May 29, 2024 • 38 mins
Welcome to a special episode of The Treehouse Storyteller, where we dive deep into the heart of family dynamics and the role of fathers. Join us as the host's husband, Cody Pierrou, makes a guest appearance to share his insights on leadership, healthy masculinity, and raising children to love Jesus.
In this candid and unscripted conversation, Cody discusses the importance of engaging with your family, doing hard things, and the impact of vulnerability. He emphasizes the responsibility of men to lead their households with boldness and authenticity, drawing from personal experiences and biblical principles.
Tune in to discover practical tips for fostering a strong family unit, the significance of community and accountability among men, and how to navigate the challenges of modern fatherhood. Whether you're a parent seeking guidance or someone interested in cultural issues from a biblical worldview, this episode offers valuable insights and encouragement.
Resources!!
Check out The Warrior Poet Way Book by John Lovell HERE
Explore Reclaim Ministries HERE
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Hey, you're listening to The Treehouse Storyteller. Meet me in The Treehouse
for God-shaped storytelling.
Treehouse Storyteller is where we can come together as messy parents seeking
Jesus together and raising kids to love Him too.
If you aren't scared of addressing cultural issues head on and finding a deeper
(00:24):
understanding of the biblical worldview to share with your children,
then you've come to the right place.
I'm not afraid to be transparent and tell all of the juicy details.
Our children are being chased by the world and it is our job to be well-equipped
and know not only how to lead our flock, but successfully send our arrows out
into the world one day to build the kingdom.
(00:46):
So snuggle up by the fire or soak up the sunshine with those earbuds in and
meet me in the tree house for some biblical storytelling.
Music.
How long does it take the spirit to move you?
(01:07):
We'll go ahead and introduce us. What are you waiting for? Hey guys,
welcome to the treehouse on this super special episode where I blackmailed,
I mean, convinced my sweet husband to join us.
So we've been talking and maybe I've been demanding. I don't know.
(01:30):
This is completely unscripted, by the way. It's very unscripted.
I want the audience needs to know that we did not practice. It's normal, though. Okay.
If they're listening to this or watching this, then I think they know that that's
what they can expect from me. That's our M.O.?
Modus operandi. So this is, let me introduce my guest.
(01:55):
I don't even know how to introduce you. We just had our 16th wedding anniversary
on Friday, but this is Cody Peru.
He is my husband first and foremost, but he is the leader of our family and a longtime Marine.
Works in oil and gas now. Lots of leadership under his belt.
(02:18):
If anyone knows anything about leadership, it is him.
Still learning. He's humble.
Trying to think what else is applicable to our podcast.
He likes lifting heavy things and moving furniture around on my command.
Yep. Got these chairs in right order. Uh-huh. What we want to talk about today
(02:39):
is really a passion of ours in raising our kiddos and,
you know, really the heart of a father and what healthy masculinity looks like.
We've talked about that a lot from time to time on this show,
but I just really felt like it was time to bring him on and kind of have that conversation.
(03:00):
I was at an event a couple of weeks ago where I had several moms really,
really passionately and concerningly ask the question of how do you get your husband on board?
We know what you're saying. We buy into what you're saying.
But what about the husband? And I just felt like I would do a disservice to
(03:22):
not try to answer that kind of question and not address that and give a resource
for you moms out there that feel like you really need a resource for your husband
and need to get on the same page about some things.
And so we just kind of wanted to kind of have a conversation and something that
we could all learn from and things that have worked for us and things that haven't.
(03:43):
And yeah. Yeah. And there's, there's a lot to cover there. So maybe some future episodes.
Yeah. Yeah. This is going to be like a teaser episode, or like I said earlier,
like a really good appetizer and we're going to come back for some main meals,
but we're squeezing this in between a lunch and a party that we have later.
So we just really felt like it was good timing to do it.
(04:03):
Yeah. And I think, you know, when I look at this and, you know,
we're very passionate about it and it's definitely something I'm passionate
about. It is ensuring men are fully alive.
And so there's that whole topic. There's a topic of masculinity,
men being the leaders of their household. There's a lot of topics you can cover here.
So I think the challenge that we're going to have here, even unscripted,
(04:27):
is just kind of honing in on a topic.
So I'll let you kind of lead the questioning lines, but but yeah I just just
know that this is a lot of branches to this discussion From here,
so maybe we can dig in more.
Yeah on some future episodes, but but yeah, definitely Something I'm passionate
about and something that I think from a societal standpoint We need,
(04:52):
and a great awakening, if you will, today. Yeah.
Well, one thing that I'll start by saying, since we really want to address the
family and the parents, one way that I have failed to let Cody lead over time, over years prior,
not that I'm great at it, but I've learned and I'm still learning to get better
(05:15):
at this, but is what does it look like to, I guess I'll ask myself the question,
but what does it look like to let your husband lead your family?
And I think that's hard for strong women.
I mean, I was raised to be a strong woman. I could have ran the household by
myself if I really wanted to.
If I wanted to choose to do that, I would have done it very poorly,
(05:38):
but I had that like gung-ho in me to do so.
I was a career woman at the start of our marriage.
I didn't want kids early on something crazy
happened when cody deployed and it
was like this weird primal instinct that i needed to like produce his children
and kind of take everything on yourself i think is yeah yeah so when you know
(06:01):
i return to that environment it makes that interaction more difficult because
you're used to playing both our roles yeah in the Yeah.
And I would say like Cody and I are both more on the lines of controlling individuals.
We like having control and we like things our way. We're both the babies and
our family is growing up, which has created challenges.
(06:23):
And so like, what does that look like to really control?
Allowing your husband, like as a wife, how do I let Cody lead?
And I'm like, how are ways, I mean, you can probably think of ways that that's
failed and ways that that works really well.
Yeah. Well, first of all, I want to came out of a word you said earlier,
but failure, I want to see it as a failure, you know, we're both growing in Christ.
(06:47):
And I think that's where, that's where there's, there's this divergence sometimes
because the, the, the husband and wife are both on their own faith journeys.
And sometimes, you know, one is more advanced than the other.
And some men aren't necessarily equipped to lead and nor would I say that their
heart is in a place to lead their family well.
(07:08):
And so there's, there's, there's that piece of it.
And I think back to your question about like, how did we, we learn to lead together?
Well, a lot of it was just, you know, us growing in our maturity and our faith
and us having to learn how how to yield to one another and operate in one flesh.
Because in reality, you know, it's not that I think there's this negative connotation
(07:32):
when it's heard that the man is to be the leader of the household.
Yeah. The negative connotation in societies today that men are overpowering.
They're ruling over their dominion when that is not the case at all.
It's a partnership that we are guiding our family and each other through our
(07:52):
own marriage on this journey, this race that we're running, if you will,
toward us and in our faith.
But would you say that, I mean, obviously that's been misused,
but it's unbiblically done.
Men can. Oh, yeah. And that gets us into the whole masculinity discussion about,
well, what is that? And then, you know, today's society is spun off into toxic masculinity.
