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February 19, 2024 21 mins

Virginia Fox is a female empowerment and success coach as well as a best-selling author of over 40 books. A successful entrepreneur for most of her adult life, she knows exactly what challenges women face in the business world and how best to overcome them. Virginia Fox is an expert in using non-fiction books as your marketing tool for lead generation and scaling. Additionally, she uses shamanic counselling, Rapid Transformational TherapyⓇ and Coaching to support your personal growth. She lives with her husband,  daughter, Australian Cattle Dog, four horses and two moody cats on a farm near Zurich.

In this episode of Way Out Of Trauma, host of podcast Barb Smith Varclova, Trauma Therapist with specialisation at CPTSD, discussed with Victoria not just how writing can help on the recovery journey but how important it is to find who we are and dare to try to live our purpose. 

You can contact Victoria on mail@virginiafox.com or https://coaching.virginiafox.com

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Episode Transcript

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(00:09):
Welcome everybody to a new episode ofPodcast Way Out of Childhood Drama.
And I am Barb Smith Varclova.And today is with me,
the great guest Virginia Fox,
which is empowerment andsuccess coach from Switzerland,
but also it's very wellknown bestselling author of

(00:30):
over 40 books. So welcome Virginia.
Hello Barb. Nice to be here. Thank you.
So Virginia,
tell me how I know aboutyou that you working
with horses, you're writingthe books and you're a coach.
How is this all going togetheror where it all started?

(00:54):
It started with the horses whenI saw the first time horse,
if you believe what my mother says. And
I've always been very interestedin personal growth and I was
also always convinced thatI can achieve anything
if I set my mind to,

(01:15):
and that wasn't onlytrue for myself but for
everyone around me.
And since I had a very diverse
career with, as you already mentioned,
diverse professions, always self-employed,

(01:38):
I can see that is very true for myself,
but I can also see that others don'tbelieve that to be true for them.
So if I meet people often they tellme why you write books or you train
horses, I could never do thator I wouldn't dare to do that,
and things like that. Andthat actually made me want to

(02:00):
help people to overcometheir limitations that they
set for themselves in the mind.
And that's actually kindof how I found about
RTT and went on to becomean RTT practitioner and
RTC coach.

(02:21):
Okay.
We also speaking on our podcastabout how our childhoods
and possible trauma in our childhood,
how you was bringing up howit's affecting our adult.
Do you see the connection andwhen you work in your work about
what people created in their beliefsas children to how it's affecting them

(02:44):
as adults?
Yes, I can see that very clearly.
I think it's like we are defining
our brain or our impressions ofthe world is building our operating
system as children.
And depending on what we experience at
this time, it is

(03:07):
very formative for the rest of our life.
And sometimes we are notaware that we had built these
impressions or thisperception of the world,
but it's still influences up until today.
And if I take myself as an example,
it's pretty clear thatI found peace with the

(03:32):
horses and I kind of got reallytunnel vision where I only
wanted to be with themand learn about them and
put that together with being anavid reader. It's not that far away.
I worked with horses, I write books and
I just had this real

(03:54):
inner drive to go a step further.
And I'm sure if I haven'tactually looked too
deeply,
but I'm sure you could also findthe reason why anger is such a
powerful motivator for me to,
the best thing you can tell me isyou can't do that. And I'm like,

(04:17):
well watch me.
I actually realised that Idid read one of your books.
Oh, really?
Didn't know that it's you.Yeah. Came out in Star.
I had a period of my time when Ireally liked the romantic books and
overcoming.
So how you feel that books helping

(04:40):
people in
shaping the understanding of life.
Do you think that it's good to read the
Roman's book or what are youtrying to say through them?
Yes, I think reading isone of the greatest thing

(05:02):
anyone can do and not onlynonfiction but also fiction books
because they teach us empathy andthey teach us to have a bigger
outlook, a wider outlookon how life could be.
It also gives us a reprieve from our life.
And I don't mean reprieve in thesense that our lives are bad,

(05:26):
but everybody needs a break sometimes.
And if I can achieve that,
this break for the readeris a time that leaves
him hopeful and looking forward and
trusting a bit more that theythemselves can do it as well.
And that's what I kind of transportwith the use or by the use

(05:50):
of my female protagonistwho usually are at some
crossroads in their lives and they have to
overcome some innerstruggles or also some outer
resistance and then they find their way.
And since all of my bookscome with a happily Ever After

