Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Troops that have been to war and now they're back and.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Think and be grateful for their service, sacrifice, love for
their country, just unselfishness, all that they do for us.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
We forget that those people exist.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We know them as the Army, Navy, air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil.
Speaker 5 (00:38):
Dogs, and so much more.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters,
sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These
veterans answered the call. Now we answer theirs today are
the best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today,
(01:06):
we honor them, and we start them. David Malsby is
your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans.
As together we are building the road to hope, and.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
We are glad to have you. Long on a Sunday,
those of you listening live on the KPRC, the nine
to five Oho, and the AM Dial, thank you for
joining us this afternoon. Those of you listening through the
Magic podcast, thank you for sharing after you listen with
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(01:45):
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(02:07):
our friends at a Corey Diamond and Design make us
still possible each and every week. Ac Ri I a
Corey Diamond and Design two eight one four eight two
forty seven fifty five and are awesome friends at Oopssteam
dot com two eight one eight two two zero five
six one. We all have those Oops moments in life.
(02:27):
You want to get in contact with our great friends
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(02:50):
supporters of all things PTSD Foundation of America. And it's
just a beautiful, beautiful location, great people in the community.
You're going to love it. Republic Grand Ranch dot com.
And as we talk a little bit about what goes
on around Camp Hope, PTSD Foundation of America for information
(03:10):
on all of our programs only Camp Hope, but also
our outreach programs for our combat vets, law enforcement first
responders as well as family members, friends. We have all
kinds of support groups that are available. All that information
is on our website PTSD USA dot org. So I
just think post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD USA dot org
(03:34):
and everything we do for our veterans and for their
family members that zero cost to them. So we appreciate
very very much those of you who support us and
make all these things possible. And in fact, we'll talk
about one of those here in the course of the show.
But right now, let's jump in and introduce who we
have with us on the show today. Back from the
(03:56):
other side of the Mason Dixon Line. It's been a
little bit Roberts. Good to see you, sir.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
It's always good to see you, sir.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
How you been?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
I've betten grace, sir, and when I see you now,
I'm even better.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Remind folks who you are, where you're from, where you served?
Speaker 5 (04:11):
What's gonna come from? Bronx, New York. My name is
Robert McLean. Camp calls me mac, Sir. That does a show?
Does a storm? H Grenada, Honduras? You consider me an
old soldier, a paratrooper? Do I die?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (04:25):
If you don't know what that is? That's airborne. That's
my short bio.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Airborne. We'll fall out of the sky. Hey, you call
it what you want, sir. Yeah, we get there. Yeah,
it's got to be good on the knees in the.
Speaker 5 (04:38):
Back right now. It is Sycaster anyway.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah, you're paying for it very much. Also on the
show with Us, we have Chris who is currently uh
in our residential program at Camp Hope. Chris, want to
introduce yourself. My name is Chris Hailey and where are
you from? I'm from Mississippi. All right, glad to have
you back. And you served in the Army, Army National Guard. Okay,
(05:06):
when where did you deploy?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Two thousand and seven eight?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Oh, you just kept going back. I keep going back.
I was stubborn. Stubborn?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Is that the volunteering?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
You volunteers? Like, what else am I gonna do? I'm from Mississippi.
There's nothing to do in Mississippi, Shy.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
I love Missippi, budd, It's uh, not a.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Lot to do there.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Like driving through Mississippi. It's beautiful country, pretty drive, Robert.
You ever been in Missippi?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
And I passed me my river in mirror, sir.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Just kept going that quick. So I'm not stopping here.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
I know, I know my places.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
No, it's a beautiful it's a beautiful spot it is.
And some great people. I've met some wonderful people there.
All right, So when did you join the army?
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Two thousand and five?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Five? Yes, sir, look right out of high school? Yes, sir?
Why'd you decide to join the army?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
We were at war?
Speaker 4 (06:10):
And I've known people that were that that was a
little bit older than me, that had joined the Missippi
National Guard and were in Iraq at that time. And
I looked up to him and I was like, well,
I might as well do that too, you know, And
so I did.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Gotcha? So how many tours?
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Two tours? About fifteen months apiece. Yeah, give or tape
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Okay, so almost three years you sir, Yeah, not not
on my bucket list at all. So we'll get into
a little bit of your story. When Robert to speak
up over there, ensure a little bit of his story
today too. Reminder, as we do go through these stories,
we understand these can be for some who hear these
(07:01):
stories and uh, it just causes some issues. Eight seven
seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. That is
our combat Trauma Support line. What we want you to
know about that is it will be answered anytime of
day or night by a combat vet. So that's eight
seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. That
(07:23):
number may be for you, it may not be for you.
It may be for somebody that you come into contact
with and you find out they're struggling, and when I
have in your phone so you can share it. Eight
seven seven seven one seven PTSD. We're gonna take a
quick break and be right back with more of Road.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
To Hope Radio. She grew up in Indiana Town.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I had a good looking mom, never was around, but.
Speaker 6 (07:54):
Screw up charl and screw up right with the Indiana.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Boys on the Indiana Now you know, we are based
in Houston. We have locations, not residential locations, but outreach
(08:21):
locations and a few different cities across the state of
Texas and across the country, Atlanta in particular, the Tampa,
Florida area. A week ago we were in Tampa, Florida
area for a great Thunderings event out there that supported
that particular outreach chapter, and they did just a fantastic job.
(08:46):
A lot of wonderful people that helped make that a
possibility community coming together, and I think that's so critical
for people to understand that it's not just leave it
up to you know, ever, whether it's the VA, and
this isn't anock against the VA or anybody else just
want to always leave things up to other people. But
(09:07):
our veterans served, all of us, and to just turn
our head and look the other way, that's not conducive
to the healthy support that is needed for our veteran community.
And when I say veteran community, I mean not only
those who served, but also their family members, their friends,
(09:32):
the veteran community. When someone is struggling, it affects the family,
it affects the workplace, it affects that entire community. So
when we talk about the veteran and veteran community, we
talk about it's all of them, and it takes all
of us because they have served all of us. They
(09:54):
have sacrificed for all of us, and it is incumbent
upon us if we care to maintain the freedoms and
the liberties that we enjoy in this country. Is incumbent
upon us to make sure that our veterans and their
families are properly taken care of and supported. And to that,
(10:17):
I want to take just a minute, excuse me, take
just a minute to say a big, big thank you
to some folks who really really stepped up in a
very big way. I don't know if you've heard or not,
but occasionally in the Houston area we have things called hurricanes.
This past year, we had a storm I can't even
pronounce that I've never heard of before much of the area.
(10:43):
Ye know, one time there was over one million people
who are without power in the Houston area. I had
Camp Hope for instance. We were without power basically for
almost a week, and we have a building that everybody
can get to that has a generator and backup power.
