Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Multiple people in my family clean my father are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The troops that have been to war and now they're
back and think and be grateful for their service.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all that they
do for us.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
We forget that those people exist. We know them as
the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. They
call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil dogs, and
so much more. We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters,
(00:47):
sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These
veterans answered the call. Now we answer Theirs are the
best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today,
we honor them and we serve them. David Malsby is
(01:13):
your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans,
as together we are building the road to hope.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
And indeed we are glad to have you along.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
On a Sunday afternoon, the k p RC the ninety
five oh on the AM dial, thank you for joining
us as you as you circle endlessly on Luke six
' ten or the the Beltway or the ninety nine,
whichever one you care to circle on the most. Thank
you for joining us. Those of you listening to us
through the magic of podcasts, Thank you so very much
(01:45):
for listening. Wherever you listen to podcasts, just look for
Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
There we are.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
We got eight and a half years I think of
shows something like that on there, so lots and lots
of lots of lots of hope to share it, and
it's absolutely free. You never know who might come into
the awareness of the organization. What we do with the
PTSD Foundation of America and Camp Hope, or our Warrior groups,
(02:12):
our family support groups. All of that, by the way,
is at zero cost to the veteran or their family
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(02:35):
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Speaker 2 (02:44):
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Subscribing and sharing liberally. We appreciate it immensely. Big thank
you to our show sponsors allow us this opportunity each
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So, uh yeah, you waited too long. Don't go to
them all? Don't do that?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
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better than Republic Ranch Republic Grand Ranch dot com, longtime
supporters of the PTSD Foundation of America and Camp Hope.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
We love these people.
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Awesome folks, the right values, the right location, the right price.
Republic Grand Ranch dot Com. Couple of veterans in the
studio with us today. We're glad to have you back. Andrew,
want to reintroduce yourself to the world.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Yeah, So my name is Andrew. I'm a Navy veteran.
I'm a graduate of the Camp Hop program and I'm
currently a mentor within the Foundation, and I'd like to
thank you for having me here.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
We're glad to have you back.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
And if I have time, I'll go back and find
you were on not too long ago, a month or
so ago, and shared a little bit of your story
about how you got here.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
And it's a really unique story.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Yes, I love it, so I won't ask you to
do that again today, but I'll try to find that
and post that. By the way, follow us on Facebook
just Road to Hope Radio. We share some events that
are coming up for the PTSD Foundation of America, and
we also will share some.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Veteran related stories.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
But if I can find that show, I'll put that
on our Facebook page because it's a great story of
how you found your way to.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Camp Hope.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
It's a great, great story also with us. Todd, want
to introduce yourself.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Yeah, my name is Michael Todd Elliott. I go by Todd.
I'm a resident right now at Camp Hope.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And you are from the Marine Corps veteran from from Katie,
so not too far away from here from justin you
could almost I mean you could, but I wouldn't buyse it.
So you could almost walk there in here, but I
wouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Don't do it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
It tend gets a little crazy on a rare occasion,
like every day.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Uh but yeah, okay, And you deployed where.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
I went to Iraq and then was on a mew
that went to several different places. When you were when
in two thousand and four, it was during the second
invasion of Flusia, Operation Phantom Fury.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Yeah, I have a good friend that died as a
result of some wounds from Fallujah in that second attack. Anyway,
glad to have you in the show. How long you've
been at Camp.
Speaker 6 (06:19):
By the way, about three months?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Okay, Yeah, all right, So we'll talk a little bit
about that So were you born and raised in Katie.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
I was born in Lansing, Michigan. Moved to Katie when
I was about one years old.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Okay, well then you get grace, Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
Thank you. Yeah, I consider myself a Texan.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
We can only allow a certain number of folks from
the northern parts of the country at a particular time.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
We have to kind of ration that.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
One of the things I think one of the great things,
and don't talk about this all the time, one of
the great things about what we do at Camp Hope
bringing in veterans from all across the country, but we
bring them in from every era of war, every military
branch that we don't have Space Force representative. We haven't
quite got anyone from that yet.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I'm sure it's coming. I'm sure it happens someday.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
But yeah, like there can only let a certain number
of people from up north end of the time, but
we're gonna let We'll count you as a Texan.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Okay, I appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yes, Uh so high school experience anything great, creative, just
like star quarterback.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
No, I mean, growing up in Katie, they have a
huge well, Texas in general is huge on football and Katie,
But I didn't. I didn't dabble in football. I did
a lot of skating. I grew up on a little
crew all right. And we traveled around in Austin, San Antonio. Here,
Oh cool, shot a few videos.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
We'll have to check that out. All We got to
take a quick break. We'll be right back in just
a moment. More of Road to Hope.
Speaker 6 (07:55):
Rate you.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Andrew.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
You a skater, road BMX bikes for most of my childhood.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
You're a bike guy.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Bike Teddy actually convinced me to buy a road bikes
so me and him go ride on the weekends.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Now I've seen a little bit of that.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
He always posts awesome yeah about some of his rides.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Never thought I would do it, but it's nice getting
out back in the nature, and he did. We did
a twenty six mile ride last on Sunday, which was
pretty fun.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
And again, you know when we talk about Camp Hope
and what goes on there a lot of times, and
we will today too, talk about stories a little bit
about you know what happened or you know your deployment,
and we don't we're not the worst story thing, but
we'll talk a little bit about that and we talk
a little bit about what brought someone to Camp Hope,
why they needed it, But one of the beautiful things
about Camp Hope that we rarely really touch on is,
(09:05):
you know, I feel like, in many ways the luckiest
man in the world, just because I get to experience
firsthand a lot of some true redemption stories, tremendous life
trajectory change, and those are the kinds of things we
(09:28):
typically talk about on this show. But one of the
just beautiful things that happens is you get to meet
some of the most amazing people in the world, and yes,
certainly in our veteran population. And you know, when you
say Fallujah and the common the common person, the common
(09:48):
civilian out there, they've heard of Fallujah, so you know,
some bad stuff went down there. There's a lot of
other places that some bad stuff went down to but
didn't make the news.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
But if it made the news, you know it was rough.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
So you hear some of those stories, and you meet
some of those people and you realize and recognize what
they did, what they had to do. But then also
just the people you meet and going about the day
to day work of our programs, and one of the
things I love to see is you mentioned Teddy and
(10:21):
you guys doing the bike thing like you had never
met Teddy, right, I mean, there would have been no
reason to meet him if it weren't for Camp Hope
and just to see you know, years later Teddy came through, man,
I mean probably ten years ago. It's been a minute.
