Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is a Jesse Kelly show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show. Let's have some fun on a Monday. Oh
my goodness, it's such a good Monday. I'm so happy
(00:31):
to be sitting here with you. We have an amazing
show for you. And yes, of course I am going.
Of course, I'm gonna hit the big news of the day.
We are gonna talk about violent crimes, cities, Trump taking
over DC. We're gonna discuss Democrats. They continue to cuss
and continue to take positions that are out of control
(00:54):
and completely unpopular. Mexico's cutting back on tomatoes. All praise
them for the at the Democrat parties in very deep trouble.
They also opened up the border. Bill Gates sucks. We're
gonna do emails. Josh Hammer's gonna join us halfway through
next hour to talk to the legality of all these
things and medal of honor Monday's coming up one hour
(01:16):
from now. Before we get to any of that, let's
talk about the news, and it is going to take
a while to sort through this. We're gonna have a
long talk about countries, first impressions, cities, communism, violent crime.
Trump gets up today and says DC's mind.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Now, I'm announcing a historic action to rescue our nation's
capital from crime, bloodshed, bedlam, and squalor and worse. This
is Liberation Day in DC, and we're going to take
our capital back. We're taking it back under the authorities
vested in me as the President of the United States.
(02:02):
I'm officially invoking Section seventy forty of the District of
Columbia Home Rule Act. You know what that is, and
placing the DC Metropolitan Police Department under direct federal control.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
In your Yeah, yeah, I got it. You already got it.
You've found out this news a long time ago, earlier today. Okay,
all right, so let's clear something up right now. Cities
being violent, filthy places full of murders and rapists and
(02:36):
homeless people and all the other ugly stuff in a
city that is not built in with a city. We Americans,
because we live here in America, we believe that that's
what cities are. People who live in cities, listen to
(02:57):
me right now. Maybe that's you. They think, oh what, yeah,
that's look, it's gonna be that way right. You don't
go out after midnine. People who live in a rural
area like I do. Maybe that's you. Well, yeah, that's
why I don't go to the city. But I have
traveled quite a bit now courtesy of the United States
(03:17):
Marine Corps, and then did a little bouncing around afterwards.
I've been to a bunch of cities that are completely clean,
cities around the world where I didn't see a single
homeless person, Cities where the animals weren't hurting people at night.
It was quiet, its clean, it's lovely. I was in Florence.
(03:41):
I was in Florence, Italy, and Florence, Italy was so
immaculate and so safe. We were with our boys. They
were I think there were sixteen. I think there were
this age because we just went sixteen or fourteen. If not,
they were thirteen and fifteen, but they are age. Bob
and I wanted to go around the block have a
(04:04):
little dinner by ourselves. Little sandwich boys said hey, can
we go out? Fourteen and sixteen European city And he said, WHOA,
you got money? I said, yeah, we have some money.
Well bye, and off they went. Went out, walked several
(04:26):
city blocks, had dinner outside by themselves, came on back
to the hotel. Didn't so much as sniff a crime
that squalor you see all over American cities. Last time
I went into New York City, I walked down into
the subway and I had to step over several homeless people.
(04:51):
At one point stepped into a puddle of pea just
right there in the subway. That squalor is a choice.
I want to make sure everybody is crystal clear on that.
I want to make sure you are crystal clear on that.
That video you watched this morning, or yesterday, or last
week or last month, I don't know. There's a new
(05:12):
one every day of some animal pushing someone in front
of a subway car, punching out a woman, stabbing people.
That is a choice that was made. It is not
a byproduct. It's not an accident. It's not just the
way things are. It is a choice that was made
(05:34):
in America. The Democrats who run our cities have made
a conscious choice to make sure they are a haven
for the most disgusting, despicable people on the planet. And
that's why you can't send your daughter to New York
City for graduation. That's why because it is a conscious
(05:56):
choice that has been made. Now we will come back
to that conscious choice and why they made that conscious choice.