(11:04):
Secures our food, make sure our food is protected. But
that was all we had. So some wonderful friends, Jeff
and Gina Metzler. Jeff is owner of Lone Star Electric Supply.
Who is I don't know how they're doing. They're growing
at a very rapid rate. But for the last nine
(11:27):
years they have become supporters of the mission at Camp Hope,
and they have other things that they're involved in. Really
that our primary philanthropy goes toward. But they have come
alongside us and helped us in so so many ways,
(11:49):
so including Robert. I don't know if you've seen it
or not, but the brand new van throughout Yes, you
see that. We missed it. Huh, who missed it? You think?
Speaker 5 (11:59):
Get in it?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
What do you think? It's beautiful? It's beautiful. You like it.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
I like it so much. We all got DIBs.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I'm going to get kissed and drive it next Well.
I told him to not take it to the equine therapy. Definitely,
everybody drag their stuff back into the van. You know,
let's keep it clean for at least a week. Yeah,
but it's absolutely beautiful. When we talked about it, we
(12:27):
had talked the they said bring a few ideas things
that you guys need. So talked to him at lyunch
a little while back and mentioned, uh, the van, and look,
we're taking guys all over the place, picking them up
at the airport, taking them to the airport to go home,
and they complete the program, take them to parole, taking
them to the VA for medical appointments, disability appointments, all
(12:51):
kinds of things. Sometimes it's fun things sometimes, you know,
I mentioned equine therapy. Sometimes Max taking them to a
baseball game or whatever it may happen to be, and
we get to watch the Astros beat down on Yankees,
and that's always just a little bit of extra fun
just to watch that take place. But we put a
lot of miles, we put a lot of wear and
(13:12):
tear on those vehicles. And so when we first started
talking about it, like we know, let's let's find a van,
they kind of find the van. Well, you know, tell
us how much it is, we'll write check. So cool.
Nobody had a van, so they said, well, we know
some folks, some particular dushit they called them. I was like, nope,
can't find one anywhere. So they actually had to order it.
(13:33):
So it took months from the time that they pulled
the trigger on doing that for us, actually having it built,
then shipped directly to us, and then had it wraps.
But it's absolutely beautiful, but it was built for us.
It's like the Camp Hope Fan is the coolest thing
in the world. But then last week, back to the
whole electrical system issue, they provided a brand who is
(13:57):
just a massive generator. I don't know. I'm not into electricity,
so I don't understand all the killer wats and all
that stuff anyway, but it will basically power the rest
of our campus and absolutely no cost, So I cannot
begin to think enough our friends Jeff and Gina Metzler
(14:19):
Lone Star Electric, anytime we've ever done anything on our campus,
he always if you need any kind of electrical supply,
just send me the list. We got it taken care
of if you want to have to pay for it.
So it's friends like that that enable us to make
sure we stretch every dollar that comes in the door
as far as we possibly can, and so forever grateful
(14:43):
for our friends at Lone Star Electric Supply. If you
ever are in a business where you are purchasing electrical supplies,
I hope you'll at least give them an opportunity to
earn your business. One they're fantastic people. Two you're not
going to get a better product or better SERVI and
three they support They support our veterans in a big,
(15:06):
big way. So if you share that value, at least
give them the opportunity to earn your business. And if
you need to direct contact, I'm happy to do so. Facebook,
Hope excuse me, Road to Hope Radio. Just send us
a message. I'd be happy to connect you directly to Jeff,
he owns the place. So happy to do so. Also
(15:29):
on Twitter and Facebook, PTSD USA, PTSD USA, and again
on our websites ptsd usa dot org. Okay, so you
joined in what year again, Chris? November five five? And
when was your first deployment two thousand and seven? Okay,
(15:49):
and it was roughly fifteen months roughly. What were you
doing that first deployment?
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Route Clarence. We drove our thirty ones and uh looked
for ads.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
That sounds like a fun job. Well, it's funny story.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
When I volunteered, they said that I would be driving
the buffalo, and in my private's mind, I thought it
was the water buffalo. To pull the water buffalo for
potable water. But then I found out that it was
the big vehicle with the robot arm that looked in
blast holes, and that by that I had already signed
the papers, so it was too.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Late, so you were driving it.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I drove it a few times, but I went mainly
drove the RG thirty one. They had a V shaped
bottom that was designed to blow up because the blast
falls a path of least resistance.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
So do you have any experience and how that operated? Yes, sir,
we uh, it really was.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It had an air brake.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
It was just easy to drive, you know, I mean,
uh but uh, and I gunned. I was a floater.
I would drive and going for people that would go
and leave for R and R. I would go right.
They used to rub my head for the look because
I was I never got personally hit by ID.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
But everybody else did. Oh well, it was crazy. I
understand why they would rub your head for that. Yeah,
because something that rub off on me. Yeah, all right.
The reminder eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight
seventy three. That is our combat Trauma Healing Line Answer
twenty four to seven by Combat bet eight seven seven
(17:34):
seven one, seven, seventy eight, seventy three, and again for
more information on Camp Hope our residential program the last
six to nine months ish. Sometimes they're up there for
two years, even at zero cost. He a veteran the family,
PTSDUSA dot org. We'll be right back place now.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Baby, it's their good time.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Man, who's going to steal the show?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
No, baby, it's.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
The good time made.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
And we welcome you back road to Hope Radio. It
is uh, it's rodeo time in Houston, Texas. You've never
been a part of it here. There's no way to
explain it. You just have to experience it. I heard
it described one time by some of her friends in
leadership at HPD several years ago, like, if you take
(18:36):
the super Bowl and you do that every single day
for three weeks, that's kind of what it's like, which
is true. It's an amazing, amazing thing to see and
I'd never seen anything like it. And you know, you
hear the rodeo. I've been to a lot of rodeos,
(18:56):
not like this one. It's a little different. It's a
little different. You ever been to the rodeo here?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Robert?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Uh? No, sir, Well, we got to fix that.
Speaker 5 (19:05):
I'm a city boy, so I know that a lot
of fix is gonna have to take place, but me
to actually be in one, I hate to say that.
I'm in Texas. I think that's who I gotta watch.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yeah, the grace and mercy extends only so far with
some people.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
I'm a veteran.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
You gonna lean on that one, huh. Now, we gotta
get you. We gotta get you to experience that. It's
it's an experience. Yeah, I'm at the age now where
once is enough, Like, yeah, I'm good. I was like,
I've seen that. Yeah, no, thanks, no anymore, give a try.
I'll go check it out. But it is quite the
(19:44):
h It is quite the experience. It takes over the city.