(10:45):
You came through, graduated in twenty two.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
The first time. I arrived in twenty twenty, graduated in
twenty one, and then I came back through the program
in twenty.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Two, twenty two, So I mean that's probably eight years
after Teddy came through. I mean, it was literally that
long ago and he came through and now both of
you on staff. But you know, just that camaraderie, the friendship.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I just love those stories.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I just I think that's the coolest thing in the
world because everybody needs that, and that's what It's one
of the big things we do at Camp's peer to peer.
But we always teach you can't stop doing what you've
learned to do at Camp Hope when you leave Camp Hope.
So maintaining some sort of friendship relationship like that's just
(11:35):
it's cool on a thousand levels. But it's also important
to maintaining the positive change in your lives. So it's
cool to see. I like it when you guys post
that stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Look at those idiots out there right and that bike
for four hundred hours.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
He convinced me to buy some some like Spandex and
all of that get up.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
You did it right to go ally.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
If you're gonna do it right, this is the way
you do it is okay. So skating was your thing,
all right, So you traveled, So what what what? I'm
not familiar with the skating world. So is that like
some sort of a team and in competition type deal.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
No, I was never like sponsored or in competitions. It
was just a group of us that from around the
Houston area that would get together a lot and go
skating in the street or at the time, they had
a huge skate park, Vanced skate park here in Houston.
It's not here anymore, but we would go there a
lot and uh and and and skate.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
And then eventually it got big enough to where we
you know, we got old enough that we had our
own cars and then we'd take weekend trips to you know, Austin,
San Antonio. Got kicked out of the Capitol in Austin
for skating and jumping out.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
They didn't they didn't care for that.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
Yeah, no, not too much.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I wonder.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
How in the world, what's what's wrong with that? It
is public property, right, Okay? Uh did you join the
Did you join the Marine Corps right out of high school?
Speaker 6 (13:10):
Or yeah? I joined right out of high school.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
I was not the best student, graduated somewhere in the
bottom of my class. I didn't have an idea of
what I wanted to do, and I joined because the
recruiter bought me Burger King. So well, your price was low, yeah,
Burger King. It could have been at least been Waterberg.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
I had no thoughts of joining.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
No one in my family was in and uh yeah
he uh picked me up one day and there's a
Burger King in the same pocket parking lot.
Speaker 6 (13:40):
Bought me a whopper and I said, okay, Jeff.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Forgetting Yeah, getting in a car with strangers. Let's see
what happens. Burger King Marine Corps IRAQ.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, what year did you join?
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Two thousand and two?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Oh too?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yeah, okay, So it had to dawn on you. This
is going to end me going someplace that really don't
want to go.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Yeah, I mean it was a thought, but that's all
it spoke. Yeah, I mean that was my mindset back then.
I was and still now A lot is just going
with the flow and I guess just really being in
the day that I'm in.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah, yeah, seventeen ish yep, yeah, yeah, well you know,
not the first person at seventeen to not really think
long term. Yeah, on some decisions life decisions like.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
That turned into a twelve year career.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Well, you know that's something to be said for that.
I mean you turn and look at like that's pretty
pretty awesome.
Speaker 6 (14:38):
Yeah, yeah, I enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Burger King should probably turn that into some kind of
a promo. I mean, we got to be able to
make some sort of a deal with Burger King on that.
Come on, guys, you got a guy off to Iraq
and Flujah for that. For a Burger King, it's got
to be for something, all right. So what were you
(15:02):
doing in a right? What was your day to day?
Speaker 5 (15:04):
I was in communications, Actually I was data side six
fifty six. Most didn't even exist anymore and most of
the time, like we went to haditha Dam. We were
there for about three months, and then I was also
at a little place asp Wolf with Bravo Company. I
was a first Battalion, eighth Marines. Stayed there for a
(15:30):
bit and then Flujah kicked off and they put me
on ECP duty and QRF team.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Okay for someone driving around six ' ten right now
that those letters mean nothing to them, help them understand
what you were doing.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Well ECP, Well, my main job when I was there
was wiring up a lot of the buildings. The dam
in particular, it had no power, so and I was
the only non NCO. I was the worker in the group.
There's only four of us there, and I just wired
up the whole damn with Cat five data, set up
(16:08):
the servers, program the routers, the servers are switches, everything
to get it going in there.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
And then.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
When Fallujah kicked off, yeah, I got put on Entry
Control Point duty, which was just maintaining the INTR control
points to Camp Fallujah, the main base. And then on
our off time that was I think we did sixteen
hours of watch and then the rest of our time
was for sleeping and then stand by QRF, which you
(16:42):
know I got called out a couple times for that.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
You mentioned you were the worker. I just in my mind.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I just conjured out the image of a road work crew,
one guy working in four or five guys standing around
overseeing the one guy working.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
It's just what pops up in my.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Brain before we run to the news break on the
nine to five O. Those listening through the radio, a
reminder PTSD post traumatic stress disorder PTSD USA dot org
is the website you can find out all the information
regarding Camp Hope, the interim housing program for our combat vets,
(17:19):
as well as our warrior support groups, our family support
groups which by the way, and our warrior groups online.
There are also first responders, law enforcement contractors. It's not
just constricted only to combat related PTSD, so ptsdusa dot
(17:40):
org for all that information, all of it again at
zero cost to the veteran or to their family. Check
it out. We'd love to have you join up in
one of our groups. We right back with more of
Road to Hope Radio, you know indeed, and we welcome
(18:09):
back Rode to Hope Radio.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Glad to have you long.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
David Malsby here, big thank you to our friends. iHeart
Houston Media. Not only do they work with us to
allow us this opportunity to have this show every Sunday afternoon.
But they do a lot of a lot of airtime
for us throughout the week on several of their stations
(18:33):
here in the Houston area, to the tune of over
I think last year was over two hundred thousand dollars
of donated airtime to the foundation. We cannot think them, literally,
cannot think them enough. The awareness deal. Our thing is,
we cannot afford to be the best kept secret down.
(18:55):
We are still losing, according to research, up to forty
four veterans every every single day to their own hands.
That could be suicide, it can be overdoses. Whichever, all
those forty four are preventable, and whatever you happen to
believe the number is, we all agree that the number
is way, way too high and we have to do
(19:17):
everything we can to lower that number. And part of
that is just letting veterans their families know that they
have the awareness that we are here and it's not gonna,
you know, bankrupt them to do our program. So big,
big thank you to our awesome, awesome friends here. iHeartMedia
(19:39):
Houston been such great friends for so many years now
and we are forever indebted to them for their support.
