Fighting Forward

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Troops that have been to war and now they're back and.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Think and be grateful for their service.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all that.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
They do for us. There are some people in this
country who take extraordinary steps to provide for the freedom
and security. We forget that those people exist.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors.

Speaker 4 (00:38):
Devil dogs, and so much more.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters,
sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These
veterans answered the call. Now we answer Theirs are the
best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today,

(01:05):
we honor them and we serve them. David Malsby is
your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans,
as together we are building the road to hope.

Speaker 4 (01:23):
And de glad to have you along on a Sunday afternoon,
The KPRC nine five O and the AMDL thank you
for joining us. Those of you listening through the Magical podcast,
thank you for doing so wherever you listen to podcasts,
just look for Road to Hope Radio. There we are,
as with all things at the PTSD Foundation of America.
Everything we do is free, including the podcast. Really appreciate

(01:43):
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ri I a Corey Diamond Design two eight one forty

(02:04):
two forty seven fifty five. I had a little opportunity
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some time with Billion Connie Stagner Oopsteam dot com because
well we all have those moments in our life. We
keep them on speed dial around our place. Oops Steam
dot com two eight one eight two two zero five

(02:27):
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It's a beautiful place, great community, great people around you.
Republic Grand Ranch dot com. Uh in the studio with
us today. Got a couple of Army guys with us today.
Good to have Justin back. Justin want to reintroduce yourself.

Speaker 5 (03:06):
Yes, sir, great to be back here in the studio.
And I'm Justin Lewis. I'm the lead Resident of Liaison
at Camp Hope, the PTSD Foundation of America Camp Hope,
and I'm the Army veteran. I served six and a
half years in the Army and then I went to Iraq.
During that time period, I went to Iraq for two tours.

(03:28):
I did a fifteen month tour in seven through nine,
and then I did another tour in ten twenty eleven.
And then I made the tough decision. I got out
the Army with a arnorable discharge. But it was definitely
a tough decision. But I felt like I was going
to be able to get out the Army and just
use that GI bill and had everything planned out, and

(03:51):
it definitely didn't go all the way as I plan.
It wasn't a little way, but it kind of went
downhill pretty quick when I got out out and I
just has a lot of issues before I got to
Camp Hope in twenty twenty. September twenty nine, twenty twenty
is when I got to Camp Hope. Then I graduated

(04:11):
the program in about seven months in April twenty twenty one,
and I immediately started working for Camp Hope then. And
I've been working for Camp Hope for a little probably
over about four and a half years now, and it's
the best experience of my life.

Speaker 6 (04:28):
And I thank God for that.

Speaker 4 (04:29):
And we do too, very grateful to have you along.

Speaker 6 (04:32):
Also.

Speaker 4 (04:33):
One of the guys that's in our program currently, Brandon,
you want to just in Rea Shuff real quick.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yes, my name is Brandon Haddock, and I'm was in
the Army with the hundred and first Airborne Division and
I'm now at Camp Hope and I got there in
January of eight this year, and they've been good to me.
It's I mean, it's a great place for veterans. It's
you could be. You can sit there and be what

(04:56):
you want to be and they understand what you're saying,
and everything you talk about they know. So it's not
like someone that you're talking at just some other place.
It's someone that you know can help you and understand
talk to. Where are you from originally, I'm from Lawrenceville, Georgia. Okay,
so gotcha? Why did you join the army? I want

(05:20):
to serve my country. After September eleventh, when did you
join up? I think six months after September eleventh?

Speaker 4 (05:27):
Were you out of high school by then?

Speaker 3 (05:29):
I got my GED?

Speaker 4 (05:30):
Okay, gotcha? So that was your first thing you did or.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
The first thing was that?

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Well, I went to get my GED, and then I
went to go join the military here in Georgia. Down
in Atlanta, took the ASVAB and I was supposed to
go on in the buddy list with one of my
best friends, but he ended up backing out, and me
and my cousin ended up moving to to ted or
not Tennessee, to Louisiana, and from there, I wasn't doing anything.

