Episode Transcript
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This is the mindset every single guy needs to adopt in his dating life.
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.001It is called the Let Them Theory.
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And trust me, I learned this the hard way.
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Through addiction, a broken neck, and losing a loved one.
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Literally everything.
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So stay with me because this might just save you from walking down the path.
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I had to walk and trust me, you don't want to do it.
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Unfiltered with Matt Farnsworth.
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If the girl you've been seeing ghosts, you let her if she chooses to be with someone else.
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Let her.
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If she doesn't want to make a commitment, dude, you let her.
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Because here's the thing, no matter the amount you try to control or the effort on your part is going to change what she decides to do.
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No amount of double or triple texting is suddenly going to make her realize you're the one.
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Chasing people only shows one thing.
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It shows that you don't value yourself enough.
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And believe me, she's not going to respect you either if you keep chasing her.
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.001Big turn off, guys.
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I'm gonna tell you we're not letting go, let me.
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This isn't just some theory I cooked up to sound good.
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When my ex wife cheated on me, I couldn't let her go.
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I became obsessed with figuring out why.
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Why did she cheat? Wasn't I enough? Why did I lose control of my life? It was all about me.
And I was self conscious and guess what happened? The obsession, it wrecked me.
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I started tracking her social media.
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I was looking at everything she liked, every comment, her photos.
I was overanalyzing everything like I was a detective.
It was like a never ending loop in my head, trying to find closure.
That was never.
Going to come from that situation.
In fact, I think she liked doing it to me.
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And where did that lead me? Into addiction.
It pushed me further into self destruction until I was in a car that flipped six times, breaking my neck.
.999I ended up broke, in a rehab, rock bottom, completely lost.
.9All because I couldn't just do it.
Let her go.
And here's something a lot of you need to hear right now.
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Social media is making this way worse.
You're constantly plugged into their life.
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You're seeing everything they do in real time and what they post, who they're with and what they're liking.
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And you think you're staying in form gives you control.
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But the truth is it's really making you weak.
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Every time you look at that, you get weaker.
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You're not informed.
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You're a digital stalker.
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And while you're glued to her every move, she's out there living her life.
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Probably not thinking twice about you.
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I have a theory that you're either inking your path or consuming someone else's.
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That's it.
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There is no middle ground.
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You can't be the creator of your success if you're constantly consumed by what someone else is doing, who she's with, or whether she's texting you back.
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You can't build an empire while you're obsessed with her Instagram.
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Every minute you spend analyzing her in this life is a minute you're stealing from your own success.
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I'm telling you this, this mindset is the difference between the winners and the losers, guys.
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And like I said, I learned this lesson so painfully.
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Not letting go, holding on to someone who was no longer right for me destroyed me.
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When my ex wife cheated, I obsessed over fixing the relationship.
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Like, I, I felt like I had to understand the why.
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I needed closure.
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That I really didn't need.
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But in doing that, I gave her control over my mind.
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My life spiraled.
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I drank more.
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I became more reckless.
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I wasn't inking my own path.
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I was walking in circles around her life, trying to make sense of what had happened when there was no making sense of what had happened.
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And here's the brutal truth.
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In relationships that are toxic, you have to let go.
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You can't fix them.
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It's the same thing.
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Letting go isn't losing.
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It's reclaiming your sanity.
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Now you're probably like, well, what do I do? Well, here's what you do while you let them go.
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You hit the gym.
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You put all that energy into something that builds you up.
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You need to get stronger.
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build discipline.
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And when she's out there living her life, you're sculpting yours.
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Every minute in the gym is a step toward becoming the version of yourself that you are proud of.
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Then you shift your focus from her to something that will actually pay dividends in your future.
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You hustle harder, you build your brand, you start your business you've been thinking about, and you do not waste your mental bandwidth on someone who is not invested in you.
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You go out and you build something that is going to last no matter who is with you.
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Then you be the guy that other people admire.
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You work on your mindset, you be tough, you make the money, you develop skills.
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That way, instead of obsessing over someone else's life, you're too busy building a life that others would want to be a part of.
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Everything changes.
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People become attracted to you versus repelled by you.
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Now, when I finally let go, when I focused on myself, when I got clean, started working out and hustled hard, that's when things started to change.
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I stopped trying to force love.
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I stopped chasing it entirely.
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In fact, I just turned my back on it.
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And you know what? That's when I met my now wife.
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I wasn't searching.
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I wasn't obsessing.
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I was focused on myself and it just clicked.
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There was no stress, no games.
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We couldn't get enough of each other and it wasn't out of obsession.
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It was out of a respect and being in the right place mentally.
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Look, I know this message isn't easy for some of you out there that are in this letting go, focusing on yourself.
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It sounds simple, right? But it's hard as hell when you're in the middle of it.
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But trust me on this guys control.
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It's an illusion.
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The more you try to control her, the more you'll lose yourself.
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And no woman is worth losing yourself over.
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Nobody is! You're wasting so much time obsessing over someone else's actions when you could be focusing on what actually matters You The right woman will come along when you're focused on inking your own path success doesn't come from chasing.
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It comes from building.
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So here's my challenge to you.
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Stop consuming her life.
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Start creating your own.
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Delete her from your mind, from your phone and from your social media.
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Channel that energy into your gym sessions, your business, your future.
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Trust me.
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When you start focusing your growth, The right person will come along.
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You're either inking your path or obsessing over someone else's.
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What's it going to be? I'd love it if you would drop a comment below.
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What are you going to start creating instead of consuming? Like what's your next move in building your empire? Let's hear how you're going to ink your own path instead of consuming someone else's.
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If this message hit home, make sure to like and subscribe.
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Hit that bell notification so you don't miss out.
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Let's ink your path to success together.