December 18, 2024 • 38 mins
Jesse wraps up the history of the Philippine-American War. Dome is talking again. Mayorkas on the Chinese hacking American telecommunications and what the response was from the U.S. Rat Update. Jesse's son's shock him and his wife with some movie theater accusations.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is a Jesse Kelly show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show. Final hour of The Jesse Kelly Show on
a Wednesday. It has been an eventful Wednesday. The first
hour we tackled a bunch of cr stuff. The last hour,
in case you missed it, I've been telling the story
(00:31):
of the Philippine American War and I'm still not done yet.
In fact, there's still some spicy stuff to go. As
soon as I finished that, and maybe shortly, and it
may not be shortly, I'm not quite sure. Yet, we'll
dig into a little bit of this Liz Chaining nonsense.
There's a dome. We're gonna have to laugh at dome.
(00:51):
She gave a speech. In fact, that's definitely where I'm
going when I'm done with history. But right back to
our story. In case you're just now joining, Yes, I'm
not going to recap everything for you. The Philippine American
War is kicked off. We kicked the Spanish out of
the Philippines. The Filipinos understandably thought that meant we were
going to hand the place back to them. We decided, hey,
(01:14):
we like it here, and so we bought it off
of the Spanish as part of the Treaty of Paris.
Now we're fighting. Shots rang out, Americans died, Filipinos have died,
and as I said, finishing up last hour head to
head confrontation against Americans is generally a bad idea. We
(01:35):
not only have the wealth as a nation to equip
our people better than others. We simply love firearms. I
joined the Marines at nineteen. I'd been shooting guns for
a decade. And yes, while there were guys who joined
who didn't have any familiarity with firearms. And they'll teach you.
Remember if that's you and you're thinking about it, they'll
teach you. They'll teach you everything you need to know.
(01:57):
Most for the most part, no one there had held them,
use them, hunted, done things with them. Americans are good
at fighting. We fought head to head with the Filipinos,
and we beat the living crap out of them. So
they did the only thing they could do. I'm going
to I'll tell you, I'm probably going to offend everybody
here and then I'm going to defend the Filipinos and
(02:19):
I'm going to defend the Americans. History's complicated. War is complicated.
Things are ugly not everything's black and white. Oh, evil Americans.
I'm sure that's what you've all been taught about the
Philippine American War. We were winning, we were doing well.
Back home, the winning part was chafing on people. It
(02:39):
looked like we were beating up on poor people, on
people who couldn't fight back or couldn't fight back as well.
We looked like we were now a colonial power, and
some stories were starting to get printed in the press
that were not landing well with the American in public.
(03:01):
I'm going to be very delicate with how I described
this next thing, but I do want to bring it
up because it is shockingly consistent in the stories I read.
There were all kinds of temperance units, Christian temperance groups,
i should say, and what they wanted was a righteous society,
(03:22):
a more Christian society. And there were all kinds of
women's groups and things like that that were pushing that stuff.
And the stories started to filter back home that American
troops were acquiring some diseases, not tuberculosis here, not malaria, diseases.
(03:44):
The kind of these diseases you acquire when you were
not conducting yourself the way you should conduct yourself with
the opposite sexes. That sound good. There are children listening.
I don't want to put it any differently than that.
That stuff did not land well back home. It sounded
like our boys were being corrupted. We were doing terrible things. Again,
(04:05):
this war was getting more and more controversial. Back to
the Philippines. The Philippines made the only decision. The Filipinos
made the only decision they could. They abandoned conventional warfare
tactics in the name of gorilla warfare tactics. We cannot
fight these people head to head. We're not going to
put a thousand of our troops up against a thousand
(04:27):
of theirs. We're just going to get slaughtered like we
have been. We have to melt into the shadows. Now,
let's discuss gerrilla warfare tactics, because these have been used many, many,
many times throughout history against us by us, by others
you name it, Indians, Vietcong, Americans have plenty of history
fighting against this stuff. Gorilla tactics mean you don't have
(04:52):
the power to fight conventionally, so you fight unconventionally. That's
how you describe it. When you're the gorilla, you describe
it as unconventioned and you do things like you rate
a supply depot, you ambush a group of three soldiers
when they're out maybe usually you do something horrific to
(05:15):
those soldiers if you get your hands on them. This
is very common in guerrilla warfare, gorilla warfare, because they're undermanned,
they don't have the same equipment. They don't fight I
hate even using this word, but you'll understand what I mean.
