Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
And the troops that have been to war and now they're.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Back and think and be grateful for their service.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all that they.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Do for us.
Speaker 5 (00:34):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
We forget that those people exist.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Dogs, and so much more. We call them fathers.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters, sisters and wives. We
call them.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
Friend and neighbor.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
These veterans answered the call, now we answer theirs. They
are the best our country has to offer, and we
love them. Today, we honor them and we serve them.
David Malsby is your host, and he welcomes you to
(01:31):
this community of veterans, as together we are building the
road to hope.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Indeed, we are glad to have you along of you
listening on the nine to five oh on the AM
dialer here in Houston, Texas. Thank you for joining us.
Drive endlessly around sixty ten. Those of you listening through
the magic of podcast thank you so very much for
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(02:00):
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(02:24):
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and make it sound stupid, but we can sound stupid
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(02:47):
out there. Big thank you to our show sponsors allow
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(03:50):
your values. Again, Republic Grandranch dot Com longtime supporters of
everything at Camp Hope and we are truly grateful to
have them as show sponsors. All right, we got got
a couple of combat bets in the show with us,
so returning one of our staff. You want to reintroduce
yourself to the world, Kevin?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, how's it going, everybody?
Speaker 6 (04:10):
I currently work at Camp Hope as a pure support
mentor originally from Dallas and my army veteran with multiple
combat deployments to I racking.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
If you are you a Cowboys fan of almost I'm not.
Speaker 6 (04:23):
It's oddly enough, I'm actually a Detroit Lions fan.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
That's weird, but that is weird.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Yeah, I grew up as a I liked Barry Sanders
when I was a kid. Sure, and for some reason,
I just became a Detroit Lions fan. And believe me,
I've tried not to be a Detroit Lions fan. That's
been a rough.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
They made it difficult for a long time.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
They're turning away.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, last season, this season looking pretty good for him.
See what happens this weekend. But yeah, very nice. Also
on the show with us, one of the guys that's
in our program right now, don't you want to introduce
yourself to the world.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Yes, I'm Tony Wilson, United States Navy and I'm a
from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Which is the best part about you. And there's a
lot of good things about Tony, but that's the very
best part. Yes, Yeah, Okay, when were you in the Navy.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
I was in the Navy from nineteen eighty five to
two thousand and five.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yikes, that's a wow.
Speaker 5 (05:15):
That's a while.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yes, sir decided it was fun.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
It was fun, all of it, all of it. I
do it again.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Oh man, okay, So raised in Oklahoma City. Uh, why'd
you join the Navy?
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Why did I join the Navy? Well? One, I wanted
to see the world, and of course, you know all
the commercials clip says A the military and you see
the world. So that's what I decided to do.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Join the Navy. So inside of a ship coach. So yeah, yeah,
hard pass on that. I'm not clusterphobic, but I could
get real close to it if I had to sit
on a ship like that for that long. Like no,
Kevin's like nope, yeah, yeah, that's too much. That's just
(06:03):
you know, you know, a day or so. Yeah, yeah,
it's okay. How long What was the longest time you
were on a boat in a ship something?
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Oh, after sea? The longest time was about one hundred
and twenty days, almost right at one hundred and twenty What.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Were you on?
Speaker 5 (06:19):
I was on an LHA then. Okay, so that's a
landing helot assault craft.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
All right. What were you doing?
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Well, my job was I was a BOSA mate. I
did in physics assaults, so we did deployments and landments
of we took the Marines in and special forces into
do they missions and that was my primary job.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Okay, And your first deployment was.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
When in nineteen eighty six, where were you? Where was
I actually went to the Mediterranean and the North Atlantic.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Then, okay, what was your favorite place you visited?
Speaker 5 (06:59):
Favorite? Absolutely favorite? I will say Italy.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
I enjoyed Italy a lot.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
What stood out about that Italy?
Speaker 5 (07:07):
I was met some really good locals there, and they
actually welcomed me every time I deployed over there, to
open their doors to me every time I came there.
So I would always put in chits to be able
to stay overnight with them because it was like family
to me.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Gotcha? All right? Okay, Well, we've had a few guys
that have spent some time in Italy and they all
loved it. I think that's been a unanimous thing from
the guys who spend a little time there. All right,
we're going to take a break here in just a moment.
Just a reminder Combat Trauma Crisis Line eight seven seven
seven to one, seven seventy eight seventy three. The most
(07:44):
important thing you can know about that is it is
answered twenty four to seven by a combat vet, someone
who's been there, done that, and also had all the
training of the suicide prevention training, all those kinds of things.
Seven one, seven, seventy eight, seventy three a combat that
will answer the phone. We're gonna take a quick break
(08:04):
and be right back with more of Road to Hope.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Rido, and we welcome you back Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Glad to have you along, all right. Haven't you ever
spend time in Italy?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Not Italy, I've been to Germany.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yeah, yeah, I've never heard a complain about that either.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I enjoyed it.
Speaker 6 (09:08):
I was there for about a year and a half
before my first appointment, and I tried to stay, but
they wouldn't.
Speaker 7 (09:16):
You or what?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Well? I was there and I went to Iraq.
Speaker 6 (09:19):
I ended up coming down orders while I was in
Iraq to go to Fort man and Georgia. When I
got back, I was like, well, what can I stay
in Germany for a.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Little bit longer?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
And they're like, no, we're already on orders.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
So mm hmm, let's see Fort Benning, Germany.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
It's kind of a pretty easy choice.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Had a choice, Yeah, let me choose goodness, all right?
So to Oklahoma. So you you if you joined in
eighty five, was that right out of high school or
was there a little in between.
Speaker 5 (09:53):
It was a little between, so back two years.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Okay, So then you graduated. I had graduated in eighty three,
so you wouldn't know this from Oklahoma history at the time.
And I don't know even when they built it because
I'd moved out. But at the time, it was the
only state capital in the nation that was domeless. They
(10:17):
didn't have a dome on them. They've built a dome
since then, but at the time, I don't know why
that always stuck out to me, but it always took out.
It was also, I believe, the last to have an
active oil well on capital grounds. And I don't know
if they're still active or not, but they're still there.
They're still there. I don't know if they're company anything
or not there. Yeah, sure, Yeah, that's about all I
(10:38):
remember about the oklahom mystery. I wasn't a real big
history both. Now I think I know a couple of things,
but yeah, anyway, all right, So off to your first
deployment in eighty six, and you were in for twenty years, right,
twenty years? All right? Combat obvious was a part of
(10:59):
that at some point in time. Where was that taking
place for you?
Speaker 5 (11:03):
The combat, all of it took place in actually various
places because of the twenty years ten years, So yeah,
it was a little bit all over the place most
of it. The course desert storm does a shield when
the majority of it started taking place, enduring freedom and
things of that nature.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
And and you said both Iraq and Askinson, right, yes,
sir both what years were you deployed?
Speaker 6 (11:28):
I see Irako five oh six, eight oh nine, and
then Afghan Sea in ten eleven and then twelve thirteen.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
You're another one of those multi hard punch guys. I
want the frequent traveler miles. Give me those. Uh okay,
So from your time on the ships, Oh, who had
the best food?