(05:59):
I mean, I was just drinking and stuff like that,
and I knew I wasn't doing anything, so I decided
to go talk to a recruiter in Vicksburg, Mississippi, and
then I was gonna try and get in the Marines,
but I didn't have enough college credit hours to get in.
Then I chose an army, and I'm glad I chose
that because you know, I love every minute that I've
been there. Why the Army, I mean, it was the

(06:20):
one thing that I could get into. But like I said,
I'm glad that I got in there.

Speaker 4 (06:25):
All right, So you joined up shortly after nine to eleven, correct,
because of nine to eleven. That's right as the motivator.
All right, okay, so we'll delve into your story a
little bit. A reminder as we go through the show.
Some of the things can be triggers are combat trauma

(06:46):
crisis line is answered twenty four to seven three sixty
five by a combat veteran. A combat veteran will answer
the phone when you call eight seven seven seven one
seven seventy eight seventy three. I'll give that to you
against a lot of sevens eight seven seven seven one
seven seventy eight seventy three, or if you have the
old dial numbers, it's PTSD eight seven seven seven one

(07:09):
seven PTSD Again, answer twenty four to seven by a
combat veteran. For all things going on in the foundation
ptsd USA dot org. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD usa
dot org. On social media Facebook, the x are formerly
known as Twitter YouTube ptsd USA ptsd USA and on

(07:33):
the YouTube channel there's a lot of videos. There are
a lot of graduate short stories, so great way for
you to see what's going on. To follow the show
Road to Hope Radio on Facebook. Road to Hope Radio
on Facebook. Thank you for listening. We're going to take
a quick break and be right back with more of
Road to Hope Radio, and we welcomed you back. Rode

(08:08):
Hope Rio good brand new United States Army vet joined
up shortly after nine to eleven. Got Justin who is
on our staff, graduate of Camp Hope, also Army veteran.

Speaker 6 (08:26):
Justin.

Speaker 4 (08:26):
You mentioned as you were introducing yourself a little while ago,
you mentioned some of the struggles in coming home it
didn't quite go as you plan, which is not that
out of the norm, right, I mean you you joined
the Army, Brandon, you joined pretty young. I guess how

(08:48):
old were you?

Speaker 6 (08:49):
I was?

Speaker 4 (08:49):
I was seventeen, yeah, so all right, so not a
lot of life experience at that point, right, never really
had a lot of responsibility and all of a sudden,
you're in the army and all you do is what
they tell you to do, when they tell you to
do it, how they tell you to do it, how
to dress, all that stuff. And then all of a
sudden you're on your own. That's not the easiest thing

(09:11):
in the world.

Speaker 6 (09:13):
Definitely, definitely not. Man.

Speaker 5 (09:17):
I was just I was kind of like more shell
shocked when I got out than I was, you know
when I got in, Like I was more ready to
just go to Iraq when I got in because going
through basic training, I was twenty years old when I
did the delayed entry program and I joined in January

(09:40):
of two thousand and five, and I was twenty one
by that time. And when I went to Basic training
Fort Benning, Georgia, it was just like they really got
us ready quick, you know, from just being ready to fight,
you know, fight the enemy, and they were just boosting
us up like to the point where we was like
where let's go right now, you know.

Speaker 6 (10:00):
And then when I got ready to get.

Speaker 5 (10:02):
Out, I mean they really did just kind of like
give me my papers, like my papers, like here you go.
It took about three days for me to you know,
get everything situated it supposed to take about a week,
but they were just like really just kind of like
it's time to go now, you know. And I had
I stayed in Junction City, Kansas, which is right outside
Fort Rally, Kansas, which I was in the first Infantry Division,

(10:25):
or Fort Raleigh, So they were we were really deploying
a lot at that time, so we were kind of
over like in the military, we were over populated by
that time, twenty eleven. It was kind of like things
were drawing down. So when you decided to get out,
they were like okay, you know, they wouldn't you know.
They tried to ask me to stay in, but they
was like okay. And then I was just kind of like, man,

(10:47):
all right, and we tried to find my way and
then I said, let me just take a long break,
and then a long break turned into like, let me
just keep taking a break. I tried to go back
to school, but I just didn't really understand the PTSD
like I did when I tried to go back to
school in person, and I just felt like boxed in,

(11:07):
like I needed to get out of the classroom. I
didn't want to be in the classroom around a lot
of people that didn't understand me.