They don't fight fair because they can't fight fair. If
(05:36):
you are outmatched, you better not fight fair, so they don't.
And it always works out this way. The gorilla guys
will start doing really dirty things and then disappearing into
the population. That's the nature of guerrilla warfare. You slip
(05:59):
out at night, put on black pajamas, find an American soldier,
kidnap him, skin him alive, hang him from a tree,
and then you go back put on your farmer peasant uniform,
and you're just out there in the fields the next day.
Gorilla guys generally commit terrible atrocities, and almost always those
(06:19):
atrocities lead to the bigger standing army getting angry about
the lack of fairness and committing atrocities right back at
them and the Philippine American War was no exception. If
you do any reading on it at all, all you
will read about are the atrocities we committed against them,
(06:40):
because virtually all of our history in this country is
written to make America look bad. However, there were plenty
of atrocities to go around. We committed them, and they
committed them. When they would get their hands on American troops.
I've told you before, they'd kill our guys with ants.
They would bury our guys alive. If they chose to
kill keep you alive and keep you captive, they would
(07:02):
oftentimes start chopping off your body parts. They would chop
off your ears, chop off your nose. Imagine having your
buddy kidnapped, taken prisoner. Maybe you miraculously get him back
and he shows up in your camp and his nose
in his ears have been chopped off, and that's how
he has to sail back home to mom. Imagine finding
(07:23):
your buddy having been buried alive. It creates anger and hatred.
Guerrilla warfares always end up in deep, deep, deep hatred.
We began waterboarding them. It was called water torture. The
water method. It was called a bunch of different things.
It was essentially just waterboarding. We were waterboarding them. We
were torching, too, beating them. There were allegations of rape,
(07:48):
of all kinds of things. It was a horrible, horrible affair.
Now that leads us to a place I mentioned it
in the very beginning, call the ball Giga balllengiga. If
you're yelling at me about how I pronounced that, there's
nothing in the world more difficult to pronounce than Filipino names.
(08:09):
It's very difficult. Just it's a hard language. Balllengiga, although
I'm pretty sure that's Spanish and ayabla. Ballanngigo was a
place where our troops were quartered, some of them, some
of them not Maddy's forty. Some our troops got up
one morning and there were all kinds of Filipino workers
who were in the camp. Sometimes they were forced to work.
(08:30):
I want to make sure everyone's clear about that. So
we were forcing them to work. We'd go into a
village after one of our guys got killed, kill a
bunch of people, grab a bunch of others. You're going
to work the fields. Now. Either way, there's a bunch
of Filipinos in this camp of ours. Our guys are sleepy,
it's the morning time. They're walking over to get breakfast,
and bong bong the church bells go off and an
(08:53):
ambush was set up ahead of time, obviously, and a
bunch of Filipinos came pouring out of the church with
maget days and knives, all kinds of bladed weapons, and
our guys are slaughtered. They lost guys too. We lost
guys too, but we lost the most. Our guys were unarmed,
(09:16):
fighting with pots and pans. There are stories of our
guys fighting with rocks. It was. It had to be
something straight out of a horror movie. Imagine walking to
breakfast and soon you're in a knife fight and you've
got a pot in your hand. That's how it was.
