Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans
and the troops that.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Have been to war and now they're back and think
and be grateful for their service.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all that they.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Do for us.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We forget that those people exist.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Devil dogs, and so much more.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters,
sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These
veterans answered the call, now we answer theirs. They are
the best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today,
(01:05):
we honor them and we serve them. David Malsby is
your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans,
as together we are building the road to hope.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
And indeed we are glad to have you along. On
a Sunday afternoon, those of you listening through the kPr
C the nine to five oh on the AM dial
here in Houston, Texas. Thank you for joining us, and
those of you who are listening through the Magic Podcast,
thank you so much for doing so. I hope you
hit the subscribe button and share it liberally. Share it
with your friends, neighbors, ex friends, ex neighbors, local authorities,
(01:46):
local bill collectors that are after you, whoever it may be,
everybody you weren't across with could use a little bit
of hope. Wherever you listen to podcast, just look for
Road to Hope Radio and there we are. Got about
a little over eight years of programs. There so lots
and lots of store worries to inspire hope. And again,
everyone you meet could use a little bit of that.
(02:06):
Big thank you to our show sponsors allows opportunity to
spend little time with you each and every week. Our
great friends Billy and Connie Stagner at a Quarry Diamond
and Design that's acri down friends with when it's time
to get that something special for someone special, you want
to do business with people you trust and people that
share your values. These folks love our veterans, They love
(02:28):
PTSD Foundation of American Camp Hope two A one four
eight two forty seven fifty five two eight one four
eight two forty seven fifty five. And because well we
all have those moments. Oopssteam dot com. We keep them
on speed dollar around our place oopsteam dot com. If
you want to call them, you can chick can two
(02:49):
eight one eight two two zero five six one. You
don't want just anybody coming into your house to do
the cleaning. Oopsteam dot com. And when you're ready to
buy that piece of Texas for that dream home, you
want to make sure you put it in the right spot.
Check out Republic Grand Ranch dot com. You're going to
love it. Just a little outside the northern partion of Houston, Texas.
(03:13):
Beautiful place, great community, a lot of law enforcement veterans,
et cetera who are buying out there and building out there.
It's a beautiful spot. Republic Grand Ranch dot com. All right,
we've got we have a full house here today and
all Marines Army. We did that last week. Last week
(03:35):
was all Marines to date, it's all Army. Glad to
have you guys too. You've never been here before, which
still shocks me. I'm surprised to let you in with
the cap you're wearing their kip. There's nothing to say.
So sometimes silence is the better, better choice. You know
where you're at, right, absolutely? Okay, Yeah, So just Anthony's
(03:57):
one of our lead mentors. I have him introduced himself,
but clearly he has some things he still needs to learn. Anthony,
you want to introduce yourself, well, I want.
Speaker 6 (04:06):
To stay in that category of things to learn. And
you've asked us all at the beginning to show what
branch we're in. So I'm wondering where your cognitive awareness is.
You're saying with all marines.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I was trying to trying to help you guys out,
just didn't work.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
Anthony Murou, lead mentor at Camp Hope, originally from southwestern Pennsylvania,
served in the US Army with two deployments to Afghanistan.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
All right, keep your turn cap Bond's pressures on.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Yes, yes, it's a little pressure, but I can't.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
I can.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I can handle it.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
From Kansas City, Missouri.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Missouri, I say that show Yes, sir, you got to
show me.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Okay, fresh n I.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
T I'll show you a better cap to wear.
Speaker 7 (04:49):
That ain't gonna happen. Sorry, I'm sorry, this is just
not gonna happen. I'm always wear this cap is always
gonna say Kansas City on it. Unless I wear something
from my late pops that's that'll be a pay had
it now. I'll do that for him. But other than that,
it's gonna be Kansas City baby.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
All right? And where Wayne, did you deploy again?
Speaker 7 (05:07):
I deployed to Iraq eight and nine with the first
Armored Division out of Germany.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Okay, and then we have an Army VET that's currently
in our program at Campope. We'll talk a little bit
about that as we hear these guys story. Ryan, want
to terad yourself a.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Right, Pastor, Ryan Schaffner. I'm from Houston, Texas. Hey, thanks,
born and raised to the show. Joined the Army four
got out in nineteen. I have two deployments, one to Iraq.
My first appointment was Iraq and that was from two
thousand and six to two thousand and seven. That was
when they came out with the fifteen month deployments. I
(05:45):
was eight months into it and it's like starting halfway
all over again. And I have My second employment was
with two on nine out of Germany to Afghanistan and
that was twenty twelve to twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Okay. When did you join the army.
Speaker 8 (06:05):
In two thousand and four.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Four, yes, sir, what were you doing before that?
Speaker 8 (06:10):
Before that? I was in high school?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Okay, so he went straight out of high school.
Speaker 8 (06:13):
Straight out of high school.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
I was, Uh it was my sophomore year when uhame
in high school.
Speaker 8 (06:20):
Claim to fame. I was the chaplain of the FFA.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Really, yes, sir, I didn't even know they had a
chaplain for the f f Absolutely I was the chaplain.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Did you do anything or just oh, I had a title.
Speaker 8 (06:32):
I prayed us in and held the title.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Okay, didn't strain your back then?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Doesn't absolutely not, you know, clean up the stalls anything
like that. I definitely had to clean up stalls, you know.
As a matter of fact, on the way over here,
we were talking about that because Kit bought a house
that's right by the agbarns for Katie is SD and
I told him. I was like, yeah, man, I remember
when they first built that and there was only four
because Katie only had four high schools.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Now they've just opened their tenth high school in Katie
I s d U. I graduated from Taylor High School
in two thousand and four and went in the army.
But yes, freshman year, I had a Lamb. My mother
named it Bert Lambcaster. I told her, so, I don't names,
because you know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Did you eat it?
Speaker 7 (07:19):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Some someone lucky.
Speaker 8 (07:21):
People got to eat it again. They paid it. They
paid one thousand dollars to Lamb.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
That's awesome. So all right, we're gonna be running to
a break here in just a second. But real quick,
let me give you our number, our crisis trauma line
eight seven seven seven one, seven seventy eight seventy three.
A combat that's going to answer the phone eight seven
seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. We'll be
right back.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
In the corn.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I saw you in.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
So you fellas from outside of Houston. You heard him
talk about the the growth of the Katie is SD.
See here in Houston, we build things, we grow, we
we get bigger. Unlike how many people live in Pennsylvania
now a couple hundred fifty.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Once again, they can't need an evaluation. But I like
that you call us failers, trailers, hey, tailors.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Trying to home.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
For those that are new to this, UH, this podcast
and radio station pastor is definitely feeling it today, So
I highly enjoy the uh the banter here this morning.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Remember it's morning somewhere but not here. Just letting you
know hey real quick. I love to share these stories
when some of our guys who went through our program
previously just randomly write messages and share them either or
(09:11):
on social media or sindirect messages to me. This is
from Joe mclinney. Did you know Joe? I can't remember
when he came through.
