December 24, 2024 • 22 mins
I have done my fair share of dating. As a certified life and transformation coach, I highly recommend that you heed my advice. I managed to find the perfect woman after many mistakes that, at times, almost cost me my life! Check out the Garage Community I have built just for men on Skool. Free weekly coaching calls. Join now and get the advice you need to find the right woman. https://www.skool.com/thegarage/about
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
What is up guys? Let's say you're trying to find the perfect woman.
I'm going to help you understand a lot of the red flags you need to look out for right now.
If you're looking for a woman, a lot of guys want a traditional woman. 4 00:00:12,319.999 --> 00:00:15,940 That is something that is very rare to find today. 5 00:00:16,719.999 --> 00:00:25,070 You and I probably are more likely to end up on a SpaceX rocket headed into outer space.
(00:25):
Uh, but really, I mean, in reality, You know, society's changed so much in the last 30 years, 40 years, and there's a reason why I'm going to go into the history just a little bit.
.9995So you understand why society has changed so much back in the day in the 50s, 40s, 50s, the Rockefellers when they were in power, and I believe they have never really come out of power. 8 00:00:47,234.9995 --> 00:00:50,299.9 They've got so much money back in the day they wanted it.
(00:50):
more taxes.
They wanted people to pay taxes.
And the best way to do that was to break up the nuclear family.
.999The best way to do that was to say, women, we're going to empower you.
You need to be empowered now and you need to go out and you need to work and you're just as good as that man.
And this allowed them to not only tax one person in the household, So this was a scam from the beginning, and it tore apart the nuclear family, which was the goal.
(01:20):
Women still do the same jobs. 16 00:01:22,854.999 --> 00:01:28,254.999 So over the last 50 years, they're not doing jobs that put them in harm's way.
.999They're not out putting out fires when someone needs to be apprehended that's a violent criminal.
It's not a woman that's doing it.
When Um, people need to go to war and be on the front lines and fight.
It's not women doing that either.
(01:42):
Women are still nurses and secretaries and in corporate and in positions where they're at a desk.
Behind a computer working.
They're not out building our buildings.
Okay, so nothing really changed.
All we did was put women, women into the workplace, take them away from their children, and then double up on the taxes. 26 00:02:01,439.999 --> 00:02:02,59.999 That's what happened. 27 00:02:02,789.999 --> 00:02:25,179.999 So beyond that, when we start looking at red flags, one of the first is obviously, Is the woman that you're currently dating or that you're looking for a traditional woman or does she want to have a career? If you're looking for a woman that you want to settle down with, that you want to create a family with, first of all, you're gonna have to be the kind of man that can handle that.
(02:25):
You're gonna have to be the kind of guy that can say, I'm willing to take on that responsibility.
You gotta want a traditional woman, but just because you want a traditional woman doesn't mean you don't have to actually create the environment to take care of that type of woman.
A traditional woman is going to want you to be the man in the relationship.
(02:47):
.999Women want to be guided by the way, men, women want you to take control.
Okay.
For example, when you go on a date, a woman wants you to call her, make the time, figure out the place they're going, you're going to help them order, um, open the door, pay for dinner, pick them up.
By the way, when you first do that, pick them up and drop them off.
(03:09):
All of that.
They want that.
Don't think they don't, no matter what they say.
And if they don't want that, this is not going to be a traditional woman.
Okay.
Now, once we have that set, and you understand you're looking for a traditional woman, you need to be able to do the work to build yourself in a way that you can support this traditional woman, this traditional family lifestyle.
(03:32):
So, If you're looking for a traditional woman, you're not going to want a woman who's consistently disrespectful.
So if she talks down to wait, staff, family, and friends, that's going to be an issue.
If she's rolling her eyes and she's dismissive about your thoughts or your opinions.
Not going to work, guys.
If she blames everybody else for her problems, exes, family, boss, and she takes zero accountability, that's also going to be a huge issue.
(03:57):
A lot of traditional women are not super emotionally volatile. 47 00:04:01,579.999 --> 00:04:11,510 There's not a lot of huge mood swings back and forth without explanation, and their reactions are often not super extreme to minor inconveniences.
.9You don't want a woman who's going to have huge reactions to just minor inconveniences because When that child comes along, when things start to change and the honeymoon phase starts to fizzle a bit, which it does, in reality, all relationships, everything is based on that.
(04:26):
you know, fireworks in the beginning, right? Lots of sex, lots of fun, lots of enjoyment.
.999But as reality and life sets in and you decide this is the person that I want to be with, you need to be taking into consideration what I'm saying right now. 51 00:04:40,779.999 --> 00:04:43,320 Okay, frequent mood swings can be an issue.
Lack of gratitude.
If there's no gratitude there from this woman, you're not, you're definitely not looking at a traditional woman.
(04:48):
.999Most traditional women are going to have some form of gratitude where they appreciate, you know, what you've done.
.999If you've taken them out to dinner, if you've done all the right things, if you're being the man that you're supposed to be, you're paying for dinner, you're respectful, you're caring, you're nurturing.
If you're doing those things right, she's going to be grateful that you are, and she's going to show you that respect in return.
Um, they're not going to act entitled.
(05:08):
And they're definitely going to pay attention that you've spent resources and time on them.
.999If they avoid difficult conversations and they resort to any kind of passive aggressive behavior, it was the worst.
I've, I've had that where I've, I've dated women that, you know, when they didn't get their way and they wanted something, things turned passive aggressive really quickly and it got ugly and it got ugly fast.
