October 28, 2025 • 38 mins
Voting with the two T’s. Importing the 3rd world has consequences. Why do they bring in foreign hostiles en mass. Getting stabbed with a fork.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is a Jesse Kelly show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show. Let's have some fun on a Tuesday, a
magnificent Tuesday, and all we have so much for you tonight.
(00:32):
First of all, we're getting closer to Japan. Not that
I'm gonna talk about that much or even probably at all,
but I think that's really cool. We'll discuss that briefly
tonight on the show. We are going to talk a
little bit in the opening here in just a minute
or so, about the difference in how you vote versus
many foreign peoples throughout history. We'll talk about that there's
(00:53):
a big difference that people don't realize. We're gonna talk
about Democrats potentially reaching the end of the line, the
shutdown stuff, the Hitler stuff, a Confederate statue is going
back up. You're going to be shocked to find out
there's turbulence in the middle of a hurricane, Communists sending
over female spies to seduce our tech nerds, all that
(01:16):
emails and so much more coming up tonight on the
world famous Jesse Kelly Show. And now the first I'm
gonna do this. I'm gonna do a little experiment. Let's
say let's say twenty twenty eight is over JD vance
is one. Let's just assume we're going that way. You
know what. Let's let's fast forward all the way. We
(01:37):
just got done with two terms of Jdvans. All right,
it's all the way to the twenty thirty six two
terms of Jdvans. Now, I put somebody in front of you,
and this someone I put in front of you, you
know what, you know what. They're with you on taxes,
they are with you on the border. Whatever you want,
(02:00):
I want don on the border. They share those values
everything from pro life regulations, energy policy, foreign policy. They
align with you. They are with you and want what
you want. Let me ask you, would you vote for
that person? Obviously, probably rolling your eyes, it's a pretty
(02:23):
obvious point, yes, of course. But I didn't tell you
what they looked like. I didn't tell you if there
were tall, short, skinny, fat. I didn't tell you their religion.
I didn't tell you their skin color I told I
didn't tell you their sex. I didn't say if it
(02:43):
was a male or female. And you just said you
would vote for that person. Why, well, this may seem
like an obvious point. Believe me, it is not. Though
you vote for the person who will implement the policies
you want implement it. That is how you vote. Now,
(03:04):
maybe you're shrugging your shoulders and saying, well, yeah, but
this is my point. You don't understand that's unique. You,
in the history of politics, in the history of the world,
are unique in that regard. The American right is unique
(03:26):
in that regard. We have in our DNA courtesy of
the founding of this country. We have a natural distrust
of government, even if maybe you're a little more big
government in this area, or maybe I am in that area,
although I don't think I am in any area, but
maybe you're. We differ on things, there's no question about it.
(03:46):
But we have a natural distrust of government. And we
don't run to the government with our hands out. That's
not how we operate. We don't. Even if we do,
we're kind of ashamed of that and kind of hide
that fact. That's not how we look at government. You
and I. We do not look at the people we
(04:07):
elect as people who will give us this or give
us that, And in general, we do not look at
them as people we can purely relate to. I made
up this totally fictional candidate for twenty thirty six, and
you said you would vote for them. And I didn't
even tell you what they looked like. I told you
nothing about them, and you said you would vote for them.
(04:30):
Because what they look like, what their religion is, what
their skin color is not a priority for you. It's
not how you vote, It's not how I vote. I
would never in a million years look at ten candidates
on stage doing a debate and make my decision on
who to support based on whether they're tall or short,
or skinny or fat, or white or black. That would
(04:52):
never occur to me, and it would generally never occur
to you. But the point is that is insanely unique.
And in fact, we're going to go to this New
York City race which I touched on a little bit
last night, to make this important point. Why why is
it that American born New Yorkers completely reject this communist
(05:14):
and foreign born New Yorkers love him, absolutely love him.
Let me tell you how peoples around the planet vote,
and not just now, historically, how peoples many people, I
would probably say most people around the planet have historically voted.
They vote on the two teas, two teas you ready.
(05:37):
First transactionally in American politics, if I was running for
president and I stood up right now and I gave
a speech in front of you, and I said, hey,
you vote for me, vote for Jesse Kelly. And you
know what if you vote for me, If you vote
(05:59):
for me, if you put me in office, I'm gonna
build you a brand new school, and I'm gonna send
you a thousand dollars check in the mail. You would
be grossed out, wouldn't you. No, I'm sure you would
like a thousand dollar check in the mail. We all would.
But wouldn't that seem gross? Even though we know politicians
(06:21):
try to do that? It would seem gross if I
just stood up and said, hey, new school, thousand dollars check,
that would seem gross to you. But peoples around the
world that's exactly how they vote, and the politicians themselves,
they run for office on these platforms purely transactionally. You
(06:44):
vote for me, I will give you this. How in
the world can the next mayor of New York City
get up and give a speech like this and get elected?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Here is what we stand for, my friends, going to
freeze the rent for more than two million rent stabilized
tenants and use every resource at our disposal to build
housing for everyone who needs it. We are going to
(07:18):
eliminate the fair on every single bus line.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Purely transactional. He's open about it because he understands the
foreigners who have poured into New York City. That's how
they vote, purely transactional, totally different than any way you vote.
How could they be We have a hard time understanding.
Don't they understand? It will get it will get dirtier,
(07:46):
it'll be there'll be worse crime that, there will be this,
This won't work, taxes will grow up. Don't they understand.
People from around the world do not vote like you.
They do not vote with the values you vote with.
People around the world from so many cultures, from most cultures.
(08:08):
They vote on the two teas. Now I just said one.
The first one is transactional, purely transactional, vote for me.
I'll give you this period. The second part is tribal.
That's how people from around the planet and American Democrats
vote this way in large Part two. Now that the
Communist revolution is these different groups. But we're going to
(08:31):
make this about foreigners for now. We'll come back domestically
in a moment purely tribal. If I told you right now,
the next election, I'm voting for whoever's white. That would
be kind of a turnoff, right. Not only would it
be weird and stupid, it would be kind of a turnoff.
(08:51):
I'm only voting for the white guy. I don't want
to see any black people up there. There better not
be any Mexicans, only the white guy. That's who I
vote for. White, I vote for my skin color. Period.
That would be weird and dumb and not good. But
that's how people around the planet vote all the time,
(09:13):
all the time. What why is ma'am Donnie, Why is
he up there telling fake nine to eleven?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yes, I was speaking about my aunt. I was speaking
about Santau, my father's cousin, who sadly passed away a
few years ago.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
And that was the wrong button. This is the fake
nine to eleven story. That was his uh. That was
his little try attempt at saving face after he lied
about this.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I want to use this moment to speak to the
Muslims of New York City.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I want to speak to the memory of my aunt,
who stopped taking the subway after September eleventh, because she
did not feel safe in her head.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Jab why give that speech? Because New York City has
over a million Muslims and and Mam Donnie is under
the impression they're going to vote for him because he
is one and the poll numbers say that's true. And
this is not unique by the way, to Muslims, foreigners
(10:25):
from around the planet, they vote tribally. What why do
the what are the people in Minneapolis now routinely put
Somali candidates up? Samali foreigners vote for Somali's transactionally and tribally.
