagine,a few thousand people, like,
purposely placed on the road.

(14:56):
It's very.
Yeah.
Do you know the way to the castle?
So. Anyway, anyways, they would, you know.
All. The dudes, they.
Could, they could choose to impaleyou from, like, say, like your lower back,
right?
Like, throughyou and leave you hanging there.
After that term comes.
From they'll go to, they can leave me
hanging, begging, grease it upand put you like anus first on the spike.
That's the one I always feelthat's the worst.

(15:16):
So that's the one where you'll
you'll slide downand it'll come out, like around your neck.
That's got to kill you. It's very nice.
Oh, yeah. Oh, they'll all kill you.
It just like, how, how. Longare you going to suffer?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're going, you're going to die. You.
I'm not taking you downlike you made it a week, though.
It's not for. You.
It's a. Trial.
It's not a it's not a corporal punishment.
It's a capital punishment.Yeah. So I'll stand, you know?

(15:37):
Jesus. Fuck, yeah.
So that was horrible.
That was his deal.
He didn't just impale, Turks either.
He impaled like his own. His own rivals.
There were,
So he lived on the board,like, the Kingdom of Hungary.
Okay.
This time was a very large,like, powerful country.
Like Hungary.
Today is just a little, little,little bit.

(16:00):
Yeah.
But it's.
Yeah, it was much biggerand more powerful back in the day.
So he was like,actually on the border of Hungary.
And so he, he was also quarreling with,the people on the border.
Okay. And,
yeah, he wouldthere was he particularly in particular
there were, Saxon or, German, colonistsin that area.

(16:24):
Right.And he was quarreling with them and.
Yeah, he, he impaled a lot of them, too.
So it wasn't it was, it wasn't just Turks,although he particularly liked impaling
Turks because. That's thethat's the Vikings.
Who oppressed. Him. Yeah.
His Batmanorigin story of. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then, yeah.
So he was actually the Voivod, three timesbecause he kept getting.

(16:45):
What's that word mean?
It's not a.
Say it differently than everybodywho says the band, which is Voivod.
But Voivod is just.What ends with an E. But it's just.
I think it's the same.
Oh, God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it'sthe same. It's the same thing.
He's. He's a prince.There's that what that means.
Yeah, that's I assume it's not a.
Different like insome of some European countries.
It's not going to bethe monarch isn't going to be a king.

(17:08):
It'll be a lesser rank.
So there's the Grand Duke of Luxembourg,for instance.
Is a is a monarch okay.
But not of the same rank as a, as a king.
Vlad was a prince.
A Voisin. Of Voivod.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's just that's just.
The artist,I think. Formerly known. As Prince.
In the language of the of the region.
Right. Okay.

(17:30):
Okay, cool. Now,I know what that means. I've always.
Because I know the man, obviously.
Yeah, yeah, and that'swhat I thought was right, but I'm not.
I just didn't.
Take Voivod out of me.
That's funny that we we keep getting,terrific.
Keeps getting compared to them.
They're like, well,obviously this is just Voivod worship.
And I'm like, it's funny because nobodyin the band listens to Voivod at all.
That's like,we can't care at all about it.
And it's to me it's very different
and like mid-tempo pacedand like different than Toro five.

(17:52):
But everybody keeps saying like,oh yeah, this is clearly like Voivod.
Worship like more shipinspired is a better word, but not not.
In a bad way.
Just like people are like, oh, that'sthey try to categorize it, right?
They try to categorizeeverything they can, as are humans.
But you can't categorizeto our five can't.
You could try to see them.
It's it's just. Voivod.
And for me,my vaudeville, it's just vaudeville.

(18:13):
Advil, Voivod. Anyway.
Yeah. What else? Who, us?I have a question, though.
Oh, Is it what happened to Vlad?
Well, yo, I'm not done with Vlad, I just.
My question is,and this is a silly one. It is.
But how many people do you have to impaleto get the title Impaler?
Enough. Probably like nine
to know.
Like, this guy gets the title.

(18:34):
How many other people are impaling rightnow, you know, or
not right now,but at the time, I mean, when you ask.
Yeah. Right. Right.
Right.It is. It's kind of his thing, right?
There's lots of. Calls. Like my thing.
Yeah, there's lots of cultures
that it would impale people and impalementwasn't, like, unheard of in Europe.
It's just thathe had a particular, taste for it.
There was Ted the tickler. Yeah.

(18:55):
So, like, for if, you know, he would,he would impale people like.
Bob the basher.
Like, the Sultan, for instance, sentto, two emissaries to basically.
The Skinner.
Demand to demand homage from him. Yeah.
And he instead of, you know, kowtowing tothe Sultan, he impaled his emissaries.
And that was the message.
I mean, I would suck.

(19:15):
Yeah,it is one of the wackiest things that.
I've also heard. Involving the messengers.The dumbest shit.
I hate that. Yeah.
I've also I've also read,and this could be another thing
where you got to, like,is this is this real or is it myth?
I don't know, right.
But allegedly,he had some Turkish emissaries,

(19:35):
come to his court, and,when it was dinner time,
he asked them to remove their turbans,at which point they were like, no, no.
And he knew they would say that.
And so he had them nailed to their heads.
Holy shit. Vlad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck.
That's because he.
I don't know enough about Vlad to knowthat that's like, true or false.

(19:57):
I have heard that. Thatthat's the type of thing.
That's that'sanother important thing about Vlad though.
And that's why I'm comfortabletelling those stories, is because Vlad,
he gets his nickname, for these reasons.
His his is is legendspread across Europe at the time.
And it got like, you know.
He's a dark shadow,like he's like a villain.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(20:18):
Like in like throughout throughoutlike, Germany especially.
They were, like, telling tales of Vlad.
So the hysteria is, like,massive at the time.
Like the fear of this man would be insane.
You had legends being, like,churned up and, like, spit out about them.
Yeah, like he's babiesand he blah, blah, blah, you know, like,
I mean, why wouldn'tthey just say that stuff?
He's already tryingto scare the hell out of his enemies.

(20:39):
It's not like he wouldn't, like,approve of people saying that.
He's like a scary monsterwho does like, inhuman, barbaric shit.
Like, don't fuck with him. Yeah, it's likestreet cred. Don't like with this? Yeah.
Don't you dare march an army on this guyor guess what's going to happen, Yeah.
He has literal demons on wingsthat'll fly out and fuck you up.
People are like,okay, fuck, I'm not doing this.
I'm not fighting a vampire.
Yeah, like I'm not high enough. Level.

(21:00):
Like charisma low. Yeah.
That's very, very much what?
Like any ruler atthe time would have wanted right?
Is to just to be.
Feared as fuck. Yeah. Fucking street cred.
I do want to know what happened to him,because I don't.
So I mean, in the literal sense,how did he how did Vlad come to an end?
Yeah. In battle.
Oh, did he not help?
No. Nobody nobody really knowsexactly what happened to him.

(21:24):
Except for the fact that,they found his body.
Yeah. He didn't come back.
Had and put it on a really high spikein Constantinople, I bet.
Because hewas he was a scourge to the to the Turks.
They finally got him therelike it's Vlad. He's dead. Let's get so.
So one is that one thing is, for instance,he snuck into the Sultan's camp
one time, right?
Dressed with his men, dressed as Turks,and he tried to, like, kill the Sultan.

(21:49):
So that was like a common, like tactic ofhis was to dress up as the enemy.
That's.
And there's a few legendsthat sort of swirl around that is like,
oh, is he was he dressedas a Turk in his own man killed him or.
Yeah. There's there's. Oh.
There's a few different theoriesabout how he died in the battle.
They don't know for sure.
But they did take his headand put it on a big spike.

(22:12):
The Turks? Yes.
And there that was, like, their biggestcrowning achievement up to that point.
To show that he's dead. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Or they could have been like,
like now conspiracy timeswhere it's like they killed him
and it was just somebody elseand they're just like, hey, everybody!
But they're just like,they captured him or something like, oh.
So yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.I mean, you know.
Yeah. Good of a lot of that said.

(22:33):
They threw him out of a helicopterhalfway back.
I think that was exactly. Yeah.
So there's no way to know.
Of a flying bat.
Yeah. Crazy. Vlad. Vlad.
Okay. Serious guy. That's our.
That's our boy.Then there anything else to add?
Yeah.
I think that says a lot.
He died. He impaled people.
It's true.
Yeah, not in that order,but he lived. His best life.

(22:53):
Is there any.
Other funny stories about himthat would be, like, interesting and.
Funny stories about Vlad the.Impaler? He's.
Yeah. Back in high school. Yeah.
You're not going to believe this one.
Hilarious fact about Vlad the Impaler.
I need clickbait. Come on.
I wish no, I wish I had
more for you, but, yeah, that's that'sthat's pretty much sums him up as he was.
If you can make something up.
I can make something. We wouldn't know.

(23:13):
You know, you know, micro penis. Oh, okay.
Well, I know that's not true.
Yeah, yeah, he was. Wrong.
You don't get that nickname. Yeah, yeah,
that might have been on the falls.
He's compensating. I don't know.
Hilarious.
So you guys ever heard of the princesin the tower?

(23:33):
Never heard of the princes in the tower,I don't think.
Nope. So,
Richard, the third king of England,
is older brother.
Was Edward the fourth.
And whenever the fourth died, he had a,
son who was a minor, And at this.
Time. Okay. What term like a minorin the coal field or like a minor?

(23:54):
He's a. King.
Like he's like a he was. Come on.
Okay. You. Yeah, I just clarify.
He's like a. Young.
He was like a child. Okay?
They're not they don't usually sendprinces off to the mines. Still
just clarify.
So yeah. Yeah. Let's in this time period.
Okay. Yeah.
If you, if you ascended the throneas, as a child.
Right.
You had to do a stint in the mines first.

(24:16):
You'd have to stay in the mines.
If you're worthy and know,you'd have your own.
Gems for your crown. Sorry. You had.
You'd have you'd have somebody appointedas a Regents.
Right? Right.
To rule in your stead. And,
this is this is during the periodcalled the The Wars of the roses.
So it was two houses of the same dynastyfighting for the throne of England.

(24:38):
Hauntingly beautiful.
Yeah, I know, I know, yeah.
So romantic.
So, Edward, the force dies.
And then his son, who is,
they call him Edward the Fifth.
He never really ruled,
just a child.
There was an immediate,he wasn't in London at the time,
and there was an immediate search for himbecause it was.
Who was going to control thischild. Right.