(05:32):
I have had women that I dated that, you know, I thought everything was just fine. 62 00:05:38,254.999 --> 00:05:54,385 I didn't realize they were, how many issues they had from their past and daddy issues, whatever it may be that they had, and they would end up Not wanting to leave or wanting to move in after a month or breaking into my home at two o'clock in the morning.
(05:54):
I've actually had those things happen with women. 64 00:05:57,374.999 --> 00:06:01,614.999 If you do not vet guys, it can literally get you killed. 65 00:06:01,724.999 --> 00:06:03,895 So all of those things are really important.
Other relationship red flags that I believe are really important are if they talk about their exes being crazy.
.9995Uh, if they claim that every single person they were with was nuts and that they were never a problem, that can be an issue of no self reflection. 68 00:06:17,999.9995 --> 00:06:25,170 If they don't, if they can't self reflect and say, Hey, I had some problems too, and they can't take that accountability on themselves, that's a problem.
(06:25):
So in each relationship, we're all pretty much responsible for a hundred percent of that relationship.
And if you're really the type of person that's going to say, Hey, My ex was responsible for a hundred percent of the problems.
You're with somebody that's dangerous because later on that's going to flip around and it's going to be you.
This is somebody who can't take responsibility at all for any of the past mistakes. 73 00:06:48,659.999 --> 00:06:49,649.999 Just me alone.
(06:49):
I would say some of the relationship I got into, I take responsibility for it.
I take responsibility for just even getting into the relationship.
That was my fault.
I take a hundred percent responsibility for the mistakes that I've made.
Even if the person was crazy and they were demented and I had no idea, I still take responsibility for the fact that I made that decision. 79 00:07:13,424.999 --> 00:07:18,645 Because owning that responsibility is part of growing and failure is not a bad thing.
(07:18):
.9995It's something we should learn from. 81 00:07:20,74.9995 --> 00:07:22,905.001 And if you don't learn from it, bad on you.
Okay.
So the claims of the relationship, the ex being crazy, not a good thing.
Serial relationship hopper.
If they're just from one Transcribed You know, relationships that never fit to the next, if they never take a moment to be alone and live with themselves and understand who they are, you're dealing with someone that is codependent.
(07:44):
You're dealing with somebody that can't be away from you, that won't be able to, that when they can't, when they don't know who they are and they haven't vetted themselves and look deep inside to understand what motivates them, what they believe in.
You're dealing with someone that is going to look to you to define their beliefs and when that happens There's nothing that's brought to the table.
(08:09):
.999And so you're not gonna have a relationship that is cohesive and growing You're gonna have one person that is depending upon you to define Everything and you do want a woman who can help to bring Something to the table, bring, bring a, a sense of self that is powerful and strong enough to help guide you as a man in the ways that you need to be guided, right? And somebody who's a serial relationship hopper and jumps into a new relationship without resolving the issues from the last one there, that's difficult.
(08:42):
History of cheating.
If they've cheated repeatedly and they don't have remorse and there's, there's no signs of growth.
If there's no remorse and they admit to cheating and.
.999They say, you know, it's happened often, guys, big red flag, okay, big red flag, um, constantly comparing her, her, you to her exes.
(09:02):
.9995If she brings up the exes a lot, she may be emotionally tied to her past, especially like the last ex. 94 00:09:08,714.9995 --> 00:09:13,600 If she's talking about the guy constantly, um, Either there was abuse or she's still tied to that.
She may not be out of it.
So look out for that.
You want to make sure that that is not something that's still going on.
If they're irresponsible with money.
If somebody is shopping constantly on Amazon, so like just bam, bam, bam.
You see Amazon box after Amazon box lining up at the door and return after return or whatever it may be. 101 00:09:29,119.999 --> 00:09:33,710 Any woman that has a history of debt and can't stop shopping.
(09:34):
is probably going to be an issue for you down the line.
Don't think it's not.
Don't ignore that red flag.
Okay? Because it's very common for this to happen.
Men will get the sex, they'll start to feel good, they'll enjoy it, and they'll overlook these little red flags that later on down the line can be a huge issue. 107 00:09:51,414.999 --> 00:09:52,584.999 Um, substance dependence. 108 00:09:52,584.999 --> 00:09:57,665 If they drink, if they, if they drink too much, if they're using drugs, this can be a huge problem.
(09:57):
I once dated a girl who I found out was definitely bulimic and I didn't know it at first, but when I found out I jumped out of the relationship, guys, I'm going to be honest.
I just left.
I didn't feel like I could stay in that because.
I just met her, it was a couple months, and I really didn't want to go down the rabbit hole of fixing whatever kind of issues she had from her childhood or wherever it was.
(10:26):
Um, and, and it was, it was obvious, you know, she was unhealthy and she was unhappy. 114 00:10:30,459.999 --> 00:10:36,600 And it didn't come out for a couple months, she did a good job of hiding it, so make sure you vet that, make sure you know.
Substance abuse, any kind of, you know, deep seated issues, okay? I know it's hard to spot immediately, but just take your time.
Um, no ambition or drive.
If they have no ambition, no clear goals, no direction for their life, that can be really, really dangerous.
(10:50):
Um, if they spend most of their time just complaining rather than, you know, taking action and moving on, on life and having a career, something they love to do, it may be not a career.
.9Maybe they're like, look, I want to be.
A wife and a mother.
That's my goal.
Okay.
What makes that, you know, work? Well, it's everything that I'm talking about here.
(11:10):
They have to have these traits.
You have to look out for these red flags.
.9995Okay. 127 00:11:14,949.9995 --> 00:11:21,440 If you're looking for that traditional woman, um, maybe they do have a career, but, but the traditional woman will say, I want to work around other women.
