Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Multiple people in my family clean my father are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Troops that have been to war and now they're back.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
And think and be grateful for their service.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
That they do for us.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
We forget that those people exist.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors,
devil dogs, and so much more. We call them fathers, brothers,
sons and husbands, mothers, daughters, sisters and wives. We call
(00:49):
them friend and neighbor. These veterans answered the call. Now
we answer theirs, and they are the best our country
has to offer.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
And we love them.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Today, we honor them and we serve them. David Malsby
is your host, and he welcomes you to this community
of veterans, as together we are building the road to hope.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
And glad to have you along on this Sunday afternoon
on a KPRC the nine to five oh and the AMD.
I'll thank you for joining us as you drive around
endlessly on Loop six' ten or The Boat way or
The grand Park, way. Whichever when you Use glad to
have you along those of you listen through The magic,
podcast thank you for. Listening and you can listen wherever
you listen to. Podcasts just look For road To Hope.
(01:44):
Radio there we. Are it's all. Free we truly do
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(02:06):
Hope so thank you for doing. That thank you for
being a part of. IT i got a couple of
veterans in the studio with us, today Got justin who
is on our. Staff we'll hear a little bit of his.
Story another veteran The center program At Camp hope right,
now and you're going to hear a little bit of
his story as we go throughout the course of the. Show,
(02:27):
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right justin want to reintroduce yourself to the. World, yes good.
Afternoon my name Is Justin.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
LEWIS i am An army veteran from the first Combat Aviation,
Brigade First Infantry division out Of Fort, Riley. Kansas And
i'm a staff member At Camp hope now for the
past four. Years AND i Graduated Camp hope In april
of twenty twenty, one and so this is my graduation
(04:16):
month and my four years of working At Camp.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Hope AND i love WHAT i.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
DO i love everything About Camp hope and THE Ptsd
foundation Of. America i'm From, Houston, texas.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
And congratulations four. Years that's. Awesome Fort, riley that's got
to be one of the the not top ten places
anybody wants to, go, Right that's What that's what most
people told me WHEN i was In. Korea that was
my first duty station.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
With korea in two thousand and, five two thousand and,
six AND i had got orders BECAUSE i didn't. DECIDE
i didn't really move fast enough on DECIDING i want
to go To Fort benning OR i want to go To.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Hawaii that's what a lot of people are say In.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Hawaii, yes twenty FIFTH id was out, there and that's
what a lot of people like to go out there
because Of. Hawaii BUT i didn't do that fast, enough
and THEY i got orders For, Raley, kansas and they
were telling.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Me, oh, man but coming from a long were you?
Speaker 5 (05:16):
THERE i was there two thousand and six all the
way until twenty eleven WHEN i got an honorable discharge
out of the.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Army but most of the TIME i was In.
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Iraq though most of the TIME i was we were
getting ready to deploy or we were deployed WHILE i was.
There but the TIMES i, wasn't it was it was
okay because you, know most of my families From, arkansas
and being from the, CITY i kind of liked to
get out of the city a lot of, times and just.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Being out of the, city not a lot of entertainment
choices around, there not really not, really you, know you,
KNOW i LIKE, Nascar so we went to we got
a chance to go to The Kansas Motor, Speedways so
there you. Go that was very cool to do that
In Kansas. City you have pretty good. Barbecue, yeah you're
not too far From, kansas not too. Far, yeah Although
(06:04):
i'm not sure about their. BARBECUE i guess it.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Was it was.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Edible, yeah put enough sauce on, it you can eat. It,
yes that's. Funny, Yeah i'm glad to have you back
In houston with the barbecues. Definitely, YEAH i don't have
to have sauce to eat, it, right you're right about.
That we also have a veteran that's in our program
currently At Camp, hope which is our interim residential program
(06:33):
for veterans dealing with combat related TO. Ptsd want a quick.
Introduction who you, are where you're.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
From, yeah my Name's Benny saban From, Hayward. Wisconsin it
was with The United States navy boord the USS Cre
sarge and also did two years with The Army National
guard out Of heyward seven twenty Fourth Fordsport.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Company we've had a few guys that have done multiple.
Branches it's been in a while so as we've had
one on the, show so good to get into that
a little. Bit where are you?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
From Originally, Hayward, Wisconsin.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
WISCONSIN i hear a little bit of that. There, yeah
just a Little.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah we talked to our nose every now and.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Then it's the accent, though it. Cancer, yeah it's like la. Yeah.
Yeah we were talking earlier and getting to know you
tell me about the different lakes up, there and it
was a pretty good. Conversation it's too, cold it's too
hot In. Texas, SEE i will take the heat over the,
cold and the heat's. Uncomfortable cold hurts the older you. Get,
(07:38):
yeah you'll figure it out sooner or. Later all, right
we'll get into a little bit of his story and
a little more adjustins as we go along the. Way
this Is road To, hope, right we'll be right.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Back who drops the crowd and the place so, loud,
baby it's, like get.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Out, man and we welcome you back To road To Hope.
Radio glad to have you. Along god JUSTIN I State's ARMY.
(08:18):
Vet four years Of Camp. Hope that's, awesome, Man that
just that makes me, happy just makes me and to
think of all the change that's transpired in your. Life H,
yeah it's just it's a reminder it can work if
you work it just, Sir, YEAH i JUST i worked over.
Weekend do to you this.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Weekend it's like everything happened according to How god wants
it to. Happen AND i think that's the biggest THING
i had to, understand and coming To Camp hope helped
me understand.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
That like. ACCEPTANCE i didn't even realize THAT i was
the way THAT i was UNTIL i got The Camp.
Hope like talking to counselors about fear and this fear
based and as you're trying to control. SITUATION i was,
LIKE i THOUGHT i was far from. That but THEN
i started.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Realizing more THAN i need to give up the control
and trust in The. Lord and in the past four
years a lot has.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Happened, yeah very positive changes In justin's. Life it's. Outstanding
happy for. You we've also got Ben United States navy
And United States army veteran uh So wisconsin where it's
way too. Cold we've already established. That did you go
(09:31):
into The navy right out of high school or was?
Speaker 4 (09:33):
There, yeah we started the process WHILE i was a,
senior directly after nine to, eleven and then it.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Was a nine to eleven kind of a motivator for
that or not really quite a.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
Bit AND i wasn't sure about college at the. Time
that's the next best bat BEFORE i got in too much.
Trouble that can, happen you know that age. Happen no clear.
Direction why did you choose The? Navy, actually my grandfather
was Uh, navy SO i followed in his. Footsteps, really
he was In World War? Two, okay do you don't
(10:08):
know where he? SERVED i DON'T i know he was cook.
Nice he Was atlantic, side so he's east. Back he
never had any combat or any submarine problems.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Or anything like. That that's about ALL i. Know, yeah
he didn't talk much about.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
It shouldn't none of them ever. Did, yeah it wasn't
there a, thing all. Right so you served how four?
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Years four Years navy and THEN i got out AND
i was actually roughly nine months LATER i was recalled
by The, navy BUT i found out about The Bludha green.
