May 1, 2023 • 34 mins
In our new episode Lela (Danijele Mrdak) shares her journey of recovery from childhood trauma and what helped her to stop living in trauma response. Story of hope for everybody who is recognising that their lives are affected by adverse childhood experiences and looking for a way out of trauma.
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(00:09):
Bye.
Hello everybody.
Welcome to our 6th episode of
podcast Way Out of Childhood Trauma.
I am Barb Smith Varclova from Your Steps
Counseling for those who doesn't know me.
And with me here it's again,
(00:29):
Lala Madag from Mind Freedom Therapy. Welcome.
And today you want to share a story
of Lala and her journey of recovery when
you actually recognize that you suffer from trauma.
(00:54):
Well, this is very interesting Barb, because it took me
a while to realize that I have experienced trauma.
And I did that with the help of a friend eventually.
But my journey was very interesting because since childhood
(01:15):
I always felt this deeper sense of emotions, not
only my own, but the emotions of surrounding people.
So I was always absorbing
other people's sadness, pain, suffering.
And I could never make sense of it because
I was always asking myself what is the purpose
(01:38):
of pain and why am I here?
And since childhood I have
experienced traumas and tragedies.
And I started asking myself this very
important question what is my purpose?
And throughout my life I realized that suffering for
(02:04):
all humankind has been something that affects me.
Suffering of other children or elderly people
or in my own family, my surroundings.
So I was really confused because I
felt like an emotional sponge, because I
(02:26):
was absorbing emotions, energy, feelings.
And I couldn't move on with my life
and forget about someone else's story or sadness.
I would always try to think of a way how to make
someone feel better, how to help them, how to save them.
(02:49):
So I had this feeling of being the urge to
please and being a people pleaser, not only to keep
peace, but to find meaning, to find purpose.
And the pain of others hurts me
(03:10):
the same way as it hurts them.
So I think I felt very intuitive about life
and intuitive about other people's intentions or energies.
I could feel if someone was mean or
gentle, even as a very young out.
(03:34):
So I always told myself whenever I had experienced loss
or pain or trauma that this is not going to
break me and I'm going to survive this.
And I wasn't aware that there
were deeper levels of pain.
(03:56):
That was the architect of my expectations
and of my behaviors, of my illnesses,
because I've developed autoimmune illnesses.
So I think that I always felt need to explore,
(04:18):
to find out why I feel this way, why I
feel so different from others, because I'm obviously overly sensitive
compared to my family members and I feel different.
So I started reading books and exploring about.
But eventually other people have told me that I
(04:41):
probably have signs of trauma because I was an
extremely hyper vigilant person, I could trust anyone then.
I was feeling scared of making
creating connections with other people.
I was scared of other people's intentions.
(05:05):
I was always questioning their
intentions, do they mean well?
And I was always feeling so many fears and doubts.
And I used my intuition to guide me.
(05:27):
And I have told myself that this has to be
something to awake me, not any pain, any trauma.
I was thinking, what is the purpose?
I have to find out.
And I had to use the help of my family and talk
(05:55):
therapies because I was trying to define how to move on and
how to create one piece from broken pieces of my soul.
What was that kind of tipping point
for you when it start turning around?
(06:17):
What was that you realized that start to
being from going down to going up and
start recovering and putting pieces together?
Was there some moment in your life which you would
see that it was kind of turnpoint for you?
Yes, there were many moments, Barb there were
(06:39):
moments when I felt this is the darkest
moment of my life, the most painful one.
And I felt like, where and how can I
find the light, the meaning and the purpose to
move on, the reason to move on?
And I always felt that I just have to
(07:03):
have hope and believe that the sun will come
after rain because it always was like that.
And I realized that I have so much potential
to help myself with self help books and different
(07:29):
advice, different tutorials, and I had the ability to
understand other people's feelings and to help them.
So every time when I felt like I
had no purpose, there would come somebody else,
a friend or a family member that would
(07:52):
tell me even more traumatic story about themselves.
And I thought, oh my God, I'm blessed because
this person is suffering more than I am.
So I was able to pick up the pieces
and move on and to believe that maybe one
(08:16):
day I will discover what is my purpose.
I don't have to know it today or in one
year, but one day I will see what that is.
Intuitively.
I knew it.
I knew that I should do
some healing work, therapy work.
Because as an introvert, I feel good when I
(08:41):
work one on one therapy sessions, when I don't
have a lot of pressure about time, and when
I can focus on someone else's emotions.