.999Mainly.
I don't really want to be around a lot of men.
Uh, I want to be in a situation where I'm doing something that is.
Healthy for me and healthy for our relationship and not putting me, you know, in front of a lot of different men Social media if they're on social media and they're sharing, you know, nudes or half nudes or whatever They're like, you know skimpily dressed guys This is not gonna work if a woman needs that much validation that much attention come on Be honest with yourselves.
(11:49):
Is this really somebody that you want to date? Is this really somebody that, you know, even though she may look good, she may be sexy? Okay, great. 133 00:11:56,614.999 --> 00:11:59,435 But she's also being sexy for every other guy out there.
.999There's nothing special, nothing kept for you. 135 00:12:01,964.999 --> 00:12:04,525 You know, a woman should be somewhat modest.
If she wants a man and she wants to be in a relationship that's serious, she shouldn't be flunting everything she has for everybody else.
(12:12):
Period.
That, uh, hard stop right there. 139 00:12:15,820.1 --> 00:12:17,509.9 Don't do it guys.
Don't think that because your girl is out there and she looks hot in a bikini and you're sharing her.
I saw a guy the other day, he does a YouTube channel and it's a vlog and he's a travel guy and he does great videos. 142 00:12:30,739.999 --> 00:12:31,720 Love his videos. 143 00:12:31,739.999 --> 00:12:33,210 Um, forget the name of the channel. 144 00:12:33,389.999 --> 00:12:50,545 He was like in some remote, um, area of Iceland and there were these, And his, he showed his girlfriends, but in a thong bikini multiple times, it was just total bait for the video.
(12:50):
And I thought, you know, you're using her for that.
.9995You are using the woman that you're supposed to care about. 147 00:12:56,4.9995 --> 00:12:59,045 You're supposed to protect for the.
end goal of, you know, validation for the vanity metric of your YouTube channel getting views.
.999Do you want to get paid for over sexualizing the thing that you're supposed to covet and protect? I don't think so.
(13:15):
Not a good idea, guys. 151 00:13:16,319.999 --> 00:13:17,030 So don't do that.
Don't, don't go with a woman who's got the, You know, half naked pictures of yourself all over social media.
It's going to be problems.
There's guys in her DMS.
I guarantee you she's messaging people.
There's no question.
This is not going to work.
If they're on social media, dating apps, like if they're on Tinder and they're on Bumble and you met them there, you know, unless you meet the one guys, you know, those, those take time to die out.
(13:38):
Women date more than one guy.
Like they are out there playing.
Most women will have three or four guys in the queue.
So you're just one.
So don't think just because you had a great date and things went really well, that this woman is not talking to other men.
Most are, and you're very lucky if they're not. 165 00:13:55,924.999 --> 00:13:57,525 So, pay attention to that.
Um, you know, boundaries.
(13:59):
If they allow other people that are toxic to dictate anything in their life, if they allow, You know, exes to come into their house and hang out with them.
If they're hanging out with old boyfriends that were an issue, if they struggle to say no to situations that don't align with their values, if they don't have values, if they haven't specifically said here are my beliefs, here's my political beliefs, here's my religious affiliation, here's how I Live my life if they have no idea of any of those things or they don't tell you that's an issue because if you're not Equally yoked with this woman and you're trying to make her into your wife And you want to have a relationship with this woman and you're not equally yoked That means you don't believe the same thing religiously and you don't have the same political affiliation These are difficult things.
(14:48):
Jealousy is rough.
Women that are jealous are often very, very insecure and it makes for a really terrible time. 171 00:14:57,34.999 --> 00:15:00,595 You don't want to have a jealous woman because it's so unsettling.
At first, it may be kind of cute or attractive that, well, she's jealous that I'm talking to another woman.
But when it gets crazy, guys, it gets nuts.
(15:09):
I've seen it.
I've felt it.
I've dealt with it.
Don't, don't, just don't go there, okay? Um, overly materialistic.
If they are so about the brand name, if Louis Vuitton means the world to them, guys, that's a tough one.
Come on.
You know, an over, over materialistic woman is going to be very demanding.
(15:32):
Later on down the line, she's going to want all of those brand names, and she won't be satisfied unless she has it.
So you want a woman that has kicked that out.
You want a woman that doesn't have that brand name desire.
Not gonna be a fun thing.
Uh, lack of emotional intelligence.
If a woman can't handle constructive criticism, are you laughing yet? Because a lot of women don't handle constructive criticism very well.
(15:56):
.999We've seen on Instagram where the woman is absolutely not going to admit she's wrong. 188 00:16:01,409.999 --> 00:16:06,639.9 There's like this hyrax creature out there on Instagram right now that goes, meow, meow.
Have you seen that one? It's hysterical.
Um, when a woman tries to admit she's wrong, it's like, you know, this, Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! They don't want to admit it.
(16:24):
Um, it's a, kind of, it's a meme for everything.
.999I love it.
If they struggle to empathize with your feelings or your experiences, this is going to be a complication too.
If she can't understand where you were, like, for example, myself.
.999You all know my story is crazy, right? I mean, it's like, okay.
I was in recovery.
I flipped a car six times.
(16:45):
I was an alcoholic.
I had a felony charge.
I had a lot of issues and I was very straightforward with the women that I dated.
I was here's who I was.
Here's what I did and I'm out of it.
I'm different.
.999I've changed.
I went through a really tough time in my life and I came out the other side.
So I was honest.
(17:05):
So you have to be honest.
If a woman's not willing to be honest with you about her past and you start it.