And you can imagine how well that landed. The Marine
(09:39):
General on the ground issued in order kill every male
over the age of ten, and we began slaughtering the Filipinos. Well,
a war that was unpopular back home before gets a
whole lot less less popular when you wake up and
(10:02):
find of a bunch of American troops hacked to death
and a bunch of Filipinos getting murdered in response to it.
And I will wrap this up in just a moment,
and then we'll go back and talk about some politics.
How's that sound. Before we do that, let's talk about
Pure Talk, the greatest cell phone company out there, because
(10:23):
it's the patriotic one. It's so hard to find any
genuine patriotism in the corporate world today. All these corporate
types they come up through this anti American education system
and they get there and they take your money and
they use it against your culture, your values. Can't turn
on the TV anymore without a rainbow flag hitting you
in the face. Pure Talk doesn't do any of that garbage.
(10:46):
Pure Talk is a purely patriotic company. They love this place,
They love our veterans. They care for our veterans. When
Pure Talk gives back, they're getting veterans back on their
feet back into the world. It's gonna be the exact
same cell phone coverage you have now. My bill got
cut in half. You're paying way too much. You can
(11:06):
keep your phone, keep your number, or get brand new
stuffs Christmas time. They make everything easy, So get ahold
of them. You'll find the person on the other end
of the line speaks English and they're pleasant. Pound two
five zero and say Jesse Kelly. That's all. Pick up
your cell phone dial pound two five zero, say Jesse Kelly.
(11:30):
We'll be back fighting for your freedom every day the
Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse Kelly Show. Sidetracking
the entire show tonight to talk about history, which I
will try to wrap up this segment. We'll get back
and finish up some politics, maybe some emails talking about
(11:50):
the Philippine American War. If you would like to email
the show, love hate, death threats, You're welcome to do so.
Jesse at jesse kellyshow dot com. You can leave us
a voicemail eight seven seven three seven seven four three
seven three. Now we have the Baal Giga massacre. Remember
I told you the church bells were what signaled the
(12:13):
Filipinos to attack. There were three of those bells. We
seize those bells afterwards, then we began killing people, a
lot of them. Now back home, the war is supremely unpopular.
It's crazy how many people haven't really heard about this
war at all. You realize roughly the same number of
(12:34):
American troops died in the Philippine American War who died
in Iraq four thousand. That's how big this thing was.
Think about Iraq. That's how big this thing was. And
we're talking about a period of about four years. It
was ugly. The generals who were over there killing people
were called back home. They were court martialed. Again. This
was not well received. Emilio Aginaldo, the rebel leader, he
(13:01):
eventually gets into our possession. America decided it doesn't quite
have the stomach for conquest. We don't want our guys
to die. We don't want to be seen as killing others.
It's just not who we are. And we send over
a man, a large man by the name of William
(13:24):
Howard Taft. William Howard Taft did not want to go
over there and conquer a bunch of Filipinos. He didn't
want to slaughter a bunch of people, and he began
the process. We called it at the time, benevolent assimilation.
We were building schools, we were trying something new around
(13:47):
this time. Remember McKinley got killed. McKinley was that an
American president got assassinated by an anarchist. They tend to
do that kind of a thing. After we changed tactics
and after we won the combat portion of it, and
remember this was a long, long, long, drawn out, nasty
guerrilla war. Different islands. I already told you there's several
(14:10):
different islands. It was an ugly affair. Teddy Roosevelt takes
over as president. We've tried something new, benevolent assimilation. The
Filipinos decide in the end, that's a happy, happy ending.
See this's the ugly, ugly story of but it has
a happy ending. The Filipinos decide, we are done. We
give up, We're turning ourselves in. We're done with this rebellion.
(14:34):
But you should feel proud of yourself. Maybe you're not
thrilled about this portion of American history, you could at
least be happy about this portion of it. When they
did that, we decided we were going to do things
radically different, and up until the start of World War two, well,
I'll put it this way, by the start of World
War two, when the Japanese invaded and ran us out
(14:54):
of the Philippines and those poor people were put under
it again, we got along famously by then. That's how
much we changed the trajectory of our relationship in the Philippines.