(10:46):
If you sit and scratch your head at why any
group would vote for this person or that person anywhere.
People don't share your values, people who don't share your
DNA and your value use, they vote for the two
t's transactional and tribal. We'll deal with the domestic aspect
(11:08):
of this in just a moment, and then we'll move on.
Before we do that, let's talk about crime. Let me
ask you something. How many loans do you have right now?
Get a home loan, car loan? Those the two big
ones people normally have. Vote loan that hurts. What if
you had two or three? That you didn't know about well, Jesse,
(11:31):
I would know. No, no, no, no no. You'll find out
next time you go take out a loan and your
credit score is gone because someone stole your social Security
number and information online they would and took out a
fifty thousand dollars loan in your name, and you're on
the hook for it. You're about to be wiped out.
This is not a rare thing. This is all the time,
(11:53):
all the time. We just had a data breach. Seventeen
million people had their info addresses, phone numbers, email, states
of birth, social Security numbers was one of them. Yours.
Get LifeLock and you'll know. You'll know immediately if your
information shows up somewhere, and God forbid, the worst happens,
you'll get help. LifeLock will make you whole again. You
(12:16):
want thirty days of it for free, a thirty day
free trial. Call one eight hundred LifeLock and use the
promo code Jesse that gets you thirty days free. Or
go to LifeLock dot com promo code Jesse term supply.
We'll be back fighting for your freedom every day. The
Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse Kelly Show on
(12:41):
a wonderful, wonderful Tuesday. Remember you can email us and
we'll get to a bunch of those tonight. Jesse at
Jesse kellyshow dot com. You find it bizarre how we
can import foreign peoples from different cultures and they will
vote for things that don't make any sense. They simply
don't make any sense. How is it that all these
(13:04):
foreigners in New York City are getting ready to elect
a communist. They don't vote like you vote. They vote
for the two teas, transactional and tribal. Why do you
think how many times have we had this discussion? Why
do you think the globalist communists who run Western civilization
(13:24):
for the most part, why do you think they've been
on a decade's long mission to fill up every country
where they lead with as many foreigners as humanly possible.
Why do you think that is because they understand perfectly well,
you the patriotic American. You you don't get bought, You
(13:50):
can't be purchased. It's not transactional for you, and it's
not tribal for you. You don't care about how tall or short, white,
or black or someone is. These are not how you've vote.
If I put you in Virginia today. Maybe you're in Virginia.
If I put you in Virginia today, you would vote
for Winsome Seers over Abigail Spamberger. Why Abigail Spamberger is
(14:10):
as white as snow when some seerus as black. You
don't care. I don't care that the thought would never
cross your mind. But foreign peoples do care, from all
over the world, and it's exactly how they vote, exactly
how they vote tribal, and of course remember transactional. In
(14:33):
countries around the world, it is not abnormal to have
politicians run for office with specific promises of specific handouts
to certain groups and certain neighborhoods in certain areas. Elect me,
and I'll give you this. These are not considered dirty,
(14:54):
abnormal things in places around the planet. This is how
you run for office. This is how you achieve office.
This goes back to I mean, honestly, all of history
you can look at if you ever really feel like
nerding out on his historical stuff. You know something wild,
go look at the Roman days. Roman elections, because they
had to stand for elections, they'd flat out get up
(15:15):
and say, hey, if you're a veteran, we're going to
give you three acres. You vote for me, you got
three acres coming. This is just how politics has been
done historically. We're just not used to it because that's
not how you vote, and that's not how you want
to vote, and that's not how I vote. How can
you get up and give a speech like this and
get elected mayor because you've filled up the city with foreigners.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Here is what we stand for, my friends. We are
going to freeze the rent for more than two million
rent stabilized tenants and use every resource at our disposal
to build housing for everyone who needs it. We are
(15:53):
going to eliminate the fair on every single bus line.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
But that will work. That's that's socialism. That'll raise taxes,
but that will that. The foreigners they brought in don't
care about socialism. They don't care about freedom, care about
the constitution. That's not their culture. That's not what they
care about at all. Free rent sounds good. Hey, I
(16:22):
ride the bus every day. I'd like that free too.
You're gonna give me it? Okay, free sounds good? Sign
me up. Why do you think the communists brought in
so many Why do you think the Biden administration completely
unencumbered by a president who had a brain. The communists
inside of the Biden administration. Why do you think priority
(16:44):
one get the border open? Open it sue to make
sure the border wall can't be built. Not only open it,
fly as many foreigners into the United States of America
as possible. Remember that one story we did where there
was an Ohio town that had about two thousand people
(17:05):
in it, and the Biden administration brought two thousand Haitians
in completely replaced the town. Just replace the town. Why, well,
guess how those two thousand Haitians are going to vote.
They're going to vote differently than the two thousand Ohioans
who were there beforehand. They're going to vote tribal and
they're going to vote transactional. Why do you think this
(17:27):
has been the plan for years in years in years
in years, because it cuts you out of the equation.
They're tired of hearing about freedom and the constitution and
limits on government. These sick freaks just want to burn
down the country and rule over the ashes. And you
(17:47):
pesky patriotic American, you won't let them do it, but
you know who will click click and beep beep. They
just brought him and his thirty five family members into
the country, and they're handing him a well fair check
and free bus fair and they're gonna hand him this,
and they're going to hand him that and click, click
and beep beep. Have never heard of Thomas Jefferson. They
(18:08):
don't care about the Constitution. They don't know anything about
communism or socialism where taxes are spending, and they couldn't
possibly care less. All they want is some money for
an extra set of sandals and maybe a toothbrush for
everybody to share. That's the only thing they care about
at all. Don't vote like you vote, and that's why
(18:28):
they brought them here. Now I will finally wrap up
this point and we'll move on. Before we do that,
I want to read you this really quickly because we
got this one. Ladies mad about New York Jesse. My
husband is one of the hero first responders that was
at ground zero after nine to eleven and now he
suffers with the nine to eleven related illness and we'll
(18:51):
deal with it for the rest of his life. He
said he would do it all over again. Her name
is Sherry. This is why Tunnel to Towers exists for
heroes like this, heroes like Cherry's husband, people who still
suffer and would do it all over again. Tunnel to
(19:14):
Towers pays off mortgages for fallen first responders. They build
catastrophically wounded veterans smart homes. Tunnel to Towers has been
doing this for a very long time. All they've ever
asked is eleven bucks a month to care for these
people in these families. Go to t the number two
T dot org t twot dot org. We'll be back
(19:42):
Jesse Kelly. It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Tuesday.