Because I create a picture in my mind about
how it felt and what this person went through.
(09:01):
So it's like painting on the white canvas.
You're painting a picture of the trauma of
a client and also painting a way out.
It's something amazing.
And I feel that this is something that
(09:24):
is my purpose, was my purpose always.
It was part of my journey, part of my identity.
But anyone who experienced trauma and thinks that
they're okay, they don't need help, no one
should help them because they're so strong.
Sometimes encounter triggers.
(09:47):
And whenever something triggers you, maybe that could
be a very negative comment from some person.
Or maybe it can be even a sound or a smell.
And you feel triggered.
You feel scared.
You're expecting, anticipating.
That something very bad is going to happen, then this
(10:10):
definitely means that you need healing, that you do have
a lot of trauma in your life, that you maybe
have complex PTSD or PTSD, because triggers always indicate that
we didn't do the healing work.
And this was my case as well.
(10:31):
When I was younger, when I was smaller,
I used to think, well, if I could
survive that, I can survive anything.
I don't need anyone to help me.
I will rely on myself.
But because we're just ignoring the layers of pain, the
(10:54):
layers of brokenness, and we're not even aware that from
the subconscious level, this is creating a map of expectations,
a map of behaviors, a map of our reality.
And we think everything is out of our control.
Our life is not the way we're expected to
(11:18):
be, the way we want it to be.
Even if we try hard to change our circumstances at work, at
home and nothing seems to be as we want it to be.
This is because our subconscious mind
directs our life from that brokenness.
Because after trauma, our brain starts to
(11:42):
work differently and rewires itself differently.
Because in the moments of trauma, we just need
to be in the surviving and our brain disattaches
from emotions and helps us to survive.
But after this happens, our life changes.
(12:04):
Nothing is the same to all of us.
Yes.
Barb, what would be the difference between what did
you find out that when you left in the
survival mode from your childhood and then when you
actually start recovered, when you start feeling that exchanging,
(12:25):
how will you compare that?
What ended, which symptoms ended, and what new came?
How you would describe the difference between well,
I could say that before I started healing
(12:49):
my trauma, I always felt a lot of
pain on all levels, emotional, mental pain, physical
pain, because of the illnesses in the body.
It's the somatic response of our body
(13:10):
to our psyche, to our mental pain.
And I could never run away from that pain.
I didn't know how can I disattach
from that pain once for all?
But with RTD therapy, I was able to
experience instant healing, instant change, instant help.
(13:37):
Because it gave me the insight of the mindset
of that little person, of little me, how I
used to interpret my trauma, my family.
Life with my parents, how I used to interpret many
negative things that happened in childhood and in therapy.
(14:01):
I was able to change this pattern because we
use many amazing modalities of therapy, and one of
them is the knowledge from neuroscience and neuroplasticity.
And this helps us to create new neural pathways
in our brain by using the transformative words, the
(14:25):
transformative audio recording, and the healing vortex that is
really, really so powerful because it gives you the
power you've never experienced before in your life.
Because my mother, my grandmother, nobody from my family
(14:46):
knew how to help me to deal with pain
and trauma and bad memories and bad experience.
They didn't have those tools and they suffered a lot.
So I'm very thankful that in 21st centuries we have
access to amazing therapies and free resources on YouTube.
(15:13):
And I'm thankful that we have access to
RTT therapy, which is really transforming the lives
of everyone who knows about this therapy.
I would ask you quite maybe hard question, Lala,
but how was your grieving process of trauma?
(15:38):
Because a lot of people not speaking about that.
But as the part of the recovery from trauma, we have
to go through that process of bereavement of what could happen
if you will not have it how it was. For you.
Well, the grieving is really hard because it requires that
(16:04):
we cry all the tears that we never cry that
were hidden in some part of our soul and stay
there to live with us every day, every night throughout
years and decades of our lives.
And when you do RTT session, you find all those
(16:28):
layers of hidden pain and you are able to resolve
and eliminate this huge amount of emotions and pain.
But also what?
Is interesting is that with therapy sessions, we are able
(16:51):
to take our power back and we hope that we
can do something positive from now on and to go
into acceptance and to go through five stages of grieving.
(17:13):
And finally to accept the reality and not resist.
Because before therapy, I used to resist a lot.
And the resistance, emotional mental resistance is
only creating even more bigger problems.
(17:34):
Creating more problems because when you resist, where
you don't want to accept the reality, it
becomes even harder and more painful.