We did it a completely different way, and obviously it
wasn't perfect, but allowing them govern themselves. Let's make this
(15:17):
a place of American Filipino partnership, American Filipino business. In fact,
so many of MacArthur's troops on that Baton Peninsula before
the Baton Death March. There were so many Filipino troops there.
Why because we were training up in equipping the Filipino Army.
In a matter of forty years, give or take, we
(15:38):
had gone from slaughtering each other in the jungles to
working closely hand in hand us building up their economy,
them partnering with us. We had major gm we had
the movie theaters, very modern. Manila was supposed to be
gorgeous by the time World War II rull around, It
(16:00):
wasn't that gorgeous by the time the Japanese were done
with it, and we kind of helped a lot out
with that. We had to root them out of there,
so we kind of had to burn most of the
place down. But before World War Two, we in the
Filipinos got along incredibly well. It ended up being a
wonderful relationship. I won't say it last to this day,
but it kind of does. Relations are always tense, but
(16:23):
kind of to this day. And remember those church bells.
I told you it's kind of a cool little tidbit here.
After those church bells rang out and they massacred us
with macheties and things like that, we took them. They
remained in our possession, possession of the US Army, I believe,
I remember right, had a couple of them spread out
all over the place, and they began to chafe against that,
(16:46):
wanting them back. You know, let's complete the reconciliation. Run
on back. Those are our church bells. Just a few
years ago, in two thousand and eighteen, the United States
of America finally returned the balance giga bells to the Philippines.
The Filipinos have their bells back, and we have completed
(17:07):
the circle. And that is a very very brief, believe
it or not, even though it took me an hour
and a half. That is a very very brief version
of the American Philippine War, the Philippine American War, the
Philippine Insurrection. It's called a bunch of different things. You're
gonna have to do your own reading on it if
(17:28):
you would like to know more. There's a bunch more
to it. Again. It's guerrilla warfare. It's ugly. It's atrocities.
It's one of the ones that I enjoyed the least.
I've enjoyed learning about it the least. Now I've been
reading and learning about it for a while. But it's
just an ugly, ugly period of time and there aren't
a lot of people who come out of it looking great.
(17:49):
And one of the reasons I despise it so much
is it's virtually impossible to find any source on it
that doesn't just describe as complete unhinged barbarians the whole time.
And it's probably not the best period of time for America,
if I'm being totally frank. Yeah, Chris, I winced a
little bit too, and I was going through it. We're
(18:12):
not the demons they make us out to be, but
not our finest hour either way. That's the Philippine America War.
Let's go back to politics and make fun of Kamala
Harris for a little while. That's always a good time.
Before we do that, let's save a life that was
a lot of ugliness and death with the ears getting
chopped off and stuff. Well, that happens to babies every
single day in this country. Every single day. Babies are
(18:33):
massacred in the United States of America, lots of them.
Do you know that you and Preborn saved two hundred
of them a day? Two hundred babies a day are
saved with Preborn's clinics. How do they do this Well,
they find these young women who were about to kill
their baby, and they give them the gift of ultrasound
(18:56):
for free, no charge to the woman, and they support
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of care. Now that is saving lives, changing lives. People
walk the planet today because of what you and Preborn
(19:17):
have done. And it's tax deductible. It's the end of
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Preborn dot com slash Jesse sponsored by Preborn We'll be back.
(19:37):
Is he smarter than everyone who knows? Does he think so? Yeah?
The Jesse Kelly Show, It is The Jesse Kelly Show
on a Wednesday. I can't imagine anyone's stuck around for
that entire thing, but I enjoyed myself immensely. Remember if
(19:58):
you missed any part of the show, the pul as
to the first hour, or the history of the rest
of it, go download the whole thing. iHeart Spotify iTunes.