Because I want to focus on a slightly different part
of what Trump said today, and it goes to something
I've talked about so many times before, job interviews. I'm
not changing the subject. Stay with me. Remember when I
(06:18):
went on that ramt last week about job interviews. Ten
minutes I told you how to ace a job interview,
Show up on time, dress your best, shut your mouth,
and listen. You know all that stuff. But let's talk
about dressing your best. Why did I say that? Because
I want you to have to go spend a bunch
(06:39):
of money. Nope, doesn't even have to be a nice
suit or a nice little skirt or whatever you're wearing, ladies,
does not have to be that I said, dress in
the best clothing you have. Why Because first impressions really
are everything. They are everything. When you walk into a restaurant.
(07:03):
Happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I'm not
going to name it. Walked in, it's stunk like someone
hadn't cleaned out the dishwasher in forever I see OB's face,
nose curled up, turn around and left, not even any
point neating there. Food could have been the best thing
ever ruined? Gone, goodbye. First impressions. When Trump talks about
(07:25):
meeting Putin in DC being disgusting and that mattering, he's
one hundred percent correction.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Embarrassing for me to be up here. You know, I'm
gonna see Putin. I'm going to Russia on Friday. I
don't like being up here talking about how unsafe and
how dirty and disgusting this once beautiful capital was.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Do you know here's a little history tidbit. You may
not know. You know what Washington, DC is. Maybe you've
been there, but if not, I know you've seen pictures
of it, all that white marble, beauty buildings. It's cool,
isn't it. I've encouraged you to visit, and still encourage
you to visit. Take your kids one time, don't stay
more than two days. Go see the monuments, Go honor
(08:11):
the Vietnam veterans, Go see the new Korean War stuff.
Go see the stuff, and then get out. But it
looks cool, doesn't it. It looks almost intimidating. Why did
you know that was done on purpose? Our founding fathers
and men who came after them, who built up DC.
(08:34):
Now these are small government people who would be mortified
at the size of DC now. I should point out
they'd be mortified at the strength of DC now. But
they knew in order to make a good impression on
foreign dignitaries, they needed to build up a capital of
this country that made us look good, that made foreign
(08:58):
dignitaries walk into it and go, wow, this place is amazing. Dang,
these Americans sure have it together. I've told you before,
what's on the billboard of your country in other countries,
meaning in Saudi Arabia, in Tokyo and Russia, in France,
(09:20):
in Peru. When there's a billboard for America down there
and there are you know what they don't show on it.
I'm sad to admit they don't show Montana, where I'm from.
You know what's on the billboard New York City, Washington,
d C. Los Angeles, Miami, Seattle, Chicago, Dallas, Austin. Big
(09:43):
cities are on the billboard. You can hate the city
all you want. They are on the billboard of your country,
and people around the world get an impression of your
country and my country based on the condition of those cities.
You know, I want to go to Turkey. So does
(10:04):
Jewish producer Chris, why we flew through Istanbul. I didn't
even leave the airport. We were there for what what, Chris?
A couple hours? Maybe a couple hours. It was immaculate.
The airport was immaculate, The airport personnel were dressed to
the nines. Pleasant, and you know what we drove. We
won't drove. You know what? We flew away thinking, Wow,
(10:26):
Turkey seems nice. I want to come back first. Impressions
matter a lot when foreign dignitaries come to Washington, DC.
We just hope they don't get peed on or shot.
It's a really big deal. Now let's dig into more.
It is intentional. It is a choice. Let's talk about why. Now,
(10:50):
let's talk about history first. That's what I love. As
you know, I'm a history freak. I'm probably gonna start
working on another history show for you here. Until then,
you know, you have something to tide you over. You know,
the geniuses at Hillsdale College will teach you about history
(11:11):
at no cost, just like this show. Just like this show,
you can go to Hillsdale dot Edu slash Jesse and
learn about Sparta right now. Hillsdale will teach you. They
have multi part series The Roman Republic. Maybe you want
to focus more biblical stories in the Book of Genesis.