And you don't see the end to the suffering.
(17:54):
And sometimes when you feel so much suffering that
you have to do something with this amazing amount
of pain and suffering and people should not ignore
it because it can easily become a physical illness.
(18:17):
Because our body and mind are connected.
They're one.
And if your mind or your heart
is suffering and hiding emotions and pain.
It can easily become a part of your body and
it can go into different organs, immune system or bones.
(18:38):
And it is like your body is trying to
create the physical proof that there is a lot
of mental pain, a lot of emotional pain and
eventually your body gives you the proof.
It is very interesting how with RTT therapy we're
able to help even the physical illnesses with the
(19:01):
help of command cell therapy and we can remove
the mental cause of physical illness, for example with
thyroid or eczema or different health conditions, with reproductive
system or anything because often people don't know that
(19:26):
their physical illness comes from their mind because every
condition has every problem has some kind of purpose
in our life and did your physical condition improved
during your journey? Yes.
It was amazing how quickly I was able to
(19:49):
change my results, because I was struggling for many
years with different therapies and different doctors, and I
didn't have a lot of improvement.
And especially when the doctors tell, you have to
live with this condition for the rest of your
life, and we're just going to give you different
(20:12):
therapies, that's all you can do.
And when they give you this extremely negative prognosis
of your health condition, you lose all the hope
and you feel defeated and you feel that you
have no power to change your life.
(20:33):
But with RTT therapy, I was able to remove
the cause of the illness and release it.
And then I have experienced that my results
were improved after a couple of months.
I think it was four months
before I experienced better results.
(20:54):
And when I asked my doctor, can I hope that
for the rest of the before this year's comes?
This year's ends, I can be off this medication.
My doctor said, oh, you can expect
it in a couple of months.
(21:15):
We don't have to wait for the
end of the year for December.
And I thought, wow, RTT is amazing.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Yeah, that's great.
That's amazing.
It is great.
But I have to say that when we do receive
(21:35):
help for physical illness, we also have to change our
nutrition and how we treat our body and exercising, it
is all included in the well being.
And I realize that I have to invest
in well being, in wellness instead of illness.
And when you change your mindset, you also have to contribute
(21:59):
with other forms of behavior and you have to respect your
body because it is there for you and going to need
your body for the rest of your life.
So you better keep it in a very good condition.
(22:19):
That's great. That's amazing.
Story of Recovery so if you would say one
thing to our listeners like if somebody starting to
recognizing that they suffer from the trauma or maybe
what they should look for to recognize and suffer
from trauma, what do you encourage them to do?
(22:45):
First thing that I would advise anyone is don't be
ashamed to share your story because any therapist that you
work with is not there to judge you.
They will understand you, they will give you support, they
will give you a safe place because it is not
(23:08):
just their job, it is a part of their purpose.
And you shouldn't be feeling this stigma of
the society that something's wrong with you, with
your genetics, with your DNA, with your family.
If you go for therapy sessions and when
you realize this, then you can expect create
(23:34):
an expectation that this is going to change
and transform your life forever for the better.
And when you create this positive expectation,
you will feel so much power.
You will feel the desire, the passion to
do anything your therapist tells you to do.
(23:56):
And you will even have the courage
to face your past, to face the
negative, unpleasant, painful things from your past.
Because you now have the positive, the
passion to transform your life, the desire,
(24:18):
the courage to face anything.
And I would encourage everyone to forget
about shame and just do it.
Ask for help, reach for help.
And this is the best therapy I've ever experienced.
(24:41):
And many clients tell me that
they haven't experienced anything like RTT.
And they have tried so many different
modalities and therapies over the years.
But RTT has given them amazing results in
couple of months or a couple of sessions.
(25:01):
Sometimes even only one session is
enough for certain problems issues.
So I would encourage everyone when you change
your life, when you heal your pain.
You're going to be a better mother.
You're not going to repeat the mistakes of
(25:23):
maybe your mother or father or your grandmother.
You're going to cut that family patterns
and pathology of behavior and you're going
to be better person and create better
future generations, more healthy mentally, emotionally.
(25:45):
And you can inspire other
people, your friends, your family.
When they see that you are changed, they're going
to be inspired to try therapy and to heal.
So you can also be an inspiration.
That's one of the most amazing reasons to
go to therapy there's any age limit on
(26:08):
who can recover from the trauma.
What if people find out when they're in 50s or 40s?