Speaker 6 (09:22):
I'd have to look at the tracker.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
I mean, I know it all becomes a blurred about
who was here when. But anyway, he wrote, I would
love to thank PTSD Foundation of America for changing my
life and connecting me with God on a more personal level.
He got a selfie there with his house in the background.
It looks like it looks like he's in a rural
(09:44):
place that looks very peaceful and a big smile on
his face. How about that.
Speaker 8 (09:48):
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, which you were talking a minute ago before the show.
You and I were both surprised Kip having been around
as long as he's been around. When did you first
get to Camp.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Hope out there in twenty twenty three?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Twenty two three, so he's been around for a while.
You haven't been on the show somehow, and I don't
know how you did that. But Anthony referred to the
difference between today and your first day. Do you remember
much about your first day?
Speaker 5 (10:15):
I remember a lot about my first day.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
How'd you hear about Camp Hope? Let's start there.
Speaker 5 (10:20):
So I was in a program in Kansas.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
City and I had a eight What kind of program?
Speaker 7 (10:25):
It was a VA program. It was called PRWP. So
this was out of Topeka for combat trauma. Yes, okay,
there was a guy named there's a guy there that
I didn't think I would get along with.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Those are usual ones that help you the most. It
is true.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
Yeah, it's still my good friends to this day. We've
been good friends since that program. He actually told me
about this place in twenty twenty two, teld me I
need to get down to Houston because they could probably
help me.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And what was going on? What land did you in
that program?
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (11:04):
What didn't you know? Uh?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
This is for the people out there driving around sixteen.
I have no idea who is short. So I have
to tell that to Anthony because he'll take an hour
and a half and he'll think it was ten minutes.
Speaker 7 (11:19):
It's hard, it's hard to shorten these things.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
The green apps in the middle of him telling the story.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Oh, these will keep you on the edge of your seat.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (11:29):
Car Uh let me long, long story, short high speed.
Speaker 7 (11:34):
Chase with the with the cops, got me there, uh
twenty eighteen. I Uh I ran until I couldn't run
no more.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Is that what you're doing then? Running or you.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
I've been running from my running, running from everything.
Speaker 7 (11:50):
Uh and uh A high speed chase with the with
the law, with law enforcement, helicopters, three other different UH agencies. Uh,
we're on my tail and uh I ran out of gas.
Speaker 6 (12:07):
Man.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
That's basically That's basically what happened. I ran out of gas.
Speaker 7 (12:11):
I ran out of gas. All of the above that
was my signs.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So clearly you thought this thing through well and planned
for the chase very much.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
No, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
What happened when they call you.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
Uh I gave up, I put I raised my hands up,
I smoked a cigarette, and uh uh I surrendered.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (12:41):
I spent a year in prison and uh I had to.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Do some soul search.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Yeah. For those listening, think that sounds this whole sounds
a little weird. I have to insert some levity in here,
because these stories can get pretty pretty deep pretty quick.
Your first stay at camp, what was that experience like
coming to a place that you had no idea who
it was. I'm guessing you've probably never been to Houston,
Texas before. Absolutely not a little anxiety into that.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
A lot, a lot of anxiety. But I fought everything.
I fought everything they were trying to do for me.
I didn't want to be away from my family.
Speaker 5 (13:24):
I didn't want to I didn't want to give up
whatever a little bit.
Speaker 7 (13:30):
I thought I had myself to someplace that I had
I had no trust in you know what I mean.
I'd had no faith in anything. So I was very rebellious.
So I can tell you that, uh. And I didn't
want to I don't want to listen. But they were
(13:52):
patient with me. And I think that's what I needed,
somebody to just listen to me.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Uh.
Speaker 7 (14:00):
I think in the within the three within three weeks, uh,
I was in Oliver's office and I cried. UH talked
about a few things that were bothering me. And I
couldn't I couldn't help myself anymore.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
They started they.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
Started falling down my face man and and Uh. I
remember Oliver writing a little note on his door and
he put a put the date on there and he said,
today that was a win. I didn't quite understand what
he meant by that at that time, but I do
understand what he means by now.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, Ryan, let's go back to right out of high school,
you're joining the army. By the army.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
By the way, my grandfather served in the army, and uh,
I was the only boy, and all my cousins were
all girls and I was the only boy. And uh,
he told me everything. You know, he didn't tell my
mom the stuff that he told me. And I was like,
you know what I want to I'd love to be
in the army, and stuff like that.
Speaker 8 (14:57):
Nine to eleven happened. I was, Uh.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
We watched the second plane hit and lo and behold.
My mother's on a flight to New York that day,
and I was having a meltdown. I was like, you
gotta be kidding, you know, I didn't know if it
was her flight. And after that that was the uproar.
You know, the whole country's up up in arms. And
I'd say a good fifteen to twenty percent of my
(15:22):
class to join the Armed services, and I was one
of them. I turned eighteen January seventeenth of four and
January eighteenth, I was at the recruiter's office.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
So you knew you were going to go to war?
Speaker 8 (15:34):
I did? I did. They straight up told me say
they you know you're going to wars? Yeah, I know that.
I signed up too good to war.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Why Why Because I was angry with somebody hitting us
in the gut, just like Pearl Harbor December seventh, nineteen
forty one, when the Japanese hit Pearl Harbor, everybody you
know was angry. It's like, you know, punching us in
(16:01):
the face, and we weren't having it. So I believe
I wanted to get my piece.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Out of it.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
What were you doing on your first tour?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
My first tour, I was a PATCHI crew chief and
manning Apache helicopters, sitting them out twenty four to seven
to eyes in the sky and keep our ground troops safe.
We worked eighteen hours a day easily. We'd sleep for
(16:33):
four hours, get back up, get back on the flight line.
We had twenty four hour ops continually going. And that's
not just in Iraqi, that's that's stateside too, So we
worked twenty four hours a day.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Just real quick, How different was your second tour from the.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
First second tour? That was Afghanistan? That was it was different.
I was I was a sergeant at the time, and
I was split from my unit and they sent me
down to shank and that was nicknamed Rocket City.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So, uh, Houston's.
Speaker 8 (17:07):
Rocket Houston Rockets.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
But they weren't well in certain parts of town. It
could be.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Absolutely. I definitely agree with you, you know, I can.
I can definitely tell you in would over there, you know,
go over there. I don't even think the police officers
go over there.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Gun's point yea, Oh absolutely. Websites ptsd USA dot org.
Ptsd usa dot org not only for Camp Hope, which
is a six to nine month program baith based peer
to peer, but also our Warrior groups both for veterans
and our support groups for family members. Our family groups
all available online. Uh. Ptsd USA dot org. Got to
(17:44):
take a quick newsbreak for those of this, you know,
nine to five. Oh, we'll be right back with more
of Road to Hope.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Radio Beautiful Heroes proved again Liberating Strife.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Full disclosure. I have a hard time breaking in on
that song right there, that just feels unpatriotic to talk
over that, that version that voice. Mm hmmm, I'd list
that all the time. I love that Welcome Back Road
to Hope Radio. Glad to have you along here. All right,
So first day it's some anxiety. What would you what
(18:53):
would you say your attitude was? You're just canna give
him emotion? For what your attitude was?