All Right, So you joined in O two. You said
you were in for twelve Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Was Iraq your first employment? Yes?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Okay, Then you mentioned you had several other views. Obviously
because since you're at Camp Hope. There's a mental health issue,
mental health diagnosis. As you look at it today and
you look back on your time in the military and
(20:18):
in combat situations, when did you begin to notice And
you may not have noticed them, but as you look back,
when did things begin to happen for you the mental
illness side.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Looking back at it, I I mean I noticed right
away when I got back from my rack, spending time
on leave, you know, with my wife at the time
and family, like loud noises would startle me. I remember
one time walking in the mall and I don't know
what caused the noise, but it almost caused me to
(20:54):
hit the floor, you know, drop to the ground. I
was always pacing at night, peeking out the blinds at night,
looking out the windows, always feeling like there was impending
doom just around the corner. But I felt like it
kind of went away after a bit, and then it
(21:14):
wasn't until I got out of the Marine Corps that
it really started hitting me hard, like depression and the
anxiety and then the self isolation. Was My biggest thing
that came out of having PTSD was I eventually ended
up pulling away from everyone really, family, friends, my wife,
(21:36):
my son, I held your boy.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
I have two sons, ones twenty and the others thirteen.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Okay, So as you start realizing these symptoms, and I know,
I just don't know your store of it. I know,
having talked to a lot of guys, when something like
that happens you mentioned at the story at the mall,
when there's that visible physical reaction, there's the obvious of
(22:10):
just that, but there's also the resulting. It's embarrassing for
you know, you don't want your family to see that,
you don't want people to view you that way.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Were you dealing with some of that?
Speaker 5 (22:28):
I don't think I was ever feeling embarrassed when that
kind of thing happened. It was more of a rush
of you know, anxiety over my body really just not
wanting to be in that place or situation, you know,
which I think self isolation is.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
You know, where it.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Led to or where I thought I would be safe,
you know, or wouldn't hurt anybody you know, or be hurt.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
Yeah, what did you do.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
To try to cope with all that or to mitigate that?
Speaker 6 (22:59):
I tried, you know, group therapy with my ex wife.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Was that at the VA.
Speaker 6 (23:08):
No, this is.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Actually when I when I got out, I moved to Canada.
My wife was Canadian, or is Canadian. My ex wife's Canadian.
We moved up to northern BC. And you know, I,
I was starting to get in a place where we
weren't communicating at all. I was kind of a stone,
a statue, and I it was making it rough for her,
(23:33):
rough for us to even have a relationship. And I
had gone through you know, five or six jobs while
I was there, getting fired from some, quit from some Uh,
just did not want to really do a thing, not talk,
not get up from the couch, just be isolated by myself.
(23:56):
But yeah, I went. We we got counseling. Ultimately, it
didn't it didn't work out. It didn't stick, which led
to us separating and then you know it, it we
were still on good terms, we still loved each other
really much, very much, and I made the decision to
(24:16):
move back here so I could start getting help through
the VA. Uh and uh, yeah, it took me five
years to get to Camp Hope when I moved back here,
going to the VA, and little spurts like, yeah, I
was going to the KDVA. Yeah, and really I was
(24:37):
going in when I was having pretty much like a
mental breakdown. You know where I was living. Uh, I
was with a buddy and I was just I was.
I was living in the backyard a lot in a
in a hammock and cooking out of a fire pit
I made from from bricks, and uh, yeah, I would
some days it would get so bad that you know,
(24:58):
I I'd be crying, I'd be able to function, hardly walk.
And those were the days where I'd make myself over
to the VA and they'd check me out and eventually
they told me you might want to look into Camp Hope.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Is that how you heard about us?
Speaker 5 (25:13):
I did, Yeah, through my therapist, having a one on
one with her.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
By the way, as we mention these stories and go
through these stories, we understand these things can be triggers
to you. You can see the effect on the other
people as they hear these stories. We have a combat
Trauma Crisis line eight seven seven seven one seven seventy
eight seventy three. I'll give you a number. Again, I
(25:40):
wish everybody would put this number in their phone. You
never know when you might come across someone who really
could use the connection. Eight seven seven seven one seven
seventy eight seventy three. It is answered twenty four to
seven by a combat veteran. And I cannot over emphasize
that for those of you are not veterans and like,
(26:01):
this isn't for me.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
If when you.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Tell somebody about the number and hand the phone and
say just here, just call them and tell them let
them know a combat that's going to answer the phone,
that will completely change their willingness to uh to make
that call. Eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight
seventy three. All right, So did they when they're when
(26:29):
you were going back to them? However often with those
serious issues, those days where it got really rough, did
they diagnose you at the time or.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
I was eventually diagnosed by the uh.
Speaker 5 (26:43):
By the therapist I was speaking to okay, or the
psychiatrist I was speaking to you.
Speaker 6 (26:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Did they set up any kind of regular appointments with
them or just encourage you to check out camp?
Speaker 5 (26:55):
Hope?
Speaker 6 (26:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:56):
It turned into regular uh like uh skype or over
the computer?
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (27:05):
Appointments.
Speaker 5 (27:06):
It was.
Speaker 6 (27:07):
It was once a month that I was doing that.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Okay, what I.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Mean, And everybody's different, So I'm just curious, Skype, did
that work for you or no?
Speaker 6 (27:19):
Not?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I mean technologically it did, but I mean did it help.
Speaker 6 (27:22):
No, I'd say it's for me.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
I I need the personal approach of being physically present
with someone, you know, whether it be in group or
one on one, you know, not not over the computer.
I mean I have I haven't even own a cell
phone in ten years, you know, I'm not. I I
like to stay away. I like to stay away from
(27:47):
it as much as I can.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
On the way over the Yeah, all.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Right, we got to take all the sleep we got
a minutes ago.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
I can't read my clock or I can't read my clock.
I just don't know how much time with it.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Just to reminder ptsd USA dot org and the phone
number eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy
three on Facebook Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I'm glad that with therapists.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
I guess at the VA you were talking to mentioned
Camp Hope to you when they first mentioned that. What
what was your thought?
Speaker 5 (28:23):
I thought, I don't I don't think I will do this.
You know, it's nice, nice that they gave me this information.
It wasn't the only place they gave me. There was
three or four different places, and honestly, Camp Hope wasn't
my first choice. I can't remember the name of the
first choice I had. But they never reached back out
(28:45):
and contacted me.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
And uh, okay, we're going to take the break now
we'll come back. I want to hear why you ended
up choosing to h to check out Camp Hope.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I'm going to take a quick break.