Yeah, that's a good question Barb because sometimes people think it's
too late for change and I can't be helped or they
think I'm so broken that nothing can help me.
(26:32):
But that's not true.
Anyone can be helped and anyone can heal and
find their purpose and we can help anyone in
any age also we can help the children.
We work with children over eight years old, we work
in hypnosis and we can help them, we can help
(26:55):
the teenagers, we can help all age groups because age
is just a number, it's your physical age, the age
of your body, but your soul doesn't have age.
Your soul just has wounds and
unhealed pain and wounds, that's all.
(27:22):
Yeah, absolutely agree with that because I'm working really
with that range from children from ten years old
to the I think that my oldest client was
68 and yeah, it really doesn't matter.
Of course, later people coming to therapy, it sometimes takes
a little more work because it's decades of suppressing of
(27:44):
many reactions in the life and that grieving process can
be longer because more time past what could happen, what
people could have in their lives, but anybody can be
healed, so it's really about not to wait.
And if people feel that they're recognizing
(28:09):
that it's probably trauma, which they suffer
with, which can be anxiety, depression, panic
attacks, insomnia workaholism, the less is long.
All these things which we commonly attributing.
It's just anxiety.
Or we are diagnosed with anxiety.
(28:30):
I have to land or live with that.
Or I have the panic attacks and I can just hold them.
They will stop one day.
Or I cannot sleep, so I will need to take the pills.
Or I have the high blood
pressure, or I am always tired.
Or I'm developing autoimmune disorder
like fibriomiacia or other things.
(28:53):
I would say to people like no, go for therapy, it all
can be changed, you don't have to stay with that is it?
And that's really powerful even from your story that
it can be changed, it can be visible on
the physical level and it's so great, it can
(29:15):
be proved by the results with the doctors that
they can even confirm improvement in that physical condition.
Yes, I would agree with you with everything you've
said Barb, and would just like to add that
(29:36):
sometimes people have very poor boundaries and they don't
understand why do they have to please everyone and
why they put other people's needs first.
And this comes from trauma, also from childhood trauma
and brokenness the need to save everyone because you
(29:58):
were probably in a position to save your mother
from the abusive father or to save somebody in
a very tragic moment, but you couldn't do anything
because you were just a child.
And maybe it comes from some other situation and
people who have the need to overgive, overdo, just
(30:21):
like you said, workaholics overdo, it all show trauma
and they have this need to earn love, to
work for love, to work for connection, to work
to earn the belonging, the place where they belong.
And just like you said, it can be so many
(30:43):
symptoms, nightmares and not being able to sleep or having
some chronic pain or anxiety and even more and more
children are now suffering from bullying and anxiety and they
(31:05):
have social anxiety, they're afraid of going back to school
after the COVID and lockdown.
They only had online schooling.
So parents don't know what to do.
They're in panic, absolute panic and they
also feel anxiety in their lives.
So you can imagine how complicated that can be for some
(31:28):
but if they ignore it, the things will only get worse.
It will not get better if you ignore the problem.
Yeah, that's absolutely true.
I want to thank you for sharing your story of recovery.
It's amazing story of really getting much
(31:51):
better to completely changing your life.
Now you are therapist and helping others to recover
which absolutely think that it's your purpose to do.
And because of that experience you can really relate to
them so that people really would recommend them to go
(32:15):
to you because you can relate to how they feel
that you went through on your story of that so
you know what they're speaking about and how they feel.
So I will thank you very much for sharing
your story and if you listen to us, please
(32:35):
follow like or share so more people can learn
about how to recover from childhood trauma, what can
be said or where they can find the help.
I am Barsis Markova from your sub counseling.
And with me here was La
La Merda from Mind freedom therapy.
(32:58):
If the people will want to work with
you lala where they would find you?
Where will be best to contact you?
Yes, well, they can use Instagram,
they can find me on Mindfreedomtherapy.
They can use Facebook under name Danijela Mrdak.
They can find me and my website
(33:20):
is www.mindfreedomtherapy.com and yeah, these are the
resources to be in contact.
What about you, Barb, where they can find you?
Yeah, I can be fine on the Facebook as
Your Steps Counseling or Barb Smith Varclova, on my website.
(33:43):
your-steps.co.uk
And if you will have any question, leave us comments
on Podbeans or Spotify or YouTube or wherever you listen
to us on Google podcast on I have Radio. Please share.