Speaker 6 (11:13):
So yeah, it was.

Speaker 5 (11:14):
It was like a change, a big change that I
wasn't ready for for a long time until now, really,
until the last couple of years, I've been more like
ready for, you know, the civilian world. So it definitely
was a shocking experience.

Speaker 4 (11:32):
You know the old saying, idle hens are the devil's workshop,
and that's you know, across the board. Really it's as
a general rule. I remember several years ago now, a
friend of mine, we were having lunch one day and
he talked about he had done well and his business
sold it and he decided he was going to take

(11:54):
a little time off and then kind of got back
into the same kind of trade he was involved in before.
But he talked about the fact that taking that time
off was the biggest mistake he ever made. It really
put him in a hole and never he did eventually
climb out of it, but it was it was a
real struggle, like I should have never taken that time
off like that. I just shouldn't have done it. It

(12:15):
wasn't a good deal. So Brandon, you join up the army,
you head out to Iraq. What year did you go?

Speaker 2 (12:23):
I was in Iraq during the initial ground invasion with
the Third ID from march O three to March O.

Speaker 4 (12:28):
For okay, so a year long, yes, sir, that was
your one diployment. You have multiple I just had one deployment.
One was enough. I'm sure one was enough. Yeah. So
what were you what were you actually doing during that time?

Speaker 2 (12:39):
Well, I was actually infantry. We went on a grounds
salt convoy with Third I D. Third ID was rolling
in front of us, and then we were going to
the city and the Jaff. All right, it's uh, you
got three cities and I right, the largest cities, Baghdad,
the second is my soul, the third is in the Jaft. Well,
Third I D rolled around the city and their goal,
just as it was excuse me up, dejective was to

(13:00):
go straight to uh Bagh Dad, don't stop or anything.
And we we set the L shaped perimeter, you know,
right outside of the Jaff, and the air force started
dropping thousand to five thousand pound bombs on top of
the city and that patchy helicopters were doing you know,
at tax and everything with hell fire missiles, and they

(13:20):
were doing that to make sure that you know, less
casualties and so that you know, we actually liberated and cleared.
We we first went through a military compound, cleared that
military compound, went to a second military compound, cleared it,
got control of the city and uh, you know, the
people were free. They were able to do a liberation

(13:43):
that they ain't done in twenty five years.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
Okay, So you plowed through that pretty quick, which is fine.
Clearing cities is not.

Speaker 6 (13:59):
Easy. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't easy for him because he
was initial.

Speaker 4 (14:05):
Yeah, they were very initial.

Speaker 5 (14:06):
Sleepless, sleeping in vehicles, eating MRIs, nowhere to shower probably
for months, right, so you know.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
We went we went about two months without a shower.

Speaker 6 (14:20):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
So he made the year long deployment. Once that was over,
what what did you do?

Speaker 2 (14:25):
Well, I came back to I came back to Fort Campbell,
and I was having some issues. So I went to
go see the behavior health and uh they diagnosed me.
Two months after redeploying, they diagnosed me with PTSD and
UH anxiety and panic disorder. And so I came back.

(14:46):
I started drinking. I started drinking with everybody in the bay.
And then I had an incident in the barracks where
I was was drinking and I was just you know,
I stabbed in my walllocker just having a minute and uh,
you know, they called the pastor in there and uh
but anyways, onto the next thing. Uh, with the PTSD

(15:07):
and everything, they were gonna let me out of the military.
So that's how I ended up getting out. So but
I wish I would have stayed in.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
Okay. See, so they diagnosed you while you're in correct,
what did they do about it? Other than send you
back to your PA.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
They send me to an impatient treatment for for two weeks.

Speaker 4 (15:27):
Okay?

