Book Review: You Had Me At No

I’m excited to share our Indiegogo campaign! It’s all about supporting the podcast’s sixth season. My aim is to deliver more insightful, ad-free content. The funds will go towards creating video content in a dedicated studio. Think better quality and interviews with the leaders you want to hear from. Your donations help keep the podcast ad-free and accessible. The first 20 donors of $10 or more will get a signed book and a shout-out.

Contribute Here: https://igg.me/at/timstatingtheobvious/x#/

I also reviewed Sheryl Green’s book, “You Had Me at No.” It tackles the challenges of setting boundaries. The book explains why it’s hard and why it’s important for your well-being. It’s filled with humor, examples, and strategies. Quick note: this review isn’t sponsored. It’s my honest take after reading the book and interviewing Cheryl.

Sheryl Green breaks boundaries into six key areas: material (time, possessions, money), emotional (feelings), mental (thoughts), physical (space, body), sexual (intimacy), and time-based. The book says exhaustion often comes from letting people cross these lines. I can stop that, starting today.

Check out the book here: https://amzn.to/44mZC4h

 

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Website: timstatingtheobvious.com

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Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHfDcITKUdniO8R3RP0lvdw 

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#settingboundaries #boundaries #howtosetboundaries #SherylGreen” #youhadmeatno #personalboundaries #emotionalboundaries #selfhelp

 

Episode Transcript

Tim Staton (00:00):
I just wanted to let you know about our new indiegogo campaign that we're running.
So that way for season six and beyond, we can deliver more insightful and ad free content to
help leaders grow, think critically and take action.
We've been able to keep this show completely ad free because I believe that leadership education

(00:23):
should be free of distraction and it should be accessible to everybody.
But in order to take it to the next level, I wanted to deliver more video content and move it
into a dedicated studio so that way we can give you better content, better education, and we
can talk to leaders that you want to hear from.

(00:44):
But in order to do that, I need your support.
And as a thank you, the first 20 people who donate $10 or more will receive a signed copy of
my book and a personal shout out on the show.
Your support ensures that this podcast stays ad free, expands into video, and reaches even more and aspiring established leaders.
If this show has ever helped you grow in any way, now's your chance to give back.

(01:09):
Click the link down below to help make a contribution and so that way we can build another powerful
year of leadership content, this time with video and in a studio.
I am truly humbled by all of you who have already contributed and thank you for being a part of this journey.
This is Tim Staton with Tim stating the obvious.

(01:31):
What is this podcast about? It's simple.
You are entitled to great leadership.
Everywhere you go, whether it's to church, whether it's to work, whether it's at your house,
you are entitled to great leadership.
And so in this podcast we take leadership principles and theories and turn them into everyday, relatable and usable advice.

Disclaimer (01:51):
And a quick disclaimer. This show process or service by trademark trademark manufacturer otherwise
does not necessarily constitute an imply the endorsement of anyone that I employed by or favors in the representation.
The views are expressed here in my show are my own expressed and do not necessarily state or
reflect those of any employer.

Tim Staton (02:02):
Have you ever said yes to something when you really wanted to say no?
If so, you're not alone.
Boundaries are something that we all struggle with, whether it's in your friendships, family,
work, or even with ourselves.
And you'd had me at no by Sheryl Green is a book that I read that really helps with boundaries.
This book dives into why setting boundaries is so hard and why it's absolutely necessary for our well being.

(02:28):
It's packed with humor, real life examples and practical strategies that make the advice really actionable.
And reading the book, it really sounded like I was listening to Sheryl talk so in this review,
I'm going to break it down in a couple of ways.
I'm going to give you a couple of key takeaways that I got from the book.
What makes this book stand out compared to other books and lastly, who should read this book

(02:52):
and possibly who should kind of skip out on it.
Now, before we continue, I just wanted to let you know this is not paid, sponsored or endorsed by anybody.
When I talked with Sheryl on the show and interviewed her last episode or a couple episodes
ago, I read her book and and we had a conversation.
Now I just want to share those thoughts with you.
So not paid or endorsed by anybody.