Speaker 5 (11:56):
Oh my goodness, Well the chiefs, of course had the
best foot.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Where do we go? Yeah, well I understand that, yeah,
uh huh yeah, I just yeah, I'm always just curious
about the food and how was it on different ships?
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Well, different ships, of course, the larger the ships because
we have more room to store food, So the largest
ships had the best foods. But when I was on
frigates and fast frigates, things of that nature. We tend't
have pretty decent food, but the largest ships has the best.
All right, when did you get to Camp Hope? When
(12:34):
did I get to Camp Hope last year? In October?
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Okay, so let's see, let's do the math. You got
out in the five got to camp in October twenty four. Yes,
it's almost another.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Twenty it's almost another twenty.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Yeah. When did you first realize you had some issues
from your time in the military? Oh?
Speaker 5 (12:57):
Man, And they actually started up pretty much right after
the military. But I kind of ignored them because I
wasn't sure what was really going on with myself. But
I just knew I wasn't complete, you know, I wasn't
whole in so I just ignored the symptoms and just
tried to live life the best I could.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Sod, you just get a typical job when you got home.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Or honestly what I started doing. I got into law enforcement?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
Really, yes, Okay, did you go back to Oklahoma? I did?
All right, Well you are my favorite. Absolutely. Yeah. I
know a couple of well they're retired. I know a
couple of city college they're retired. Now. I went to
school with a couple of guys that served in the
Bhom City Police for yep. Uh, they moved on to
jobs that paid a little better.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
That's I know, ye know, uh.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Nice, well, good for them, you know. Uh. By the way,
we in this show were talking on flood about what
goes on around Camp Hope and guys that are in
our program at Camp Pope. Information about that's all available
at our website PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD usa
dot org. But we have other programs as well, including
(14:14):
some support programs for combat veterans, law enforcement first responders.
We do those in a few different cities across the
country in person, but you can be anywhere enjoy in
our virtual version of that through I think we use
(14:34):
I don't know zoom, I think probably zoom or teams
one of the other. But you can join from anywhere
where you've got Al Gore created Internet. So thank you
to al Gore for that. But all that information about
where those are available when they're available all on our
website PTSD USA dot organ. Also they are at no cost,
just like everything else that we do at no costs.
(14:56):
Also support programs for family members and you can be
a fan. I'm a member, you can be a close friend,
Are you just somebody that you care about that's going
through combat related post traumatic trauma? You can join those groups.
There's a lot of just the same thing that we
do in all of our programs. It's peer to peer,
(15:16):
so there will be others in that group that are
experiencing what you're experiencing, some who have gone through it
already and helping lead some of those groups. So we
do a lot to help and assist the family. By
the way, you we probably mentioned this before, but we
just of course came through the holiday season and Christmas
(15:36):
we took care of. It was one hundred and twenty
five children that we supplied Christmas for them, and that
included what you would think of it Christmas for kids,
but also things like shoes and coats for some who
didn't have those items and obviously needed those items for
(15:59):
this kind of what is cold in Houston right now.
It's just born raised in Oklahoma City, right So we
would get a couple of snow or ice storms every
year they get a couple. Typically you'd get a snow
and it would look real nice and a lot of
fun to play in as a kid for one evening.
(16:19):
Then the next morning the sun come out and it
would melt and then it would freeze overnight, and then
you had ice for the next two days. And it
was just this nasty ice everybody was driving on. So
I didn't like that, so I moved to Dallas a
little further south. Well, it wasn't much better. So now
I moved to Houston, and here we are in the world.
I can't move any further south with that buying a
(16:41):
boat and I don't want to live in a boat. Yeah, Like,
what is the what was going on with this cold weather?
I am not a fan at all. Heat and humidity
of Houston's a little uncomfortable. Cold hurts, and the older
I get them more it hurts. But anyway, all that
information for programs for family members PTSDUSA dot org and
(17:03):
a huge thank you to everyone who helped make Christmas
absolutely amazing, not only for those who are in our
program and on our campus at Camp Hope, which that was.
You have to see it to experience and experience it
to really understand it. There's just a lot that goes on,
(17:24):
so many people reaching out trying to make sure our
veterans are taken care of during the Christmas season and
making sure it feels as home as much as possible.
Folks come out and do the Christmas lights all around
all of a campus and you know, just kind of
give it that Christmas Eve look so big. Big thanks
to all those packages and packages and packages boxed shipped
(17:50):
all across the country. It's a major operation. So a
very big thank you to everybody who is a part
of that. We are for ever grateful, but again uh
for information online the Camp Hope, but also through our
support groups and for combat vets, first responders, law enforcement,
family members, friends. All that is available on our website
(18:13):
PTSD USA dot org. Those of you listening on the
kp r C. We're going to take a quick news
break and then we ride back with more of road
to Hooperdal.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
You know I need j'all love.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
You got a hold of metall love and we welcome
(19:14):
you back bro to Hope Radio. Glad to have you along.
Big thank you of course to our awesome friends that
iHeart here in Houston who make this actually the ones
that really make it possible for us to do this,
opening their doors to us and allowing us that this
is we're going on. I think may will be eight
years for the show, which is hard to believe but
(19:39):
could not happen, would not happen without iHeart being so
gracious to us and so helpful. So are everybody who
helps make that possible at iHeart Media, Houston. We are
forever indebted because we've reached a lot of veterans in
their families through the show and through the podcasts who
(19:59):
are very, very grateful for the opportunity. And we'll never
fully be able to say thank you and express our hearts.
But cannot afford to be the best kept secret in
town when we're doing what we're doing trying to help
save lives. The statistic and we don't talk about it
a lot on the show, but the statistics are harrowing
(20:20):
and unfortunately they are not getting better. Actual studies show
that we are losing up to forty four veterans every
single day, and that's a combination basically of suicide, over dosing,
those type of things. Sometimes it's kind of hard to
(20:40):
define intentionality or not, but the termination After looking at
a number of states death records over five year period,
they came up with that number of forty four every
single day. And whether you call it, for instance, an
overdose or whether you call it suicide. I'm not really
(21:01):
in a fighting body over that. It's just they were
all preventable, every one of them. And the only way
we can do that is for people to know that
we are here, that we will answer the phone anytime
of day or night, that we will open our doors,
we will bring you in, we will fly you in
from wherever you are. If that's what we need to
(21:22):
do to get you here. We will take care of
all of that. And while you're with us, we do
our best, take great care of you. How's the food
at camp compared to your ship?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (21:35):
Camp, hope food. We got a great, awesome kitchen team there,
and chef definitely makes it happen in the kitchen, So
we're gracious, So we're grateful to have them.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Let's go back. So it was basically twenty years before
you got to camp, but in the mean between time
when it was becoming more noticeable and less capable of
handling it on your own. What was your first attempt
at trying to address the situation.
Speaker 5 (22:08):
First attempt?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Oh, good lord, alcohol, Okay, typical story.
