The Responsibility Within

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Multiple people in my family clean my father, are veterans.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Troops that have been to war and now they're back
and think and be grateful for their service, sacrifice, love
for their country, just unselfishness, all.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
That they do for us.

Speaker 4 (00:18):
There are some people in this country who take extraordinary
steps to provide for the freedom and security. We forget
that those people exist.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
We know them as the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines,
and Coast Guard. They call themselves soldiers, seals, rangers, airmen, sailors,
devil dogs, and so much more. We call them fathers, brothers,
sons and husbands, mothers, daughters, sisters and wives. We call

(00:49):
them friend and neighbor. These veterans answered the call, Now
we answer theirs. They are the best our country has
to offer, and we love them. Today we honor them
and we start this. David Maulsby is your host, and

(01:14):
he welcomes you to this community of veterans, as together
we are building the road to.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Hope, and indeed we are glad to have you along.
On a Sunday afternoon, those of you listening onto KPRC
the nine five oh on the AM dial, thank you
for joining us as you drive endlessly around the Loop
or the Beltway or the Grand park Way, whichever one
you like to spend your Sunday afternoon driving through. Thank
you for doing so. Those of you listen through the

(01:41):
Magical podcast, thank you so very much. Wherever you listen
to podcasts, just look for Road to Hope Radio. There
we are. We got over eight years of shows, lots
of stories, lots of insight into what's going on at
the PTSD Foundation of America, a lot of hope and inspiration,
a lot of great stories. People that you get to meet,

(02:02):
our veterans. People say, we love our veterans, we support
our veterans. We appreciate it when you take a time
to check out this podcast. And here's some of the stories.
Here's some of the struggles that they had coming home
and how they are overcoming them, how they have overcome them.
You'll hear both of those in the course of this
show with a couple of vets we have in the

(02:22):
studio with us today. Big thank you to our show
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(03:29):
right we have two of our veterans in the studio
with us. Today one who's a Graduate Camp, hope a
staff member doing great work and supporting our veterans coming
through the. Program we got. Brand do you want to reintroduce? Yourself,
yeah what's?

Speaker 4 (03:46):
Up.

Speaker 5 (03:46):
Everybody Brandon hartsburg, here A Us army. Vet i've been
working At camp up about four. Years i graduated in
twenty twenty And i'm just excited to be here.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
And we're glad to have you. Here brandon does fantastic
work with our guys and grateful for what he. Does
and we also have a veteran that's currently in the
program At Camp. Hope, brian you want to introduce yourself
to the. World, yeah that's your. Chance make it.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Good, thanks, pastor thanks for having. Me i'll try not.
To my Name's Ryan. COLEKOWSKI i served in The United
States Marine corps from two thousand and two to two
thousand and. Six came To Camp hope On april tenth
of this, year twenty twenty.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
Five and, Yeah i'm just been working the. PROGRAM i
Think i'm on ninety six days.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Now all, right so still in Red i'm still in red. Phase, okay?
Gotcha all, right which means nothing people associated today. Anyway
glad you're.

Speaker 4 (04:41):
Here.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
California what Part.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
Orange, County, California, Placentia.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
California i'm familiar With Orange, county Not. Placentia, yeah, okay
where is that? From like the.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
Airport it's probably ten to fifteen minutes From John, wayne
probably twenty minutes from the, beach a couple from the.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
Mountain so it's a nice place to. Live.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Nice. Yeah did you grow up on the?

Speaker 4 (05:04):
BEACH i did. NOT i was.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
No, ACTUALLY i was born In, virginia lived there for
a couple of, years moved To North, carolina moved To, Dallas,
texas and then WHEN i joined The Marine, CORPS i
was stationed At Camp, pelton.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
Right, yeah so that's HOW i came To.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
California you just stayed, there, yes. Sir so you did
a lot of moving around as a, YOUNGSTER a lot
of moving, around, yes all, right family military or.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
No just my dad got drip transfers and found different
opportunities for, work and we just kind of moved.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Around where were you in high? School let In? Dallas.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
YEAH i went to A Plano West Senior High school In, Plano,
texas suburb Of, dallas just north Of.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Dallas my son and his family lived.

Speaker 4 (05:48):
There got To.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Texas as quick as you.