(08:16):
And that, again, comes from this idea of ruling over this dominion,
this, you know, well, I don't want to be told what to do.
And it's not that at all. It's this partnership. It's this togetherness,
oneness that we're leading our family in.
Ultimately, though, you know, it calls us to live in humility to one another
and to yield to one another at the same time. So...
(08:40):
And again, society spun this off as to say, well, men are aggressive,
they're violent, they're just going to be domineering over the household, whatever.
And that created all of this negative connotation around what it means to be
a leader in the household.
When when really you know
(09:02):
we're both on a on our own faith journey we're both leading the family using
our spiritual giftings that we have in our own way at the end of the day you
know leadership is nothing but a responsibility and i think the differentiation
there is that leadership is the
responsibility of the man.
(09:23):
And with that responsibility comes, it's a weight.
And men have to feel the weight of that responsibility to take ownership over
leading their households.
That is leadership. If you look at definitionally, the definition of leadership
is truly just inspiring others.
(09:44):
Inspiring has nothing to do with commanding. So leadership doesn't say,
you command others leadership is you inspire
others leadership is a responsibility and
so if you look at that it's hard as a parent
sometimes though it it is then again
are are all men in a right place in a right standing with god to lead their
(10:08):
homes because let's face it like men today are broken they're distracted why
don't get me started that might be a whole episode The first couple of things that you think of.
Well, men are, men are distracted by phones.
They're distracted by work. They, they're distracted by a phone.
(10:31):
Misprioritization of what is important
i'm prioritizing work over family or they're
not prioritizing their relationship with
christ they're not to mention
you know just the absentee fathers that
are out there like yeah when i think of you know
(10:51):
and and this is a generalization okay
so i don't want men to take offense to this because
there are men out there that are fully alive doing the right thing but
men's hearts are are broken and injured and this is a big part of reclaim ministries
that i'm a part of is the the motto for reclaim ministries is all men fully
alive and the idea there is that men carry some hurts they carry some brokenness and then identifies.
(11:20):
Those wounds and you rebuild those wounds on the foundation of christ on the
truth of the gospel And what that does is now all of a sudden you begin to operate in the Holy Spirit.
You begin to operate mended in your relationship with Christ and you're fully
alive, meaning that you are fully operating in the Holy Spirit.
And that equips you to lead your family because alone we can't do it because
(11:43):
men are naturally fallen and broken, just like all of humanity.
You said that equips you.
So biblically, we know that God equips the called.
And would you say every man is called? Every man has a calling to lead his family.
I think there is innate foundational traits within men that feel that calling.
(12:06):
And most men don't know that it's there or they're too distracted to recognize
it's there, too wounded to recognize it's there,
or they're too drawn into their
own addictions or things that are distracting them from that calling.
Or they'll get that satisfaction somewhere else.
(12:31):
They'll fill their time with busyness and with work.
And I think that is where we have to kind of go in and surgically identify those wounds, if you will,
and rebuild back on that foundation of Christ to, again, make you fully alive
and operating in your calling.
Calling and understand, you know, at a heart level, exactly what your purpose
(12:55):
and calling is as a man to lead your household and lead your children and lead your wife.
So what does that look like on like a day to day?
Cause that's like a really big picture, but like zoning in like day to day.
So, yeah. So, so,
I'm a big proponent of like, you can have this vision, you can have this,
but I'm an execution guy.
(13:17):
Like that's kind of what the visionary has the visionary. I like to take the
vision and turn it into execution.
And so what's that look like on a day to day is a real tangible question.
And that's a big question, too. And I can go on for a while on this.
So maybe that's another episode.
But but let me let me think he just wants to take over the podcast.
(13:39):
Well, let me give you some wave tops.
So one, as men, you have to prepare, just like you would prepare for battle
and you'd put on the armor.
And, you know, just like in Ephesians 6.10, like it talks about,
you put on the armor to go do battle, but you don't put on the armor and stand around.
(14:01):
You're not playing dress up. Yeah, plain dress up. You put on the armor and
then at the end of Ephesians, Paul talks about like, now go boldly proclaim the gospel.
And so it's like, start your morning.
That's like getting in the word as a man, you know, maybe getting out to the
gym and sharpening those skills too.
(14:21):
And then you're diving into your day with your family. However,
that looks in the morning for you is different for everybody.
Maybe it's getting everyone off to school, doing this, doing that.
But as a man, like one thing I've learned to do is identify areas where maybe
one of the kids is struggling or I can see like emotionally,
(14:43):
maybe you're struggling on something. thing.
And it's as a man choosing to engage in those moments, because how easy is it to draw back?
And, you know, we were just having this conversation in our men's group here
recently about one of my favorite mottos is doing hard things. I say that a lot.
I think I've said it on the last few episodes leading up to this too.
(15:07):
Okay. Perfect. Perfect segue.
So doing hard things and a good friend of mine, and Craig actually made this
differentiation where oftentimes we think about doing hard things like the physical things.
Like I'm going to go climb this mountain. I'm going to go lift this weight.
And you think about doing something physically hard, which is great because
there's a refining process that happens too.
(15:28):
Doing hard things is so much more than that. It's choosing to engage with your
kids at the end of a long day when all you want to do is pop down on the couch
and turn on the game how many men in america do that today.
Hey, hey, everyone, you know, I'm going to go disengage and go watch the game. Yeah.
(15:48):
Zone out or scroll their phones or whatever it is.
At that moment, you have to choose the hard thing. The hard thing is putting down the phone.
You're dog tired. But hey, guess what? Your kids need you in this moment.
Your kids had some difficulties that they struggle with in the day and you have to choose to engage.
(16:10):
Or you can tell in the morning, maybe your wife is emotional or frustrated about
something and you have to choose to engage in that moment and say,
Hey, I want you to know, I'm going to come around you. I'm here for you. I'm with you.
You might be trying to rush out the door, but all it takes is a few seconds
to engage in that moment.
Say, Hey, maybe I'll call you on my way to work and let's, let's talk through
(16:32):
whatever's on your mind here.
And in, in choosing in those moments, And it's then tangibly housed with that
look because, you know, you're working at day during the day.
Your kids are doing their thing.
Your wife is doing doing her thing and you get home at the end of the day.
Again, choosing to engage in that moment and leading your family.
(16:54):
It's like recently I've had where we've walked in the door and I just felt like
this spirit of deception in the household.
We're all bickering. We're all fighting. and like the second you get home everyone's
bickering and fighting and I just felt so much tension in the household when
I walked in and it was like hey time out guys come here and like
(17:17):
We would just surround each other and we just kind of group hug kind of thing.
And I just prayed over everybody in that moment. I said, we can fight this spirit
of deception that's happening in here that's pitting us against each other because
that's precisely what the enemy wants.
And we can rid that from our household.
(17:38):
And in the name of Jesus, I just pray that this evil spirit,
whatever this is, present in our household today would just leave.
