Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Troops that have been to war and now they're back
and think and be grateful for their service.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all that they
do for us. There are some people in this country
who take extraordinary steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
We forget that those people exist. We know them as
the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. They
call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Dogs, and so much more.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters,
sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These
veterans answered the call, now we answer Theirs are the
best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today,
(01:06):
we honor them and we serve them. David Malsby is
your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans,
as together we are building the road to hope.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
And indeed we are glad to have you along those
of you listening on the apr C the nine to
five oh and they and thank you for joining us
today as you drive endlessly around the loop. Glad to
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(02:07):
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(02:29):
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Republic Grand Ranch dot Com. All right in the studio
with us today. We've got a couple that's with us. Max.
Always good to have you back. Other than the cap
uh uh. Anyway, glad to have back, going to reintroduce
(03:58):
yourself to the world.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Yes, once again, my name is Robert MacLean. I'm from Bronx,
New York. My call sign is mac.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Thank you, and you served.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
I served in the Army Airborne. I've been to quite
a few places, a couple of wars. I really don't
want to try to go back into it. But if
you want to have a good, good, nice story, come
see this. Come come listen to my story.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yes, sir, understood airborne means you fell out of an airplane.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
No, sir, you jump out of the airplane.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Jump out?
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Yeah, Savina's fall out. No. Never, They don't push you out.
They give you the boot, sir, a nice shiny boot.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Goodness. I never understood that, but thank you for doing it.
Is your back? Remind you my knees? Is your knees?
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Yes, bone bone on bone? Yeah, yes, sir, But you
know what, that's a young man's game, and I'm glad
I was young. Ones.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Yeah, we all used to be young.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Leave that.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah it was a minute ago, but.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
As long as we can remember, we could talk about
it happened.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
We went through that stage I didn't jump out of
airplanes though, uh no, not me. All right, Kelly, want
to enter yourself of the world.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Kelly McMillan's staff sim United States Army paratrooper as well
knees in a breeze. Fort Bragg has spent my whole
career and pleasure to be here. And where'd you deploy
Iraq in Afghanistan? You got you got both of them, yes, sir, oh.
First one was two thousand and one, two thousand and two,
four the really seven, O, eight, nine and ten.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Wait a minute, so four? Yeah, good grief. No, I
got six total, sixth total.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
But most of them was all of them actually was
with use of sock. So our longest deployment was only
seven months, so it wasn't a year long like Big
Army did.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, only seven months. Yeah, that's seven months more than
I would want to be there. God Lee, all right,
we'll glad to have you along. And you're from where
exactly originally Ohio, Ohio. So we've got two Yankees in here, man,
that is you're safe. Sorry, we gotta we gotta, we
gotta clear this up, not let this happen again. You
(06:05):
are so many people from the other side of the
Mason Dixon line for uh.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Don't worry and we'll come now because of the terrace.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Oh man, uh all right, see high school? You like
the drama guy? Football player baseball?
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Played football? Did you?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
McKinley Senior High School? My My high school stadium is
Fossett Stadium where the Pro Football Hall of Fame is nice.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
That's where I played football.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Were you any good?
Speaker 5 (06:36):
Oh yeah, quarterback? Absolutely, you're the quarterback, yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Oh my gosh, we got we got the star.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
In here and played wrestling too.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You wrestle, yes, sir? Uh yeah. Uh. My old one
of my brothers, he's the youngest of my brothers and
he's seven years older than me, and he was like
all state in high school. He always liked to try
out his new moves on me. I was seven years
younger than him, so you just think, you know, he's
(07:05):
seventeen eighteen, I'm ten eleven years old. That never worked
out well for me, never does, but he's a little brother.
Never worked out well for me, but I learned a
lot about wrestling. One don't mess with one who is
an actual wrestler. You don't want to mess with that.
They're small like my brother. He was always cutting weight
all the time. I think he was one o eight wow,
and then like one whatever. The next one was one
(07:27):
thirteen or something like that. When he was like a senior,
like just couldn't eat food. I mean, it was just ridiculous.
My mom would boil a Hamburger patty for him, boil it.
It was crazy. He's always cutting weight.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah, I don't mess with those guys though they will,
they will turn your eight. Anyway, We're gonna take a
quick break and when we come back, we'll get into
a little bit of these guys' stories and what brought
him to Camp Hope and what we're doing going forward.
So this is Road to Hope. Ridy will be right
back and we welcome you back Road to Hope Radio'd
(08:33):
glad to have you along. Quick reminder follow us. We
have Road to Hope Radio on Facebook. Follow us there.
We will always post a link to the shows. We
will also share some on occasion, we'll share some veteran
related news stories. At times. We will also share some
(08:56):
events going on about the PTSD Foundation for America. But
for more up to date on that if you just
follow PTSD Foundation so on Facebook. And on the X
formerly known as Twitter ptsd USA. Also on YouTube, ptsd
USA is our YouTube channel, so we encourage you to
(09:16):
sign up for those. Again, all that is free, as
we charge nobody anything. Everything we do is for free
for the veteran and for the families, So all of
that's free. So Facebook X formerly known as Twitter, YouTube,
ptsd USA websites ptsdusa dot org. That's a great way
(09:38):
for you to follow all the events going on in
support of the PTSD Foundation of America and Camp Hope.
Camp Hope is the interim housing facility and program that
we bring veterans in such as Kelly, from all across
the country, every era of combat, every military brand. We
(10:00):
haven't had Space Force yet. I'm sure, I'm sure it
will happen at some point in time, but we haven't
had anyone from Space Force yet, but we've covered all
the other branches, So again, all of that is absolutely free.
But you can get all the information about those programs,
not only Camp Hope, but also the support groups that
we run were we also have first responders law enforcement
(10:24):
involved in some of those groups. So all that information
is available at our website PTSDUSA dot org. Appreciate you
checking that out. One other thing I want to give
you is our combat Trauma Support line eight seven seven
seven one, seven seventy eight seventy three. You may not
(10:45):
be a VET. You may think you'll never need that number,
but please put that number in your phone. You never
know when you may come into contact with somebody that
could really use that lifeline. I guess you could say,
And then you don't want to be kicking yourself thinking well,
what was that number? So put it in your phone.
Eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three.
(11:06):
And here's the important thing to know about that number.
It's going to be answered twenty four to seven a
combat vet, so with someone who truly understands. This is
not a psych or someone just reading answers off of
a screen, some sort of AI driven sort of a thing.
A combat vet who's been through the program also has
received a great deal of training, suicide like assays, training
(11:32):
how to deal with all that. Eight seven seven seven
one seven seventy eight seventy three. A combat vet is
going to answer the phone, all right, Kelly, So, star
football guy, why'd you join the army?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I ended up getting some trouble in high school, and
my brother had already joined the army, and he came
home on hometown recruiting, and he brought home his recruiter,
so end up talking me into it. So I got
my ged and I left for the army. And I
want to be airborne, and so I did.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
When did you sign up in two thousand? In two thousand?