Please follow for our next episode when we will
(34:03):
share more stories of recovery and more resources about
what steps of recovery people can take to recover
to get way out of childhood trauma.
So thank you very much for
listening and see you next time. Bye.
All bye.
Bye.
Hello everybody.
Welcome to our 6th episode of
podcast Way Out of Childhood Trauma.
I am Barb Smith Varclova from Your Steps
Counseling for those who doesn't know me.
And with me here it's again,
(00:29):
Lala Madag from Mind Freedom Therapy. Welcome.
And today you want to share a story
of Lala and her journey of recovery when
you actually recognize that you suffer from trauma.
(00:54):
Well, this is very interesting Barb, because it took me
a while to realize that I have experienced trauma.
And I did that with the help of a friend eventually.
But my journey was very interesting because since childhood
(01:15):
I always felt this deeper sense of emotions, not
only my own, but the emotions of surrounding people.
So I was always absorbing
other people's sadness, pain, suffering.
And I could never make sense of it because
I was always asking myself what is the purpose
(01:38):
of pain and why am I here?
And since childhood I have
experienced traumas and tragedies.
And I started asking myself this very
important question what is my purpose?
And throughout my life I realized that suffering for
(02:04):
all humankind has been something that affects me.
Suffering of other children or elderly people
or in my own family, my surroundings.
So I was really confused because I
felt like an emotional sponge, because I
(02:26):
was absorbing emotions, energy, feelings.
And I couldn't move on with my life
and forget about someone else's story or sadness.
I would always try to think of a way how to make
someone feel better, how to help them, how to save them.
(02:49):
So I had this feeling of being the urge to
please and being a people pleaser, not only to keep
peace, but to find meaning, to find purpose.
And the pain of others hurts me
(03:10):
the same way as it hurts them.
So I think I felt very intuitive about life
and intuitive about other people's intentions or energies.
I could feel if someone was mean or
gentle, even as a very young out.
(03:34):
So I always told myself whenever I had experienced loss
or pain or trauma that this is not going to
break me and I'm going to survive this.
And I wasn't aware that there
were deeper levels of pain.
(03:56):
That was the architect of my expectations
and of my behaviors, of my illnesses,
because I've developed autoimmune illnesses.
So I think that I always felt need to explore,
(04:18):
to find out why I feel this way, why I
feel so different from others, because I'm obviously overly sensitive
compared to my family members and I feel different.
So I started reading books and exploring about.
But eventually other people have told me that I
(04:41):
probably have signs of trauma because I was an
extremely hyper vigilant person, I could trust anyone then.
I was feeling scared of making
creating connections with other people.
I was scared of other people's intentions.
(05:05):
I was always questioning their
intentions, do they mean well?
And I was always feeling so many fears and doubts.
And I used my intuition to guide me.
(05:27):
And I have told myself that this has to be
something to awake me, not any pain, any trauma.
I was thinking, what is the purpose?
I have to find out.
And I had to use the help of my family and talk
(05:55):
therapies because I was trying to define how to move on and
how to create one piece from broken pieces of my soul.
What was that kind of tipping point
for you when it start turning around?
(06:17):
What was that you realized that start to
being from going down to going up and
start recovering and putting pieces together?
Was there some moment in your life which you would
see that it was kind of turnpoint for you?
Yes, there were many moments, Barb there were
(06:39):
moments when I felt this is the darkest
moment of my life, the most painful one.
And I felt like, where and how can I
find the light, the meaning and the purpose to
move on, the reason to move on?
And I always felt that I just have to
(07:03):
have hope and believe that the sun will come
after rain because it always was like that.
And I realized that I have so much potential
to help myself with self help books and different
(07:29):
advice, different tutorials, and I had the ability to
understand other people's feelings and to help them.
So every time when I felt like I
had no purpose, there would come somebody else,
a friend or a family member that would
(07:52):
tell me even more traumatic story about themselves.
And I thought, oh my God, I'm blessed because
this person is suffering more than I am.
So I was able to pick up the pieces
and move on and to believe that maybe one
(08:16):
day I will discover what is my purpose.
I don't have to know it today or in one
year, but one day I will see what that is.
Intuitively.
I knew it.
I knew that I should do
some healing work, therapy work.
Because as an introvert, I feel good when I
(08:41):
work one on one therapy sessions, when I don't
have a lot of pressure about time, and when
I can focus on someone else's emotions.
Because I create a picture in my mind about
how it felt and what this person went through.
(09:01):
So it's like painting on the white canvas.