Have you ever wondered the circumstances around those Why don't
(11:33):
you let Hillsdale teach you at no cost? How many
things are free out there now Hillsdale dot Edu slash Jesse,
We'll be back the Jesse Kelly Show. It's still real
to me, damn it, the ternstacks. It is the Jesse
(11:54):
Jesse Kelly Show with me Bronco Kelly. And I should
let you know I forgot to mention at the open
of the show. It's my fault. I was looking for
some new beef jerky this weekend and I came across
this package called Bronco Billy's. I didn't actually buy it,
so I don't know if it's any good or not.
But I decided Bronco is a great name nickname, and
(12:15):
I'm stealing it. And so now I prefer to be
referred to as Bronco from now on. I might even
change my name on my driver's license. So here is
the Bronco Kelly Show, and we're going to continue our
talk about Trump and taking over the cities and the
Squalor and the Okay already went over at the beginning
of it that first impressions matter. It matters that our cities,
(12:40):
and it's not just DC. It matters a lot that
New York is going down the toilet, that Chicago is
going down the toilet. It it does matter, even if
you'll never visit, even if you think you hate that place,
it matters. We want to have beautiful cities and beautiful country.
It matters, to say nothing of the innocent people who
(13:02):
live there and suffer there. It matters. So I mentioned
that it's a choice, and it very much is a choice.
In case you doubt that, let me go ahead and
nerd out and do something I try to never do
to you. But let me read you just a couple numbers.
This is courtesy of what's this website called numbio, where
(13:25):
they crunch whatever numbers you're looking for them to crunch.
There are roughly seven hundred thousand people in DC, seven
eight hundred thousand. In the city of Tokyo, which I
mentioned earlier, there are fourteen million. Now let me read
you some crime numbers. The level of crime in DC
(13:46):
seventy Tokyo twenty one. Worries about your home being broken
into are things stolen in DC fifty two, Tokyo twenty one.
Worried about being mugged or robed DC fifty seven, Tokyo
twenty one. Worried about being subject to a physical attack
(14:09):
because of your skin color, ethnic origin, gender, or religion
Tokyo twenty six, DC forty three, On and on and oh.
Final one people using or dealing drugs d C sixty five,
Tokyo twenty four. Why because Democrats did that to our
(14:36):
cities on purposes, Because big cities have been ruled by
democrats for ages, and Democrats intentionally fill up cities with
crime and criminals, and it's gotten so much worse in
recent years. Now we are going to get to that.
(14:59):
I'm going to you whind a little bit first, and
then we're going to go chronologically why and how it
got worse and worse and worse and worse and worse.
And there's going to be all kinds of offensive stuff
in here. And do keep in mind, I don't care
if you get offended. You're welcome to email love, hate,
death threats, or what you're offended about. Jesse at Jesse
(15:20):
kellyshow dot com. Let's rewind to just basic communist revolution
because this is going to be a huge part of it.
Why do communists like violent crime during the revolution phase?
What's the revolution is complete, they'll they'll shut it all
down and just shoot everybody in the face, but once.
(15:41):
But before that, why do they want people murdered and
raped and robbed? And just please keep in mind, stop
saying soft on crime. They're soft on crime policies. That
is the dumbest, most inaccurate branding I've ever heard in
my entire life. These cities are not full of crime
(16:03):
because Democrats spilled the milk on accident. Oops, did that
rapist hurt another woman? I had no idea they did
it on purpose. Stop saying soft on crime. It's pro
crime anyway. Why do communists love it? I've used this example,
let's use it again. A stable family, maybe you have one.
(16:26):
Maybe you don't picture a stable family, mom, dad, kids,
a stable, happy family. What if you're an evil person
who wants to destroy that. Communists are trying to destabilize society.
But what if you want to destroy that? There is
no easier way to shake up the stable family than
(16:50):
violence of some kind. If that's your family and I'm
an evil person, and I want to break it up.