So let me finish this up here. I wanted to
finish this email that I got to right before the
break here from Sherry Jesse. My husband is one of
the hero first responders. It was at ground zero after
(20:02):
nine to eleven. He now suffers with nine to eleven
related illness and will deal with it for the rest
of his life. He always said he would do it
all over again. I was in Manhattan during nine to eleven,
and that experience changed me forever. I am furious that
twenty four years later, New York City will relect that
third world crapholer. I am, however, optimist, an optimist and
(20:26):
I am hoping a year after his garbage rule it
will deliver us New York City or a New York
GOP governor. Well, I am hopeful too, but I want
to also clarify something. And she makes a great point,
and I'm hopeful as well. I'm going to clarify something.
(20:47):
The reason you bring in hostile, disloyal foreigners in mass
is to insulate yourself from having to suffer consequences for
policies that are disastrous and failed. This is a mistake
people on the right make, and I want to explain
(21:08):
it over and over and over again. Let's let's let's
step away from New York for a moment. Let's go
to Chicago, Chicago, if you've never been, in fact, I'm
going very soon. It's a work thing. Chicago is so
cool that the potential of Chicago is just so cool.
And I've had a great time in Chicago before. But
(21:30):
Chicago has absolutely been ravaged by corruption for decades. This
goes back, honestly decades decades of of the mafia involvement
in their local government is something that was well known,
but that there mayor used to go golf with the
Chicago outfit. I mean, probably still does for all I know.
(21:51):
But the corruption crime, decades of it, decades of it.
They have never even come close to switching from voting
Democrat and voting for a Republican. They've never even come close. Now,
the point of bringing in foreigners to collaborate with domestic
(22:14):
communists is there will never, ever, ever, effor ever be
a time when things have gotten so bad they will
consider voting in a different way. That's not how they vote.
It doesn't work that way. If you bring in people
(22:39):
to collaborate with your domestic terrorists, they will vote for
destruction for ever. That is the problem. If you truly
want to save these hostile foreign city states that reside
inside of our borders, you have to deport people. And
(22:59):
I've got some bad news for you. Well, it may
be bad news, maybe you'll get it. It's not just
the murderers, it's not just the rapists. It's not just
the guy from Guatemala with a rap sheet as long
as a CVS receipt. If you truly want to save
American cities, you are going to have to take every
(23:23):
single person who came here illegally and deport them, every
single one, men, women, children, Why do you think California
used to be read and now it's just this solid
blue wall disaster and the poor people who live there,
who are stuck there, who can't get out, suffer. Why
(23:46):
do you think that is foreigners? They let them all
come in and now the people are outnumbered. There are
more Republicans in California than any other state in the Union.
They have no representation at the state level whatsoever. I
realize they have some numbers in the state legislature, but
nothing close to a majority, and for the foreseeable future
they never will. But I don't understand. Crime is high,
(24:09):
taxes are high, fees are high. Don't people learn not
people who are transactional and tribal, They don't. People who
are transactional and tribal now will always be transactional and tribal.
You want them to wake up and learn, but they won't.
And when they collaborate with our domestic communists with Democrats, remember,
(24:33):
Democrats want everyone to suffer. The idea is to burn
everything down. That's what they want. It's not like they
can get so bad they're going to say, Wow, I
wish it wasn't like this. I'll vote Republican now that's
the whole idea burning down the country you hate. But
back to what I was discussing, we are going to
(24:53):
have to deport people, all of them, and we're going
to have to take it a step further. We are
going to have to denaturalize people and deport them too.
I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with it. You cannot fill
up your country with foreigners like this and can continue
(25:14):
on as a nation. You will lose parts of your
country if you allow foreigners like this to stay.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
America is the genesis of what we call settler colonialism,
and the American model was exported all around the world.
Abraham Lincoln generalized the solution of reservations. They herded American
Indians into separate territories for the Nazis. This was the inspiration.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah, you heard it, the other downity to play it
all right. Now, why do you think, well, here's the headline,
Soro's fingerprints found all over the rise of democratic socialist
Zoron Mamdani. Why do you think all these hostile foreigners
have spent billions of dollars to bring in as many
of these people as possible and then fund them all.
(26:09):
Why do you think that is, this is all part
of the planned destruction of the United States of America.
And if we're being fair, it's not only foreigners who
are transactional and tribal. America's communists are as well. I
played this clip for you the other day. I'm gonna
play it again. Gavin Newsom's already running for president in
(26:30):
twenty twenty eight. He has to do this thing where
he has to pretend like he hasn't decided yet and
as if he hasn't dreamt of this moment forever. And
so he's already bouncing around the podcast scene. Because you
watch Donald Trump bounce around the podcast scene gathering up
as many votes as possible. He goes on an NBA
(26:50):
podcast and blatantly panders, lying through his teeth. Why why
would you be so obvious about the pander?
Speaker 4 (26:59):
But also, you know, it was also about paying the bills, man,
And it was just like hustling, and and so I
was out there kind of raising myself, turning on the
TV started, you know, just getting obsessed, you know, sitting
there with the you know, the wonderbread and five stacks
of you know, like the white.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Come on.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
Every day every day in the backyard, just bouncing the basketball,
throwing the ball against the wall until the ball is
just like fraying, man, and you're that's it whole thing.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Hey man, just hustling, just out there, hustling yo, wonderbread
and mac and cheek and playing hoops, just hooping it up.
That's all fake. They know it's fake. Everyone listening knows
it's fake. The host know it's fake. Newsome knows it's fake.
That's what they want, transactional tribal. Hey man, wonder bread,
(28:02):
just a hustling of wonder bread. Y'oll you you want
to play some hoops. Remember when Pete budhaj Edge, trying
to get the black vote, went and got a forty
forty ounce of beer in a brown paper bag, I
kid you not, and drank it with some black dudes
in the hood. There's a video of it you can
go look at. I'm not making it. One of the
(28:22):
funniest political things I've ever seen in my life. Why
did they do it? Because it works because it works
in Democrat circles. Doesn't work for people on the right,
but if you're on the left, that's why they do it,
and it works. All right, Let's get off of this stuff.
Get off of this stuff, and let's do some emails. Wonderful,
wonderful things happening. Tell you about the time I almost
(28:44):
stabbed somebody with the fork. It's going to be a
wonderful show tonight on the Jesse Kelly Show. Before I
get to any of that, speaking of click, click and
beat beat foreigners, does your cell phone company higher Americans?
Or does your cell phone company fire Americans and go
grab foreigners and pay them pennies on the dollar. And
(29:06):
now you have some programmed, brain dead robot at a
call center and some godforsaken dump trying to explain to
them the problem with your cell phone bill. I have
Pure Talk. Pure Talk is the veteran led company Vietnam
Veteran Mac VSOG two tours. That's who leads Puretalk. Do
you want to know why when you pick up your
(29:28):
phone and dial pound two five zero and say, Jesse Kelly,
why you get to speak to an American who speaks English?