Things start coming up and you go, Oh, red flag.
Why didn't she tell me this, you know, right away, you want to come correct right away.
So right up front, look, be honest.
This is who I am.
This is what I'm about.
Now.
The deeper red flags are really manipulation.
(17:26):
.999If they start manipulating, they don't respect your boundaries.
.999They habitually lie.
.9995They have a toxic, toxic inner circle. 219 00:17:31,694.9995 --> 00:17:37,244.999 The worst thing is when these women have these toxic circles of friends who they hate each other. 220 00:17:37,284.999 --> 00:17:39,354.999 Most of these women, they don't really like each other. 221 00:17:40,64.999 --> 00:17:41,524.999 They have their catty.
They backstab, they are passive aggressive.
Yet they still hang out.
(17:46):
It baffles my mind.
To, to me, that might be one of the greatest mysteries in the history of humanity is women and their friends whom they don't really like, but they still hang out with.
.999So the toxic inner circle, if she surrounds herself with people who bring drama or like to talk about negativity, all the bad times, constantly talking about bad times, nothing new, nothing fun, nothing interesting.
(18:07):
That is going to be a problem.
If they like guys, if you catch them lying about small things, trust me, that is going to be a big problem.
That's a trust breaker right there.
You do not want a woman who's going to lie to you.
I've been there.
I've dealt with it. 233 00:18:19,304.999 --> 00:18:21,124.999 And then on the other side, look.
Once you get deeper, you meet the family.
If they have toxic family dynamics, if they're constantly in drama, they're fighting, they're gossiping, if they are differently yoked than you, if they come from a different class level, if they are emotionally or physically abusive, if they have a history of enabling destructive behaviors, guys, stay away.
(18:41):
Trust me on this.
Okay.
If you see the mother and this is a great indicator of what this woman is going to look like, just so you know, you're looking at what your future wife may look like.
So take that into consideration.
Okay.
It's very important.
.999It's very important.
.999You can laugh, but take when you look at that woman. 244 00:18:59,49.999 --> 00:19:04,160 What does that woman look like? Because you don't think 30 years from now, but you should.
(19:05):
You should, because that is what you're going to be sleeping with, okay? Overly dependent, um, on family.
If they're totally dependent and relies on their family for advice, support, and can't get away from it.
Siblings, if they cannot separate, they're enmeshed with their siblings.
.999I remember I, I dated a girl once who was with me. 249 00:19:26,204.999 --> 00:19:28,14.999 We were getting, we were getting along. 250 00:19:28,344.999 --> 00:19:30,94.999 It was a pretty good relationship. 251 00:19:30,914.999 --> 00:19:38,715 And She had booked a cruise with her sister that was like a rave cruise.
(19:38):
It was like a party EDM festival on a boat just a rager because her sister had just gotten divorced or separated and This was a couple months in and one of her really good friends came to her and said, you know I think you're in a really good relationship right now.
I will pay for that ticket I will pay whatever cost you had I'll give you the money.
(20:01):
Don't go You On this cruise with your sister.
And I told her, look, you do what you want to do, but that's not really my thing.
I just admitted it.
Like I'm not into that.
.9995And this girl was sober, like she didn't use drugs or alcohol, but she was still in that life. 259 00:20:18,44.9995 --> 00:20:20,485 It's like, she couldn't let go completely of that life.
.999And so I told her kind of my ultimatum, like that's a no for me.
(20:26):
And she still went and sure enough, uh, we had like a little go around when she got back trying because like I said, it was fun.
We enjoyed each other's company, but no, I just couldn't do it.
She was so enmeshed with her sister in that relationship that her sister came first and her sister was always going to come first.
So she relies on her family like that.
(20:47):
Be careful guys.
Um, if she has no respect for her family, be careful there as well because if she doesn't respect her family, later on she's not going to respect yours and the one that you create.
.999And if she has no boundaries with her family, that's important too, okay? So be careful all those things.
If she, if she melts down under pressure, guys, if she melts down, the second some small little thing happens, like I said, be careful.
(21:09):
This is not good because there's going to be pressure.
Life is pressure.
.999When you start to grow together, you want someone you can grow with, that can handle all of the chaos.
.999When life throws chaos at you, you want somebody that you can come together with, and you can strategize with, and you can overcome that chaos.
.999Because more chaos creates more chaos. 274 00:21:29,39.999 --> 00:21:32,469.999 If they can't handle it, and they fly out of control, then you're gonna be in trouble. 275 00:21:32,479.999 --> 00:21:34,680 If they blame everyone else, you're Big trouble.
(21:35):
So be careful.
All those red flags.
By the way, one last thing, um, Gossip, if they gossip a lot, okay, if they're into that and they can't stop talking about other people, they're small, they're really small.
.999If they talk about ideas, that's different.
If they talk about ideas, that's different.
If they talk about what they want to do with their future, that's different, but gossip about other people, that's a very, that's a lack of intelligence.
(21:59):
That's a very low IQ person that does that.
So you don't want to be with a low IQ person.
You want to be with somebody that lifts you up and hold you up.
So I hope these red flags help some of you guys out there that are trying to date right now.
I've been through it guys.
I've been, I'm 50 years old.
I've been in this a long time and I understand.
how women operate.
(22:19):
I've dated a lot of different women.
I've found the love of my life.
I'm in a wonderful marriage, and it took a lot of failures to get where I'm at.
.999This is not gonna be a linear process for you.
This is gonna be an ebb and flow. 295 00:22:31,354.999 --> 00:22:34,594.999 There's gonna be highs and lows, and there's gonna be a lot of failures and hopefully not.