You're painting a picture of the trauma of
a client and also painting a way out.
It's something amazing.
And I feel that this is something that
(09:24):
is my purpose, was my purpose always.
It was part of my journey, part of my identity.
But anyone who experienced trauma and thinks that
they're okay, they don't need help, no one
should help them because they're so strong.
Sometimes encounter triggers.
(09:47):
And whenever something triggers you, maybe that could
be a very negative comment from some person.
Or maybe it can be even a sound or a smell.
And you feel triggered.
You feel scared.
You're expecting, anticipating.
That something very bad is going to happen, then this
(10:10):
definitely means that you need healing, that you do have
a lot of trauma in your life, that you maybe
have complex PTSD or PTSD, because triggers always indicate that
we didn't do the healing work.
And this was my case as well.
(10:31):
When I was younger, when I was smaller,
I used to think, well, if I could
survive that, I can survive anything.
I don't need anyone to help me.
I will rely on myself.
But because we're just ignoring the layers of pain, the
(10:54):
layers of brokenness, and we're not even aware that from
the subconscious level, this is creating a map of expectations,
a map of behaviors, a map of our reality.
And we think everything is out of our control.
Our life is not the way we're expected to
(11:18):
be, the way we want it to be.
Even if we try hard to change our circumstances at work, at
home and nothing seems to be as we want it to be.
This is because our subconscious mind
directs our life from that brokenness.
Because after trauma, our brain starts to
(11:42):
work differently and rewires itself differently.
Because in the moments of trauma, we just need
to be in the surviving and our brain disattaches
from emotions and helps us to survive.
But after this happens, our life changes.
(12:04):
Nothing is the same to all of us.
Yes.
Barb, what would be the difference between what did
you find out that when you left in the
survival mode from your childhood and then when you
actually start recovered, when you start feeling that exchanging,
(12:25):
how will you compare that?
What ended, which symptoms ended, and what new came?
How you would describe the difference between well,
I could say that before I started healing
(12:49):
my trauma, I always felt a lot of
pain on all levels, emotional, mental pain, physical
pain, because of the illnesses in the body.
It's the somatic response of our body
(13:10):
to our psyche, to our mental pain.
And I could never run away from that pain.
I didn't know how can I disattach
from that pain once for all?
But with RTD therapy, I was able to
experience instant healing, instant change, instant help.
(13:37):
Because it gave me the insight of the mindset
of that little person, of little me, how I
used to interpret my trauma, my family.
Life with my parents, how I used to interpret many
negative things that happened in childhood and in therapy.
(14:01):
I was able to change this pattern because we
use many amazing modalities of therapy, and one of
them is the knowledge from neuroscience and neuroplasticity.
And this helps us to create new neural pathways
in our brain by using the transformative words, the
(14:25):
transformative audio recording, and the healing vortex that is
really, really so powerful because it gives you the
power you've never experienced before in your life.
Because my mother, my grandmother, nobody from my family
(14:46):
knew how to help me to deal with pain
and trauma and bad memories and bad experience.
They didn't have those tools and they suffered a lot.
So I'm very thankful that in 21st centuries we have
access to amazing therapies and free resources on YouTube.
(15:13):
And I'm thankful that we have access to
RTT therapy, which is really transforming the lives
of everyone who knows about this therapy.
I would ask you quite maybe hard question, Lala,
but how was your grieving process of trauma?
(15:38):
Because a lot of people not speaking about that.
But as the part of the recovery from trauma, we have
to go through that process of bereavement of what could happen
if you will not have it how it was. For you.
Well, the grieving is really hard because it requires that
(16:04):
we cry all the tears that we never cry that
were hidden in some part of our soul and stay
there to live with us every day, every night throughout
years and decades of our lives.
And when you do RTT session, you find all those
(16:28):
layers of hidden pain and you are able to resolve
and eliminate this huge amount of emotions and pain.
But also what?
Is interesting is that with therapy sessions, we are able
(16:51):
to take our power back and we hope that we
can do something positive from now on and to go
into acceptance and to go through five stages of grieving.
(17:13):
And finally to accept the reality and not resist.
Because before therapy, I used to resist a lot.
And the resistance, emotional mental resistance is
only creating even more bigger problems.
(17:34):
Creating more problems because when you resist, where
you don't want to accept the reality, it
becomes even harder and more painful.
And you don't see the end to the suffering.