Speaker 4 (05:49):
Can, Now i'm back.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
The texamax and the. Barbecue. Yeah, yeah that's a good
reason to come. Back it.

Speaker 4 (05:59):
Is i've had a chance to have some.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Good, YEAH i don't, Know i've ever Had. Virginia Does
virginia even know what barbecue? Is i'm not.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
SURE i don't.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Know North carolina thinks they, do but it's not.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
BARBECUE i, was, YEAH i was, five and THEN i
moved To North carolina AND i was, ten and then,
yeah from ten to like eighteen and lived In, texas and.

Speaker 4 (06:24):
Back THEN i really wasn't into. Barbecue and THEN i.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
Got a nine year Old, yeah, yeah, YEAH i tend
to seventeen growing up through high school and stuff like,
that and then but, yeah it's good to be back
IF i had a. Chance you, Know Camp hope's fit
us some you, know through some donors and stuff like.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
That some good, barbecue and, yeah it's pretty.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Good, yes we, have, thankfully some wonderful donors that provide
some meals for us from, timetime and our chef consistently
puts out some great food as. Well but it's always
a little extra special when some of these restaurants come
out and prepare meals for our. Guys it's a little
extra special treat for. Everybody so grateful for all those

(07:04):
who do. That real, Quickly i'm going to give you
our Combat Trauma line eight seven seven seven one seven
seventy eight seventy. Three even if you're not A, vet
you think you'll never need this phone, Number please put
this number in your. Phone there will be someday you
come across somebody who needs us and you're gonna wish
you had the number in your. Phone so please just

(07:26):
take the phone, Out just take you a. Second put
this in your. Phone eight seven seven seven one seven
seventy eight seventy. Three you come across that individual that's
needing a little bit of, help a little bit of
guidance as they struggle to reintegrate into the civilian, world
just hit the phone, number hand it to, Them tell
them a combat vet's going to answer the. Phone that
may not mean much to, you but it will mean

(07:48):
the world to the person that you're handing that phone.
To eight seven seven seven to one to seven seventy
eight seventy. Three we're going to take a quick break
and we'll be right back with more Of road To Hope.
Radio going to dip in the mail bag here real.

(08:22):
Quick BRAND i think you'll, UH i think you'll appreciate this.
One this past, WEEK i saw a post from one
of our graduates From september of twenty. Three Chris, Tregiser
you REMEMBER i just read that? Today did you read?

(08:43):
That funny you bring that? Up? Yeah, YEAH i commented on. It.
YEAH i went To Camp hope a hardcore alcoholic with
no understanding about my mental. Health suicidal destroyed health issues
common story for a lot of. Us i've always been
a believer In god and some, extent but when he

(09:05):
actually touched to me while riding a horse during my
stay At Camp, hope my life was. CHANGED i wasn't
thinking about anything, NEGATIVE i wasn't. PRAYING i was just
enjoying the. Scenery and then it, happened The aha Moment
Camp hope staff talks about, hate, anger. UNFORGIVENESS i was

(09:29):
holding onto was. Gone like the sun came. OUT i was,
alive forty years. OLD i received a brand new, life
ONE i only dreamed of that now just. FLOWS i
put in hours upon hours of hard work in a
BUSINESS i co. OWN i put hours upon hours in

(09:51):
my production company and have a biodocumentary streaming on multiple,
platforms And i'm currently working on a fiction film on
facing past, trauma turning back To, god recording music, again
and living all since graduating the Program september twenty, eight

(10:12):
twenty twenty, THREE i went from losing absolutely everything to
having all THAT i need and a family. AGAIN i
wish success to every single person that is trying to.
Change how's? That that's not too bad right? There it's.

Speaker 5 (10:32):
FANTASTIC i can't make that. Up i've been following him
the whole TIME i worked With, chris SO i love seeing.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
That. Man that's what it's all. About that's why we
do what we.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
Do it's.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
Real it happens all the. Time. Yeah this Past, WEDNESDAY
i had some gentlemen out there are co owners of
some businesses here in The houston, area and they were
when guys ask questions when we're on tours and we're

(11:01):
showing people what we're doing and they're trying to learn about,
it when they start asking questions and a lot of
questions and probing, QUESTIONS i always find that so encouraging
BECAUSE i know they're tuned. IN i know they're actually.
Interested they're not just out there to get a. Picture
they want to learn about what's, happening what's going, on
what's going on in our veteran, community what's going on
in Camp. Hope why Does Camp hope? Exist why what