Everything's about the rodeo, including traffic, right crazy. Yeah, the
trail riders coming into town.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
I did like watching it. It's not sitting behind it.
I didn't like it, but watching them go by was beautiful. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Yeah, Well, it's not the funnest thing if you're the driver,
because you don't get the rig. You're just you're just
It's something very out of the ordinary. So it's kind
of messes with the brain and messes with traffic, because
Houston traffic's to the craziest thing in the world. It's
not the worst traffic in the world. Some people think
so when they say that. Okay, you've never been in
(20:26):
very many places, but Houston traffic is very interesting. Somebody
has a flat tire. It blocks up a twelve lane
highway in a heartbeat for an hour, just because somebody
had a flat tire. It's just insane to me. Everybody
has stopped and look at everything. Robert, remind me, okay,
(20:47):
you were in a shield as a storm.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Okay, what was your job when you were deployed?
Speaker 5 (20:54):
My job was I was with eighty second Airborn to
get started with. And as you know, eighty second air
By will be anywhere in eighteen hours or less. So
you get the pizza, the less next pieza for free.
We'll go ahead, touch ground, touchdown. I was three quarter
eighty a. I was a stinger and I'm a crew
chief and I had a team personnel that you know,
(21:14):
handled the stinger. My job was to identify any aircraft
and you have to know each and every name of
the aircraft and normal clictures of them and give the
engagement orders. Once to give the engagement orders. My my
stinger crew chief will go ahead and release the missiles.
Go ahead and take down the object. That's pretty much
(21:36):
putting our troops in danger. Okay, aircraft, And how long
are you there, desert? I was over there? What one year?
Two months? Yeah, I was the first one in eighty
eight when with the line in the sand and fifty paratroopers. Yeah,
(21:57):
but they made it to be like twenty five thousand. Yeah.
Times magazine made a story of us.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Yeah, I remember, I remember. Okay, so a little over
a year you're there, Yes, sir, you come home changed
by what you experienced. How did you deal with that
when you came home?
Speaker 5 (22:26):
Tell you truth?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I was.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
I thought I was normal a lot of things. I
started taking on a lot of bad habits because I
was dangerous. I lived dangerously, but I thought I was normal.
But my normalcy got me involved in addiction. I wouldn't
wish on anybody which was alcohol. And that's the thing
(22:48):
about in the military. Everybody drinks, so you never know
you have a problem. So you'd be in the civilian world,
they won't see people that normally drink, like like fishes.
So anyway, I didn't know I had a problem till
my first wife. She identified it, but she didn't stay
around long enough to see where I would be today
because she passed on. It was my second wife that
(23:09):
actually got me the Camp Hope. She was my girl,
well my girlfriend beforehand, but she she did all the
paperwork and everything. I wound up in the hospital for
three months, cych Ward and this is after an opposed
alcohol induced coma.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Was back in New York.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Yeah, okay, yeah, So what happened was I wound up
in the hospital. This was around COVID time, and they
couldn't get me on any kind of flights until COVID
was pretty much over. I was lucky once we had
a break in COVID that got me here to the camp.
It was perfect. It was October twenty twenty one, twenty two. Well,
I know, I've been here for three months, three years,
(23:49):
and by getting here, I didn't want I did not
want to come here. I was very Once she let
me out of the hospital, I was trying to run,
but the drivers from the outreach from Camp Hope, well
you know, drives down the other day it was able
to roll me up and get me on a plane.
And I didn't want to be here, And I think
I could say that bust all that comes in. They
(24:13):
don't want to be because you've never been here. We
don't want to lose.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
That because you didn't think you needed it.
Speaker 5 (24:17):
No, I didn't think I needed it. One Two, I'm
in a different location. It's not like being at war,
being in a different location. Here, I'm stripped on my weapon.
My weapons was my addiction. Well I'm here and today
see where I'm at.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
And it can be very cliches, but to get from
that point to where you are today, because life continues
on even I mean you go through Camp Hope, which
life happens while you're at Camp Hope. I think we
talked about that last week. Things happen while you're there.
Other traumas can happen while you're there. We've had, you know,
(24:56):
guys in our program have des in their family while
they're in the pro and that type of thing. So
life continues on, doesn't just stop because magically because you're
a camp and after you graduate, same things. True. None
of us have perfect easy lives. It's just not the case.
(25:18):
So what what what when you look back on it?
Not the Camp Hope is the fix? For everything imaginable
in your life. But what was it from Camp Hope
that helped you deal with some of the things you've
had to deal with since, which you know includes some
some health issues that we won't get into, but just
(25:38):
some stuff that's going on in your life. What's what
it was it you learned while you were at camp
that's helped you do that.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
What I learned a Camp Hope a person was to
actually be open to a person. I had to open
to a person because I was I suffered from from isolation,
had no friends. The bottle was my friend. Once I
got to Camp Hope. It took one person that connected
to me and pretty much kept me here because I
was gonna find a way out. I stayed the Camp Hope.
(26:08):
I battled. I battled. It was hard, It was hard.
It was hard. Well, like I said, the unity, the
camaraderie of fighting another war with my comrades, not a
war overseas, but a war right here in my yard,
(26:29):
their yard, fighting it together, getting past it, to have
a new new story to talk about, which is a
good story rather than a bad story. What led to bad,
bad choices was the biggest thing that I learned that and
that's why I will continue to give as a vessel
that God put me in to help the next one.
Because this, this camp really helped me. This is the
(26:52):
real new army for damaged veterans that's come back.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Well, and there's something there is said that I just
want to pick up on as we close up. Well,
we've got a couple of minutes still. But people can
look at any given situation and look for a way
like look for a way in or look for a
way out like you can if we look at it
(27:22):
from the vets situation such as your own where you
were struggling self medication and that kind of thing. An
opportunity comes along that you don't know that much about.
So it's fair, why would I want to go do this?
What'll go do that far? Why would I want to
go do something that long? So you can look for
(27:45):
the way out, or you can look for the way in.
I'm going to look for the way to try to
find a way to change my life, change the trajectory
of my life. Or i can look for you know,
find there's always a million and one excuses not to
do it. So there's that from the civilian side, the
(28:06):
supporter side Side says, we love our vets. Got the
bumper sticker great takes more than a bumper sticker. Looking
for a way out, well, you know price of eggs.
You can look for a way in, find a way
to help, look for a way to support. Maybe it's
just a hug, maybe it's a note, maybe it's baking
(28:28):
some cookies, whatever it may be. Looking for a way
in ptsdusa dot org. Again is the website ptsd usa
dot or. We have an urgent needs list there for
all the things going on at Camp Hope. A lot
of opportunity there to support through just purchasing things, for instance,
from Amazon wish lists and having them ship straight to us.