I'll burn your house down. I said, how does the
family doing now? Oh? All the everyone's stuff, You're moving
into a hotel. I got a commute extra to work.
I lost all my clothes. Are you with stable after
I burnt your house down? What if I introduce a
(17:11):
violent dog into your home? Hey, take this rescue pitbull.
He's lovely. Oh sorry, did your child's hand get bit off?
How stable is the home now? What if I what
if I start vandalizing your home when you're gone. Every
time you come home, I've spray painted something, I'm throwing
rocks through the windows. Do you think the husband's gonna
(17:33):
start snapping at the wife more, the wife more at
the husband. Do you think the kids are going to destabilization?
The best way to bring destabilization into a stable situation
is violence, and communists understand that so so well. If
you don't have anything moral keeping you back from doing violence,
(17:58):
and you're fighting a revolution, well there's nothing better, absolutely
nothing better. We'll continue on this in a moment before
we do another. Thing Our cities do is they murder
babies in mass, millions and millions and millions of them.
These abortions. The large percentage of abortions in this country
(18:22):
take place in the cities. It's the Baltimore's, the Buffalo's.
So how do we fight back against that? When you
have this central hub of evil. You put a clinic there,
a pro life clinic where that young woman finally gets
a real choice. You see, she's on her way to
get an abortion. But what if she goes in for
(18:45):
an ultrasound that doesn't cost her a dime? Isn't that appealing?
It's not just Chris who loves free stuff. What if
she goes in for a free ultrasound, that's what Preborn
gives her. You and I have to pay for it.
Twenty eight bucks is what the ultrasound costs. Go look
up Preborn, Go look up their charity rating. You're not
given to some slush fund for some dirtball. They are
(19:08):
on a mission in you. The Jesse Kelly Show family
have already saved thousands of lives. Thousands of people walk
the planet today because of you. Preborn dot Com slash
Jesse is where you give preborn dot com slash Jesse
sponsored by Preborn'll be back the Jesse Kelly Show. It
(19:31):
is the Jesse Kelly Show with Me Bronco Kelly here
on a wonderful Monday. Remember you can download the show
on iHeart, Spotify iTunes. Now back to already brought up violence.
Communists love street violence because it destabilizes a society. George
(19:51):
Soros and many like him, I should point out, didn't
spend millions and millions and millions of dollars to elect
these pre crime DA's just because they're surf done crime
or they're reimagining police work. No, it was done so
we could have more murderers in the streets. It was
done so we could have more rapists in the streets.
(20:12):
Because the more murder and rape and theft you have
in a society will destabilize it. That gives people an
appetite for new management. It gives people an appetite for revolution.
You get to step in as the filthy communists and say, man,
these stavings are bad. Why don't you let me help
(20:33):
you out? If you want a perfect example of this,
that's why democrats love mass shootings. They love them, and
don't let anybody convince you otherwise. They're never sad, they're
never bummed out. They're sitting back gleefully clapping their hands
when a bunch of kids get shot. That's why now
they can't even wait till the bodies are identified before
(20:54):
they're running to the podium. Hey man, this is a
really terrible mass shooting. I'm super sad. Anybody give me
your guns. Violence gives them an opportunity, and occasionally you'll
have some useless hunk of skin like John Cornyan join
them and pass gun control legislation when they do this,
but for the most part we have opposed it. They
love violence because violence gives them an opportunity, an opportunity
(21:21):
to move the revolution forward, and they have taken that opportunity.
What Donald Trump did today bringing in the National Guard,
he's taking over, essentially taking over the DC police department.
Democrats are afraid. They're very, very afraid. That's why you've
seen this all over the news.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
To Hey, Andy, you really did hear the President paint
quite a dystopian picture of Washington, d C. Saying that
it was overtaken by violent gangs, by bloodthirsty criminals, using
this imagery that doesn't necessarily comport with a lot of
people's experience in this city, but also with what the
actual number show. You know, statistics do show yep.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Oh, we'll come back to the statistics thing in a
moment MSNBC.