(17:54):
And sometimes when you feel so much suffering that
you have to do something with this amazing amount
of pain and suffering and people should not ignore
it because it can easily become a physical illness.
(18:17):
Because our body and mind are connected.
They're one.
And if your mind or your heart
is suffering and hiding emotions and pain.
It can easily become a part of your body and
it can go into different organs, immune system or bones.
(18:38):
And it is like your body is trying to
create the physical proof that there is a lot
of mental pain, a lot of emotional pain and
eventually your body gives you the proof.
It is very interesting how with RTT therapy we're
able to help even the physical illnesses with the
(19:01):
help of command cell therapy and we can remove
the mental cause of physical illness, for example with
thyroid or eczema or different health conditions, with reproductive
system or anything because often people don't know that
(19:26):
their physical illness comes from their mind because every
condition has every problem has some kind of purpose
in our life and did your physical condition improved
during your journey? Yes.
It was amazing how quickly I was able to
(19:49):
change my results, because I was struggling for many
years with different therapies and different doctors, and I
didn't have a lot of improvement.
And especially when the doctors tell, you have to
live with this condition for the rest of your
life, and we're just going to give you different
(20:12):
therapies, that's all you can do.
And when they give you this extremely negative prognosis
of your health condition, you lose all the hope
and you feel defeated and you feel that you
have no power to change your life.
(20:33):
But with RTT therapy, I was able to remove
the cause of the illness and release it.
And then I have experienced that my results
were improved after a couple of months.
I think it was four months
before I experienced better results.
(20:54):
And when I asked my doctor, can I hope that
for the rest of the before this year's comes?
This year's ends, I can be off this medication.
My doctor said, oh, you can expect
it in a couple of months.
(21:15):
We don't have to wait for the
end of the year for December.
And I thought, wow, RTT is amazing.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Yeah, that's great.
That's amazing.
It is great.
But I have to say that when we do receive
(21:35):
help for physical illness, we also have to change our
nutrition and how we treat our body and exercising, it
is all included in the well being.
And I realize that I have to invest
in well being, in wellness instead of illness.
And when you change your mindset, you also have to contribute
(21:59):
with other forms of behavior and you have to respect your
body because it is there for you and going to need
your body for the rest of your life.
So you better keep it in a very good condition.
(22:19):
That's great. That's amazing.
Story of Recovery so if you would say one
thing to our listeners like if somebody starting to
recognizing that they suffer from the trauma or maybe
what they should look for to recognize and suffer
from trauma, what do you encourage them to do?
(22:45):
First thing that I would advise anyone is don't be
ashamed to share your story because any therapist that you
work with is not there to judge you.
They will understand you, they will give you support, they
will give you a safe place because it is not
(23:08):
just their job, it is a part of their purpose.
And you shouldn't be feeling this stigma of
the society that something's wrong with you, with
your genetics, with your DNA, with your family.
If you go for therapy sessions and when
you realize this, then you can expect create
(23:34):
an expectation that this is going to change
and transform your life forever for the better.
And when you create this positive expectation,
you will feel so much power.
You will feel the desire, the passion to
do anything your therapist tells you to do.
(23:56):
And you will even have the courage
to face your past, to face the
negative, unpleasant, painful things from your past.
Because you now have the positive, the
passion to transform your life, the desire,
(24:18):
the courage to face anything.
And I would encourage everyone to forget
about shame and just do it.
Ask for help, reach for help.
And this is the best therapy I've ever experienced.
(24:41):
And many clients tell me that
they haven't experienced anything like RTT.
And they have tried so many different
modalities and therapies over the years.
But RTT has given them amazing results in
couple of months or a couple of sessions.
(25:01):
Sometimes even only one session is
enough for certain problems issues.
So I would encourage everyone when you change
your life, when you heal your pain.
You're going to be a better mother.
You're not going to repeat the mistakes of
(25:23):
maybe your mother or father or your grandmother.
You're going to cut that family patterns
and pathology of behavior and you're going
to be better person and create better
future generations, more healthy mentally, emotionally.
(25:45):
And you can inspire other
people, your friends, your family.
When they see that you are changed, they're going
to be inspired to try therapy and to heal.
So you can also be an inspiration.
That's one of the most amazing reasons to
go to therapy there's any age limit on
(26:08):
who can recover from the trauma.
What if people find out when they're in 50s or 40s?
Yeah, that's a good question Barb because sometimes people think it's
too late for change and I can't be helped or they
think I'm so broken that nothing can help me.
(26:32):
But that's not true.