Jewish producer Chris told me he's gonna separate out that
history part into a separate thing at some point. Don't
It's not gonna be done tonight. I'm not putting pressure
on you, Chris. Okay, it's fine. Sorry, you might have
to work more than three hours a day anyway, at
(20:20):
some point in time that will be done for you.
Absolute history freaks. Now, Kamala Harris, she's back. She's starting
to stick her head up again. You're starting to hear
quotes about she wants to run again. She's not going away.
We're starting to hear things floated out there, and that's
(20:42):
exactly what they do. They get their people in the
media and they float these little trial balloons. Maybe I'll
be governor of California, maybe I'll run for president again.
And so we are so blessed, so blessed, because now
you know what that means, means we get more dome
sound bites. Maybe you thought, just because Trump crushed her
(21:06):
like a grape in the election, that we were never
gonna hear from her again. Does she seem like somebody
capable of closing her mouth? No, she's not. So she's
giving speeches. And you know, there's something about growing as
a human being. I want you to listen to this.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
While our ideals are under assault, and now this fight
to keep the light of America's promise and to ensure
it burns bright. Well, this fight now, it continues with you.
(21:47):
You are its heirs, we are its airs.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Just hang on that for a moment. I'm gonna play
one more here.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And I ask you to remember the context in which
you exist. Yeah, I did that.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Have you ever complained about rich kids, rich kids, rich
kids who grow up rich? A figures rich kid? Why
is that a stereotype? Rich kids? Ah, he's useless, he's
an idiot, he's a rich kid. Or dumb blondes. Yep h,
that's another dumb blonde. Some some hot blonde chick. What
(22:37):
a dumb blonde? You ever done that? Well? Why do
those stereotypes exist? Because there's some truth to them. Most
stereotypes have some truth in them. That's why they make
us uncomfortable. But that's why they got started, right. They
don't come out of thin air. They come from somewhere.
Why is a dumb blonde or a rich kid. Why
(22:58):
are they thought of as dumb or less capable or
because they can be It's not that women who are
hot are dumb. It's that they get to a point
in their life and there is no privilege in the
world that supersedes hot chick privilege. If you were an
attractive woman, doors simply opened for you because, well, for
(23:21):
obvious reasons, everyone wants to be around you. If you
are a rich kid, daddy gave you a Lamborghini for
your sixteenth birthday. You grew up with servants and mansions
and things like that. You had everything handed to you.
You just kind of stop advancing, and you end up
halting wherever you were in life when you started getting
(23:44):
handed things. That hot dumb blonde she was not always
that way. As soon as she got old enough to
not have to actually do anything to get invited to
that wonderful boat party, well she stopped developing any kind
of a personality. He stopped reading books. The rich kid
he didn't have to develop a work ethic. You know
(24:06):
why Kamala Harris sounds like this.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Well, our ideals are under assault, and now this fight
to keep the light of America's promise I got.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
You know why she sounds like a sixteen year old
girl trying to sound profound, because that's what she is.
Because she came up in the California political system where
a you must be a Democrat to even walk in
the door and hope to achieve major statewide success, you
(24:46):
have to be a Democrat. Well she checked that box.
Remember her father as a communist and a professor. But
I repeat myself. So she came up in that California
system where you have to be a Democrat. Box checked.
But see that's just to get in the door. After that,
you have to go through some serious, some rigor. You're
(25:08):
gonna have to work hard. You're gonna have to chup
and hack your way up through the Democrat system unless
unless you're black and a woman. You see, Kamala Harris
came up in a Democrat state where being a Democrat
(25:28):
black woman meant that she didn't ever have to become
anything else. That was always enough. So there was never
any fascination with the world or philosophy or how the
world works. There was never this requirement to bust your
butt at this job and earn your way to this job.
(25:49):
Because she never had to earn anything. She had to
show up and say, I'm a democrat, I'm a woman,
and I'm black, and the media will not interrogate you.
