October 23, 2024 • 7 mins
In this episode of Unfiltered, Matt Farnsworth shares the essential mindset for every guy's dating life: The Let Them Theory. Through personal experiences including addiction, a broken neck, and loss, Matt emphasizes the importance of letting go of relationships that are not working. He stresses that chasing after someone who does not value you undermines your self-worth and leads to destructive behavior. Matt advises focusing on personal growth, hitting the gym, building your brand, and creating your future instead of obsessing over someone else's life. By doing so, the right person will eventually come along when you are at your best. Join Matt in this transformative journey and start inking your own path to success.
00:00 Introduction to the Let Them Theory
01:08 The Painful Lessons Learned
02:13 The Impact of Social Media
04:02 Reclaiming Your Sanity
04:14 Building a Better You
05:21 The Turning Point
06:33 The Challenge to Ink Your Own Path
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This is the mindset every single guy needs to adopt in his dating life.
(00:05):
.001It is called the Let Them Theory. 3 00:00:07,620.001 --> 00:00:10,440.001 And trust me, I learned this the hard way. 4 00:00:10,790.001 --> 00:00:13,374.901 Through addiction, a broken neck, and losing a loved one. 5 00:00:13,545.001 --> 00:00:15,45.001 Literally everything. 6 00:00:15,45.001 --> 00:00:20,475.001 So stay with me because this might just save you from walking down the path. 7 00:00:20,865.001 --> 00:00:24,305.001 I had to walk and trust me, you don't want to do it. 8 00:00:26,755.001 --> 00:00:28,425.001 Unfiltered with Matt Farnsworth. 9 00:00:28,817.001 --> 00:00:33,977.001 If the girl you've been seeing ghosts, you let her if she chooses to be with someone else. 10 00:00:34,657.001 --> 00:00:35,507.001 Let her. 11 00:00:35,827.001 --> 00:00:40,417.001 If she doesn't want to make a commitment, dude, you let her. 12 00:00:40,947.001 --> 00:00:50,27.001 Because here's the thing, no matter the amount you try to control or the effort on your part is going to change what she decides to do. 13 00:00:50,587.001 --> 00:00:56,927.001 No amount of double or triple texting is suddenly going to make her realize you're the one. 14 00:00:57,457.001 --> 00:00:59,977.001 Chasing people only shows one thing. 15 00:01:00,582.001 --> 00:01:02,962.001 It shows that you don't value yourself enough. 16 00:01:03,492.001 --> 00:01:07,172.001 And believe me, she's not going to respect you either if you keep chasing her.
(01:07):
.001Big turn off, guys. 18 00:01:08,972.001 --> 00:01:11,322.001 I'm gonna tell you we're not letting go, let me. 19 00:01:11,752.001 --> 00:01:14,171.999 This isn't just some theory I cooked up to sound good. 20 00:01:14,551.999 --> 00:01:17,431.999 When my ex wife cheated on me, I couldn't let her go. 21 00:01:17,651.999 --> 00:01:20,291.999 I became obsessed with figuring out why. 22 00:01:20,601.999 --> 00:01:27,057 Why did she cheat? Wasn't I enough? Why did I lose control of my life? It was all about me.
And I was self conscious and guess what happened? The obsession, it wrecked me.
(01:33):
I started tracking her social media. 25 00:01:36,86.999 --> 00:01:39,467 I was looking at everything she liked, every comment, her photos.
I was overanalyzing everything like I was a detective.
It was like a never ending loop in my head, trying to find closure.
That was never.
Going to come from that situation.
In fact, I think she liked doing it to me.
(01:55):
And where did that lead me? Into addiction.
It pushed me further into self destruction until I was in a car that flipped six times, breaking my neck.
.999I ended up broke, in a rehab, rock bottom, completely lost.
.9All because I couldn't just do it.
Let her go.
And here's something a lot of you need to hear right now.
(02:15):
Social media is making this way worse.