Speaker 6 (15:28):
What was that like?

Speaker 3 (15:29):
I mean it was.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
It was just like any sober sober drug rehab you know,
or mental rehab. I mean, there was nothing special about it.
Excuse me.

Speaker 4 (15:41):
So it is mainly for your drinking or what drinking
and mental health. Okay, So you did see counselors.

Speaker 3 (15:49):
I did, yes, sir?

Speaker 4 (15:49):
Okay, all right, so that was two weeks.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
That was two weeks, yes, sir.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
And then I got out of there and then they
gave me about uh three or four days to get out.

Speaker 4 (15:59):
Okay. So all right, so thank you for your service.
You're out. They give you any kind of support following
up or did they connect.

Speaker 6 (16:10):
You with the VA? What happened.

Speaker 3 (16:12):
They didn't.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
They gave me my paperwork, and you know that's that way.
When I came out, I found a claim with the
VA because someone told me you could do that, and
I found my claim with the VA, and I was
diagnosed on active duty.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
They should have actually.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Paid me before I left, but they, I guess they
weren't doing that at the time. I think I think
they do do things different now.

Speaker 4 (16:33):
We sure hope, so yes, sir, Yes, we sure hope.
So yeah, especially those early days, I think there was
a lot of just overwhelm stories coming out of the VA.
Still today they just haven't. I don't think they've really
caught up. I just completely overwhelmed. But okay, so they

(16:54):
gave you your paperwork. You're out in just a few
days now.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
And then I get a job at my at my
uncle's comp, my mother's brother, and it's a refrigeration company,
commercial refrigeration putting, refrigeration, piping, and commercial grocery.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
Stores like Walmart, Kroger. Those are the kind of stores
we did.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
And I did that for a while when I went
to school for HVAC and refrigeration, and I got about
halfway through it and I was learning more on the
job than I was learning in school. Sure, so I
quit going.

Speaker 4 (17:24):
Sounds about right, yeah, which normal?

Speaker 6 (17:26):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (17:26):
All right, We're going to take a quick news break
those of you listening on the KPRC nine five old
quick news break, and uh the rest of you hear
a little music and we'll be back with more Road
Hope Radio. But just a reminder PTSDUSA dot org for
information not only on Camp Hope, but also for our
warrior support groups, our family support groups, and again, everything
we do absolutely zero cost to the veteran of the family.

(17:48):
Ptsd USA dot org. We're back in just a moment.
Who drugs the ground and plays so loud baby, it's
the gets out man, and we welcome back. Got brandan

(18:11):
you know States Army event, justin United States Army event,
uh Brenzi shortly after you mentioned this started shortly after
you came back from your first deployment, right, correct? Correct?
All right, so you mentioned panic attacks, anxiety.

Speaker 6 (18:29):
I do.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
I got severe insiety and panic attacks.

Speaker 4 (18:32):
Okay, So describe for us what that might look like
when you were first back.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
I mean I just when I was getting around people
were in the environment, you know, I started by new
noises and stuff like that, love noises, and I just
got it. When I was around a bunch of people,
I had a bunch of anxiety, and you know, it
would turn into a panic attack where I think I'm
having a heart attack, my heart's racing, my palms are sweating,
you know, and I'd go I'd have three or four
panic attacks. And then I found something that helped with that,

(19:04):
with Xanax. And that was the wrong thing to give
me because I was taken too many. You know, I
already had an alcohol problem that wasn't being addressed. Now
I'm taking Xanax on top of it. But it took
away that what am I saying? It took away the edge,
It took away the panic attacks and everything. So I

(19:24):
stayed on it for a little while and then I
got off of them. But I drank every day since
I got out. I drank every day, you know. Uptil
Let's see September twenty second of two thousand and twenty four.

Speaker 4 (19:39):
Okay, this started with I'm gonna guess somewhere around four
when all this beginning, When did you get out of there?

Speaker 3 (19:46):
Two thousand and four, two thousand and five?