Why do you want to be airborne?
Speaker 5 (12:12):
Because my brother wasn't. I want her to be better
than him.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Step up. They gotta beat the brother. I love it.
Why did you choose to go airborne?
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Because excuse me, my name is Mack once again, because
my father was air calve and he always talked about
how did you used to be airborn? And I sound
like him because my dad didn't do it? So I
did it? Got you to prove? Yeah, sure of course.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yeah, a little little competition that gotta one up them
right to work more than beating all right? Uh so
you joined up in two thousand, you deployed in two
thousand and one. I mean that was that was fast.
There weren't many, right.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
We uh laid Constantina tripplestrand Constantina wire around four brag
and then in about forty five days we was in Usebekistan.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You deployed pretty fast too, didn't you? Pretty early?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Yeah? Sir, Well, year did you go? I went in
eighty four and Hondors was my first one, and then
we went, yeah for Honduras, and then we uh did
Panama way before we did the invasion, and then we
had a does a shell does a storm? I was
a line in the sand on that one. Yeah, and
that's where we stopped. I ROCKI freedom. Excuse me. It
(13:28):
was my last, very last one. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
What year was that?
Speaker 4 (13:31):
That was two thousand and one. I'm not mistaken.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, so very both of you guys, like very early
in all that very because there weren't many that were
deployed that quickly.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
No, no, because you know we we we were real
quick respondors, you know, eighteen hours or less, you know,
light infantry. Yeah, so we get there quicker than anybody else,
get everybody there on top on the trains and stuff
like that to get there.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Where'd you go into another one?
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (13:58):
We staged and used Bakistan for the initial push into
Bogram and then went in with tenth Mountain one hundred, first, uh,
third and seventh group when we staged in Bogram for
first boots on ground for Operation Anaconda, and that was
the initial push to get to push them out of
the mountains around Bogram and Marzak.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
So what were you doing what?
Speaker 5 (14:21):
I was supposed to just be a mechanic, but was.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Supposed to be doing something else than.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And they definitely they were a lot stronger force than
was to be expected. So we had like three helicopters
that got shot down that we had to go up
in the mountains and retrieve. And it was a whole
lot bigger operation than they anticipated in the beginning for Anaconda.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
So it was pretty crazy.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
So you went up after the after the choppers went down,
retrieving the bodies. I was meeting with the gold Star dad. Mmm,
so it was last week. His son was a marine
and was killed in a chopper over there. Crazy story
(15:14):
they gave him. You know, they're getting shot at all
the time, right, I mean, it's just it's kind of
a low easy target to shoot at, right, So they're
shooting these things all the time. You know. They told
the family, you know, mechanical failure, Like, yeah, well you
get hit enough times, I guess you have mechanical failure.
(15:35):
I guess that's how that rolls. I don't know if
that's what the story you want to tell, but that's
the story you want to tell. I guess the Marine
Corps had a reason for saying it that way. I
don't know. That doesn't makes much sense to me. Uh
So just that in and of itself is traumatic, just
having to deal with the fallout of that.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Yeah, I mean that we set up the first CCP
casualty collection point there.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
In Bogroom, and for.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
The first like, we couldn't land fixed wing because the
only runway that was there with Boggra met was so
mortar rid ol dat you couldn't land fixed wing, so
you could only land shanooks and coming like that for
the first couple of months there until it got repaired.
So getting people in and out of there wasn't really capable.
Could only get helos. So it wasn't the ideal situation
(16:25):
there in February of O two, you know, especially with snow.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
On the ground, and I cannot imagine it was an
ideal And you were there how long that one was?
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Eight months?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah, yeah, I'll pass on that one if I can.
All right, So eight months there and then four six
total deployments for RACK Afghanistan. Right, yeah, okay, all right,
when did when did you begin to realize something was
(17:00):
up on your mental health?
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
As soon as I came back from the first.
Speaker 5 (17:03):
Tour, Yeah, I was. I was only eighteen, and.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I was going to ask how old were you when
you hit So eighteen, that's way too young, that's just stupid.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
But everything revolved around drinking after that. And I mean
my dad drank. He was the commander at the VFW.
Back home, so when I'll go home to visit, of course,
everybody's putting tokens downs, drink tickets, you know, at the BFW.
So I didn't buy a single drink the whole time
I was home, and that was not normal. Get back
(17:31):
to Fort Brag and everybody's drinking every night, eighteen or not,
it didn't matter. And uh that's how you just cooked
and it was an everyday thing. We could drink. I mean,
smoke bomb Hill Class six had the highest alcohol sales
of the year.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
In the whole United States.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
I mean, they sell the most alcohol on Fort Brag
in the whole United States.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
For a reason.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, so all right, we're going to take a quick
news break for those of you on the nine to
five O you listen through podcasts. Just a quick little
musical interlude and we'll be back with more of Road
to Hope Radio in just a moment, and we welcome
(18:31):
you back Road to Hope Radio. Glad to have you along.
Got uh, Robert, I'd like to call Mac.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
So. United States Army Vet. Kelly also United States Army Vet,
both airborne jumping out of airplanes. Yeah, so you mentioned
after that very first deployment you you were already hitting
the bottle pretty hard.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Did you ever talked to anybody about anything in the
army or no?
Speaker 5 (19:03):
No, No, it seemed normal.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Because everybody, everybody was doing it was the normal way
to cope.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
So and even my brother who hadn't already deployed, he
hadn't had a first deployment yet, he had been in
longer and uh he was in Korea though, but when
I talked to him, he was doing the same thing,
still drink or drinking over there.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
So it seemed normal.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So you had five more deployments after that. What were
you doing in those other diployments?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Uh, those are all with the USASAK. Some of them
was out doing some raids. The ones in Iraq were
a lot of driving. I was doing driving, going out,
picking up to our hits and stuff with the third group.
But uh, they're they're a little more in depth than
(19:57):
just going out and you know, just fired they were.
I really don't want to talk too much about it,
but it's fun.
Speaker 5 (20:08):
There. There's still stuff that I'm breaking through right now
with my.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Sure, not mechanics. Stuff not mechanics. Yeah, that signed up
to be a mechanic and here.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Is Yeah, well let's see. In Usak they send you
through a lot more training though. Like that's the best
thing about about USACK the money, the budget for schooling
is there. You can go to any school you want
when you're in Usaka is definitely a good place for training.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
And how long were you in the army to twenty fifteen?
Speaker 5 (20:41):
Twenty fifteen, so.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
You stayed awhile like mac mac went in state awhile?
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
How long were you.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
In mayby four to one when it came back.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah, that's a long time.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
So if you go in like you were eighteen when
you joined, and you're there for how long? Fourteen fifteen years,
fifteen years, that's all you knew as as an adult,
that's all you knew, and that's your world, that's your
whole frame of reference of seeing the world and existing
(21:19):
in the world. So we run into what had become
did become the obvious issue of our post nine to
eleven global war on terrorism, that reintegration into a civilian world.