(25:01):
Is it going to be his motherand her faction, or is it going to be,
Richard,who is the Duke of Gloucester at the time?
And there's eventually the little boyand his and his and his younger brother.
They're captured by Richard andhis forces, and they're taken to London,
where they're kept in the tower. And,

(25:21):
those two little boys,
were disinherited, Richard said.
Richard said he had the legitimateclaim, his throne.
So he overthrew his nephew.
And those two little boys disappearedand were never seen again.
That's horrifying. Yeah.
That's how it ends. That's how it ends.
Oh, Jesus.
But Richard is not a good guy.
I mean, that ends Adly, because Richard

(25:44):
the Third is a villain in, in Shakespeare.
If if Shakespeare a spear.
You say things. Differently.Shakespeare's play.
Yeah. Shakespeare wrote a play about him.
Richard. Arthur. Richard's assert. Right.
He's this hunchbacked, evil monster. Yeah.
Quasimodo was actually
probably about 10 or 12 years ago.
12 years ago.

(26:04):
Maybe they found, Richard.
Richard's Richard body was never found.
He died at a,
Bosworth Field.
Battle of Bosworth Field.
And, they never had his body.
And then they dug up a parking lot
near the battle, and,
they found him, and sure enough, he had.

(26:25):
Scoliosis. Yes.
Yeah, but the DNA tested him with, like,the modern royal system.
Make sure that. So was he inbred?
Yeah.
I said, I guess they all I mean, probablyprobably a certain extent, but not.
Not especially.So you just had scoliosis now?
Kirby spine is the devil's roller coastersgathering.
Yeah.
So he left his nephews, took over powerafter his dad died or his brother died.

(26:48):
His older brother. Yeah. Yeah.
So he killed his older brother's sons?
Yeah. What a piece. Yeah.
And then he took the throne for himself.
And he only reigned for two yearsbecause Henry Tudor, came and defeated him
at the Battle of Bosworth.
And that's skull. I'm sorry. Bastard.
You shut down.
You said a curvyspine is the devil's roller coaster.
I sure did, yes.
I missed that.That's a really crazy thing to say.

(27:09):
Well, Tesla's roller Kileyunhinged thing to just say.
Anyway,if I. Had to go back. On that one. Yeah.
That's good.
I can't take all the credit.That's from The Simpsons.
Principal Skinner.Oh, okay. Okay. But yes,
99% of stuff that I say that actuallymakes somewhat sense is from The Simpsons.
That's why I don't get the reference,because I have seen
I felt like I'd seen a lot of Simpsons.

(27:31):
Every time somebody likeyou see that one, I'm. Like, oh, dude.
Well, I just, I caught the most randomshit that like nine times out of ten,
you might not even realize,but I'll give him credit.
I'll give The Simpsons creditif I have all.
The dumb stuffI say that you think is just dumb.
It's actually just a referencethat you don't understand.
If you think it's good, it's better.
It was original. Yeah. Perfect,
Who else? Where else can they go?
So I, I thought of two, that I'll puta disclaimer on because it's again, it's,

(27:56):
you know, we don't know if it'sif it's true.
Somewhat embellished.
Well, okay,so I'll start off with Gilda Ray.
He was a French nobleand a companion of Joan of Arc.
And so at this,at this during his lifetime,
he's basically like a hero.
But in the feudal hierarchy of things,I guess he,

(28:19):
he pissed off the wrong people.
And they got him tried and convicted for,
murdering up to 200, young boys.
Whoa. Who?
He was alleged to have,brought into his, his home.
And he had, like,some sort of torture chamber where he will
hang them up and torture themand rape them and kill them.

(28:40):
So this was.
But it was a falsified story.
So that's the debate.
So some people,some people think it's true, and other
people think that he only admitted to itbecause they threatened him.
They tortured him or whatever.
Well, they threatened him with tortureand excommunication.
And it's the latter partthat's like pretty important
because he was he was religious.
He doesn't want to be. People were.
Yeah, like separated from God forever.

(29:02):
Well, yeah, that'sbasically saying he's banished to hell.
Yeah. He's so scary.
You don't want thatwhen you believe that. It's real scary.
He likely took that into consideration.
And so yeah, he hadhe admitted to these things that
there's a lot of people think that he didit under duress.
Sorry. What was he.He was a. He's a noble.
So just like, one.
Of the higher ups alongside Joan of Arc.

(29:24):
Yeah.
So he was a he's a he'sa military commander. Okay.
So, yeah.
Anyways, he madehe made plenty of enemies in his time
and they arethe ones that took the charges up on him.
Or they, they press charges on him and.
Sully his name to sully.
His name.And people did that a lot back in the day.
And they would they would make theseextraordinary claims.
And, well, why not?

(29:45):
You realizeyou could just slander somebody
and they would actuallyfuck up their life. Yeah, yeah.
There's no way to disprove it. Yeah.
It ended his life.
Exactly. Yeah. They executed him right.
Politics.
Essentially just get someone killed.
They just insinuate or say whatever.
Yeah, but if you if you if.
You read up on him,the charges are horrifying.
If. Yeah, if they're true.
If they're true. That's a real bad dude.

(30:06):
Yeah, if they're true.
But yeah.
So there's there's,If they're not, then that sucks.
That like you're saying, say YOLO.
You only live once and that's yourthat's your life.
And then that'show you go down in history.
I know that there's probably
some people right now we're sittingin prison right now wrongfully accused.
Right.
That's kind of like what was goingon, right? 100% there.
It's yeah.
Well, people think that they killed and,

(30:27):
you know, did whatever elseand they didn't.
There was a guy in the news,probably a couple months ago
who got exonerated afterspending like 50 years in the slammer.
Which is. For murder he didn't. Commit.
How do you get just here's $1 billionin a license to kill
and a bunch of other, you know, like,what do you give this guy? Like, nothing.
Here's a here's our whole life hackthat we've been working on.
Like, what do you.
He's an old man.

(30:48):
He's like, yeah, I pray in prison.
Doesn't, you know, you're not.
Yeah. Nice time.
You're not thriving.No. Health wise. No. God, no.
And so it's like, yeah,
have fun with maybe ten yearsif you're lucky outside of this.
And they add the other thing to that,like I've seen that a few times with,
people being wrongfully,
accused of
murder or whatever, then going to jailand serving a long time.

(31:09):
And like,
I think like the majority of them arejust happy that they survived long enough
to get out of jail and then knowone not dying with that on their name.
On their name, exact.I think that at that point.
Thank God, it's.
Nothing to do with their lifeor their quality of life
at that point,because all that's like forfeit.
But what they really, reallyI bet the number one
most important goal of your lifeat that time would be clearing your name

(31:29):
and being like I did not do this shit.
I've been this has been done to me.
Which would have been,imagine the validation
that man feels after 50 yearsof being like having his life stolen.
He still persevered through.
He still managed to get this far.And then they found out.
I'm sorry, it was someone else.
Your name is cleared. Oops.
And it's like the ultimate,like validation.
Like the ultimate.

(31:50):
I told you so. Yeah.
You know, a whole bouquet of disease.
Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah.
Are you here? They are for you.
I hope you enjoy your restof your life, sir.
I apologize about that whole 50 yearjail sentence.
Whoops. Yeah.
The problem too, is like the systemdoesn't have a vested interest in
agreeing with. You.
Or taking up your cause.

(32:10):
No, that's why you have thingslike the Freedom Project.
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Peopleliterally profit off of you being in jail.
So you.
They don't want to free youif you. Know the system.
The system is people.
And people don't like to admitthey were right. Yeah.
Especially when they truly believethey were right.
And when there's accountability, you know,and when there's like liability, right?
You claim to admit you were wrong becauseyou will go to jail or whatever, right.

(32:33):
Like you. Can. Yeah.
But it's it's tough to sometimesbecause like and I'm not saying that
people deserve to be in jail for 50 yearsfor something they didn't do.
Wait. You're not.I'm not saying that at all.
Let me like,let me state that clearly. Yeah.
While you're coming. On, look at it.
There's like some of the peoplethat has had that happen to them
aren't necessarily the greatest people.

(32:54):
They didn't commit murder,but they've had pretty
questionable life choicesto get up to that point.
Yeah. And like.
So you're saying it's their fault? No.
Oh, it's just like it'sone of those things where it's just like,
I think that's half the reasonwhy they understand.
And they're just like, fucking thing
got them out of hereis because it's like, you know what?
I didn't I wasn't a perfect person.

(33:15):
And I contributed to
solely their own name, I guess. Yeah.
To put them in that situation.
I think this is very situationally basedand I think that generalizations
might not work out here. No, no, no. Yeah.
I generally I think anybody that doesanything about it is scum.
No. Yeah.
I just there's some people that havesome people that have actually
I don't know that they were thereand they murdered.

(33:37):
I mean I can't remember a I,
there's a scenario where the guy was therewhen the guy got murdered,
but he wasn't on that,actually pulled the trigger.
I got one for was there's this guy upon the episode of Forensic Files.
Love that show.
And he had a rap sheetand there's a bad egg.
But he legitimately got
jailed for a murder he didn't commit,and nobody was helping him.

(33:58):
And so he did, he basically got, like,
like a law degree in prison.
Like you.
Damn, I you didn't literally.
I don't think he literally had a lawdegree.
Yeah, he did a lot of a lot of studies.
He's going to Harvard.
Yeah.
And and that's what he used his downtimefor was, was reading the books
and in, making a case for himselfand then.

(34:18):
Yeah. Got himself out. Got himself out.
Edibles. Yeah. In his interview.
He's still, like, blocked the police.
Why wouldn't you. Yeah.Well no I'm not be.
Yeah I know.
Especially if you just beat themand you're out of jail.
He's like you motherfuckers.Yeah. Fuck you.
Forever. You, you.
Know, like fuck Isaiah.
That's the number one personwho's allowed to say fuck the police.

(34:40):
Yeah, for sure.
30 years early, a bad egg.
Yeah. It's a it's a situationwhere you can do that.
But this at the same timehe was also like a career criminal.
Yeah. But he's also like.
They say, it's no longerwhat they were there already.
They were so convinced they're. Alreadyfucking with his. Shit.
That's like.
That's what for for.
I'm not saying that those people deserveto be thrown away for something
they didn't do.
I'm just saying, like,if you're a criminal. Yeah, exactly.

(35:02):
I hear what you're saying.We just sound like we're.
We just sound like assholes be saying.
Yeah.
At the risk of, like, reiterating a bunch,we definitely understand what you mean.
Okay. What's next? What's the.
So what's the next guy?
It's actually a woman.
Oh, Elizabeth Bathory wise.
How do you.
How do you say it?
Well, there's, like.

(35:22):
I don't say baths. They say bat. Battery.
Yeah. Battery.Because she's Hungarian. Cool.
So they don't pronounce the as much there.
They're just battery.
Yeah. Yeah.
And, okay.
So she was again she was a,
she was a noble,
but nobles didn't necessarily,

(35:43):
well, let's, let's saythey were all jockeying for power
in this time and,
she's so she's accused of murdering upto up to 600 girls,
from her, from her castle.
Bathing in their blood.
Bathing in their blood, all that down.
But again, it's just one of those things.
It's like shield array.It's could be fabricated.