(11:24):
are you doing that's different from what anybody else is.
Doing it's just so. Encouraged they spent almost three hours
on our Campus, wednesday and it was. Great they got
to hear from a number of our veterans and briefly met.
You and when you see things like, that when you

(11:45):
see just you, know people you would otherwise never, meet
People i'd otherwise never, meet and they come out and
spend LIKE i, said they spend almost three, hours, uh
listening and asking, questions and you get a chance to
just briefly meet him in a. Hallway and we commented
on this as. Affort we kind of finished the tour

(12:07):
and sat down in an office and spend some time
talking through some things like there's no. WEATHER i can't
imagine another office building in the world which is where
they met you in one of our training, buildings or
where your office. IS i can't imagine another building in
the world where you would walk in and just at

(12:28):
that moment meet someone and then talk to you and
tell you openly about the worst moments of their. Life.
Right it's just it's the Odd when you step back
and think about, it it's like it's the oddest thing
in the. World but, YOU i, MEAN i, know staff
Sometimes oh, no here Comes, david he's got some. Movie

(12:52):
uh what does that do for?

Speaker 4 (12:54):
You?

Speaker 2 (12:54):
Though, now because you've been around for a, while it's
not the first time when you see see somebody and
are called upon impromptu to share a little your.

Speaker 5 (13:04):
Story, SURE i don't even think twice about. IT i
rarely do. ANYMORE i don't. Know i'm so okay with
WHO i am AND i don't care what other people
think that when you came, OUT i, mean that was
just a natural. CONVERSE i had just came out of
THE ptsd, class so me And ryan. Connected we shared

(13:25):
some of the same battle, space we fought in the same.
Areas so that class teaching that class ON, ptsd and
THEN i kind of pretty much created that class to show,
them you, KNOW ptsd is more than just a mental,
disorder it's. Physical AND i showed them pictures from like
WHERE i was WHEN i got out and how horrible it,
got and THEN i showed them like what's going on?

(13:47):
Today and THEN i don't, KNOW i just just just
coming out of that, CLASS i guess a nonchalantly just
told THEM i don't even think twice about. It it
doesn't bother me. Anymore so but uh, YEAH i didn't
even think about. It BUT i guess sometimes they're high
up exec or business. Owners they're pretty influential. Men BUT
i enjoyed the conversation because they Were you could tell

(14:08):
they cared and they wanted to. Know maybe that's WHY
i was so genuine AND i came forth with this.
STORY i think that's probably what did it.

Speaker 2 (14:15):
Well and it wasn't just. You there were several guys
THAT i introduced them to long the way you, know
when you're there on campus for again almost three. Hours
we met a lot of guys and. Everyone BUT i
told him, like this is OUR, dna this is what we.
Do nobody thinks twice about. It so WHEN i looked
at it that way of you, know there's no place
else in the world you do anything like, that it

(14:38):
hit me a little. Odd but then it's, like, YEAH i,
guess but this is who we. Are then they shared
their you, know kind of their their values as a,
company and it was, accountability, family. Greatness and as soon

(14:58):
as he said, ACCOUNTABILITY i, said, now, look we've talked
a lot about Camp hope a lot about the, program
a lot about you, know the reintegration issues and the
legal issues that come as a result of a lot of.
That but if you want to Break Camp hope down
to a, word accountability is probably the. Word that's what

(15:22):
we do all, day every, day which requires the, openness
the freeness to. Share but it was just it Was
it was interesting to me that that was the first
part of their their value. System, like that's pretty good
for a company like.

Speaker 5 (15:40):
That sounds like a divine appointment today it.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Was and you, Know i'm not just going. On i'm
not really sure what's going to come out of, it
BUT i know something's going to come out of. It
so it was pretty. Cool, yeah what did they do
for lunch?

Speaker 3 (15:54):
Today what do we have for lunch? Today i'm trying to.
Think sometimes the days blend.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
TOGETHER i saw the, fixings But i'm guessing it's for.
Dinner the looked like beef strogan off was.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
About you had, rice, shrimp, rice some, shrimp and some.