(28:50):
Lots of ways to support ptsdusa dot org. We right
back with more of Road to Hoope Radio.
Speaker 6 (29:07):
Yeah, and we welcome you back Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Just a reminder, wherever you listen to podcasts, if you
would just do a quick search Road to Hope Radio,
it'll pop up. You'd hit that subscribe button. That would
be really really helpful to us. After you hear the
show each and every week, you would please share that
it would not be the first time for us to
(29:40):
hear that someone learned about us through the podcast, So big,
big thank you to those of you who listen and
share Road to Hope Radio. Chris, we were talking about
your deployments and some of the route clearance and things
that you were doing. When did you get out of
(30:01):
the army two thousand and seventeen seventeen. How long was
it before you realized there was some mental health stuff
going on?
Speaker 4 (30:16):
Probably twenty seventeen, so failed a couple of drug tests,
and of course I have been in so long and
I had started. Plus I went to the VA and
all this stuff wherever, and the the guys that were
(30:41):
over me, they were like they just let me ets
out because they're like they we'd been known each other
for so long. Some of them went to school with
and then in the guard with, the deployed with, and
they just kind of I got lucky, and life just
was terrible. I mean, you know, it's like I didn't
(31:05):
have that comradeship.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
You know.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Drugs were like the only thing I had, you know,
and it was just a band aid. It didn't work.
You know, the civilian employers didn't really get it.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
You know.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
I had a really good pavilion employer at people a
little concrete plant, and he kind of understood, or at
least he tried, and he's actually he told.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Me when I got all my VA beat.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Benefits and stuff, I still worked there for a couple
of months and he told me to go take a
vacation figure stuff out. And I did, but instead of
going fishing or hunting like he told me to do,
I discovered crystal meth.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
And it's been a downhill struggle ever since.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
How did you hear about Camp?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I was in Austin, Texas, and.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
I became I had relapsed really bad, uh, and I
went to this place. I can't remember where what it
was called, but it was like a mental health emergency
place or whatever, and they told me about Camp Hope
and I came the first time, and uh, about four
(32:28):
years ago, and it's been like every year I've been
coming back. I had a lot of stuff I pulled
me on the outside and entered conflict and everything. But
this time is different, you know, because every time I
got better. Look, Camp Hope helped me every single time,
(32:49):
and my communications got better, you know, and I had
people I could actually talk to, you know, that gave
it that care, you know, and Yeah, Robert.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
From a mentor's standpoint, how critical do you think it
is for veterans to hear and understand? Look, we don't
look at that Chris's store. We don't look at that
as a fair. We look at that as a success.
He continued to make the choice to come back and
do what he needed to do next. But those guys
(33:22):
sometimes can feel so my marginalized and overuse word swept aside.
Maybe he's a better picture judged, and quite often it's
them judging themselves and assuming everybody else is How critical
is it for people to know and understand, Hey, look,
(33:44):
we know there's going to be some bumps and bruises
along the way. You're always welcome.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Good question and the good answers say. The answer I
can say to this is, here is a tomorrow. All
I've been through it. Take my hand, let me guid
you where I'm at. You can keep coming back until
you get it right. But remember you don't have us
(34:11):
so many times, so we continue to strive to help
the broken veteran. I'm still broken, and to continue to
You know, if you keep feeding somebody repetiously, they'll get
it because you get tired of being tired, and then
you'll start picking up something new than doing what you've
(34:32):
been doing, which has always led you back down the
wrong path. So we give you know, we give it on.
And I don't want to say the word hope, because
we know God covers all the miracles that we have.
So I want to say that with the blessings that
we've been granted, granted from God, is that we can
be perfect vessels for these veterans because we are veterans,
(34:54):
so we hear you.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
We are.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
We're not in the other country and we don't know
a your language. We know your language and we speak it.
And by us speaking the same language, we can understand
each other and guides each other through the finish line.
Each one helps each one.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Chris, I don't remember how long you've been back this time,
but what's what are you learning right now that's helping you?
Speaker 4 (35:18):
How to love myself, you know, forgive myself, and how
it's actually open up the people and be vulnerable and
share things. I shared things this time with some people
that I haven't shared the last few times. You know
(35:40):
that was here and I think that this time is
a little bit That's one reason why it's different you know,
I'm trying. I'm finally surrendering completely instead of just you know, partial.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Surrendering, you know, digging a little deeper and yes, sir,
divulging all of it instead of summer most sir. Mhmm.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
What are you?
Speaker 3 (36:08):
What are you hoping to get out of this?
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Hoping to get out of this a new way to live?
Speaker 3 (36:15):
You know.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Camp Hope is a great place, but it's a bubble
and uh it's a great place to uh to set
the push the pause button on your line, figure some
stuff out. But the thing is, it's the it's just uh,
the armory is to supply, you know, where you get
all the tools that I you know that I need
(36:38):
to be able to make it on the outside. But
when I get graduates, so I have to make kind
of like my own mini miniature Camp Hope, you know,
and take the tools that I learned and actually apply
them and build connections and uh Marcotics anonymous and church
and other you know, places that are healthy.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
You mentioned this, the self love, forgiving yourself. How are
you doing on that forgiveness in particular?
Speaker 4 (37:09):
Well, my thing you know, for me, I look at
well Jesus has forgiven me already, you know. And if
He's forgiven me, then why can't I forgive myself? You know?
And I have to remind that myself that a lot,
because the one thing I figured out with forgiveness is
(37:32):
I might you know, with other people that I forgive,
including myself, is that sometimes those feelings come back multiple times,
you know, And even though I might feel good for
a season and then I start feeling down on myself again.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
And so what I've learned.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Is if I replace feeling sorry for myself and thinking
and dwelling on the past and having resentments and stuff,
if I replace that with being grateful and you know,
in worshiping God and it's been in fellowship with other people,
you know, then the resentment for myself kind of fades,
(38:13):
if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
You know. This is a daily process.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
It is, indeed, and very well said. Oh you all
have work to do on that, all of us do.
I think all of us have two different degrees some
difficulty with forgiving ourselves. Sometimes forgive everybody else, but not ourselves.
So keep doing the good work, keep and it is
every single day. Mac. Love you buddy, great to see again.
(38:41):
Thanks for helping us out today, Big a reminder wherever
you listen to podcast, look for Road Hope Radio. Please subscribe,
get it downloaded, share it frequently, regularly, often, and again
websites ptsdusa dot org. Thanks for joining us this week.
We look forward to being with you again each and
(39:02):
every week for more of Road to Hope Radio
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Troops that have been to war and now they're back and.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Think and be grateful for their service, sacrifice, love for
their country, just unselfishness, all that they do for us.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
We forget that those people exist.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We know them as the Army, Navy, air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors, devil.