(36:03):
Very, very.
Likely fabricated.
Because 600 is a lot.
Yeah, that's an insane. It's a busy time.
You don't even get sick and tired of it.Yeah, a lot of.
A lot of the evidencethere is that was used against her was,
somethingsomebody had heard from somebody else.
It was never.
Kind of a friend of mine.
Yeah, exactly.
So, just enough.

(36:24):
Enough people didn't like her,
and they were in positions of enough powerto get her convicted.
And so she spent.
That's another thing.
Is he allegedly she spent her the rest ofher life bricked up in a tower.
Other people say she's basicallyjust under house arrest
and had free realm of the castle.
But anyways, so she's another one ofof histories called, quote, monsters.

(36:47):
So, you doing so what was she?
What was her title? What? She's just.
Just a girl in a castle.
Which houses?
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Cool. Yeah, yeah.
And they just. What?
They thought that she was eviland just had it over. Girls.
Well, that's what she's accused of.
Basically, that,
because she was, known as, like,one of the most beautiful women in Europe.
They were saying that her like.And so people were envious of her. Right.

(37:09):
And they were saying thatthat she was basically
like a witch who was like, stealing youthfrom young girls by baby in her blood.
Yeah, right.
They're like, oh, this is how she staysso young and beautiful.
She's like, sapping the life forcefrom, like, little peasant girls,
you know, by the hundreds.
And was like,can you name three? And it's like.
Maybe they could little peopleprobably did disappear.
That was who really disappeared there.
They went. Yeah.
All these people who accused her probablywere the ones who fucking did this shit.

(37:32):
And then laid. Down her easy scapegoat.
And there's no, like for TV. Yeah, yeah.
There's no anything.You just say word of mouth.
I heard that this happened.
Okay, well, we'll write that downas part of the facts
that we're building a case here.
She's height,so she's clearly doing something.
Yeah, yeah. Totally dissed.
Yeah. No, she came from a powerful family.
So people.
Politics.
Coming for them. Anyway, I just her.

(37:54):
I want to say her unclemaybe was the king of.
Hungary. That's it.
So that's pretty high.
She's from a power. Influential.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So,
yeah, people had
an interest inin bringing that family down.
So if you got to, you know,
pick up their various people and,and do it that way, they'll do it.

(38:15):
Yeah.
So literallyit's a literal Game of Thrones.
Yeah.
The Game of Thrones has absolutely nothingon medieval history.
No. That's like yeah, absolutely.
That's like the Disney version did.
In fact, I think that's whypeople are trying Thrones.
George R.R. Martin. Yeah.
He borrowed liberally from history.
Oh, I to mirror. To make the scenesin Game of Thrones.

(38:35):
Like Jesus.
Know, it seems like he'sso fucked up or whatever and perverted
and stuff, but like, dude,no, that's just how humans are.
Like, he's just talking abouthow medieval times were.
He's just.
There's no fucking rules, man.
Yeah.
Monsters and brawn and and swordand steel.
That's survival of the fittest. What?
Whatever you want, man.
There's nothing you can really, likedo to stop a guy with a sword.
You know, like a bunch of dudeswith swords and armor and stuff.

(38:57):
You fucked. Yeah.
Yes. Like,take what you need. Yeah. What you want?
Crazy, man.
Okay, I thinkwe're gonna go to our first break here.
Twitter for sponsored.
Dan, it's called history in me.
It's to find outif you are related to any villains.
It's, genetics.
Test online to find out if you're relatedto the worst people in history.
Villains.
And we canyou cycle that out to be good people?

(39:19):
No. Actually, there's just a filterthat basically makes sure that.
And it'll find the slightly less
worse people that you're related tountil you find the least worst person
you related to,which could be like your mother.
Eventually, at the end of the one.
My mother was terrible.
She was she was a saint. So.
Okay, well,then you probably find her last.
Okay. Perfect.
Okay. History in me, in me.
These are code crimes.These are my villains.

(39:39):
Use code triumph to get to 19% offabout your villains in me.
Thank you. Okay. Cheers.
Hello?
Please.
Well, that's disturbing to find outthat I'm related to.
The lead singer of Boston. Yeah.

(39:59):
Crazy, man. I had a feeling.
It turns out it was more.
Anyways,
I was like,where is he going with this? But,
Yeah. Loverboy.
So, Attacking. Me again.
So. But speaking of Boston,that's an interlude entirely way
into Bucky's internal interlude.

(40:22):
Yes, into way into.
Sounds like a tech company by entryway.
And Milton Bradley,is. Our sponsor into it.
You have a story about the manfrom Boston?
Well, I mean, it's, it's a theoryabout why he called himself,
which is that he had, hishe was living with his fiancee sister,

(40:43):
and she found a battery operated camerain her bedroom.
Oh, no. Admitted to planning it.
How old was she?
Oh. Oh, like.
Like an adult, but. Like.
Oh, so it was just more of, like a tomtom peeper.
Tommy peeper, peeping Tom.That's what I'm trying to say.
How it. It used to be he's.
He was being a perv, and he got caught.

(41:03):
And that was not very longbefore he himself.
What was his name?
Brad Delp.
Brad delp. Why? Why would.
Okay, that seems a little over the top.
Very fucking internationallike rock god legend.
Why can you not just gopeep at your neighbor?
Like, why doesn't he just have the egoto be like, yeah, I can be wherever.
While like, some of these guys like, sleep
with underage girlsand all kinds of creepy shit.

(41:25):
Lost ways of getting a boner,that's why he did it.
Really? So, yeah.
He's just.
I was like, damn.
There's a lot.
I guess because. He's a he's a pervert.
Spider wanted to spy on his girlupon his fiancee.
Sister, which is. Oh,I didn't realize. Hey, he knew there was.
Yeah, yeah.
So I guess.
Yeah, that.
Was that was the first part is it was his,he was living with his fiancee's sister,

(41:45):
and he planted a cat.Right. Bad idea to engine.
Yeah, it's really bad.
It was his fiancee. Their keep. Well,he planted a cam.
Okay, okay, okay.She would have found out.
This is different.
You said he is a peeping Tom.I expect him, he's,
like, out in the bushes,like peeking through a window.
Someone caught him in his house, right?
Do you know, in my life I'm like,okay, so set up a camera in your fiance.
Yeah, I think it's a little bit different.

(42:05):
Yeah, that's a little more premeditated.
A little bit more gross.
Yeah. And. Okay. Sure. Pretty good.
He had a problemand then he got depressed about it.
And your cat is licking my headincessantly. Yes.
They don't know. They don't know.That's why he did it.
It's just like.
But is that is that your story?
Well, yeah, I don't know.
Is that story like proven?
Yeah. Yeah.

(42:26):
He admitted to it and jeez. Yeah.
Because I'm a fan of, Bostonand I did not know that.
I know he did the old car in the garageand turn on the car.
Things brutal. Yeah, well,you lit a exhaust.
That was like a secondary measure.
And he lit a couple of charcoal barbecuesas well.
Jesus. Yeah,he was really making sure it got done.
And then, the other thing was, I remember.

(42:46):
Well, I know that, like,he actually had a long, hard road
to become Bostonor to to be successful with Boston.
And apparently,like he was trying for like a decade
and like all the recordlabels were just ignoring him.
And thesethey're they're very talented musicians.
Yeah.
And that last like the self-titled,I think it was,
was the was the first one releasedwith the biggest hits or whatever.

(43:08):
Anyways was his last ditch effort.
He's like,if this doesn't make it, I'm done.
They did it in like a basement.
It wasn't even in a record right there.
Their guitar guy is like really,really technically adept.
Yeah. And was able to like, yeah.
Make it work it. Crazy sound effects and.
It low budget.
Yeah they like I saw a documentaryone time where they like went to the house

(43:31):
that he used to live at and he was like,yeah, we recorded everything here.
And then there was just like,what the how?
Yeah, the. Person who ownedthe house is like, Holy. Shit.
That's incredible.
Yeah. Yeah.
I feel like Carly's going to.
Unplug some stuff. Fuck something up.
On their bed is getting real excited,and my head in my hand is literally like.

(43:54):
Yeah, she's a. Licker.
Yet from Carly's bed,I'm going to go wash my hand.
Okay, well, well, we'llwe'll keep talking.
So. You have to wait.
Just in silence.
The dead air, dead air, dead air.
And a tap running at a tap. Running. Yeah.
You're excused.
My hand is extremely wet.

(44:15):
It is like drinking a thirsty.
Yeah, it's.
She's neurotic.
That she loves your whatever cat animalyou have.
She loves it.
Yeah. She's all of at night.
It all is now, I don't.
Know, up on his headphones.
Come on. Crawl.
Why you got to ruin stuff all the time?

(44:35):
I just want him to be a part of meforever.
She's trying to wear them. It looks like.
Well, anyway, we should get back to her.
The peeping tom, the Tommy peeper.
The villains?Yes. The back. Yes. Of course.
Oh, yes. Of course.
So back to the villains.
Talk about oh, my.

(44:56):
From Boston, because we like.
Out in the break. Off. Yeah. Offline.
And then I'm like, wait, I because I,I thought I knew this whole story.
Oh no. No okay.
So no I won't tell that story,but it almost happen again.
Wait, wait what?
Tell it.
You have to tell it.
So, Doug, the new cat. Yeah.

(45:16):
He's, takes some pretty messy craps.
Yeah.
And he fucking hopped up on the coffeetable a couple of days ago
and, like, sat his anus down on my phone,and I was like, no.
And I.
Like, lifted him off, and there isa fucking fresh sea like, slide of shit.
On my phone.What? Yeah, it was disgusting,

(45:41):
bro. Doug.
Doug is the real villain.
Anyone who knows meknows I'm a bit of a germaphobe, so.
I literally just did her assright on his phone, right?
Yeah, it was literallyit was the same thing.
Luckily, she just flashed.
Can you stop her from getting in there,please?
Let's not forget
that's marijuana. Yeah.

(46:01):
That could be for Cass.
Nope.
I think a veterinarian would sayotherwise.
Damn it. Yes. Yeah.
Okay, okay,we're getting back into it, so.
All right, all right. So much bullshit.
You got off. The rails, off the rails.Grow up. Yes.
It's a shame.
You can't. It? Yeah, I know.
Wait, what? You can.
I you had a second guy down there.
You said you were going to potentially.Actually, you know what?

(46:22):
I rescind that one a little bitbecause Ivan the Terrible.
As terrible as he sounds, he was justmore like, you know, mighty and scary.
More so than terrible, really?
What did he. Do? Terrible is like.
Like awful and and not in a negative way,but more like awe inspiring.
Yeah. No.
Like terrifying. No. Yeah,I don't know. Yeah.
That'sthat's more where his name comes from.
Terrible. Like extreme. Great power.

(46:43):
Not not so much like.Oh, this is awful and terrible.
Next in Russian, he's Ivan Grozny,which is like, I'm.
Yeah, it's Ivan the Great exit.
Yeah. There we go. The great.It's like mighty or whatever. Yeah.
He has a terrible strength.
And for sure he was,
a murderer.
He was. He was violent.
He killed his own son.
There's like a famous,
I don't think of him holding a swordafter he clubbed him to death.