Speaker 2 (16:10):
Squash nice and it was it was. Good it was,
delicious sounds good and.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
It wasn't just one of those where you, get you,
know three or four. Shrimp we got, nine, ten eleven.
Shrimp you, know they weren't holding anything.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
Back so. Nice, yeah because we don't get seafood very.
Often that's all the THINGS i mentioned to this. Company
we don't get seafood very. Often it's be stroging off
tonight just so, yeah WHICH i. Like, YEAH i could read.

Speaker 5 (16:33):
SHRIMP i would have gave anything to get hot food
and three shrimp WHEN i was a. Resident he doesn't
know the. Program, WELL i don't tell them very.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Well you know when we WHEN i look back to you,
know we just kind of re furbished The Hunt. House
WHEN i think back to the days when that was
all we. Had quite, often all we had was boxes of,
ramen those cheap packages of ramen noodle that you buy,

(17:03):
tuna a lot of, tuna but a lot of the
ramen noodles works had expiration dates that already. PASSED i
guess somebody decided that the veterans would would love some
expired dollar packs of From.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
And this was brought up earlier this, week AND i
know it's true for. Me Is i'm eating a lot
better At Camp hope than WHAT i was eating BEFORE
i came To Camp. HOPE i was wasn't eating a
lot maybe once a day by. Choice wasn't taking care
of myself AND i would have you, know peanut butter

(17:38):
and jelly and ramen and stuff like, that OR i
would just order you, Know Uber eats or Door. Dash
but Now i'm eating three square meals a, day taking
care of, myself getting the, nutrition eating vegetables.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Again so The Camp hope thirty is a real. Thing
it's a very real. Thing all, right for those of
you on the kPr, C we're gonna take a quick
news break and then we were right back with more
Of road To Hope. Radio all, right we Got Brandon,

(18:21):
Hartsburg United States army, veteran Got Ryan United States Marine
corps veterans served In. Iraq you both served in the same,
AREAS i guess at different times or were you there similar?

Speaker 4 (18:31):
Times, YEAH i just found out this.

Speaker 3 (18:32):
Today SO i was In brandon's class as A ptsd,
class and he was bringing up one of his deployments
in two thousand and. Seven he brought up A, Maria,
iraq AND i served there in two thousand and. Six
and there's another town just down the road Called. FERRISTOWN
i was, like is that the same A? Maria and
is there another town down the street Called. Farristown he's, like, yeah,

(18:55):
Yeah AND i was, like oh, YEAH i was there
in two thousand and six AND i didn't even know
that until day when he was doing HIS ptsd.

Speaker 4 (19:02):
Class so that was pretty.

Speaker 2 (19:03):
Cool it's a small world in, it it, Is, yeah
especially when you get into.

Speaker 5 (19:06):
That it's nice to have somebody. Relate BECAUSE i tell,
you or my my, father my, friends my ex, wife you,
know WHEN i was. Married they don't really get. It
they're like shock and, all like you, KNOW i tell
them the stories and then they're just like, uh BUT
i tell. Him we get all fired. Up we start remembering.
Routes we're, like oh, yeah we were fighting Al kaida
and they had h and me and they, were you,
know burying five hundred pounds of.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
Explosive and he brought up he brought up THE. T
there's A t intersection in A'm maria right there and
then one at THE. T one road goes south OR
i don't know what. DIRECTION i think it's south To
ferristown and there is. That he was talking about that tea.
INTERSECTION i knew it. Well we patrolled that, yeah all the.

Speaker 2 (19:45):
Time so why'd you decide on The Marine.

Speaker 4 (19:47):
Corps oh good. Question SO i didn't it chose?

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Me SO i was working AT gnc In, Frisco, texas
at the mall At Stonebarre mall and The marine res
recruiter came in and we got to talking and he's,
like you, know what's your? Plans what do you? KNOW
i was, like, WELL i just. Graduated i'm gonna go community.
College he's, like, well you, know The marines will pay
for your. COLLEGE i was like, okay and then he's,
like did you play? SPORTS i was, like, YEAH i played.

(20:14):
Football and he's, like The marines have a football team
and you can play for The. Marines all you have
to do, is you, know sign. Up SO i went
to the recruiting. Office he made me watch the whole
recruiting video AND i was, like all, right where do
you sign me? Up so it kind of chose. ME
i guess, okay, yeah all, right.