Yeah and one of the kids authority
with authority much power in that we we can
pray that out right right then and there and as
a leader in my household it's my responsibility to identify that
and to rid my household of that and and
(17:59):
then to get down with the kids at their level and understand
like okay what what is really going on here like
you know why why are we bicking why are we fighting and and let's
get to the root and then biblically let's identify
like okay there's some sort of maybe seed
planted of a lie and let's and let's let's
uproot that lie and replace it with truth and that's
(18:22):
like getting in the word yeah and studying that together and like one thing
that we've instituted recently that again we're not perfect on and we keep missing
nights and stuff but it's just trying to be purposeful about our family time
yeah in the evenings where we sit
down together and just say, hey, what's going on with you guys?
Oh, hey, I had a conflict today with a friend and here's what's going on with that.
(18:48):
Okay, well, let's dig into that and let's identify truth.
Well, that kind of started with our lantern night thing that we started doing
and we're due for another one.
We haven't done one for this week yet, but just unplugging completely.
And even to the extent of like turning off all the lights and just having a
lantern and the family is just in the space that the lantern is giving off light.
(19:12):
And it causes us to actually just be with each other and talk and address the hard things.
And I tell the story all the time because it was so impactful.
But one of those nights that we were having a family meeting and we got on the
topic of failure and Elijah brought this up and I give him all the credit because it was so impactful.
(19:32):
Insightful, but he was like, man, I don't, I don't like to fail.
And I feel like when I feel I'm letting you guys down. And I was like,
man, isn't that so meaningful because, and it brought up this deep,
meaningful conversation about what that means.
And it allowed us to talk about grace where grace enters in and like, yes,
(19:56):
your mom and I do hold you to a high standard because we want
what's best for you because we love you we are
doing this or we discipline you because we love
you it goes back to hebrews 12 if you
want to read about god's love through discipline that's a difficult topic go
read go read hebrews 12 together and that's exactly what we did in that moment
(20:17):
we're like well wait a minute and to say hey look one failure is okay like we
like to say and our family fail forward because failure is how we learn,
failure is how we grow. And failure is really hard for me.
It's like not even something I feel like I experienced until an adult.
It just felt like everything fit and worked and yeah.
(20:39):
So that's a hard one for me personally. Well, what do you feel when you fail though?
Like it's more like letting, there's a piece of it that's letting myself down,
but it's always feeling like I'm letting someone else down that's more important
to me. That is precisely what Elijah said.
Yeah. He wasn't worried about failing for himself. He's worried about feeling
like he was letting you and I down. Yeah.
(21:01):
And it was. Knowing that about our kids is invaluable because then we start
to see like, oh, they're, they're really hurting right now because we're being hard on them.
And this is what they're experiencing and what their emotions are doing.
And like the why behind like enacting out or just down in the dumps kind of
attitude that like teenager thing, because they're probably sitting there struggling.
(21:25):
Like, I mean, that might be one of those things that you don't think of as a parent.
Had we not given them a venue to discuss that, that would have never come up.
And maybe that would have come up three years from now when he's in a really
dark place because he feels like a failure.
When we have to say, look, failure and mistakes are 100% acceptable in this
(21:47):
household. we fail forward we learn from those things and that is oh by the
way biblical because we are all covered by grace and,
as men we are naturally fallen we live in a fallen world and we will sin we will fail,
and we're covered by the grace of jesus christ in our lives and like what a
(22:10):
way to take the gospel message and turn it into a way that a 13 year old can
understand that is so impactful because.
Now all of a sudden it takes the pressure off of like
oh okay okay i i don't have
to be perfect yeah absolutely not yeah we're
all perfectly imperfect and that's that's
(22:32):
the beautiful thing about jesus's life and resurrection and so that example
that we said just there is our our men leading their households in that way
not to say i have it all figured out because trust me i i am I'm a fallen and broken man myself,
but we are on a faith journey together.
(22:55):
It is the responsibility of leadership that keeps me engaged.
It is a responsibility of leadership. And the fact that I have the responsibility
of you and the kids is why I choose to engage and not draw back.
Because it would be easy if you're getting emotional to just run to the garage
and go tinker with my tools.
(23:16):
Yeah. Right? Yeah. They're a mess. they are a mess i need to get out there maybe
a little too much leading a little less tools,
but yeah there's worse things and and man but but men we cannot do it alone
either and this is where i'm a huge proponent and again along with reclaim ministries
(23:42):
and others where it's like,
you have to get into the community of other men.
You have to build a community of men. That has changed our marriage. Absolutely.
That has changed you. It's changed our marriage. It's changed how we've seen
a whole slew of things. Yeah.
You get in the word with other men and you're all imperfect men,
(24:03):
but iron sharpens iron. And the reality is, is that,
you need the accountability as a man. So many men are isolated today.
Yeah. And of the root causes that we listed earlier about what's going on with
men in America today, I guess we didn't talk about that, but isolation is the big one.
(24:26):
Isolation is huge. Yeah. Men are not in the company of other strong men or they're
in the company of men that are leading them astray,
saying, hey, it's better to go to the bar and get a drink than it is to choose
to engage with your family in the evenings.
Our men's group is at 7.30 on Thursday night.
(24:47):
And the idea is that, no, you sit down, have dinner with your family,
get your kids settled, get everyone settled.
Then you go and you work on sharpening the iron with the other men.
And we're equipping ourselves to lead our families.
You know what else we're doing? We're holding each other accountable. yeah and that
that again doing hard things doing hard
(25:08):
things is confronting another man saying hey man i
think i think you're living people don't like being corrected
no i don't i don't
either yeah i also don't like
asking for help but that's another
thing that we as men need to we need to
allow other men in yeah and yeah god
(25:29):
just keeps speaking to me more and more the past couple weeks
this like idea of vulnerability and like
doing this is vulnerable and and just being
able to be open about shortcomings like
that's not something i've been super like that has not come easy my whole life
i've just kind of kept it together kept face and it's it's hard to be vulnerable
(25:54):
but you have to trust who you're being vulnerable with too I think that's a big piece of it is,
you know, being vulnerable with the right core group of people that,
you know, will hold you up to biblical values and,
you know, you can trust that they will point you towards Jesus every time you need it.
Since we're on the topic of men, vulnerability is not something that's comfortable.
(26:18):
Again, doing hard things is being vulnerable.
And men, you would not believe how freeing it is to sit with other men and just
be completely vulnerable about where you're at with something.
And this, let's get back to the topic of masculinity, because I think this is
a stigma from what this cultural definition of masculinity versus maybe what it is.
(26:41):
And there's a great book I would recommend for any men out there.
It's called The Warrior Poet Way by John Lovell.
And it's this great discussion about the topic of masculinity because as men,
biblically, we're called to be warriors. Okay.