Hopefully you find that perfect person for you right off the bat.
Hopefully this hopefully this video helps you do that.
(22:41):
Okay, have a great day.
What is up guys? Let's say you're trying to find the perfect woman.
I'm going to help you understand a lot of the red flags you need to look out for right now.
If you're looking for a woman, a lot of guys want a traditional woman. 4 00:00:12,319.999 --> 00:00:15,940 That is something that is very rare to find today. 5 00:00:16,719.999 --> 00:00:25,070 You and I probably are more likely to end up on a SpaceX rocket headed into outer space.
(00:25):
Uh, but really, I mean, in reality, You know, society's changed so much in the last 30 years, 40 years, and there's a reason why I'm going to go into the history just a little bit.
.9995So you understand why society has changed so much back in the day in the 50s, 40s, 50s, the Rockefellers when they were in power, and I believe they have never really come out of power. 8 00:00:47,234.9995 --> 00:00:50,299.9 They've got so much money back in the day they wanted it.
(00:50):
more taxes.
They wanted people to pay taxes.
And the best way to do that was to break up the nuclear family.
.999The best way to do that was to say, women, we're going to empower you.
You need to be empowered now and you need to go out and you need to work and you're just as good as that man.
And this allowed them to not only tax one person in the household, So this was a scam from the beginning, and it tore apart the nuclear family, which was the goal.
(01:20):
Women still do the same jobs. 16 00:01:22,854.999 --> 00:01:28,254.999 So over the last 50 years, they're not doing jobs that put them in harm's way.
.999They're not out putting out fires when someone needs to be apprehended that's a violent criminal.
It's not a woman that's doing it.
When Um, people need to go to war and be on the front lines and fight.
It's not women doing that either.
(01:42):
Women are still nurses and secretaries and in corporate and in positions where they're at a desk.
Behind a computer working.
They're not out building our buildings.
Okay, so nothing really changed.
All we did was put women, women into the workplace, take them away from their children, and then double up on the taxes. 26 00:02:01,439.999 --> 00:02:02,59.999 That's what happened. 27 00:02:02,789.999 --> 00:02:25,179.999 So beyond that, when we start looking at red flags, one of the first is obviously, Is the woman that you're currently dating or that you're looking for a traditional woman or does she want to have a career? If you're looking for a woman that you want to settle down with, that you want to create a family with, first of all, you're gonna have to be the kind of man that can handle that.
(02:25):
You're gonna have to be the kind of guy that can say, I'm willing to take on that responsibility.
You gotta want a traditional woman, but just because you want a traditional woman doesn't mean you don't have to actually create the environment to take care of that type of woman.
A traditional woman is going to want you to be the man in the relationship.
(02:47):
.999Women want to be guided by the way, men, women want you to take control.
Okay.
For example, when you go on a date, a woman wants you to call her, make the time, figure out the place they're going, you're going to help them order, um, open the door, pay for dinner, pick them up.
By the way, when you first do that, pick them up and drop them off.
(03:09):
All of that.
They want that.
Don't think they don't, no matter what they say.
And if they don't want that, this is not going to be a traditional woman.
Okay.
Now, once we have that set, and you understand you're looking for a traditional woman, you need to be able to do the work to build yourself in a way that you can support this traditional woman, this traditional family lifestyle.
(03:32):
So, If you're looking for a traditional woman, you're not going to want a woman who's consistently disrespectful.
So if she talks down to wait, staff, family, and friends, that's going to be an issue.
If she's rolling her eyes and she's dismissive about your thoughts or your opinions.
Not going to work, guys.
If she blames everybody else for her problems, exes, family, boss, and she takes zero accountability, that's also going to be a huge issue.
(03:57):
A lot of traditional women are not super emotionally volatile. 47 00:04:01,579.999 --> 00:04:11,510 There's not a lot of huge mood swings back and forth without explanation, and their reactions are often not super extreme to minor inconveniences.
.9You don't want a woman who's going to have huge reactions to just minor inconveniences because When that child comes along, when things start to change and the honeymoon phase starts to fizzle a bit, which it does, in reality, all relationships, everything is based on that.
(04:26):
you know, fireworks in the beginning, right? Lots of sex, lots of fun, lots of enjoyment.
.999But as reality and life sets in and you decide this is the person that I want to be with, you need to be taking into consideration what I'm saying right now. 51 00:04:40,779.999 --> 00:04:43,320 Okay, frequent mood swings can be an issue.
Lack of gratitude.
If there's no gratitude there from this woman, you're not, you're definitely not looking at a traditional woman.
(04:48):
.999Most traditional women are going to have some form of gratitude where they appreciate, you know, what you've done.
.999If you've taken them out to dinner, if you've done all the right things, if you're being the man that you're supposed to be, you're paying for dinner, you're respectful, you're caring, you're nurturing.
If you're doing those things right, she's going to be grateful that you are, and she's going to show you that respect in return.
Um, they're not going to act entitled.
(05:08):
And they're definitely going to pay attention that you've spent resources and time on them.
.999If they avoid difficult conversations and they resort to any kind of passive aggressive behavior, it was the worst.
I've, I've had that where I've, I've dated women that, you know, when they didn't get their way and they wanted something, things turned passive aggressive really quickly and it got ugly and it got ugly fast.
(05:32):
I have had women that I dated that, you know, I thought everything was just fine. 62 00:05:38,254.999 --> 00:05:54,385 I didn't realize they were, how many issues they had from their past and daddy issues, whatever it may be that they had, and they would end up Not wanting to leave or wanting to move in after a month or breaking into my home at two o'clock in the morning.