Speaker 4 (19:48):
Sorry, five, yes, sir, so you were dealing with that
for nearly twenty years. Correct.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
I went through, uh, two marriages. I do have two
dollars that are eighteen and nineteen. But my first wife
they got the same mother. I didn't have any kids
with the second one. But we you know, definitely my
PTSD affected the whole house.

Speaker 6 (20:14):
You know.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
I tried to be the best follows that I could.
I tried to be the best dad that I could,
and you know, it's just, you know, it just didn't
work out with the drinking and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
Were you still doing the HVAC work I did?

Speaker 6 (20:28):
I did.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
After I stopped working for my uncle's company, I got
a job doing commercial heating there. So I did stay
in that for a while, and then I moved to
residential shortly after that because the commercial HVAC company was
making me travel all over the southeast of Florida, Virginia, Tennessee, Louisiana,
and I was on the road constantly Monday through Friday,

(20:51):
and so I asked him, I said, I said I
need to come in town to be there for my
kids and my wife. And they said, well, all the
work with God is out of town. So at that
point in time, I just cut my ties with them,
and I found a residential heating in their company that
I could stay in town with and I started doing that,
and I did that for about three years, and then
I started doing my own stuff on the side, and

(21:12):
I had my company and I tools everything to the tea,
had a truck and a van and ended up losing
all that with bad decisions.

Speaker 4 (21:24):
Uh the alcohol, I presume.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
It was actually the opiates.

Speaker 4 (21:27):
Okay, So it progressed, yes, sir, quite a bit, all right, Uh,
just not an unusual story, really sadly so very familiar.

Speaker 6 (21:38):
Yeah to me as well.

Speaker 4 (21:39):
And that's the part that I mean, all of the story,
every bit of it is heartbreaking really to hear. Yes,
but when I think of Okay, so you're clearing streets,
you're clearing cities, going into Baghdad and O.

Speaker 3 (21:58):
Four oh actually it was in a Jeff not Jack.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
Sorry, yeah, okay, and O four you get to Camp
Hope in January of twenty five, correct, So that's twenty
one years later. There's a lot of there's a lot
of hurt, a lot of undealt with anxiety, not only

(22:28):
for you, but as you mentioned, for you know, two
marriages your children, everybody that's around, all that in between time,
that part really it weighs extra heavy on me because
I just you know, there's there is a better way.

(22:48):
It's not easy. It's not like here, take this pill
and you know you'll be better. It's hard work. But
all that in between time of personal struggle, but also
the struggle you know, goes out throughout the family, and
I know that was part of your story as well,
long time being homeless here in Houston, but just the

(23:10):
whole struggle after getting out and figuring out what's your
go forward once once you do find some help.

Speaker 6 (23:17):
I think it was kind of like a like a
balance being. I guess for me.

Speaker 5 (23:22):
You know, I did six and a half years in
the army and then I became six and a half
years homeless on the streets, and I finally said that
was enough. So I guess it kind of balanced it out,
and I finally made the Camp hope right in the middle,
like the equilibrium of it. You know, I'm taking the
economics right now, I'm taking a microeconomics class right now
and learning about all that stuff. So I think it

(23:45):
kind of balanced itself out for me after just going
through Camp Hope for the past almost it's about to
be more six and a half years being a staff
member at Camp Hope, so it's really gonna be I
think more on up now I'm on the up end
of it.

Speaker 4 (23:59):
Definitely changed the trajectory of your life. There's no question
there whish we love to see. That's exactly who I
want to see. It happen with the guys that come
through so brand twenty years ish between leaving the Army
getting the Camp Hope. You mentioned the two marriages and

(24:20):
all that. Did you seek any other help? Did you
go back to the VA? Did you do anything looking
for it? Help me figure this out.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
I did go inpatient to quit try and quit drinking.
I did for two weeks and it lasted probably a
week whenever I got out and I didn't really get treatment.
I went and seen some counselors to get on the medication.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
At the VA.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yes, sir, and but I mean the thing was, I
can never quit drinking, so the root of the problem
can never be fixed. You know, you can't fix PTSD
if you're drinking and everything else. You got to have
a clear mind and a clear head. Was this is Atlanta,
VA And Claremont Road Indicator, Georgia.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
Okay, so two weeks that saw all they offered.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
That's all they offered. I tried to see if they
had a long term programming, but they told me no.