Speaker 5 (00:38):
Dogs, and so much more.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
We call them fathers, brothers, sons and husbands, mothers, daughters,
sisters and wives. We call them friend and neighbor. These
veterans answered the call. Now we answer theirs today are
the best our country has to offer, and we love them. Today,
(01:06):
we honor them, and we start them. David Malsby is
your host, and he welcomes you to this community of veterans.
As together we are building the road to hope, and.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
We are glad to have you. Long on a Sunday,
those of you listening live on the KPRC, the nine
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(02:07):
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six one. We all have those Oops moments in life.
(02:27):
You want to get in contact with our great friends
Oops Steam dot Com and then it's time to get
that uh take a look at building that dream home.
Build get the dream property. Maybe you need to get
the dream property now, and it's going to be a
little while before you can build the home. That's fine.
Republic Grand Ranch, you get it while you can. Great
(02:50):
supporters of all things PTSD Foundation of America. And it's
just a beautiful, beautiful location, great people in the community.
You're going to love it. Republic Grand Ranch dot com.
And as we talk a little bit about what goes
on around Camp Hope, PTSD Foundation of America for information
(03:10):
on all of our programs only Camp Hope, but also
our outreach programs for our combat vets, law enforcement first
responders as well as family members, friends. We have all
kinds of support groups that are available. All that information
is on our website PTSD USA dot org. So I
just think post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD USA dot org
(03:34):
and everything we do for our veterans and for their
family members that zero cost to them. So we appreciate
very very much those of you who support us and
make all these things possible. And in fact, we'll talk
about one of those here in the course of the show.
But right now, let's jump in and introduce who we
have with us on the show today. Back from the
(03:56):
other side of the Mason Dixon Line. It's been a
little bit Roberts. Good to see you, sir.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
It's always good to see you, sir.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
How you been?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
I've betten grace, sir, and when I see you now,
I'm even better.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Remind folks who you are, where you're from, where you served?
Speaker 5 (04:11):
What's gonna come from? Bronx, New York. My name is
Robert McLean. Camp calls me mac, Sir. That does a show?
Does a storm? H Grenada, Honduras? You consider me an
old soldier, a paratrooper? Do I die?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (04:25):
If you don't know what that is? That's airborne. That's
my short bio.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Airborne. We'll fall out of the sky. Hey, you call
it what you want, sir. Yeah, we get there. Yeah,
it's got to be good on the knees in the.
Speaker 5 (04:38):
Back right now. It is Sycaster anyway.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah, you're paying for it very much. Also on the
show with Us, we have Chris who is currently uh
in our residential program at Camp Hope. Chris, want to
introduce yourself. My name is Chris Hailey and where are
you from? I'm from Mississippi. All right, glad to have
you back. And you served in the Army, Army National Guard. Okay,
(05:06):
when where did you deploy?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Two thousand and seven eight?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Oh, you just kept going back. I keep going back.
I was stubborn. Stubborn?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Is that the volunteering?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
You volunteers? Like, what else am I gonna do? I'm from Mississippi.
There's nothing to do in Mississippi, Shy.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
I love Missippi, budd, It's uh, not a.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Lot to do there.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Like driving through Mississippi. It's beautiful country, pretty drive, Robert.
You ever been in Missippi?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
And I passed me my river in mirror, sir.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Just kept going that quick. So I'm not stopping here.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
I know, I know my places.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
No, it's a beautiful it's a beautiful spot it is.
And some great people. I've met some wonderful people there.
All right, So when did you join the army?
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Two thousand and five?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Five? Yes, sir, look right out of high school? Yes, sir?
Why'd you decide to join the army?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
We were at war?
Speaker 4 (06:10):
And I've known people that were that that was a
little bit older than me, that had joined the Missippi
National Guard and were in Iraq at that time. And
I looked up to him and I was like, well,
I might as well do that too, you know, And
so I did.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Gotcha? So how many tours?
Speaker 4 (06:34):
Two tours? About fifteen months apiece. Yeah, give or tape
a little bit.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Okay, so almost three years you sir, Yeah, not not
on my bucket list at all. So we'll get into
a little bit of your story. When Robert to speak
up over there, ensure a little bit of his story
today too. Reminder, as we do go through these stories,
we understand these can be for some who hear these
(07:01):
stories and uh, it just causes some issues. Eight seven
seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. That is
our combat Trauma Support line. What we want you to
know about that is it will be answered anytime of
day or night by a combat vet. So that's eight
seven seven seven one seven seventy eight seventy three. That
(07:23):
number may be for you, it may not be for you.
It may be for somebody that you come into contact
with and you find out they're struggling, and when I
have in your phone so you can share it. Eight
seven seven seven one seven PTSD. We're gonna take a
quick break and be right back with more of Road.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
To Hope Radio. She grew up in Indiana Town.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
I had a good looking mom, never was around, but.
Speaker 6 (07:54):
Screw up charl and screw up right with the Indiana.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Boys on the Indiana Now you know, we are based
in Houston. We have locations, not residential locations, but outreach
(08:21):
locations and a few different cities across the state of
Texas and across the country, Atlanta in particular, the Tampa,
Florida area. A week ago we were in Tampa, Florida
area for a great Thunderings event out there that supported
that particular outreach chapter, and they did just a fantastic job.
(08:46):
A lot of wonderful people that helped make that a
possibility community coming together, and I think that's so critical
for people to understand that it's not just leave it
up to you know, ever, whether it's the VA, and
this isn't anock against the VA or anybody else just
want to always leave things up to other people. But
(09:07):
our veterans served, all of us, and to just turn
our head and look the other way, that's not conducive
to the healthy support that is needed for our veteran community.
And when I say veteran community, I mean not only
those who served, but also their family members, their friends,
(09:32):
the veteran community. When someone is struggling, it affects the family,
it affects the workplace, it affects that entire community. So
when we talk about the veteran and veteran community, we
talk about it's all of them, and it takes all
of us because they have served all of us. They
(09:54):
have sacrificed for all of us, and it is incumbent
upon us if we care to maintain the freedoms and
the liberties that we enjoy in this country. Is incumbent
upon us to make sure that our veterans and their
families are properly taken care of and supported. And to that,
(10:17):
I want to take just a minute, excuse me, take
just a minute to say a big, big thank you
to some folks who really really stepped up in a
very big way. I don't know if you've heard or not,
but occasionally in the Houston area we have things called hurricanes.
This past year, we had a storm I can't even
pronounce that I've never heard of before much of the area.
(10:43):
Ye know, one time there was over one million people
who are without power in the Houston area. I had
Camp Hope for instance. We were without power basically for
almost a week, and we have a building that everybody
can get to that has a generator and backup power.