Speaker 4 (22:05):
Here was that one of the things that we have
seen over and over from the President, from his team,
you know, Stephen Miller saying it's like Bagdad and Ethiopia.
They seem to hold their harshest criticisms some times for
cities that are majority black and brown.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Pulling out the race Cordy, he can't fix the crime here,
that's racist. Here was Dana Bash maybe the most hilarious
thing I heard.
Speaker 5 (22:28):
Also, and it just as we go to break, I
should note that the most violent moment in recent history
in DC was January sixth, and it was an attack
on the United States Capital by a lot of people
who were doing it in the name of Donald Trump.
And it included the people who were hurt, included members
of law enforcement.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
So why are they upset? We'll get back to the
stats in a moment. Why are they upset? They're actually
upset for two different reasons. First, we already laid it out.
They want violent crime. They wake up, they see a rape,
they see a murder. They're happy they know it helps
the revolution. That's one two. What if Donald Trump the
(23:10):
National Guard? What if they clean up DC. If they
manage to clean up the crime in Washington, d C.
Then the American people may just have the scales fall
from their eyes and they'll realize what you and I
just got done talking about our cities don't have to
(23:34):
be like this. You mean we can just arrest criminals,
keep them in jail, and the crime goes away. You
mean we don't have to have homeless people all over
the place, pee, doing drugs, stink, miserable. You mean we
can run them out of the cities and we can just,
(23:57):
I don't know, even take our kids and live there, visit,
enjoy ourselves. What if Donald Trump takes one of the
most violent cities on planet Earth and makes it safe?
How does that make Democrats look in Los Angeles? How
(24:19):
does that make Democrats look in Oakland in Austin? How
does it make Democrats look in New York City? New
York City that's about to basically get apocalypse when Man
Donnie gets elected? How does it make them look? And
that brings me to this the statistics. I'll let this
(24:41):
one play this time. I cut it off last time,
but you've seen many Democrats find that crimes going down,
find that crimes going down.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
And you really did hear the President paint quite a
dystopian picture of Washington, d C. Saying that it was
overtaken by violent gangs, by bloodthirsty criminals, using this imagery
that doesn't necessary really comport with a lot of people's
experience in this city, but also with what the actual
number show. You know, statistics do show. Yet violent crime
(25:08):
in Washington is falling since reaching a peak in twenty
twenty three. The President's aide dispute some of those figures.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
You heard the.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
President come out saying that some of those statistics might
have been cooked. But really, when you look at the number,
is what the President is painting is.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Remember how we've talked about Antonio Gramsheet before. I'm not
going to nerd out too much on history. Just stay
with me. The Italian communist Antonio Gramsheet and what he
talked about, the long march through the institutions. We've had
this talk many times before on the show. You didn't
wake up one day and the communists controlled the CDC
(25:46):
and FBI. That didn't happen all at once. It took
American communists decades and decades and decades, working their way
through the university system, through the political system, through America,
and one day you see America's corporations. They're wait, they're
donating to Black Lives Matter. Hold on, the FBI's infiltrating
(26:10):
the Catholic Church. What the this doesn't make any They
marched through the institutions, they took them over. There's a
lot of reasons they marched through the institutions and took
them over, but one of, if not the main reason
reason you take over the institutions is it gives your
(26:32):
lies legitimacy. It gives your lies legitimacy. Remember, communists have
to lie about everything. You already know that. We talk
about it all the time. They will lie about everything
they believe they have to, and they do for the
most part, because you can't sell anything that evil if
you're telling the truth. But if you take over DC
(26:54):
and you turn the animals loose on the streets, Black
Lives Matter and all this other crap, and all of
a sudd murders are through the roof, people are getting
everything broken into It's the worst place in the world.
What do you do about that? You certainly can't arrest criminals.