And yes we are called to be warriors we are called to fight but we're
(27:05):
called to fight for truth we're called to fight boldly
but we're also called to be poets and that's
the hard one we're called to be lovers and we're
called to love our wives like christ loved the church but
what does that even mean and you
know you think about a guy like david the mighty warrior won many
(27:25):
battles and lifelong long warrior but
there is you know dancing in the streets you
know singing to god and you know with with the
various musical instruments and and it's
a beautiful picture of both a warrior and a poet yeah because
they're the poet side of us does require vulnerability
(27:46):
it does require a lover heart
it does require you know humbling
ourselves to our shortcomings that
the warrior side of us is the fighter the one
that needs to stand for truth stand for our family and stand
in boldness yeah there's a lot of that that we need to do
today yeah absolutely can we
(28:08):
as a family need to be equipped together and be on the same page and
and know what that looks like for us and yeah and i think you know just thinking
about it's in acts four and this is right after peter Peter and John had just
healed the cripple and the Sadducees were all up in arms because they healed the cripple.
(28:28):
And they said, in what authority do you heal this cripple?
And Peter and John had to go before this council and basically state their case, so to speak.
I'm actually going to turn it real fast because I want to read something that
was really important from that.
Because in that verse, it says the members of the council were amazed when they
(28:53):
saw the boldness of Peter and John.
The members of the council who were the ones bringing them before the trial
were amazed by their boldness. They're amazed by their leadership.
They could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the scriptures.
And I was struck by that because Because like ordinary men,
(29:13):
it's this concept in Acts 4 where it talks about they were amazed by their boldness
and they called them ordinary men because they weren't trained in the scriptures
like the Pharisees and the Sadducees were, but they were still struck by their boldness.
And so many men today say, oh, well, I'm not super religious or I don't really
know the Bible or I don't know this or that.
(29:34):
And the reality is, is that we're all ordinary men just seeking after Jesus and that we're
It's our willingness to engage, our willingness to lead, our boldness to speak
truth that is going to ultimately help spread the gospel, help lead our families, help lead our kids well.
(29:55):
These were ordinary men were doing this in that way.
Because it's God's power when it comes down to it. It's not by their power alone they had.
It's all from the Holy Spirit. Well, and that's exactly, that's exactly what
it says in that previous verse.
It said, you know, when Peter and John healed, it basically said that they,
(30:15):
you know, through the power of the Holy Spirit, they were able to lead in boldness. Yeah.
And it goes back to equipping the called. And so men, you're called,
you have a calling over your life to lead your family.
And that's where God will follow
through on his promise and he will equip you. Men, we need a mission.
(30:35):
And our mission today is to lead our families well.
And that's going to translate in every piece of this society that we have.
Imagine if we have a society where all men are living fully alive,
where all men are fully engaged, leading their families.
That translates to leading their communities that translates
(30:56):
to leading their governments but we need
to wake up we need a we need men to wake up in our society today take responsibility
and take leadership uh in this moment right right here now and this next generation
needs that and we need to fulfill that mission and i think we are we are all
called to that mission as believers.
(31:18):
Yeah. So I ask everyone at the end of my podcast, really, what are some key values?
What are like the top couple core values that you would want to encourage other
parents to bring to the table in their households?
Again, we're completely off script here. I want to remind your audience.
(31:40):
I think I'm trying to put in a word what it would mean to be willing to engage.
There has to be like this boldness to engage in those moments in your kids'
lives when those opportunities arise.
Eyes and i think we the perfect example is
you know walking in and coming into a conflict
(32:01):
and be willing to engage in those moments
like and i'm not sure i'm finding the
right word for this but the word just boldness comes to mind yeah
and i think that's important
and it's this it's this authenticity in those
moments that you have to have in order to to identify
and and be able to pursue the verdicts out
(32:21):
on exactly how i would answer that if i had some time to
sit down think think about it well i think like you because i
know you i feel like you would also answer doing hard things
and doing hard things as a family and doing hard things with
your kids i just saw something the other day and
i haven't even told you about this but it it was basically
proving from a scientific like neuron brain level of what happens in your brain
(32:45):
when you do something hard and when you accomplish the hard thing like i don't
know any of the sciency terms but it was basically like your brain does the thing that it should do.
But if a specifically a child or a younger person starts to do something hard
and they don't feel like they can finish it and they quit doing the hard thing,
(33:07):
like pieces of your brain, like from a neuron, like teeny tiny microscopic level,
like they're severed, like there's a big issue.
And so with, yes. So what, Are you serious? Do you know the science?
A little bit. Keep going.
Okay. So it-
Connects the things. Okay. But when you don't do the hard thing,
(33:32):
it affects you later in life.
So if you were the kid that never had to finish the hard thing or your parents
didn't make you like complete the hard thing or they finished your homework
for you or whatever it is, or they let you just like quit something that you
had already committed to.
Like we just, we don't do that in our household. old we're like hey you committed
like unless it's really harmful like we
(33:55):
dropped out of 4-h like we just didn't align with our
local group here so like we dropped out of 4-h we but that was like you and
i made that decision not the kids it's like that's the only thing that i can
think of that we've like quit but other than that like when kids do hard things
and they accomplish it then it produces in their brain,
(34:16):
the ability to persevere later in life.
And that when that next hard thing comes along, then they're able to actually
do it and do it easier than the kid that never did the hard thing. Yeah.
Yeah. And doing, doing that is this refining process that God's going to take
you through because there's hard things that we choose.
(34:38):
And then there's hard things that are a product of something that we didn't choose.
The fallen world we live in. The fallen world we live in. Has given us.
We go through hardships. We go through trials. Those are hard things. Yeah.
But God will turn all things for good for those who love him and are called
according to his purpose.
(34:58):
Yeah. So it's like through those hard things is that refining process that God can take us through.
Yeah. and that we can learn and grow from, and that we can grow closer to him.
You know, your audience to go read Hebrews 12 for themselves,
but there's a small piece in here. I was just reading with a friend of mine.
(35:19):
We'd hiked up to the top of the mountain just yesterday, and we're sitting on
top of the mountain just having a conversation about this, about endurance in the race.
And running a race is uncomfortable until you stop. Running a race requires
endurance that you're never quite comfortable in, but you're always moving forward.
(35:41):
And this particular part of Hebrews 12 says, Let us run with endurance the race
that God has set before us.
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates our perfect faith.
Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame.
And now he's seated at the
(36:01):
place of honor beside god's throne so there
is this endurance piece to life where
we are going to endure hard things and we see that as pure joy and count it
as pure joy yeah and i think every every christian knows that verse and knows
it from the standpoint at least from my like upbringing being a christian i
(36:23):
always just thought of that as like my whole life from like start to finish until I die.
That's my race. And I think that.
That race can look like it has all these different sections on it.
And it's like you're running a lifelong marathon.
And for us parents, that marathon is a long piece of our life marathon that
(36:44):
goes by very quickly that, you know, we really have to, we have to just really
pursue the Lord in that section of it.
And then we get through that. And now there's the next section and the next section.
And instead of thinking of it
as you know really running the race just
of life in general i think that has to start in our home and so i don't know
(37:07):
i think i've always thought of that as such like a big picture concept of like
you know running the race and evangelizing and going out and doing all these
big big things but i think it starts inside the walls of our home and it has
to start there their first faithful little.
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, thanks for being in the tree house.
This is our first episode. This is the tree house builder.
(37:31):
That's what I really should have said at the beginning. That's true.