Speaker 4 (18:57):
What was it?
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I mean too, was just anger, which is almost every
single vet that comes into our program.
Speaker 7 (19:07):
Yeah, pretty much. I didn't know how to deal with that.
That was an emotion that I like to just keep underneath.
I didn't like to express it. I didn't know how to,
especially without substances. So substances were uh sometimes that was
my escape, escape from anger, and I mean a place
(19:30):
now I can't do that, you know, I have to,
I have to feel these emotions.
Speaker 5 (19:33):
And I didn't know it. I didn't know what that
looked like.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
You know, you mentioned the three weeks in. Was it
three weeks in when you broke down and cried yes, sir, okay.
So often I'll have people ask me, you know, how
do you kind of gauge the progression of someone in
the program, And generally speaking for me, it's it's when
(20:01):
you see someone smile for the first time, you know
something's starting to click. And I mean it's the very,
very very beginning. But guys come in so angry with
everything and everyone, and it's hard to get out of that.
(20:26):
So I look for the smile. You smile all the time.
Now true, how do you think you got there?
Speaker 5 (20:35):
Ah?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Was this? Was that that version of you? The current
version of you? Is that what you were prior to?
Absolutely not No, I mean prior to combat to Oh yes.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
I like to.
Speaker 7 (20:48):
I like to laugh and smile, and I like to
make other people feel good. And I mean I think
everybody likes to be feel good about themselves.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
That's you know.
Speaker 7 (20:59):
I don't think people want to walk around feeling bad
about themselves, so sure, but I like to give that
to other people, and I think smelling is my way
of doing that.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You know, Anthony, you've been around in a mentor for
quite a while. You mentioned earlier you lead mentor basically
mentor to the mentors. He mentioned something that we hear
literally almost every week on the show, but we never
really kind of dive into it. And I want to
just real quickly let you dive into it for a
second before we get back to Ryan's story, But he
(21:34):
talked about the coping mechanism of the drugs, and that's
not one hundred percent of our guy's story, but it's
a high percentage for the for the John Doe civilian
that's just trying to you know, raise his family, you know,
(21:57):
keep the bills paid, keep the eric condition or on,
keep food on the table, which is a challenge. There's
a lot going on in the world's on fire. It
seems like every single day when they hear that, I
think they have to wonder how that happens and why
that happens. You got any from the time that you've
(22:19):
been a mentor and watched and dealt with these guys
going through these stories, any insight on that that helps
common civilian understand how that keeps happening over and over again.
Speaker 6 (22:28):
So obviously it's a very dynamic process when it comes
to every individual. Two are the same. But I would
like to think whether it be an intense childhood trauma,
whether it be a lot of guys go to war
and they come home and their families are broken, or
they're broken and their family doesn't know how to interact
(22:52):
with them or vice versa, or you know, and like
I said, it's very dynamic. Is that you know a
guy was in war and you know this sounds bad,
but I'm gonna say it is that, you know, the
responsibility of your family is important, it is very heavy.
But the responsibility of another person's life that you're covering
(23:15):
and counted on for ensuring their safety and vice versa,
that's an intense responsibility.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
And if that.
Speaker 6 (23:24):
Responsibility is just abruptly and a lot of times, you
know it's done in a way that that a combat
vet has resentments. I've heard so many stories of guys saying, look,
you know, I was just let go, or they just
said they're done with me, or they you know, discharged me.
I hear that a lot, and I think that all
(23:45):
of those factors play a part in somebody not wanting
to deal with that pain or you know, their their
pains so intense that you know, I've heard you say
it is that you know somebody that commits suicide, it
isn't that they want to diet's that they believe that's
the only way to stop the pain. I've heard you
say that, and I love that. I think some guys
(24:08):
when it comes to substance abuse, it's the only way
they know how to deal with that pain. And to me,
that's what makes sense. That's what I've observed as a
lead mentor.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Ryan. Let's get back to your second tour. You mentioned
being in a rocket city, and your two tours were
a fair distance apart. They weren't stacked right on top
of each other. Obviously PTSD's party life. He wouldn't be
at camp Hope. When did you first notice some issues
(24:39):
or did somebody help you notice those issues?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I can tell you right now I was having flashbacks.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
So while you were still in, when I was.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Still in I got back from my second employment in
two or twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Talk to anybody about it?
Speaker 8 (24:53):
I did not I did was the obvious.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
The stigma, yeah, of don't go to mental health, that'll
ruin your career, and uh, you know you're weak if
you if you, if you need help, and that's how
that's how we were treated. And somebody set off, uh
just jokingly as a brand new private and we're out
in the field, uh, doing a field exercise, and he
(25:18):
set off the same alarm that uh, the incoming alarm,
and I I came to underneath the bed.
Speaker 8 (25:26):
I mean I almost died from that.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
I mean I had a rocket come in and uh
blew on the other side of my tent, and if
I was laying on the underneath my bed with my uh,
my body armor sprout out over me and uh, somebody
busted in and said are you okay? And I jumped
up and I was like, okay, I had to get
my bearing and went to the bunker. So I had
(25:50):
I'd have flashbacks from that, just certain sounds would set
me off in that I didn't understand it, and I
never got help for it. I never went and talked
to anybody, just because I didn't want to look weak.
I didn't want to look I didn't want They always
scared us, like, oh, you'll be kicked out and you'll
never be able to own a gun again. So I
(26:10):
kept my mouth shut and buried it deep and deep
and deep. And that stuff will start festering, and you
can only bury so much until it starts coming up.
And once it's overflowing that boiling pot, it starts overflowing
and everything starts coming out.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
So give me just a little bit about your journey
from that to arriving at Camp Hope several years later.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Several years later, so we're talking twelve years later from that.
So I got out in twenty nineteen, December first to
twenty nineteen. And my wife looked at it as a blessing.
She said, don't look at as something bad, look at
as another chapter. I didn't know what to do. I
(27:02):
was institutionalized. I've the via No. I was institutionalized, like
in my mind through the military. So, I mean, that's
what I knew. I was a senior staff starting. I
was a staff startoner for seven years when I got out,
So I took a job contract job immediately, and I
(27:23):
went right back to Iraq and heard that story a
few times yep. And I went right back to Iraq,
and I was there for when President Trump hit Solmney.
I was fifteen miles away from that. And then when
I ran shot the rockets or the missiles in I
(27:46):
was there for that. I was there when they took
over the embassy. I watched eighty second fly and I
was like, gome on, boys, let's go. And I came
back from that and that gave me trauma as well.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Know, when you visit cities or other countries, a lot
of people will look around and gift shops and such
and fine postcards to send little notes of here's where
I'm at having a great time. I should have a
(28:22):
postcard from that the rockets coming in. That'd be a
cool postcard. Don't you think.