PROGRAM i didn't want to go back because WHILE i
was in The, NAVY i was doing a lot of
(10:56):
search and seizures when we were In columbia and things like,
that drug, Raides SO i kind of wanted to stay
in them. Lines BUT i knew IF i went back
there just bring me back to be an elevator. Electrician
SO i switched to The, army which is blue to,
green and they made me a water purification.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Specialist that sounds. Fun oh, yeah that was.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Interesting.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Yeah so where all were you? Deployed you Mentioned columbia
during The, Navy.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
SO i was, Golf, Iraq, Maraine, panama did a little
bit of Around, africa was never in, country and then
north Of South america in The, atlantic So, Columbia, cuba
and then we did a lot of search and seizure
in The gulf Of.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Mexico up, north doing the same thing in the. Right.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Uh, no In iraq weate part Of Assault, division so
we were deploying marines.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Music?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Gotcha, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah all, right, Okay and so
you were out a couple of years before you joined the.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Army, uh it was roughly roughly nine, MONTHS i can't.
Exactly and THEN i got the recall. Letter so THEN
i had another three month process of getting into The
army and a second boot, camp which is.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Wonderful you weren't as young the second. Time all. Right
did you feel the? DIFFERENCE i can. Imagine, YEAH i
was very.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Different.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Uh and where'd you deploy in The?
Speaker 4 (12:25):
ARMY i actually never deployed with. THEM i did help
with all their workups and things of that nature BECAUSE
i was only.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Doing one year. Contracts.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Gotcha and we were about to, deploy BUT i found
OUT i was having a little, girl SO i decided
not to extend my.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Contract that's WHEN i ended my military. Career got you?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Understood? Uh quickly a reminder ask everyone to get your phone,
out put this phone. NUMBER i get it in your
phone so you've got it when you need. It and
maybe you're not the one that needs, it but you
will come across somebody that needs, it so have in your.
Phone it's better to have something and not need it
than need it and not have. It so please put
this in your. Phone eight seven seven seven to one
(13:07):
seven seventy eight seventy. Three that is The Combat Trauma
Support line at THE Ptsd foundation Of, america answered twenty
four to seven by a combat, vet someone who's been
through our program and received a great deal of additional,
training or before they receive the opportunity to serve the
organization through the what we lovingly call THE bat. Phone
(13:29):
eight seven seven seven one SEVEN PTSDs eight seven seven
seven one seven seventy eight seventy. Three, again you never
know when you may come across a, veteran a family
member of a, veteran a friend of a veteran that,
knows somebody that's struggling and needs somebody that they can
talk to that actually, understands not a psych not someone
(13:50):
just reading answers off a, screen someone who's, deployed someone
who's been in, there someone who's, lost someone who's smelled it,
all seen it, all experienced it, all brought it home with,
them and then learned how to cope with that eight
seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy. Three the
website's ptsdusa dot org for all of the information about
(14:12):
not Only Camp, hope which is our interim housing. Program
we bring veterans in from all across the, country every
era of, combat every military, branch all the informations, there
all at zero cost to, you the family the, veteran zero.
Cost and in addition to, that we also have our
(14:33):
support groups that we run for combat, vets law, enforcement first,
responders contractors have been in those, groups and we also
run support groups for family. Members and that can be a,
family it can be, friend it can be even a,
neighbor just somebody that cares about someone who's struggling to
be a part of that support group and help get
informed about WHAT ptsd, is how it's showing up in
(14:57):
the behaviors of your love and your, friend and how
you can help support them in those moments of. CRISIS
ptsdusa dot. Org by the, way we've mentioned it a
couple of, times but here we are Next, saturday The
Crawfish bash down AND i think it's Basically Texas city Or.
(15:20):
Lamark maybe It's, lamark but it's what was called The
mall of The. Mainland it's right. There so many of
you ever have you ever gone To galveston From, Houston
you know where The mall of The mainland. Is but
there is a, major major crawfish. Event so this is
the one you do not want to. MISS i know
there's a lot of crawfish boils Around houston this time of.
(15:41):
Year this is the one you do not want to.
Miss there will be some sixty ish cook teams from
around noon to around. Six you can visit any or
all if you can eat that much crawfish that is
all you can eat for that say. HOURS i think
(16:01):
the wristbands right now are thirty. Bucks so you want
to go, online there will be a link on Our facebook.
Page just look For road To Hope radio On. Facebook
there will be a link there where you can buy
the risk. Band because it's less expensive to buy the
wristband before than it is to buy it. There plus
speeds things up once you get. There you get in
and by the, way there's a lot more than. Crawfish
(16:23):
there's an entire carnival going on for the. Kiddos so
it's a great family, environment a lot of fun for the.
Kids there's live music will be, there which who needs
crawfish will be. There oh, YEAH i mean just come see.
Us and the added bonus is you'll get to eat
some crawfish way. There it's, great but it's an all day.
(16:43):
Thing it's a lot of fun goes the party goes
on into the. NIGHT i leave before the party. Starts
i'll leave that to. Others but the crawfish, BASICALLY i
think it's noon to. Six they're serving the cook teams
and it's a lot of fun and supports a Great
Causets foundation Of america as well as a few other
small nonprofits that serve the children of the. Area so,
(17:06):
again if you go to The facebook Page road To
Hope radio On, facebook we'll have a link there and
click on that and get your wrist band and get
it taken care. Of all, right we are going to
those of you listening on the nine to. Five, oh
we're about to run to our bottom of the hour news.
Break after that we'll come. Back we'll hear a little
bit more about your time in the, Military, benning and
(17:28):
justin jump. In don't be quiet over, there jump on
in anytime you. Like and, again wherever you listen to,
podcasts just look For road To Hope. Radio we do
appreciate you subscribing and. Sharing you never know who might
hear it and need The. Hope it's being offered TODAY
ptsdusa dot. Org road To Hope. Radio wherever you listen to,
(17:49):
podcasts we'll be right back with More road To Hope
radio and were welcome you Back road To Hope. Radio
(18:11):
David malsby, here glad to have you. Along all, Right,
ben here's the question of the. Day are you ready
have crawlfish in wisconsinish.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
All lobsters and you all got mug bugs down?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Here we?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Do, yeah we eat the claw meat on. Ours, okay all,
right very? Nice, yes makes. SENSE i like. IT i
presume you're a. CHEESEHEAD i.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Am.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
YEAH i was afraid of. THAT i almost didn't ask
BECAUSE i assumed you were going to say. Yes, well
we have to limit how many people we allow in
a Camp hope at any given. Time from the other
side Of Mason Dixon, lines it's, just you, know we
gotta limit. That SO i don't know where we're at
on the ratio right. Now do that barbecue up?
Speaker 2 (18:59):
There not really we.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Could i'm glad you don't even. Try that's that's the best.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
News we actually we steal it from everyone else and
make it just a little bit.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Better by putting cheese on. IT i don't know what's
what's In wisconsin that makes it. Better i'm not so
sure about all.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
That probably, not but we like to think so of.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Course you, yeah stay, Pride it's all. Good uh uh.
Okay so join The navy four years out roughly nine
MONTHS ishu into the army three years combat a lot
of snaps and grab you talk, about and the drug
stuff and going on. There when did you clearly your camp?
(19:46):
Hope so you clearly there's SOME ptsd that's going on.
There so when did you first notice something was not
what it should?
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Be about three four years AFTER i got, out.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
After you got up that was, yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
YEP i went to THE va AND i got the
whole meds. Schedule at one point they had gone through
twenty seven different, ones and THEN i didn't like them no,
more AND i quit and ended up just kind of
burying it to the best of my ability with work
and ANYTHING i could.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Find what kind of work did you?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Do landscape?