Speaker 5 (20:29):
That translates into a LOW gt. Score The marines is
the only one that would take him from the fifth
grade reading.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
Level, yes it's getting, good it's getting. Real so all,
right football player, Plan oh that's the. Thing that's a real.
Thing got to be pretty decent to make that.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
Team, YEAH i was For Plane West Senior High school and,
yeah we went my senior, year we went seven and.

Speaker 4 (20:58):
Three we missed the.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
Playoffs the top three teams made it to the. Playoffs,
ACTUALLY i played with two players that actually ended up
making it to THE. Nfl, Nice, yeah The Quel vaughan
and he ended up going To arkansas AND i believe
he ended up with the leave with the forty nine.
Ers and Then David, lofton who's actually the son Of James,

(21:22):
lofton who's A hall Of famer.

Speaker 4 (21:24):
For The Green Bay. Packers.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
NICE i played with them in high school AND i
Think David lofton ended up with The Miami.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
Dolphins so very. Nice yeah that's. Cool. Yeah, yeah, so
uh it's it's a very good football when you come To,
texas when you get into Like, plano it's it's a
little different. Level.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yeah, yeah they've been having some rough years, late but
back in uh, yeah early two, Thousands, yeah it was pretty.

Speaker 4 (21:55):
Competitive mm.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Hmm. Absolutely so you joined The, corps you deploy and
what you're, again it was.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Six so my first deployment was in two thousand and, three, okay,
yeah AND i did three deployments between combat deployments between
two thousand and three and two thousand and.

Speaker 2 (22:13):
SIX i, mean do you Do brand four? FOUR i, thought,
well you guys like punching that frequent, Flyer.

Speaker 4 (22:19):
Yeah, yeah yeah. Yeah three three.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
Deployments my second deployment was For Operation Phantom Fury, Fleujah
Iraq November december two thousand and.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
Four oh we were there together, Too. Yeah we talked
out leisure back the second.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
Time, yeah, yeah. Yeah It felujah brings up a lot
of yeah, memories some GUYS i knew that aren't with us. Anymore,
okay so coming home PTSD's party life at some. Point it.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Is SO i got out in two thousand and, six
AND i don't THINK i even knew WHAT ptsd.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
Was almost no one. Did in two thousand and.

Speaker 4 (22:59):
Six, YEAH i, didn't you.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
KNOW i THINK i had a two hour class and
they gave us some brochures and said if you're having you,
know if you need help, whatever you, know call the
number or go to the website or.

Speaker 4 (23:09):
Whatever AND i think everyone just shoved those in the
drawer didn't think about.

Speaker 3 (23:13):
It BECAUSE i got back from my third deployment In
august AND i was getting out of the Marine corps In,
october SO i quickly got back from my third deployment
and then basically transitioned out of The Marine. Corps AND
i actually didn't even go to THE va UNTIL i
believe twenty eleven is WHEN i first went to THE
va to get help with MY.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Ptsd know what was going?

Speaker 3 (23:33):
ON i, Was, YEAH i was just self medicating with.

Speaker 4 (23:39):
ALCOHOL i was drinking a.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
LOT i wasn't just wasn't the PERSON i used to,
be you, know the PERSON i wanted to. Be at
the urging of some friends and, family they, said, hey
you know you should go TO va and you, know get,
help see what they have to offer and stuff like.
That so that was the first time in twenty eleven

(24:01):
ACTUALLY i went to THE va to try to get.

Speaker 2 (24:03):
Help what were the symptoms you were dealing with are
causing you to?

Speaker 3 (24:06):
Drink SO i was dealing WITH i had, insomnia, flashbacks, nightmares.

Speaker 4 (24:15):
You, KNOW i was felt.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
DEPRESSED i had a lot of, anger AND i didn't
know where that anger was really coming. From you, KNOW
i was lashing out at family and friends and it
was just a side of me THAT i didn't even
know WHO i. Was AND i needed to figure that,
out and SO i went to THE va to try
to get help and with WHAT i didn't know at

(24:39):
the time WAS.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
Ptsd what was their suggestion?

Speaker 3 (24:45):
Prescription, yeah so they prescribed me a bunch of medication at,
first AND i don't even THINK i can name it,
all but you, know stuff for some SSRs to help
with my, depressions some stuff to help with my, nightmares
with my with my, sleep and stuff like, that WHICH
i didn't EVEN i didn't really. TAKE i THINK i

(25:07):
took it for a little, while but not enough for
it to make an. Effect AND i WAS i was still,
drinking AND i was missing. APPOINTMENTS i GUESS i just
wasn't taking it serious AS i should have back in twenty.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
Eleven were those psyche appointments or medical? Appoints?