I'm guessing your story is going to be similar to
(21:41):
most that I've heard in that timeframe. There wasn't a
whole lot Like you took a lot of classes for
training for doing your job in the army. What did
they do for you when it was time.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
To go, Oh really nothing?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah, that's kind of I assume that'll be there. Yeah,
so you're just well to the world. Yeah, yeah, because
it's interesting and you've seen it both as a coming
through the program but being now on the other side
and being a mentor and working with guys coming through
the program. These guys, I mean, so many of them
(22:14):
came through. They'd never bought an insurance policy, they'd never
done any of those things they did. It was all
done for them exactly right, And here's your clothes, Like, yeah, yeah,
it's a whole new world when you get out. How
much how much of that was a problem for I
mean clearly PTSD, but in addition to how much was
(22:36):
that an issue for either of you guys, Just all
of a sudden, you're a civilian now.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I mean one, you're basically like being kicked out the house,
and two where am I going to go? I mean, yeah,
we have family and stuff like that. But once you're
good for family, they don't understand you anymore. So what's
And I'm thinking, what's wrong with them? And all of
a sudden, you know what, My only friend is my addiction.
I find an addiction that I knew well in the
(23:02):
military at least I remember that, so I carry that
with me on the outside and find the wrong people
after that, and you find a different world. But to
you it is normal because you've never been in any
other world but the war and the dark side of
the dark side of the should I say civilian world?
It's just like being at the war, so you fit
right on that, you know, until you learn something to
(23:23):
new way, you get the faith back in your heart
and then you understand everything else around your end civilians,
but other than that, they throw you back to the walls. Basically,
I feel because when I was home in New York.
That was the jungle when the military left, let us go.
That's the jungle because you don't know where you're at,
trying to find yourself, trying to find people that understand you.
(23:44):
Scary to side.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
See how you were early thirties when you got out,
six deployments under your belt and you know, welcome to
the world. What what was it? I mean, you were
already using alcohol, you were doing that while you were in.
(24:11):
But once you came out of the out of the military,
what was your what was going on? What'd you do
when you got out? First? Did you get a job somewhere,
go out of school? What did you do?
Speaker 5 (24:22):
Yeah, I mean obviously I got a job.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
I ended up getting out on a five Dasha, which
is a family care plan because my wife had got sick.
She had got breast cancer and we had two kids,
so I couldn't take care of her and the kids
while I was active duties. So that's the reason why
I got out. We left Bragg and went back to
Georgia where she grew up. So that and getting out
on five Dasha family care plan, I was able to
(24:46):
get my separation bay.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
That's what helped us get our setup.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
So my first job once I got out was down
in Coming, Georgia working for some Belt Rentals. And like
you said, there's no transition from the military. So my
very first job was some Belt Rentals, which is an
amazing company, and I had in my first month, I
had two hr complaints from other people because I was
so abrasive, you know, being in the military. My whole
(25:12):
demeanor talking to somebody. You can't call somebody stupid, you know,
and they don't. That's highly frowned upon. So got these
young kids in there, and I expect them to have
the mentality and work ethic that I did and my
guys did when in the military.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Can't can't call somebody stupid and say.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Hey, you know, even though he's acting like it, you know,
you can't do that. So it was a lot to
get myself a mac uh, I guess uh tailored to
civilian world and uh. But once I did, you know,
(25:50):
it took a little while, but I excelled. I mean,
became uh employee of the month five months in a row,
you know, once I learned how to mm hmm tailor
to it. So my drinking still was a daily thing,
even I mean the stressors of life instantly got worse.
You noticed, Sacre, she got the more stressors, and then
(26:13):
when she passed, it just everything overtook me. And that's
how Camp Hope had to fallen, because I lost.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Just control of everything.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
When did she pass?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Valentine's Day, twenty twenty two?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
So sorry, thank you, sir. I hate cancer me too.
I hate it in every way you possibly can. Okay,
So you're you come out of a you know, the
only career you knew at the time, military. You come
out because of the diagnosis of your wife's cancer. So
(26:52):
you're dealing with that. You're trying to figure out how
to get along in a civilian world and then eventually
lose your wife to the camp answer, that's a lot.
That's a lot on the plate. You said that was
in twenty two. What happened after that?
Speaker 3 (27:12):
I made it to about Christmas time of the end
of twenty two, and come January twenty three, I couldn't
make the hours at work to maintain the level that
I was providing for me and the kids started closet drinking,
you know, under the bed once I get the kids
to bed and stuff I'd hide in my room and
drink until I fell asleep. My mom saw the came
(27:34):
over to the house. All the liquor bottles that I
had hit under the bed caused concern. She was concerned
for the kids and started that whole thing, and it
got brought to the light. You know, what I did
in the dark was brought to the light, and which
was it needed to be. You know, I'm glad my
mom was there to care about me and started this
whole thing. So I went to a rehab up in
(27:56):
North Georgia and Helen called Jericho House, and that's that's
first time I opened a Bible. You know, I wasn't
raised in a religious house, so never really have religion
ever and opened the Bible up there in Jericho House,
and it was nice.
Speaker 5 (28:10):
I enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
And one of the things that I looked forward to
the most about coming out here to Camp Hope of
it being a faith based program and being a loan program,
because I only went to Jericho House for three months
and then I had made it nine months, was doing
pretty good and then I relapsed and then that's how
I ended up out here at Camp Hope with it
(28:32):
being a twelve month or seven or nine month, but
possible year program.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Sure. Yeah, we've had some take up basically up to
two years. We've had a couple guys to take them.
All Right, we're gonna take gonna take a quick break
here in just a moment. Just a reminder eight seven
seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three is the
Combat Trauma Support Line eight seven seven seven one seven
seventy eight seventy three websites PTSDUSA dot org. We're gonna
(28:58):
take a quick break. Be right back. More of Road
to Hope Radio. You know I need joll love.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
You got a.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Hold of me.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Jall you know that. And welcome back Road to Hope Radio.
Thank you again for sharing. If you'll just hit that
(29:33):
subscribe button wherever you listen to podcasts up the Road
to Hope Radio, if you hit that subscribe button, that
will automatically download, and we appreciate you sharing it. Look,
you're gonna come across people that maybe you don't know someone,
but maybe someone you know knows someone that needs what
we do PTSDUSA dot organ Again, we remove every barrier
(29:55):
we possibly can that would keep someone from coming. So,
uh did you come from Georgia? Okay? So you came
to us from so for instance, coming from Georgia or
in your case, coming from New York. Uh, we we
buy the airplane ticket, we'll get you here. We'll take
care of everything while here. Sometimes we eat pretty good too.
(30:15):
It's our our quote unquote tagline, uh, Hope and healing
for the unseen wounds of war, which you have TBII
well right, you know, so multiple diagnosis, Hope and Healing
for the Unseen Wounds of war. Uh, the unofficial taglines.