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Okay, did they give you any other suggestions or.

Speaker 3 (25:17):
They didn't They didn't have anything at the time.

Speaker 4 (25:21):
About when was this do you think time?

Speaker 2 (25:23):
I'd say probably around two thousand and eight is when
I know I needed some help and everything. And they
put me in a program for two weeks and sent
me out and they didn't need the doctors and everything,
didn't even talk to me about anything. You know, we
went in, I saw a doctor like for five minutes
or less, you know, every every day, and it's not

(25:45):
enough time to try and get out what's going on
inside of you, not enough time for the doctor to
get to know you and your problem and everything else.

Speaker 4 (25:53):
Yeah, you know, it's sometimes it's kind of hard to
put yourself in the time frame of what was going
on then. So if you look back at two thousand
and eight, the term PTSD was still very much an unknown.
If you had to ask the average if you've done
a man on the street thing, like a lot of

(26:14):
late night comedies like to do you didnet a man
on the street in two thousand and eight about PTSD
that you would have got a lot of blank stairs.
I have no idea what you're talking about. So it
was happening. The VA was being overrun. A lot of
veterans were now being diagnosed with PTSD as opposed to

(26:37):
early on. So I meant a lot of guys three
h four deployed and their diagnosis when they got home
was personality disorder. That was their way to get them
out of the army. Like they didn't have a personality
disorder before they deployed, but all of a sudden, they have.
Somebody explained this to me. So they did start making
the PTSD diagnosis, but it wasn't hitting the community. The

(27:04):
news was not sharing that story yet. It wasn't happening now.
Veterans were already homeless then, because I met a lot
of them starting on nine, and there were a lot
of you know, guys twenty one, twenty two years old,
twenty three years old, already homeless, had already served, and
much like you, for whatever reason, they got out early
and find themselves homeless here in Houston. It was crazy.

(27:27):
What was going on back then. But again, there was
a lot of ignorance about PTSD, so it's not too
surprising that they made the diagnosis and then they didn't
really know what to do with it.

Speaker 5 (27:42):
Yeah, it was just giving a lot of people a
lot of medications, especially opioids, you know, opioids they were
giving guys.

Speaker 6 (27:48):
What that eggs they were giving.

Speaker 3 (27:50):
Guys they did they gave me pin and all.

Speaker 6 (27:52):
That stuff back then.

Speaker 5 (27:54):
Now they just kind of don't give it to you,
especially if they know you have substance abuse. They don't
want to give us that kind of medication. That's more
like control of substance. Now, it's better, like you said,
But then a lot of guys got addicted to heroin
and everything like that because they were just giving out

(28:16):
pain killers and all those psychedlic medications and stuff.

Speaker 6 (28:21):
They were just given.

Speaker 5 (28:21):
Like you said, they were just here to take all
this medication, like twenty different meds and come back next
next year.

Speaker 4 (28:30):
Oh yeah, or early on in Camp Hope and we
opened twenty twelve, we had a number of guys coming
in twenty and thirty plus prescribed meds that they were
on from the VA, and it's like, what are you guys,
what in the world. Yeah, again, overwhelmed and they weren't
really sure what to do about it at the time.
Are we going to take a quick break and be
back with more of Road to Hope Radio and just

(28:51):
a month it's justin you mentioned. Uh, after six and
a half years of being home, was kind of just

(29:12):
got the point where enough's.

Speaker 6 (29:14):
Enough enough enough. Yeah, I remember that date.