(47:04):
Yeah, that's the.
Why do you think that they say it was he?
Yeah. Because he. He was prone to rage.
But wasn't that that that's athat's another.
It's another thing that I was saying
is just like word of mouthseparate the myth from the man.
And, was he any more?
Was he any more terriblethan anybody else who lived in his age?
Yeah, maybe slightly, but not like.

(47:26):
I mean, people.
Think how many
dudes were not kings or lords or anything,but they beat the shit out of their kids
and familiesand were drunk all the time and stuff.
It's like they would have been villainsif they had had power.
Probably if they had a title, you know?
But like,
these were just the people
who were running uncheckedwith nobody to stop them, basically.
Right. Well,and they just lived. In a lot of.
Cases in a violent timewhere they're jockeying for power.

(47:47):
So he threw offwhat they called the Tatar yoke, which is,
the Mongols still ruled, Russiaat this time, essentially.
Right.
They they directly controlled an area.
It's the in the south.
And then there were little Russian statesin the north, and he ruled one of them.
And he basically
beat off the Mongols

(48:08):
that.
Yeah, whatever he had. To do,he fought them off.
He fought them off.
And he really, really expanded, Muscovy,which was,
what he ruled.
Okay.
Well, it wasn't that it wasn'tit wasn't terrible in the sense
that, like, he's a villain,it was just terrible. And this is.
Yeah, that's more where the trans.
I learned that before I came in.So I was like, maybe not gonna.
You just tell me you assume he's a bad guywith a name like that?

(48:28):
Ivan the Terriblesounds like. Yeah, he sounds like he.
He's closer to about viaThe Impaler or something like that. Right.
But Ivan, the adequate. Yeah.
I'm actually looking at a boring siteto make sure I didn't.
Ivan the firm, but fair. No, it's good.
That heard fair.
Yeah, this guy's firm, but he's fair.
Yes. But, yeah, if you like youryour feet, I mean, you can go back to his

(48:51):
to his time.He's a contemporary of Elizabeth.
The first one was a bit.
The first wasn't particularly pleasant.
It. Who's that? Like the queen? Yeah.
Why wasn't she pleasant?
Oh, beheadings.
Or is that.Am I getting Alice in Wonderland?
She beat Henry the Eighth.
She beheaded Mary, Queen of Scots.
The Scots posed a threat to her.

(49:12):
So she just had to deal with.
Mostly because she uncovered a plotthat Mary, Queen of Scots was part of.
But yes.
So the reason she was, she.
Like,
a good,a good ruler at this time was ruthless.
I was going to say, yeah, it'sso like that.
Not for her to call them
like monsters back then, because,like, it's even, like, right now.

(49:32):
How you could say a president is ruthlessin that.
He, like, presses a button
and a bunch of fucking drone bombskill a bunch of people, right?
That's pretty fucking gnarly. It's awful.
But at the same timeit's like, well, that's his job.
Also, you had exact decisions.
We expect him to do that shitbecause he's in that role, right?
The King is going to.
When somebody fucks up in a capital way,somebody's head is going to roll right?

(49:53):
That's that's their job, right?
They're expected to behead peoplewho are going to commit treason.
Put stuff in a tie.
So Elizabeth was a female rulerin a man's.
World, so she got to be overcompensatingfor how fucking.
Vicious there is.
There is a lot going on.
Like, there's still a lot of Catholicsin England that wanted a Catholic ruler.
Right.

(50:13):
And she was a Protestant, right?
It was, you know,she was surrounded by conspiracies.
I wonder how much blood has been spilledover Catholic versus Protestant millions.
Yeah. In the 30. Millions of blood in.
The 30 years War alone,possibly like 3 to 7 million people.
And primarily in Germany
and. Terrible.
Yeah, yeah, that's a lot.Time to be alive.

(50:36):
God, yeah. What are you.
Do you just looking over your shoulder
the whole timeand just trying to keep straight?
What you do,I assume, is try not to instantly look up.
Try not. To get God massacred.
By marauding Swedes.
Yeah, or other foreign armies.
Or are you just, like rest,knowing that you are,
you know,you believe that you're going to heaven,
and so it's fine that you're goingto get decapitated really soon.
Yeah.This was just all for the next level.

(50:57):
Yeah.
There is the the so the the reason I saidthe Swedes is they, they were known for,
funneling, urine down people's throatsand then, like, burning them alive.
Right.
Well, I mean.
And torturing people.
That sounds highly undesirable.
So it would make me not want to fightthe Swedes.
They were like.
A formidable force at the time.

(51:19):
Yeah. So, yeah, it would.
So is there a purpose behind that?
You see, like mid battlefield,these tiny guys like.
Gorgeous fire. Terror because it's.
Yeah because it's.
The 30 Years Warwas Protestant against Catholic.
And would they carry jugs of pissor was it like peeing in their mouth. No.
Like no nothis is like. We carry piss. But you know,
well, obviously you get stage fright.

(51:40):
It's like like people who are captured,I think.
Well, they're fake.
No, I don't think these dudes got stagefright.
No. He's like, I let it go.
I take it the flow go like that.
But you just wait there.Keep your mouth open.
Half of themcan't afford pants in the first place.
Who cares if maybe they didn't?
Maybe they didn't do the p thing,like en masse, but they get it,
amongst other horrible things.
And obviously enough that it wasfamous enough to, like, be a deterrent.

(52:03):
It was. Yeah, I don't want to getit was too loud virus.
It was to inspire terror.
Yeah. I mean, that's pretty.
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty workable.Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Damn. Yeah.
If you just heard of a guythat this happened
to, you'd be like, oh my God.
Yeah, it might be the worst thingyou've ever heard,
because it's not like you've heardall the other terrible things.
Like, we know all sorts of terrible things
that have gone downbecause of the terror web.
Yeah.
At the time, it's just only whateveryou and your friends have thought of

(52:25):
in your short life of 20 yearsor whatever the.
Fuck, and your small community. Right?
And so when someone says, yeah,apparently this is what the Swedes
do, you're like, oh my God, that'sactually the worst thing I've ever heard.
Yeah, yeah.
Because of how I when you have heardanything worse than that. Yeah.
Oh, and they rape all of our womenand burn our cities down.
Oh, that's a good wayto get us to hate them
and definitely try to kill themevery time we see them. Yeah.

(52:46):
Or like we should probably surrenderour town instead of making them see us
for months, right? Exactly.
Maybe this will go easier if we.
It was like that was athat was a Mongol thing.
The Mongols sieges
while the Mongols had a policy,where they would like come up to a city.
Mongols are either submit or don't write.
The Mongols like like.
Genghis Khan. Yeah, okay. So

(53:08):
they had a policy where, like,they'd come up to a city.
Yeah. And they'd be like, surrender to us.
And we will simply just make you pay taxesand you can live the your lives
as you choose. Join us or be slaughtered.
But if you don't surrender to us, we'llannihilate your city
and everyone living within the wallsand fill you.
Flip this.
Very off. That's.
That's the Swedes.
Oh, right. Right, right.Yeah. We'll feel like this.

(53:30):
We'll fill you. Philip is.What did he say. At the end?
They go listen to him.
Yeah. I'll surrender the street.
Once they get in, it's like,yeah, you know, I was fine.
Let's think about fighting back upuntil the last thing.
Yeah.
Those helms they're wearinglook a lot like the bundles. So,
like,
plenty of plenty of cities,took their chances.
Yeah. Paid for it.

(53:51):
Takes a chance. Yeah.
Hubristic leader would be like, fuck you.
You're a bunch of barbarians,and we're going to slaughter you.
And then they just get owned by these,like, horseback archers.
They did this in Baghdad in 1258.
They try to resist the cow.
The Caliph himself was like, no, no.
And if you don't.
Caliph isthe caliph is like, Islamic pope.
Okay. Ali.

(54:12):
The religious king in the area.
Yeah.
So anyways, he was like, he was like nay.
And then the Mongols got enough and sackedBaghdad.
Killed, sacked dad right in the bag.
So, yeah, we. All of them.
They destroyed the city.
They killed, oh.
Well, this is probably an exaggeratednumber again, but, like, up to 2 million.

(54:35):
People, do they? Any million. Right.
The House of wisdom, which was a biglibrary and university and,
they destroyed
everything in what's now Iraq,like all the all the,
irrigation infrastructure that beenbuilt up over thousands of years.
But notably, they took the caliph
and they put him in a leather sackand they stormed it to death with horses.

(54:57):
Holy. So, yeah.
That's a brutal way to go. Easy, old.
I mean, I mean, he's 34.
That's pretty. Old. That's be that is it?
I don't think he was.
I don't think it's very young,but I don't know.
I don't know how old he was.It's just like, that's what.
That's what they did. They stopped him.I mean, forces.
That's not the worst way to go.
I mean, that's terrible,but it's not the worst way to go.
Getting beaten to death could becould be worse.

(55:18):
Right? Yeah.
As in those days. Yeah.I like to say can to.
Unless the horse just, like,stepped on his junk a bunch of.
Times, you're gonna get missing vital.That's how he died.
Oh my God. Yeah. My joints.
It's like being. Broken on the wheel.
I mean, it's it'svery, very fucked up and horrible, but
hopefully he just got nailed in the headat some point in life. Is it. Yeah.
And then just like out.
Rather than, like there'sa lot of as we know, I just know a baby.

(55:40):
It's the people have died.But picture like an attack.
Like an old like man, innocent old man.
And you just shoving them in a bagand he's all frail and it's.
Just like he's innocent.I think he's a like a religious.
He sacrificed his cityfor, like, his bride.
Yeah. His pride. Yeah. Okay.I guess he deserved the biggest.
He he just weighed.
He just weighed his options and was like.
Now we can withstand this Mongol horde.

(56:00):
That land was wrong.Yeah. Baghdad was like.
Like one of the mightiest citiesin the Islamic world at the time.
So it was like.
That was he had, like, a 2% chance.
No, he probably thought he had, like,I thought.
He had a one. Hundred percent chance.
I was like, I got my fucking city here.Are you kidding me?
Who are you pushing around rightnow? Yeah.
Fucking greatest city in the region.
Like, are you fucking with me?
And then they were like,yeah, we were going to kill you.

(56:21):
And they did. Yeah.
The Mongols had already conqueredChina and took all their like
they had, like Chinese.
Chinese, like siege engineers.
And I know unaware to this guy.
Probably he probably didn'tlike, comprehend what that meant.
Yeah. Right.
Like that.
The math.
These guys have the technologyof multiple nations coming against us
because they have conqueredpreviously, right. We have scary.
Yeah. And also you have slingshots.