(06:11):
hierarchy, they do leavethe people hopeful. And yes,
one could say my booksdisplay a bit of utopia
because the community sense is,
I'm very big on that in my booksalso. Every book is a standalone,
but

(06:31):
you will meet people you havealready met in the book before.
So this is something as well.
It gives us the idea that wecan reach out for help if it's
needed and that help will be provided and
all those things together

(06:53):
leave you relaxed hopefully and hopeful.
And you also want to come back.
That's good for me as a writer of course.
Yeah. I find it very useful to, yeah,
for me it's for form of relaxation.But exactly as you said,
the hope that that vision,

(07:13):
what we would like to have as communityof families or what relationship could
be and because it's given thesense that it's possible, is it,
and then we can find itsomewhere or reach out for that.
So I think that forpeople who recovering from
unhealthy relationshipsor struggling in the life,

(07:35):
it's hope is really important.
But you really working with peoplewho working on their overcoming
limitation beliefs around their dreams.
So what is that what you'redoing with people mostly?
Who are those who reach you? Who shouldcall you and say like, oh Virginia,
I would like your help.

(07:56):
Especially professionalwomen who want to use their
expertise not for othersbut in their own business,
but might be scared to take that step.
Or also as I also work with entrepreneurs,
female entrepreneursmostly that want to either

(08:17):
scale or pivot but are notsure if they're good enough.
Because even if we aresuccessful in the eyes of others,
it still can be quite shaky
inside ourselves.
And that's where I come in tolend you a hand and then a year

(08:40):
to actually show you thatyou are all that you need to
be or need to have to go that next step.
It's kind of leading theminto the expansion or
just being there as a partner in this
expedition.

(09:01):
I don't like the leading wordtoo much because it's not me
that does anything.
I'm just asking questionsthat make you as my client
realise that you are already atthe point where you need to be.
That's great. So

(09:22):
how is to combined with thehorses and working with horses,
do you think that there areany similarities about when we are working with the
horses and working with the people what?
Well, the similarities areactually that you have to,
if you work with horses, you haveto be very clear and very grounded.

(09:42):
You have to regulateyour nervous system and
have a good awareness ofhow your nervous system
reacts in certain situations.
And the same is true for the horsesand what they're doing because they're
so sensitive. They reflectthat very well back to us.

(10:03):
Also, maybe if you buy a horse,
he has also survived some
trauma or something like that,
then you have to take that intoan account until a certain point,
meaning you have to be empathicwhile working with him,
but you also have to takehim as he is now him divorce.

(10:31):
And I think for, in my opinion,
that's an importantthing to remember. Yes,
every one of us has certainparts of trauma in our
lives, but we are alsomore than our trauma.
We can, we are who we are now.

(10:51):
We can of course work on the past from us,
but it's important torealise that we are enough.
We are as we are right now.
And that's also important when you workwith horses because otherwise I had a
teacher once and he waslike, are, what is this word?

(11:16):
Are you
Kind of resentful or unforgivingor still thinking about that,
what he did two years agobecause he's not the same now

(11:37):
as he was two years ago. And
that's something I often miss abit in today's online talk about.
I mean you find trauma talk everywhere
sometimes it seems to me we are so
focused on the past thatwe forget to focus on the

(11:59):
and future.
I would like to bridge that in my work.
That's great because I personallybelieve that that's it's actually goal of
recovery of trauma to live in thepresent moment and take the past.
Its past, it did happen.Nobody's saying that they didn't,

(12:20):
but now is that important momentwe need to live in reacting from
present moments. So that's great that it's
leading people to the recognitionof that who they are now
is that a lot of peoplenot really see themselves.
Exactly.

(12:41):
So when you're working withpeople, how it look like?
Do you have some programme orhow it's going on when somebody
will want to work with you?
Usually we meet first.
I tend to do more coaching than hypnosis,

(13:02):
meaning that we first talkmore about the goals and vision
and where we want to go.
And usually during that workwe will stumble upon maybe
on a block or someresistance in the resistance
where we decide to

(13:23):
work on that by integrating the hypnosis.
And it's a very fluid process. I in,
I have a group programme.It's still a very small group,
but it's kind of a year longprogramme with a community that is

(13:44):
building and you will have access tothe community for many years to come,
but you're paying after the year. And
I think the community aspect of thatis really great because you don't have
only myself, I mean ofcourse I'm cool to talk to,

(14:08):
but other opinions are availableand also other experiences.
You can also work one-on-one with me.
I have a client who is a singerright now and a writer as well.
That's really fascinating. And ofcourse with my writing background,
I also help people writingbooks to scale their business.