We like to eat uh. So we really appreciate some
of our partners who from time to time bring out
(30:38):
some amazing meals. We had one last week that was
just off the charts. Our friends at True Lucks brought
out some lobster and some some prime rib. It was
that was a day. That was a day right there.
Then Del Frisco's brought out dinner like this. That was
a day. Man. You guys live like kings Like that
(30:58):
was awesome. No, we don't. It doesn't happen all the time,
but we do eat good. I mean to say that
food's good all the time. We have a great chef
and you never know what it's going to be because you
never know what's going to be donated, but he's able
to turn it into something good each and every day.
I try to stay away around lunchtime because I just
(31:18):
I don't want to be tempted, Like, if I'm there
around lunch, I'm gonna want to at least look at it,
at it like what's going on. I try to avoid that.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
It's kind of hard to do.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, I'm sure, But one thing I don't want to
mention is so like the family support we want to
help the family members as well. So we have a
team at our organization that's complete. That's our whole job
is to support families while their loved one is in
(31:49):
the program, and you know, even both before and after.
So sometimes in the early years when I was running
a family group, sometimes it was the family member coming
to understand what happened to the loved one because you
talked about that a little while ago. The family just
didn't get it. They don't understand, right, and why would they.
(32:10):
So we were in those family support groups to help
them understand what happened to your Johnny when he came home.
We had both of his arms and legs and eyes
who looked good but different war changed them, and we
try to help the families understand what happened to their
Johnny when they came home from war. So those support
groups happen as well. Many times as a family member
(32:31):
that starts to get the understanding and the support before
the veteran never does. So we encourage you. You're a
family of a veteran that's struggling. I see this so
often in ours, particularly in our Vietnam that population. So
many times family members were watching and now you know,
(32:52):
when they came home from Vietnam. There was obviously what
happened here in this country which was unforgivable. The way
we welcome to our Vietnam veterans home is just uncompletely unforgivable.
But I think the VA and the country has learned
(33:12):
at least a little bit, not as much as you
would like to think, but the coming home issue and
what's going on and family members seeing the veterans and
now they hear about PTSD because it's become, you know,
a known thing, I'd say, over the last ten years
or so. It's everyone's aware. They don't necessarily understand it,
(33:36):
they at least have heard the terminology of PTSD and
post traumatic stress, so they at least are familiar with
that to to some point. But they say, oh, that's
my that's my dad, that's my granddad, that's exactly what's
going on. And they hear about all these years later, and
sometimes they're the ones that will reach out and get
support before the veteran ever does, and that could be
(33:58):
a great leading veteran getting help. Now, you'd gone to
a rehab you mentioned and stayed sober for a while,
how did you eventually hear about Camp Hope?
Speaker 3 (34:11):
By God's grace? Honestly, I had got in trouble. I
tried to commit suicide in my truck in a parking lot,
eight sleep meds and tried to drink a lot and
go to sleep where I want to wake up. Did
(34:32):
it strategically to where my life interns would still pay out,
you know, not eat a bullet or anything like that,
And somebody told me and going to ambulance and they
saved me. Ended up going to jail because I had
a liquor bottle April sixteenth of last year, and because
(34:52):
of the liquor bottle in the truck in a parking lot,
I ended up getting a d UI. Uh that's how
I ended up in jail, and my attorney turned me out,
told me about it, and uh, that's when the representative
Jason at Ohall County, Georgia came and talked to me
about it. And if I would have known about Camp
Hope as soon as Megan passed and I lost, you know,
(35:14):
my whole support system after my dad passed away. He
was my primary on my support system with everything that
happened to me in the military, you know, telling me
everything that I had done. It was my job, and
you know, I did what I had to do. And
then Megan, you know, she told me everything I've done
was you know, I did what I had to do.
And you know, when she gone, every everything that always
(35:37):
supported me was gone. You know, I smoked and then
when I lost all that, if I would have known
about Camp Hope, then would have been saving grace for me.
Speaker 5 (35:44):
But that's how I found out.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
We have a great team in Atlanta, yes, sir, a
great team. They're rocking it. Absolutely, they do great, great
work in our Atlanta outreach and yes, what is one
of the things we often talk about is like how
can we get and we're talking with some folks currently
at the Fort Cavasa's formerly Fort Hood. But how can
(36:11):
we can get involved in their transition out of the military,
How can we get to meet them there in hopes
that we can help guys like you before you have
that criminal activity, whatever that may happen to be, or
other issues. We want to try to get out in
(36:32):
front of that. So that's something we're constantly working on.
So you when did you get to Camp.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
Uh August ninth? Okay, was the first time?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
What what are you learning? What's what's changing for you?
Speaker 3 (36:52):
I'm learning a lot being appeered a peer, having somebody
talk to. Since Megan I got sick in twenty fifteen,
I really had lost connectivity with my brothers with a friend.
I mean, she had been literally my best friend everything,
the one person I talked to, and I haven't had
that in a long time until I got here and
(37:13):
started making friends and having mentors to talk to and
just building relationships again. I'm learning that I'm learning to
trust people again and having a love for one another
and faith in other people again.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
What's your hope going forward.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
To continue this, continue my faith, continue bettering myself, and
continuing to want to live a better happier life with
joy in every single day.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Well, keep doing the work.
Speaker 5 (37:51):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
As you can see with who you showed up to
the show with, it actually can work again, it can
happen and doesn't mean life doesn't have its moments because
we all we're all living life in a world that's
really broken. So we all have all that stuff that
goes on. But you can maintain one sobriety, you can
(38:13):
do that. But you can also maintain, uh, you know,
an attitude and an outlook of hope and you know
some some happiness along the way. So keep following that
guy right there is he's a great example. He's a
great example of what can what can be done when
you do the work. Thank you, guys both for sharing
(38:33):
a little bit of your story today. Really do appreciate it. Again,
wherever you listen to podcasts, just look for Road to
Hope Radio. We appreciate it. If you hit that subscribe button. Uh,
it's a great way to share our story with someone
who maybe needs us. And let's let's let's get that
story out there before they are standing in front of
a judge. Let's get that story out there, so help
(38:53):
us do that. PTSD USA dot org is the website,
and we thank you for joining us on Road to
Hope Radio. Look forward to being with you getting next
week for more of a Road to Hope.
Speaker 5 (39:11):
Mama Jo
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Troops that have been to war and now they're back
and think and be grateful for their service.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Sacrifice, love for their country, just unselfishness, all that they
do for us. There are some people in this country
who take extraordinary steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
We forget that those people exist. We know them as
the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. They
call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Dogs, and so much more.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters,
sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These
veterans answered the call, now we answer Theirs are the
best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today,
(01:06):
we honor them and we serve them. David Malsby is
your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans,
as together we are building the road to hope.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
And indeed we are glad to have you along those
of you listening on the apr C the nine to
five oh and they and thank you for joining us
today as you drive endlessly around the loop. Glad to
have you with us. Those of you listening through the
miracle of podcasts, thank you for doing so. Wherever you
listen to podcasts, just look for Road to Hope. We
really do appreciate it. If you just hit that subscribe button,
(01:47):
those new shows will download automatically each and every week
as they are posted on the grand whatever they call
it a podcast world. Yes we are partial to the iHeart.