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Designer, okay, ye my family has a pretty good sized garden.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Center that's WHAT i.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Did you'd enjoy the design, part.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, YEP a lot ate up a lot of. TIME
i can.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
IMAGINE i would think seeing a design come to life
would have to be really a pretty cool. Experience.
Speaker 4 (20:43):
Yeah it's from paper to actually be in. There it's
a lot of.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Joy, YEAH i can. Imagine so you obviously went home
after you got out of the. Military, YEP i went
back to. Hometown, okay so a few years, afterwards when
you begin to notice something's, up what was the tail
to signs for you?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
That, UH i have a lot of.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
SECLUSION i did start drinking pretty good at that, time
AND i went in. CYCLES i might stop AND i come.
Back i'd have some angry issues here and, there actually
quite a few, times but and a lot of, anxiety
a lot of. Depression just then feel LIKE i had
(21:24):
a real place. ANYMORE i was kind of making things
up AS i went, along try to fill a hole
that wasn't.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
There, sure that's way to put.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
It justin he, mentioned you know the twenty seven. Meds
did when you went to THE, va did they throw
a bunch of pills at? You or, yep that's the first.
Thing it's, like you go.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
THERE i was in the OEF oi of, clinic, Right
they have a lot of veterans come back to that go,
THROUGH i, know The HOUSTON.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Va that's how it. Is you go through the OEU
foi of. Clinic they talked to you and then they recommend,
it as you know the psych the psycle on the
sixth floor here In. Houston they recommend different type of.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
Meds AND i would get on the meds for a,
while and you, said drinking on the meds and you,
know self medicating at the same time trying to take
the meds at the VA's offering. You it just gets
very confusing and very hard to adapt, to like reality
and what's reality and what they're trying to get me to.
Do and it wasn't the real HELP i, NEEDED i
(22:28):
know that. Much and it really didn't. Work it started
just getting worse and worse BECAUSE i wasn't, stable you,
KNOW i didn't have a stable, place like you. SAID
i was still wondering What i'm supposed to do with
my purpose especially after the. Military you have so much
of a purpose in the military and then you lose
all of. That so, definitely i'all can understand where you're coming.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
From saving, yeah and this isn't to put anybody or anything,
down just want to hear your. Story in addition to the,
pills did they do anything? ELSE i, MEAN i, know,
OBVIOUSLY i know not everybody that. Was i'm just listening To.
DAVID i know you ended up. Homeless SO i just
did they do anything service, wise anything else of note
(23:10):
other than here's the, prescriptions, counseling that's. It just talk
to a, psychiatrist, doctor, psychiatrist and then how often did
they want you to do?
Speaker 5 (23:22):
That that was just to get the, medication to get the,
pills just to tell my little bit of my, story
and he wasn't really, Listening so that was like it
was just Like i've heard this.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Before here goes the. Pills was that every three months
or you don't even. REMEMBER i would.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
TRY i would try to go there as much AS
i needed, to but it was kind of like shining
away from going to THE va BECAUSE i wasn't REALLY
i wasn't really accepting what they were trying to do
far as just like you, said being the white coat
like a, doctor, right and it's not somebody that's been
through it like a.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Clinicial you, know he's just.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
Trying he's just LIKE i think he was about to retire,
too so it make it even. Worse he was just,
like oh, GOD i was just saying.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Over, THERE i know you're not that like. That you've
got a lot of energy compared To oh, man you're
not as old as, him but you're definitely not in the.
Heart yeah too. Late you got a.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Young spirit That i'm there with you all all the
way to to the.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
End and this isn't, again this isn't too it's not
the VA's. Fault it's one about to. Mention but that's
kind of the the problem of going at it strictly
from the clinical, view because you're handing a guy who's
struggling with his mental. Health here's here's a cocktail of.
(24:46):
Pills uh, well first of, all can you even trust, him,
right because they're mentally not. Well but here's a whole
bunch of pills that all have serious side, effects not
only mental side, effects but it's gonna affect all your major.
Organs when you're taking all that kind of. Medication, yeah
and so just out there on your, own especially once
(25:10):
you reach the place where you're, homeless and, like, man
that's just a, toxic toxic. Situation, benny was any different
for you when they gave you the? Pills did they
offer any other assistance or.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
No no other.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
Assistance what was different from me Was i'm so far
north In wisconsin that all of our stuff was done
through just the video, calls so they could send me
to any psych. Anywhere at one, POINT i had three
different at the same, time and they weren't communicating with each, other.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
SO i was getting three doses of Different.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Now there's a STORY i haven't heard, before Justin i've
never heard that one a little.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Different they were tracking. It and WHEN i SAY i
didn't care about, nothing what's?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
EVERYTHING i. Was was this BEFORE, Covid, yeah long.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Before so it WASN'T covid.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Driven, no it's twenty distance.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Driven which is a part of the problem with THE
vas also had for a, while you, know and a
few years ago there was some effort made In congress
to try to fix it to a, degree AND i
think it helped a little. Bit but they just have
a lot further than they need to take. It but
this whole idea of. Uh for, instance you could live
in let's Say, Cyprus, texas and if you had an
(26:32):
eight thirty appointment at THE vau mean you would have
to if you had a, CAR i, mean you would
have to leave probably about six thirty to get through
traffic get to the. Hospital then it's going to take
you twenty five or thirty minutes to find a place to.
Park if you're familiar with The BAKER va at, all
it is notorious for parking. Issues and so the question, was,
(26:55):
well why are you driving past literally probably fifty to
seventy pharmacies to go get your prescription filled at THE
va when you could get it, filled you, know three
minute walk or a five minute. Drive and that was
(27:16):
part of the. Problem so they had you on three
different doctors at the same time and none of them.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Talking none'm talking to each, other, Right and, yeah they're
all three of. Them only one of them had me
on two medications and the other ones had me three to.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Four SO i was TAKING.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
I, Mean i'd have a full rack with those, weekdays
AND i was taking the whole rack for the. Day
WHEN i SAY i didn't care about. ANYTHING i didn't care.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
About, nothing, Right and getting back to the problem THAT
i just mentioned that they're handing out medication but there's
no oversight and how could THEY i, mean you're, living you, know.
Wherever so Again i'm not blaming, Them i'm just saying
it's a problem that has to be figured out because
they're they're putting, guys they're teen guys up for, failure
(28:01):
that's what they're. Doing like.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
It it took me to a point after we finally
figured out what was going on THAT i had done
some pretty bad things just because it's like the sense
of caring about anything other THAN i, mean not even really.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Myself at the.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
TIME i don't want to feel that way, again SO
i do EVERYTHING i can to stay away from.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Medication, yeah, WELL ptsd alone can do, that just shutting
down the filter in the, brain like there's no right or,
wrong it's just shut. Down then you throw in the,
cocktail make some, meds and especially if you're adding alcohol to,
it like there's a there's a recipe for. Failure all,
right we're gonna take a quick. Break we'll be right
(28:42):
back with more Of road To. Hope radio got Justin,
Benny we'll be right back and we welcome you Back
(29:12):
road To Hope. Radio all, Right, so, uh basically seven
is years in the. MILITARY a few years, later four years,
later you start realizing there's some issues going on and
go to the, a start the medication, thing get tired of,
that and just completely go off the, meds, right is that?