Speaker 8 (28:30):
Fourth of July exactly? What are they going to do
for fourth of July? For us?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I just got to break the tension a little bit,
get to smile back. Hey, we're going to take a
quick break and we'll be right back with more of
Road to Hope Radio. It's not unusual, but it took
(29:08):
a little while to go from all the flashbacks and
things that started to dissolve devolve from there. How did
you hear about Camp Hope.
Speaker 8 (29:20):
As a matter of fact, my dad works at Meadowbrook Farms.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Oh that's right, Yeah, I forgot about that.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
He's the assistant pro and they host the the golf tournament.
Speaker 8 (29:33):
Well, I don't believe they didn't do it this year.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
And meadow Brook Farms.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Birdies for Hope, Birdies for Hope, Birdies for Hope. So
my last I've had I've been in and out of
the VA sixth floor. I've suicide survivor, I've had three
suicide attempts just because it's like Anthony said, I just
(30:02):
didn't want to do it anyway anymore than that was
the only way out. And God spent me out every
single time and said not today, not today, It's not
your time. So my dad was like, you know what,
he told my mom about it and everything like that.
My mom got on it and she's like filled out
(30:23):
all the paperwork and uh with my wife. And on
top of that, I draw, you know, drug my wife
and kids for hell because of all this mental illness
that was unresolved. You know, the VA was trying to
throw medicine at me left and right, left and right.
At one point in time, I was taking twenty two
pills a day. I said that I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Remember day one a camp.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Absolutely I walked in uh uh my sister dropped me
off at camp and uh Travis and uh he was
a resident at the time. Travis and George were sitting
on the the uh ah bench outside and waiting on
(31:11):
me because I knew I was coming. So I showed
up and they said okay. I started uh getting everything
put together, and Travis immediately said, welcome home, brother, and
gave me a big hug, big old dude and gave
me a big hug. And uh so started in processing
with with George and uh got everything set up in
(31:33):
in uh in the bay and then Bay Layer comes up.
I'm the Bay leader, okay, okay, and uh he goes
whatever you need, brother, We'll take care of you all.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Velvet Vet. Let me tell you remember your first warrior group. Yes,
I do.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
It was uh it was actually it was actually pretty good.
I mean I didn't I didn't say anything in my
first war group.
Speaker 8 (32:02):
I did not.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
It was a bigger setting. I prefer the evening war groups.
It's a little smaller setting and you know, get everything
out that you want to get out. Warrior groups to
me are a phenomenal, you know, way to get stuff
off your chest. And it's great because you're gonna be
(32:26):
around people that they know what you're talking about. They
don't judge you because they've probably been through the same thing.
Somebody has been through the same thing, and it's just
great to have somebody that'll listen to you not have
any response back saying you know, well you should have
done it this way, you should have done it that way.
Speaker 8 (32:46):
No, we don't do that.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
You take that pastor let's go back to Let's go
back to say, when did you get to camp?
Speaker 3 (33:00):
By the way, I got to camp. Uh, it was
the fifth of May.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
May. So let's go back as best you can in
your mind to February.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Juxtapose waking up in February versus your attitude when you
woke up this morning. Uh.
Speaker 8 (33:21):
In February, I didn't want to wake up. I didn't
want to wake up.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I was questioning my faith, I was questioning everything, and
I didn't I really had.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I even told my wife, I said, how can I
care about someone when I don't care about myself? So
I went down. I drug my I drug myself through
the dirt. Uh for for several months, oh, actually two
months to be exact. And then April I ended up
going back to the VA and on the sixth floor
(33:52):
and got into West Oaks and then West Oaks to.
Speaker 8 (33:56):
Camp Hope.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
What are you looking forward to?
Speaker 8 (34:02):
Life?
Speaker 3 (34:04):
That's what I'm looking forward to. I'm living for today.
I'm not living for tomorrow, not living in the past anymore.
I don't need to live in the past. What already
happened happened. I can't change that. I'm not gonna worry
about what's happening tomorrow because it hasn't came yet. So
I'm living for today.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Keep you now mentoring training, that's right, But even prior
to that, after completing the program, been around camp and
seeing a lot of these guys come through and a
lot of life change take place on that campus. What's it?
(34:51):
What's it like for you when you see the guy
come in and go through the intake process like Ryan
just described, and whether it's three weeks or three months
or five months and you start to see somebody change,
What's this like for you?
Speaker 7 (35:11):
It's a constant reminder of why I need to do this.
It's not just you know, waking up going to a job.
It's not just waking up, you know and going throughout
the day. Today, There's there's somebody that that may depend
on me to be there for a smile, for uplifting
(35:34):
you know, comment, you know, you know, for just a
ear to you know, just to listen to whatever they
got to say. You know, today, I when I wake up,
I I have to be that support that was given
to me in twenty twenty three and in twenty twenty four,
and I love being able to do that. I don't
(35:56):
think there's another job that I've been early to.
Speaker 5 (36:00):
For this one.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
There you go. That's one way of putting it. I
like that frame reference. That's pretty good, Anthon. We got
about a minute. I want you to there's somebody out
there and it's probably a family member watching, just like
Ryan mentioned dragging his family through so much junk before
(36:23):
he got to camp and how difficult they can be
on family. But talk to that person out there. Either
either is the one who's struggling or they are watching
someone that they dearly love struggling. You got about a minute,
it's the person struggling.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
Go to a warrior group.
Speaker 6 (36:36):
I want to go after what Ryan says is, you
know we have warrior groups in the Woodlands. We have
visual uh virtual warrior groups off of PTSDUSA dot org.
And if it's a family member, I would highly recommend
calling the crisis line one eight seven seven seven one
seven seven eight seven three. We have a lot of
(36:56):
stories of combat vet's where they're family members were the
ones that initiated the process, So I would highly encourage
the family members to do that. Plus they will turn
lock arms with another family that's already going through this
process that will help them as well.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
And a reminder it's free to share our story wherever
you listen to podcasts, look for Road to Hope Brady.
If you'll hit that subscribe button, we truly appreciate it.
But I also share that also our social media on
Facebook x formly known as Twitter and YouTube PTSD USA.
That's the channel PTSD USA on YouTube X and Facebook.
(37:37):
We'd love for you to share. Follow us on those
social media pages. Lots and lots of stories, lots and
lots of videos, guys telling their story, Graduates of the
program telling what happened to them and what's changed because
of Camp Hope. It's a great way to stay in
touch with what's happening at the PTSD Foundation of America.
How you can be involved in ways that obviously writing checks,
(38:00):
but also just volunteering sharing the story. It costs you
nothing to do that except a little bit of time.
We truly do appreciate you doing it. It can actually
help save somebody's life. PTSD USA, Facebook X and YouTube
PTSD Foundation on the Instagram, Fellows, thank you for joining
us today. Thank you for sharing some of your story.
(38:22):
It's our hope that somebody out there connects with a
little bit of what one of you said, and I
know somebody will, so we'll be thankful for that. But
thank you guys for sharing your story. Appreciate it. I
hope you have great resks of the week, and we'll
look forward to being with you again next week for
more of Road to Hope Radio
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans
and the troops that.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Have been to war and now they're back and think
and be grateful for their service.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all that they.