Speaker 1 (25:24):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (25:24):
Both?

Speaker 4 (25:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Both, okay all, right how long do you do?

Speaker 3 (25:29):
THAT i was in and out of THE va from
twenty eleven up until this past, year WHEN i KNEW
i needed to make a change because WHAT i was
doing wasn't. Working and that's WHEN i Found Camp hope
and decided that IF i don't do, something you, KNOW

(25:50):
i need to do something because What i've been doing
hasn't been, working and that's HOW i found myself making
decisions on my own to come To Camp.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
Hope so, typically not, always but typically there's something that
the straw that breaks the camel's. Back was there something that, Like,
okay this has gone on too, long or something, happens
or what was it that finally brought you to the
point WHERE i got to do something. Different we like
to call that TO D day's YOUR d. Day, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
So it wasn't anything with the law or anything like.
That it WAS i was sick and tired of being
sick and. Tired my daughter's, seventeen my son's, nine AND
i was just tired of being sick and. Tired AND
i KNEW i needed to do something for myself but
also for my kids and they needed, me AND i
missed a lot of their lives due TO ptsd in

(26:44):
my alcohol. Use AND i knew that IF i didn't
do something, NOW i never. Would AND i HEARD i
learned About Camp.

Speaker 4 (26:51):
Hope how did you hear about?

Speaker 3 (26:53):
CAMP i heard learned About Camp hope through Uh Nathan.
GONZALEZ i served with him In. India, YEAH i served
with him an indie, Company, yeah indie.

Speaker 4 (27:04):
Company Thurb, Time Fifth. Marines we served.

Speaker 3 (27:07):
Together, yeah same company in The Marine, corps and we've
kept in touch off and on throughout the. Years AND
i knew he worked At Camp hope or he was
involved With Camp. Hope AND i, said, hey what does
someone have to? Do what DO i what does someone
have to do to come To Camp? Hope and he
basically was, saying you, know your D d two fourteen

(27:28):
need need to be a combat veteran and stuff like.
That we're both, like, yeah you know you're you're, that
you know you'd qualify and stuff like.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
That so he sent me a. LINK i.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
Applied it was probably took me no longer than five.
Minutes it was a quick, application talk a little bit
about your, deployments you know what brands and stuff like,
that and then you send it in and then, yeah
someone contacted me a couple of days later From Camp.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
Hope did he tell you how much it? Costs?

Speaker 4 (27:58):
Free he, said it's, free just just get. There and.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
You, know ACTUALLY i, was, YEAH i didn't even have
to pay for my plane Tickets southwest a free ticket
On southwest thanks to, uh you, KNOW i guess THE
Ptsd foundation to.

Speaker 4 (28:13):
Us, yeah SO.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
I flew here From, uh, Yeah california flew me in
The Houston nate picked me.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Up how awesome is? That?

Speaker 4 (28:22):
Yeah, yeah so it. Was it was chauffeur, service door
to door so.

Speaker 2 (28:27):
Here, yeah that's. Fantastic. Awesome your family supportive of what's going.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
On they've been very. Supportive, so my mom and my
sister currently live In. Dallas my brother lives In Oklahoma.
City there you, Go i've been. Here, yeah shake you
ahead of. Me So i've been At So i've been
At Camp hope about ninety six, DAYS i, believe plus or.

(28:53):
Minus and they've probably come to visit me five or six.
Times and that's From dallas And Oklahoma. City my brother's,
flown my sister and my mom have.

Speaker 4 (29:02):
Driven that's.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Awesome we got to take one more quick break and
we'll get right back to it when we get back
with more Of road To hope. Radio you know, what,

(29:26):
FRIEND i think one of the things THAT i really
love is not in the. Plan it's just what happens
At Camp. Hope. Uh like you, mentioned you Called nathan
because you serve with him and he picks you up
when you come into. Town you get here and you're
here for ninety six. Days and finally figure out you
guys were in the same. PLACE i loved hearing these

(29:51):
guys seven, eight, nine ten years later and guys they
met in the, program which again people that had another otherwise. Met,
necessarily you two would have never met if it weren't
For Camp. Hope but seven, eight, nine ten years from,
now you guys will still be. Friends. POSSIBLY i love those.
STORIES i love seeing that all the, time, guys some

(30:13):
of our staff go out and do the bike riding,
thing like these guys would have never met each other
and probably didn't wouldn't have liked each, other at least
not in the condition that they were in at the,
time but they came To Camp hope but friends years.