Speaker 6 (28:57):
We ride back with more of Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Straight down, and we welcome you back Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Thank you again for listening.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Wherever you've listened to podcasts, let's look for Road to
Hope Radio. We really do appreciate it when you hit
that little subscribe button.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
You downloads to your.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
App for absolutely no charge. It's free and it's free
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the show that you never know who might hear about
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talk help change their life. So thank you for subscribing
(29:50):
thank you for sharing.
Speaker 6 (29:52):
Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Okay, Todd, So you mentioned the service mentioned a couple
of places to you. Camp Hope wasn't the first thought
on your mind, the first choice, So I guess I
should say, Uh, was there a reason like.
Speaker 6 (30:12):
Not there not Camp Hope?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Right?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (30:16):
Yeah, I saw that it was you know, Christian based
faith program, and you know I'm not Christians.
Speaker 6 (30:27):
So that is what threw me off a bit.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
You know, at one point I was, but now I'm seeking,
I guess my own path, trying to figure things out spiritually.
Speaker 6 (30:39):
So yeah, that that was.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
My main deterrence was all you know, I'm going to
be flooded by uh, you know, prayer circles and and and.
Speaker 6 (30:51):
Preaching the whole time there.
Speaker 5 (30:52):
And yeah, so that that's what made me stray away
from it. But it was my second choice. It was
because it was on the list, is second on the list.
So I just went bout down that list, and as
soon as I called Camp Hope, you know, someone was
there to answer and right there willing to accept me
(31:14):
in the program. So that's where that's where it went.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
And I think it's important to share with folks. Yes,
we are as an organization a couple of things unashamedly
peer to peer as our DNA, the christ centered faith
based aspect of our program. We believe it is very
critical to what we do and what separates us and
(31:42):
helps us be more effective at what we do.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
With that said, I.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Always tell people you don't have to agree with what
I think or anybody else thinks.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
You don't.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
That's that's not it. That's not what it's about. There's
not some creed you have to agree to or sign
or like.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I believe this.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
I don't believe that you don't have to believe anything.
I mean people who claim to be agnostic or atheist
or whatever. We've had a little bit of everything comes
through our doors. And so yes, while that is, you know,
part of who we are, an important part of who
we are, it's not an exclusionary thing, at least from
our point of view.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
And I've.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
For me when I hear you say that, it actually
it excites me in a way. There's nothing more important
than in my view, than your your faith and where
you place your faith, in whom you place your faith.
(32:44):
So it should be wrestled with right. It shouldn't just
be well somebody said, so, so that's it. It encourages
me when I hear you guys like I'm I'm checking,
I'm in endeavoring to come to some sort of a
here's where i'm at, here's where I need to be,
and here's where I want to go.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
That just that makes me happy, Like at least you
haven't just rolled over and said I'm out. I'm glad
you're doing that. That that that thrills me, That makes
me happy. But so you've been at camp for three
ish months. Three months, okay, So that means you came
through the holidays, which is always crazy.
Speaker 6 (33:30):
Very active.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
There's a lot going on during the holidays.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
And it's all good stuff, but it is also there's
no way around it. It's also a bit distracting from
what you're trying to do in the program because there's
just so many things that happen. And again they're all
good things, but yeah, there's a lot that goes on. Yea,
now we've come through January, we're already second weekendo February.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Now, what's what's changing.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
In your mind? What's the way you approach a new day,
the way you feel when you wake up in the morning,
What what's changing for you?
Speaker 5 (34:12):
I will say that I've never noticed how much spiritual
faith is is extraordinarily powerful in someone's life, and I'm
I'm really leaning into figuring that out for myself. I'm
(34:36):
you know, meditating now and ah, just waking up and
and being thankful that I'm able to wake up and
breathe and live.
Speaker 6 (34:53):
Every day and.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
And and learning how to love myself is a big one,
you know, since I've been here.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
And it's probably an unfair question, but I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Ask it anyway. As you said, you've you've you.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Came through the second time, graduated back in twenty twenty two,
so it's been a few years now, so you got
a little distance in between.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
Yes, sir h.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
When you look back on.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Camp, your time there as someone in the program, can
you point to one thing? I'm sure it's a thousand
and one things. Can you point to one thing, like
if the only thing I got was this, This changed
my life, This helped me, This turned me in a
(35:44):
better direction.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
I would say, where I'm at today, obviously I have
to put my faith on the top. That is the
most important thing that I've gotten out of the program.
Which I didn't have in the beginning, you know, coming
into the program in a very dark, dark place.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Which is typical.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I guess, yeah, you know it's I would I mean,
from my point of view, it seems typical.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
And immediately secondary to that would be the sense of
connection and family that I've developed through this program, both
with you know, the the guys that I went through
with that I'm still connected to today, but also the
guys that I now work with. Like it's it's become
the family that I never had and you know kind
(36:31):
of taught allude to with the the the the self
isolation that was a big problem for me, and you know,
I just really didn't want to be around people for
a long time, and I was okay with that, but
I don't have that today.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Like I look forward to to.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
Doing things with people and and just really being connected
on a level that I never thought I could have
ever had.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Andrew you mentioned or Todd you mentioned, Uh, what you're
learning and what's changing for you? Decided it's a new day.
Speaker 6 (37:05):
You're alive.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
You know, new opportunities in front of you, and you're
I don't know where you're at in the program doesn't
matter but three months it's in. You've been around long
enough that some things are changing, you are learning some things.
I'm guessing you're not yet in the phase of the
program where you're really starting to look forward. So this
is probably also not a fair question. But today, sitting
(37:31):
here in the studio, when you think of whenever you
do graduate, whatever that ends up being whatever month doesn't
really matter. But once you're there and you've seen graduations,
now you've seen guys get up there and you know,
say whatever they're going to say, sometimes funny, sometimes serious,
and sometimes crying and sometimes laughing. But when you stand
(37:53):
there and graduate, and then you go forward in your life,
what's something you want to have, Something you want to
look forward to, something you want to aspire to going forward.
Speaker 6 (38:09):
What I'd like to have is.
Speaker 5 (38:15):
Or to keep, is that sense of adventure and to
really dive into it. You know, I don't ever want
to own a home, but I would like to own
a vehicle that I can turn into or I should
say I don't want to own a house.
Speaker 6 (38:30):
I'd like to own a vehicle and.
Speaker 5 (38:31):
Turn it into my home again, try it and then
you know, live like a vegabond, or you know, what
I mean, like travel, go searching across the country.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
You know there's a lot to see.