But wherever you listen to podcasts, just look for Road
to Hope and there there you have it. I got
I don't know, coming up on eight years now, I
(02:07):
think is what the number is. I think that's where
we're at of shows. So there's a lot, a lot,
a lot of lot of information there and we especially
appreciate it. Again, if you share the podcast, you never
know who might hear about us. Maybe it's the first
time they hear about us, or the tenth that it
finally clicks. But appreciate you sharing a road to hope.
Everybody you come across could use a little bit of hope.
(02:29):
Big thanks to our sponsor's elissus opportunity to spend all
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dream home, that's the dream location, there's no better place.
Republic Grand Ranch dot Com. All right in the studio
with us today. We've got a couple that's with us. Max.
Always good to have you back. Other than the cap
uh uh. Anyway, glad to have back, going to reintroduce
(03:58):
yourself to the world.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Yes, once again, my name is Robert MacLean. I'm from Bronx,
New York. My call sign is mac.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Thank you, and you served.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
I served in the Army Airborne. I've been to quite
a few places, a couple of wars. I really don't
want to try to go back into it. But if
you want to have a good, good, nice story, come
see this. Come come listen to my story.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Yes, sir, understood airborne means you fell out of an airplane.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
No, sir, you jump out of the airplane.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Jump out?
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Yeah, Savina's fall out. No. Never, They don't push you out.
They give you the boot, sir, a nice shiny boot.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Goodness. I never understood that, but thank you for doing it.
Is your back? Remind you my knees? Is your knees?
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Yes, bone bone on bone? Yeah, yes, sir, But you
know what, that's a young man's game, and I'm glad
I was young. Ones.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Yeah, we all used to be young.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Leave that.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah it was a minute ago, but.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
As long as we can remember, we could talk about
it happened.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
We went through that stage I didn't jump out of
airplanes though, uh no, not me. All right, Kelly, want
to enter yourself of the world.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Kelly McMillan's staff sim United States Army paratrooper as well
knees in a breeze. Fort Bragg has spent my whole
career and pleasure to be here. And where'd you deploy
Iraq in Afghanistan? You got you got both of them, yes, sir, oh.
First one was two thousand and one, two thousand and two,
four the really seven, O, eight, nine and ten.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Wait a minute, so four? Yeah, good grief. No, I
got six total, sixth total.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
But most of them was all of them actually was
with use of sock. So our longest deployment was only
seven months, so it wasn't a year long like Big
Army did.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, only seven months. Yeah, that's seven months more than
I would want to be there. God Lee, all right,
we'll glad to have you along. And you're from where
exactly originally Ohio, Ohio. So we've got two Yankees in here, man,
that is you're safe. Sorry, we gotta we gotta, we
gotta clear this up, not let this happen again. You
(06:05):
are so many people from the other side of the
Mason Dixon line for uh.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
Don't worry and we'll come now because of the terrace.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Oh man, uh all right, see high school? You like
the drama guy? Football player baseball?
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Played football? Did you?
Speaker 3 (06:26):
McKinley Senior High School? My My high school stadium is
Fossett Stadium where the Pro Football Hall of Fame is nice.
Speaker 5 (06:33):
That's where I played football.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Were you any good?
Speaker 5 (06:36):
Oh yeah, quarterback? Absolutely, you're the quarterback, yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Oh my gosh, we got we got the star.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
In here and played wrestling too.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
You wrestle, yes, sir? Uh yeah. Uh. My old one
of my brothers, he's the youngest of my brothers and
he's seven years older than me, and he was like
all state in high school. He always liked to try
out his new moves on me. I was seven years
younger than him, so you just think, you know, he's
(07:05):
seventeen eighteen, I'm ten eleven years old. That never worked
out well for me, never does, but he's a little brother.
Never worked out well for me, but I learned a
lot about wrestling. One don't mess with one who is
an actual wrestler. You don't want to mess with that.
They're small like my brother. He was always cutting weight
all the time. I think he was one o eight wow,
and then like one whatever. The next one was one
(07:27):
thirteen or something like that. When he was like a senior,
like just couldn't eat food. I mean, it was just ridiculous.
My mom would boil a Hamburger patty for him, boil it.
It was crazy. He's always cutting weight.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yeah, I don't mess with those guys though they will,
they will turn your eight. Anyway, We're gonna take a
quick break and when we come back, we'll get into
a little bit of these guys' stories and what brought
him to Camp Hope and what we're doing going forward.
So this is Road to Hope. Ridy will be right
back and we welcome you back Road to Hope Radio'd
(08:33):
glad to have you along. Quick reminder follow us. We
have Road to Hope Radio on Facebook. Follow us there.
We will always post a link to the shows. We
will also share some on occasion, we'll share some veteran
related news stories. At times. We will also share some
(08:56):
events going on about the PTSD Foundation for America. But
for more up to date on that if you just
follow PTSD Foundation so on Facebook. And on the X
formerly known as Twitter ptsd USA. Also on YouTube, ptsd
USA is our YouTube channel, so we encourage you to
(09:16):
sign up for those. Again, all that is free, as
we charge nobody anything. Everything we do is for free
for the veteran and for the families, So all of
that's free. So Facebook X formerly known as Twitter, YouTube,
ptsd USA websites ptsdusa dot org. That's a great way
(09:38):
for you to follow all the events going on in
support of the PTSD Foundation of America and Camp Hope.
Camp Hope is the interim housing facility and program that
we bring veterans in such as Kelly, from all across
the country, every era of combat, every military brand. We
(10:00):
haven't had Space Force yet. I'm sure, I'm sure it
will happen at some point in time, but we haven't
had anyone from Space Force yet, but we've covered all
the other branches, So again, all of that is absolutely free.
But you can get all the information about those programs,
not only Camp Hope, but also the support groups that
we run were we also have first responders law enforcement
(10:24):
involved in some of those groups. So all that information
is available at our website PTSDUSA dot org. Appreciate you
checking that out. One other thing I want to give
you is our combat Trauma Support line eight seven seven
seven one, seven seventy eight seventy three. You may not
(10:45):
be a VET. You may think you'll never need that number,
but please put that number in your phone. You never
know when you may come into contact with somebody that
could really use that lifeline. I guess you could say,
And then you don't want to be kicking yourself thinking well,
what was that number? So put it in your phone.
Eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three.
(11:06):
And here's the important thing to know about that number.
It's going to be answered twenty four to seven a
combat vet, so with someone who truly understands. This is
not a psych or someone just reading answers off of
a screen, some sort of AI driven sort of a thing.