(11:04):
Secures our food, make sure our food is protected. But
that was all we had. So some wonderful friends, Jeff
and Gina Metzler. Jeff is owner of Lone Star Electric Supply.
Who is I don't know how they're doing. They're growing
at a very rapid rate. But for the last nine
(11:27):
years they have become supporters of the mission at Camp Hope,
and they have other things that they're involved in. Really
that our primary philanthropy goes toward. But they have come
alongside us and helped us in so so many ways,
(11:49):
so including Robert. I don't know if you've seen it
or not, but the brand new van throughout Yes, you
see that. We missed it. Huh, who missed it? You think?
Speaker 5 (11:59):
Get in it?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
What do you think? It's beautiful? It's beautiful. You like it.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
I like it so much. We all got DIBs.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I'm going to get kissed and drive it next Well.
I told him to not take it to the equine therapy. Definitely,
everybody drag their stuff back into the van. You know,
let's keep it clean for at least a week. Yeah,
but it's absolutely beautiful. When we talked about it, we
(12:27):
had talked the they said bring a few ideas things
that you guys need. So talked to him at lyunch
a little while back and mentioned, uh, the van, and look,
we're taking guys all over the place, picking them up
at the airport, taking them to the airport to go home,
and they complete the program, take them to parole, taking
them to the VA for medical appointments, disability appointments, all
(12:51):
kinds of things. Sometimes it's fun things sometimes, you know,
I mentioned equine therapy. Sometimes Max taking them to a
baseball game or whatever it may happen to be, and
we get to watch the Astros beat down on Yankees,
and that's always just a little bit of extra fun
just to watch that take place. But we put a
lot of miles, we put a lot of wear and
(13:12):
tear on those vehicles. And so when we first started
talking about it, like we know, let's let's find a van,
they kind of find the van. Well, you know, tell
us how much it is, we'll write check. So cool.
Nobody had a van, so they said, well, we know
some folks, some particular dushit they called them. I was like, nope,
can't find one anywhere. So they actually had to order it.
(13:33):
So it took months from the time that they pulled
the trigger on doing that for us, actually having it built,
then shipped directly to us, and then had it wraps.
But it's absolutely beautiful, but it was built for us.
It's like the Camp Hope Fan is the coolest thing
in the world. But then last week, back to the
whole electrical system issue, they provided a brand who is
(13:57):
just a massive generator. I don't know. I'm not into electricity,
so I don't understand all the killer wats and all
that stuff anyway, but it will basically power the rest
of our campus and absolutely no cost, So I cannot
begin to think enough our friends Jeff and Gina Metzler
(14:19):
Lone Star Electric, anytime we've ever done anything on our campus,
he always if you need any kind of electrical supply,
just send me the list. We got it taken care
of if you want to have to pay for it.
So it's friends like that that enable us to make
sure we stretch every dollar that comes in the door
as far as we possibly can, and so forever grateful
(14:43):
for our friends at Lone Star Electric Supply. If you
ever are in a business where you are purchasing electrical supplies,
I hope you'll at least give them an opportunity to
earn your business. One they're fantastic people. Two you're not
going to get a better product or better SERVI and
three they support They support our veterans in a big,
(15:06):
big way. So if you share that value, at least
give them the opportunity to earn your business. And if
you need to direct contact, I'm happy to do so. Facebook,
Hope excuse me, Road to Hope Radio. Just send us
a message. I'd be happy to connect you directly to Jeff,
he owns the place. So happy to do so. Also
(15:29):
on Twitter and Facebook, PTSD USA, PTSD USA, and again
on our websites ptsd usa dot org. Okay, so you
joined in what year again, Chris? November five five? And
when was your first deployment two thousand and seven? Okay,
(15:49):
and it was roughly fifteen months roughly. What were you
doing that first deployment?
Speaker 4 (15:56):
Route Clarence. We drove our thirty ones and uh looked
for ads.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
That sounds like a fun job. Well, it's funny story.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
When I volunteered, they said that I would be driving
the buffalo, and in my private's mind, I thought it
was the water buffalo. To pull the water buffalo for
potable water. But then I found out that it was
the big vehicle with the robot arm that looked in
blast holes, and that by that I had already signed
the papers, so it was too.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Late, so you were driving it.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I drove it a few times, but I went mainly
drove the RG thirty one. They had a V shaped
bottom that was designed to blow up because the blast
falls a path of least resistance.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
So do you have any experience and how that operated? Yes, sir,
we uh, it really was.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It had an air brake.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
It was just easy to drive, you know, I mean,
uh but uh, and I gunned. I was a floater.
I would drive and going for people that would go
and leave for R and R. I would go right.
They used to rub my head for the look because
I was I never got personally hit by ID.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
But everybody else did. Oh well, it was crazy. I
understand why they would rub your head for that. Yeah,
because something that rub off on me. Yeah, all right.
The reminder eight seven seven seven one seven seventy eight
seventy three. That is our combat Trauma Healing Line Answer
twenty four to seven by Combat bet eight seven seven
(17:34):
seven one, seven, seventy eight, seventy three, and again for
more information on Camp Hope our residential program the last
six to nine months ish. Sometimes they're up there for
two years, even at zero cost. He a veteran the family,
PTSDUSA dot org. We'll be right back place now.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Baby, it's their good time.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
Man, who's going to steal the show?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
No, baby, it's.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
The good time made.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
And we welcome you back road to Hope Radio. It
is uh, it's rodeo time in Houston, Texas. You've never
been a part of it here. There's no way to
explain it. You just have to experience it. I heard
it described one time by some of her friends in
leadership at HPD several years ago, like, if you take
(18:36):
the super Bowl and you do that every single day
for three weeks, that's kind of what it's like, which
is true. It's an amazing, amazing thing to see and
I'd never seen anything like it. And you know, you
hear the rodeo. I've been to a lot of rodeos,
(18:56):
not like this one. It's a little different. It's a
little different. You ever been to the rodeo here?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Robert?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Uh? No, sir, Well, we got to fix that.
Speaker 5 (19:05):
I'm a city boy, so I know that a lot
of fix is gonna have to take place, but me
to actually be in one, I hate to say that.
I'm in Texas. I think that's who I gotta watch.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yeah, the grace and mercy extends only so far with
some people.
Speaker 5 (19:21):
I'm a veteran.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
You gonna lean on that one, huh. Now, we gotta
get you. We gotta get you to experience that. It's
it's an experience. Yeah, I'm at the age now where
once is enough, Like, yeah, I'm good. I was like,
I've seen that. Yeah, no, thanks, no anymore, give a try.