Speaker 5 (22:13):
Sorry, yeah, that's what we do. When you don't understand
that the first thing you do is go to something
that's familiar and that was familiar. So that's where I
started at with my attempt to try to numb myself
and try to figure out my emotions and my feelings
as I was going along the way.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
So while you were in for those twenty years, was
the whole drinking like a sailor thing kind of? It's like,
can I ask that question?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Well, you know it's gonna sound funny, but my out
of twenty years in a navy I only remember being
a drunken sailor twice.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Okay, yeah, it doesn't sound weird.
Speaker 5 (22:53):
That was not weird. I didn't, you know, being doing
amphibus assaults and I mean everything was pretty much hanging
from either wire off the side of the ship or
a helicopters. So get dropped into places that you're not
familiar with and they give you a map and says, okay,
here you go by. So I had to stay pretty coherent,
So I shied away from alcohol.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Where are we on this map?
Speaker 7 (23:18):
Exactly? You're telling me to go? Where exactly you're here
sort of and overhears where you need to be. Yep, yeah,
it makes perfect.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Okay. So the first thing you do was turned to alcohol.
I did, and that never ends.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
Well, No, it just actually made things a little worse.
It seemed like, yeah, I got things more twisted than
what I felt like they really were. You have family
at the time, Yes, I had family at the time.
It's just kind of hard to explain to people without
them looking at you kind of strangely when you tell
them certain stories or whatever, and you get that look
(23:59):
like he's not drunk, he's crazy, and he just like
sit back and you're like, Okay, I can't talk to
people about what's really going on because nobody understands. So
that's the best thing about Camp Hope is it's appeared
to hear and everybody there, including our mentors and stuff members,
are all combat vets, so they understand they're on the
(24:19):
same page as I am and teaching me the script
as I write my song and my story, the same
thing that they've been through.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Okay, So there had to be some other steps between
you started drinking to you ended up at Camp Hope.
Oh yeah, what what was the next step?
Speaker 5 (24:36):
Well, the next step was drugs.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Okay, So unusual story.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
Unusual story all eventually is not enough. Yeah, and remember
I came from law enforcement as well.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
So yeah, yeah, which is another thing, Kevin. We see
a lot, right does It's the service mentality, right, I mean,
you guys raise your hand and joined you didn't you know,
you didn't have to. Uh So it was a serviceman
and so we see that an awful lot. A guy
comes home our gal and they go into law enforcement
(25:09):
first responders MS. They want to do something to continue
to serve.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, there's a few of them on camp.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Now.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
One thing that's interesting to me is, you know everywhere
is trauma. You might have childhood trauma, you know, and
then you join the military, you get trauma from multiple
traumas and multiple traumas. Then you come back, you join
the law enforcement, and we know there's trauma there as well.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
So this trauma on top of trauma.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Now, were you doing any of that while you were
still on the force.
Speaker 5 (25:40):
No? Actually no, That was probably one of the reasons
why I gave up the forest is because my drinking
while on the forest was getting a little heavier than
what I knew it should have been, and I couldn't
control it. But I'm gonna say because honest I couldn't.
You know, it's beyond what I could understand about myself. Again,
(26:00):
I just didn't know I was complete. I wasn't old.
I was probably at one hundred percent of myself. I
was probably at twenty five percent.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
With the department you were with, they have a mental
health here's whore you go talk to.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Well, you know, it's funny you say that. So I
was with a local sheriff's office in the beginning, and
I was a mental health officer.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Got so I was.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
A batting Yeah, it was really full service. I was
battling what I was telling and trying to get out
of other people when I would have gone to call.
And I was looking to be honest with you at
myself at the same time. And that's what started bringing
more things out. You know, instead of scratching the surface,
I was pulling the sky back of a lot of
wounds that was unforeseen and I didn't known about.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Yeah at the time when you were doing that as
a mental health officer, what how much training were there giving,
if any at all, on dealing with our veterans coming home.
Because I know at least most department, I say most
some departments, I don't know if it's most or not.
(27:11):
At least some departments that we've worked with have worked
really hard at training their officers how to de escalate
the situation.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
So then when I joined to the force, you get
midtal health certified going through the academy. But it's not
a lot dealing with veterans. It's more dealing with just
the local calls. The normal calls that come into any
nine to one dispatch are people calling nine one one,
send this person's here, so veterans. Being a VET myself,
(27:41):
but I honestly, during that timeframe, I ran into zero
veterans at the really time. Yes, so out of all
the calls I would go to, there was not one veteran.
I think I became my first, the first veteran because
I actually called some friends of mine and said, hey,
I need help, you know, and here we are.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Did you go to the VA.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
I went to the VA in Oklahoma City, Yes, sir, I.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Hope they've upgraded that so it was there. Last time
I visited one of my family members in the VA
hospital that would have been mid eighties.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
It was not well, you know, the pretty rough. It
was rough. They upgraded it a lot there and they
actually got a new uh think he's president there or
whatever it is that his title there. But they got
a new one of those and he's doing a lot
for the Oklahoma City VA.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
So awesome.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
It's upgraded a lot. They're doing a lot of facelift
and everything. Okay, so when you went there, what was there?
Did they diagnose you? What did they do? Well? The
first thing he did was, of course, the first thing
coming with PTSD is, like I say, the mental health
part of it. So they wanted to admit me to
the mental health floor. And that was one of the
(28:52):
things that I fought because I was like, okay, mental health.
When you think of it, you think, from what I
was hearing from people, you're crazy. So I was fighting
that part because I was like, I know, I'm not crazy,
so I'm not staying here. So I kind of checked
myself out and took off running.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I've heard that story a few times too, all right,
So we're gonna have to take one more break in
just a moment, and we'll come back and see how
far you're in. Here's the deal, completely different. I just
you know, running is a sin. Some of these guys
running up and down very brigade boulevard, like no I'll
(29:29):
walk it, but I Am not running it. And we
get you know, fun runs or stuff like that. It's
fun rasy. I'll be there. I'll waive it everybody. But
I'm running is a sin. Too many screws in money.
I am not running.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
If I'm running something wrong?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Wrong, Yeah, something's bad wrong. Don't turn around and look
all right. I'm gonna take a quick break and be
back with more Road to Hope. I did Johnny want
the school Boy when he heard his first song there, Hey,
(30:57):
we're welcome back to Road to Hope Radio got Tony
United States Navy veteran Kevin who's on staff at Camp Hope,
combat veteran multiple tours, did the multiple punch I racking Afghanistan?
Just keep going and keep going and keep going. At
some point you realize you didn't have to do that anymore, right, Yeah, Yeah,
(31:20):
it's like there's surely there's something else that can be done. Well,
that's somebody else's turn, you know.
Speaker 6 (31:26):
The thing when you're in for a while, that's kind
of the It's part of the problem with getting out
is you don't know anything else.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah, get out and you're ready to go, you know,
do something, you.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Know It was one of the big problems early on.
The guys that you know, were in high school nine
to eleven happened. They wanted to you know, for whatever,
they wanted to go get some and so they join up.
They go, serve four or five years, come home. I'm like, well,
what am I supposed to do? I guess I'll go
to school. Then they're going to school, and all the
(31:57):
kids that they graduated with have already graduated in school
and gone on starting their jobs. So now they're standing
line at the registrar's office. They're twenty three, twenty four,
and everybody else in line is seventeen and eighteen years old,
and it's just like, I don't belong here anymore. And
that was one of the very early on issues that
we dealt with that was very problematic. What did you
(32:19):
do when you got home?