A combat vet who's been through the program also has
received a great deal of training, suicide like assays, training
(11:32):
how to deal with all that. Eight seven seven seven
one seven seventy eight seventy three. A combat vet is
going to answer the phone, all right, Kelly, So, star
football guy, why'd you join the army?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I ended up getting some trouble in high school, and
my brother had already joined the army, and he came
home on hometown recruiting, and he brought home his recruiter,
so end up talking me into it. So I got
my ged and I left for the army. And I
want to be airborne, and so I did.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
When did you sign up in two thousand? In two thousand?
Why do you want to be airborne?
Speaker 5 (12:12):
Because my brother wasn't. I want her to be better
than him.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Step up. They gotta beat the brother. I love it.
Why did you choose to go airborne?
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Because excuse me, my name is Mack once again, because
my father was air calve and he always talked about
how did you used to be airborn? And I sound
like him because my dad didn't do it? So I
did it? Got you to prove? Yeah, sure of course.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yeah, a little little competition that gotta one up them
right to work more than beating all right? Uh so
you joined up in two thousand, you deployed in two
thousand and one. I mean that was that was fast.
There weren't many, right.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
We uh laid Constantina tripplestrand Constantina wire around four brag
and then in about forty five days we was in Usebekistan.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
You deployed pretty fast too, didn't you? Pretty early?
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Yeah? Sir, Well, year did you go? I went in
eighty four and Hondors was my first one, and then
we went, yeah for Honduras, and then we uh did
Panama way before we did the invasion, and then we
had a does a shell does a storm? I was
a line in the sand on that one. Yeah, and
that's where we stopped. I ROCKI freedom. Excuse me. It
(13:28):
was my last, very last one. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
What year was that?
Speaker 4 (13:31):
That was two thousand and one. I'm not mistaken.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, so very both of you guys, like very early
in all that very because there weren't many that were
deployed that quickly.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
No, no, because you know we we we were real
quick respondors, you know, eighteen hours or less, you know,
light infantry. Yeah, so we get there quicker than anybody else,
get everybody there on top on the trains and stuff
like that to get there.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Where'd you go into another one?
Speaker 5 (13:58):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (13:58):
We staged and used Bakistan for the initial push into
Bogram and then went in with tenth Mountain one hundred, first, uh,
third and seventh group when we staged in Bogram for
first boots on ground for Operation Anaconda, and that was
the initial push to get to push them out of
the mountains around Bogram and Marzak.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
So what were you doing what?
Speaker 5 (14:21):
I was supposed to just be a mechanic, but was.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Supposed to be doing something else than.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And they definitely they were a lot stronger force than
was to be expected. So we had like three helicopters
that got shot down that we had to go up
in the mountains and retrieve. And it was a whole
lot bigger operation than they anticipated in the beginning for Anaconda.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
So it was pretty crazy.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
So you went up after the after the choppers went down,
retrieving the bodies. I was meeting with the gold Star dad. Mmm,
so it was last week. His son was a marine
and was killed in a chopper over there. Crazy story
(15:14):
they gave him. You know, they're getting shot at all
the time, right, I mean, it's just it's kind of
a low easy target to shoot at, right, So they're
shooting these things all the time. You know. They told
the family, you know, mechanical failure, Like, yeah, well you
get hit enough times, I guess you have mechanical failure.
(15:35):
I guess that's how that rolls. I don't know if
that's what the story you want to tell, but that's
the story you want to tell. I guess the Marine
Corps had a reason for saying it that way. I
don't know. That doesn't makes much sense to me. Uh
So just that in and of itself is traumatic, just
having to deal with the fallout of that.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Yeah, I mean that we set up the first CCP
casualty collection point there.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
In Bogroom, and for.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
The first like, we couldn't land fixed wing because the
only runway that was there with Boggra met was so
mortar rid ol dat you couldn't land fixed wing, so
you could only land shanooks and coming like that for
the first couple of months there until it got repaired.
So getting people in and out of there wasn't really capable.
Could only get helos. So it wasn't the ideal situation
(16:25):
there in February of O two, you know, especially with snow.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
On the ground, and I cannot imagine it was an
ideal And you were there how long that one was?
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Eight months?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Yeah, yeah, I'll pass on that one if I can.
All right, So eight months there and then four six
total deployments for RACK Afghanistan. Right, yeah, okay, all right,
when did when did you begin to realize something was
(17:00):
up on your mental health?
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
As soon as I came back from the first.
Speaker 5 (17:03):
Tour, Yeah, I was. I was only eighteen, and.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
I was going to ask how old were you when
you hit So eighteen, that's way too young, that's just stupid.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
But everything revolved around drinking after that. And I mean
my dad drank. He was the commander at the VFW.
Back home, so when I'll go home to visit, of course,
everybody's putting tokens downs, drink tickets, you know, at the BFW.
So I didn't buy a single drink the whole time
I was home, and that was not normal. Get back
(17:31):
to Fort Brag and everybody's drinking every night, eighteen or not,
it didn't matter. And uh that's how you just cooked
and it was an everyday thing. We could drink. I mean,
smoke bomb Hill Class six had the highest alcohol sales
of the year.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
In the whole United States.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
I mean, they sell the most alcohol on Fort Brag
in the whole United States.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
For a reason.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, so all right, we're going to take a quick
news break for those of you on the nine to
five O you listen through podcasts. Just a quick little
musical interlude and we'll be back with more of Road
to Hope Radio in just a moment, and we welcome
(18:31):
you back Road to Hope Radio. Glad to have you along.
Got uh, Robert, I'd like to call Mac.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
So. United States Army Vet. Kelly also United States Army Vet,
both airborne jumping out of airplanes. Yeah, so you mentioned
after that very first deployment you you were already hitting
the bottle pretty hard.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Did you ever talked to anybody about anything in the
army or no?
Speaker 5 (19:03):
No, No, it seemed normal.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Because everybody, everybody was doing it was the normal way
to cope.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
So and even my brother who hadn't already deployed, he
hadn't had a first deployment yet, he had been in
longer and uh he was in Korea though, but when
I talked to him, he was doing the same thing,
still drink or drinking over there.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
So it seemed normal.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So you had five more deployments after that. What were
you doing in those other diployments?
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Uh, those are all with the USASAK. Some of them
was out doing some raids. The ones in Iraq were
a lot of driving. I was doing driving, going out,
picking up to our hits and stuff with the third group.
But uh, they're they're a little more in depth than
(19:57):
just going out and you know, just fired they were.
I really don't want to talk too much about it,
but it's fun.
Speaker 5 (20:08):
There. There's still stuff that I'm breaking through right now
with my.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Sure, not mechanics. Stuff not mechanics. Yeah, that signed up
to be a mechanic and here.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Is Yeah, well let's see. In Usak they send you
through a lot more training though. Like that's the best
thing about about USACK the money, the budget for schooling
is there. You can go to any school you want
when you're in Usaka is definitely a good place for training.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
And how long were you in the army to twenty fifteen?