So he built the tree house.
Um, yeah. Well, thanks for having me on. Yeah. Um, look forward to engaging on this topic more.
Um, I just want to encourage all the men out there, you know,
you're not alone. There are other
men that are seeking to pursue Christ together and iron sharpens iron.
(37:55):
Music.
And we are called to lead our families. We need to lead them well. Yeah. Amen.
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Hey, you're listening to The Treehouse Storyteller. Meet me in The Treehouse
for God-shaped storytelling.
Treehouse Storyteller is where we can come together as messy parents seeking
Jesus together and raising kids to love Him too.
If you aren't scared of addressing cultural issues head on and finding a deeper
(00:24):
understanding of the biblical worldview to share with your children,
then you've come to the right place.
I'm not afraid to be transparent and tell all of the juicy details.
Our children are being chased by the world and it is our job to be well-equipped
and know not only how to lead our flock, but successfully send our arrows out
into the world one day to build the kingdom.
(00:46):
So snuggle up by the fire or soak up the sunshine with those earbuds in and
meet me in the tree house for some biblical storytelling.
Music.
How long does it take the spirit to move you?
(01:07):
We'll go ahead and introduce us. What are you waiting for? Hey guys,
welcome to the treehouse on this super special episode where I blackmailed,
I mean, convinced my sweet husband to join us.
So we've been talking and maybe I've been demanding. I don't know.
(01:30):
This is completely unscripted, by the way. It's very unscripted.
I want the audience needs to know that we did not practice. It's normal, though. Okay.
If they're listening to this or watching this, then I think they know that that's
what they can expect from me. That's our M.O.?
Modus operandi. So this is, let me introduce my guest.
(01:55):
I don't even know how to introduce you. We just had our 16th wedding anniversary
on Friday, but this is Cody Peru.
He is my husband first and foremost, but he is the leader of our family and a longtime Marine.
Works in oil and gas now. Lots of leadership under his belt.
(02:18):
If anyone knows anything about leadership, it is him.
Still learning. He's humble.
Trying to think what else is applicable to our podcast.
He likes lifting heavy things and moving furniture around on my command.
Yep. Got these chairs in right order. Uh-huh. What we want to talk about today
(02:39):
is really a passion of ours in raising our kiddos and,
you know, really the heart of a father and what healthy masculinity looks like.
We've talked about that a lot from time to time on this show,
but I just really felt like it was time to bring him on and kind of have that conversation.
(03:00):
I was at an event a couple of weeks ago where I had several moms really,
really passionately and concerningly ask the question of how do you get your husband on board?
We know what you're saying. We buy into what you're saying.
But what about the husband? And I just felt like I would do a disservice to
(03:22):
not try to answer that kind of question and not address that and give a resource
for you moms out there that feel like you really need a resource for your husband
and need to get on the same page about some things.
And so we just kind of wanted to kind of have a conversation and something that
we could all learn from and things that have worked for us and things that haven't.
(03:43):
And yeah. Yeah. And there's, there's a lot to cover there. So maybe some future episodes.
Yeah. Yeah. This is going to be like a teaser episode, or like I said earlier,
like a really good appetizer and we're going to come back for some main meals,
but we're squeezing this in between a lunch and a party that we have later.
So we just really felt like it was good timing to do it.
(04:03):
Yeah. And I think, you know, when I look at this and, you know,
we're very passionate about it and it's definitely something I'm passionate
about. It is ensuring men are fully alive.
And so there's that whole topic. There's a topic of masculinity,
men being the leaders of their household. There's a lot of topics you can cover here.
So I think the challenge that we're going to have here, even unscripted,
(04:27):
is just kind of honing in on a topic.
So I'll let you kind of lead the questioning lines, but but yeah I just just
know that this is a lot of branches to this discussion From here,
so maybe we can dig in more.
Yeah on some future episodes, but but yeah, definitely Something I'm passionate
about and something that I think from a societal standpoint We need,
(04:52):
and a great awakening, if you will, today. Yeah.
Well, one thing that I'll start by saying, since we really want to address the
family and the parents, one way that I have failed to let Cody lead over time, over years prior,
not that I'm great at it, but I've learned and I'm still learning to get better
(05:15):
at this, but is what does it look like to, I guess I'll ask myself the question,
but what does it look like to let your husband lead your family?
And I think that's hard for strong women.
I mean, I was raised to be a strong woman. I could have ran the household by
myself if I really wanted to.
If I wanted to choose to do that, I would have done it very poorly,
(05:38):
but I had that like gung-ho in me to do so.
I was a career woman at the start of our marriage.
I didn't want kids early on something crazy
happened when cody deployed and it
was like this weird primal instinct that i needed to like produce his children
and kind of take everything on yourself i think is yeah yeah so when you know
(06:01):
i return to that environment it makes that interaction more difficult because
you're used to playing both our roles yeah in the Yeah.
And I would say like Cody and I are both more on the lines of controlling individuals.
We like having control and we like things our way. We're both the babies and
our family is growing up, which has created challenges.
(06:23):
And so like, what does that look like to really control?
Allowing your husband, like as a wife, how do I let Cody lead?
And I'm like, how are ways, I mean, you can probably think of ways that that's
failed and ways that that works really well.
Yeah. Well, first of all, I want to came out of a word you said earlier,
but failure, I want to see it as a failure, you know, we're both growing in Christ.
(06:47):
And I think that's where, that's where there's, there's this divergence sometimes
because the, the, the husband and wife are both on their own faith journeys.
And sometimes, you know, one is more advanced than the other.
And some men aren't necessarily equipped to lead and nor would I say that their
heart is in a place to lead their family well.
(07:08):
And so there's, there's, there's that piece of it.
And I think back to your question about like, how did we, we learn to lead together?
Well, a lot of it was just, you know, us growing in our maturity and our faith
and us having to learn how how to yield to one another and operate in one flesh.
Because in reality, you know, it's not that I think there's this negative connotation
(07:32):
when it's heard that the man is to be the leader of the household.
Yeah. The negative connotation in societies today that men are overpowering.
They're ruling over their dominion when that is not the case at all.
It's a partnership that we are guiding our family and each other through our
(07:52):
own marriage on this journey, this race that we're running, if you will,
toward us and in our faith.
But would you say that, I mean, obviously that's been misused,
but it's unbiblically done.
Men can. Oh, yeah. And that gets us into the whole masculinity discussion about,
well, what is that? And then, you know, today's society is spun off into toxic masculinity.
(08:16):
And that, again, comes from this idea of ruling over this dominion,
this, you know, well, I don't want to be told what to do.
And it's not that at all. It's this partnership. It's this togetherness,
oneness that we're leading our family in.
Ultimately, though, you know, it calls us to live in humility to one another
and to yield to one another at the same time. So...
(08:40):
And again, society spun this off as to say, well, men are aggressive,
they're violent, they're just going to be domineering over the household, whatever.
And that created all of this negative connotation around what it means to be
a leader in the household.