Speaker 6 (38:42):
A sprinter van, put some solar on the top.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
There you go.
Speaker 6 (38:45):
Absolutely And now.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
I used to drive a lot, not quite to that extent,
but you just drive the country a lot.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Those are my younger days. We are out of time.
I hate this.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
This clock runs so fast every time. Thank you for
being here man, Thank you for what you're doing. Thanks
for sharing a little story and you're always great to
see you. Thanks for doing you what you do, Camp Hope.
Thank you for joining us. Look forward to being with you.
Gain next week for more of Road to Hope Radio
Multiple people in my family clean my father are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The troops that have been to war and now they're
back and think and be grateful for their service.
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as together we are building the road to hope.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
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To do it? Uh in a great space.
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Speaker 2 (04:08):
We love these people.
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Awesome folks, the right values, the right location, the right price.
Republic Grand Ranch dot Com. Couple of veterans in the
studio with us today. We're glad to have you back. Andrew,
want to reintroduce yourself to the world.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Yeah, So my name is Andrew. I'm a Navy veteran.
I'm a graduate of the Camp Hop program and I'm
currently a mentor within the Foundation, and I'd like to
thank you for having me here.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
We're glad to have you back.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
And if I have time, I'll go back and find
you were on not too long ago, a month or
so ago, and shared a little bit of your story
about how you got here.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
And it's a really unique story.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Yes, I love it, so I won't ask you to
do that again today, but I'll try to find that
and post that. By the way, follow us on Facebook
just Road to Hope Radio. We share some events that
are coming up for the PTSD Foundation of America, and
we also will share some.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Veteran related stories.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
But if I can find that show, I'll put that
on our Facebook page because it's a great story of
how you found your way to.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Camp Hope.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
It's a great, great story also with us. Todd, want
to introduce yourself.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Yeah, my name is Michael Todd Elliott. I go by Todd.
I'm a resident right now at Camp Hope.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And you are from the Marine Corps veteran from from Katie,
so not too far away from here from justin you
could almost I mean you could, but I wouldn't buyse it.
So you could almost walk there in here, but I
wouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Don't do it.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
It tend gets a little crazy on a rare occasion,
like every day.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Uh but yeah, okay, And you deployed where.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
I went to Iraq and then was on a mew
that went to several different places. When you were when
in two thousand and four, it was during the second
invasion of Flusia, Operation Phantom Fury.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Yeah, I have a good friend that died as a
result of some wounds from Fallujah in that second attack. Anyway,
glad to have you in the show. How long you've
been at Camp.
Speaker 6 (06:19):
By the way, about three months?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Okay, Yeah, all right, So we'll talk a little bit
about that So were you born and raised in Katie.
Speaker 5 (06:27):
I was born in Lansing, Michigan. Moved to Katie when
I was about one years old.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Okay, well then you get grace, Yeah.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
Thank you. Yeah, I consider myself a Texan.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
We can only allow a certain number of folks from
the northern parts of the country at a particular time.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
We have to kind of ration that.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
One of the things I think one of the great things,
and don't talk about this all the time, one of
the great things about what we do at Camp Hope
bringing in veterans from all across the country, but we
bring them in from every era of war, every military
branch that we don't have Space Force representative. We haven't
quite got anyone from that yet.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
I'm sure it's coming. I'm sure it happens someday.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
But yeah, like there can only let a certain number
of people from up north end of the time, but
we're gonna let We'll count you as a Texan.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Okay, I appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yes, Uh so high school experience anything great, creative, just
like star quarterback.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
No, I mean, growing up in Katie, they have a
huge well, Texas in general is huge on football and Katie,
But I didn't. I didn't dabble in football. I did
a lot of skating. I grew up on a little
crew all right. And we traveled around in Austin, San Antonio. Here,
Oh cool, shot a few videos.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
We'll have to check that out. All We got to
take a quick break. We'll be right back in just
a moment. More of Road to Hope.
Speaker 6 (07:55):
Rate you.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Andrew.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
You a skater, road BMX bikes for most of my childhood.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
You're a bike guy.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Bike Teddy actually convinced me to buy a road bikes
so me and him go ride on the weekends.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Now I've seen a little bit of that.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
He always posts awesome yeah about some of his rides.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Never thought I would do it, but it's nice getting
out back in the nature, and he did. We did
a twenty six mile ride last on Sunday, which was
pretty fun.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
And again, you know when we talk about Camp Hope
and what goes on there a lot of times, and
we will today too, talk about stories a little bit
about you know what happened or you know your deployment,
and we don't we're not the worst story thing, but
we'll talk a little bit about that and we talk
a little bit about what brought someone to Camp Hope,
why they needed it, But one of the beautiful things
about Camp Hope that we rarely really touch on is,
(09:05):
you know, I feel like, in many ways the luckiest
man in the world, just because I get to experience
firsthand a lot of some true redemption stories, tremendous life
trajectory change, and those are the kinds of things we
(09:28):
typically talk about on this show. But one of the
just beautiful things that happens is you get to meet
some of the most amazing people in the world, and yes,
certainly in our veteran population. And you know, when you
say Fallujah and the common the common person, the common
(09:48):
civilian out there, they've heard of Fallujah, so you know,
some bad stuff went down there. There's a lot of
other places that some bad stuff went down to but
didn't make the news.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
But if it made the news, you know it was rough.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
So you hear some of those stories, and you meet
some of those people and you realize and recognize what
they did, what they had to do. But then also
just the people you meet and going about the day
to day work of our programs, and one of the
things I love to see is you mentioned Teddy and
(10:21):
you guys doing the bike thing like you had never
met Teddy, right, I mean, there would have been no
reason to meet him if it weren't for Camp Hope
and just to see you know, years later Teddy came through, man,
I mean probably ten years ago. It's been a minute.
(10:45):
You came through, graduated in twenty two.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
The first time. I arrived in twenty twenty, graduated in
twenty one, and then I came back through the program
in twenty.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Two, twenty two, So I mean that's probably eight years
after Teddy came through. I mean, it was literally that
long ago and he came through and now both of
you on staff. But you know, just that camaraderie, the friendship.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I just love those stories.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I just I think that's the coolest thing in the
world because everybody needs that, and that's what It's one
of the big things we do at Camp's peer to peer.
But we always teach you can't stop doing what you've
learned to do at Camp Hope when you leave Camp Hope.