You're constantly plugged into their life. 39 00:02:22,276.999 --> 00:02:28,516.999 You're seeing everything they do in real time and what they post, who they're with and what they're liking. 40 00:02:28,586.999 --> 00:02:30,906.999 And you think you're staying in form gives you control. 41 00:02:31,266.999 --> 00:02:34,336.999 But the truth is it's really making you weak. 42 00:02:34,346.999 --> 00:02:36,506.999 Every time you look at that, you get weaker. 43 00:02:36,826.999 --> 00:02:37,716.999 You're not informed. 44 00:02:38,106.999 --> 00:02:39,186.999 You're a digital stalker. 45 00:02:39,556.999 --> 00:02:43,716.999 And while you're glued to her every move, she's out there living her life. 46 00:02:44,11.999 --> 00:02:46,531.999 Probably not thinking twice about you. 47 00:02:46,531.999 --> 00:02:50,831.999 I have a theory that you're either inking your path or consuming someone else's. 48 00:02:51,31.999 --> 00:02:51,521.999 That's it. 49 00:02:51,761.999 --> 00:02:53,21.999 There is no middle ground. 50 00:02:53,321.999 --> 00:03:03,571.999 You can't be the creator of your success if you're constantly consumed by what someone else is doing, who she's with, or whether she's texting you back. 51 00:03:04,301.999 --> 00:03:08,341.999 You can't build an empire while you're obsessed with her Instagram. 52 00:03:08,841.999 --> 00:03:16,421.999 Every minute you spend analyzing her in this life is a minute you're stealing from your own success. 53 00:03:16,791.999 --> 00:03:23,111.998 I'm telling you this, this mindset is the difference between the winners and the losers, guys. 54 00:03:23,111.998 --> 00:03:25,611.999 And like I said, I learned this lesson so painfully. 55 00:03:25,901.998 --> 00:03:31,421.998 Not letting go, holding on to someone who was no longer right for me destroyed me. 56 00:03:31,421.998 --> 00:03:35,361.998 When my ex wife cheated, I obsessed over fixing the relationship. 57 00:03:35,781.998 --> 00:03:39,701.998 Like, I, I felt like I had to understand the why. 58 00:03:40,81.997 --> 00:03:41,451.998 I needed closure. 59 00:03:41,731.998 --> 00:03:42,731.998 That I really didn't need. 60 00:03:42,741.998 --> 00:03:46,271.998 But in doing that, I gave her control over my mind. 61 00:03:46,911.998 --> 00:03:47,961.998 My life spiraled. 62 00:03:47,961.998 --> 00:03:48,951.998 I drank more. 63 00:03:49,141.998 --> 00:03:50,561.998 I became more reckless. 64 00:03:50,731.998 --> 00:03:53,191.998 I wasn't inking my own path. 65 00:03:53,501.998 --> 00:04:00,961.997 I was walking in circles around her life, trying to make sense of what had happened when there was no making sense of what had happened. 66 00:04:01,121.998 --> 00:04:02,321.998 And here's the brutal truth. 67 00:04:02,781.998 --> 00:04:06,401.998 In relationships that are toxic, you have to let go. 68 00:04:06,641.998 --> 00:04:07,741.998 You can't fix them. 69 00:04:07,901.998 --> 00:04:08,621.998 It's the same thing. 70 00:04:08,911.998 --> 00:04:10,501.998 Letting go isn't losing. 71 00:04:10,661.998 --> 00:04:12,821.998 It's reclaiming your sanity. 72 00:04:12,821.998 --> 00:04:16,651.999 Now you're probably like, well, what do I do? Well, here's what you do while you let them go. 73 00:04:17,121.998 --> 00:04:18,161.999 You hit the gym. 74 00:04:18,591.999 --> 00:04:22,591.999 You put all that energy into something that builds you up. 75 00:04:23,111.999 --> 00:04:24,501.999 You need to get stronger. 76 00:04:24,946.999 --> 00:04:25,856.999 build discipline. 77 00:04:26,126.999 --> 00:04:29,846.999 And when she's out there living her life, you're sculpting yours. 78 00:04:29,976.999 --> 00:04:36,886.998 Every minute in the gym is a step toward becoming the version of yourself that you are proud of. 79 00:04:36,886.998 --> 00:04:43,546.998 Then you shift your focus from her to something that will actually pay dividends in your future. 