When when really you know
(09:02):
we're both on a on our own faith journey we're both leading the family using
our spiritual giftings that we have in our own way at the end of the day you
know leadership is nothing but a responsibility and i think the differentiation
there is that leadership is the
responsibility of the man.
(09:23):
And with that responsibility comes, it's a weight.
And men have to feel the weight of that responsibility to take ownership over
leading their households.
That is leadership. If you look at definitionally, the definition of leadership
is truly just inspiring others.
(09:44):
Inspiring has nothing to do with commanding. So leadership doesn't say,
you command others leadership is you inspire
others leadership is a responsibility and
so if you look at that it's hard as a parent
sometimes though it it is then again
are are all men in a right place in a right standing with god to lead their
(10:08):
homes because let's face it like men today are broken they're distracted why
don't get me started that might be a whole episode The first couple of things that you think of.
Well, men are, men are distracted by phones.
They're distracted by work. They, they're distracted by a phone.
(10:31):
Misprioritization of what is important
i'm prioritizing work over family or they're
not prioritizing their relationship with
christ they're not to mention
you know just the absentee fathers that
are out there like yeah when i think of you know
(10:51):
and and this is a generalization okay
so i don't want men to take offense to this because
there are men out there that are fully alive doing the right thing but
men's hearts are are broken and injured and this is a big part of reclaim ministries
that i'm a part of is the the motto for reclaim ministries is all men fully
alive and the idea there is that men carry some hurts they carry some brokenness and then identifies.
(11:20):
Those wounds and you rebuild those wounds on the foundation of christ on the
truth of the gospel And what that does is now all of a sudden you begin to operate in the Holy Spirit.
You begin to operate mended in your relationship with Christ and you're fully
alive, meaning that you are fully operating in the Holy Spirit.
And that equips you to lead your family because alone we can't do it because
(11:43):
men are naturally fallen and broken, just like all of humanity.
You said that equips you.
So biblically, we know that God equips the called.
And would you say every man is called? Every man has a calling to lead his family.
I think there is innate foundational traits within men that feel that calling.
(12:06):
And most men don't know that it's there or they're too distracted to recognize
it's there, too wounded to recognize it's there,
or they're too drawn into their
own addictions or things that are distracting them from that calling.
Or they'll get that satisfaction somewhere else.
(12:31):
They'll fill their time with busyness and with work.
And I think that is where we have to kind of go in and surgically identify those wounds, if you will,
and rebuild back on that foundation of Christ to, again, make you fully alive
and operating in your calling.
Calling and understand, you know, at a heart level, exactly what your purpose
(12:55):
and calling is as a man to lead your household and lead your children and lead your wife.
So what does that look like on like a day to day?
Cause that's like a really big picture, but like zoning in like day to day.
So, yeah. So, so,
I'm a big proponent of like, you can have this vision, you can have this,
but I'm an execution guy.
(13:17):
Like that's kind of what the visionary has the visionary. I like to take the
vision and turn it into execution.
And so what's that look like on a day to day is a real tangible question.
And that's a big question, too. And I can go on for a while on this.
So maybe that's another episode.
But but let me let me think he just wants to take over the podcast.
(13:39):
Well, let me give you some wave tops.
So one, as men, you have to prepare, just like you would prepare for battle
and you'd put on the armor.
And, you know, just like in Ephesians 6.10, like it talks about,
you put on the armor to go do battle, but you don't put on the armor and stand around.
(14:01):
You're not playing dress up. Yeah, plain dress up. You put on the armor and
then at the end of Ephesians, Paul talks about like, now go boldly proclaim the gospel.
And so it's like, start your morning.
That's like getting in the word as a man, you know, maybe getting out to the
gym and sharpening those skills too.
(14:21):
And then you're diving into your day with your family. However,
that looks in the morning for you is different for everybody.
Maybe it's getting everyone off to school, doing this, doing that.
But as a man, like one thing I've learned to do is identify areas where maybe
one of the kids is struggling or I can see like emotionally,
(14:43):
maybe you're struggling on something. thing.
And it's as a man choosing to engage in those moments, because how easy is it to draw back?
And, you know, we were just having this conversation in our men's group here
recently about one of my favorite mottos is doing hard things. I say that a lot.
I think I've said it on the last few episodes leading up to this too.
(15:07):
Okay. Perfect. Perfect segue.
So doing hard things and a good friend of mine, and Craig actually made this
differentiation where oftentimes we think about doing hard things like the physical things.
Like I'm going to go climb this mountain. I'm going to go lift this weight.
And you think about doing something physically hard, which is great because
there's a refining process that happens too.
(15:28):
Doing hard things is so much more than that. It's choosing to engage with your
kids at the end of a long day when all you want to do is pop down on the couch
and turn on the game how many men in america do that today.
Hey, hey, everyone, you know, I'm going to go disengage and go watch the game. Yeah.
(15:48):
Zone out or scroll their phones or whatever it is.
At that moment, you have to choose the hard thing. The hard thing is putting down the phone.
You're dog tired. But hey, guess what? Your kids need you in this moment.
Your kids had some difficulties that they struggle with in the day and you have to choose to engage.
(16:10):
Or you can tell in the morning, maybe your wife is emotional or frustrated about
something and you have to choose to engage in that moment and say,
Hey, I want you to know, I'm going to come around you. I'm here for you. I'm with you.
You might be trying to rush out the door, but all it takes is a few seconds
to engage in that moment.
Say, Hey, maybe I'll call you on my way to work and let's, let's talk through
(16:32):
whatever's on your mind here.
And in, in choosing in those moments, And it's then tangibly housed with that
look because, you know, you're working at day during the day.
Your kids are doing their thing.
Your wife is doing doing her thing and you get home at the end of the day.
Again, choosing to engage in that moment and leading your family.
(16:54):
It's like recently I've had where we've walked in the door and I just felt like
this spirit of deception in the household.
We're all bickering. We're all fighting. and like the second you get home everyone's
bickering and fighting and I just felt so much tension in the household when
I walked in and it was like hey time out guys come here and like
(17:17):
We would just surround each other and we just kind of group hug kind of thing.
And I just prayed over everybody in that moment. I said, we can fight this spirit
of deception that's happening in here that's pitting us against each other because
that's precisely what the enemy wants.
And we can rid that from our household.
(17:38):
And in the name of Jesus, I just pray that this evil spirit,
whatever this is, present in our household today would just leave.
Yeah and one of the kids authority
with authority much power in that we we can
pray that out right right then and there and as
a leader in my household it's my responsibility to identify that
and to rid my household of that and and
(17:59):
then to get down with the kids at their level and understand
like okay what what is really going on here like
you know why why are we bicking why are we fighting and and let's
get to the root and then biblically let's identify
like okay there's some sort of maybe seed
planted of a lie and let's and let's let's
uproot that lie and replace it with truth and that's
(18:22):
like getting in the word yeah and studying that together and like one thing
that we've instituted recently that again we're not perfect on and we keep missing
nights and stuff but it's just trying to be purposeful about our family time
yeah in the evenings where we sit
down together and just say, hey, what's going on with you guys?