Speaker 5 (20:41):
Twenty fifteen, so.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
You stayed awhile like mac mac went in state awhile?
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
How long were you.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
In mayby four to one when it came back.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah, that's a long time.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
So if you go in like you were eighteen when
you joined, and you're there for how long? Fourteen fifteen years,
fifteen years, that's all you knew as as an adult,
that's all you knew, and that's your world, that's your
whole frame of reference of seeing the world and existing
(21:19):
in the world. So we run into what had become
did become the obvious issue of our post nine to
eleven global war on terrorism, that reintegration into a civilian world.
I'm guessing your story is going to be similar to
(21:41):
most that I've heard in that timeframe. There wasn't a
whole lot Like you took a lot of classes for
training for doing your job in the army. What did
they do for you when it was time.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
To go, Oh really nothing?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah, that's kind of I assume that'll be there. Yeah,
so you're just well to the world. Yeah, yeah, because
it's interesting and you've seen it both as a coming
through the program but being now on the other side
and being a mentor and working with guys coming through
the program. These guys, I mean, so many of them
(22:14):
came through. They'd never bought an insurance policy, they'd never
done any of those things they did. It was all
done for them exactly right, And here's your clothes, Like, yeah, yeah,
it's a whole new world when you get out. How
much how much of that was a problem for I
mean clearly PTSD, but in addition to how much was
(22:36):
that an issue for either of you guys, Just all
of a sudden, you're a civilian now.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I mean one, you're basically like being kicked out the house,
and two where am I going to go? I mean, yeah,
we have family and stuff like that. But once you're
good for family, they don't understand you anymore. So what's
And I'm thinking, what's wrong with them? And all of
a sudden, you know what, My only friend is my addiction.
I find an addiction that I knew well in the
(23:02):
military at least I remember that, so I carry that
with me on the outside and find the wrong people
after that, and you find a different world. But to
you it is normal because you've never been in any
other world but the war and the dark side of
the dark side of the should I say civilian world?
It's just like being at the war, so you fit
right on that, you know, until you learn something to
(23:23):
new way, you get the faith back in your heart
and then you understand everything else around your end civilians,
but other than that, they throw you back to the walls. Basically,
I feel because when I was home in New York.
That was the jungle when the military left, let us go.
That's the jungle because you don't know where you're at,
trying to find yourself, trying to find people that understand you.
(23:44):
Scary to side.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
See how you were early thirties when you got out,
six deployments under your belt and you know, welcome to
the world. What what was it? I mean, you were
already using alcohol, you were doing that while you were in.
(24:11):
But once you came out of the out of the military,
what was your what was going on? What'd you do
when you got out? First? Did you get a job somewhere,
go out of school? What did you do?
Speaker 5 (24:22):
Yeah, I mean obviously I got a job.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
I ended up getting out on a five Dasha, which
is a family care plan because my wife had got sick.
She had got breast cancer and we had two kids,
so I couldn't take care of her and the kids
while I was active duties. So that's the reason why
I got out. We left Bragg and went back to
Georgia where she grew up. So that and getting out
on five Dasha family care plan, I was able to
(24:46):
get my separation bay.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
That's what helped us get our setup.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
So my first job once I got out was down
in Coming, Georgia working for some Belt Rentals. And like
you said, there's no transition from the military. So my
very first job was some Belt Rentals, which is an
amazing company, and I had in my first month, I
had two hr complaints from other people because I was
so abrasive, you know, being in the military. My whole
(25:12):
demeanor talking to somebody. You can't call somebody stupid, you know,
and they don't. That's highly frowned upon. So got these
young kids in there, and I expect them to have
the mentality and work ethic that I did and my
guys did when in the military.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Can't can't call somebody stupid and say.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
Hey, you know, even though he's acting like it, you know,
you can't do that. So it was a lot to
get myself a mac uh, I guess uh tailored to
civilian world and uh. But once I did, you know,
(25:50):
it took a little while, but I excelled. I mean,
became uh employee of the month five months in a row,
you know, once I learned how to mm hmm tailor
to it. So my drinking still was a daily thing,
even I mean the stressors of life instantly got worse.
You noticed, Sacre, she got the more stressors, and then
(26:13):
when she passed, it just everything overtook me. And that's
how Camp Hope had to fallen, because I lost.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Just control of everything.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
When did she pass?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Valentine's Day, twenty twenty two?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
So sorry, thank you, sir. I hate cancer me too.
I hate it in every way you possibly can. Okay,
So you're you come out of a you know, the
only career you knew at the time, military. You come
out because of the diagnosis of your wife's cancer. So
(26:52):
you're dealing with that. You're trying to figure out how
to get along in a civilian world and then eventually
lose your wife to the camp answer, that's a lot.
That's a lot on the plate. You said that was
in twenty two. What happened after that?
Speaker 3 (27:12):
I made it to about Christmas time of the end
of twenty two, and come January twenty three, I couldn't
make the hours at work to maintain the level that
I was providing for me and the kids started closet drinking,
you know, under the bed once I get the kids
to bed and stuff I'd hide in my room and
drink until I fell asleep. My mom saw the came
(27:34):
over to the house. All the liquor bottles that I
had hit under the bed caused concern. She was concerned
for the kids and started that whole thing, and it
got brought to the light. You know, what I did
in the dark was brought to the light, and which
was it needed to be. You know, I'm glad my
mom was there to care about me and started this
whole thing. So I went to a rehab up in
(27:56):
North Georgia and Helen called Jericho House, and that's that's
first time I opened a Bible. You know, I wasn't
raised in a religious house, so never really have religion
ever and opened the Bible up there in Jericho House,
and it was nice.
Speaker 5 (28:10):
I enjoyed it.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
And one of the things that I looked forward to
the most about coming out here to Camp Hope of
it being a faith based program and being a loan program,
because I only went to Jericho House for three months
and then I had made it nine months, was doing
pretty good and then I relapsed and then that's how
I ended up out here at Camp Hope with it
(28:32):
being a twelve month or seven or nine month, but
possible year program.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Sure. Yeah, we've had some take up basically up to
two years. We've had a couple guys to take them.
All Right, we're gonna take gonna take a quick break
here in just a moment. Just a reminder eight seven
seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three is the
Combat Trauma Support Line eight seven seven seven one seven
seventy eight seventy three websites PTSDUSA dot org. We're gonna
(28:58):
take a quick break. Be right back. More of Road
to Hope Radio. You know I need joll love.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
You got a.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Hold of me.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Jall you know that. And welcome back Road to Hope Radio.
Thank you again for sharing. If you'll just hit that
(29:33):
subscribe button wherever you listen to podcasts up the Road
to Hope Radio, if you hit that subscribe button, that
will automatically download, and we appreciate you sharing it. Look,
you're gonna come across people that maybe you don't know someone,
but maybe someone you know knows someone that needs what
we do PTSDUSA dot organ Again, we remove every barrier
(29:55):
we possibly can that would keep someone from coming. So,
uh did you come from Georgia? Okay? So you came
to us from so for instance, coming from Georgia or
in your case, coming from New York. Uh, we we
buy the airplane ticket, we'll get you here. We'll take
care of everything while here. Sometimes we eat pretty good too.