(29:33):
Right all? Right so that was a while. Ago.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Yeah when did you arrive At Camp?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Hope uh The december thirtieth this year or, no last?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Year, YEAH i got that's a lot of time in.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Between, yeah, YEAH I I i bury everything was as
much work AS i possibly, could just to have something
else to worry. About then WHAT i should have been worrying,
ABOUT i guess is the best WAY i can put.
(30:14):
That if it had to do with, WORK i could
go to social, Interactions but if it, DIDN'T i didn't want.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
To have anything to do with. Them.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Really i'd usually be, camping, hunting and fishing by myself
IF i. Could but after a WHILE i even lost
interest in. That.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yeah ONCE i started stop doing, THAT i knew there
was no.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Problem, yeah that's my. Passion, sure, yeah, Yeah well we
want you to get it.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Back, oh, yeah working on.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
It give me a story of an overview of what
led you, to you, know realizing you needed something Like
Camp hope where THEY i mean just you needed help
and how did you hear about? Us just kind of
walked me through that a little.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Bit, well it's it's actually so in. BETWEEN i had
been trying to actually seek help Because i've known there's a,
problem But i've been denied so many times for different
reasons and whatnot insurances or not qualifying or not having a.
DIAGNOSIS i believe it was me and my Girl. Chris
(31:27):
we started researching in all kinds of places and she
Found Camp. Hope and there's the first ones to, say.
Yakamon yeah it was the first time hearing, That SO
i didn't hesitate AND i was on a planet on
the way.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Here, yeah interesting. Timing just simhear the thirtieth, Like, OKAY
i got, IT i understand been. Here so you've been
here four and a half ish. Months how are we.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
Doing i'm doing a lot better THAN i. Was i'm
starting to design baits. Again in my off time at.
CAMP i really.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Want to go. Fishing that's driving me.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
CRAZY i was gonna say that we might be able
to fix. That we might be able to do something
about that. One, yeah that's coming up right. Again, HEY
i don't want to mess up the name of the.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Event, yeah M i don't Want warriors.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Weekend, yeah it's just talk about some of, it but
think about crawfish and then, Yeah warriors weekend is coming, Up,
Yes wars. Weekend, yeah you able to go down The
mexico or go For american it's water and go fishing
off the banks of uh Of. Texas so you're gonna
(32:54):
you're gonna have a great. Time it's a great. Weekend.
Yeah you make sure that you don't miss that. Bus,
uh you'll be treated. Cruelty it's, truly it's an amazing.
Weekend uh they do they just they treat everybody so
great on. Those so hopefully you get to go fishing
here real, quick what's changed for? You what's what's the
different in your?
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Mindset the counselors that can't hope have been absolutely.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Amazing they no.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
Meds we've just been working through different things and we
started new saying called cognitive, therapy Which i've never experienced,
before which has been huge because one of my biggest
problem with avoidance starting to learn that and get things.
Out not having an hour twice a week to do
it is Something i've never had. Before it's helping a
(33:46):
lot good group of guys THAT i. Have we do
a lot of warrior groups even within the house ourselves
plus the warrior groups that.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
That's the peer to peer. Thing, man it, Works it, helps,
works it works afterwards, too if you just stay in
contact with the. Guy that's one of the beautiful things
About Camp hope, is, uh you, know everybody come from
different places and different, experiences in different, backgrounds but all
(34:17):
the shared experience of you, know trauma while in the.
Military so there's that shared experience that draws everybody. Together
but there's this whole bunch of strangers from all across
the country at all different age, ages age, ranges, goodness
but they become friends for life, afterwards AND i love
(34:40):
seeing that take. PLACE i just think that's one of
the coolest parts About Camp. Hope this is just you,
know we talk about side effects for. Pills this is
a side effect From Camp. Hope you've got a lot
of brothers out.
Speaker 5 (34:53):
There WHEN i first got The Camp, HOPE i didn't
realize how like.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
How bad it was for me BECAUSE i.
Speaker 5 (35:02):
WAS i got there and it was they just went
straight to the warrior group or straight to the. Conflicts
it was, conflicts AND i you, KNOW i heard everything
that goes along in, conflicts. Right and then, AFTERWARDS i
mean they were all coming at each other like this
and that and just kind of trying to figure things.
Out and then afterwards it was like giving hugs and
(35:22):
SAYING i love.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
You AND i hadn't had that in a.
Speaker 5 (35:25):
Long, time to be honest with, you like hugs and
someone tell me THAT i.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Love, you and you, know it's like, okay, yeah, right
where my? At, yes what's going on? Here?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Yeah it.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Worked it wore on me real. Quick, yeah you, know
AND i.
Speaker 5 (35:38):
Still do that to this, day just tell PEOPLE i
love them AND i care for them and love like
they say in The, bible, right love is the.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Key do you remember the first step four that you
heard of?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Camp, YEAH i put me in. Tears it was.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Interesting helps guys realize one that they're not as unique
as that's all they were, Like i'm the only ones. Ever, yeah,
no you're not stand in. Line but you, know back
to the whole cognitive, therapy it's like it's huge it's absolutely,
huge and, yes it's forcing you to dig down into
all those corner recesses where we've packed junk away and
(36:16):
wanted to leave it, there and forced to not only
bring it out, there but to tell the tell the whole.
Room but everyone in the room gets.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
It that was a.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
Big thing WHY I i had said avoidance, earlier IS
i started, avoiding you know WHAT i had going, on
especially because trying to talk with people back home about
things THAT i had done or combat That i've, seen
they just want to grass the. Concept within the first
week or two of being In Camp, hope it was
(36:50):
back to having conversations with the same guys as me,
is and we talk a very different. Lango when it's
just us. There we have a humor that a lot
people don't understand and the things that we started laughing
about immediately WHEN i got in, there it was like
all right back to normal for a little bit, here
started figuring things, out and it's working doing what it.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
Said it's going to any trauma related and it doesn't
matter what it. Is but any trauma related, groups the
humor can get really, dark really really, dark and it
doesn't matter what the trauma. Is it can get really,
dark really. Fast but, YES i. Understand hey, man happy
for the progress that you've. Made just keep doing, it
(37:37):
keep doing the, work keep, learning keep working through the,
frustration the, doubts the, fears just keep working through. It,
definitely you got a good guy sitting next to. You
it's got a. Story. Man if you haven't heard, it
making tell it to you on the way, back because
it's proof that stick with. It absolutely life. Changing absolutely
life changes up to. You what you do with it all. Right, again,
(38:00):
reminder wherever you listen to, podcasts just look For road
To Hope. Radio we like The iHeartRadio. App it's. Free
we're sitting In iHeart studios right now as we do.
This but wherever you listen to, podcasts just look For
road To Hope radio and we will greatly say thank
you for not only, listening but subscribing and sharing those.
(38:22):
Podcasts there's a lot of, stories a lot of. Hope
and by the, way it may not necessarily be combat
related trauma that to you or someone you, know LUs
the stories can still bring hope and. Inspiration road To
Hope radio thank you for. Listening look forward to being
with you again next week for more Of road To
hope radio
Multiple people in my family clean my father are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Troops that have been to war and now they're back.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
And think and be grateful for their service.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
That they do for us.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
We forget that those people exist.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors,
devil dogs, and so much more. We call them fathers, brothers,
sons and husbands, mothers, daughters, sisters and wives. We call
(00:49):
them friend and neighbor. These veterans answered the call. Now
we answer theirs, and they are the best our country
has to offer.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
And we love them.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Today, we honor them and we serve them. David Malsby
is your host, and he welcomes you to this community
of veterans, as together we are building the road to hope.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
And glad to have you along on this Sunday afternoon
on a KPRC the nine to five oh and the AMD.