(05:54):
I've actually had those things happen with women. 64 00:05:57,374.999 --> 00:06:01,614.999 If you do not vet guys, it can literally get you killed. 65 00:06:01,724.999 --> 00:06:03,895 So all of those things are really important.
Other relationship red flags that I believe are really important are if they talk about their exes being crazy.
.9995Uh, if they claim that every single person they were with was nuts and that they were never a problem, that can be an issue of no self reflection. 68 00:06:17,999.9995 --> 00:06:25,170 If they don't, if they can't self reflect and say, Hey, I had some problems too, and they can't take that accountability on themselves, that's a problem.
(06:25):
So in each relationship, we're all pretty much responsible for a hundred percent of that relationship.
And if you're really the type of person that's going to say, Hey, My ex was responsible for a hundred percent of the problems.
You're with somebody that's dangerous because later on that's going to flip around and it's going to be you.
This is somebody who can't take responsibility at all for any of the past mistakes. 73 00:06:48,659.999 --> 00:06:49,649.999 Just me alone.
(06:49):
I would say some of the relationship I got into, I take responsibility for it.
I take responsibility for just even getting into the relationship.
That was my fault.
I take a hundred percent responsibility for the mistakes that I've made.
Even if the person was crazy and they were demented and I had no idea, I still take responsibility for the fact that I made that decision. 79 00:07:13,424.999 --> 00:07:18,645 Because owning that responsibility is part of growing and failure is not a bad thing.
(07:18):
.9995It's something we should learn from. 81 00:07:20,74.9995 --> 00:07:22,905.001 And if you don't learn from it, bad on you.
Okay.
So the claims of the relationship, the ex being crazy, not a good thing.
Serial relationship hopper.
If they're just from one Transcribed You know, relationships that never fit to the next, if they never take a moment to be alone and live with themselves and understand who they are, you're dealing with someone that is codependent.
(07:44):
You're dealing with somebody that can't be away from you, that won't be able to, that when they can't, when they don't know who they are and they haven't vetted themselves and look deep inside to understand what motivates them, what they believe in.
You're dealing with someone that is going to look to you to define their beliefs and when that happens There's nothing that's brought to the table.
(08:09):
.999And so you're not gonna have a relationship that is cohesive and growing You're gonna have one person that is depending upon you to define Everything and you do want a woman who can help to bring Something to the table, bring, bring a, a sense of self that is powerful and strong enough to help guide you as a man in the ways that you need to be guided, right? And somebody who's a serial relationship hopper and jumps into a new relationship without resolving the issues from the last one there, that's difficult.
(08:42):
History of cheating.
If they've cheated repeatedly and they don't have remorse and there's, there's no signs of growth.
If there's no remorse and they admit to cheating and.
.999They say, you know, it's happened often, guys, big red flag, okay, big red flag, um, constantly comparing her, her, you to her exes.
(09:02):
.9995If she brings up the exes a lot, she may be emotionally tied to her past, especially like the last ex. 94 00:09:08,714.9995 --> 00:09:13,600 If she's talking about the guy constantly, um, Either there was abuse or she's still tied to that.
She may not be out of it.
So look out for that.
You want to make sure that that is not something that's still going on.
If they're irresponsible with money.
If somebody is shopping constantly on Amazon, so like just bam, bam, bam.
You see Amazon box after Amazon box lining up at the door and return after return or whatever it may be. 101 00:09:29,119.999 --> 00:09:33,710 Any woman that has a history of debt and can't stop shopping.
(09:34):
is probably going to be an issue for you down the line.
Don't think it's not.
Don't ignore that red flag.
Okay? Because it's very common for this to happen.
Men will get the sex, they'll start to feel good, they'll enjoy it, and they'll overlook these little red flags that later on down the line can be a huge issue. 107 00:09:51,414.999 --> 00:09:52,584.999 Um, substance dependence. 108 00:09:52,584.999 --> 00:09:57,665 If they drink, if they, if they drink too much, if they're using drugs, this can be a huge problem.
(09:57):
I once dated a girl who I found out was definitely bulimic and I didn't know it at first, but when I found out I jumped out of the relationship, guys, I'm going to be honest.
I just left.
I didn't feel like I could stay in that because.
I just met her, it was a couple months, and I really didn't want to go down the rabbit hole of fixing whatever kind of issues she had from her childhood or wherever it was.
(10:26):
Um, and, and it was, it was obvious, you know, she was unhealthy and she was unhappy. 114 00:10:30,459.999 --> 00:10:36,600 And it didn't come out for a couple months, she did a good job of hiding it, so make sure you vet that, make sure you know.
Substance abuse, any kind of, you know, deep seated issues, okay? I know it's hard to spot immediately, but just take your time.
Um, no ambition or drive.
If they have no ambition, no clear goals, no direction for their life, that can be really, really dangerous.
(10:50):
Um, if they spend most of their time just complaining rather than, you know, taking action and moving on, on life and having a career, something they love to do, it may be not a career.
.9Maybe they're like, look, I want to be.
A wife and a mother.
That's my goal.
Okay.
What makes that, you know, work? Well, it's everything that I'm talking about here.
(11:10):
They have to have these traits.
You have to look out for these red flags.
.9995Okay. 127 00:11:14,949.9995 --> 00:11:21,440 If you're looking for that traditional woman, um, maybe they do have a career, but, but the traditional woman will say, I want to work around other women.
.999Mainly.
I don't really want to be around a lot of men.
Uh, I want to be in a situation where I'm doing something that is.