Speaker 6 (32:22):
I tried to start my own business, landscaping business, which
did okay until you know, self medicating got in the way, right, Yeah,
but I was really lost. I kind of lost my
sense of purpose. You know, I ready didn't know what
to do.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
I just.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
I didn't feel I fell out of place and didn't
really fit in anywhere.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
So that's you know, being the civilian in the room
that that has to be has to be one of
the most difficult things in the world because I just think,
try to picture myself, which is saying insaying, but uh, okay,
So you serve the United States Military, like that's as
(33:05):
about as good as it gets, right, like as purposeful
as it gets. And then you come home and now
what I mean, how do you feel that in your
life and and your purpose and your go forward and
you know, the self medicating and all that. You came
to Camp Hope you graduated. Now you're kind of on
(33:26):
the other side of the table as as a mentor
to these guys. How does that compare to you compared
to your time in the service?
Speaker 6 (33:40):
Man, I feel like, honestly, my time in the service
prepared me to be able to do that. It definitely
gives me another sense of purpose. And then you know,
like you said, coming back not having you know, not
knowing what to do and stuff like that. That's one
of the biggest things I try to help, you know,
the guys that I'm mentor and there is you know,
(34:01):
you got to find that sense of purpose, sense.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Of bl Okay, Tony, I've given you a little time
to think about it. Last you mentioned you ran here.
You're not crazy, so you ran, which is completely normal.
Nothing crazy about that. What happened next? Oh?
Speaker 5 (34:24):
I tried to live life the best I could and
continued living and things just kept spiraling. It was like
a one of those rides that the tilt the world's
where you was just really in the riding and nobody
wanted to hit the brakes with me, So it just
became one of those rides that you just stay on
(34:45):
for forever. You got to figure out a way to
get off of it.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
So what did you do?
Speaker 5 (34:50):
I actually, once I got off of it, I decided
that it was time to really seek some guidance and
some help the correct way. So reached out to a
couple of people. My son got involved and ended up
at Camp Hope.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
How did y'all hear about camp How do.
Speaker 5 (35:12):
We hear about Camp Hope? Through a couple of people
in the justice system, of course, got involved with my issues.
So Camp Hope got there and they asked me about
Camp Hope and said, okay, we're going to screen you
to go and got screened and it just worked out well,
and here I am.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
A Camp hope.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
What was it like when you first got there?
Speaker 5 (35:34):
For you, honestly, my first day was the day that
you know, they say it's a volunteer thing. You can
leave if you want to, the gates is not locked
and everything else. But when I got there, went in
the office, and you know, of course being one of
the places that they are, so when they came in,
and every time somebody would come in, somebody standing at
(35:55):
the door like the palace guard. And I kept looking
at the door and I was like, as soon as
that door opened, on a run and I mean, that's
the truth. You can ask him. I mean, I honestly
kept saying to myself. Soon somebody moved, somebody in my size,
that door opened out of here. And it took a
couple of the staff members there to calm me down
because I was ready to go already. I really was.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
So again not the first.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
They said that the gates wasn't locked, you could go,
and I just, you know, looking at him standing in
front of the door, I was like, man, I'm not
isn't or anything am on? What's going on? The gates open?
So but no, it turned out here him a few
months later, and I feel really good. I feel good
about myself and I'm not twenty five percent anymore.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Tell you that. So what's what have you learned? What
are you learning that's helping you better cope with with
that mental battle of combat trauma? Oh?
Speaker 5 (36:51):
Good lord? So the therapist and of course the mentors
there is amazing. I've never knew that so much was
really wrong with me until I got there again, you know,
telling people your story, but when you can sit down
with another combat vet and they share their story with you,
and I was like, man, I thought I went through,
but you really went through it, and it just helps
(37:13):
you so much better to understand what people are going through.
And I say people, all the combat vets, because it's
it's like a different breed, be honest with you than
the regular world, because what we go through is quite
a bit and not. I mean you could watch it
on TV. You can see, you can hear somebody talk
about it, but unless you experience it, you really don't
(37:35):
know what you've gone a person's gone through.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Yeah, Kevin, how many times would you say that while
you were in the program? You want them to run? Man?
Too many times? The count?
Speaker 6 (37:47):
Well, I wasn't My life, life was never in danger,
so I wasn't going to run, but.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
I did think about walking out a couple of times.
But there's a saying it's true. Yeah, like if.
Speaker 6 (37:58):
If you don't want to leave, you know, seriously leave
the program. A couple of times while you're there, you're
probably not doing it right because you're digging deep, you know, you're, yeah,
uncovering traumas so you can work through them. You're learning
coping mechanisms, things of that nature. So it can make
you want to be like, man, I'm done with this.
It's it's harder than any appointment I've ever been on.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
You know, it's and I've looked at yourself several times. Ah, uncomfortable.
It's hard work. It's not a here, take this pill
and you'll feel better. It's completely opposite that. It's pull it.
Let's pull it out and put all of it on
the table.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, I mean, you know, it's no secret.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
You can go to the VA, this doctor, that doctor,
and they're gonna throw a pill at you. The thing
about PTSD is you have a multitude of symptoms. You
just take medication. It's just gonna alleviate some of it.
But you know, we do the opposite of that obviously,
and you gotta takes getting down to the root of it,
talking about it, you know, working through trauma, counseling at
(39:00):
Camp Hope and coping mechanisms to deal with it instead
of just being medicated and thrown back out to the wolves.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Yeah, Tony, you mentioned your son kind of helped you,
kind of look for the help. Yes, I'm guessing that
your family is at least basically supportive of what you're
doing right now.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
You know, before I got here, they was not supportive
of anything because I had denied everything, and the one
thing that I did not want was to be medicated,
because I had seen some of the other combat vets
of the programs that I've been through and didn't stay
long at those either, because the first thing I remember,
my one roommate in one other program, he was out
(39:39):
and they asked me to pack up some clothes women,
and when I opened his drawers just full of medication,
I was like, that's not going to be me. So
Camp Hope medicated free, and I deal with my trauma
every day the best way I can, and if I
got issues, there's tons of mentors and of course your
therapist is on duty to talk to you about it, you.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Get through it. How much does it cost you?
Speaker 5 (40:02):
It's zero dollars, just my participation.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
Yeah, thank you, all right, thank you for sharing from
your story.
Speaker 5 (40:09):
Time is up.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
This is always the fact. I don't know how this
hour goes so fast, but it goes by so fast.
Thank you guys both. Kevin, thank you for what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Suirre, thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Congratulations and where you've gotten thank you. Thank you. Keep
doing the work. Don't quit. I want finish, finish the task.
For more information again, ptsd USA dot org. The Combat
Truma Crisis Line eight seven seven seven one seven seventy
eight seventy three. Wherever you listen to podcasts, look for
Road to Hope, subscribe, share it. Thanks for joining us.
(40:39):
Look forward to being with you again next week for
more of Road to Hope yet
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
And the troops that have been to war and now they're.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Back and think and be grateful for their service.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all that they.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Do for us.