I'll thank you for joining us as you drive around
endlessly on Loop six' ten or The Boat way or
The grand Park, way. Whichever when you Use glad to
have you along those of you listen through The magic,
podcast thank you for. Listening and you can listen wherever
you listen to. Podcasts just look For road To Hope.
(01:44):
Radio there we. Are it's all. Free we truly do
appreciate when you hit that subscribe. Button it'll automatically download
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when you share, that you never know who might come
into contact with, us hear about our, services hear a
story that gets their, attention and, hey it's all about Sharing.
(02:06):
Hope so thank you for doing. That thank you for
being a part of. IT i got a couple of
veterans in the studio with us, today Got justin who
is on our. Staff we'll hear a little bit of his.
Story another veteran The center program At Camp hope right,
now and you're going to hear a little bit of
his story as we go throughout the course of the. Show,
(02:27):
first big thank you to our. Sponsors allow us a
little time to bend with you each and every. Week,
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right justin want to reintroduce yourself to the. World, yes good.
Afternoon my name Is Justin.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
LEWIS i am An army veteran from the first Combat Aviation,
Brigade First Infantry division out Of Fort, Riley. Kansas And
i'm a staff member At Camp hope now for the
past four. Years AND i Graduated Camp hope In april
of twenty twenty, one and so this is my graduation
(04:16):
month and my four years of working At Camp.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Hope AND i love WHAT i.
Speaker 5 (04:20):
DO i love everything About Camp hope and THE Ptsd
foundation Of. America i'm From, Houston, texas.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
And congratulations four. Years that's. Awesome Fort, riley that's got
to be one of the the not top ten places
anybody wants to, go, Right that's What that's what most
people told me WHEN i was In. Korea that was
my first duty station.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
With korea in two thousand and, five two thousand and,
six AND i had got orders BECAUSE i didn't. DECIDE
i didn't really move fast enough on DECIDING i want
to go To Fort benning OR i want to go To.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Hawaii that's what a lot of people are say In.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Hawaii, yes twenty FIFTH id was out, there and that's
what a lot of people like to go out there
because Of. Hawaii BUT i didn't do that fast, enough
and THEY i got orders For, Raley, kansas and they
were telling.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Me, oh, man but coming from a long were you?
Speaker 5 (05:16):
THERE i was there two thousand and six all the
way until twenty eleven WHEN i got an honorable discharge
out of the.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Army but most of the TIME i was In.
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Iraq though most of the TIME i was we were
getting ready to deploy or we were deployed WHILE i was.
There but the TIMES i, wasn't it was it was
okay because you, know most of my families From, arkansas
and being from the, CITY i kind of liked to
get out of the city a lot of, times and just.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Being out of the, city not a lot of entertainment
choices around, there not really not, really you, know you,
KNOW i LIKE, Nascar so we went to we got
a chance to go to The Kansas Motor, Speedways so
there you. Go that was very cool to do that
In Kansas. City you have pretty good. Barbecue, yeah you're
not too far From, kansas not too. Far, yeah Although
(06:04):
i'm not sure about their. BARBECUE i guess it.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Was it was.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Edible, yeah put enough sauce on, it you can eat. It,
yes that's. Funny, Yeah i'm glad to have you back
In houston with the barbecues. Definitely, YEAH i don't have
to have sauce to eat, it, right you're right about.
That we also have a veteran that's in our program
currently At Camp, hope which is our interim residential program
(06:33):
for veterans dealing with combat related TO. Ptsd want a quick.
Introduction who you, are where you're.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
From, yeah my Name's Benny saban From, Hayward. Wisconsin it
was with The United States navy boord the USS Cre
sarge and also did two years with The Army National
guard out Of heyward seven twenty Fourth Fordsport.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Company we've had a few guys that have done multiple.
Branches it's been in a while so as we've had
one on the, show so good to get into that
a little. Bit where are you?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
From Originally, Hayward, Wisconsin.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
WISCONSIN i hear a little bit of that. There, yeah
just a Little.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah we talked to our nose every now and.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Then it's the accent, though it. Cancer, yeah it's like la. Yeah.
Yeah we were talking earlier and getting to know you
tell me about the different lakes up, there and it
was a pretty good. Conversation it's too, cold it's too
hot In. Texas, SEE i will take the heat over the,
cold and the heat's. Uncomfortable cold hurts the older you. Get,
(07:38):
yeah you'll figure it out sooner or. Later all, right
we'll get into a little bit of his story and
a little more adjustins as we go along the. Way
this Is road To, hope, right we'll be right.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Back who drops the crowd and the place so, loud,
baby it's, like get.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Out, man and we welcome you back To road To Hope.
Radio glad to have you. Along god JUSTIN I State's ARMY.
(08:18):
Vet four years Of Camp. Hope that's, awesome, Man that
just that makes me, happy just makes me and to
think of all the change that's transpired in your. Life H,
yeah it's just it's a reminder it can work if
you work it just, Sir, YEAH i JUST i worked over.
Weekend do to you this.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Weekend it's like everything happened according to How god wants
it to. Happen AND i think that's the biggest THING
i had to, understand and coming To Camp hope helped
me understand.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
That like. ACCEPTANCE i didn't even realize THAT i was
the way THAT i was UNTIL i got The Camp.
Hope like talking to counselors about fear and this fear
based and as you're trying to control. SITUATION i was,
LIKE i THOUGHT i was far from. That but THEN
i started.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
Realizing more THAN i need to give up the control
and trust in The. Lord and in the past four
years a lot has.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Happened, yeah very positive changes In justin's. Life it's. Outstanding
happy for. You we've also got Ben United States navy
And United States army veteran uh So wisconsin where it's
way too. Cold we've already established. That did you go
(09:31):
into The navy right out of high school or was?
Speaker 4 (09:33):
There, yeah we started the process WHILE i was a,
senior directly after nine to, eleven and then it.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Was a nine to eleven kind of a motivator for
that or not really quite a.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
Bit AND i wasn't sure about college at the. Time
that's the next best bat BEFORE i got in too much.
Trouble that can, happen you know that age. Happen no clear.
Direction why did you choose The? Navy, actually my grandfather
was Uh, navy SO i followed in his. Footsteps, really
he was In World War? Two, okay do you don't
(10:08):
know where he? SERVED i DON'T i know he was cook.
Nice he Was atlantic, side so he's east. Back he
never had any combat or any submarine problems.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Or anything like. That that's about ALL i. Know, yeah
he didn't talk much about.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
It shouldn't none of them ever. Did, yeah it wasn't
there a, thing all. Right so you served how four?
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Years four Years navy and THEN i got out AND
i was actually roughly nine months LATER i was recalled
by The, navy BUT i found out about The Bludha green.