Because that's what Puretalk cares about. They make it a
priority American jobs, an American company that shares and promotes
your values. So pick up that phone and switch dial
pound two five zero and say Jesse Kelly pound two
(29:53):
five zero, say Jesse Kelly, We'll be back the Jesse
Kelly Show. It's still real to me. Damn it, the
tern stacks. It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a
wonderful Tuesday. Remember you can email the show Jesse at
jesse kellyshow dot com. Did I ever tell you about
(30:14):
the time I almost stabbed somebody with a fork. It's
I'll show the night that I got hit the hardest
I've ever been hitting my entire life. And I thought
about this. Look, I'll get back to politics in a minute,
in the shutdown and stuff like that. But I saw
this story about an Indian man charged with stabbing two
teams with a fork on a flight out of Chicago.
First of all, flying in and out of Chicago will
(30:34):
make anybody a little stabby. That's just the way the
place is. That's one. Two. We were in the Marine
Corps and we had a couple nights off. I forget
how many how much time we had off, But we
go out to Palm Springs because I was stationed in
twenty nine Palms. We go out to Palm Springs. There's
a few of us out there, and if you're a local,
(30:58):
certainly a local young man. You probably don't have the
best view of United States Marines. Why because you have
a bunch of young, cocky Marines coming into town competing
for your women. This is the this is the way
societies work. This is certainly the way young men think.
(31:20):
It's a competition for the dimes, and it's that's the
all w it is so already there's a certain level
of hostility with the other young men in the Palm
Springs commit community towards the United States Marines. Because it
was close enough. I'm gonna say it was two hours away.
That very mayby wrong. It's been twenty years, but I
(31:40):
want to say it's a couple hours away. We end
up because we are an extremely classy bunch. We end
up at TGI Fridays. I don't even know if those
exist anymore. But there was a time they had an
extra cheesy cheeseburger that had a path a mozzarella stick
(32:01):
pad for the cheese on top, and they served it
with keeso you could dip it in. It was a
Chris It's one of the great restaurant burgers of all time.
I think it's gone now, and don't distract me. We
end up at TGI Fridays having a couple of beers
being stupid. My buddy, of course, is outside on the
TGI Friday's patio and he's talking to some women out there.
(32:25):
Things start to go south because there are some dudes
out there with them. I go storming outside and do
you know the the Clint Eastwood thing. Anyone has a problem,
that's let's work it out right here, you know, just
being an idiot like young men do. Being an idiot. Hey,
anybody wants to thow hands, we can do it right now.
(32:46):
A young idiot, I got it. They all kind of
back off. No no, no, no, no, no no. And I'm sure
I said something to the effect of, yeah, that's right.
There's something dumb that I shouldn't have said. A big friggin' moron,
rubbit run in my mouth. I am wearing a ball
cap at the time. That's going to come into play here.
(33:07):
I forget it. My buddy goes back inside. I go
back inside. I go sit back down at the bar
to eat my cheeseburger, which I am dipping in kso
at the time I am hunched over my cheeseburger and
all of a sudden wham, somebody snatches my ball cap
off of my head. I think, who is about to die?
(33:32):
And I turn around and it is one of the
largest human beings I have ever seen in my entire life.
He was Chris said, did that stop you? No? But
it did let me know I probably needed some assistance.
What assistance, well, a weapon of some kind of course.
(33:52):
So I turn around the second I see this dude,
and I see how big he is. I turn around
and I grab my TGI Friday's four, and I turn
around and try to stab him with the fork. This
is terrible, what Chris being honest about what happened. My buddies,
who don't want me to go to jail, they grab
me and hold me back from stabbing him with the fork.
(34:15):
He throws my hat on the ground and something said
something about I'll beat you outside or something like that.
My buddies are trying to calm me down because they
understand that I have a temper at this point in
time and I very well may end up in jail
and or die. Because this guy had hands that looked
like dinner plates. That I was not in a current
(34:39):
state of mind to be concerned with such things. So
I lied and I told my buddies, I'm fine, no, no,
not even interested. I let it go, just let me
get my hat. It's all good, totally fine. I wait
until they turned back around to eat their cheeseburgers, which
they dip in QESO. I then turn and bolt towards
(35:03):
the front door so I can go out there. And
I'm sure in my mind I had dreamt of going
out there and stomping this dude. It had two sets
of doors, both of them solid. That's important. There were
no windows. I could not see through them. I burst
through the first set of double doors, and there's this
little entryway, and then I burst through the next set
(35:27):
of double doors. He is waiting right there with his
fist already cocked back this It was the millisecond that
second set of double doors open, and of course I
was leading with my face through them. You know, you
have your head down. Wam. He hits me so freaking hard.
(35:51):
I have been hit several times in my life and
done some hitting myself. I have never been punched that hard,
and all of my life it is if I a
miracle from God that I don't really get knocked out
that's purely as a it's a I don't know, a
genetic thing. I would guess, but that is as close
as I've ever been, and I would guess that I
(36:12):
was briefly. I saw so many stars I had to
drop down to a knee. My buddies at this point
in time come pouring out. Then the TGI. Friday's staff
comes pouring out, calling the police. We end up having
to run through this dark neighborhood in Palm Springs running
from the police, which I would really recommend. Really, you
(36:35):
really don't want to do any of these things. I
really want you to be smarter and better than I
am what Chris. But Chris said, I got punched, but
I didn't assault him. I think the cops probably would
have frowned on the fork thing, probably a bit that
probably would have I did not stab him, that is correct,
(36:56):
That is correct, but they probably would have frowned on that.
And then I had to show up in formation on
Monday morning and it wasn't my eye. The entire left
side of my face was spoollen shut. Do you have
any idea how that conversation went with the company first sergeant?
(37:19):
It did not go well. I have no idea why
I chose to tell you that story. Right now, we
should go back and talk about some politics. Let's talk
briefly about the shutdown and what made it even worse.
By the way, I didn't have cozy Earth sheets back then.
I didn't have a cozy Earth robe to wrap myself
(37:41):
in with my spoillen face. I didn't have any of
these things. I didn't have cozy Earth pajamas. I didn't
have everywhere pants. I was without any cozy Earth comfort.
Just me, my stupidity, and my shame. That's the bad news.
The good news is everything I have is cozy Earth now.
(38:02):
And you know Black Friday's coming. You know Black Friday
is already here for Cozy Earth. Have you been to
cozyearth dot com. Of course you have. Have you dreamt
about maybe getting this or getting that? When you use
the code Jesse at cozyearth dot com right now, you
get up to forty percent off. Up to forty percent off.
(38:23):
This will only last while the supplies do. But Black
Friday has arrived even though it's Tuesday. Cozyearth dot Com
promo code Jesse, go rest your swollen face on it.