(56:43):
And also he's the leader of his religion.
And so he's probably like gods on my side.Yeah.
That's a major source of hubris.
Thing to God won't let this happen. Yeah,
but God did God.
And he. Got absolutelygot it up. In a bag.
You can step in now. Anytime.
God is, like, getting crunched.Yeah, yeah.
You're just in a bag,and it's happening for a reason.
Yeah, yeah, I read the region,and the region never really, recovered.

(57:07):
Naturally.
No, it never goes to, like,a fucking, like, main power, ever.
He didn't catch up for centuries,and it's just been.
Not fully necessary.
But do you know what year this happened?
In 1258?
Okay, well,there you go. Very good. Yeah, yeah.
1258. Crazy, It's a little while ago.
Yeah.
So. And it's never.
So that's over

(57:30):
like 800 years. 800 years.
Yeah. Ish.
Jesus Christ. Yeah.
I mean, like,what I mean by it, it's never recovered.
Is is. Yes.
They rebuilt and they.
Were neverthey never regained their like power as.
A exactly like aas a. World power like that.
Yeah. Right. Right.
They just became part of one empire
or another or endsin throughout the 20th century.

(57:51):
They're just not one of the forefrontcountries like they were.
Yeah.
And probably we know that we knowthe story of Iraq in the 20th century.
Right. So yeah, it's a it's a sad one.
It's it's yeah. Yeah.
Oh, Ethan, 21st,I should say it's not very spooky either.
So you have how many people do you have?
That are bad.
These are pretty. Good list, right?Yeah. Yeah.

(58:12):
I mean, like. Let's go to another.
I was gonna, I was,
I thought maybe you guys had some in mindthat you wanted to ask about or.
I'm not. I was your cereal shit, man.
I had, a couple of them.
We started last episode.
I screwed up because I thoughtthat Matthew Bagby was like.
Like the hanging judge.I thought that he was,
like, a super racist guy,but I and like, a cult colonizer.
But turned out
that he was actually one of the most fairjudges to the native people.

(58:35):
Oh, okay.
It turned out.
Yeah, it seemed likehe was one of the few people
to like one of the first judgesto actually, like, hang a white man
who was guilty and, like, instead of,you know, taking this other side.
And he,he hung a bunch of corrupt chiefs as well.
He hung like six chiefs or something.
It was partially why he was like, peoplethought that he was a bad guy and stuff.
But it's like it turned outthat those guys were like really corrupt.
And, you know, it just seemed likehe was like, there's a fair dude.

(58:58):
He was the first, judge to,
and we said this in the previous podcast.
Now I'm just telling you, but,
but but
he was with the one of the first peopleto, like, let people swear on an item
that wasn't the Bible, like,one of their own spiritual relics,
which I think is actually like, that's notnecessarily like Mister good guy thing.
That's just logical judge stuff.
Because why would you want somebodyto swear on something that they're.
Yeah.

(59:18):
Find on sacred like,oh sure, I'll swear on the Bible.
I reallyI think this is a bunch of bullshit.
Yeah, it's nothing to me,so it's easy to swear on it.
But what if I swear on thislike relic that I think is.
Actually, like, spiritual, mean. Serious?
Then maybe I'll tell the truth, right?
So anyway, you can you.
Can be tough and not sinister.
Yeah, right.
Like you don't have tonecessarily be an evil monster,
but it is likelike I said, it's his job to mete out,

(59:41):
justice.
Right?
So, like,if people are legit doing something wrong
and they require hanging,that's what he did, you know, it's like.
So you're saying he's like, pretty woke?
It seemed like he was actually.One of them, right?
Yep. Yeah. Especially for the time.
Yeah. Like he was one of the few peoplewho actually kind of.
Was it's like the 1870 or.
Regardless of.
Racist 18. 80s early Victoria.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah.

(01:00:02):
Anyway, so you're with him. Yeah. Vaguely.
Yeah. I've been on the ghost toursand stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh my history from that. Oh. Okay.
So what's the next one?The next one on the list.
We got time for like, 1 or 2 more,I think. Bro.
Okay. Well, I mean, like Joseph Stalin.
Oh, dude.
Yeah, that's that'swhen when I actually think of the worst
human ever to have lived.I think that's probably it.

(01:00:22):
Joseph Stalin,is he related to Rocky Balboa?
Why would you say that?
Because with the can'tremember the damn first name.
Is he related to Stallone?
Oh my God, dude. Wow.
I try with a lot of luck.
I didn't even.Know what those two. You know, I would.
I never thought like, oh,that that's where you were going with it.
But anyways, so. I Simpsons, I would say.

(01:00:43):
No, they're not related
because Stalin means Man of Steeland it's a nickname, and Sylvester.
Stallone means Sylvester of Steel.
Oh, no. I'm just kidding. It's a ring.
It's, it's a revolutionary namethat he had that he adopted.
Like Lenin.
Lenin was not Lenin's. Leningrad actual.
The last name, right?
No. Stalin to me is.
And Hitler, obviously.

(01:01:04):
Those two.
Yeah,they're probably like scariest people.
Would you ever.
Who ever lived because, I mean, like,you've got terrifying serial killers. Who.
What year was this? Was Stalin around?Is I'm going to be.
A contemporary of Hitler.
Yeah. Right. So.
So like the 50s.
He ruled he ruled the Soviet Unionfrom the late 20s to his death in 1953.

(01:01:26):
Okay.
And he, he was like,he worked alongside Hitler.
No. Wow. How do we use literally?
He's the leader of Russia.
Oh, yeah. Against. Yeah. Yeah, actually,I think. Hitler's Germany at the.
Stalin's were they were in cahoots.
But Hitler.
Made a mistake. Invaded the Soviet Union.
So they they think no.
Longerthey were no longer in cahoots. Right.

(01:01:46):
Yeah.
They were like bitter, bitter enemies.
They just made, peace with each other.
That suited both of them.
Right.
It's the Molotov-Ribbentrop pactwhere they basically were like,
we won't attack each otherand we'll divide Poland
and the rest of Eastern Europe, agree.
To disagreeso that we don't destroy each other.
Yeah.
And, Russia sensible.
And Russia will supply Hitler with oil

(01:02:09):
and all the other,you know, resources that they need.
So why is he the number one villain?What did he do?
I've never really done anything.
Stalin. Okay.
No, I like I've heard of himand I've heard it
like I know he's like the old Putin, but.
Oh, you've heard of the gulags, right?
Yeah.
So he created the Gulag Archipelago.
Okay.
Which is a namethat, Solzhenitsyn gave it because he was

(01:02:30):
there, right as a prisoner.
It was like a camp,
a series.
A series of camp.
Yeah. Archipelago is like a group of manytiny islands.
Okay, break it down a little bit.
Just for the for the regular.
The Gulag system was ait was a system of, work, prisons.
Work camps. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
And and they would put them insome of the most inhospitable places

(01:02:52):
that what the area.
So there were lots of places in the SovietUnion that were just Arctic wastelands,
let's say they wanted a mine
or they wanted to startlike a logging camp or a home or.
Yeah, close to the globe. Yeah.
Anyways, they'd they'd imprison people.
And Stalin gave the authoritiesquotas of people to, arrest.

(01:03:12):
Right.
So you had to make up a bunch of bullshitforever.
Charges. Yeah. Yeah.
And and slavery, essentially.
Yeah.
So it was North Korea before North Korea.
There he. Set up North Korea.
Ratherhe put somebody in charge of doing that.
But, you know, he created North Koreais modeled after, Stalin's Soviet Union.

(01:03:32):
Okay.
So that's why it's terrifying.
Yeah. And he's and he's terrifying.
Because you'll see if you look at hisgovernment in his early days,
those people are not alive.
Like ten years later,he purged them in, like, the late 1930s.
So he would always just, like,
cycle out his own peopleand just murder the fuck out of anybody

(01:03:53):
who said the wrong thing.
And he was just paranoid, ultra,ultra paranoid, like the
the capital most paranoid guyyou could ever imagine.
He thought everybody was tryingto get him, and so he would just.
Murder clean slate.
He actually is like, ironically,possibly why he died.
Because he had,
he had a stroke or some kind of

(01:04:13):
brain thing.
Aneurysm. Yeah.
Anyways, he, he was in his DACA and he,
Yeah.
Yeah, he had a medical issue and peoplewere too afraid to open the door.
They were knockingand knocking and knocking,
and he was laying thereon the couch for hours.
He like or on the floor rather.
He had pissed himself and he was like,not there.

(01:04:36):
He might have been able to have been savedhad they been not terrified
of being basically executedfor opening and disturbing him. Well.
And and the think the other thing too, ishe had been persecuting doctors
just before this. Jesus.
So somebody. Wants to be like, hi,I'm a doctor.
I'm here in front of Joseph Stalin. Yeah.And they ran.
They were ringing his phone.They were knocking on his door.
They were too afraid to come in.

(01:04:57):
And he was probably just like hearing itall, but, like, slowly dying.
He couldn't do anythingbecause. He was stroking out. Yeah, yeah.
And so they put him on that, they put himon the couch and called in some doctors,
and it was a team of doctors who werebasically shitting themselves because,
there.
Yeah, yeah.
You could just point it.
Well, they were afterthey were being threatened.
There's a guy, a guy named LavrentiyBeria, who's the head of the,

(01:05:19):
the NKVD, which became the KGB.
Okay. Yep.
He was, like, threatening the doctors.
Probably.
Like, if you don't save this guy,our leader right now,
your whole family is going to diein terrible ways.
And they're like, fuck yeah.
Beria, got arrested and executedjust after Stalin died.
He only he only lasted like he did.
All this main man who.
Did last the rest of the year, who's.
That. Area?

(01:05:41):
So who or who was he?
He was added,he was the head of the secret police.
Okay.
Why it and why he. Washe was a monster in his own right.
Yeah.
Some people, like,they rose up after Stalin died, kind of.
And took them.
No, no, no, no.
So there was a bit of jockeying for powerafter Stalin died.
Okay.
So within his own, his own, Cabinetor whatever.
Yeah. Yeah.

(01:06:01):
So there itthere's a bit of a power struggle area.
Had hoped to be the new leader.
And everybody else in the cabinethated him.
That was like.
So they have him side.They had him arrested and shot.
So yeah,
he didn't he didn't live out the yearafter after Stalin died.
And he probably knew was coming for him.

(01:06:22):
He would have suspected. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
But he would have been also.
Trying to grab the power for.
Himself, taking steps to.
Yeah,but he didn't have a whole lot of support
because he was a horrible,horrible human being.
And he,
delighted in tormenting the other guysjust as much Stallard did,
because he was in Stalin's favorand he could do it.

(01:06:42):
And then and papa stopped.
A bully went away, and he's like,oh, shit, now I have nobody.
Now the bully is.
Yeah, I'm in trouble. Afraid.
You know.
Barry, I used to, have women, like,taken off the streets and brought to them
so you could rape them. Like, God. Yeah.
And like when they.
Because when they.
When they dug up his, like, garden,there were, like, bodies in it.
Oh, my God. I use them.He was a monster, too.