PROGRAM i didn't want to go back because WHILE i
was in The, NAVY i was doing a lot of
(10:56):
search and seizures when we were In columbia and things like,
that drug, Raides SO i kind of wanted to stay
in them. Lines BUT i knew IF i went back
there just bring me back to be an elevator. Electrician
SO i switched to The, army which is blue to,
green and they made me a water purification.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Specialist that sounds. Fun oh, yeah that was.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Interesting.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
Yeah so where all were you? Deployed you Mentioned columbia
during The, Navy.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
SO i was, Golf, Iraq, Maraine, panama did a little
bit of Around, africa was never in, country and then
north Of South america in The, atlantic So, Columbia, cuba
and then we did a lot of search and seizure
in The gulf Of.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Mexico up, north doing the same thing in the. Right.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Uh, no In iraq weate part Of Assault, division so
we were deploying marines.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Music?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Gotcha, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah all, right, Okay and so
you were out a couple of years before you joined the.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Army, uh it was roughly roughly nine, MONTHS i can't.
Exactly and THEN i got the recall. Letter so THEN
i had another three month process of getting into The
army and a second boot, camp which is.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Wonderful you weren't as young the second. Time all. Right
did you feel the? DIFFERENCE i can. Imagine, YEAH i
was very.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Different.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Uh and where'd you deploy in The?
Speaker 4 (12:25):
ARMY i actually never deployed with. THEM i did help
with all their workups and things of that nature BECAUSE
i was only.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Doing one year. Contracts.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Gotcha and we were about to, deploy BUT i found
OUT i was having a little, girl SO i decided
not to extend my.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Contract that's WHEN i ended my military. Career got you?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Understood? Uh quickly a reminder ask everyone to get your phone,
out put this phone. NUMBER i get it in your
phone so you've got it when you need. It and
maybe you're not the one that needs, it but you
will come across somebody that needs, it so have in your.
Phone it's better to have something and not need it
than need it and not have. It so please put
this in your. Phone eight seven seven seven to one
(13:07):
seven seventy eight seventy. Three that is The Combat Trauma
Support line at THE Ptsd foundation Of, america answered twenty
four to seven by a combat, vet someone who's been
through our program and received a great deal of additional,
training or before they receive the opportunity to serve the
organization through the what we lovingly call THE bat. Phone
(13:29):
eight seven seven seven one SEVEN PTSDs eight seven seven
seven one seven seventy eight seventy. Three, again you never
know when you may come across a, veteran a family
member of a, veteran a friend of a veteran that,
knows somebody that's struggling and needs somebody that they can
talk to that actually, understands not a psych not someone
(13:50):
just reading answers off a, screen someone who's, deployed someone
who's been in, there someone who's, lost someone who's smelled it,
all seen it, all experienced it, all brought it home with,
them and then learned how to cope with that eight
seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy. Three the
website's ptsdusa dot org for all of the information about
(14:12):
not Only Camp, hope which is our interim housing. Program
we bring veterans in from all across the, country every
era of, combat every military, branch all the informations, there
all at zero cost to, you the family the, veteran zero.
Cost and in addition to, that we also have our
(14:33):
support groups that we run for combat, vets law, enforcement first,
responders contractors have been in those, groups and we also
run support groups for family. Members and that can be a,
family it can be, friend it can be even a,
neighbor just somebody that cares about someone who's struggling to
be a part of that support group and help get
informed about WHAT ptsd, is how it's showing up in
(14:57):
the behaviors of your love and your, friend and how
you can help support them in those moments of. CRISIS
ptsdusa dot. Org by the, way we've mentioned it a
couple of, times but here we are Next, saturday The
Crawfish bash down AND i think it's Basically Texas city Or.
(15:20):
Lamark maybe It's, lamark but it's what was called The
mall of The. Mainland it's right. There so many of
you ever have you ever gone To galveston From, Houston
you know where The mall of The mainland. Is but
there is a, major major crawfish. Event so this is
the one you do not want to. MISS i know
there's a lot of crawfish boils Around houston this time of.
(15:41):
Year this is the one you do not want to.
Miss there will be some sixty ish cook teams from
around noon to around. Six you can visit any or
all if you can eat that much crawfish that is
all you can eat for that say. HOURS i think
(16:01):
the wristbands right now are thirty. Bucks so you want
to go, online there will be a link on Our facebook.
Page just look For road To Hope radio On. Facebook
there will be a link there where you can buy
the risk. Band because it's less expensive to buy the
wristband before than it is to buy it. There plus
speeds things up once you get. There you get in
and by the, way there's a lot more than. Crawfish
(16:23):
there's an entire carnival going on for the. Kiddos so
it's a great family, environment a lot of fun for the.
Kids there's live music will be, there which who needs
crawfish will be. There oh, YEAH i mean just come see.
Us and the added bonus is you'll get to eat
some crawfish way. There it's, great but it's an all day.
(16:43):
Thing it's a lot of fun goes the party goes
on into the. NIGHT i leave before the party. Starts
i'll leave that to. Others but the crawfish, BASICALLY i
think it's noon to. Six they're serving the cook teams
and it's a lot of fun and supports a Great
Causets foundation Of america as well as a few other
small nonprofits that serve the children of the. Area so,
(17:06):
again if you go to The facebook Page road To
Hope radio On, facebook we'll have a link there and
click on that and get your wrist band and get
it taken care. Of all, right we are going to
those of you listening on the nine to. Five, oh
we're about to run to our bottom of the hour news.
Break after that we'll come. Back we'll hear a little
bit more about your time in the, Military, benning and
(17:28):
justin jump. In don't be quiet over, there jump on
in anytime you. Like and, again wherever you listen to,
podcasts just look For road To Hope. Radio we do
appreciate you subscribing and. Sharing you never know who might
hear it and need The. Hope it's being offered TODAY
ptsdusa dot. Org road To Hope. Radio wherever you listen to,
(17:49):
podcasts we'll be right back with More road To Hope
radio and were welcome you Back road To Hope. Radio
(18:11):
David malsby, here glad to have you. Along all, Right,
ben here's the question of the. Day are you ready
have crawlfish in wisconsinish.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
All lobsters and you all got mug bugs down?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Here we?
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Do, yeah we eat the claw meat on. Ours, okay all,
right very? Nice, yes makes. SENSE i like. IT i
presume you're a. CHEESEHEAD i.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Am.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
YEAH i was afraid of. THAT i almost didn't ask
BECAUSE i assumed you were going to say. Yes, well
we have to limit how many people we allow in
a Camp hope at any given. Time from the other
side Of Mason Dixon, lines it's, just you, know we
gotta limit. That SO i don't know where we're at
on the ratio right. Now do that barbecue up?
Speaker 2 (18:59):
There not really we.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Could i'm glad you don't even. Try that's that's the best.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
News we actually we steal it from everyone else and
make it just a little bit.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Better by putting cheese on. IT i don't know what's
what's In wisconsin that makes it. Better i'm not so
sure about all.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
That probably, not but we like to think so of.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
Course you, yeah stay, Pride it's all. Good uh uh.
Okay so join The navy four years out roughly nine
MONTHS ishu into the army three years combat a lot
of snaps and grab you talk, about and the drug
stuff and going on. There when did you clearly your camp?
(19:46):
Hope so you clearly there's SOME ptsd that's going on.
There so when did you first notice something was not
what it should?
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Be about three four years AFTER i got, out.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
After you got up that was, yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
YEP i went to THE va AND i got the
whole meds. Schedule at one point they had gone through
twenty seven different, ones and THEN i didn't like them no,
more AND i quit and ended up just kind of
burying it to the best of my ability with work
and ANYTHING i could.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Find what kind of work did you?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Do landscape?
