Vol XXI: Control - Why We Seek it..And How To Let Go

Originally inspired by Mel Robbins ‘Let Them Theory’ in this episode of What Matters Most, Antonia and Jacqui dive into the psychology of control; why we crave it, where it comes from, and how it can impact our lives and relationships. 

Together, they unpack the evolutionary roots of our need to control, the difference between agency and unhealthy control, and why sometimes letting go feels so hard. Jacqui shares insights from psychological research on the brain’s response to uncertainty and how control can be both a survival mechanism and a way to mask deeper fears. They also discuss the impact on those who feel controlled and how to break cycles of control with practical, evidence-based strategies.

Whether you’re someone who thrives on structure or finds yourself caught in a cycle of micromanaging, this episode offers a nuanced look at why control can feel both comforting and confining. Antonia brings her usual candor and curiosity, while Jacqui offers thoughtful, research-backed insights into how we can start loosening our grip…without losing ourselves in the process.

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