They're not gonna Harry Partner your life. You can't do
that to a Saint Lee black woman. It's similar to
you know what. Lebron James is actually a good example
of this, that basketball player Lebron James. You know how
(26:10):
he's such a moron and always sounds like such a moron,
and he gets made fun of all the time because
he has always pictured reading these books only it's always
open to the first page. It's very clear he's never
read anything and always just an idiot. But why is
he an idiot? Because he's six ' eight and two
hundred and seventy pounds and he runs like a gazelle
and he's so great at basketball. He's never had to
(26:30):
get to page two in the book. You never had
to get to page two. So he's a moron. It
will always be a moron. He's I don't know how
old he is. I guess he's forty. I'm guess I'm
probably close to forty. He's forty going on fifteen. Kamala
Harris is sixty years old, about to be seventeen, And
the next year after that she'll be about to be seventeen.
(26:53):
And the next year after that, she'll be about to
be seventeen, and the year after that, and the year
after that, and the year after that and the year
after that. That's she talks like that.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
And I ask you to remember the context in which
you exist.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
What did that even mean? What an idiot? But then
we could have had her as president. Oh, I should
keep you updated on something. You know how I told you.
Bob gave me the ultimatum about the rats. Got to
get the rats out forty eight hours. I'm calling past control.
(27:28):
Oh I got a rat. Not only did I get
a rat, the rat noises at night have stopped now, granted,
Obs seems to be chafing. Bob sent me a text
last night. She said, this is a direct quote. I'm
reading this off my phone quote. I haven't heard the
rats yet tonight. This is after I already killed one
with one of my traps. I texted her right back,
(27:51):
they're too afraid of me now, and she texted back
she rolled her eyes and said, just forget. I said anything,
And I texted her right back and I said, I
won't forget, and neither will they. The rats are on
the run now. They're not defeated yet. I heard some scratching.
I'll be honest, I heard some scratching. They're still up there.
But it's not just that I have a trap up.
(28:14):
You didn't think Craven the Hunter was going to settle
for one trap or one method I have. As I mentioned,
I have new traps. They're absolutely horrifying. I have them
set up everywhere. In fact, to be honest with you,
(28:35):
I'm a little bit worried that I'm going to step
on one or grab one because I have so many
around the house and these traps. I'm pretty sure it
can break a finger. But that's a small price to
pay when you're a hunter. When you're a hunter trapper
as I am, you can't fret about a broken finger
or a mangled toe. The rats are on the run.
(28:57):
Craven has done it. I want to thank you for
the faith you put in me. I never doubted me.
I know you never doubted me. I feel like there
was some doubt from ob but obviously that is gone now.
The rats not defeated yet, but they're routing now and
now I'll run them down like grass and make an
(29:18):
example of them. What Chris anyway, I know the home
home is still going to be worth a lot because
it's a home. Homes retain their value. Real estate retains
its value. That's why you should get a hold of
Done for You real estate. They won't get you a
house with rats. They vet their house that they find
the best properties in the best cities, best markets for you.
(29:42):
They handle the financing, they handle the closing process, they
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Done for You real estate is so normal people can
begin in investing in real estate. Go find out what
(30:02):
they can do for you. They have changed lives. Go
to Done for You Jesse dot Com. Done for You,
Jesse dot Com. We'll be back. You're listening to the oracle.
You love this one. It's a scream baby. The Jesse
Kelly Show. It is the Jesse Kelly Show. Final segment
(30:25):
of the Jesse Kelly Show on a Wednesday. I'll be
back tomorrow. You could email the show Jesse at Jesse
kellyshow dot com. You can leave us a voicemail eight
seven seven three seven seven four three seven three. Did
you hear may orcus Well? This is comforting.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
China has in fact a hacked into our telecommunications providers,
some of them, and the extent of it is quite serious.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
And I should say that in response to that, we
have taken action. We in the federal government.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Has wait wait till you hear the action.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
I have stood up a unified coordination group, a multi
agency response to this hack. Just today, our Cybersecurity and
Infrastructure Security Agency published Mobile communications best practices that everyone
should read, especially people in positions of responsibility in the
(31:22):
United States government.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
It's a very we published in response to them hacking
our telecommunications. We sent out a memo with best practices.