Speaker 4 (20:23):
Designer, okay, ye my family has a pretty good sized garden.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Center that's WHAT i.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Did you'd enjoy the design, part.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, YEP a lot ate up a lot of. TIME
i can.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
IMAGINE i would think seeing a design come to life
would have to be really a pretty cool. Experience.
Speaker 4 (20:43):
Yeah it's from paper to actually be in. There it's
a lot of.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Joy, YEAH i can. Imagine so you obviously went home
after you got out of the. Military, YEP i went
back to. Hometown, okay so a few years, afterwards when
you begin to notice something's, up what was the tail
to signs for you?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
That, UH i have a lot of.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
SECLUSION i did start drinking pretty good at that, time
AND i went in. CYCLES i might stop AND i come.
Back i'd have some angry issues here and, there actually
quite a few, times but and a lot of, anxiety
a lot of. Depression just then feel LIKE i had
(21:24):
a real place. ANYMORE i was kind of making things
up AS i went, along try to fill a hole
that wasn't.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
There, sure that's way to put.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
It justin he, mentioned you know the twenty seven. Meds
did when you went to THE, va did they throw
a bunch of pills at? You or, yep that's the first.
Thing it's, like you go.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
THERE i was in the OEF oi of, clinic, Right
they have a lot of veterans come back to that go,
THROUGH i, know The HOUSTON.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Va that's how it. Is you go through the OEU
foi of. Clinic they talked to you and then they recommend,
it as you know the psych the psycle on the
sixth floor here In. Houston they recommend different type of.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
Meds AND i would get on the meds for a,
while and you, said drinking on the meds and you,
know self medicating at the same time trying to take
the meds at the VA's offering. You it just gets
very confusing and very hard to adapt, to like reality
and what's reality and what they're trying to get me to.
Do and it wasn't the real HELP i, NEEDED i
(22:28):
know that. Much and it really didn't. Work it started
just getting worse and worse BECAUSE i wasn't, stable you,
KNOW i didn't have a stable, place like you. SAID
i was still wondering What i'm supposed to do with
my purpose especially after the. Military you have so much
of a purpose in the military and then you lose
all of. That so, definitely i'all can understand where you're coming.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
From saving, yeah and this isn't to put anybody or anything,
down just want to hear your. Story in addition to the,
pills did they do anything? ELSE i, MEAN i, know,
OBVIOUSLY i know not everybody that. Was i'm just listening To.
DAVID i know you ended up. Homeless SO i just
did they do anything service, wise anything else of note
(23:10):
other than here's the, prescriptions, counseling that's. It just talk
to a, psychiatrist, doctor, psychiatrist and then how often did
they want you to do?
Speaker 5 (23:22):
That that was just to get the, medication to get the,
pills just to tell my little bit of my, story
and he wasn't really, Listening so that was like it
was just Like i've heard this.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Before here goes the. Pills was that every three months
or you don't even. REMEMBER i would.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
TRY i would try to go there as much AS
i needed, to but it was kind of like shining
away from going to THE va BECAUSE i wasn't REALLY
i wasn't really accepting what they were trying to do
far as just like you, said being the white coat
like a, doctor, right and it's not somebody that's been
through it like a.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
Clinicial you, know he's just.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
Trying he's just LIKE i think he was about to retire,
too so it make it even. Worse he was just,
like oh, GOD i was just saying.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Over, THERE i know you're not that like. That you've
got a lot of energy compared To oh, man you're
not as old as, him but you're definitely not in the.
Heart yeah too. Late you got a.
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Young spirit That i'm there with you all all the
way to to the.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
End and this isn't, again this isn't too it's not
the VA's. Fault it's one about to. Mention but that's
kind of the the problem of going at it strictly
from the clinical, view because you're handing a guy who's
struggling with his mental. Health here's here's a cocktail of.
(24:46):
Pills uh, well first of, all can you even trust, him,
right because they're mentally not. Well but here's a whole
bunch of pills that all have serious side, effects not
only mental side, effects but it's gonna affect all your major.
Organs when you're taking all that kind of. Medication, yeah
and so just out there on your, own especially once
(25:10):
you reach the place where you're, homeless and, like, man
that's just a, toxic toxic. Situation, benny was any different
for you when they gave you the? Pills did they
offer any other assistance or.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
No no other.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
Assistance what was different from me Was i'm so far
north In wisconsin that all of our stuff was done
through just the video, calls so they could send me
to any psych. Anywhere at one, POINT i had three
different at the same, time and they weren't communicating with each, other.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
SO i was getting three doses of Different.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
Now there's a STORY i haven't heard, before Justin i've
never heard that one a little.
Speaker 4 (25:50):
Different they were tracking. It and WHEN i SAY i
didn't care about, nothing what's?
Speaker 2 (25:54):
EVERYTHING i. Was was this BEFORE, Covid, yeah long.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Before so it WASN'T covid.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Driven, no it's twenty distance.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Driven which is a part of the problem with THE
vas also had for a, while you, know and a
few years ago there was some effort made In congress
to try to fix it to a, degree AND i
think it helped a little. Bit but they just have
a lot further than they need to take. It but
this whole idea of. Uh for, instance you could live
in let's Say, Cyprus, texas and if you had an
(26:32):
eight thirty appointment at THE vau mean you would have
to if you had a, CAR i, mean you would
have to leave probably about six thirty to get through
traffic get to the. Hospital then it's going to take
you twenty five or thirty minutes to find a place to.
Park if you're familiar with The BAKER va at, all
it is notorious for parking. Issues and so the question, was,
(26:55):
well why are you driving past literally probably fifty to
seventy pharmacies to go get your prescription filled at THE
va when you could get it, filled you, know three
minute walk or a five minute. Drive and that was
(27:16):
part of the. Problem so they had you on three
different doctors at the same time and none of them.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
Talking none'm talking to each, other, Right and, yeah they're
all three of. Them only one of them had me
on two medications and the other ones had me three to.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Four SO i was TAKING.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
I, Mean i'd have a full rack with those, weekdays
AND i was taking the whole rack for the. Day
WHEN i SAY i didn't care about. ANYTHING i didn't care.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
About, nothing, Right and getting back to the problem THAT
i just mentioned that they're handing out medication but there's
no oversight and how could THEY i, mean you're, living you, know.
Wherever so Again i'm not blaming, Them i'm just saying
it's a problem that has to be figured out because
they're they're putting, guys they're teen guys up for, failure
(28:01):
that's what they're. Doing like.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
It it took me to a point after we finally
figured out what was going on THAT i had done
some pretty bad things just because it's like the sense
of caring about anything other THAN i, mean not even really.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Myself at the.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
TIME i don't want to feel that way, again SO
i do EVERYTHING i can to stay away from.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Medication, yeah, WELL ptsd alone can do, that just shutting
down the filter in the, brain like there's no right or,
wrong it's just shut. Down then you throw in the,
cocktail make some, meds and especially if you're adding alcohol to,
it like there's a there's a recipe for. Failure all,
right we're gonna take a quick. Break we'll be right
(28:42):
back with more Of road To. Hope radio got Justin,
Benny we'll be right back and we welcome you Back
(29:12):
road To Hope. Radio all, Right, so, uh basically seven
is years in the. MILITARY a few years, later four years,
later you start realizing there's some issues going on and
go to the, a start the medication, thing get tired of,
that and just completely go off the, meds, right is that?