I'll go check it out. But it is quite the
(19:44):
h It is quite the experience. It takes over the city.
Everything's about the rodeo, including traffic, right crazy. Yeah, the
trail riders coming into town.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
I did like watching it. It's not sitting behind it.
I didn't like it, but watching them go by was beautiful. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Yeah, Well, it's not the funnest thing if you're the driver,
because you don't get the rig. You're just you're just
It's something very out of the ordinary. So it's kind
of messes with the brain and messes with traffic, because
Houston traffic's to the craziest thing in the world. It's
not the worst traffic in the world. Some people think
so when they say that. Okay, you've never been in
(20:26):
very many places, but Houston traffic is very interesting. Somebody
has a flat tire. It blocks up a twelve lane
highway in a heartbeat for an hour, just because somebody
had a flat tire. It's just insane to me. Everybody
has stopped and look at everything. Robert, remind me, okay,
(20:47):
you were in a shield as a storm.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Okay, what was your job when you were deployed?
Speaker 5 (20:54):
My job was I was with eighty second Airborn to
get started with. And as you know, eighty second air
By will be anywhere in eighteen hours or less. So
you get the pizza, the less next pieza for free.
We'll go ahead, touch ground, touchdown. I was three quarter
eighty a. I was a stinger and I'm a crew
chief and I had a team personnel that you know,
(21:14):
handled the stinger. My job was to identify any aircraft
and you have to know each and every name of
the aircraft and normal clictures of them and give the
engagement orders. Once to give the engagement orders. My my
stinger crew chief will go ahead and release the missiles.
Go ahead and take down the object. That's pretty much
(21:36):
putting our troops in danger. Okay, aircraft, And how long
are you there, desert? I was over there? What one year?
Two months? Yeah, I was the first one in eighty
eight when with the line in the sand and fifty paratroopers. Yeah,
(21:57):
but they made it to be like twenty five thousand. Yeah.
Times magazine made a story of us.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Yeah, I remember, I remember. Okay, so a little over
a year you're there, Yes, sir, you come home changed
by what you experienced. How did you deal with that
when you came home?
Speaker 5 (22:26):
Tell you truth?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I was.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
I thought I was normal a lot of things. I
started taking on a lot of bad habits because I
was dangerous. I lived dangerously, but I thought I was normal.
But my normalcy got me involved in addiction. I wouldn't
wish on anybody which was alcohol. And that's the thing
(22:48):
about in the military. Everybody drinks, so you never know
you have a problem. So you'd be in the civilian world,
they won't see people that normally drink, like like fishes.
So anyway, I didn't know I had a problem till
my first wife. She identified it, but she didn't stay
around long enough to see where I would be today
because she passed on. It was my second wife that
(23:09):
actually got me the Camp Hope. She was my girl,
well my girlfriend beforehand, but she she did all the
paperwork and everything. I wound up in the hospital for
three months, cych Ward and this is after an opposed
alcohol induced coma.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Was back in New York.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Yeah, okay, yeah, So what happened was I wound up
in the hospital. This was around COVID time, and they
couldn't get me on any kind of flights until COVID
was pretty much over. I was lucky once we had
a break in COVID that got me here to the camp.
It was perfect. It was October twenty twenty one, twenty two. Well,
I know, I've been here for three months, three years,
(23:49):
and by getting here, I didn't want I did not
want to come here. I was very Once she let
me out of the hospital, I was trying to run,
but the drivers from the outreach from Camp Hope, well
you know, drives down the other day it was able
to roll me up and get me on a plane.
And I didn't want to be here, And I think
I could say that bust all that comes in. They
(24:13):
don't want to be because you've never been here. We
don't want to lose.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
That because you didn't think you needed it.
Speaker 5 (24:17):
No, I didn't think I needed it. One Two, I'm
in a different location. It's not like being at war,
being in a different location. Here, I'm stripped on my weapon.
My weapons was my addiction. Well I'm here and today
see where I'm at.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
And it can be very cliches, but to get from
that point to where you are today, because life continues
on even I mean you go through Camp Hope, which
life happens while you're at Camp Hope. I think we
talked about that last week. Things happen while you're there.
Other traumas can happen while you're there. We've had, you know,
(24:56):
guys in our program have des in their family while
they're in the pro and that type of thing. So
life continues on, doesn't just stop because magically because you're
a camp and after you graduate, same things. True. None
of us have perfect easy lives. It's just not the case.
(25:18):
So what what what when you look back on it?
Not the Camp Hope is the fix? For everything imaginable
in your life. But what was it from Camp Hope
that helped you deal with some of the things you've
had to deal with since, which you know includes some
some health issues that we won't get into, but just
(25:38):
some stuff that's going on in your life. What's what
it was it you learned while you were at camp
that's helped you do that.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
What I learned a Camp Hope a person was to
actually be open to a person. I had to open
to a person because I was I suffered from from isolation,
had no friends. The bottle was my friend. Once I
got to Camp Hope. It took one person that connected
to me and pretty much kept me here because I
was gonna find a way out. I stayed the Camp Hope.
(26:08):
I battled. I battled. It was hard, It was hard.
It was hard. Well, like I said, the unity, the
camaraderie of fighting another war with my comrades, not a
war overseas, but a war right here in my yard,
(26:29):
their yard, fighting it together, getting past it, to have
a new new story to talk about, which is a
good story rather than a bad story. What led to bad,
bad choices was the biggest thing that I learned that and
that's why I will continue to give as a vessel
that God put me in to help the next one.
Because this, this camp really helped me. This is the
(26:52):
real new army for damaged veterans that's come back.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
You know.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Well, and there's something there is said that I just
want to pick up on as we close up. Well,
we've got a couple of minutes still. But people can
look at any given situation and look for a way
like look for a way in or look for a
way out like you can if we look at it
(27:22):
from the vets situation such as your own where you
were struggling self medication and that kind of thing. An
opportunity comes along that you don't know that much about.
So it's fair, why would I want to go do this?
What'll go do that far? Why would I want to
go do something that long? So you can look for
(27:45):
the way out, or you can look for the way in.
I'm going to look for the way to try to
find a way to change my life, change the trajectory
of my life. Or i can look for you know,
find there's always a million and one excuses not to
do it. So there's that from the civilian side, the
(28:06):
supporter side Side says, we love our vets. Got the
bumper sticker great takes more than a bumper sticker. Looking
for a way out, well, you know price of eggs.
You can look for a way in, find a way
to help, look for a way to support. Maybe it's
just a hug, maybe it's a note, maybe it's baking
(28:28):
some cookies, whatever it may be. Looking for a way
in ptsdusa dot org. Again is the website ptsd usa
dot or. We have an urgent needs list there for
all the things going on at Camp Hope. A lot
of opportunity there to support through just purchasing things, for instance,
from Amazon wish lists and having them ship straight to us.