Speaker 5 (29:17):
I was right down there by minime they can park now,
and they have a place over there called I need
to go back by there and just tell these people
thank you as well. But it's called the Sobering Center
down there, And like when I go to Astros games now,
it's like it's like bittersweet because I remember the days
when I was down there, like you said, a homeless

(29:38):
veteran walking around that area, just sitting outside the gates
of minime party, just listening to the game while consuming
an alcoholic beverage or something like that. So, yeah, I
went there. I had been there a couple of times.
I've been there like three or four times. To this
place because if you're if you're not really doing nothing

(30:00):
and they arrest you, they like a trespassing charge or
was that public intoxication charge. Instead of taking HER's count
of jail, which is always overpacked, they just take you
down there to the little sobeering center. You see other
homeless people in there, might meet a couple of other
homeless veterans in there, and they take you in there
and like let you sleep it off, kind of like

(30:20):
a drunk tank, I guess, and they asked you if
you want help. So they asked me plenty of times
when I had got taken there, like do you want help?
We got places to try to help you, you know,
And I was just no, no, I don't know, I
don't I don't want to go to any program. I
was kind of scared of a program because I was
I was just by myself. I felt like I was
all by myself. I was really a loner and isolating

(30:44):
at that time. And that last time though, I had
been without alcohol for at least about two days, and
it was it was good. It was hitting me hard
and I was detoxing, and I just at least I
was there to detox because god, I think God, it
was like divining mention. He was like, you're gonna want
to quit this time, so I'd say I'm done.

Speaker 6 (31:05):
That was the time I said I'm done. It was
around September seventeenth, twenty twenty.

Speaker 4 (31:10):
Got you, Yeah, some of our first groups were all
three of our first warrior support groups were downtown. One
just north of mid them paid by a couple of blocks.
Was it the Star of Hope men Center there? That's
where the place is connected to that place? Yeah, right there,
then across the street basically I think there's a parking

(31:34):
lot in between Minute Made or Bacon Park, uh and
a place called the George.

Speaker 6 (31:40):
I've been there, a lot of a.

Speaker 4 (31:41):
Lot of veterans living there, and we did some groups there,
and then another one called Midtown Terrace downtown. So those
were our first three groups. We did a lot of
work downtown in the early days.

Speaker 6 (31:52):
I know exactly where you. I probably mess you a
couple of times, I got.

Speaker 4 (31:54):
So I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised.
Probably one hundred pounds list Yes, I was probably fifty
pounds less too, Brandon. So twenty ish years before you
get to Camp Hope, what was it that instigated finding
some kind of something other than what you're doing?

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Like Justin said, I, just I finally had enough. I
was to the point of my life where I just
drink and stared dead dead at the wall, you know,
and just asking myself, why can't I cry? I was
so emotionally numb and everything from the drugs and alcohol.
I couldn't even begin to feel or hurt because I

(32:37):
made myself so numb from everything.

Speaker 4 (32:39):
So what were you doing? So it was drinking and
OPI it's what else?

Speaker 2 (32:48):
Crack cocaine, heroin. I swapped a heroin and I pretty
much done everything.

Speaker 4 (33:00):
Okay, at some point decide this has to stop. Correct,
So how did you find us?

Speaker 2 (33:06):
I actually found y'all through a buddy that has an
organization in Georgia called Operation Rally Point, and I was
talking to him and he told me about Camp Hope
and he set it up and actually I was supposed
to go leave before January, and then I ended up
getting in trouble with you know, failure to report the probation,

(33:28):
and uh, they put me in jail, and then they
actually made it mandatory for me to complete Camp Hope,
so they.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
Took me out.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
It picked me up from jail, took me to the airport.
I got on an airplane and came straight to camp Hope.

Speaker 4 (33:40):
All right, so you've been here seven eight months now
sounds about right. Yeah. They didn't put any kind of
time of it on you. They did just complete it correct. Correct. Okay,
So you're going a little longer than the sixth nex months,

(34:00):
which is completely fine and not abnormal. There aren't a
lot of we say six to nine months. There's some
guys that do it in six months. Yeah, it's not
the common.

Speaker 6 (34:12):
I did seven months a bit. Yeah, about seven and
nine are usually. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:17):
Okay, so you've been here for a little bit, correct,
not done, not finished. What's what's happening? What are you learning?
What are you what's changing?