So maintaining some sort of friendship relationship like that's just
(11:35):
it's cool on a thousand levels. But it's also important
to maintaining the positive change in your lives. So it's
cool to see. I like it when you guys post
that stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Look at those idiots out there right and that bike
for four hundred hours.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
He convinced me to buy some some like Spandex and
all of that get up.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
You did it right to go ally.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
If you're gonna do it right, this is the way
you do it is okay. So skating was your thing,
all right, So you traveled, So what what what? I'm
not familiar with the skating world. So is that like
some sort of a team and in competition type deal.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
No, I was never like sponsored or in competitions. It
was just a group of us that from around the
Houston area that would get together a lot and go
skating in the street or at the time, they had
a huge skate park, Vanced skate park here in Houston.
It's not here anymore, but we would go there a
lot and uh and and and skate.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
And then eventually it got big enough to where we
you know, we got old enough that we had our
own cars and then we'd take weekend trips to you know, Austin,
San Antonio. Got kicked out of the Capitol in Austin
for skating and jumping out.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
They didn't they didn't care for that.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
Yeah, no, not too much.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I wonder.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
How in the world, what's what's wrong with that? It
is public property, right, Okay? Uh did you join the
Did you join the Marine Corps right out of high school?
Speaker 6 (13:10):
Or yeah? I joined right out of high school.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
I was not the best student, graduated somewhere in the
bottom of my class. I didn't have an idea of
what I wanted to do, and I joined because the
recruiter bought me Burger King. So well, your price was low, yeah,
Burger King. It could have been at least been Waterberg.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
I had no thoughts of joining.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
No one in my family was in and uh yeah
he uh picked me up one day and there's a
Burger King in the same pocket parking lot.
Speaker 6 (13:40):
Bought me a whopper and I said, okay, Jeff.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Forgetting Yeah, getting in a car with strangers. Let's see
what happens. Burger King Marine Corps IRAQ.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, what year did you join?
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Two thousand and two?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Oh too?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yeah, okay, So it had to dawn on you. This
is going to end me going someplace that really don't
want to go.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Yeah, I mean it was a thought, but that's all
it spoke. Yeah, I mean that was my mindset back then.
I was and still now A lot is just going
with the flow and I guess just really being in
the day that I'm in.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah, yeah, seventeen ish yep, yeah, yeah, well you know,
not the first person at seventeen to not really think
long term. Yeah, on some decisions life decisions like.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
That turned into a twelve year career.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Well, you know that's something to be said for that.
I mean you turn and look at like that's pretty
pretty awesome.
Speaker 6 (14:38):
Yeah, yeah, I enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Burger King should probably turn that into some kind of
a promo. I mean, we got to be able to
make some sort of a deal with Burger King on that.
Come on, guys, you got a guy off to Iraq
and Flujah for that. For a Burger King, it's got
to be for something, all right. So what were you
(15:02):
doing in a right? What was your day to day?
Speaker 5 (15:04):
I was in communications, Actually I was data side six
fifty six. Most didn't even exist anymore and most of
the time, like we went to haditha Dam. We were
there for about three months, and then I was also
at a little place asp Wolf with Bravo Company. I
was a first Battalion, eighth Marines. Stayed there for a
(15:30):
bit and then Flujah kicked off and they put me
on ECP duty and QRF team.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Okay for someone driving around six ' ten right now
that those letters mean nothing to them, help them understand
what you were doing.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Well ECP, Well, my main job when I was there
was wiring up a lot of the buildings. The dam
in particular, it had no power, so and I was
the only non NCO. I was the worker in the group.
There's only four of us there, and I just wired
up the whole damn with Cat five data, set up
(16:08):
the servers, program the routers, the servers are switches, everything
to get it going in there.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
And then.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
When Fallujah kicked off, yeah, I got put on Entry
Control Point duty, which was just maintaining the INTR control
points to Camp Fallujah, the main base. And then on
our off time that was I think we did sixteen
hours of watch and then the rest of our time
was for sleeping and then stand by QRF, which you
(16:42):
know I got called out a couple times for that.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
You mentioned you were the worker. I just in my mind.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I just conjured out the image of a road work crew,
one guy working in four or five guys standing around
overseeing the one guy working.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
It's just what pops up in my.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Brain before we run to the news break on the
nine to five O. Those listening through the radio, a
reminder PTSD post traumatic stress disorder PTSD USA dot org
is the website you can find out all the information
regarding Camp Hope, the interim housing program for our combat vets,
(17:19):
as well as our warrior support groups, our family support
groups which by the way, and our warrior groups online.
There are also first responders, law enforcement contractors. It's not
just constricted only to combat related PTSD, so ptsdusa dot
(17:40):
org for all that information, all of it again at
zero cost to the veteran or to their family. Check
it out. We'd love to have you join up in
one of our groups. We right back with more of
Road to Hope Radio, you know indeed, and we welcome
(18:09):
back Rode to Hope Radio.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Glad to have you long.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
David Malsby here, big thank you to our friends. iHeart
Houston Media. Not only do they work with us to
allow us this opportunity to have this show every Sunday afternoon.
But they do a lot of a lot of airtime
for us throughout the week on several of their stations
(18:33):
here in the Houston area, to the tune of over
I think last year was over two hundred thousand dollars
of donated airtime to the foundation. We cannot think them, literally,
cannot think them enough. The awareness deal. Our thing is,
we cannot afford to be the best kept secret down.
(18:55):
We are still losing, according to research, up to forty
four veterans every every single day to their own hands.
That could be suicide, it can be overdoses. Whichever, all
those forty four are preventable, and whatever you happen to
believe the number is, we all agree that the number
is way, way too high and we have to do
(19:17):
everything we can to lower that number. And part of
that is just letting veterans their families know that they
have the awareness that we are here and it's not gonna,
you know, bankrupt them to do our program. So big,
big thank you to our awesome, awesome friends here. iHeartMedia
(19:39):
Houston been such great friends for so many years now
and we are forever indebted to them for their support.