(28:50):
Lots of ways to support ptsdusa dot org. We right
back with more of Road to Hoope Radio.
Speaker 6 (29:07):
Yeah, and we welcome you back Road to Hope Radio.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
Just a reminder, wherever you listen to podcasts, if you
would just do a quick search Road to Hope Radio,
it'll pop up. You'd hit that subscribe button. That would
be really really helpful to us. After you hear the
show each and every week, you would please share that
it would not be the first time for us to
(29:40):
hear that someone learned about us through the podcast, So big,
big thank you to those of you who listen and
share Road to Hope Radio. Chris, we were talking about
your deployments and some of the route clearance and things
that you were doing. When did you get out of
(30:01):
the army two thousand and seventeen seventeen. How long was
it before you realized there was some mental health stuff
going on?
Speaker 4 (30:16):
Probably twenty seventeen, so failed a couple of drug tests,
and of course I have been in so long and
I had started. Plus I went to the VA and
all this stuff wherever, and the the guys that were
(30:41):
over me, they were like they just let me ets
out because they're like they we'd been known each other
for so long. Some of them went to school with
and then in the guard with, the deployed with, and
they just kind of I got lucky, and life just
was terrible. I mean, you know, it's like I didn't
(31:05):
have that comradeship.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
You know.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Drugs were like the only thing I had, you know,
and it was just a band aid. It didn't work.
You know, the civilian employers didn't really get it.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
You know.
Speaker 4 (31:24):
I had a really good pavilion employer at people a
little concrete plant, and he kind of understood, or at
least he tried, and he's actually he told.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Me when I got all my VA beat.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Benefits and stuff, I still worked there for a couple
of months and he told me to go take a
vacation figure stuff out. And I did, but instead of
going fishing or hunting like he told me to do,
I discovered crystal meth.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
And it's been a downhill struggle ever since.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
How did you hear about Camp?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I was in Austin, Texas, and.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
I became I had relapsed really bad, uh, and I
went to this place. I can't remember where what it
was called, but it was like a mental health emergency
place or whatever, and they told me about Camp Hope
and I came the first time, and uh, about four
(32:28):
years ago, and it's been like every year I've been
coming back. I had a lot of stuff I pulled
me on the outside and entered conflict and everything. But
this time is different, you know, because every time I
got better. Look, Camp Hope helped me every single time,
(32:49):
and my communications got better, you know, and I had
people I could actually talk to, you know, that gave
it that care, you know, and Yeah, Robert.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
From a mentor's standpoint, how critical do you think it
is for veterans to hear and understand? Look, we don't
look at that Chris's store. We don't look at that
as a fair. We look at that as a success.
He continued to make the choice to come back and
do what he needed to do next. But those guys
(33:22):
sometimes can feel so my marginalized and overuse word swept aside.
Maybe he's a better picture judged, and quite often it's
them judging themselves and assuming everybody else is How critical
is it for people to know and understand, Hey, look,
(33:44):
we know there's going to be some bumps and bruises
along the way. You're always welcome.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Good question and the good answers say. The answer I
can say to this is, here is a tomorrow. All
I've been through it. Take my hand, let me guid
you where I'm at. You can keep coming back until
you get it right. But remember you don't have us
(34:11):
so many times, so we continue to strive to help
the broken veteran. I'm still broken, and to continue to
You know, if you keep feeding somebody repetiously, they'll get
it because you get tired of being tired, and then
you'll start picking up something new than doing what you've
(34:32):
been doing, which has always led you back down the
wrong path. So we give you know, we give it on.
And I don't want to say the word hope, because
we know God covers all the miracles that we have.
So I want to say that with the blessings that
we've been granted, granted from God, is that we can
be perfect vessels for these veterans because we are veterans,
(34:54):
so we hear you.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
We are.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
We're not in the other country and we don't know
a your language. We know your language and we speak it.
And by us speaking the same language, we can understand
each other and guides each other through the finish line.
Each one helps each one.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Chris, I don't remember how long you've been back this time,
but what's what are you learning right now that's helping you?
Speaker 4 (35:18):
How to love myself, you know, forgive myself, and how
it's actually open up the people and be vulnerable and
share things. I shared things this time with some people
that I haven't shared the last few times. You know
(35:40):
that was here and I think that this time is
a little bit That's one reason why it's different you know,
I'm trying. I'm finally surrendering completely instead of just you know, partial.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Surrendering, you know, digging a little deeper and yes, sir,
divulging all of it instead of summer most sir. Mhmm.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
What are you?
Speaker 3 (36:08):
What are you hoping to get out of this?
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Hoping to get out of this a new way to live?
Speaker 3 (36:15):
You know.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Camp Hope is a great place, but it's a bubble
and uh it's a great place to uh to set
the push the pause button on your line, figure some
stuff out. But the thing is, it's the it's just uh,
the armory is to supply, you know, where you get
all the tools that I you know that I need
(36:38):
to be able to make it on the outside. But
when I get graduates, so I have to make kind
of like my own mini miniature Camp Hope, you know,
and take the tools that I learned and actually apply
them and build connections and uh Marcotics anonymous and church
and other you know, places that are healthy.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
You mentioned this, the self love, forgiving yourself. How are
you doing on that forgiveness in particular?
Speaker 4 (37:09):
Well, my thing you know, for me, I look at
well Jesus has forgiven me already, you know. And if
He's forgiven me, then why can't I forgive myself? You know?
And I have to remind that myself that a lot,
because the one thing I figured out with forgiveness is
(37:32):
I might you know, with other people that I forgive,
including myself, is that sometimes those feelings come back multiple times,
you know, And even though I might feel good for
a season and then I start feeling down on myself again.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
And so what I've learned.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Is if I replace feeling sorry for myself and thinking
and dwelling on the past and having resentments and stuff,
if I replace that with being grateful and you know,
in worshiping God and it's been in fellowship with other people,
you know, then the resentment for myself kind of fades,
(38:13):
if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
You know. This is a daily process.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
It is, indeed, and very well said. Oh you all
have work to do on that, all of us do.
I think all of us have two different degrees some
difficulty with forgiving ourselves. Sometimes forgive everybody else, but not ourselves.
So keep doing the good work, keep and it is
every single day. Mac. Love you buddy, great to see again.
(38:41):
Thanks for helping us out today, Big a reminder wherever
you listen to podcast, look for Road Hope Radio. Please subscribe,
get it downloaded, share it frequently, regularly, often, and again
websites ptsdusa dot org. Thanks for joining us this week.
We look forward to being with you again each and
(39:02):
every week for more of Road to Hope Radio
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