Speaker 4 (00:17):
Do for us.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
We forget that those people exist.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Devil dogs, and so much more.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters,
sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These
veterans answered the call, now we answer theirs. They are
the best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today,
(01:05):
we honor them and we serve them. David Malsby is
your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans,
as together we are building the road to hope.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
And indeed we are glad to have you along. On
a Sunday afternoon, those of you listening through the kPr
C the nine to five oh on the AM dial
here in Houston, Texas. Thank you for joining us, and
those of you who are listening through the Magic Podcast,
thank you so much for doing so. I hope you
hit the subscribe button and share it liberally. Share it
with your friends, neighbors, ex friends, ex neighbors, local authorities,
(01:46):
local bill collectors that are after you, whoever it may be,
everybody you weren't across with could use a little bit
of hope. Wherever you listen to podcast, just look for
Road to Hope Radio and there we are. Got about
a little over eight years of programs. There so lots
and lots of store worries to inspire hope. And again,
everyone you meet could use a little bit of that.
(02:06):
Big thank you to our show sponsors allows opportunity to
spend little time with you each and every week. Our
great friends Billy and Connie Stagner at a Quarry Diamond
and Design that's acri down friends with when it's time
to get that something special for someone special, you want
to do business with people you trust and people that
share your values. These folks love our veterans, They love
(02:28):
PTSD Foundation of American Camp Hope two A one four
eight two forty seven fifty five two eight one four
eight two forty seven fifty five. And because well we
all have those moments. Oopssteam dot com. We keep them
on speed dollar around our place oopsteam dot com. If
you want to call them, you can chick can two
(02:49):
eight one eight two two zero five six one. You
don't want just anybody coming into your house to do
the cleaning. Oopsteam dot com. And when you're ready to
buy that piece of Texas for that dream home, you
want to make sure you put it in the right spot.
Check out Republic Grand Ranch dot com. You're going to
love it. Just a little outside the northern partion of Houston, Texas.
(03:13):
Beautiful place, great community, a lot of law enforcement veterans,
et cetera who are buying out there and building out there.
It's a beautiful spot. Republic Grand Ranch dot com. All right,
we've got we have a full house here today and
all Marines Army. We did that last week. Last week
(03:35):
was all Marines to date, it's all Army. Glad to
have you guys too. You've never been here before, which
still shocks me. I'm surprised to let you in with
the cap you're wearing their kip. There's nothing to say.
So sometimes silence is the better, better choice. You know
where you're at, right, absolutely? Okay, Yeah, So just Anthony's
(03:57):
one of our lead mentors. I have him introduced himself,
but clearly he has some things he still needs to learn. Anthony,
you want to introduce yourself, well, I want.
Speaker 6 (04:06):
To stay in that category of things to learn. And
you've asked us all at the beginning to show what
branch we're in. So I'm wondering where your cognitive awareness is.
You're saying with all marines.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I was trying to trying to help you guys out,
just didn't work.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
Anthony Murou, lead mentor at Camp Hope, originally from southwestern Pennsylvania,
served in the US Army with two deployments to Afghanistan.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
All right, keep your turn cap Bond's pressures on.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Yes, yes, it's a little pressure, but I can't.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
I can.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I can handle it.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
From Kansas City, Missouri.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Missouri, I say that show Yes, sir, you got to
show me.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Okay, fresh n I.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
T I'll show you a better cap to wear.
Speaker 7 (04:49):
That ain't gonna happen. Sorry, I'm sorry, this is just
not gonna happen. I'm always wear this cap is always
gonna say Kansas City on it. Unless I wear something
from my late pops that's that'll be a pay had
it now. I'll do that for him. But other than that,
it's gonna be Kansas City baby.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
All right? And where Wayne, did you deploy again?
Speaker 7 (05:07):
I deployed to Iraq eight and nine with the first
Armored Division out of Germany.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Okay, and then we have an Army VET that's currently
in our program at Campope. We'll talk a little bit
about that as we hear these guys story. Ryan, want
to terad yourself a.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Right, Pastor, Ryan Schaffner. I'm from Houston, Texas. Hey, thanks,
born and raised to the show. Joined the Army four
got out in nineteen. I have two deployments, one to Iraq.
My first appointment was Iraq and that was from two
thousand and six to two thousand and seven. That was
when they came out with the fifteen month deployments. I
(05:45):
was eight months into it and it's like starting halfway
all over again. And I have My second employment was
with two on nine out of Germany to Afghanistan and
that was twenty twelve to twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Okay. When did you join the army.
Speaker 8 (06:05):
In two thousand and four.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Four, yes, sir, what were you doing before that?
Speaker 8 (06:10):
Before that? I was in high school?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Okay, so he went straight out of high school.
Speaker 8 (06:13):
Straight out of high school.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
I was, Uh it was my sophomore year when uhame
in high school.
Speaker 8 (06:20):
Claim to fame. I was the chaplain of the FFA.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Really, yes, sir, I didn't even know they had a
chaplain for the f f Absolutely I was the chaplain.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Did you do anything or just oh, I had a title.
Speaker 8 (06:32):
I prayed us in and held the title.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Okay, didn't strain your back then?
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Doesn't absolutely not, you know, clean up the stalls anything
like that. I definitely had to clean up stalls, you know.
As a matter of fact, on the way over here,
we were talking about that because Kit bought a house
that's right by the agbarns for Katie is SD and
I told him. I was like, yeah, man, I remember
when they first built that and there was only four
because Katie only had four high schools.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Now they've just opened their tenth high school in Katie
I s d U. I graduated from Taylor High School
in two thousand and four and went in the army.
But yes, freshman year, I had a Lamb. My mother
named it Bert Lambcaster. I told her, so, I don't names,
because you know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Did you eat it?
Speaker 7 (07:19):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Some someone lucky.
Speaker 8 (07:21):
People got to eat it again. They paid it. They
paid one thousand dollars to Lamb.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
That's awesome. So all right, we're gonna be running to
a break here in just a second. But real quick,
let me give you our number, our crisis trauma line
eight seven seven seven one, seven seventy eight seventy three.
A combat that's going to answer the phone eight seven
seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. We'll be
right back.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
In the corn.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I saw you in.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
So you fellas from outside of Houston. You heard him
talk about the the growth of the Katie is SD.
See here in Houston, we build things, we grow, we
we get bigger. Unlike how many people live in Pennsylvania
now a couple hundred fifty.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Once again, they can't need an evaluation. But I like
that you call us failers, trailers, hey, tailors.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Trying to home.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
For those that are new to this, UH, this podcast
and radio station pastor is definitely feeling it today, So
I highly enjoy the uh the banter here this morning.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Remember it's morning somewhere but not here. Just letting you
know hey real quick. I love to share these stories
when some of our guys who went through our program
previously just randomly write messages and share them either or
(09:11):
on social media or sindirect messages to me. This is
from Joe mclinney. Did you know Joe? I can't remember
when he came through.
Speaker 6 (09:22):
I'd have to look at the tracker.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
I mean, I know it all becomes a blurred about
who was here when. But anyway, he wrote, I would
love to thank PTSD Foundation of America for changing my
life and connecting me with God on a more personal level.