All Right, So you joined in O two. You said
you were in for twelve Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Was Iraq your first employment? Yes?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Okay, Then you mentioned you had several other views. Obviously
because since you're at Camp Hope. There's a mental health issue,
mental health diagnosis. As you look at it today and
you look back on your time in the military and
(20:18):
in combat situations, when did you begin to notice And
you may not have noticed them, but as you look back,
when did things begin to happen for you the mental
illness side.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
Looking back at it, I I mean I noticed right
away when I got back from my rack, spending time
on leave, you know, with my wife at the time
and family, like loud noises would startle me. I remember
one time walking in the mall and I don't know
what caused the noise, but it almost caused me to
(20:54):
hit the floor, you know, drop to the ground. I
was always pacing at night, peeking out the blinds at night,
looking out the windows, always feeling like there was impending
doom just around the corner. But I felt like it
kind of went away after a bit, and then it
(21:14):
wasn't until I got out of the Marine Corps that
it really started hitting me hard, like depression and the
anxiety and then the self isolation. Was My biggest thing
that came out of having PTSD was I eventually ended
up pulling away from everyone really, family, friends, my wife,
(21:36):
my son, I held your boy.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
I have two sons, ones twenty and the others thirteen.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Okay, So as you start realizing these symptoms, and I know,
I just don't know your store of it. I know,
having talked to a lot of guys, when something like
that happens you mentioned at the story at the mall,
when there's that visible physical reaction, there's the obvious of
(22:10):
just that, but there's also the resulting. It's embarrassing for
you know, you don't want your family to see that,
you don't want people to view you that way.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Were you dealing with some of that?
Speaker 5 (22:28):
I don't think I was ever feeling embarrassed when that
kind of thing happened. It was more of a rush
of you know, anxiety over my body really just not
wanting to be in that place or situation, you know,
which I think self isolation is.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
You know, where it.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Led to or where I thought I would be safe,
you know, or wouldn't hurt anybody you know, or be hurt.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
Yeah, what did you do.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
To try to cope with all that or to mitigate that?
Speaker 6 (22:59):
I tried, you know, group therapy with my ex wife.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Was that at the VA.
Speaker 6 (23:08):
No, this is.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Actually when I when I got out, I moved to Canada.
My wife was Canadian, or is Canadian. My ex wife's Canadian.
We moved up to northern BC. And you know, I,
I was starting to get in a place where we
weren't communicating at all. I was kind of a stone,
a statue, and I it was making it rough for her,
(23:33):
rough for us to even have a relationship. And I
had gone through you know, five or six jobs while
I was there, getting fired from some, quit from some Uh,
just did not want to really do a thing, not talk,
not get up from the couch, just be isolated by myself.
(23:56):
But yeah, I went. We we got counseling. Ultimately, it
didn't it didn't work out. It didn't stick, which led
to us separating and then you know it, it we
were still on good terms, we still loved each other
really much, very much, and I made the decision to
(24:16):
move back here so I could start getting help through
the VA. Uh and uh, yeah, it took me five
years to get to Camp Hope when I moved back here,
going to the VA, and little spurts like, yeah, I
was going to the KDVA. Yeah, and really I was
(24:37):
going in when I was having pretty much like a
mental breakdown. You know where I was living. Uh, I
was with a buddy and I was just I was.
I was living in the backyard a lot in a
in a hammock and cooking out of a fire pit
I made from from bricks, and uh, yeah, I would
some days it would get so bad that you know,
(24:58):
I I'd be crying, I'd be able to function, hardly walk.
And those were the days where I'd make myself over
to the VA and they'd check me out and eventually
they told me you might want to look into Camp Hope.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Is that how you heard about us?
Speaker 5 (25:13):
I did, Yeah, through my therapist, having a one on
one with her.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
By the way, as we mention these stories and go
through these stories, we understand these things can be triggers
to you. You can see the effect on the other
people as they hear these stories. We have a combat
Trauma Crisis line eight seven seven seven one seven seventy
eight seventy three. I'll give you a number. Again, I
(25:40):
wish everybody would put this number in their phone. You
never know when you might come across someone who really
could use the connection. Eight seven seven seven one seven
seventy eight seventy three. It is answered twenty four to
seven by a combat veteran. And I cannot over emphasize
that for those of you are not veterans and like,
(26:01):
this isn't for me.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
If when you.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Tell somebody about the number and hand the phone and
say just here, just call them and tell them let
them know a combat that's going to answer the phone,
that will completely change their willingness to uh to make
that call. Eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight
seventy three. All right, So did they when they're when
(26:29):
you were going back to them? However often with those
serious issues, those days where it got really rough, did
they diagnose you at the time or.
Speaker 6 (26:38):
I was eventually diagnosed by the uh.
Speaker 5 (26:43):
By the therapist I was speaking to okay, or the
psychiatrist I was speaking to you.
Speaker 6 (26:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Did they set up any kind of regular appointments with
them or just encourage you to check out camp?
Speaker 5 (26:55):
Hope?
Speaker 6 (26:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:56):
It turned into regular uh like uh skype or over
the computer?
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Uh.
Speaker 6 (27:05):
Appointments.
Speaker 5 (27:06):
It was.
Speaker 6 (27:07):
It was once a month that I was doing that.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Okay, what I.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Mean, And everybody's different, So I'm just curious, Skype, did
that work for you or no?
Speaker 6 (27:19):
Not?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
I mean technologically it did, but I mean did it help.
Speaker 6 (27:22):
No, I'd say it's for me.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
I I need the personal approach of being physically present
with someone, you know, whether it be in group or
one on one, you know, not not over the computer.
I mean I have I haven't even own a cell
phone in ten years, you know, I'm not. I I
like to stay away. I like to stay away from
(27:47):
it as much as I can.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
On the way over the Yeah, all.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Right, we got to take all the sleep we got
a minutes ago.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
I can't read my clock or I can't read my clock.
I just don't know how much time with it.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Just to reminder ptsd USA dot org and the phone
number eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy
three on Facebook Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I'm glad that with therapists.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
I guess at the VA you were talking to mentioned
Camp Hope to you when they first mentioned that. What
what was your thought?
Speaker 5 (28:23):
I thought, I don't I don't think I will do this.
You know, it's nice, nice that they gave me this information.
It wasn't the only place they gave me. There was
three or four different places, and honestly, Camp Hope wasn't
my first choice. I can't remember the name of the
first choice I had. But they never reached back out
(28:45):
and contacted me.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
And uh, okay, we're going to take the break now
we'll come back. I want to hear why you ended
up choosing to h to check out Camp Hope.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
I'm going to take a quick break.
Speaker 6 (28:57):
We ride back with more of Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Straight down, and we welcome you back Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Thank you again for listening.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Wherever you've listened to podcasts, let's look for Road to
Hope Radio. We really do appreciate it when you hit
that little subscribe button.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
You downloads to your.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
App for absolutely no charge. It's free and it's free
to share, and we really really appreciate those who share
the show that you never know who might hear about
what we are doing and trying to do within our
veteran community, and it could act absolutely if I could
talk help change their life. So thank you for subscribing
(29:50):
thank you for sharing.
Speaker 6 (29:52):
Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Okay, Todd, So you mentioned the service mentioned a couple
of places to you. Camp Hope wasn't the first thought
on your mind, the first choice, So I guess I
should say, Uh, was there a reason like.