Healthy for me and healthy for our relationship and not putting me, you know, in front of a lot of different men Social media if they're on social media and they're sharing, you know, nudes or half nudes or whatever They're like, you know skimpily dressed guys This is not gonna work if a woman needs that much validation that much attention come on Be honest with yourselves.
(11:49):
Is this really somebody that you want to date? Is this really somebody that, you know, even though she may look good, she may be sexy? Okay, great. 133 00:11:56,614.999 --> 00:11:59,435 But she's also being sexy for every other guy out there.
.999There's nothing special, nothing kept for you. 135 00:12:01,964.999 --> 00:12:04,525 You know, a woman should be somewhat modest.
If she wants a man and she wants to be in a relationship that's serious, she shouldn't be flunting everything she has for everybody else.
(12:12):
Period.
That, uh, hard stop right there. 139 00:12:15,820.1 --> 00:12:17,509.9 Don't do it guys.
Don't think that because your girl is out there and she looks hot in a bikini and you're sharing her.
I saw a guy the other day, he does a YouTube channel and it's a vlog and he's a travel guy and he does great videos. 142 00:12:30,739.999 --> 00:12:31,720 Love his videos. 143 00:12:31,739.999 --> 00:12:33,210 Um, forget the name of the channel. 144 00:12:33,389.999 --> 00:12:50,545 He was like in some remote, um, area of Iceland and there were these, And his, he showed his girlfriends, but in a thong bikini multiple times, it was just total bait for the video.
(12:50):
And I thought, you know, you're using her for that.
.9995You are using the woman that you're supposed to care about. 147 00:12:56,4.9995 --> 00:12:59,045 You're supposed to protect for the.
end goal of, you know, validation for the vanity metric of your YouTube channel getting views.
.999Do you want to get paid for over sexualizing the thing that you're supposed to covet and protect? I don't think so.
(13:15):
Not a good idea, guys. 151 00:13:16,319.999 --> 00:13:17,030 So don't do that.
Don't, don't go with a woman who's got the, You know, half naked pictures of yourself all over social media.
It's going to be problems.
There's guys in her DMS.
I guarantee you she's messaging people.
There's no question.
This is not going to work.
If they're on social media, dating apps, like if they're on Tinder and they're on Bumble and you met them there, you know, unless you meet the one guys, you know, those, those take time to die out.
(13:38):
Women date more than one guy.
Like they are out there playing.
Most women will have three or four guys in the queue.
So you're just one.
So don't think just because you had a great date and things went really well, that this woman is not talking to other men.
Most are, and you're very lucky if they're not. 165 00:13:55,924.999 --> 00:13:57,525 So, pay attention to that.
Um, you know, boundaries.
(13:59):
If they allow other people that are toxic to dictate anything in their life, if they allow, You know, exes to come into their house and hang out with them.
If they're hanging out with old boyfriends that were an issue, if they struggle to say no to situations that don't align with their values, if they don't have values, if they haven't specifically said here are my beliefs, here's my political beliefs, here's my religious affiliation, here's how I Live my life if they have no idea of any of those things or they don't tell you that's an issue because if you're not Equally yoked with this woman and you're trying to make her into your wife And you want to have a relationship with this woman and you're not equally yoked That means you don't believe the same thing religiously and you don't have the same political affiliation These are difficult things.
(14:48):
Jealousy is rough.
Women that are jealous are often very, very insecure and it makes for a really terrible time. 171 00:14:57,34.999 --> 00:15:00,595 You don't want to have a jealous woman because it's so unsettling.
At first, it may be kind of cute or attractive that, well, she's jealous that I'm talking to another woman.
But when it gets crazy, guys, it gets nuts.
(15:09):
I've seen it.
I've felt it.
I've dealt with it.
Don't, don't, just don't go there, okay? Um, overly materialistic.
If they are so about the brand name, if Louis Vuitton means the world to them, guys, that's a tough one.
Come on.
You know, an over, over materialistic woman is going to be very demanding.
(15:32):
Later on down the line, she's going to want all of those brand names, and she won't be satisfied unless she has it.
So you want a woman that has kicked that out.
You want a woman that doesn't have that brand name desire.
Not gonna be a fun thing.
Uh, lack of emotional intelligence.
If a woman can't handle constructive criticism, are you laughing yet? Because a lot of women don't handle constructive criticism very well.
(15:56):
.999We've seen on Instagram where the woman is absolutely not going to admit she's wrong. 188 00:16:01,409.999 --> 00:16:06,639.9 There's like this hyrax creature out there on Instagram right now that goes, meow, meow.
Have you seen that one? It's hysterical.
Um, when a woman tries to admit she's wrong, it's like, you know, this, Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! Wawoooww! They don't want to admit it.
(16:24):
Um, it's a, kind of, it's a meme for everything.
.999I love it.
If they struggle to empathize with your feelings or your experiences, this is going to be a complication too.
If she can't understand where you were, like, for example, myself.
.999You all know my story is crazy, right? I mean, it's like, okay.
I was in recovery.
I flipped a car six times.
(16:45):
I was an alcoholic.
I had a felony charge.
I had a lot of issues and I was very straightforward with the women that I dated.
I was here's who I was.
Here's what I did and I'm out of it.
I'm different.
.999I've changed.
I went through a really tough time in my life and I came out the other side.
So I was honest.
(17:05):
So you have to be honest.
If a woman's not willing to be honest with you about her past and you start it.
Things start coming up and you go, Oh, red flag.
Why didn't she tell me this, you know, right away, you want to come correct right away.
So right up front, look, be honest.
This is who I am.