That doesn't work. Well. Remember that story we read last week.
DC commanders. Police commanders will show up after a violent
(27:18):
crime and downgrade it. They lie, you simply lie. And
once they lie, then because they've conquered the institution, it
gives the lie legitimacy. Remember when the FBI said violent
crime is down nationally, and we all knew that had
to be a lie because we could see it everywhere.
(27:39):
And it turned out the highest crime centers in the
country didn't turn in their numbers. Hey New York, you
got your violent crime numbers. Oh uh, dog, must have
ate my homework. I don't have that, all right, Well,
crime went down the communists took over the institutions. Because
the institutions owning them gives the lies legitimacy. It's why
(28:01):
you've seen democrat after democrat after democrat, politician, media, people,
news print come out well finlent. Crime has been going
down finely. Crime has been going down. Nobody who lives
in DC thinks that. Everybody knows it's bad. It's really bad.
But again, when you're fighting a destructive revolution, you have
(28:23):
to lie about everything. There's one more thing they did
and then we'll move on, maybe do a couple emails,
and we'll get to the medal of honor Monday. You know,
Bronco does what Bronco wants on Monday. What Chris, don't
roll your eyes?
Speaker 6 (28:38):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Speaking of iolent crime, though they are everywhere, they're everywhere
now Democrats have turned them loose on this society. How
are you going to stop one when he comes for you?
What is your plan? More importantly, probably, what's your daughter's plan.
I'm going to send it a fenless baby girl off
(29:01):
to college or your son. Don't think it's just women.
Guys get ganged up on all the time. Now, what's
his plan? Hope for the best? Get a burna launcher
in everyone's hand, in your family, everybody, go buy five
of them. B why rna the beauty of it. They're
(29:22):
legal in all fifty states without a permit or a
background check. They'll just mail it to your front door.
Swat teams carry them, private security firms carry them, and
millions of individual Americans now trust burner. It will stop
a bad man in his tracks. Tear gas balls or
kinetic rounds, whatever. I'll be honest, I'd like the tear
(29:44):
gas balls. Probably the best, but put in whatever you want.
B why RNA hope is not a plan, make preparations,
burna dot com, burna dot com. We'll be back. Get
the cure for rhinos eight days with the Jesse Kelly Show.
(30:05):
It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a wonderful, fantastic Monday.
I remember you can email the show Jesse at Jesse
kellyshow dot com. We got Medal of Honor Monday coming
up ten minutes from now. Josh Hammer is coming up
halfway through next hour. I'm going to ask him about
the legality of all this. I just want to make
sure the judges aren't going to step in and screw
(30:27):
up all this taking over DC stuff. And I am
going to ask him about this too.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
And if we need to, we're going to do the
same thing in Chicago, which is a disaster. We have
a mayor there who's totally incompetent.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Can they Can they go in the other cities. We'll
see about that, all right. So one final word on this.
This was from last week, but there was a twenty
eight year old piece of trash in Baltimore and outside
of it were two pro lifers, old men seventy three
(30:59):
and eighty four were the ages of the men. This
twenty eight year old on camera. You can go look
at it. I don't know that i'd recommend it, but
you can go look at it. Goes and beats the
living crap out of them, shoves the first one over
and then turns and just crushes the other guy so
that he has a fractured cheek bone and a shattered
(31:22):
eye orbit and that he's a He just destroyed him.
They basically let him out scott free. They let him out.
I mean, he was convicted two counts a second degree assault,
but they let him out scott free. One year of
home detention in three years of probation. Another reason democrats
(31:48):
love violent criminals. On top of all the other things
we laid out, is there an army. They're a standing army.
Remember that Democrat, Remember that Vice mayor. Last week we
played the audio of in Los Angeles County who got
had one too many Margarita's and got on camera and
(32:09):
started calling for Los Angeles street gangs to start assault. Remember,
not for nothing, but.