We'll be back
This is a Jesse Kelly show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show. Let's have some fun on a Tuesday, a
magnificent Tuesday, and all we have so much for you tonight.
(00:32):
First of all, we're getting closer to Japan. Not that
I'm gonna talk about that much or even probably at all,
but I think that's really cool. We'll discuss that briefly
tonight on the show. We are going to talk a
little bit in the opening here in just a minute
or so, about the difference in how you vote versus
many foreign peoples throughout history. We'll talk about that there's
(00:53):
a big difference that people don't realize. We're gonna talk
about Democrats potentially reaching the end of the line, the
shutdown stuff, the Hitler stuff, a Confederate statue is going
back up. You're going to be shocked to find out
there's turbulence in the middle of a hurricane, Communists sending
over female spies to seduce our tech nerds, all that
(01:16):
emails and so much more coming up tonight on the
world famous Jesse Kelly Show. And now the first I'm
gonna do this. I'm gonna do a little experiment. Let's
say let's say twenty twenty eight is over JD vance
is one. Let's just assume we're going that way. You
know what. Let's let's fast forward all the way. We
(01:37):
just got done with two terms of Jdvans. All right,
it's all the way to the twenty thirty six two
terms of Jdvans. Now, I put somebody in front of you,
and this someone I put in front of you, you
know what, you know what. They're with you on taxes,
they are with you on the border. Whatever you want,
(02:00):
I want don on the border. They share those values
everything from pro life regulations, energy policy, foreign policy. They
align with you. They are with you and want what
you want. Let me ask you, would you vote for
that person? Obviously, probably rolling your eyes, it's a pretty
(02:23):
obvious point, yes, of course. But I didn't tell you
what they looked like. I didn't tell you if there
were tall, short, skinny, fat. I didn't tell you their religion.
I didn't tell you their skin color I told I
didn't tell you their sex. I didn't say if it
(02:43):
was a male or female. And you just said you
would vote for that person. Why, well, this may seem
like an obvious point. Believe me, it is not. Though
you vote for the person who will implement the policies
you want implement it. That is how you vote. Now,
(03:04):
maybe you're shrugging your shoulders and saying, well, yeah, but
this is my point. You don't understand that's unique. You,
in the history of politics, in the history of the world,
are unique in that regard. The American right is unique
(03:26):
in that regard. We have in our DNA courtesy of
the founding of this country. We have a natural distrust
of government, even if maybe you're a little more big
government in this area, or maybe I am in that area,
although I don't think I am in any area, but
maybe you're. We differ on things, there's no question about it.
(03:46):
But we have a natural distrust of government. And we
don't run to the government with our hands out. That's
not how we operate. We don't. Even if we do,
we're kind of ashamed of that and kind of hide
that fact. That's not how we look at government. You
and I. We do not look at the people we
(04:07):
elect as people who will give us this or give
us that, And in general, we do not look at
them as people we can purely relate to. I made
up this totally fictional candidate for twenty thirty six, and
you said you would vote for them. And I didn't
even tell you what they looked like. I told you
nothing about them, and you said you would vote for them.
(04:30):
Because what they look like, what their religion is, what
their skin color is not a priority for you. It's
not how you vote, It's not how I vote. I
would never in a million years look at ten candidates
on stage doing a debate and make my decision on
who to support based on whether they're tall or short,
or skinny or fat, or white or black. That would
(04:52):
never occur to me, and it would generally never occur
to you. But the point is that is insanely unique.
And in fact, we're going to go to this New
York City race which I touched on a little bit
last night, to make this important point. Why why is
it that American born New Yorkers completely reject this communist
(05:14):
and foreign born New Yorkers love him, absolutely love him.
Let me tell you how peoples around the planet vote,
and not just now, historically, how peoples many people, I
would probably say most people around the planet have historically voted.
They vote on the two teas, two teas you ready.
(05:37):
First transactionally in American politics, if I was running for
president and I stood up right now and I gave
a speech in front of you, and I said, hey,
you vote for me, vote for Jesse Kelly. And you
know what if you vote for me, If you vote
(05:59):
for me, if you put me in office, I'm gonna
build you a brand new school, and I'm gonna send
you a thousand dollars check in the mail. You would
be grossed out, wouldn't you. No, I'm sure you would
like a thousand dollar check in the mail. We all would.
But wouldn't that seem gross? Even though we know politicians
(06:21):
try to do that? It would seem gross if I
just stood up and said, hey, new school, thousand dollars check,
that would seem gross to you. But peoples around the
world that's exactly how they vote, and the politicians themselves,
they run for office on these platforms purely transactionally. You
(06:44):
vote for me, I will give you this. How in
the world can the next mayor of New York City
get up and give a speech like this and get elected?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Here is what we stand for, my friends, going to
freeze the rent for more than two million rent stabilized
tenants and use every resource at our disposal to build
housing for everyone who needs it. We are going to
(07:18):
eliminate the fair on every single bus line.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Purely transactional. He's open about it because he understands the
foreigners who have poured into New York City. That's how
they vote, purely transactional, totally different than any way you vote.
How could they be We have a hard time understanding.
Don't they understand? It will get it will get dirtier,
(07:46):
it'll be there'll be worse crime that, there will be this,
This won't work, taxes will grow up. Don't they understand.
People from around the world do not vote like you.
They do not vote with the values you vote with.
People around the world from so many cultures, from most cultures.
(08:08):
They vote on the two teas. Now I just said one.
The first one is transactional, purely transactional, vote for me.
I'll give you this period. The second part is tribal.
That's how people from around the planet and American Democrats
vote this way in large Part two. Now that the
Communist revolution is these different groups. But we're going to
(08:31):
make this about foreigners for now. We'll come back domestically
in a moment purely tribal. If I told you right now,
the next election, I'm voting for whoever's white. That would
be kind of a turnoff, right. Not only would it
be weird and stupid, it would be kind of a turnoff.
(08:51):
I'm only voting for the white guy. I don't want
to see any black people up there. There better not
be any Mexicans, only the white guy. That's who I
vote for. White, I vote for my skin color. Period.
That would be weird and dumb and not good. But
that's how people around the planet vote all the time,
(09:13):
all the time. What why is ma'am Donnie, Why is
he up there telling fake nine to eleven?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yes, I was speaking about my aunt. I was speaking
about Santau, my father's cousin, who sadly passed away a
few years ago.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
And that was the wrong button. This is the fake
nine to eleven story. That was his uh. That was
his little try attempt at saving face after he lied
about this.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
I want to use this moment to speak to the
Muslims of New York City.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I want to speak to the memory of my aunt,
who stopped taking the subway after September eleventh, because she
did not feel safe in her head.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Jab why give that speech? Because New York City has
over a million Muslims and and Mam Donnie is under
the impression they're going to vote for him because he
is one and the poll numbers say that's true. And
this is not unique by the way, to Muslims, foreigners
(10:25):
from around the planet, they vote tribally. What why do
the what are the people in Minneapolis now routinely put
Somali candidates up? Samali foreigners vote for Somali's transactionally and tribally.