We heard so much trouble we are in. We are
in a lot of very serious trouble. Jesse. I'm a
deputy sheriff. I enjoyed listening to your podcast while I'm
(31:45):
at work. Being the wordsmith and a world famous author
like yourself, Why can't you say the word across? You
say it across with a T. I would have thought
your radio coach would have corrected that by now. I
brought the receipts, and actually he listed every single day
in the exact moment in the show when I said that,
he said, if you aren't sure what across is, ask Chris,
(32:07):
he knows one. That's hilarious. Two. Look, I'm uneducated and stupid.
I don't say a bunch of words, right, I don't
even know a bunch of words. I got a zero
point zero grade point average my first semester of college.
(32:27):
I shouldn't even be here. I have no room being
here whatsoever. So if you're expecting some sort of lofty,
heady radio with gigantic words, I just discovered litigious a
while ago, and I've been using that one every single
day as often as humanly possible. And you know, speaking
of sounding smart, that's all you really need is one
(32:50):
or two words. Kids, Remember this, You don't actually have
to be smart and well read. Learn one or two
big words and use those all the time, and people
will think you're well read. That's one hack. Here's another hack.
I do this all the time, and considering I keep
running into you when I'm in the airport, maybe you'll
(33:11):
notice this from now on. Always, always, when you travel,
bring a book. Are you going to read it? Don't
roll your eyes, Chris, Are you going to read it? No, Chris,
you're not gonna read. You're gonna play on your phone
the whole time. But when people see you with a book,
(33:31):
they automatically assume you're smarter than you actually are. Always
carry a book. And then when you sit down at
your gate, or when you sit down on the plane
and you want to play someone on your phone, you
open the book, you put your phone in the book,
and it looks like you're sitting there reading. Oh what's that?
Oh what am I reading? Oh? You wouldn't like it.
(33:54):
It's probably not for you. You always drop that on somebody.
It's probably not for you. What do you really saying?
When you say that to somebody, you're telling them you're
probably not smart enough to get this. That's what you're
telling them. Oh, I forgot to tell you about this.
I teased it the other night. I don't know why
I'm telling you this now, but I'm telling you anyway,
something hurtful is happening. You know, all parents always talk
(34:16):
about today, in this day and age. I mean, how
their kids don't want to leave, they're not independent, they
don't want to grow up, they don't want driver's licenses.
It's a major it's a major concern of parents today. Well,
I don't know what we did in my house. Maybe
we've just tormented them so much. We don't have that problem.
The boys are dying to grow up, they're dying to
be adults. They're dying to go out and adventure and
(34:38):
be independent. So my oldest son, James is driving now,
guy's driver's license, is driving a car. And now he
just gets in the car with his brother and they
just take off. Hey we're gonna go get some Chick
fil a. Hey we're gonna run down here. Hey we're
gonna go do this. Okay, no big deal, he's independent.
Sounds good. Go learn how to drive. The better, the
more the better. Then something really hurtful happened. They told
(35:05):
ab and I that they were going to go to
the movies this Friday, and we said, oh, well, that's
wonderful that they are close. I mean, it's nice tab
brothers that are close. So wow, that's really wonderful. That's precious.
You guys are going to the movies together. Good for
you guys. So yesterday or day before, I forget yesterday
day before, I asked them Bob was there? It was
(35:27):
me the boys, and I said, hey, so just curious,
why weren't we invited to the movies? And I was
half joking. You know what they said? They said, oh,
Chris said, Chris was guessing that. They said, you're not cool. Oh,
it's way more hurtful than that. They said, we don't
(35:48):
want to go to the movies with you guys anymore.