(01:07:02):
Oh, like killed them after too.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh. Or let them out. Oh.
But like, most likely like, you know,he had no reason to let them live.
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
Just no regard.
Stock. Stalin. Stalin imprisoned his his,
his his his, officials wives.
Yeah. Like just like he.

(01:07:23):
He'd to keep them at complete control.Right.
Like I have your wife and a.
Huge. His personal.
Do what I say.
Yeah.
Personal secretary'slast name was, prescribe a chef.
He imprisoned his wife on charges of.
Head treason or some. Yes.
Bullshit.
Yeah. And,
the guy really wanted her
let out,and Stalin was just basically like.

(01:07:45):
Because he was.
He loved her.
It was the legit, you know, romance. Yeah.
Anyways, Stalin just said, don't don'tworry, we'll get you a new one.
And then.
After which. Yeah. What? Yeah.
Why wasn't you just, like,just let her out? And.
Because he's a monster. Yeah.
There's. Yeah.
Controlling peoplewith psycho psychological horror.
This is your new wife. And it's like.
But but he had, allegedly there were,elevators going because the Kremlin is,

(01:08:10):
it's where his main.
It's like the residencewas. Right. Okay. Yeah.
Or like the white House.
Okay.
But, like, mixed in with the Pentagon.
Okay.
So he.
The Kremlin has apartments that,if you're high enough in the government,
you live in one of these apartmentsthat he had allegedly elevator
that would lead into their their,like, closets, like their walk in closets.

(01:08:33):
Yeah.
Where he could send the secret police inthe middle of the night without anybody.
See you.
That's horrific.
Wanted to take you.
Yeah. Did they know? Horrifying.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Like. Like the.
What's that trap door? Like.
Like an elevator in the closet.I'm not going to ask questions.
I'm just going to really behave myself.
Right. Yeah. And.
Yeah.
No, hehe murdered millions of his own people.

(01:08:55):
How many people do youthink died because of Stalin?
Well, some people have said 30 million.
That's when you include, like, faminesand things.
30 million.
You think about how many people?
1000 people is. Yeah.
30 million.
30,000 to 2000 people times 30.

(01:09:16):
Really?
30 million might be it might be a highmark, but millions through famine.
Unreal.
Indirectly at the very least in the highhundreds of thousands, for being shot.
Just direct bullets. Yeah.
And then World War two, which is
not, you know.
His fault entirely. Not entirely.

(01:09:38):
But in World War Two, the SovietUnion lost, like, 27 million people week.
So you attack what Stalin tookfrom the Soviet Union along with that.
And I think Russia stillRussia still has demographic problems.
I heard a figure shit Nazi long ago.
And it was something like three quarters
of all the man born in the Soviet Unionin 1923 were dead by 1945.

(01:10:03):
Three quarters. Holy shit.
Yeah, yeah.
So if you're a descendant from that,you're lucky.
Yeah. I guess so. But, I mean, like, if.
You really look like it'sit's like 3 to 1 women over there. Hey.
You'd be like,if I, I'd be like, looking at, I think I
maybe talked about this the last timethere's the, population trees.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it'll be a tree.

(01:10:25):
It'll be a tree in the sensethat, like, older, older people are,
represented at the top and it expands outas there are more younger people.
Of course.
Etc., etc.
and one at one, the left half is men,the right half is women.
Well, after the First World War,
if you look at the populationtrees of Germany and France, for instance,

(01:10:45):
there's going to be a huge gouge out the,the male side.
Yeah. Because they are all war dead.
Yeah.
You're going to see you're goingto see that of Russia too, right.
The Second World.
War firsta massive scoop out of the male side.
Oh my god.
Yeah. And I think so.
Like I think if we're talkingabout the worst people of all time,
I think
because there's a bit more humanity,you would think in the 40s than back

(01:11:08):
in the prehistoric, like prehistoricback in the, like the medieval times.
So that's I think that adds a level of,oh, you I think.
But the 1940s iswhen we had industrial death camps.
Yeah, exactly.
That's that's what I mean.
But you think we're evolvedenough at that point
to at least have some sense of humanity?
We're back in medieval times, it was like,
yeah, you could blame it on the cavemanbrain, but so that's why I it's not.

(01:11:29):
That long ago and listen like.
Yeah, well,you're talking about caveman brain.
We are still in the cave.Oh yeah. There is.
There has been no evolution since then.
There's been not enough time. But like.
Yeah, I'm just saying in the fact of likethere's from 1200 when whoever that
whatever to 1940 you'd expectsome level of evolution with humanity.
You would hope. But it didn't happen.

(01:11:50):
No. We're saying yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,of course, of course.
I'm just saying that that'swhy it's extra fun.
So if you're ever in like,like, say, a medieval history class.
Yeah.
One thing
that I think probably every professorwould instill in the in the students.
Yes, yes.
Remember that these people are every bitas complicated as you or I.

(01:12:10):
Yeah.
They just look at the worldwith a completely different world view,
like they they see thingsmuch differently than we do.
Why wouldn't you? That'sthey're in a different reality.
Yeah. Separated by 800 years. Yeah.
And there are things that are much moreimportant to them than would be to us.
Right.
There are things that we know of thatthey don't. Right.
They don't know. About. That's what I meanessentially. Yeah, exactly.

(01:12:32):
That's where I'm coming.
They don't know about germs.
They don't know about exactamazing amounts of stuff.
That's to understand. Right.
And so everything's motivated differently.
Because we were talking on a podcast.And C is lower. So.
Oh yeah.
It's like you'retrying to get as much done in less time.
We were talking aboutwho the worst person in the world
was on like a few,and that's where Allerdale came from.
And and I.
Who did I say?
I said other the Scientology guy,what's his name are.

(01:12:52):
L l l Ron. Hubbard.
Yeah. I'm like,that's the worst guy in the world.
He's like, you think that's where's the Hfor I can't remember.
The guy's listening to some stand upcomedian.
It's just like, you know why L Ron Hubbardcan't be a can't be a religious figure
is because he had to stand in lineto the had the DMV.
He got to get a license plate.
That's hilarious.
What kind of religious figure is that?

(01:13:13):
It's just a guy. He's just a human.
Yeah, just a guy. Just a fucking guy.
That even guy who my dad will tell youwrote horrible science fiction books. My.
Yeah, my dad on the book store.
Cuts 100 Ron Hubbard writing
horrible science fiction booksand then creating a horrible, like,
not even that cool religion. Yeah,that was his.
Way to go. Well, he was.
It was failing.
So he started targeting rich celebritiesand then it took off.

(01:13:35):
Perfect. Because the rich.
Okay, sir.
That's really kind of dumb. Yeah, yeah.
Pradip touch.So why did. You say Brad Pitt?
Why do you want to just, like,do you think he's a Scientologist? Yes.
No, you're Tom cruise. Yeah.
This one. I'm saying.
One thing. I Tom cruise in it. Yeah.
I, I don't want to spread,you know, gossip to your millions of fans.

(01:13:55):
Yeah. I don't want Brad Pitt happening.
I didI did hear something about Brad Pitt.
That's kind of gross.
Oh, here we go.
Is what he was doing.
Inglorious bastards. Yucky.
Eli Roth taught him the, the benefits
of of not showering all the timeand just using, like, baby wipes.
Oh, and so he just uses, like.
To this day.
With, like, baby wipes. Largely. Yeah.

(01:14:17):
What's wrongwith. That? It's a little hot.
He's pretty be pretty stinky. Like,if you're. Not, you're.
Not having, like, a proper shower.
You're just baby wiping his off.
Dude, it's better than not.
If you can't have a shower, than you dothe baby wipes.
Okay, but here's another thing.
Even if it is like cleaning you perfectly,you still smell like a giant baby.

(01:14:38):
Like, would you?
Not if that they're scented.
Yeah, but it's scented.
Like the wipes. It's not scentedlike baby.
I don't know, it's looking around, like,smell.
Like flowers or whatever. It's.
I bet what babies smell like.You know, it's been. Around a lot of.
What you're saying. Post wipe that. It's,it's it's crazy.
It's like diaper smell kind of.
Yeah. In the fuck are you guys sorry?Yeah.

(01:14:58):
Rabbit smells like.
I smell like babies.You know, the guy just.
What the hell's going on?
I think I just got myself, like.
But I'm like a police watch list.
That's awesome for that.
Oh. Because I was like,I don't read a lot of babies post life.
Yeah. Mr. hitman, why did you say that.
And why did you circle back to it?
Also, I wasn't even thinking about it,Jesus Christ.

(01:15:20):
Because I want to turn it off for.
Him to address it for the RCMPshowed up at.
Brad Pitt's gonna show up before the RCMPtotally exist.
Oh, God, I smell like.
Okay, well, I was a fun one. Like a baby.
Is there any other, bad guysthat you want to talk about?
You want to talk about any serial killersor. Yeah, that's the other thing. Right?
So it's that's that's the like.
I was talking to you, Randy craft,a couple weeks ago.

(01:15:41):
What do you think about like, okay, evilpeople, how do you measure evil?
Right.
Like, this person didn't have influence,
but they did as much evilas they possibly could with what they had.
So that person,if they were on a throne of some sort
or in a position of power,like Stalin or somebody,
what nightmarish fucking worldwould that look like, right?
So like maybe they are more evil,but they didn't have as much power.

(01:16:01):
Richard Ramirezif you had like, Legion armies.
Yeah, right.
There actually is a psychopathy scale.
Okay.
Who, who rated really high onit was our boy Clifford Olson.
Yeah.I was going to say I bad. Yeah, yeah.
You rank that guy really. High on. It.
Did we talk about that on the podcastone time about how my grandpa, like,
caught him now?

(01:16:22):
Oh. Clifford olson yeah.
Him what? Not.
Okay, so you know. This Clifford Olson is.
A serial killer.
Yeah. Killed, like, 11 kids or something.
Yeah, like, was any kind of the same timeas, like, John Wayne Gacy ish?
I don't know, Saint.
Yeah, yeah.
So John Wayne Gacy,I think it was almost the same triad.
There's a conspiracythat they all knew each other.
And they're really probably notfor little boys. It's a conspiracy.

(01:16:42):
It's called the girl anyway, beyond,you know.
But Clifford Olson was over in Vancouvermainland.
Yeah. He's more local. Yeah.
Yeah.
So I don't think he had anything to dowith those American serial killers.
But anyway, he was basically my.
My grandpa was policechief of Port Moody at the time.
Oh, cool.
Or he was a dog cop at the time,but he eventually became police chief.
But anyway, whatever he.
So he was like they were searching for himbecause he had committed some robbery

(01:17:05):
or something. Like nothing.
Even there wasn't even for anything scary
like child related or anything murderrelated. Right.
And, he was going with his dog.
Tiger big,
and he was just going along and,
apparently he was like, they had combedthis forested area over and over and over.
They're almost going to give up
and then his dog starteddigging at this pile of leaves,
and they found him,like, underneath a pile of leaves.