80 00:04:43,816.998 --> 00:04:54,566.998 You hustle harder, you build your brand, you start your business you've been thinking about, and you do not waste your mental bandwidth on someone who is not invested in you. 81 00:04:54,946.998 --> 00:05:00,146.998 You go out and you build something that is going to last no matter who is with you. 82 00:05:00,146.998 --> 00:05:03,916.998 Then you be the guy that other people admire. 83 00:05:04,106.998 --> 00:05:08,336.998 You work on your mindset, you be tough, you make the money, you develop skills. 84 00:05:08,586.998 --> 00:05:16,246.998 That way, instead of obsessing over someone else's life, you're too busy building a life that others would want to be a part of. 85 00:05:16,616.998 --> 00:05:17,626.998 Everything changes. 86 00:05:17,626.998 --> 00:05:21,446.998 People become attracted to you versus repelled by you. 87 00:05:21,446.998 --> 00:05:30,66.997 Now, when I finally let go, when I focused on myself, when I got clean, started working out and hustled hard, that's when things started to change. 88 00:05:30,286.997 --> 00:05:31,646.997 I stopped trying to force love. 89 00:05:32,56.998 --> 00:05:33,816.998 I stopped chasing it entirely. 90 00:05:34,116.998 --> 00:05:35,676.998 In fact, I just turned my back on it. 91 00:05:35,676.998 --> 00:05:38,336.998 And you know what? That's when I met my now wife. 92 00:05:38,656.998 --> 00:05:39,516.998 I wasn't searching. 93 00:05:39,816.998 --> 00:05:41,6.998 I wasn't obsessing. 94 00:05:41,256.998 --> 00:05:44,546.998 I was focused on myself and it just clicked. 95 00:05:45,96.998 --> 00:05:46,616.998 There was no stress, no games. 96 00:05:47,166.998 --> 00:05:50,536.998 We couldn't get enough of each other and it wasn't out of obsession. 97 00:05:50,916.998 --> 00:05:55,886.997 It was out of a respect and being in the right place mentally. 98 00:05:55,886.997 --> 00:06:01,206.997 Look, I know this message isn't easy for some of you out there that are in this letting go, focusing on yourself. 99 00:06:01,226.997 --> 00:06:06,56.997 It sounds simple, right? But it's hard as hell when you're in the middle of it. 100 00:06:06,256.997 --> 00:06:08,596.997 But trust me on this guys control. 101 00:06:08,616.997 --> 00:06:09,376.997 It's an illusion. 102 00:06:09,876.997 --> 00:06:13,256.997 The more you try to control her, the more you'll lose yourself. 103 00:06:13,556.997 --> 00:06:16,716.997 And no woman is worth losing yourself over. 104 00:06:16,766.997 --> 00:06:31,726.996 Nobody is! You're wasting so much time obsessing over someone else's actions when you could be focusing on what actually matters You The right woman will come along when you're focused on inking your own path success doesn't come from chasing. 105 00:06:32,16.996 --> 00:06:33,366.996 It comes from building. 106 00:06:33,366.996 --> 00:06:35,426.996 So here's my challenge to you. 107 00:06:36,26.996 --> 00:06:38,376.996 Stop consuming her life. 108 00:06:38,836.996 --> 00:06:40,596.996 Start creating your own. 109 00:06:40,956.996 --> 00:06:45,76.995 Delete her from your mind, from your phone and from your social media. 110 00:06:45,76.995 --> 00:06:49,636.995 Channel that energy into your gym sessions, your business, your future. 111 00:06:49,916.995 --> 00:06:50,516.995 Trust me. 112 00:06:50,896.995 --> 00:06:55,866.995 When you start focusing your growth, The right person will come along. 113 00:06:55,866.995 --> 00:06:59,786.995 You're either inking your path or obsessing over someone else's. 114 00:07:00,346.995 --> 00:07:03,146.995 What's it going to be? I'd love it if you would drop a comment below. 115 00:07:03,416.996 --> 00:07:14,666.995 What are you going to start creating instead of consuming? Like what's your next move in building your empire? Let's hear how you're going to ink your own path instead of consuming someone else's. 116 00:07:14,716.995 --> 00:07:17,856.995 If this message hit home, make sure to like and subscribe. 117 00:07:18,186.995 --> 00:07:20,226.995 Hit that bell notification so you don't miss out. 118 00:07:20,536.995 --> 00:07:24,36.995 Let's ink your path to success together.