(10:46):
If you sit and scratch your head at why any
group would vote for this person or that person anywhere.
People don't share your values, people who don't share your
DNA and your value use, they vote for the two
t's transactional and tribal. We'll deal with the domestic aspect
(11:08):
of this in just a moment, and then we'll move on.
Before we do that, let's talk about crime. Let me
ask you something. How many loans do you have right now?
Get a home loan, car loan? Those the two big
ones people normally have. Vote loan that hurts. What if
you had two or three? That you didn't know about well, Jesse,
(11:31):
I would know. No, no, no, no no. You'll find out
next time you go take out a loan and your
credit score is gone because someone stole your social Security
number and information online they would and took out a
fifty thousand dollars loan in your name, and you're on
the hook for it. You're about to be wiped out.
This is not a rare thing. This is all the time,
(11:53):
all the time. We just had a data breach. Seventeen
million people had their info addresses, phone numbers, email, states
of birth, social Security numbers was one of them. Yours.
Get LifeLock and you'll know. You'll know immediately if your
information shows up somewhere, and God forbid, the worst happens,
you'll get help. LifeLock will make you whole again. You
(12:16):
want thirty days of it for free, a thirty day
free trial. Call one eight hundred LifeLock and use the
promo code Jesse that gets you thirty days free. Or
go to LifeLock dot com promo code Jesse term supply.
We'll be back fighting for your freedom every day. The
Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse Kelly Show on
(12:41):
a wonderful, wonderful Tuesday. Remember you can email us and
we'll get to a bunch of those tonight. Jesse at
Jesse kellyshow dot com. You find it bizarre how we
can import foreign peoples from different cultures and they will
vote for things that don't make any sense. They simply
don't make any sense. How is it that all these
(13:04):
foreigners in New York City are getting ready to elect
a communist. They don't vote like you vote. They vote
for the two teas, transactional and tribal. Why do you
think how many times have we had this discussion? Why
do you think the globalist communists who run Western civilization
(13:24):
for the most part, why do you think they've been
on a decade's long mission to fill up every country
where they lead with as many foreigners as humanly possible.
Why do you think that is because they understand perfectly well,
you the patriotic American. You you don't get bought, You
(13:50):
can't be purchased. It's not transactional for you, and it's
not tribal for you. You don't care about how tall or short, white,
or black or someone is. These are not how you've vote.
If I put you in Virginia today. Maybe you're in Virginia.
If I put you in Virginia today, you would vote
for Winsome Seers over Abigail Spamberger. Why Abigail Spamberger is
(14:10):
as white as snow when some seerus as black. You
don't care. I don't care that the thought would never
cross your mind. But foreign peoples do care, from all
over the world, and it's exactly how they vote, exactly
how they vote tribal, and of course remember transactional. In
(14:33):
countries around the world, it is not abnormal to have
politicians run for office with specific promises of specific handouts
to certain groups and certain neighborhoods in certain areas. Elect me,
and I'll give you this. These are not considered dirty,
(14:54):
abnormal things in places around the planet. This is how
you run for office. This is how you achieve office.
This goes back to I mean, honestly, all of history
you can look at if you ever really feel like
nerding out on his historical stuff. You know something wild,
go look at the Roman days. Roman elections, because they
had to stand for elections, they'd flat out get up
(15:15):
and say, hey, if you're a veteran, we're going to
give you three acres. You vote for me, you got
three acres coming. This is just how politics has been
done historically. We're just not used to it because that's
not how you vote, and that's not how you want
to vote, and that's not how I vote. How can
you get up and give a speech like this and
get elected mayor because you've filled up the city with foreigners.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Here is what we stand for, my friends. We are
going to freeze the rent for more than two million
rent stabilized tenants and use every resource at our disposal
to build housing for everyone who needs it. We are
(15:53):
going to eliminate the fair on every single bus line.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
But that will work. That's that's socialism. That'll raise taxes,
but that will that. The foreigners they brought in don't
care about socialism. They don't care about freedom, care about
the constitution. That's not their culture. That's not what they
care about at all. Free rent sounds good. Hey, I
(16:22):
ride the bus every day. I'd like that free too.
You're gonna give me it? Okay, free sounds good? Sign
me up. Why do you think the communists brought in
so many Why do you think the Biden administration completely
unencumbered by a president who had a brain. The communists
inside of the Biden administration. Why do you think priority
(16:44):
one get the border open? Open it sue to make
sure the border wall can't be built. Not only open it,
fly as many foreigners into the United States of America
as possible. Remember that one story we did where there
was an Ohio town that had about two thousand people
(17:05):
in it, and the Biden administration brought two thousand Haitians
in completely replaced the town. Just replace the town. Why, well,
guess how those two thousand Haitians are going to vote.
They're going to vote differently than the two thousand Ohioans
who were there beforehand. They're going to vote tribal and
they're going to vote transactional. Why do you think this
(17:27):
has been the plan for years in years in years
in years, because it cuts you out of the equation.
They're tired of hearing about freedom and the constitution and
limits on government. These sick freaks just want to burn
down the country and rule over the ashes. And you
(17:47):
pesky patriotic American, you won't let them do it, but
you know who will click click and beep beep. They
just brought him and his thirty five family members into
the country, and they're handing him a well fair check
and free bus fair and they're gonna hand him this,
and they're going to hand him that and click, click
and beep beep. Have never heard of Thomas Jefferson. They
(18:08):
don't care about the Constitution. They don't know anything about
communism or socialism where taxes are spending, and they couldn't
possibly care less. All they want is some money for
an extra set of sandals and maybe a toothbrush for
everybody to share. That's the only thing they care about
at all. Don't vote like you vote, and that's why
(18:28):
they brought them here. Now I will finally wrap up
this point and we'll move on. Before we do that,
I want to read you this really quickly because we
got this one. Ladies mad about New York Jesse. My
husband is one of the hero first responders that was
at ground zero after nine to eleven and now he
suffers with the nine to eleven related illness and we'll
(18:51):
deal with it for the rest of his life. He
said he would do it all over again. Her name
is Sherry. This is why Tunnel to Towers exists for
heroes like this, heroes like Cherry's husband, people who still
suffer and would do it all over again. Tunnel to
(19:14):
Towers pays off mortgages for fallen first responders. They build
catastrophically wounded veterans smart homes. Tunnel to Towers has been
doing this for a very long time. All they've ever
asked is eleven bucks a month to care for these
people in these families. Go to t the number two
T dot org t twot dot org. We'll be back
(19:42):
Jesse Kelly. It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a Tuesday.