Speaker 5 (00:34):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
We forget that those people exist.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Dogs, and so much more. We call them fathers.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters, sisters and wives. We
call them.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
Friend and neighbor.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
These veterans answered the call, now we answer theirs. They
are the best our country has to offer, and we
love them. Today, we honor them and we serve them.
David Malsby is your host, and he welcomes you to
(01:31):
this community of veterans, as together we are building the
road to hope.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Indeed, we are glad to have you along of you
listening on the nine to five oh on the AM
dialer here in Houston, Texas. Thank you for joining us.
Drive endlessly around sixty ten. Those of you listening through
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(02:47):
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(03:50):
your values. Again, Republic Grandranch dot Com longtime supporters of
everything at Camp Hope and we are truly grateful to
have them as show sponsors. All right, we got got
a couple of combat bets in the show with us,
so returning one of our staff. You want to reintroduce
yourself to the world, Kevin?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, how's it going, everybody?
Speaker 6 (04:10):
I currently work at Camp Hope as a pure support
mentor originally from Dallas and my army veteran with multiple
combat deployments to I racking.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
If you are you a Cowboys fan of almost I'm not.
Speaker 6 (04:23):
It's oddly enough, I'm actually a Detroit Lions fan.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
That's weird, but that is weird.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Yeah, I grew up as a I liked Barry Sanders
when I was a kid. Sure, and for some reason,
I just became a Detroit Lions fan. And believe me,
I've tried not to be a Detroit Lions fan. That's
been a rough.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
They made it difficult for a long time.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
They're turning away.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Yeah, last season, this season looking pretty good for him.
See what happens this weekend. But yeah, very nice. Also
on the show with us, one of the guys that's
in our program right now, don't you want to introduce
yourself to the world.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Yes, I'm Tony Wilson, United States Navy and I'm a
from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Which is the best part about you. And there's a
lot of good things about Tony, but that's the very
best part. Yes, Yeah, Okay, when were you in the Navy.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
I was in the Navy from nineteen eighty five to
two thousand and five.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yikes, that's a wow.
Speaker 5 (05:15):
That's a while.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yes, sir decided it was fun.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
It was fun, all of it, all of it. I
do it again.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Oh man, okay, So raised in Oklahoma City. Uh, why'd
you join the Navy?
Speaker 5 (05:30):
Why did I join the Navy? Well? One, I wanted
to see the world, and of course, you know all
the commercials clip says A the military and you see
the world. So that's what I decided to do.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Join the Navy. So inside of a ship coach. So yeah, yeah,
hard pass on that. I'm not clusterphobic, but I could
get real close to it if I had to sit
on a ship like that for that long. Like no,
Kevin's like nope, yeah, yeah, that's too much. That's just
(06:03):
you know, you know, a day or so. Yeah, yeah,
it's okay. How long What was the longest time you
were on a boat in a ship something?
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Oh, after sea? The longest time was about one hundred
and twenty days, almost right at one hundred and twenty What.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Were you on?
Speaker 5 (06:19):
I was on an LHA then. Okay, so that's a
landing helot assault craft.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
All right. What were you doing?
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Well, my job was I was a BOSA mate. I
did in physics assaults, so we did deployments and landments
of we took the Marines in and special forces into
do they missions and that was my primary job.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Okay, And your first deployment was.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
When in nineteen eighty six, where were you? Where was
I actually went to the Mediterranean and the North Atlantic.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Then, okay, what was your favorite place you visited?
Speaker 5 (06:59):
Favorite? Absolutely favorite? I will say Italy.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
I enjoyed Italy a lot.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
What stood out about that Italy?
Speaker 5 (07:07):
I was met some really good locals there, and they
actually welcomed me every time I deployed over there, to
open their doors to me every time I came there.
So I would always put in chits to be able
to stay overnight with them because it was like family
to me.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Gotcha? All right? Okay, Well, we've had a few guys
that have spent some time in Italy and they all
loved it. I think that's been a unanimous thing from
the guys who spend a little time there. All right,
we're going to take a break here in just a moment.
Just a reminder Combat Trauma Crisis Line eight seven seven
seven to one, seven seventy eight seventy three. The most
(07:44):
important thing you can know about that is it is
answered twenty four to seven by a combat vet, someone
who's been there, done that, and also had all the
training of the suicide prevention training, all those kinds of things.
Seven one, seven, seventy eight, seventy three a combat that
will answer the phone. We're gonna take a quick break
(08:04):
and be right back with more of Road to Hope.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Rido, and we welcome you back Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Glad to have you along, all right. Haven't you ever
spend time in Italy?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Not Italy, I've been to Germany.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yeah, yeah, I've never heard a complain about that either.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I enjoyed it.
Speaker 6 (09:08):
I was there for about a year and a half
before my first appointment, and I tried to stay, but
they wouldn't.
Speaker 7 (09:16):
You or what?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Well? I was there and I went to Iraq.
Speaker 6 (09:19):
I ended up coming down orders while I was in
Iraq to go to Fort man and Georgia. When I
got back, I was like, well, what can I stay
in Germany for a.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Little bit longer?
Speaker 2 (09:26):
And they're like, no, we're already on orders.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
So mm hmm, let's see Fort Benning, Germany.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
It's kind of a pretty easy choice.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Had a choice, Yeah, let me choose goodness, all right?
So to Oklahoma. So you you if you joined in
eighty five, was that right out of high school or
was there a little in between.
Speaker 5 (09:53):
It was a little between, so back two years.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
Okay, So then you graduated. I had graduated in eighty three,
so you wouldn't know this from Oklahoma history at the time.
And I don't know even when they built it because
I'd moved out. But at the time, it was the
only state capital in the nation that was domeless. They
(10:17):
didn't have a dome on them. They've built a dome
since then, but at the time, I don't know why
that always stuck out to me, but it always took out.
It was also, I believe, the last to have an
active oil well on capital grounds. And I don't know
if they're still active or not, but they're still there.
They're still there. I don't know if they're company anything
or not there. Yeah, sure, Yeah, that's about all I
(10:38):
remember about the oklahom mystery. I wasn't a real big
history both. Now I think I know a couple of things,
but yeah, anyway, all right, So off to your first
deployment in eighty six, and you were in for twenty years, right,
twenty years? All right? Combat obvious was a part of
(10:59):
that at some point in time. Where was that taking
place for you?
Speaker 5 (11:03):
The combat, all of it took place in actually various
places because of the twenty years ten years, So yeah,
it was a little bit all over the place most
of it. The course desert storm does a shield when
the majority of it started taking place, enduring freedom and
things of that nature.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
And and you said both Iraq and Askinson, right, yes,
sir both what years were you deployed?
Speaker 6 (11:28):
I see Irako five oh six, eight oh nine, and
then Afghan Sea in ten eleven and then twelve thirteen.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
You're another one of those multi hard punch guys. I
want the frequent traveler miles. Give me those. Uh okay,
So from your time on the ships, Oh, who had
the best food?
Speaker 5 (11:56):
Oh my goodness, Well the chiefs, of course had the
best foot.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Where do we go? Yeah, well I understand that, yeah,
uh huh yeah, I just yeah, I'm always just curious
about the food and how was it on different ships?