He got a selfie there with his house in the background.
It looks like it looks like he's in a rural
(09:44):
place that looks very peaceful and a big smile on
his face. How about that.
Speaker 8 (09:48):
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, which you were talking a minute ago before the show.
You and I were both surprised Kip having been around
as long as he's been around. When did you first
get to Camp.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Hope out there in twenty twenty three?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Twenty two three, so he's been around for a while.
You haven't been on the show somehow, and I don't
know how you did that. But Anthony referred to the
difference between today and your first day. Do you remember
much about your first day?
Speaker 5 (10:15):
I remember a lot about my first day.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
How'd you hear about Camp Hope? Let's start there.
Speaker 5 (10:20):
So I was in a program in Kansas.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
City and I had a eight What kind of program?
Speaker 7 (10:25):
It was a VA program. It was called PRWP. So
this was out of Topeka for combat trauma. Yes, okay,
there was a guy named there's a guy there that
I didn't think I would get along with.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Those are usual ones that help you the most. It
is true.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
Yeah, it's still my good friends to this day. We've
been good friends since that program. He actually told me
about this place in twenty twenty two, teld me I
need to get down to Houston because they could probably
help me.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
And what was going on? What land did you in
that program?
Speaker 4 (11:03):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (11:04):
What didn't you know? Uh?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
This is for the people out there driving around sixteen.
I have no idea who is short. So I have
to tell that to Anthony because he'll take an hour
and a half and he'll think it was ten minutes.
Speaker 7 (11:19):
It's hard, it's hard to shorten these things.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
The green apps in the middle of him telling the story.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Oh, these will keep you on the edge of your seat.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (11:29):
Car Uh let me long, long story, short high speed.
Speaker 7 (11:34):
Chase with the with the cops, got me there, uh
twenty eighteen. I Uh I ran until I couldn't run
no more.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Is that what you're doing then? Running or you.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
I've been running from my running, running from everything.
Speaker 7 (11:50):
Uh and uh A high speed chase with the with
the law, with law enforcement, helicopters, three other different UH agencies. Uh,
we're on my tail and uh I ran out of gas.
Speaker 6 (12:07):
Man.
Speaker 5 (12:08):
That's basically That's basically what happened. I ran out of gas.
Speaker 7 (12:11):
I ran out of gas. All of the above that
was my signs.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So clearly you thought this thing through well and planned
for the chase very much.
Speaker 5 (12:27):
No, absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
What happened when they call you.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
Uh I gave up, I put I raised my hands up,
I smoked a cigarette, and uh uh I surrendered.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (12:41):
I spent a year in prison and uh I had to.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
Do some soul search.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Yeah. For those listening, think that sounds this whole sounds
a little weird. I have to insert some levity in here,
because these stories can get pretty pretty deep pretty quick.
Your first stay at camp, what was that experience like
coming to a place that you had no idea who
it was. I'm guessing you've probably never been to Houston,
Texas before. Absolutely not a little anxiety into that.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
A lot, a lot of anxiety. But I fought everything.
I fought everything they were trying to do for me.
I didn't want to be away from my family.
Speaker 5 (13:24):
I didn't want to I didn't want to give up
whatever a little bit.
Speaker 7 (13:30):
I thought I had myself to someplace that I had
I had no trust in you know what I mean.
I'd had no faith in anything. So I was very rebellious.
So I can tell you that, uh. And I didn't
want to I don't want to listen. But they were
(13:52):
patient with me. And I think that's what I needed,
somebody to just listen to me.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Uh.
Speaker 7 (14:00):
I think in the within the three within three weeks, uh,
I was in Oliver's office and I cried. UH talked
about a few things that were bothering me. And I
couldn't I couldn't help myself anymore.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
They started they.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
Started falling down my face man and and Uh. I
remember Oliver writing a little note on his door and
he put a put the date on there and he said,
today that was a win. I didn't quite understand what
he meant by that at that time, but I do
understand what he means by now.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, Ryan, let's go back to right out of high school,
you're joining the army. By the army.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
By the way, my grandfather served in the army, and uh,
I was the only boy, and all my cousins were
all girls and I was the only boy. And uh,
he told me everything. You know, he didn't tell my
mom the stuff that he told me. And I was like,
you know what I want to I'd love to be
in the army, and stuff like that.
Speaker 8 (14:57):
Nine to eleven happened. I was, Uh.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
We watched the second plane hit and lo and behold.
My mother's on a flight to New York that day,
and I was having a meltdown. I was like, you
gotta be kidding, you know, I didn't know if it
was her flight. And after that that was the uproar.
You know, the whole country's up up in arms. And
I'd say a good fifteen to twenty percent of my
(15:22):
class to join the Armed services, and I was one
of them. I turned eighteen January seventeenth of four and
January eighteenth, I was at the recruiter's office.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
So you knew you were going to go to war?
Speaker 8 (15:34):
I did? I did. They straight up told me say
they you know you're going to wars? Yeah, I know that.
I signed up too good to war.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Why Why Because I was angry with somebody hitting us
in the gut, just like Pearl Harbor December seventh, nineteen
forty one, when the Japanese hit Pearl Harbor, everybody you
know was angry. It's like, you know, punching us in
(16:01):
the face, and we weren't having it. So I believe
I wanted to get my piece.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Out of it.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
What were you doing on your first tour?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
My first tour, I was a PATCHI crew chief and
manning Apache helicopters, sitting them out twenty four to seven
to eyes in the sky and keep our ground troops safe.
We worked eighteen hours a day easily. We'd sleep for
(16:33):
four hours, get back up, get back on the flight line.
We had twenty four hour ops continually going. And that's
not just in Iraqi, that's that's stateside too, So we
worked twenty four hours a day.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Just real quick, How different was your second tour from the.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
First second tour? That was Afghanistan? That was it was different.
I was I was a sergeant at the time, and
I was split from my unit and they sent me
down to shank and that was nicknamed Rocket City.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
So, uh, Houston's.
Speaker 8 (17:07):
Rocket Houston Rockets.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
But they weren't well in certain parts of town. It
could be.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Absolutely. I definitely agree with you, you know, I can.
I can definitely tell you in would over there, you know,
go over there. I don't even think the police officers
go over there.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
Gun's point yea, Oh absolutely. Websites ptsd USA dot org.
Ptsd usa dot org not only for Camp Hope, which
is a six to nine month program baith based peer
to peer, but also our Warrior groups both for veterans
and our support groups for family members. Our family groups
all available online. Uh. Ptsd USA dot org. Got to
(17:44):
take a quick newsbreak for those of this, you know,
nine to five. Oh, we'll be right back with more
of Road to Hope.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Radio Beautiful Heroes proved again Liberating Strife.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Full disclosure. I have a hard time breaking in on
that song right there, that just feels unpatriotic to talk
over that, that version that voice. Mm hmmm, I'd list
that all the time. I love that Welcome Back Road
to Hope Radio. Glad to have you along here. All right,
So first day it's some anxiety. What would you what
(18:53):
would you say your attitude was? You're just canna give
him emotion? For what your attitude was?