(01:17:27):
And the guy had, like, pissed himself andwas like, crying and being, look at this.
Dog off me, looking freaking out like,go now. Is still a little bitch.
And that was Clifford Olson.
But he had just it was just for
my grandpa told me he's like,I would have shot him right in the head
right there if I didn't knowwhere he was going to go on to do.
He's like, I wouldn't have cared.
I wanted to show him straight in his head,
but I didn't know what he was going to goon to kill kids, so they like.
So I been arrested.This was before they arrested him.

(01:17:47):
But I've also got a connection to him.
Oh my God.
So our sponsor is paying off.
That's right.
So my mom.
Yeah, she is a teenager. Yeah.
She was walking home with her bike.
She was almost at her apartment buildingand this guy pulled up
in a station wagon filled with,like, art supplies in the back.

(01:18:08):
And he basically was like,you want you want a ride home?
And, she was like, no, I'm.
I'm fine, I'm good.Stranger danger. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And,
he just kept he kind of nagged her a bit.
Yeah. And she was like, nope, I'm good.
And then she, like, crossed,like some grass or something
to get to the building.To get away. From him.
And so she goes to the building's,bike cage.
Right. And there's a door there.

(01:18:31):
So she goes in the door, closes it,she hears a knock at the door, and she,
I guessshe told me she thought it was her sister.
Right.So she opened the door and it's him.
And he was like, I really think, like,we could be friends and like,
still trying to get her.
And so she was like,
slammed the door, dropped her bikeand ran up into her apartment.
Smart. And,

(01:18:51):
and she she figures it was him.
Right.
We're fairly certainit was him or she is, because,
well, obviously later he became quiteinfamous, and she was reading about him
one time because she always thoughtthere was something familiar about him.
And it's.
He was in Victoria, right at the time,and he was driving around
a station wagon with similar bunchof art supplies in that.

(01:19:13):
Car, like so.
With that being said,have you seen so that I mixed it up?
Okay, not the same guy
that was in the same circles,John Wayne Gacy I actually like watched
like three years ago.
I CBC like one hour special.
It was like super Canadian,super low budget.
And I think it was done inlike the early 2000 about Clifford Olsen.
Okay. Have you. Seen that?
And there's like people on thatthat had firsthand accounts.

(01:19:34):
I wonder if your mom was on that.I was just one.
No, no, no, no, she didn'tprobably would have been use.
But there is,there is like, an addendum there
with my mom ended upworking for the attorney general.
Right. Later. Yeah. And,
there wasa payment made to Clifford Olsen's family
for him revealing information,and it was, like $10,000 per victim.
So it was like,that. Was a big part of the scandal.

(01:19:56):
He got him, and he secretly, like,they tried to make it.
They tried to put it under wraps,but they gave his family out
like $110,000 for him to.
Like, admit to things. Yeah.
And, like, tell her bodies were and stuff.
I was just talking about that earlierwith my mom because we talked about this
and she said, you know,
there was a lot of like, scandal overthe fact that they paid him.
But I was thinking about itand I was like, yeah, it sucks,

(01:20:18):
but they're trying to mitigate the damagebecause they're on one hand,
he has no reason to tell what's going onother than his weird, sick pride.
Right. And they want to find outfor the sake of the victims what happened.
And they want to stop hemorrhaging moneyon the case.
They want to stop spending all this moneyon cops and detectives and forensics
and everything, trying to fucking.Find these. People when they may never.
And so instead, it's like, let's paythe 100 grand and be done with it.

(01:20:40):
Everyone now, like, it's.
It's not like his family took part in it.It's either they're probably.
No. You know, they're.
Also devastate.
Their victims too. Yeah.
But so what does my story was
she had it like,
I can't remember exactly what she said.
Your mom.
Yeah.
Basically that she had to, like,cut a check for, like, $110,000.
They didn't have a name on it.

(01:21:00):
And when she went to ask, like whatthis was for, she was told to shut up,
you know, and then it was laterin the news, payment for.
110, the. Amount.
Cliff also, so nothing, without.
The AP thing to almost have been redacted,abducted potentially by this guy
and then have to, like,
actually sign off on the checkbecause that's your job to, like.

(01:21:21):
Now that's out now.
So none of that is like.
It's not for sureit's worth talking. About.
It's like 90%.
It's like you.Can kind of like figure that out.
Yeah. Really?
Yeah. So yeah, we split hairs.
Both of us just have a, have a really,
interesting connectionto to Clifford Olson.
Yeah. Trippy.
He may he may have preventedmy existence had my mom not been a smarty.

(01:21:43):
Due diligence. Yeah.
Yeah, it's one of those things. Yeah,I don't know.
Have you ever been approachedby a man in a vehicle before?
I have not like that.
I got approached by a woman in a vehicle.
Oh. That happens to me all the time.
Yeah.
Hell, yeah.
I'm like, quick, call it. It's not fair.
And then I turn my back.
That's straight away. Straight away.
Yeah. The BGS play.Yeah. You get about. My.

(01:22:04):
Oh I was like I was a kid though.
And I got,I got in trouble for talking to her.
So like what.
So a lady was up, came up and was like,hey, would you like an ice cream sundae?
She came down my driveway,
when I lived in the Highlands. Weird.
And, I, like, walked right up to your car.
I was, like, talking to her,and she was like.
She was harmless. She was just askingfor directions or whatever.
But I didn't know that.

(01:22:26):
Yeah, I did,I didn't know what her intentions were.
I was like, probably like 5 or 6.So you got in trouble from your mom?
Because my older brother was just like,he went and talked to the stranger.
And then my mom was just like,you don't do that.
I've taught you better. And yeah.
Yeah, she's like, fucking terrified. Yeah.
Of course you said reason.
No, I my,
my parents were always freaked out becauseI, I used to play with Michael Dennehy.
Right. Like,I was. Like friends with Michael Dennehy.

(01:22:47):
And we used to hang out and playwhile our parents played baseball.
On the Guardian Angels, the Coast Guardbaseball team, like slow pitch.
And so I was just a little kid,and I was just playing on the blanket
or whatever with toys and stuffwhile our our parents played baseball.
Right.
I remember when he disappeared.
Yes, I did it.
I, I, a younger child kidnaped an olderchild.
Yeah, yeah I agree, but no.
Anyway, it's not a joke.

(01:23:09):
You know, it's quite horrific and.
How sorry you.
His parents played with my parents.
And how did. What? Sorry. How did you,
come to be friendswith him if you were a different ages?
Your parents played baseball onthe same team together, and we would play.
Okay, okay, okay, well,
our parents are playing baseball,and that's still unsolved.

(01:23:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Don't know what happened.
Yeah. Yeah, I hadI liked it. There's. Yeah.
Super sad. Yeah.
Really sad.
Yeah I had a, I had like Michael Dennehymissing posters on my parents
vehicles like growing upand everything like.
Yeah, that was like,that was like a big thing with like,
so many of your friends housesjust have, like, Michael Dennehy stuff up.
And it's so crazy.
How my parents were terrified. Oh, yeah.

(01:23:50):
Because it's like one child away,you know, like.
Yeah, well, friend connections.
They often say it like like stoleour innocence in the city because it was.
It's one of those things that you seehappening in like Toronto or Vancouver.
It doesn't happen here. Yeah.
Everybody says that, for one.
Yeah. A Victoria's kind of scary,honestly.
Like, you know, can't say names,but my aunt was a police dispatcher.

(01:24:13):
Right.
And she it she let us know.
She's like,you know, the news doesn't tell you
all the murders and shit that happened.
Like, people get stabbed,shot, killed all the time in Victoria.
And it was murder.
It's like Disneyland. Yeah. What?
Sorry. Disneyland.
They don't say anything happenson the premises.
Shot, killed and murdered.It's like Disneyland.
I'm like,what are you talking about, dude?
Nothing happens in Disneylandat all. They.

(01:24:33):
They wait till super do. Exactly.Yeah. Somebody has a heart attack.
They had a heart attackat the gates of Disneyland. Exactly.
Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah.
Victoria. It'swhy you don't hear about it. Like.
Like there's.Like what? Rena. Michael. Michael donaghy.
So all.
The fancy boozy act. Oh, Lindsay. Busy?
Yeah.
My friend Phil Strong do Iwho got shot outside of Red Jacket Club.
I mean, we went we graduated with the guy.
He was my defense partner in hockey.

(01:24:54):
It crazy. Some kid came back.
He wanted to. Here's a crazy story.
You haven't heard the rest in peace.
My my poor buddy Phil.
But he like,
was dealing with a disputebetween two friends of his.
He liked both the people,but they were beef.
And for some reason,
and one of our other,like, grad mates, this guy Stu, with like
drove by or whatever and was like,hey man, like his best friend.
He's like, you want a ride?

(01:25:15):
I'm leaving now.
Like, you want a ride right now to Philand feels like, no,
man, I get to stay behindto make sure this shit is okay.
So these guys don't like beef,right? Right.
So he's like, okay, I'll catch you later,right? Drives off.
That would have been saved his life.But how harsh is that?
But anyway he like he's trying it like,listen, man, this guy's cool.
This guy's cool.Like, don't worry about it.
And then some kidhopped out of a taxi cab.
16 year old kid, I'm pretty sure.
Yeah. Not allowed in the bar or anything.

(01:25:36):
Hopped out of a taxi cab
and just shot a bunch of bulletsat them all and killed my friend Phil.
Like Gilbert killed our buddy.
It was like a gang initiation.
Yeah,to get the guy to do that or whatever.
Because the guy, the guy,the guy that they were arguing with was
part of the Red Scorpions.
So I just thought he called this kidto come.
Come down.
And what the deal with? Shit.
Yeah. Like, so did the, to have any.

(01:25:58):
No, no. No was really just a buddy and.
Yeah,just Stanford and trying to be a guy.
You got to.
He got a posthumous, like,Governor General's Award for for bravery.
Because.
Yeah, it
when the kid was pointingthe gun at them, he,
he stepped in front of his friend
and was like,you're gonna have to shoot me first.
And that's what they did. Exactlywhat happened.
I can see that. They say, yeah, whatever.
They were,they were arrested within like minutes.

(01:26:20):
Yeah. They didn't make it very far.
No, but it's. Yeah, very sad.
He was 20 and then. Yeah.
And that's real.
That's like
I mean I feel like everybody's probablygot a story like that, you know, I.
Mean I, I,I've only heard of stories like that.
I've never like,
I mean the, the, a lot of the stuffthat happens in my friend
groups is just like of people that I knowis that drug crisis and fentanyl.
But we went to school with the brotherof Rena Burke, you know, like, right.