(03:13):
Since we got that out of the way, let's move forward.
Some of us aren't taught how to set boundaries.
We're taught to be agreeable, to say yes when we're asked, and to accommodate others.
Over time we become people pleasers, overworked professionals and emotionally exhausted friends
because we don't know how to say no without the guilt attached to it.

(03:34):
Sheryl Green breaks down boundaries into six key areas which are your material.
How you treat time, possessions and money and resources with boundaries. Emotional boundaries.
How do you deal with your feelings and your mental well being mental, you know, your thoughts,
your beliefs and your opinions.
You how do you set boundaries with that physical your personal space and your body which then

(03:56):
leads into a sexual aspect with your comfort levels and your safety and intimacy.
And the last area is time based how you spend your time and how you set boundaries up with that.
Sheryl thinks that one of the biggest truth bombs is is that if you're exhausted, resentful
or stretched too thick, it's because you've allowed people to overstep your boundaries.

(04:16):
And the good news is that that could stop today.
Here is what makes you had me at no different from other self help books.
It doesn't just tell you why boundaries matter, it shows how to enforce them in everyday life life.
Some of the standout strategies to me are the simple power of no.

(04:39):
You don't need to explain yourself, don't need to justify anything and you don't need to have
any guilt attached to it.
You know, it talks to about how to handle pushback which is huge because a lot of people don't
know how to handle the conflict anymore.
And then you know, boundary.
She offers up boundary scripts, exact words to use when setting limits with your friends, your
families or co workers if you have nowhere to start.

(05:01):
She offers that up in this book and how to overcome the guilt associated with saying no and setting up boundaries.
Understanding that feeling guilty doesn't mean you're wrong, it means that you're growing.
If you ever said yes when you really meant no, this book in your hands, you know, is a good
playbook to help you out and stop that vicious cycle of people pleasing and not really respecting

(05:24):
your boundaries or your space. In my opinion. Here's what works well. It's relatable and engaging.
It feels like a conversation with a smart, funny friend.
We we talked with her last month and it the book really reads how she talks. It's practical and actionable.
You can start using these strategies today, which I love. It's useful.
It covers all the areas of life, whether it's work, family, friendships, or romance. It's all in there.

(05:48):
Now I will say in my opinion, this book is written for people who are just beginning to start
to put up their boundaries.
So what might not work for everyone is if you've already done some deep work on boundaries.
Some of the parts may feel a little repetitive to you, or it doesn't really go deep into trauma based boundary issues.

(06:09):
I think that's probably a little bit too clinical and it's not enough academic or clinical approach to it.
So this book might not be for you if that's what you're looking for.
But if you're looking for an everyday practical application and you're tired of feeling drained
or stretched too thin or taken advantage of, then this book is for you.

(06:30):
It's a fast, engaging read that will help you protect your feelings, time and sanity.
So what do you think?
Have you struggled with setting boundaries?
How did you struggle with setting boundaries?
I would like to know.
Drop your thoughts in the comments down below.
Also, if you want to get a copy of this book, you'll be able to find the link in the descriptions
so that way you can reach out.

(06:51):
As always, thank you for stopping by and checking out this episode and listening to it.
I really hope that you enjoyed it.
Before we go, I'd like to ask a favor of you if I could.
If you could please share this episode with one or two people who you think might like this topic.
If you haven't followed or subscribed on the platform that you're listening to and hit all the
bells and icons and all the whistles so that you know that when we post another episode you'll

(07:13):
be alerted, please go ahead and do all that before you go.
If you got some value out of this episode, please leave a review or a comment so we can help
spread the show to other people who might be interested in the topics that we've talked about
here today, but may not have found our show yet again. Thanks for stopping by.
I'm Tim Staton.
Staten the obvious.