Oh, hey, I had a conflict today with a friend and here's what's going on with that.
(18:48):
Okay, well, let's dig into that and let's identify truth.
Well, that kind of started with our lantern night thing that we started doing
and we're due for another one.
We haven't done one for this week yet, but just unplugging completely.
And even to the extent of like turning off all the lights and just having a
lantern and the family is just in the space that the lantern is giving off light.
(19:12):
And it causes us to actually just be with each other and talk and address the hard things.
And I tell the story all the time because it was so impactful.
But one of those nights that we were having a family meeting and we got on the
topic of failure and Elijah brought this up and I give him all the credit because it was so impactful.
(19:32):
Insightful, but he was like, man, I don't, I don't like to fail.
And I feel like when I feel I'm letting you guys down. And I was like,
man, isn't that so meaningful because, and it brought up this deep,
meaningful conversation about what that means.
And it allowed us to talk about grace where grace enters in and like, yes,
(19:56):
your mom and I do hold you to a high standard because we want
what's best for you because we love you we are
doing this or we discipline you because we love
you it goes back to hebrews 12 if you
want to read about god's love through discipline that's a difficult topic go
read go read hebrews 12 together and that's exactly what we did in that moment
(20:17):
we're like well wait a minute and to say hey look one failure is okay like we
like to say and our family fail forward because failure is how we learn,
failure is how we grow. And failure is really hard for me.
It's like not even something I feel like I experienced until an adult.
It just felt like everything fit and worked and yeah.
(20:39):
So that's a hard one for me personally. Well, what do you feel when you fail though?
Like it's more like letting, there's a piece of it that's letting myself down,
but it's always feeling like I'm letting someone else down that's more important
to me. That is precisely what Elijah said.
Yeah. He wasn't worried about failing for himself. He's worried about feeling
like he was letting you and I down. Yeah.
(21:01):
And it was. Knowing that about our kids is invaluable because then we start
to see like, oh, they're, they're really hurting right now because we're being hard on them.
And this is what they're experiencing and what their emotions are doing.
And like the why behind like enacting out or just down in the dumps kind of
attitude that like teenager thing, because they're probably sitting there struggling.
(21:25):
Like, I mean, that might be one of those things that you don't think of as a parent.
Had we not given them a venue to discuss that, that would have never come up.
And maybe that would have come up three years from now when he's in a really
dark place because he feels like a failure.
When we have to say, look, failure and mistakes are 100% acceptable in this
(21:47):
household. we fail forward we learn from those things and that is oh by the
way biblical because we are all covered by grace and,
as men we are naturally fallen we live in a fallen world and we will sin we will fail,
and we're covered by the grace of jesus christ in our lives and like what a
(22:10):
way to take the gospel message and turn it into a way that a 13 year old can
understand that is so impactful because.
Now all of a sudden it takes the pressure off of like
oh okay okay i i don't have
to be perfect yeah absolutely not yeah we're
all perfectly imperfect and that's that's
(22:32):
the beautiful thing about jesus's life and resurrection and so that example
that we said just there is our our men leading their households in that way
not to say i have it all figured out because trust me i i am I'm a fallen and broken man myself,
but we are on a faith journey together.
(22:55):
It is the responsibility of leadership that keeps me engaged.
It is a responsibility of leadership. And the fact that I have the responsibility
of you and the kids is why I choose to engage and not draw back.
Because it would be easy if you're getting emotional to just run to the garage
and go tinker with my tools.
(23:16):
Yeah. Right? Yeah. They're a mess. they are a mess i need to get out there maybe
a little too much leading a little less tools,
but yeah there's worse things and and man but but men we cannot do it alone
either and this is where i'm a huge proponent and again along with reclaim ministries
(23:42):
and others where it's like,
you have to get into the community of other men.
You have to build a community of men. That has changed our marriage. Absolutely.
That has changed you. It's changed our marriage. It's changed how we've seen
a whole slew of things. Yeah.
You get in the word with other men and you're all imperfect men,
(24:03):
but iron sharpens iron. And the reality is, is that,
you need the accountability as a man. So many men are isolated today.
Yeah. And of the root causes that we listed earlier about what's going on with
men in America today, I guess we didn't talk about that, but isolation is the big one.
(24:26):
Isolation is huge. Yeah. Men are not in the company of other strong men or they're
in the company of men that are leading them astray,
saying, hey, it's better to go to the bar and get a drink than it is to choose
to engage with your family in the evenings.
Our men's group is at 7.30 on Thursday night.
(24:47):
And the idea is that, no, you sit down, have dinner with your family,
get your kids settled, get everyone settled.
Then you go and you work on sharpening the iron with the other men.
And we're equipping ourselves to lead our families.
You know what else we're doing? We're holding each other accountable. yeah and that
that again doing hard things doing hard
(25:08):
things is confronting another man saying hey man i
think i think you're living people don't like being corrected
no i don't i don't
either yeah i also don't like
asking for help but that's another
thing that we as men need to we need to
allow other men in yeah and yeah god
(25:29):
just keeps speaking to me more and more the past couple weeks
this like idea of vulnerability and like
doing this is vulnerable and and just being
able to be open about shortcomings like
that's not something i've been super like that has not come easy my whole life
i've just kind of kept it together kept face and it's it's hard to be vulnerable
(25:54):
but you have to trust who you're being vulnerable with too I think that's a big piece of it is,
you know, being vulnerable with the right core group of people that,
you know, will hold you up to biblical values and,
you know, you can trust that they will point you towards Jesus every time you need it.
Since we're on the topic of men, vulnerability is not something that's comfortable.
(26:18):
Again, doing hard things is being vulnerable.
And men, you would not believe how freeing it is to sit with other men and just
be completely vulnerable about where you're at with something.
And this, let's get back to the topic of masculinity, because I think this is
a stigma from what this cultural definition of masculinity versus maybe what it is.
(26:41):
And there's a great book I would recommend for any men out there.
It's called The Warrior Poet Way by John Lovell.
And it's this great discussion about the topic of masculinity because as men,
biblically, we're called to be warriors. Okay.
And yes we are called to be warriors we are called to fight but we're
(27:05):
called to fight for truth we're called to fight boldly
but we're also called to be poets and that's
the hard one we're called to be lovers and we're
called to love our wives like christ loved the church but
what does that even mean and you
know you think about a guy like david the mighty warrior won many
(27:25):
battles and lifelong long warrior but
there is you know dancing in the streets you
know singing to god and you know with with the
various musical instruments and and it's
a beautiful picture of both a warrior and a poet yeah because
they're the poet side of us does require vulnerability
(27:46):
it does require a lover heart
it does require you know humbling
ourselves to our shortcomings that
the warrior side of us is the fighter the one
that needs to stand for truth stand for our family and stand
in boldness yeah there's a lot of that that we need to do
today yeah absolutely can we
(28:08):
as a family need to be equipped together and be on the same page and
and know what that looks like for us and yeah and i think you know just thinking
about it's in acts four and this is right after peter Peter and John had just
healed the cripple and the Sadducees were all up in arms because they healed the cripple.