This is the mindset every single guy needs to adopt in his dating life.
(00:05):
.001It is called the Let Them Theory. 3 00:00:07,620.001 --> 00:00:10,440.001 And trust me, I learned this the hard way. 4 00:00:10,790.001 --> 00:00:13,374.901 Through addiction, a broken neck, and losing a loved one. 5 00:00:13,545.001 --> 00:00:15,45.001 Literally everything. 6 00:00:15,45.001 --> 00:00:20,475.001 So stay with me because this might just save you from walking down the path. 7 00:00:20,865.001 --> 00:00:24,305.001 I had to walk and trust me, you don't want to do it. 8 00:00:26,755.001 --> 00:00:28,425.001 Unfiltered with Matt Farnsworth. 9 00:00:28,817.001 --> 00:00:33,977.001 If the girl you've been seeing ghosts, you let her if she chooses to be with someone else. 10 00:00:34,657.001 --> 00:00:35,507.001 Let her. 11 00:00:35,827.001 --> 00:00:40,417.001 If she doesn't want to make a commitment, dude, you let her. 12 00:00:40,947.001 --> 00:00:50,27.001 Because here's the thing, no matter the amount you try to control or the effort on your part is going to change what she decides to do. 13 00:00:50,587.001 --> 00:00:56,927.001 No amount of double or triple texting is suddenly going to make her realize you're the one. 14 00:00:57,457.001 --> 00:00:59,977.001 Chasing people only shows one thing. 15 00:01:00,582.001 --> 00:01:02,962.001 It shows that you don't value yourself enough. 16 00:01:03,492.001 --> 00:01:07,172.001 And believe me, she's not going to respect you either if you keep chasing her.
(01:07):
.001Big turn off, guys. 18 00:01:08,972.001 --> 00:01:11,322.001 I'm gonna tell you we're not letting go, let me. 19 00:01:11,752.001 --> 00:01:14,171.999 This isn't just some theory I cooked up to sound good. 20 00:01:14,551.999 --> 00:01:17,431.999 When my ex wife cheated on me, I couldn't let her go. 21 00:01:17,651.999 --> 00:01:20,291.999 I became obsessed with figuring out why. 22 00:01:20,601.999 --> 00:01:27,057 Why did she cheat? Wasn't I enough? Why did I lose control of my life? It was all about me.
And I was self conscious and guess what happened? The obsession, it wrecked me.
(01:33):
I started tracking her social media. 25 00:01:36,86.999 --> 00:01:39,467 I was looking at everything she liked, every comment, her photos.
I was overanalyzing everything like I was a detective.
It was like a never ending loop in my head, trying to find closure.
That was never.
Going to come from that situation.
In fact, I think she liked doing it to me.
(01:55):
And where did that lead me? Into addiction.
It pushed me further into self destruction until I was in a car that flipped six times, breaking my neck.
.999I ended up broke, in a rehab, rock bottom, completely lost.
.9All because I couldn't just do it.
Let her go.
And here's something a lot of you need to hear right now.
(02:15):
Social media is making this way worse.