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Well, different ships, of course, the larger the ships because
we have more room to store food, So the largest
ships had the best foods. But when I was on
frigates and fast frigates, things of that nature. We tend't
have pretty decent food, but the largest ships has the best.
All right, when did you get to Camp Hope? When
(12:34):
did I get to Camp Hope last year? In October?
Speaker 3 (12:37):
Okay, so let's see, let's do the math. You got
out in the five got to camp in October twenty four. Yes,
it's almost another.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Twenty it's almost another twenty.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Yeah. When did you first realize you had some issues
from your time in the military? Oh?
Speaker 5 (12:57):
Man, And they actually started up pretty much right after
the military. But I kind of ignored them because I
wasn't sure what was really going on with myself. But
I just knew I wasn't complete, you know, I wasn't
whole in so I just ignored the symptoms and just
tried to live life the best I could.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Sod, you just get a typical job when you got home.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Or honestly what I started doing. I got into law enforcement?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
Really, yes, Okay, did you go back to Oklahoma? I did?
All right, Well you are my favorite. Absolutely. Yeah. I
know a couple of well they're retired. I know a
couple of city college they're retired. Now. I went to
school with a couple of guys that served in the
Bhom City Police for yep. Uh, they moved on to
jobs that paid a little better.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
That's I know, ye know, uh.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Nice, well, good for them, you know. Uh. By the way,
we in this show were talking on flood about what
goes on around Camp Hope and guys that are in
our program at Camp Pope. Information about that's all available
at our website PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD usa
dot org. But we have other programs as well, including
(14:14):
some support programs for combat veterans, law enforcement first responders.
We do those in a few different cities across the
country in person, but you can be anywhere enjoy in
our virtual version of that through I think we use
(14:34):
I don't know zoom, I think probably zoom or teams
one of the other. But you can join from anywhere
where you've got Al Gore created Internet. So thank you
to al Gore for that. But all that information about
where those are available when they're available all on our
website PTSD USA dot organ. Also they are at no cost,
just like everything else that we do at no costs.
(14:56):
Also support programs for family members and you can be
a fan. I'm a member, you can be a close friend,
Are you just somebody that you care about that's going
through combat related post traumatic trauma? You can join those groups.
There's a lot of just the same thing that we
do in all of our programs. It's peer to peer,
(15:16):
so there will be others in that group that are
experiencing what you're experiencing, some who have gone through it
already and helping lead some of those groups. So we
do a lot to help and assist the family. By
the way, you we probably mentioned this before, but we
just of course came through the holiday season and Christmas
(15:36):
we took care of. It was one hundred and twenty
five children that we supplied Christmas for them, and that
included what you would think of it Christmas for kids,
but also things like shoes and coats for some who
didn't have those items and obviously needed those items for
(15:59):
this kind of what is cold in Houston right now.
It's just born raised in Oklahoma City, right So we
would get a couple of snow or ice storms every
year they get a couple. Typically you'd get a snow
and it would look real nice and a lot of
fun to play in as a kid for one evening.
(16:19):
Then the next morning the sun come out and it
would melt and then it would freeze overnight, and then
you had ice for the next two days. And it
was just this nasty ice everybody was driving on. So
I didn't like that, so I moved to Dallas a
little further south. Well, it wasn't much better. So now
I moved to Houston, and here we are in the world.
I can't move any further south with that buying a
(16:41):
boat and I don't want to live in a boat. Yeah, Like,
what is the what was going on with this cold weather?
I am not a fan at all. Heat and humidity
of Houston's a little uncomfortable. Cold hurts, and the older
I get them more it hurts. But anyway, all that
information for programs for family members PTSDUSA dot org and
(17:03):
a huge thank you to everyone who helped make Christmas
absolutely amazing, not only for those who are in our
program and on our campus at Camp Hope, which that was.
You have to see it to experience and experience it
to really understand it. There's just a lot that goes on,
(17:24):
so many people reaching out trying to make sure our
veterans are taken care of during the Christmas season and
making sure it feels as home as much as possible.
Folks come out and do the Christmas lights all around
all of a campus and you know, just kind of
give it that Christmas Eve look so big. Big thanks
to all those packages and packages and packages boxed shipped
(17:50):
all across the country. It's a major operation. So a
very big thank you to everybody who is a part
of that. We are for ever grateful, but again uh
for information online the Camp Hope, but also through our
support groups and for combat vets, first responders, law enforcement,
family members, friends. All that is available on our website
(18:13):
PTSD USA dot org. Those of you listening on the
kp r C. We're going to take a quick news
break and then we ride back with more of road
to Hooperdal.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
You know I need j'all love.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
You got a hold of metall love and we welcome
(19:14):
you back bro to Hope Radio. Glad to have you along.
Big thank you of course to our awesome friends that
iHeart here in Houston who make this actually the ones
that really make it possible for us to do this,
opening their doors to us and allowing us that this
is we're going on. I think may will be eight
years for the show, which is hard to believe but
(19:39):
could not happen, would not happen without iHeart being so
gracious to us and so helpful. So are everybody who
helps make that possible at iHeart Media, Houston. We are
forever indebted because we've reached a lot of veterans in
their families through the show and through the podcasts who
(19:59):
are very, very grateful for the opportunity. And we'll never
fully be able to say thank you and express our hearts.
But cannot afford to be the best kept secret in
town when we're doing what we're doing trying to help
save lives. The statistic and we don't talk about it
a lot on the show, but the statistics are harrowing
(20:20):
and unfortunately they are not getting better. Actual studies show
that we are losing up to forty four veterans every
single day, and that's a combination basically of suicide, over dosing,
those type of things. Sometimes it's kind of hard to
(20:40):
define intentionality or not, but the termination After looking at
a number of states death records over five year period,
they came up with that number of forty four every
single day. And whether you call it, for instance, an
overdose or whether you call it suicide. I'm not really
(21:01):
in a fighting body over that. It's just they were
all preventable, every one of them. And the only way
we can do that is for people to know that
we are here, that we will answer the phone anytime
of day or night, that we will open our doors,
we will bring you in, we will fly you in
from wherever you are. If that's what we need to
(21:22):
do to get you here. We will take care of
all of that. And while you're with us, we do
our best, take great care of you. How's the food
at camp compared to your ship?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (21:35):
Camp, hope food. We got a great, awesome kitchen team there,
and chef definitely makes it happen in the kitchen, So
we're gracious, So we're grateful to have them.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Let's go back. So it was basically twenty years before
you got to camp, but in the mean between time
when it was becoming more noticeable and less capable of
handling it on your own. What was your first attempt
at trying to address the situation.
Speaker 5 (22:08):
First attempt?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Oh, good lord, alcohol, Okay, typical story.
Speaker 5 (22:13):
Sorry, yeah, that's what we do. When you don't understand
that the first thing you do is go to something
that's familiar and that was familiar. So that's where I
started at with my attempt to try to numb myself
and try to figure out my emotions and my feelings
as I was going along the way.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
So while you were in for those twenty years, was
the whole drinking like a sailor thing kind of? It's like,
can I ask that question?