This is what I'm about.
Now.
The deeper red flags are really manipulation.
(17:26):
.999If they start manipulating, they don't respect your boundaries.
.999They habitually lie.
.9995They have a toxic, toxic inner circle. 219 00:17:31,694.9995 --> 00:17:37,244.999 The worst thing is when these women have these toxic circles of friends who they hate each other. 220 00:17:37,284.999 --> 00:17:39,354.999 Most of these women, they don't really like each other. 221 00:17:40,64.999 --> 00:17:41,524.999 They have their catty.
They backstab, they are passive aggressive.
Yet they still hang out.
(17:46):
It baffles my mind.
To, to me, that might be one of the greatest mysteries in the history of humanity is women and their friends whom they don't really like, but they still hang out with.
.999So the toxic inner circle, if she surrounds herself with people who bring drama or like to talk about negativity, all the bad times, constantly talking about bad times, nothing new, nothing fun, nothing interesting.
(18:07):
That is going to be a problem.
If they like guys, if you catch them lying about small things, trust me, that is going to be a big problem.
That's a trust breaker right there.
You do not want a woman who's going to lie to you.
I've been there.
I've dealt with it. 233 00:18:19,304.999 --> 00:18:21,124.999 And then on the other side, look.
Once you get deeper, you meet the family.
If they have toxic family dynamics, if they're constantly in drama, they're fighting, they're gossiping, if they are differently yoked than you, if they come from a different class level, if they are emotionally or physically abusive, if they have a history of enabling destructive behaviors, guys, stay away.
(18:41):
Trust me on this.
Okay.
If you see the mother and this is a great indicator of what this woman is going to look like, just so you know, you're looking at what your future wife may look like.
So take that into consideration.
Okay.
It's very important.
.999It's very important.
.999You can laugh, but take when you look at that woman. 244 00:18:59,49.999 --> 00:19:04,160 What does that woman look like? Because you don't think 30 years from now, but you should.
(19:05):
You should, because that is what you're going to be sleeping with, okay? Overly dependent, um, on family.
If they're totally dependent and relies on their family for advice, support, and can't get away from it.
Siblings, if they cannot separate, they're enmeshed with their siblings.
.999I remember I, I dated a girl once who was with me. 249 00:19:26,204.999 --> 00:19:28,14.999 We were getting, we were getting along. 250 00:19:28,344.999 --> 00:19:30,94.999 It was a pretty good relationship. 251 00:19:30,914.999 --> 00:19:38,715 And She had booked a cruise with her sister that was like a rave cruise.
(19:38):
It was like a party EDM festival on a boat just a rager because her sister had just gotten divorced or separated and This was a couple months in and one of her really good friends came to her and said, you know I think you're in a really good relationship right now.
I will pay for that ticket I will pay whatever cost you had I'll give you the money.
(20:01):
Don't go You On this cruise with your sister.
And I told her, look, you do what you want to do, but that's not really my thing.
I just admitted it.
Like I'm not into that.
.9995And this girl was sober, like she didn't use drugs or alcohol, but she was still in that life. 259 00:20:18,44.9995 --> 00:20:20,485 It's like, she couldn't let go completely of that life.
.999And so I told her kind of my ultimatum, like that's a no for me.
(20:26):
And she still went and sure enough, uh, we had like a little go around when she got back trying because like I said, it was fun.
We enjoyed each other's company, but no, I just couldn't do it.
She was so enmeshed with her sister in that relationship that her sister came first and her sister was always going to come first.
So she relies on her family like that.
(20:47):
Be careful guys.
Um, if she has no respect for her family, be careful there as well because if she doesn't respect her family, later on she's not going to respect yours and the one that you create.
.999And if she has no boundaries with her family, that's important too, okay? So be careful all those things.
If she, if she melts down under pressure, guys, if she melts down, the second some small little thing happens, like I said, be careful.
(21:09):
This is not good because there's going to be pressure.
Life is pressure.
.999When you start to grow together, you want someone you can grow with, that can handle all of the chaos.
.999When life throws chaos at you, you want somebody that you can come together with, and you can strategize with, and you can overcome that chaos.
.999Because more chaos creates more chaos. 274 00:21:29,39.999 --> 00:21:32,469.999 If they can't handle it, and they fly out of control, then you're gonna be in trouble. 275 00:21:32,479.999 --> 00:21:34,680 If they blame everyone else, you're Big trouble.
(21:35):
So be careful.
All those red flags.
By the way, one last thing, um, Gossip, if they gossip a lot, okay, if they're into that and they can't stop talking about other people, they're small, they're really small.
.999If they talk about ideas, that's different.
If they talk about ideas, that's different.
If they talk about what they want to do with their future, that's different, but gossip about other people, that's a very, that's a lack of intelligence.
(21:59):
That's a very low IQ person that does that.
So you don't want to be with a low IQ person.
You want to be with somebody that lifts you up and hold you up.
So I hope these red flags help some of you guys out there that are trying to date right now.
I've been through it guys.
I've been, I'm 50 years old.
I've been in this a long time and I understand.
how women operate.
(22:19):
I've dated a lot of different women.
I've found the love of my life.
I'm in a wonderful marriage, and it took a lot of failures to get where I'm at.
.999This is not gonna be a linear process for you.
This is gonna be an ebb and flow. 295 00:22:31,354.999 --> 00:22:34,594.999 There's gonna be highs and lows, and there's gonna be a lot of failures and hopefully not.
Hopefully you find that perfect person for you right off the bat.
Hopefully this hopefully this video helps you do that.
(22:41):
Okay, have a great day.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.