(30:15):
It's our our quote unquote tagline, uh, Hope and healing
for the unseen wounds of war, which you have TBII
well right, you know, so multiple diagnosis, Hope and Healing
for the Unseen Wounds of war. Uh, the unofficial taglines.
We like to eat uh. So we really appreciate some
of our partners who from time to time bring out
(30:38):
some amazing meals. We had one last week that was
just off the charts. Our friends at True Lucks brought
out some lobster and some some prime rib. It was
that was a day. That was a day right there.
Then Del Frisco's brought out dinner like this. That was
a day. Man. You guys live like kings Like that
(30:58):
was awesome. No, we don't. It doesn't happen all the time,
but we do eat good. I mean to say that
food's good all the time. We have a great chef
and you never know what it's going to be because you
never know what's going to be donated, but he's able
to turn it into something good each and every day.
I try to stay away around lunchtime because I just
(31:18):
I don't want to be tempted, Like, if I'm there
around lunch, I'm gonna want to at least look at it,
at it like what's going on. I try to avoid that.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
It's kind of hard to do.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, I'm sure, But one thing I don't want to
mention is so like the family support we want to
help the family members as well. So we have a
team at our organization that's complete. That's our whole job
is to support families while their loved one is in
(31:49):
the program, and you know, even both before and after.
So sometimes in the early years when I was running
a family group, sometimes it was the family member coming
to understand what happened to the loved one because you
talked about that a little while ago. The family just
didn't get it. They don't understand, right, and why would they.
(32:10):
So we were in those family support groups to help
them understand what happened to your Johnny when he came home.
We had both of his arms and legs and eyes
who looked good but different war changed them, and we
try to help the families understand what happened to their
Johnny when they came home from war. So those support
groups happen as well. Many times as a family member
(32:31):
that starts to get the understanding and the support before
the veteran never does. So we encourage you. You're a
family of a veteran that's struggling. I see this so
often in ours, particularly in our Vietnam that population. So
many times family members were watching and now you know,
(32:52):
when they came home from Vietnam. There was obviously what
happened here in this country which was unforgivable. The way
we welcome to our Vietnam veterans home is just uncompletely unforgivable.
But I think the VA and the country has learned
(33:12):
at least a little bit, not as much as you
would like to think, but the coming home issue and
what's going on and family members seeing the veterans and
now they hear about PTSD because it's become, you know,
a known thing, I'd say, over the last ten years
or so. It's everyone's aware. They don't necessarily understand it,
(33:36):
they at least have heard the terminology of PTSD and
post traumatic stress, so they at least are familiar with
that to to some point. But they say, oh, that's
my that's my dad, that's my granddad, that's exactly what's
going on. And they hear about all these years later, and
sometimes they're the ones that will reach out and get
support before the veteran ever does, and that could be
(33:58):
a great leading veteran getting help. Now, you'd gone to
a rehab you mentioned and stayed sober for a while,
how did you eventually hear about Camp Hope?
Speaker 3 (34:11):
By God's grace? Honestly, I had got in trouble. I
tried to commit suicide in my truck in a parking lot,
eight sleep meds and tried to drink a lot and
go to sleep where I want to wake up. Did
(34:32):
it strategically to where my life interns would still pay out,
you know, not eat a bullet or anything like that,
And somebody told me and going to ambulance and they
saved me. Ended up going to jail because I had
a liquor bottle April sixteenth of last year, and because
(34:52):
of the liquor bottle in the truck in a parking lot,
I ended up getting a d UI. Uh that's how
I ended up in jail, and my attorney turned me out,
told me about it, and uh, that's when the representative
Jason at Ohall County, Georgia came and talked to me
about it. And if I would have known about Camp
Hope as soon as Megan passed and I lost, you know,
(35:14):
my whole support system after my dad passed away. He
was my primary on my support system with everything that
happened to me in the military, you know, telling me
everything that I had done. It was my job, and
you know, I did what I had to do. And
then Megan, you know, she told me everything I've done
was you know, I did what I had to do.
And you know, when she gone, every everything that always
(35:37):
supported me was gone. You know, I smoked and then
when I lost all that, if I would have known
about Camp Hope, then would have been saving grace for me.
Speaker 5 (35:44):
But that's how I found out.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
We have a great team in Atlanta, yes, sir, a
great team. They're rocking it. Absolutely, they do great, great
work in our Atlanta outreach and yes, what is one
of the things we often talk about is like how
can we get and we're talking with some folks currently
at the Fort Cavasa's formerly Fort Hood. But how can
(36:11):
we can get involved in their transition out of the military,
How can we get to meet them there in hopes
that we can help guys like you before you have
that criminal activity, whatever that may happen to be, or
other issues. We want to try to get out in
(36:32):
front of that. So that's something we're constantly working on.
So you when did you get to Camp.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
Uh August ninth? Okay, was the first time?
Speaker 2 (36:44):
What what are you learning? What's what's changing for you?
Speaker 3 (36:52):
I'm learning a lot being appeered a peer, having somebody
talk to. Since Megan I got sick in twenty fifteen,
I really had lost connectivity with my brothers with a friend.
I mean, she had been literally my best friend everything,
the one person I talked to, and I haven't had
that in a long time until I got here and
(37:13):
started making friends and having mentors to talk to and
just building relationships again. I'm learning that I'm learning to
trust people again and having a love for one another
and faith in other people again.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
What's your hope going forward.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
To continue this, continue my faith, continue bettering myself, and
continuing to want to live a better happier life with
joy in every single day.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Well, keep doing the work.
Speaker 5 (37:51):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
As you can see with who you showed up to
the show with, it actually can work again, it can
happen and doesn't mean life doesn't have its moments because
we all we're all living life in a world that's
really broken. So we all have all that stuff that
goes on. But you can maintain one sobriety, you can
(38:13):
do that. But you can also maintain, uh, you know,
an attitude and an outlook of hope and you know
some some happiness along the way. So keep following that
guy right there is he's a great example. He's a
great example of what can what can be done when
you do the work. Thank you, guys both for sharing
(38:33):
a little bit of your story today. Really do appreciate it. Again,
wherever you listen to podcasts, just look for Road to
Hope Radio. We appreciate it. If you hit that subscribe button. Uh,
it's a great way to share our story with someone
who maybe needs us. And let's let's let's get that
story out there before they are standing in front of
a judge. Let's get that story out there, so help
(38:53):
us do that. PTSD USA dot org is the website,
and we thank you for joining us on Road to
Hope Radio. Look forward to being with you getting next
week for more of a Road to Hope.
Speaker 5 (39:11):
Mama Jo
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