You're constantly plugged into their life. 39 00:02:22,276.999 --> 00:02:28,516.999 You're seeing everything they do in real time and what they post, who they're with and what they're liking. 40 00:02:28,586.999 --> 00:02:30,906.999 And you think you're staying in form gives you control. 41 00:02:31,266.999 --> 00:02:34,336.999 But the truth is it's really making you weak. 42 00:02:34,346.999 --> 00:02:36,506.999 Every time you look at that, you get weaker. 43 00:02:36,826.999 --> 00:02:37,716.999 You're not informed. 44 00:02:38,106.999 --> 00:02:39,186.999 You're a digital stalker. 45 00:02:39,556.999 --> 00:02:43,716.999 And while you're glued to her every move, she's out there living her life. 46 00:02:44,11.999 --> 00:02:46,531.999 Probably not thinking twice about you. 47 00:02:46,531.999 --> 00:02:50,831.999 I have a theory that you're either inking your path or consuming someone else's. 48 00:02:51,31.999 --> 00:02:51,521.999 That's it. 49 00:02:51,761.999 --> 00:02:53,21.999 There is no middle ground. 50 00:02:53,321.999 --> 00:03:03,571.999 You can't be the creator of your success if you're constantly consumed by what someone else is doing, who she's with, or whether she's texting you back. 51 00:03:04,301.999 --> 00:03:08,341.999 You can't build an empire while you're obsessed with her Instagram. 52 00:03:08,841.999 --> 00:03:16,421.999 Every minute you spend analyzing her in this life is a minute you're stealing from your own success. 53 00:03:16,791.999 --> 00:03:23,111.998 I'm telling you this, this mindset is the difference between the winners and the losers, guys. 54 00:03:23,111.998 --> 00:03:25,611.999 And like I said, I learned this lesson so painfully. 55 00:03:25,901.998 --> 00:03:31,421.998 Not letting go, holding on to someone who was no longer right for me destroyed me. 56 00:03:31,421.998 --> 00:03:35,361.998 When my ex wife cheated, I obsessed over fixing the relationship. 57 00:03:35,781.998 --> 00:03:39,701.998 Like, I, I felt like I had to understand the why. 58 00:03:40,81.997 --> 00:03:41,451.998 I needed closure. 59 00:03:41,731.998 --> 00:03:42,731.998 That I really didn't need. 60 00:03:42,741.998 --> 00:03:46,271.998 But in doing that, I gave her control over my mind. 61 00:03:46,911.998 --> 00:03:47,961.998 My life spiraled. 62 00:03:47,961.998 --> 00:03:48,951.998 I drank more. 63 00:03:49,141.998 --> 00:03:50,561.998 I became more reckless. 64 00:03:50,731.998 --> 00:03:53,191.998 I wasn't inking my own path. 65 00:03:53,501.998 --> 00:04:00,961.997 I was walking in circles around her life, trying to make sense of what had happened when there was no making sense of what had happened. 66 00:04:01,121.998 --> 00:04:02,321.998 And here's the brutal truth. 67 00:04:02,781.998 --> 00:04:06,401.998 In relationships that are toxic, you have to let go. 68 00:04:06,641.998 --> 00:04:07,741.998 You can't fix them. 69 00:04:07,901.998 --> 00:04:08,621.998 It's the same thing. 70 00:04:08,911.998 --> 00:04:10,501.998 Letting go isn't losing. 71 00:04:10,661.998 --> 00:04:12,821.998 It's reclaiming your sanity. 72 00:04:12,821.998 --> 00:04:16,651.999 Now you're probably like, well, what do I do? Well, here's what you do while you let them go. 73 00:04:17,121.998 --> 00:04:18,161.999 You hit the gym. 74 00:04:18,591.999 --> 00:04:22,591.999 You put all that energy into something that builds you up. 75 00:04:23,111.999 --> 00:04:24,501.999 You need to get stronger. 76 00:04:24,946.999 --> 00:04:25,856.999 build discipline. 77 00:04:26,126.999 --> 00:04:29,846.999 And when she's out there living her life, you're sculpting yours. 78 00:04:29,976.999 --> 00:04:36,886.998 Every minute in the gym is a step toward becoming the version of yourself that you are proud of. 79 00:04:36,886.998 --> 00:04:43,546.998 Then you shift your focus from her to something that will actually pay dividends in your future. 