(01:26:43):
You didn't. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like he's a really good guy,you know? But I don't know.
It's crazy.
You think you're in a small place.
You're in a small,you know, sheltered city.
But Victoria has some pretty scary shitgo down. Yeah.
And I guess they do sweep a lot of itout of the wood, like so.
Because, I mean, in 30 yearsI've heard of, like,
I mean, there's like four huge cases.
There's probably a lot more
that I'm not thinking of right now,but grand scheme of things.

(01:27:06):
Pretty even pretty safe.
Yeah, exactly.
Comparedto the rest of the world. Exactly.
But yeah, there's there'sdefinitely more shit than we think.
Yeah, I think that there has to be
more thana few people buried out in the Highlands.
I've.I've always thought this because I lived.
I lived out there as a kid. Right.
And a.
Forested area that is accessibleby road, right near a city probably not.

(01:27:27):
Far from town, but it's remote.It's enough that you wouldn't find it.
Yeah, yeah.
Because, actually, when I wasa little kid, there was like the.
We were coming home one nightand there's police on the road
and there's like, you know, where there'sthe little, like, horse trail with.
Where.
When you turn at, like, Monroe Road.
Who cares? I mean. I
there's a part in the bushthat's relatively accessible.

(01:27:48):
And they found a, they found a bodynarrated.
Yeah. Good God.
Yeah.
Our friend found one like, Yeah.
So that. Was to self death victim.
Oh, no. Yeah.
Out in East Park one time.
Yeah. It's horrifying.It's just out there camping.
And he said he looked over any signhe knew exactly what it was.
The second he saw.I can imagine exactly what it was.
Yeah, he said that I should I gointo detail like that's kind of brutal.

(01:28:11):
Like, I don't know, trigger warning.
Yeah. Trigger warning.
Sure. Yeah. Trigger warning. Trigger.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm it's
the algorithmisn't like when we say that that's the.
Oh it marks it.
But anyway, that's why I say likeself death and yeah, dumb shit like that.
And we change our language.
I say, and. Robots don't like it. Yeah.
But whatever.
I'm just saying, that'swhy I'm saying weird shit like that.

(01:28:32):
Talking weird. But, basically this man,
one of the eeriest things about it.
Yeah, is that this person had brought outa wooden chair
really far out into the woods, like,really way out there.
Didn't really want to be found.It seemed. Wow.
And they brought a wooden chair with them.
And I think any of usmodeling ever see it?

(01:28:53):
I guess they can nail off France.
Yes. They didn't even
hit. The nail file.
I didn't.
Go for.
I don't know when.
Or not even.
I mean.
Like how fucked up.
Mary split her eyeswhen he found the body.

(01:29:15):
He, like, ran to the beach. Right.
And you're out there in the park, and,
he called 911 from the beach, and he got,
Port Angeles.
Oh, God. And they're like,oh, you're in Canada.
Let us transfer you. Yeah.
And they transferred him to Vancouver,who transferred him to Victoria,
which is way out West Shore,who finally transferred him to silk.

(01:29:36):
And when he was on the phonewith with sook RCMP, the he lost the call.
Oh my gosh.
And so he like, ran out of the parkto his car and like hurried up
the highway to the detachmentand when he got there he's like.
Hi, I'mthe guy that just called. About a body.
And they're like.
Take us back.
Oh, we just sentwe just sent someone to look for you.

(01:29:57):
So they called that person back.
They called the Search and Rescue,
and they were lookingat a map of the park, and they're like,
can you can you tell us,can you tell us where it is?
And, he's like, yeah.
And he's like pointing.
He's describing this little areawhere he's where he found the body
and they're like, we don't really knowwhat you're talking about.
Can you come with us? Yeah.
And it didn't really want to, like,why would you,

(01:30:20):
He was happy to help,but like, fuck, it's pretty traumatic.
No kidding. Yeah, yeah.
What a what a day. Yeah.
Yeah. No.
And they're,
they're lucky it was, it was him
because he knew the parklike the back of his hand.
Yeah. He's a woodsman.
Right, right.
The only funny thing out of the story isthe the newspaper was like
it was a wayward.
It was a lost hiker and was like,it was not lost.

(01:30:41):
Oh my God.
Yeah.
I think he went I think he went offthe trail to go like pee or something.
Right.
So this is the thingabout the news, right?
When we hear thingsthat are not necessarily our business.
Right. You know,we don't necessarily hear the full truth.
Right? So like,
they hit their head and they died
or they fell, you know, that's a waywardhiker that's tragically got lost.
It's like this dude.
And then or running,

(01:31:01):
like that's fucked.
That's one of the mostI'll never get the image out of my head.
I've neverI didn't see it, but I sure fucking.
That's about a pretty often.
Yeah.
You know,
like how fucking ready to leave this worlddo you have to be to just do it?
That way? Like, just fuckingI it's so sad.
Yeah. That is really tragic.
Is that, like, a, like, a little whileago? Was that a long time ago?
That was a few years now.
Fears back in. 2012 maybe. Yeah.

(01:31:23):
That's right.Yeah. It does fly. Yeah. Shit.
Man. And you just imagine likelike the reason why I ask about time is
just because you just imagine, like,what that person might have accomplished
in the last ten yearsand how how quick the goal is.
You don'tget to have a stake in this. World.
Yeah, exactly. So depressing.
Even if things might have turned around,man, let me just say, like
I was in a fucked up,depressed way about a year ago.
Yeah, right.You know, and for a long time.

(01:31:45):
And I am doing so much betternow that I encourage
everybody who's going through a rough timeto please wait it out, persevere.
Please,please try to do your best for yourself
and just take care of yourselfand try to enjoy all the little sweet
parts of life and get to a placewhere you can be happy again.
Because holy shit,I know what it's like to not care anymore
and to not want to live.And that shit sucks.

(01:32:06):
I'm sorry to get realheavy on everybody, but
but you know, with regardsto what we just talked about, like,
I don't want to see anybodygo and give up.
I want to see everybody persevereand get to that fucking awesome time,
because it's definitely coming.
Even if it takes years,you'll get to a fucking awesome place
where you know you're lovedand we all love you. You know?
These are my friends.
Just tell your friends I just want.
You guys to be well, you know. And like.

(01:32:26):
And the other thing too,
which I can also relate to,that I've been in some pretty dark as is.
As is everybody. Yeah.
Everybody hates us as humans go.
But there's evenwhen I hear people be like, don't give up.
And when I was in that point,I would still think, fuck you.
Yeah, you're oh, you will.
And you'll make it easy for. You to say.
It's easy
for you to say, I'm in this lowpoint in my life right now
where it doesn't look likethere's a light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't care what you say.

(01:32:47):
Yeah, you'rejust telling me that I can do Ted talk.
Yeah. And it's like, wow,that's awesome. Being truly hopeless.
Like, really, really,really unhealthy place.
It sucks. And then. Right.
But then a year seemed about ittook about a year and stuff started,
you know, switching up a little bit.
And now you can remember that timeand you can remember like, okay,
we don't go back to that,
to that zen reason, you know, likeand we'd steer ourselves to the better.
You know,that's just learning and getting stronger.

(01:33:08):
So I hope that everybody who's
going through the fucking worstpart of their life right now,
and they think that it'snever going to get better.
I know it's cliche,but it seriously gets better.
Totally,totally get better and be worth it.
And more funwhen you when you push through this.
That's, that's a good message.
And I think that's a perfect messagelanded on. We've been don't want.
To talk about bad people.
Yeah, it's real good people.
You know, I think, anyway,that listen to this podcast,

(01:33:28):
you know, not you if you don't listento the podcast, I just kind of ruin it.
Hey, I hate you for this.
You just ruined.
So I invite you back. Yeah.Is this the first. Oh, no.
We had Brody back twice,as I say. Who? Who else came back? Twice.
Yeah.
But, technically, Brody.Brody was on one main episode.
The first episode don't really count.
He was, like,our first inaugural guest of YouTube,
but that never made it to the light of dayon podcast form.

(01:33:49):
Anyway. Anyway, yeah, I know, yeah.
Thanks for coming back.But you had a wealth of knowledge.
Yeah, that was awesome.
Going to pick your brain again one dayhopefully if you're down to come back. So.
Yeah, we'll see here. An educational dude.
Yeah I know, so what we got to do is.
Everybody in the Highlands. Yeah.
If he disappears a great.This is my admission right now.
Right after I said we got to trap him,I'm gonna hide his body in the Highlands.

(01:34:10):
Perfect.
Yeah. What?
We got to.
Use this one to the doorso I could just. Be like.
No, what I'm saying is we got to trap himwith.
Make him say something wrong,so he has to come back on a new episode.
Oh, God. Oh, he already said one wrong.
I already already heard himsay a wrong one.
And I'm just.I'm going to wait until he figures it out.
Yeah. It's perfect.And then he has to come back.
So that's what you'll get him coming back.
You'll have to listen to the podcast.Yeah, yeah. What's up?

(01:34:32):
I think you're just duping me.
Which part is a dupe?
I think I was flawless this time.
That.
Yeah,they're just making me doubt myself. Yeah.
Okay. Sure. Not.
Awesome, dude. Well, five minutes in.
Our son of a bitch.God damn it. We're out.
Okay. Well, anyways, thanks for listening.
Everybody out for any.
Anecdotes, any anecdotes,but on right now,

(01:34:52):
the Vancouver Canucks once,I can't remember when it was maybe,
in the 90s or something,
but they basicallythere was this Russian hockey player
that was supposed to bethe next big thing.
He's going to be the next fucking PavelBure.
He's going to be the next,you know, Wayne Gretzky.
This guy is fucking incredible, right.
And they get this guy, Vladimirsomething or other. Right.
And they get him on the,
sport through their camp or whateverinto their, like, training camp and stuff.

(01:35:13):
And they're working on this fucking guyfor some reason, is just a bag of shit.
He's eating hot dogs.
He's like, sleeping in
like he ain't so many hot dogslike this guy who does eat hot.
It's like, these are pro athletes.
Everyone's eating steak and spaghetti
and rice and stuff,and he's like, eating hot dogs.
And he was super out of shape.
And they, like, ended up firing him.
They ended up not using him.He was like really unathletic.
And they ended up calling him viathe inhaler.

(01:35:34):
This is.
The is that real?
That's real.
That's what I mean.
A bunch of hot dogs and shit.
So I just, I whenever I think of somebodyeating a shit
ton of hot dogs,I think of Vlad the Inhale.
That's a perfect way to end this episode.
All right, guys,thank you so much for everybody.
For listening to our crazy shit.We love you guys.
Thanks for Dan Hitchin comingon. These are my two.

(01:35:55):
All these are my these are my. Friends.
More oh.
Oh. Hello. We.

(01:36:17):
Will. Oh.

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TrMF #029 – THESErMYVILLAINS, The HORRIFYING tale of Vlad the Impaler The REAL Dracula with Historian Dan Hitchin

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}TrMF #029 – THESErMYVILLAINS, The HORRIFYING tale of Vlad the Impaler The REAL Dracula with Historian Dan Hitchin