Anyone can be helped and anyone can heal and
find their purpose and we can help anyone in
any age also we can help the children.
We work with children over eight years old, we work
in hypnosis and we can help them, we can help
(26:55):
the teenagers, we can help all age groups because age
is just a number, it's your physical age, the age
of your body, but your soul doesn't have age.
Your soul just has wounds and
unhealed pain and wounds, that's all.
(27:22):
Yeah, absolutely agree with that because I'm working really
with that range from children from ten years old
to the I think that my oldest client was
68 and yeah, it really doesn't matter.
Of course, later people coming to therapy, it sometimes takes
a little more work because it's decades of suppressing of
(27:44):
many reactions in the life and that grieving process can
be longer because more time past what could happen, what
people could have in their lives, but anybody can be
healed, so it's really about not to wait.
And if people feel that they're recognizing
(28:09):
that it's probably trauma, which they suffer
with, which can be anxiety, depression, panic
attacks, insomnia workaholism, the less is long.
All these things which we commonly attributing.
It's just anxiety.
Or we are diagnosed with anxiety.
(28:30):
I have to land or live with that.
Or I have the panic attacks and I can just hold them.
They will stop one day.
Or I cannot sleep, so I will need to take the pills.
Or I have the high blood
pressure, or I am always tired.
Or I'm developing autoimmune disorder
like fibriomiacia or other things.
(28:53):
I would say to people like no, go for therapy, it all
can be changed, you don't have to stay with that is it?
And that's really powerful even from your story that
it can be changed, it can be visible on
the physical level and it's so great, it can
(29:15):
be proved by the results with the doctors that
they can even confirm improvement in that physical condition.
Yes, I would agree with you with everything you've
said Barb, and would just like to add that
(29:36):
sometimes people have very poor boundaries and they don't
understand why do they have to please everyone and
why they put other people's needs first.
And this comes from trauma, also from childhood trauma
and brokenness the need to save everyone because you
(29:58):
were probably in a position to save your mother
from the abusive father or to save somebody in
a very tragic moment, but you couldn't do anything
because you were just a child.
And maybe it comes from some other situation and
people who have the need to overgive, overdo, just
(30:21):
like you said, workaholics overdo, it all show trauma
and they have this need to earn love, to
work for love, to work for connection, to work
to earn the belonging, the place where they belong.
And just like you said, it can be so many
(30:43):
symptoms, nightmares and not being able to sleep or having
some chronic pain or anxiety and even more and more
children are now suffering from bullying and anxiety and they
(31:05):
have social anxiety, they're afraid of going back to school
after the COVID and lockdown.
They only had online schooling.
So parents don't know what to do.
They're in panic, absolute panic and they
also feel anxiety in their lives.
So you can imagine how complicated that can be for some
(31:28):
but if they ignore it, the things will only get worse.
It will not get better if you ignore the problem.
Yeah, that's absolutely true.
I want to thank you for sharing your story of recovery.
It's amazing story of really getting much
(31:51):
better to completely changing your life.
Now you are therapist and helping others to recover
which absolutely think that it's your purpose to do.
And because of that experience you can really relate to
them so that people really would recommend them to go
(32:15):
to you because you can relate to how they feel
that you went through on your story of that so
you know what they're speaking about and how they feel.
So I will thank you very much for sharing
your story and if you listen to us, please
(32:35):
follow like or share so more people can learn
about how to recover from childhood trauma, what can
be said or where they can find the help.
I am Barsis Markova from your sub counseling.
And with me here was La
La Merda from Mind freedom therapy.
(32:58):
If the people will want to work with
you lala where they would find you?
Where will be best to contact you?
Yes, well, they can use Instagram,
they can find me on Mindfreedomtherapy.
They can use Facebook under name Danijela Mrdak.
They can find me and my website
(33:20):
is www.mindfreedomtherapy.com and yeah, these are the
resources to be in contact.
What about you, Barb, where they can find you?
Yeah, I can be fine on the Facebook as
Your Steps Counseling or Barb Smith Varclova, on my website.
(33:43):
your-steps.co.uk
And if you will have any question, leave us comments
on Podbeans or Spotify or YouTube or wherever you listen
to us on Google podcast on I have Radio. Please share.
Please follow for our next episode when we will
(34:03):
share more stories of recovery and more resources about
what steps of recovery people can take to recover
to get way out of childhood trauma.
So thank you very much for
listening and see you next time. Bye.
All bye.
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