80 00:04:43,816.998 --> 00:04:54,566.998 You hustle harder, you build your brand, you start your business you've been thinking about, and you do not waste your mental bandwidth on someone who is not invested in you. 81 00:04:54,946.998 --> 00:05:00,146.998 You go out and you build something that is going to last no matter who is with you. 82 00:05:00,146.998 --> 00:05:03,916.998 Then you be the guy that other people admire. 83 00:05:04,106.998 --> 00:05:08,336.998 You work on your mindset, you be tough, you make the money, you develop skills. 84 00:05:08,586.998 --> 00:05:16,246.998 That way, instead of obsessing over someone else's life, you're too busy building a life that others would want to be a part of. 85 00:05:16,616.998 --> 00:05:17,626.998 Everything changes. 86 00:05:17,626.998 --> 00:05:21,446.998 People become attracted to you versus repelled by you. 87 00:05:21,446.998 --> 00:05:30,66.997 Now, when I finally let go, when I focused on myself, when I got clean, started working out and hustled hard, that's when things started to change. 88 00:05:30,286.997 --> 00:05:31,646.997 I stopped trying to force love. 89 00:05:32,56.998 --> 00:05:33,816.998 I stopped chasing it entirely. 90 00:05:34,116.998 --> 00:05:35,676.998 In fact, I just turned my back on it. 91 00:05:35,676.998 --> 00:05:38,336.998 And you know what? That's when I met my now wife. 92 00:05:38,656.998 --> 00:05:39,516.998 I wasn't searching. 93 00:05:39,816.998 --> 00:05:41,6.998 I wasn't obsessing. 94 00:05:41,256.998 --> 00:05:44,546.998 I was focused on myself and it just clicked. 95 00:05:45,96.998 --> 00:05:46,616.998 There was no stress, no games. 96 00:05:47,166.998 --> 00:05:50,536.998 We couldn't get enough of each other and it wasn't out of obsession. 97 00:05:50,916.998 --> 00:05:55,886.997 It was out of a respect and being in the right place mentally. 98 00:05:55,886.997 --> 00:06:01,206.997 Look, I know this message isn't easy for some of you out there that are in this letting go, focusing on yourself. 99 00:06:01,226.997 --> 00:06:06,56.997 It sounds simple, right? But it's hard as hell when you're in the middle of it. 100 00:06:06,256.997 --> 00:06:08,596.997 But trust me on this guys control. 101 00:06:08,616.997 --> 00:06:09,376.997 It's an illusion. 102 00:06:09,876.997 --> 00:06:13,256.997 The more you try to control her, the more you'll lose yourself. 103 00:06:13,556.997 --> 00:06:16,716.997 And no woman is worth losing yourself over. 104 00:06:16,766.997 --> 00:06:31,726.996 Nobody is! You're wasting so much time obsessing over someone else's actions when you could be focusing on what actually matters You The right woman will come along when you're focused on inking your own path success doesn't come from chasing. 105 00:06:32,16.996 --> 00:06:33,366.996 It comes from building. 106 00:06:33,366.996 --> 00:06:35,426.996 So here's my challenge to you. 107 00:06:36,26.996 --> 00:06:38,376.996 Stop consuming her life. 108 00:06:38,836.996 --> 00:06:40,596.996 Start creating your own. 109 00:06:40,956.996 --> 00:06:45,76.995 Delete her from your mind, from your phone and from your social media. 110 00:06:45,76.995 --> 00:06:49,636.995 Channel that energy into your gym sessions, your business, your future. 111 00:06:49,916.995 --> 00:06:50,516.995 Trust me. 112 00:06:50,896.995 --> 00:06:55,866.995 When you start focusing your growth, The right person will come along. 113 00:06:55,866.995 --> 00:06:59,786.995 You're either inking your path or obsessing over someone else's. 114 00:07:00,346.995 --> 00:07:03,146.995 What's it going to be? I'd love it if you would drop a comment below. 115 00:07:03,416.996 --> 00:07:14,666.995 What are you going to start creating instead of consuming? Like what's your next move in building your empire? Let's hear how you're going to ink your own path instead of consuming someone else's. 116 00:07:14,716.995 --> 00:07:17,856.995 If this message hit home, make sure to like and subscribe. 117 00:07:18,186.995 --> 00:07:20,226.995 Hit that bell notification so you don't miss out. 118 00:07:20,536.995 --> 00:07:24,36.995 Let's ink your path to success together.
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