Speaker 6 (32:18):
I want to know where all the trollos are at
in Los Angeles Eighteenth Street, Florentia. Where where's the leadership
at Because you guys are all about territory, and this
is eighteenth Street and this is Lorne. You guys tag
everything up, claiming hood, and now that your hood's being
invaded by the biggest gang there is, they're.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
In a peep out of you.
Speaker 6 (32:38):
It's everyone else who's not about the gang life that's
out there protesting and speaking up. We're out there like
fighting our tour, protecting our tur protecting our people, and
like where you at, dude, they're running a muck all
up in your on your streets. So don't be trying
to clean no black, no nothing. If you're not showing
up right now trying to help out and organize, I
(33:02):
don't want to hear a peep out of you once
they're gone, trying to claim that this is my block.
Speaker 5 (33:07):
This was not your block. You are even here helping out.
Speaker 6 (33:10):
So whoever's the leadership over there, just get your members
in order.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Violent criminals are seen by Democrats as foot soldiers, and
they operate as foot soldiers. There's only a small percentage
of any society in anywhere that are actually criminals. In
violent criminals, even bad neighborhoods. I know. Look pick your
(33:36):
bad neighborhood. I know it's easy to look at it
with every every window has bars on it. It's easy
to look around and think they're all criminals here. They're not.
It's a small percentage. Democrats view them as the tip
of the spear. Just final word, it's a choice. Our
(33:58):
cities are violent and disgusting because Democrats did it on purpose.
Remember that, dear mister meat Tonight, Mott was burger night
for the family. We made the world famous Jesse Kelly
burgers from your book, still available at Jesse kellybook dot com.
We have had this box of red lobster cheddar Bay
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biscuits in our pantry for a while now, so I
made the executive decision to make those biscuits as our
fresh buns. Oh my gosh, the whole family was obsessed.
I think I may have found the only possible upgrade
to your burger. Even Chris can eat it, even though
it's technically red lobster. Hey, Chris, can you people eat that?
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It's a biscuit? But I thought you couldn't. I thought
you people couldn't do meat and cheese. Is it's red lobster? Chris?
Of course, it's real cheese. They only use the highest
quality ingredients. I'm sure it's real cheese, but we could
what if we substituted something good like velvete? What about valveda? Seriously,
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can you people eat velvida in meat because I velvita.
I don't think velvida is real cheese. Chris, Look, I'm
mister Velveta. All right. Bronco loves velvita. But buddy, it
stays good for a really, really really long time, like
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an uncomfortably an uncomfortable amount of time. I don't think
it's real cheese. But I think you're in the clear.
Talk to your rabbi, is all I'm saying. Talk to
your rabbie. Anyway, the guy said, I might have found
the only possible upgrade, and so on and so forth. Look,
I want you to know I took a music class
once in community college. Did I ever tell you this?
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It was a class on music all the way from
classical up to rock music and things like that. And
there is one thing I learned, and it was just
an entire semester of this. Whatever your favorite music, whoever
your favorite musician is, whatever your favorite band happens to be,
they're probably wonderful, but they also built off of the
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foundation that was given to them by bands before them,
and then that band built off the one before them,
and then that band built off of the one before them.
I want you to build on my incredible genius out
of the goodness of my heart. It took a lot
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of hard work, a lot of effort. I created the
world's greatest cheeseburger. But I am not a selfish person.
Bronco isn't like that. I want the world to not
only know it, to improve upon it. If you can
throw them on Cheddarbay biscuits, I think that's a great idea.
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The only thing that I've expressly forbidden is vegetables. Do
not It is not a salad. Don't start throwing lettuce
and tomatoes and everything else on my cheeseburger. It's unacceptable.
It ceases becoming my cheeseburger if you start putting vegetables
on it. Vegetables are disgusting. It's about the meat and
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the cheese and the bun. Now, enough of that. Let's
step away and honor a hero before we come back
and talk more politics. Democrats are in some serious trouble,
and that's going to be fun to discuss next