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Well, you know it's gonna sound funny, but my out
of twenty years in a navy I only remember being
a drunken sailor twice.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Okay, yeah, it doesn't sound weird.
Speaker 5 (22:53):
That was not weird. I didn't, you know, being doing
amphibus assaults and I mean everything was pretty much hanging
from either wire off the side of the ship or
a helicopters. So get dropped into places that you're not
familiar with and they give you a map and says, okay,
here you go by. So I had to stay pretty coherent,
So I shied away from alcohol.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Where are we on this map?
Speaker 7 (23:18):
Exactly? You're telling me to go? Where exactly you're here
sort of and overhears where you need to be. Yep, yeah,
it makes perfect.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Okay. So the first thing you do was turned to alcohol.
I did, and that never ends.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
Well, No, it just actually made things a little worse.
It seemed like, yeah, I got things more twisted than
what I felt like they really were. You have family
at the time, Yes, I had family at the time.
It's just kind of hard to explain to people without
them looking at you kind of strangely when you tell
them certain stories or whatever, and you get that look
(23:59):
like he's not drunk, he's crazy, and he just like
sit back and you're like, Okay, I can't talk to
people about what's really going on because nobody understands. So
that's the best thing about Camp Hope is it's appeared
to hear and everybody there, including our mentors and stuff members,
are all combat vets, so they understand they're on the
(24:19):
same page as I am and teaching me the script
as I write my song and my story, the same
thing that they've been through.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Okay, So there had to be some other steps between
you started drinking to you ended up at Camp Hope.
Oh yeah, what what was the next step?
Speaker 5 (24:36):
Well, the next step was drugs.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Okay, So unusual story.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
Unusual story all eventually is not enough. Yeah, and remember
I came from law enforcement as well.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
So yeah, yeah, which is another thing, Kevin. We see
a lot, right does It's the service mentality, right, I mean,
you guys raise your hand and joined you didn't you know,
you didn't have to. Uh So it was a serviceman
and so we see that an awful lot. A guy
comes home our gal and they go into law enforcement
(25:09):
first responders MS. They want to do something to continue
to serve.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah, there's a few of them on camp.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Now.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
One thing that's interesting to me is, you know everywhere
is trauma. You might have childhood trauma, you know, and
then you join the military, you get trauma from multiple
traumas and multiple traumas. Then you come back, you join
the law enforcement, and we know there's trauma there as well.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
So this trauma on top of trauma.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Now, were you doing any of that while you were
still on the force.
Speaker 5 (25:40):
No? Actually no, That was probably one of the reasons
why I gave up the forest is because my drinking
while on the forest was getting a little heavier than
what I knew it should have been, and I couldn't
control it. But I'm gonna say because honest I couldn't.
You know, it's beyond what I could understand about myself. Again,
(26:00):
I just didn't know I was complete. I wasn't old.
I was probably at one hundred percent of myself. I
was probably at twenty five percent.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
With the department you were with, they have a mental
health here's whore you go talk to.
Speaker 5 (26:15):
Well, you know, it's funny you say that. So I
was with a local sheriff's office in the beginning, and
I was a mental health officer.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Got so I was.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
A batting Yeah, it was really full service. I was
battling what I was telling and trying to get out
of other people when I would have gone to call.
And I was looking to be honest with you at
myself at the same time. And that's what started bringing
more things out. You know, instead of scratching the surface,
I was pulling the sky back of a lot of
wounds that was unforeseen and I didn't known about.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Yeah at the time when you were doing that as
a mental health officer, what how much training were there giving,
if any at all, on dealing with our veterans coming home.
Because I know at least most department, I say most
some departments, I don't know if it's most or not.
(27:11):
At least some departments that we've worked with have worked
really hard at training their officers how to de escalate
the situation.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
So then when I joined to the force, you get
midtal health certified going through the academy. But it's not
a lot dealing with veterans. It's more dealing with just
the local calls. The normal calls that come into any
nine to one dispatch are people calling nine one one,
send this person's here, so veterans. Being a VET myself,
(27:41):
but I honestly, during that timeframe, I ran into zero
veterans at the really time. Yes, so out of all
the calls I would go to, there was not one veteran.
I think I became my first, the first veteran because
I actually called some friends of mine and said, hey,
I need help, you know, and here we are.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Did you go to the VA.
Speaker 5 (28:01):
I went to the VA in Oklahoma City, Yes, sir, I.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Hope they've upgraded that so it was there. Last time
I visited one of my family members in the VA
hospital that would have been mid eighties.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
It was not well, you know, the pretty rough. It
was rough. They upgraded it a lot there and they
actually got a new uh think he's president there or
whatever it is that his title there. But they got
a new one of those and he's doing a lot
for the Oklahoma City VA.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
So awesome.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
It's upgraded a lot. They're doing a lot of facelift
and everything. Okay, so when you went there, what was there?
Did they diagnose you? What did they do? Well? The
first thing he did was, of course, the first thing
coming with PTSD is, like I say, the mental health
part of it. So they wanted to admit me to
the mental health floor. And that was one of the
(28:52):
things that I fought because I was like, okay, mental health.
When you think of it, you think, from what I
was hearing from people, you're crazy. So I was fighting
that part because I was like, I know, I'm not crazy,
so I'm not staying here. So I kind of checked
myself out and took off running.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I've heard that story a few times too, all right,
So we're gonna have to take one more break in
just a moment, and we'll come back and see how
far you're in. Here's the deal, completely different. I just
you know, running is a sin. Some of these guys
running up and down very brigade boulevard, like no I'll
(29:29):
walk it, but I Am not running it. And we
get you know, fun runs or stuff like that. It's
fun rasy. I'll be there. I'll waive it everybody. But
I'm running is a sin. Too many screws in money.
I am not running.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
If I'm running something wrong?
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Wrong, Yeah, something's bad wrong. Don't turn around and look
all right. I'm gonna take a quick break and be
back with more Road to Hope. I did Johnny want
the school Boy when he heard his first song there, Hey,
(30:57):
we're welcome back to Road to Hope Radio got Tony
United States Navy veteran Kevin who's on staff at Camp Hope,
combat veteran multiple tours, did the multiple punch I racking Afghanistan?
Just keep going and keep going and keep going. At
some point you realize you didn't have to do that anymore, right, Yeah, Yeah,
(31:20):
it's like there's surely there's something else that can be done. Well,
that's somebody else's turn, you know.
Speaker 6 (31:26):
The thing when you're in for a while, that's kind
of the It's part of the problem with getting out
is you don't know anything else.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah, get out and you're ready to go, you know,
do something, you.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Know It was one of the big problems early on.
The guys that you know, were in high school nine
to eleven happened. They wanted to you know, for whatever,
they wanted to go get some and so they join up.
They go, serve four or five years, come home. I'm like, well,
what am I supposed to do? I guess I'll go
to school. Then they're going to school, and all the
(31:57):
kids that they graduated with have already graduated in school
and gone on starting their jobs. So now they're standing
line at the registrar's office. They're twenty three, twenty four,
and everybody else in line is seventeen and eighteen years old,
and it's just like, I don't belong here anymore. And
that was one of the very early on issues that
we dealt with that was very problematic. What did you
(32:19):
do when you got home?