Speaker 4 (30:28):
Later.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
That, uh that brings me a lot of. Joy All,
right so you Decide Camp hope's the place for. You,
Yeah i'm sure it helped that you Knew. Nathan it.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
Did, yeah it helped a. Lot knowing That nathan worked
for the for the foundation. Helped it kind of reassured,
me you know that you, Know and THEN i know
That nathan went through the program graduated as, well and
we talked about the program and he said it really
helped him a.

Speaker 4 (31:04):
Lot it didn't cure him from.

Speaker 3 (31:06):
HIS, ptsd but gave him tools to, live tools to
live a different way of, living, basically that's how he said.
It so it kind of gave me the final nudge
to go ahead and make the decision to you, know,
basically to Leave california and come To houston to be
At Camp.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
Hope that's a big, step especially when you know the
program's designed to be rather. Lengthy, yes six to nine.
Months so there's so if, you if you just think about,
it those of your listening, like this is a whole
new world to. You combat. That so you got combat related,
trauma probably several other traumas in your life the time

(31:46):
you get to. Camp so you got this mental health
thing going ON. Ptsd so anxiety almost one hundred percent
of the, time the anxieties through the, roof and now
you're gonna up and go to some you've never, been
be around a bunch of people you've never, met and do.
What SO i JUST i try to put myself in that,

(32:10):
mindset like how anxious must a person be when they
are about to step onto this campus that they're going
to spend the next however many months of their. Life
what's it going to be like it had to help
obviously you With, nathan but if you don't know, anybody
and even if you, DO i, mean the anxiety is
still got to be pretty. Roal.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
Yeah so for, ME i got out in two thousand and,
Six SO i spent nineteen years and life just wasn't
working for.

Speaker 4 (32:38):
ME i tried different.

Speaker 3 (32:41):
THINGS i attended church for a, while got sober for a,
while fell back into drinking and stuff like, that and
WHAT i was doing just wasn't. Working SO i figured
six to nine months IF i could come To Camp,
hope get, sober and you, know get closer To. God

(33:01):
that was an important. Thing WHEN i found out it
was a faith based. Foundation that was a big thing
for me BECAUSE i wanted to get closer To. God those, things,
yeah made it easier because IF i kept on the
PATH i was, going you, know it wasn't gonna nothing
was gonna cure. ITSELF i needed to get out of

(33:22):
my you, know WHERE i was, living go to a
new place six to nine, months all.

Speaker 4 (33:27):
Right.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
ALMOST i felt LIKE i looked at it as like a.
Deployment all, right HERE i, Am i'm gonna go To.
Houston i'm gonna do this. Thing i'm gonna get, Sober
i'm gonna get closer To, god get new tools for
my tool, belt learn a new way of.

Speaker 4 (33:40):
Living AND i wasn't.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
ANXIOUS i Knew, nate BUT i wasn't anxious BECAUSE i
KNEW i was gonna be with my. BROTHERS i KNEW
i was gonna be with guys that are combat veterans that.
Served you know something we, have you, know different, generations
but we all have that same thing common that we
signed up to serve our, country went to, combat you,

(34:04):
know and came. Back and whether IT'S ptsd or substance,
abuse we all have that one thing in, common was
serving our country in. Combat so that that reassured me
a little.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
Bit shared. Experience, yes it's it's it's.

Speaker 5 (34:18):
POWERFUL i would have rather went back To iraq than
to come To Camp. Hope it was awful the first
TIME i came in the second, time it was so
so much fear and anxiety BECAUSE i had so much
a lot of our, guys including, myself have so much toxic.
Shame because there were really good, men had good. Professions
we've served our country most most of these, men all

(34:38):
of them are really good. Men but when you start
to do things to cope and you go, downhill you're
so shameful and you're so, isolated you don't want to
look people in the. Eyes and that's how that's how
most of us show, up including. Myself it was it
was not. COOL i almost left almost every day for
the first couple of, weeks and, guys guys will do,
that like just stay one more, hour just stay one more,

(34:59):
day and we're, like if we and get one more
day out of, them because it's not easy in the.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
Beginning it's interesting because on that tour THAT i, mentioned
the three hour, tour one of the staff members THAT
i introduced them to made the comment coming To Camp
hope was the scariest Thing i've ever. Done and then
he made it very clear it was scarier than boot.