Speaker 4 (18:57):
What was it?
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I mean too, was just anger, which is almost every
single vet that comes into our program.
Speaker 7 (19:07):
Yeah, pretty much. I didn't know how to deal with that.
That was an emotion that I like to just keep underneath.
I didn't like to express it. I didn't know how to,
especially without substances. So substances were uh sometimes that was
my escape, escape from anger, and I mean a place
(19:30):
now I can't do that, you know, I have to,
I have to feel these emotions.
Speaker 5 (19:33):
And I didn't know it. I didn't know what that
looked like.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
You know, you mentioned the three weeks in. Was it
three weeks in when you broke down and cried yes, sir, okay.
So often I'll have people ask me, you know, how
do you kind of gauge the progression of someone in
the program, And generally speaking for me, it's it's when
(20:01):
you see someone smile for the first time, you know
something's starting to click. And I mean it's the very,
very very beginning. But guys come in so angry with
everything and everyone, and it's hard to get out of that.
(20:26):
So I look for the smile. You smile all the time.
Now true, how do you think you got there?
Speaker 5 (20:35):
Ah?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Was this? Was that that version of you? The current
version of you? Is that what you were prior to?
Absolutely not No, I mean prior to combat to Oh yes.
Speaker 5 (20:48):
I like to.
Speaker 7 (20:48):
I like to laugh and smile, and I like to
make other people feel good. And I mean I think
everybody likes to be feel good about themselves.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
That's you know.
Speaker 7 (20:59):
I don't think people want to walk around feeling bad
about themselves, so sure, but I like to give that
to other people, and I think smelling is my way
of doing that.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You know, Anthony, you've been around in a mentor for
quite a while. You mentioned earlier you lead mentor basically
mentor to the mentors. He mentioned something that we hear
literally almost every week on the show, but we never
really kind of dive into it. And I want to
just real quickly let you dive into it for a
second before we get back to Ryan's story, But he
(21:34):
talked about the coping mechanism of the drugs, and that's
not one hundred percent of our guy's story, but it's
a high percentage for the for the John Doe civilian
that's just trying to you know, raise his family, you know,
(21:57):
keep the bills paid, keep the eric condition or on,
keep food on the table, which is a challenge. There's
a lot going on in the world's on fire. It
seems like every single day when they hear that, I
think they have to wonder how that happens and why
that happens. You got any from the time that you've
(22:19):
been a mentor and watched and dealt with these guys
going through these stories, any insight on that that helps
common civilian understand how that keeps happening over and over again.
Speaker 6 (22:28):
So obviously it's a very dynamic process when it comes
to every individual. Two are the same. But I would
like to think whether it be an intense childhood trauma,
whether it be a lot of guys go to war
and they come home and their families are broken, or
they're broken and their family doesn't know how to interact
(22:52):
with them or vice versa, or you know, and like
I said, it's very dynamic. Is that you know a
guy was in war and you know this sounds bad,
but I'm gonna say it is that, you know, the
responsibility of your family is important, it is very heavy.
But the responsibility of another person's life that you're covering
(23:15):
and counted on for ensuring their safety and vice versa,
that's an intense responsibility.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
And if that.
Speaker 6 (23:24):
Responsibility is just abruptly and a lot of times, you
know it's done in a way that that a combat
vet has resentments. I've heard so many stories of guys saying, look,
you know, I was just let go, or they just
said they're done with me, or they you know, discharged me.
I hear that a lot, and I think that all
(23:45):
of those factors play a part in somebody not wanting
to deal with that pain or you know, their their
pains so intense that you know, I've heard you say
it is that you know somebody that commits suicide, it
isn't that they want to diet's that they believe that's
the only way to stop the pain. I've heard you
say that, and I love that. I think some guys
(24:08):
when it comes to substance abuse, it's the only way
they know how to deal with that pain. And to me,
that's what makes sense. That's what I've observed as a
lead mentor.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Ryan. Let's get back to your second tour. You mentioned
being in a rocket city, and your two tours were
a fair distance apart. They weren't stacked right on top
of each other. Obviously PTSD's party life. He wouldn't be
at camp Hope. When did you first notice some issues
(24:39):
or did somebody help you notice those issues?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I can tell you right now I was having flashbacks.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
So while you were still in, when I was.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Still in I got back from my second employment in
two or twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Talk to anybody about it?
Speaker 8 (24:53):
I did not I did was the obvious.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
The stigma, yeah, of don't go to mental health, that'll
ruin your career, and uh, you know you're weak if
you if you, if you need help, and that's how
that's how we were treated. And somebody set off, uh
just jokingly as a brand new private and we're out
in the field, uh, doing a field exercise, and he
(25:18):
set off the same alarm that uh, the incoming alarm,
and I I came to underneath the bed.
Speaker 8 (25:26):
I mean I almost died from that.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
I mean I had a rocket come in and uh
blew on the other side of my tent, and if
I was laying on the underneath my bed with my uh,
my body armor sprout out over me and uh, somebody
busted in and said are you okay? And I jumped
up and I was like, okay, I had to get
my bearing and went to the bunker. So I had
(25:50):
I'd have flashbacks from that, just certain sounds would set
me off in that I didn't understand it, and I
never got help for it. I never went and talked
to anybody, just because I didn't want to look weak.
I didn't want to look I didn't want They always
scared us, like, oh, you'll be kicked out and you'll
never be able to own a gun again. So I
(26:10):
kept my mouth shut and buried it deep and deep
and deep. And that stuff will start festering, and you
can only bury so much until it starts coming up.
And once it's overflowing that boiling pot, it starts overflowing
and everything starts coming out.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
So give me just a little bit about your journey
from that to arriving at Camp Hope several years later.
Speaker 3 (26:39):
Several years later, so we're talking twelve years later from that.
So I got out in twenty nineteen, December first to
twenty nineteen. And my wife looked at it as a blessing.
She said, don't look at as something bad, look at
as another chapter. I didn't know what to do. I
(27:02):
was institutionalized. I've the via No. I was institutionalized, like
in my mind through the military. So, I mean, that's
what I knew. I was a senior staff starting. I
was a staff startoner for seven years when I got out,
So I took a job contract job immediately, and I
(27:23):
went right back to Iraq and heard that story a
few times yep. And I went right back to Iraq,
and I was there for when President Trump hit Solmney.
I was fifteen miles away from that. And then when
I ran shot the rockets or the missiles in I
(27:46):
was there for that. I was there when they took
over the embassy. I watched eighty second fly and I
was like, gome on, boys, let's go. And I came
back from that and that gave me trauma as well.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Know, when you visit cities or other countries, a lot
of people will look around and gift shops and such
and fine postcards to send little notes of here's where
I'm at having a great time. I should have a
(28:22):
postcard from that the rockets coming in. That'd be a
cool postcard. Don't you think.