So let me finish this up here. I wanted to
finish this email that I got to right before the
break here from Sherry Jesse. My husband is one of
the hero first responders. It was at ground zero after
(20:02):
nine to eleven. He now suffers with nine to eleven
related illness and will deal with it for the rest
of his life. He always said he would do it
all over again. I was in Manhattan during nine to eleven,
and that experience changed me forever. I am furious that
twenty four years later, New York City will relect that
third world crapholer. I am, however, optimist, an optimist and
(20:26):
I am hoping a year after his garbage rule it
will deliver us New York City or a New York
GOP governor. Well, I am hopeful too, but I want
to also clarify something. And she makes a great point,
and I'm hopeful as well. I'm going to clarify something.
(20:47):
The reason you bring in hostile, disloyal foreigners in mass
is to insulate yourself from having to suffer consequences for
policies that are disastrous and failed. This is a mistake
people on the right make, and I want to explain
(21:08):
it over and over and over again. Let's let's let's
step away from New York for a moment. Let's go
to Chicago, Chicago, if you've never been, in fact, I'm
going very soon. It's a work thing. Chicago is so
cool that the potential of Chicago is just so cool.
And I've had a great time in Chicago before. But
(21:30):
Chicago has absolutely been ravaged by corruption for decades. This
goes back, honestly decades decades of of the mafia involvement
in their local government is something that was well known,
but that there mayor used to go golf with the
Chicago outfit. I mean, probably still does for all I know.
(21:51):
But the corruption crime, decades of it, decades of it.
They have never even come close to switching from voting
Democrat and voting for a Republican. They've never even come close. Now,
the point of bringing in foreigners to collaborate with domestic
(22:14):
communists is there will never, ever, ever, effor ever be
a time when things have gotten so bad they will
consider voting in a different way. That's not how they vote.
It doesn't work that way. If you bring in people
(22:39):
to collaborate with your domestic terrorists, they will vote for
destruction for ever. That is the problem. If you truly
want to save these hostile foreign city states that reside
inside of our borders, you have to deport people. And
(22:59):
I've got some bad news for you. Well, it may
be bad news, maybe you'll get it. It's not just
the murderers, it's not just the rapists. It's not just
the guy from Guatemala with a rap sheet as long
as a CVS receipt. If you truly want to save
American cities, you are going to have to take every
(23:23):
single person who came here illegally and deport them, every
single one, men, women, children, Why do you think California
used to be read and now it's just this solid
blue wall disaster and the poor people who live there,
who are stuck there, who can't get out, suffer. Why
(23:46):
do you think that is foreigners? They let them all
come in and now the people are outnumbered. There are
more Republicans in California than any other state in the Union.
They have no representation at the state level whatsoever. I
realize they have some numbers in the state legislature, but
nothing close to a majority, and for the foreseeable future
they never will. But I don't understand. Crime is high,
(24:09):
taxes are high, fees are high. Don't people learn not
people who are transactional and tribal, They don't. People who
are transactional and tribal now will always be transactional and tribal.
You want them to wake up and learn, but they won't.
And when they collaborate with our domestic communists with Democrats, remember,
(24:33):
Democrats want everyone to suffer. The idea is to burn
everything down. That's what they want. It's not like they
can get so bad they're going to say, Wow, I
wish it wasn't like this. I'll vote Republican now that's
the whole idea burning down the country you hate. But
back to what I was discussing, we are going to
(24:53):
have to deport people, all of them, and we're going
to have to take it a step further. We are
going to have to denaturalize people and deport them too.
I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with it. You cannot fill
up your country with foreigners like this and can continue
(25:14):
on as a nation. You will lose parts of your
country if you allow foreigners like this to stay.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
America is the genesis of what we call settler colonialism,
and the American model was exported all around the world.
Abraham Lincoln generalized the solution of reservations. They herded American
Indians into separate territories for the Nazis. This was the inspiration.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah, you heard it, the other downity to play it
all right. Now, why do you think, well, here's the headline,
Soro's fingerprints found all over the rise of democratic socialist
Zoron Mamdani. Why do you think all these hostile foreigners
have spent billions of dollars to bring in as many
of these people as possible and then fund them all.
(26:09):
Why do you think that is, this is all part
of the planned destruction of the United States of America.
And if we're being fair, it's not only foreigners who
are transactional and tribal. America's communists are as well. I
played this clip for you the other day. I'm gonna
play it again. Gavin Newsom's already running for president in
(26:30):
twenty twenty eight. He has to do this thing where
he has to pretend like he hasn't decided yet and
as if he hasn't dreamt of this moment forever. And
so he's already bouncing around the podcast scene. Because you
watch Donald Trump bounce around the podcast scene gathering up
as many votes as possible. He goes on an NBA
(26:50):
podcast and blatantly panders, lying through his teeth. Why why
would you be so obvious about the pander?
Speaker 4 (26:59):
But also, you know, it was also about paying the bills, man,
And it was just like hustling, and and so I
was out there kind of raising myself, turning on the
TV started, you know, just getting obsessed, you know, sitting
there with the you know, the wonderbread and five stacks
of you know, like the white.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Come on.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
Every day every day in the backyard, just bouncing the basketball,
throwing the ball against the wall until the ball is
just like fraying, man, and you're that's it whole thing.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Hey man, just hustling, just out there, hustling yo, wonderbread
and mac and cheek and playing hoops, just hooping it up.
That's all fake. They know it's fake. Everyone listening knows
it's fake. The host know it's fake. Newsome knows it's fake.
That's what they want, transactional tribal. Hey man, wonder bread,
(28:02):
just a hustling of wonder bread. Y'oll you you want
to play some hoops. Remember when Pete budhaj Edge, trying
to get the black vote, went and got a forty
forty ounce of beer in a brown paper bag, I
kid you not, and drank it with some black dudes
in the hood. There's a video of it you can
go look at. I'm not making it. One of the
(28:22):
funniest political things I've ever seen in my life. Why
did they do it? Because it works because it works
in Democrat circles. Doesn't work for people on the right,
but if you're on the left, that's why they do it,
and it works. All right, Let's get off of this stuff.
Get off of this stuff, and let's do some emails. Wonderful,
wonderful things happening. Tell you about the time I almost
(28:44):
stabbed somebody with the fork. It's going to be a
wonderful show tonight on the Jesse Kelly Show. Before I
get to any of that, speaking of click, click and
beat beat foreigners, does your cell phone company higher Americans?
Or does your cell phone company fire Americans and go
grab foreigners and pay them pennies on the dollar. And
(29:06):
now you have some programmed, brain dead robot at a
call center and some godforsaken dump trying to explain to
them the problem with your cell phone bill. I have
Pure Talk. Pure Talk is the veteran led company Vietnam
Veteran Mac VSOG two tours. That's who leads Puretalk. Do
you want to know why when you pick up your
(29:28):
phone and dial pound two five zero and say, Jesse Kelly,
why you get to speak to an American who speaks English?