Speaker 2 (34:30):
I'm learning to deal with my anxiety. I get real
bad social anxiety and just being able to communicate with people.
I wasn't able to communicate with people, isolated myself so
long from everybody, you know, from friends, family, just completely
push everybody away, even including my kids.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
And I mean, okay, yeah, so we we load you
up and bring you uptown into the Ihearts studio. Uh,
deal with some anxiety. It's a it's a great thing.
Glad you're here, Thank you, Glad glad to be here. Sure,
and glad you're working through it and able to do

(35:10):
what you're able to do here. What are you hoping
for when this is all sudden?

Speaker 2 (35:16):
I'm just I mean, I'm hoping to just gain control
of my life again. You know, where I have confidence
when I'm talking to somebody, I'm not so anxious and
nervous all the time that that kind of withdraws me
from having a conversation, because I don't want to have
a conversation with someone if I sound nervous or a
little stressed out, you know, so.

Speaker 3 (35:35):
I kind of pull back.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
But I'm learning how to communicate with people and not
be so anxious and nervous because, like I said, social
anxiety was a big part of mine. And you know,
I just I hope to be able to get on
my feet, get a job and work. I haven't been
able to hold a job in a long time. I'm
going to get a full time job and work and

(35:57):
get an apartment.

Speaker 3 (35:58):
That's my plan.

Speaker 4 (36:01):
What about your daughters.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
My daughters are in Georgia.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
I mean, I thought about going to Georgia, but I
don't think that's in the option because of the people
I know. Another option is going to Louisiana with my cousin.
He's starting an HVAC company. I was going to go
there and help him. So it's between. It's between staying
in Houston or going to Louisiana and I'll see my daughters.
They'll come out and visit me. I'll buy them a

(36:26):
plane ticket and uh, they'll come out and visit me,
and I'll go to Georgia at least visit them.

Speaker 4 (36:32):
So you're maintaining some level of communication.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
So definitely, before I came to Camp Hope, I was
talking to him every other day.

Speaker 4 (36:39):
Okay, good, So.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
I Camp Hope has been able to restore that to me,
my relationship with my kids, you know, to give me
the tools and everything I need to be able to,
you know, talk to them and you know, not sit
there and uh say don't do this, don't do that,
but be more of a friend and a father, you
know than anything.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
How are they responding to what you're going through it now?

Speaker 3 (37:00):
They're they're i mean very supportive.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
They think I need it, you know, and it kind
of chokes me up a little bit, But I mean
it's good to actually be able to hear him and
you know, they're excited to talk to me and my
youngest daughter, the one that Morgan's at eighteen, so she'll
keep me on the phone for like thirty minutes.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
He was talking to me, a chatty girl, she is
got it. Well, yeah, I'm glad you're able to do that,
and glad you're restoring those relationships. That's fantastic, yes, sir,
And obviously wish you nothing but the best as you
finish up what you're doing here at Camp Hope, and
then whatever your go forward ends up being wishing you

(37:39):
nothing but the best. You got a great, great guy
sitting to your left right now. It's a great motivator
and a reminder of what can be done and how
life can be changed.

Speaker 5 (37:53):
And he's been communicating with me well too. Just want
to let you know that confirmation is that on the
way here, on the drive here, he's asking me some
good questions and have me thinking like, Okay, I don't
want to tell him something that ain't true, so I'm
gonna tell him the best of my knowledge. You know,
about one bedroom apartment, how much they cost? It depends
on where you stay at. And he was asking me

(38:15):
some good questions and we had a good conversation on
the way here. Stop at the corner store and yeah,
so you're doing a great job, brother, Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 4 (38:23):
Peer to peer that's what works. That's what we do
with PTSD Foundation, not only at Camp Hope and also
all of our support groups. It is peer driven and
we've proven that it works. PTSDUSA dot org and again
on social media, PTSD USA on Facebook, the x and
on YouTube, PTSD USA, PTSD Foundation of America on the Instagram.

(38:48):
Thanks for listening. You listen to podcasts, look for Road
to Hope Radio and we look forward to being with
you again next week. For more of Road to Hope Radio,
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