Speaker 8 (28:30):
Fourth of July exactly? What are they going to do
for fourth of July? For us?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I just got to break the tension a little bit,
get to smile back. Hey, we're going to take a
quick break and we'll be right back with more of
Road to Hope Radio. It's not unusual, but it took
(29:08):
a little while to go from all the flashbacks and
things that started to dissolve devolve from there. How did
you hear about Camp Hope.
Speaker 8 (29:20):
As a matter of fact, my dad works at Meadowbrook Farms.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Oh that's right, Yeah, I forgot about that.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
He's the assistant pro and they host the the golf tournament.
Speaker 8 (29:33):
Well, I don't believe they didn't do it this year.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
And meadow Brook Farms.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Birdies for Hope, Birdies for Hope, Birdies for Hope. So
my last I've had I've been in and out of
the VA sixth floor. I've suicide survivor, I've had three
suicide attempts just because it's like Anthony said, I just
(30:02):
didn't want to do it anyway anymore than that was
the only way out. And God spent me out every
single time and said not today, not today, It's not
your time. So my dad was like, you know what,
he told my mom about it and everything like that.
My mom got on it and she's like filled out
(30:23):
all the paperwork and uh with my wife. And on
top of that, I draw, you know, drug my wife
and kids for hell because of all this mental illness
that was unresolved. You know, the VA was trying to
throw medicine at me left and right, left and right.
At one point in time, I was taking twenty two
pills a day. I said that I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Remember day one a camp.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
Absolutely I walked in uh uh my sister dropped me
off at camp and uh Travis and uh he was
a resident at the time. Travis and George were sitting
on the the uh ah bench outside and waiting on
(31:11):
me because I knew I was coming. So I showed
up and they said okay. I started uh getting everything
put together, and Travis immediately said, welcome home, brother, and
gave me a big hug, big old dude and gave
me a big hug. And uh so started in processing
with with George and uh got everything set up in
(31:33):
in uh in the bay and then Bay Layer comes up.
I'm the Bay leader, okay, okay, and uh he goes
whatever you need, brother, We'll take care of you all.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
Velvet Vet. Let me tell you remember your first warrior group. Yes,
I do.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
It was uh it was actually it was actually pretty good.
I mean I didn't I didn't say anything in my
first war group.
Speaker 8 (32:02):
I did not.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
It was a bigger setting. I prefer the evening war groups.
It's a little smaller setting and you know, get everything
out that you want to get out. Warrior groups to
me are a phenomenal, you know, way to get stuff
off your chest. And it's great because you're gonna be
(32:26):
around people that they know what you're talking about. They
don't judge you because they've probably been through the same thing.
Somebody has been through the same thing, and it's just
great to have somebody that'll listen to you not have
any response back saying you know, well you should have
done it this way, you should have done it that way.
Speaker 8 (32:46):
No, we don't do that.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
You take that pastor let's go back to Let's go
back to say, when did you get to camp?
Speaker 3 (33:00):
By the way, I got to camp. Uh, it was
the fifth of May.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
May. So let's go back as best you can in
your mind to February.
Speaker 4 (33:11):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Juxtapose waking up in February versus your attitude when you
woke up this morning. Uh.
Speaker 8 (33:21):
In February, I didn't want to wake up. I didn't
want to wake up.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I was questioning my faith, I was questioning everything, and
I didn't I really had.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
I even told my wife, I said, how can I
care about someone when I don't care about myself? So
I went down. I drug my I drug myself through
the dirt. Uh for for several months, oh, actually two
months to be exact. And then April I ended up
going back to the VA and on the sixth floor
(33:52):
and got into West Oaks and then West Oaks to.
Speaker 8 (33:56):
Camp Hope.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
What are you looking forward to?
Speaker 8 (34:02):
Life?
Speaker 3 (34:04):
That's what I'm looking forward to. I'm living for today.
I'm not living for tomorrow, not living in the past anymore.
I don't need to live in the past. What already
happened happened. I can't change that. I'm not gonna worry
about what's happening tomorrow because it hasn't came yet. So
I'm living for today.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
Keep you now mentoring training, that's right, But even prior
to that, after completing the program, been around camp and
seeing a lot of these guys come through and a
lot of life change take place on that campus. What's it?
(34:51):
What's it like for you when you see the guy
come in and go through the intake process like Ryan
just described, and whether it's three weeks or three months
or five months and you start to see somebody change,
What's this like for you?
Speaker 7 (35:11):
It's a constant reminder of why I need to do this.
It's not just you know, waking up going to a job.
It's not just waking up, you know and going throughout
the day. Today, There's there's somebody that that may depend
on me to be there for a smile, for uplifting
(35:34):
you know, comment, you know, you know, for just a
ear to you know, just to listen to whatever they
got to say. You know, today, I when I wake up,
I I have to be that support that was given
to me in twenty twenty three and in twenty twenty four,
and I love being able to do that. I don't
(35:56):
think there's another job that I've been early to.
Speaker 5 (36:00):
For this one.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
There you go. That's one way of putting it. I
like that frame reference. That's pretty good, Anthon. We got
about a minute. I want you to there's somebody out
there and it's probably a family member watching, just like
Ryan mentioned dragging his family through so much junk before
(36:23):
he got to camp and how difficult they can be
on family. But talk to that person out there. Either
either is the one who's struggling or they are watching
someone that they dearly love struggling. You got about a minute,
it's the person struggling.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
Go to a warrior group.
Speaker 6 (36:36):
I want to go after what Ryan says is, you
know we have warrior groups in the Woodlands. We have
visual uh virtual warrior groups off of PTSDUSA dot org.
And if it's a family member, I would highly recommend
calling the crisis line one eight seven seven seven one
seven seven eight seven three. We have a lot of
(36:56):
stories of combat vet's where they're family members were the
ones that initiated the process, So I would highly encourage
the family members to do that. Plus they will turn
lock arms with another family that's already going through this
process that will help them as well.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
And a reminder it's free to share our story wherever
you listen to podcasts, look for Road to Hope Brady.
If you'll hit that subscribe button, we truly appreciate it.
But I also share that also our social media on
Facebook x formly known as Twitter and YouTube PTSD USA.
That's the channel PTSD USA on YouTube X and Facebook.
(37:37):
We'd love for you to share. Follow us on those
social media pages. Lots and lots of stories, lots and
lots of videos, guys telling their story, Graduates of the
program telling what happened to them and what's changed because
of Camp Hope. It's a great way to stay in
touch with what's happening at the PTSD Foundation of America.
How you can be involved in ways that obviously writing checks,
(38:00):
but also just volunteering sharing the story. It costs you
nothing to do that except a little bit of time.
We truly do appreciate you doing it. It can actually
help save somebody's life. PTSD USA, Facebook X and YouTube
PTSD Foundation on the Instagram, Fellows, thank you for joining
us today. Thank you for sharing some of your story.
(38:22):
It's our hope that somebody out there connects with a
little bit of what one of you said, and I
know somebody will, so we'll be thankful for that. But
thank you guys for sharing your story. Appreciate it. I
hope you have great resks of the week, and we'll
look forward to being with you again next week for
more of Road to Hope Radio
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.