(29:33):
Right all? Right so that was a while. Ago.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Yeah when did you arrive At Camp?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Hope uh The december thirtieth this year or, no last?
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Year, YEAH i got that's a lot of time in.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
Between, yeah, YEAH I I i bury everything was as
much work AS i possibly, could just to have something
else to worry. About then WHAT i should have been worrying,
ABOUT i guess is the best WAY i can put.
(30:14):
That if it had to do with, WORK i could
go to social, Interactions but if it, DIDN'T i didn't want.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
To have anything to do with. Them.
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Really i'd usually be, camping, hunting and fishing by myself
IF i. Could but after a WHILE i even lost
interest in. That.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yeah ONCE i started stop doing, THAT i knew there
was no.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Problem, yeah that's my. Passion, sure, yeah, Yeah well we
want you to get it.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Back, oh, yeah working on.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
It give me a story of an overview of what
led you, to you, know realizing you needed something Like
Camp hope where THEY i mean just you needed help
and how did you hear about? Us just kind of
walked me through that a little.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
Bit, well it's it's actually so in. BETWEEN i had
been trying to actually seek help Because i've known there's a,
problem But i've been denied so many times for different
reasons and whatnot insurances or not qualifying or not having a.
DIAGNOSIS i believe it was me and my Girl. Chris
(31:27):
we started researching in all kinds of places and she
Found Camp. Hope and there's the first ones to, say.
Yakamon yeah it was the first time hearing, That SO
i didn't hesitate AND i was on a planet on
the way.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Here, yeah interesting. Timing just simhear the thirtieth, Like, OKAY
i got, IT i understand been. Here so you've been
here four and a half ish. Months how are we.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
Doing i'm doing a lot better THAN i. Was i'm
starting to design baits. Again in my off time at.
CAMP i really.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Want to go. Fishing that's driving me.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
CRAZY i was gonna say that we might be able
to fix. That we might be able to do something
about that. One, yeah that's coming up right. Again, HEY
i don't want to mess up the name of the.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Event, yeah M i don't Want warriors.
Speaker 3 (32:31):
Weekend, yeah it's just talk about some of, it but
think about crawfish and then, Yeah warriors weekend is coming, Up,
Yes wars. Weekend, yeah you able to go down The
mexico or go For american it's water and go fishing
off the banks of uh Of. Texas so you're gonna
(32:54):
you're gonna have a great. Time it's a great. Weekend.
Yeah you make sure that you don't miss that. Bus,
uh you'll be treated. Cruelty it's, truly it's an amazing.
Weekend uh they do they just they treat everybody so
great on. Those so hopefully you get to go fishing
here real, quick what's changed for? You what's what's the
different in your?
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Mindset the counselors that can't hope have been absolutely.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Amazing they no.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
Meds we've just been working through different things and we
started new saying called cognitive, therapy Which i've never experienced,
before which has been huge because one of my biggest
problem with avoidance starting to learn that and get things.
Out not having an hour twice a week to do
it is Something i've never had. Before it's helping a
(33:46):
lot good group of guys THAT i. Have we do
a lot of warrior groups even within the house ourselves
plus the warrior groups that.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
That's the peer to peer. Thing, man it, Works it, helps,
works it works afterwards, too if you just stay in
contact with the. Guy that's one of the beautiful things
About Camp hope, is, uh you, know everybody come from
different places and different, experiences in different, backgrounds but all
(34:17):
the shared experience of you, know trauma while in the.
Military so there's that shared experience that draws everybody. Together
but there's this whole bunch of strangers from all across
the country at all different age, ages age, ranges, goodness
but they become friends for life, afterwards AND i love
(34:40):
seeing that take. PLACE i just think that's one of
the coolest parts About Camp. Hope this is just you,
know we talk about side effects for. Pills this is
a side effect From Camp. Hope you've got a lot
of brothers out.
Speaker 5 (34:53):
There WHEN i first got The Camp, HOPE i didn't
realize how like.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
How bad it was for me BECAUSE i.
Speaker 5 (35:02):
WAS i got there and it was they just went
straight to the warrior group or straight to the. Conflicts
it was, conflicts AND i you, KNOW i heard everything
that goes along in, conflicts. Right and then, AFTERWARDS i
mean they were all coming at each other like this
and that and just kind of trying to figure things.
Out and then afterwards it was like giving hugs and
(35:22):
SAYING i love.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
You AND i hadn't had that in a.
Speaker 5 (35:25):
Long, time to be honest with, you like hugs and
someone tell me THAT i.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
Love, you and you, know it's like, okay, yeah, right
where my? At, yes what's going on? Here?
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Yeah it.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Worked it wore on me real. Quick, yeah you, know
AND i.
Speaker 5 (35:38):
Still do that to this, day just tell PEOPLE i
love them AND i care for them and love like
they say in The, bible, right love is the.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Key do you remember the first step four that you
heard of?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Camp, YEAH i put me in. Tears it was.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Interesting helps guys realize one that they're not as unique
as that's all they were, Like i'm the only ones. Ever, yeah,
no you're not stand in. Line but you, know back
to the whole cognitive, therapy it's like it's huge it's absolutely,
huge and, yes it's forcing you to dig down into
all those corner recesses where we've packed junk away and
(36:16):
wanted to leave it, there and forced to not only
bring it out, there but to tell the tell the whole.
Room but everyone in the room gets.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
It that was a.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
Big thing WHY I i had said avoidance, earlier IS
i started, avoiding you know WHAT i had going, on
especially because trying to talk with people back home about
things THAT i had done or combat That i've, seen
they just want to grass the. Concept within the first
week or two of being In Camp, hope it was
(36:50):
back to having conversations with the same guys as me,
is and we talk a very different. Lango when it's
just us. There we have a humor that a lot
people don't understand and the things that we started laughing
about immediately WHEN i got in, there it was like
all right back to normal for a little bit, here
started figuring things, out and it's working doing what it.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
Said it's going to any trauma related and it doesn't
matter what it. Is but any trauma related, groups the
humor can get really, dark really really, dark and it
doesn't matter what the trauma. Is it can get really,
dark really. Fast but, YES i. Understand hey, man happy
for the progress that you've. Made just keep doing, it
(37:37):
keep doing the, work keep, learning keep working through the,
frustration the, doubts the, fears just keep working through. It,
definitely you got a good guy sitting next to. You
it's got a. Story. Man if you haven't heard, it
making tell it to you on the way, back because
it's proof that stick with. It absolutely life. Changing absolutely
life changes up to. You what you do with it all. Right, again,
(38:00):
reminder wherever you listen to, podcasts just look For road
To Hope. Radio we like The iHeartRadio. App it's. Free
we're sitting In iHeart studios right now as we do.
This but wherever you listen to, podcasts just look For
road To Hope radio and we will greatly say thank
you for not only, listening but subscribing and sharing those.
(38:22):
Podcasts there's a lot of, stories a lot of. Hope
and by the, way it may not necessarily be combat
related trauma that to you or someone you, know LUs
the stories can still bring hope and. Inspiration road To
Hope radio thank you for. Listening look forward to being
with you again next week for more Of road To
hope radio
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