(28:28):
And they said, in what authority do you heal this cripple?
And Peter and John had to go before this council and basically state their case, so to speak.
I'm actually going to turn it real fast because I want to read something that
was really important from that.
Because in that verse, it says the members of the council were amazed when they
(28:53):
saw the boldness of Peter and John.
The members of the council who were the ones bringing them before the trial
were amazed by their boldness. They're amazed by their leadership.
They could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the scriptures.
And I was struck by that because Because like ordinary men,
(29:13):
it's this concept in Acts 4 where it talks about they were amazed by their boldness
and they called them ordinary men because they weren't trained in the scriptures
like the Pharisees and the Sadducees were, but they were still struck by their boldness.
And so many men today say, oh, well, I'm not super religious or I don't really
know the Bible or I don't know this or that.
(29:34):
And the reality is, is that we're all ordinary men just seeking after Jesus and that we're
It's our willingness to engage, our willingness to lead, our boldness to speak
truth that is going to ultimately help spread the gospel, help lead our families, help lead our kids well.
(29:55):
These were ordinary men were doing this in that way.
Because it's God's power when it comes down to it. It's not by their power alone they had.
It's all from the Holy Spirit. Well, and that's exactly, that's exactly what
it says in that previous verse.
It said, you know, when Peter and John healed, it basically said that they,
(30:15):
you know, through the power of the Holy Spirit, they were able to lead in boldness. Yeah.
And it goes back to equipping the called. And so men, you're called,
you have a calling over your life to lead your family.
And that's where God will follow
through on his promise and he will equip you. Men, we need a mission.
(30:35):
And our mission today is to lead our families well.
And that's going to translate in every piece of this society that we have.
Imagine if we have a society where all men are living fully alive,
where all men are fully engaged, leading their families.
That translates to leading their communities that translates
(30:56):
to leading their governments but we need
to wake up we need a we need men to wake up in our society today take responsibility
and take leadership uh in this moment right right here now and this next generation
needs that and we need to fulfill that mission and i think we are we are all
called to that mission as believers.
(31:18):
Yeah. So I ask everyone at the end of my podcast, really, what are some key values?
What are like the top couple core values that you would want to encourage other
parents to bring to the table in their households?
Again, we're completely off script here. I want to remind your audience.
(31:40):
I think I'm trying to put in a word what it would mean to be willing to engage.
There has to be like this boldness to engage in those moments in your kids'
lives when those opportunities arise.
Eyes and i think we the perfect example is
you know walking in and coming into a conflict
(32:01):
and be willing to engage in those moments
like and i'm not sure i'm finding the
right word for this but the word just boldness comes to mind yeah
and i think that's important
and it's this it's this authenticity in those
moments that you have to have in order to to identify
and and be able to pursue the verdicts out
(32:21):
on exactly how i would answer that if i had some time to
sit down think think about it well i think like you because i
know you i feel like you would also answer doing hard things
and doing hard things as a family and doing hard things with
your kids i just saw something the other day and
i haven't even told you about this but it it was basically
proving from a scientific like neuron brain level of what happens in your brain
(32:45):
when you do something hard and when you accomplish the hard thing like i don't
know any of the sciency terms but it was basically like your brain does the thing that it should do.
But if a specifically a child or a younger person starts to do something hard
and they don't feel like they can finish it and they quit doing the hard thing,
(33:07):
like pieces of your brain, like from a neuron, like teeny tiny microscopic level,
like they're severed, like there's a big issue.
And so with, yes. So what, Are you serious? Do you know the science?
A little bit. Keep going.
Okay. So it-
Connects the things. Okay. But when you don't do the hard thing,
(33:32):
it affects you later in life.
So if you were the kid that never had to finish the hard thing or your parents
didn't make you like complete the hard thing or they finished your homework
for you or whatever it is, or they let you just like quit something that you
had already committed to.
Like we just, we don't do that in our household. old we're like hey you committed
like unless it's really harmful like we
(33:55):
dropped out of 4-h like we just didn't align with our
local group here so like we dropped out of 4-h we but that was like you and
i made that decision not the kids it's like that's the only thing that i can
think of that we've like quit but other than that like when kids do hard things
and they accomplish it then it produces in their brain,
(34:16):
the ability to persevere later in life.
And that when that next hard thing comes along, then they're able to actually
do it and do it easier than the kid that never did the hard thing. Yeah.
Yeah. And doing, doing that is this refining process that God's going to take
you through because there's hard things that we choose.
(34:38):
And then there's hard things that are a product of something that we didn't choose.
The fallen world we live in. The fallen world we live in. Has given us.
We go through hardships. We go through trials. Those are hard things. Yeah.
But God will turn all things for good for those who love him and are called
according to his purpose.
(34:58):
Yeah. So it's like through those hard things is that refining process that God can take us through.
Yeah. and that we can learn and grow from, and that we can grow closer to him.
You know, your audience to go read Hebrews 12 for themselves,
but there's a small piece in here. I was just reading with a friend of mine.
(35:19):
We'd hiked up to the top of the mountain just yesterday, and we're sitting on
top of the mountain just having a conversation about this, about endurance in the race.
And running a race is uncomfortable until you stop. Running a race requires
endurance that you're never quite comfortable in, but you're always moving forward.
(35:41):
And this particular part of Hebrews 12 says, Let us run with endurance the race
that God has set before us.
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates our perfect faith.
Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame.
And now he's seated at the
(36:01):
place of honor beside god's throne so there
is this endurance piece to life where
we are going to endure hard things and we see that as pure joy and count it
as pure joy yeah and i think every every christian knows that verse and knows
it from the standpoint at least from my like upbringing being a christian i
(36:23):
always just thought of that as like my whole life from like start to finish until I die.
That's my race. And I think that.
That race can look like it has all these different sections on it.
And it's like you're running a lifelong marathon.
And for us parents, that marathon is a long piece of our life marathon that
(36:44):
goes by very quickly that, you know, we really have to, we have to just really
pursue the Lord in that section of it.
And then we get through that. And now there's the next section and the next section.
And instead of thinking of it
as you know really running the race just
of life in general i think that has to start in our home and so i don't know
(37:07):
i think i've always thought of that as such like a big picture concept of like
you know running the race and evangelizing and going out and doing all these
big big things but i think it starts inside the walls of our home and it has
to start there their first faithful little.
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, thanks for being in the tree house.
This is our first episode. This is the tree house builder.
(37:31):
That's what I really should have said at the beginning. That's true.
So he built the tree house.
Um, yeah. Well, thanks for having me on. Yeah. Um, look forward to engaging on this topic more.
Um, I just want to encourage all the men out there, you know,
you're not alone. There are other
men that are seeking to pursue Christ together and iron sharpens iron.
(37:55):
Music.
And we are called to lead our families. We need to lead them well. Yeah. Amen.
This episode was brought to you by Brave Books. If you're fed up with the woke
agenda that you see at all of the big box stores and on all of your local shelves,
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And be sure to use my link below in the show notes to get a free book today
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