Speaker 6 (30:12):
Not there not Camp Hope?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Right?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (30:16):
Yeah, I saw that it was you know, Christian based
faith program, and you know I'm not Christians.
Speaker 6 (30:27):
So that is what threw me off a bit.
Speaker 5 (30:29):
You know, at one point I was, but now I'm seeking,
I guess my own path, trying to figure things out spiritually.
Speaker 6 (30:39):
So yeah, that that was.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
My main deterrence was all you know, I'm going to
be flooded by uh, you know, prayer circles and and and.
Speaker 6 (30:51):
Preaching the whole time there.
Speaker 5 (30:52):
And yeah, so that that's what made me stray away
from it. But it was my second choice. It was
because it was on the list, is second on the list.
So I just went bout down that list, and as
soon as I called Camp Hope, you know, someone was
there to answer and right there willing to accept me
(31:14):
in the program. So that's where that's where it went.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
And I think it's important to share with folks. Yes,
we are as an organization a couple of things unashamedly
peer to peer as our DNA, the christ centered faith
based aspect of our program. We believe it is very
critical to what we do and what separates us and
(31:42):
helps us be more effective at what we do.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
With that said, I.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Always tell people you don't have to agree with what
I think or anybody else thinks.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
You don't.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
That's that's not it. That's not what it's about. There's
not some creed you have to agree to or sign
or like.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I believe this.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
I don't believe that you don't have to believe anything.
I mean people who claim to be agnostic or atheist
or whatever. We've had a little bit of everything comes
through our doors. And so yes, while that is, you know,
part of who we are, an important part of who
we are, it's not an exclusionary thing, at least from
our point of view.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
And I've.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
For me when I hear you say that, it actually
it excites me in a way. There's nothing more important
than in my view, than your your faith and where
you place your faith, in whom you place your faith.
(32:44):
So it should be wrestled with right. It shouldn't just
be well somebody said, so, so that's it. It encourages
me when I hear you guys like I'm I'm checking,
I'm in endeavoring to come to some sort of a
here's where i'm at, here's where I need to be,
and here's where I want to go.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
That just that makes me happy, Like at least you
haven't just rolled over and said I'm out. I'm glad
you're doing that. That that that thrills me, That makes
me happy. But so you've been at camp for three
ish months. Three months, okay, So that means you came
through the holidays, which is always crazy.
Speaker 6 (33:30):
Very active.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
There's a lot going on during the holidays.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
And it's all good stuff, but it is also there's
no way around it. It's also a bit distracting from
what you're trying to do in the program because there's
just so many things that happen. And again they're all
good things, but yeah, there's a lot that goes on. Yea,
now we've come through January, we're already second weekendo February.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Now, what's what's changing.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
In your mind? What's the way you approach a new day,
the way you feel when you wake up in the morning,
What what's changing for you?
Speaker 5 (34:12):
I will say that I've never noticed how much spiritual
faith is is extraordinarily powerful in someone's life, and I'm
I'm really leaning into figuring that out for myself. I'm
(34:36):
you know, meditating now and ah, just waking up and
and being thankful that I'm able to wake up and
breathe and live.
Speaker 6 (34:53):
Every day and.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
And and learning how to love myself is a big one,
you know, since I've been here.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
And it's probably an unfair question, but I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Ask it anyway. As you said, you've you've you.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Came through the second time, graduated back in twenty twenty two,
so it's been a few years now, so you got
a little distance in between.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
Yes, sir h.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
When you look back on.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Camp, your time there as someone in the program, can
you point to one thing? I'm sure it's a thousand
and one things. Can you point to one thing, like
if the only thing I got was this, This changed
my life, This helped me, This turned me in a
(35:44):
better direction.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
I would say, where I'm at today, obviously I have
to put my faith on the top. That is the
most important thing that I've gotten out of the program.
Which I didn't have in the beginning, you know, coming
into the program in a very dark, dark place.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Which is typical.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I guess, yeah, you know it's I would I mean,
from my point of view, it seems typical.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
And immediately secondary to that would be the sense of
connection and family that I've developed through this program, both
with you know, the the guys that I went through
with that I'm still connected to today, but also the
guys that I now work with. Like it's it's become
the family that I never had and you know kind
(36:31):
of taught allude to with the the the the self
isolation that was a big problem for me, and you know,
I just really didn't want to be around people for
a long time, and I was okay with that, but
I don't have that today.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Like I look forward to to.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
Doing things with people and and just really being connected
on a level that I never thought I could have
ever had.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Andrew you mentioned or Todd you mentioned, Uh, what you're
learning and what's changing for you? Decided it's a new day.
Speaker 6 (37:05):
You're alive.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
You know, new opportunities in front of you, and you're
I don't know where you're at in the program doesn't
matter but three months it's in. You've been around long
enough that some things are changing, you are learning some things.
I'm guessing you're not yet in the phase of the
program where you're really starting to look forward. So this
is probably also not a fair question. But today, sitting
(37:31):
here in the studio, when you think of whenever you
do graduate, whatever that ends up being whatever month doesn't
really matter. But once you're there and you've seen graduations,
now you've seen guys get up there and you know,
say whatever they're going to say, sometimes funny, sometimes serious,
and sometimes crying and sometimes laughing. But when you stand
(37:53):
there and graduate, and then you go forward in your life,
what's something you want to have, Something you want to
look forward to, something you want to aspire to going forward.
Speaker 6 (38:09):
What I'd like to have is.
Speaker 5 (38:15):
Or to keep, is that sense of adventure and to
really dive into it. You know, I don't ever want
to own a home, but I would like to own
a vehicle that I can turn into or I should
say I don't want to own a house.
Speaker 6 (38:30):
I'd like to own a vehicle and.
Speaker 5 (38:31):
Turn it into my home again, try it and then
you know, live like a vegabond, or you know, what
I mean, like travel, go searching across the country.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
You know there's a lot to see.
Speaker 6 (38:42):
A sprinter van, put some solar on the top.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
There you go.
Speaker 6 (38:45):
Absolutely And now.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
I used to drive a lot, not quite to that extent,
but you just drive the country a lot.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Those are my younger days. We are out of time.
I hate this.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
This clock runs so fast every time. Thank you for
being here man, Thank you for what you're doing. Thanks
for sharing a little story and you're always great to
see you. Thanks for doing you what you do, Camp Hope.
Thank you for joining us. Look forward to being with you.
Gain next week for more of Road to Hope Radio
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