(35:22):
Camp it was scarier than going to war coming To Camp.
Hope and you know that got everybody's, attention all right
when you hear, that like, oh and then he went
on to say. Why he, Said the reason WAS i
knew WHEN i, WENT i had to own WHAT i had,
done WHAT i had failed to, do AND i had

(35:44):
to look deep into my. SOUL i knew what was
coming and that's what scared.

Speaker 5 (35:49):
Me that's the accountability. Piece, yes you spent a couple
of weeks on our, campus you're going to, Realize oh my,
gosh these dudes are the real deal and they've healed from.
This they're doing it and if in the way it's set.
UP i don't want to give away the secret, sauce
but that's that's how it's set. Up man to face
this stuff and to grow into heal from OUR. Ptsd
and it's it's hard because you're facing. Yourself that's what

(36:10):
we're fighting when we show. UP i was fighting, myself,
now you, guys not the, staff not the, counselor's not
my you, know, unit or my ex. Wife it was
Facing brandon and that that was. TERRIFYING M and all
the stuff we pushed down from combat exact because that's
part of the coping, skill you, know disassociate from it
BECAUSE i gotta. FIGHT i got to move on to
the next. FIGHT i can't deal with.

Speaker 3 (36:30):
This, yeah there's there's certain THINGS i haven't thought about
or talked about SINCE i was in The Marine, corps
AND i just pushed those things, down didn't want to
talk about, them try not to think about them and
those some of those are some of the Things i'm
working through now At Camp.

Speaker 4 (36:44):
Hope so.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
Our time here is all, unfortunate almost. Done this is
always just the fastest hour of my, week every Single
how in the world have we already? Done because they
always just want to hear so much? More but ninety
six days, in so you've still got a long way to. Go,
yes what's changing in your? Mindset when you wake up
in the, morning you compare to how you felt this

(37:09):
morning when you woke up versus six months ago when
you woke.

Speaker 4 (37:12):
UP i, MEAN i feel.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
Great first of, All i'm, Sober i'm not. Hungover that, Helps,
yeah that helps a. Lot the clarity of thought doing morning. Devotionals,
hey that leaves.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
ME i had to cut you off because, sure but real,
quick you mentioned you you came here wanting to work
on your relationship With.

Speaker 4 (37:35):
God, yes that was a big.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Thing so for, me real, quick how has that developed for?
You and how has it affected? You that you know
there's others that have no interest in, It so how's
that worked for you while you've been?

Speaker 3 (37:48):
HERE i, MEAN i know myself And i've had a
relationship with The. LORD i gave my life To christ
WHEN i was in high. School, UNFORTUNATELY i fell. Away
AND i know WHEN i got sober for a brief
time AND i try to get my life kind of
to try to get my life back on. TRACK i
was going to, CHURCH i was reading My. Bible my
relationship With jesus was, close AND i wanted to get

(38:12):
back to that AND i just wasn't able to do.
IT i, was to be, HONEST i wasn't able to
get sober on my own enough to go back to,
church read My, bible and going To Camp hope made
that easier for. Me and it structured like they, said
it's accountability AND i don't have any.

Speaker 4 (38:32):
DISTRACTIONS i don't.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Have you're making some progress.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
There i'm making. Progress i'm closer to The. LORD i
have a relationship with The lord.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
Now it's. Awesome that's WHERE i want.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
To be big thank you to everybody. Listening you listen
to the podcast wherever you listen to Podcasts road To,
hope if you hit that subscribe, button we truly do appreciate.
It also really appreciate. It if you share. It you
never know who may come across. It maybe it's the
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time but it's the time that got their. Attention please share.
It you never know who might need what we have to.

(39:03):
OFFER Ptsd foundation Of america ptsdusa dot. Org road To
Hope radio wherever you listen to. Podcasts, thanks look forward
to being with you again next week for More road
To Hope radio