(14:32):
Did you find it useful touse the writing as the way of
recovery or part on thejourney? Like write your story?
Would you recommend itfor people to do that?
That's a very interestingquestion and I think
it can be very helpful to do that,

(14:53):
especially in the sense oflooking through a different
lens or maybe get moredistance to what was happening,
but also to recognise howmany gifts or talents we
actually have. Because usuallyin the things we are good at,
we tend to not to noticethat much because for

(15:18):
us it's normal. Of course I can do that,
of course I can write a bookbecause that's what I do.
But it's actually really outstanding.
And by writing about it,
people tend to realisethat it's actually a really
big thing and not just normal,I mean it's normal as about,

(15:42):
but it is extraordinary. And so yes,
I do think it can help a normal,
even though I have to say Ipersonally don't use it that way.
Tips for what people cando. It's always useful.

(16:03):
So what would be thing, which you would,
I don't know, give the tip tothe people if they feel that
they are in the crossroad,
they feel that they cannotfulfil their dreams or they not
sure that they can, whatdo you think that would be?

(16:27):
Things to do? One tip, how to start.
I think one tip,
how to start is to takesome paper and a pen
and sit down and set atimer for five minutes.
And in those five minutesyou will write down any

(16:48):
idea what you think you could find fun to
do or you would like to do.
In the case of my work,it's usually somehow work,
but it also could be somethingpersonal, it doesn't matter.
But you have just this small windowof five minutes to pour it all

(17:11):
out on the page and then you look at it.
What this does is it keepsyou from second guessing and
rating your wants and wishesbecause the window of time is so
small.
And I would really love for people to

(17:32):
just pour all that outbecause we tend to not
allow us even to think about thethings we actually really want to do.
So don't limit yourself,
just put it out all on the page andafterwards when you go through the things,
there will be things you willcross out because they're

(17:56):
actually not viable. But others,
if you think I shouldn't or I couldn't
take a moment to reflect,
who is it that says youshouldn't or you couldn't?
Is it actually true

(18:17):
Or is it you telling yourselfthat because of the influence of
society, parents, former teachers,
whatever.
That's what I wouldlove for everyone to do.
Oh, that's great advice. And

(18:38):
I would absolutely agree with that,
that we need to recognisewhat is the voice in our head?
Is it what is our voice and whatis somebody else limiting us?
And people who wentthrough any form of trauma,
they often have these beliefslimiting that they didn't have it
available when they were small.There wasn't that support,

(19:00):
but it doesn't mean thatthey cannot do it now, is it?
It's just like open your springs,
your wings and start pouringout who you really are finding.
So that's amazing. And if somebodywould want to contact you,
somebody would feel like, yeah, Iwould like to work with Virginia.

(19:20):
She seems cool and can help me to restart
or navigate in my life. Howis the best to contact you?
The best way would be eitherover Facebook, Virginia,
Fox is my handle, I think Virginia.

(19:40):
Yeah, Fox and or mail.
Email.
At mail@virginiafox.com or coaching dot
Virginia fox.com is my website.
Okay, so good.
I will put it to the informationepisode so people who would be

(20:00):
interested can find it there.
But I think that what you'redoing with people, it's amazing.
I think that everybody should read yourbooks because they're also amazing and
very relaxing. Thank you.
And I think I would wantto ask you what would be
last

(20:22):
message you would want to givepeople to message of the Hope?
As we always saying in our podcast.
The really cool thing aboutthe brain is that if you allow
yourself to think newthings or think into new
directions, you don't haveto act on it right away.

(20:44):
Just let your mind wanderand it'll open up so many
possibilities because yourmind starts to develop
this new direction and it'llopen up so many avenues,
even if it's just a possibilityyou wouldn't have regarded
before. And give it a try.

(21:10):
Give it a try. Yeah, that'scorrect. Message. Give it a try.
Just open opened to thenew ideas and new options.
Well thank you very much Virginiafor coming on our podcast,
the Out Childhood Trauma,and I wish you great time.
Thank you, Barb. It was so nicefor you of you to have me. Bye.

(21:33):
Bye.
Okay, so let's ask, how did you find it.
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