Because that's what Puretalk cares about. They make it a
priority American jobs, an American company that shares and promotes
your values. So pick up that phone and switch dial
pound two five zero and say Jesse Kelly pound two
(29:53):
five zero, say Jesse Kelly, We'll be back the Jesse
Kelly Show. It's still real to me. Damn it, the
tern stacks. It is the Jesse Kelly Show on a
wonderful Tuesday. Remember you can email the show Jesse at
jesse kellyshow dot com. Did I ever tell you about
(30:14):
the time I almost stabbed somebody with a fork. It's
I'll show the night that I got hit the hardest
I've ever been hitting my entire life. And I thought
about this. Look, I'll get back to politics in a minute,
in the shutdown and stuff like that. But I saw
this story about an Indian man charged with stabbing two
teams with a fork on a flight out of Chicago.
First of all, flying in and out of Chicago will
(30:34):
make anybody a little stabby. That's just the way the
place is. That's one. Two. We were in the Marine
Corps and we had a couple nights off. I forget
how many how much time we had off, But we
go out to Palm Springs because I was stationed in
twenty nine Palms. We go out to Palm Springs. There's
a few of us out there, and if you're a local,
(30:58):
certainly a local young man. You probably don't have the
best view of United States Marines. Why because you have
a bunch of young, cocky Marines coming into town competing
for your women. This is the this is the way
societies work. This is certainly the way young men think.
(31:20):
It's a competition for the dimes, and it's that's the
all w it is so already there's a certain level
of hostility with the other young men in the Palm
Springs commit community towards the United States Marines. Because it
was close enough. I'm gonna say it was two hours away.
That very mayby wrong. It's been twenty years, but I
(31:40):
want to say it's a couple hours away. We end
up because we are an extremely classy bunch. We end
up at TGI Fridays. I don't even know if those
exist anymore. But there was a time they had an
extra cheesy cheeseburger that had a path a mozzarella stick
(32:01):
pad for the cheese on top, and they served it
with keeso you could dip it in. It was a
Chris It's one of the great restaurant burgers of all time.
I think it's gone now, and don't distract me. We
end up at TGI Fridays having a couple of beers
being stupid. My buddy, of course, is outside on the
TGI Friday's patio and he's talking to some women out there.
(32:25):
Things start to go south because there are some dudes
out there with them. I go storming outside and do
you know the the Clint Eastwood thing. Anyone has a problem,
that's let's work it out right here, you know, just
being an idiot like young men do. Being an idiot. Hey,
anybody wants to thow hands, we can do it right now.
(32:46):
A young idiot, I got it. They all kind of
back off. No no, no, no, no, no no. And I'm sure
I said something to the effect of, yeah, that's right.
There's something dumb that I shouldn't have said. A big friggin' moron,
rubbit run in my mouth. I am wearing a ball
cap at the time. That's going to come into play here.
(33:07):
I forget it. My buddy goes back inside. I go
back inside. I go sit back down at the bar
to eat my cheeseburger, which I am dipping in kso
at the time I am hunched over my cheeseburger and
all of a sudden wham, somebody snatches my ball cap
off of my head. I think, who is about to die?
(33:32):
And I turn around and it is one of the
largest human beings I have ever seen in my entire life.
He was Chris said, did that stop you? No? But
it did let me know I probably needed some assistance.
What assistance, well, a weapon of some kind of course.
(33:52):
So I turn around the second I see this dude,
and I see how big he is. I turn around
and I grab my TGI Friday's four, and I turn
around and try to stab him with the fork. This
is terrible, what Chris being honest about what happened. My buddies,
who don't want me to go to jail, they grab
me and hold me back from stabbing him with the fork.
(34:15):
He throws my hat on the ground and something said
something about I'll beat you outside or something like that.
My buddies are trying to calm me down because they
understand that I have a temper at this point in
time and I very well may end up in jail
and or die. Because this guy had hands that looked
like dinner plates. That I was not in a current
(34:39):
state of mind to be concerned with such things. So
I lied and I told my buddies, I'm fine, no, no,
not even interested. I let it go, just let me
get my hat. It's all good, totally fine. I wait
until they turned back around to eat their cheeseburgers, which
they dip in QESO. I then turn and bolt towards
(35:03):
the front door so I can go out there. And
I'm sure in my mind I had dreamt of going
out there and stomping this dude. It had two sets
of doors, both of them solid. That's important. There were
no windows. I could not see through them. I burst
through the first set of double doors, and there's this
little entryway, and then I burst through the next set
(35:27):
of double doors. He is waiting right there with his
fist already cocked back this It was the millisecond that
second set of double doors open, and of course I
was leading with my face through them. You know, you
have your head down. Wam. He hits me so freaking hard.
(35:51):
I have been hit several times in my life and
done some hitting myself. I have never been punched that hard,
and all of my life it is if I a
miracle from God that I don't really get knocked out
that's purely as a it's a I don't know, a
genetic thing. I would guess, but that is as close
as I've ever been, and I would guess that I
(36:12):
was briefly. I saw so many stars I had to
drop down to a knee. My buddies at this point
in time come pouring out. Then the TGI. Friday's staff
comes pouring out, calling the police. We end up having
to run through this dark neighborhood in Palm Springs running
from the police, which I would really recommend. Really, you
(36:35):
really don't want to do any of these things. I
really want you to be smarter and better than I
am what Chris. But Chris said, I got punched, but
I didn't assault him. I think the cops probably would
have frowned on the fork thing, probably a bit that
probably would have I did not stab him, that is correct,
(36:56):
That is correct, but they probably would have frowned on that.
And then I had to show up in formation on
Monday morning and it wasn't my eye. The entire left
side of my face was spoollen shut. Do you have
any idea how that conversation went with the company first sergeant?
(37:19):
It did not go well. I have no idea why
I chose to tell you that story. Right now, we
should go back and talk about some politics. Let's talk
briefly about the shutdown and what made it even worse.
By the way, I didn't have cozy Earth sheets back then.
I didn't have a cozy Earth robe to wrap myself
(37:41):
in with my spoillen face. I didn't have any of
these things. I didn't have cozy Earth pajamas. I didn't
have everywhere pants. I was without any cozy Earth comfort.
Just me, my stupidity, and my shame. That's the bad news.
The good news is everything I have is cozy Earth now.
(38:02):
And you know Black Friday's coming. You know Black Friday
is already here for Cozy Earth. Have you been to
cozyearth dot com. Of course you have. Have you dreamt
about maybe getting this or getting that? When you use
the code Jesse at cozyearth dot com right now, you
get up to forty percent off. Up to forty percent off.
(38:23):
This will only last while the supplies do. But Black
Friday has arrived even though it's Tuesday. Cozyearth dot Com
promo code Jesse, go rest your swollen face on it.
We'll be back
Host
Jesse Kelly
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