Speaker 6 (32:22):
I tried to start my own business, landscaping business, which
did okay until you know, self medicating got in the way, right, Yeah,
but I was really lost. I kind of lost my
sense of purpose. You know, I ready didn't know what
to do.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
I just.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
I didn't feel I fell out of place and didn't
really fit in anywhere.
Speaker 3 (32:45):
So that's you know, being the civilian in the room
that that has to be has to be one of
the most difficult things in the world because I just think,
try to picture myself, which is saying insaying, but uh, okay,
So you serve the United States Military, like that's as
(33:05):
about as good as it gets, right, like as purposeful
as it gets. And then you come home and now
what I mean, how do you feel that in your
life and and your purpose and your go forward and
you know, the self medicating and all that. You came
to Camp Hope you graduated. Now you're kind of on
(33:26):
the other side of the table as as a mentor
to these guys. How does that compare to you compared
to your time in the service?
Speaker 6 (33:40):
Man, I feel like, honestly, my time in the service
prepared me to be able to do that. It definitely
gives me another sense of purpose. And then you know,
like you said, coming back not having you know, not
knowing what to do and stuff like that. That's one
of the biggest things I try to help, you know,
the guys that I'm mentor and there is you know,
(34:01):
you got to find that sense of purpose, sense.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
Of bl Okay, Tony, I've given you a little time
to think about it. Last you mentioned you ran here.
You're not crazy, so you ran, which is completely normal.
Nothing crazy about that. What happened next? Oh?
Speaker 5 (34:24):
I tried to live life the best I could and
continued living and things just kept spiraling. It was like
a one of those rides that the tilt the world's
where you was just really in the riding and nobody
wanted to hit the brakes with me, So it just
became one of those rides that you just stay on
(34:45):
for forever. You got to figure out a way to
get off of it.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
So what did you do?
Speaker 5 (34:50):
I actually, once I got off of it, I decided
that it was time to really seek some guidance and
some help the correct way. So reached out to a
couple of people. My son got involved and ended up
at Camp Hope.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
How did y'all hear about camp How do.
Speaker 5 (35:12):
We hear about Camp Hope? Through a couple of people
in the justice system, of course, got involved with my issues.
So Camp Hope got there and they asked me about
Camp Hope and said, okay, we're going to screen you
to go and got screened and it just worked out well,
and here I am.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
A Camp hope.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
What was it like when you first got there?
Speaker 5 (35:34):
For you, honestly, my first day was the day that
you know, they say it's a volunteer thing. You can
leave if you want to, the gates is not locked
and everything else. But when I got there, went in
the office, and you know, of course being one of
the places that they are, so when they came in,
and every time somebody would come in, somebody standing at
(35:55):
the door like the palace guard. And I kept looking
at the door and I was like, as soon as
that door opened, on a run and I mean, that's
the truth. You can ask him. I mean, I honestly
kept saying to myself. Soon somebody moved, somebody in my size,
that door opened out of here. And it took a
couple of the staff members there to calm me down
because I was ready to go already. I really was.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
So again not the first.
Speaker 5 (36:19):
They said that the gates wasn't locked, you could go,
and I just, you know, looking at him standing in
front of the door, I was like, man, I'm not
isn't or anything am on? What's going on? The gates open?
So but no, it turned out here him a few
months later, and I feel really good. I feel good
about myself and I'm not twenty five percent anymore.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Tell you that. So what's what have you learned? What
are you learning that's helping you better cope with with
that mental battle of combat trauma? Oh?
Speaker 5 (36:51):
Good lord? So the therapist and of course the mentors
there is amazing. I've never knew that so much was
really wrong with me until I got there again, you know,
telling people your story, but when you can sit down
with another combat vet and they share their story with you,
and I was like, man, I thought I went through,
but you really went through it, and it just helps
(37:13):
you so much better to understand what people are going through.
And I say people, all the combat vets, because it's
it's like a different breed, be honest with you than
the regular world, because what we go through is quite
a bit and not. I mean you could watch it
on TV. You can see, you can hear somebody talk
about it, but unless you experience it, you really don't
(37:35):
know what you've gone a person's gone through.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Yeah, Kevin, how many times would you say that while
you were in the program? You want them to run? Man?
Too many times? The count?
Speaker 6 (37:47):
Well, I wasn't My life, life was never in danger,
so I wasn't going to run, but.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
I did think about walking out a couple of times.
But there's a saying it's true. Yeah, like if.
Speaker 6 (37:58):
If you don't want to leave, you know, seriously leave
the program. A couple of times while you're there, you're
probably not doing it right because you're digging deep, you know, you're, yeah,
uncovering traumas so you can work through them. You're learning
coping mechanisms, things of that nature. So it can make
you want to be like, man, I'm done with this.
It's it's harder than any appointment I've ever been on.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
You know, it's and I've looked at yourself several times. Ah, uncomfortable.
It's hard work. It's not a here, take this pill
and you'll feel better. It's completely opposite that. It's pull it.
Let's pull it out and put all of it on
the table.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, I mean, you know, it's no secret.
Speaker 6 (38:39):
You can go to the VA, this doctor, that doctor,
and they're gonna throw a pill at you. The thing
about PTSD is you have a multitude of symptoms. You
just take medication. It's just gonna alleviate some of it.
But you know, we do the opposite of that obviously,
and you gotta takes getting down to the root of it,
talking about it, you know, working through trauma, counseling at
(39:00):
Camp Hope and coping mechanisms to deal with it instead
of just being medicated and thrown back out to the wolves.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Yeah, Tony, you mentioned your son kind of helped you,
kind of look for the help. Yes, I'm guessing that
your family is at least basically supportive of what you're
doing right now.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
You know, before I got here, they was not supportive
of anything because I had denied everything, and the one
thing that I did not want was to be medicated,
because I had seen some of the other combat vets
of the programs that I've been through and didn't stay
long at those either, because the first thing I remember,
my one roommate in one other program, he was out
(39:39):
and they asked me to pack up some clothes women,
and when I opened his drawers just full of medication,
I was like, that's not going to be me. So
Camp Hope medicated free, and I deal with my trauma
every day the best way I can, and if I
got issues, there's tons of mentors and of course your
therapist is on duty to talk to you about it, you.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Get through it. How much does it cost you?
Speaker 5 (40:02):
It's zero dollars, just my participation.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
Yeah, thank you, all right, thank you for sharing from
your story.
Speaker 5 (40:09):
Time is up.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
This is always the fact. I don't know how this
hour goes so fast, but it goes by so fast.
Thank you guys both. Kevin, thank you for what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
Suirre, thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Congratulations and where you've gotten thank you. Thank you. Keep
doing the work. Don't quit. I want finish, finish the task.
For more information again, ptsd USA dot org. The Combat
Truma Crisis Line eight seven seven seven one seven seventy
eight seventy three. Wherever you listen to podcasts, look for
Road to Hope, subscribe, share it. Thanks for joining us.
(40:39):
Look forward to being with you again next week for
more of Road to Hope yet
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