And we said, excuse me why? And they said that
we laugh annoying lee during the previews at things that
aren't funny. I don't laugh at the not funny things
(36:09):
during the previews. What are they even talking about? And
I got this one from my youngest from Luke. Luke
drops us on us, and Abbas sitting there mortified, mortified.
She's so you don't want to hang out with us anymore?
And then James comes up and we're like, James, is
this true? And James doesn't have any lying, any lying
in him at all, it's just not who he is.
(36:30):
He just gets this wincing look on his face and
he's all, yeah, guys, it's kind of true. You laugh
a lot and it's really loud. So I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do. I'm one hundred percent buying us
four movie tickets soon when there's a new movie I
don't want to see, and I'm gonna laugh so loud
and so often during the pe during the previews, they
(36:52):
have no idea what they just opened up. Now, Oh
you thought it was annoying before, boys, Wait, now your
time has come. Have you supported the IFC yet? You
know that Israelis are dying and they need your help.
People need help. You don't think it, you don't think
about it. But on the ground people still need food.
(37:14):
The emergency food is a big deal. People are going hungry.
They don't have a place to stay. Probably more importantly,
they need armor, body armor. They need armored ambulances. I
can't believe that they need armored ambulances, but they do.
That's how horrible things can be. Bomb shelters, Help the
(37:35):
i f CJ. Help them. Go to support IFCJ dot
org or call eight eight eight for eight eight if
CJ and now here's a headline. But you know, you
know the thing, I'm gonna laugh so loud during the movies.
I want to go. You know what I really want
to do. Oh, this is what I'm gonna do. I
(37:58):
need to find out a subtle way to figure out
what movie they're going to this Friday. And I'm going
and if I can, oh, you know what I'm you
know how covert I can be. I'm yeah, I can't, Chris.
I'm gonna slip into the movies and I'm gonna sit
right behind them, and the whole time is just gonna.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
Be ha It's just gonna be the loudest thing at
the quietest parts of the movie, when nothing funny even happens,
it's gonna be at the funniest These are my kids
right here.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Oh, I can't wait. Oh, I'm totally doing that. I'm
doing it this Friday. Get ready, kids, because trouble's coming anyway.
That's all
This is a Jesse Kelly show. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show. Final hour of The Jesse Kelly Show on
a Wednesday. It has been an eventful Wednesday. The first
hour we tackled a bunch of cr stuff. The last hour,
in case you missed it, I've been telling the story
(00:31):
of the Philippine American War and I'm still not done yet.
In fact, there's still some spicy stuff to go. As
soon as I finished that, and maybe shortly, and it
may not be shortly, I'm not quite sure. Yet, we'll
dig into a little bit of this Liz Chaining nonsense.
There's a dome. We're gonna have to laugh at dome.
(00:51):
She gave a speech. In fact, that's definitely where I'm
going when I'm done with history. But right back to
our story. In case you're just now joining, Yes, I'm
not going to recap everything for you. The Philippine American
War is kicked off. We kicked the Spanish out of
the Philippines. The Filipinos understandably thought that meant we were
going to hand the place back to them. We decided, hey,
(01:14):
we like it here, and so we bought it off
of the Spanish as part of the Treaty of Paris.
Now we're fighting. Shots rang out, Americans died, Filipinos have died,
and as I said, finishing up last hour head to
head confrontation against Americans is generally a bad idea. We
(01:35):
not only have the wealth as a nation to equip
our people better than others. We simply love firearms. I
joined the Marines at nineteen. I'd been shooting guns for
a decade. And yes, while there were guys who joined
who didn't have any familiarity with firearms. And they'll teach you.
Remember if that's you and you're thinking about it, they'll
teach you. They'll teach you everything you need to know.
(01:57):
Most for the most part, no one there had held them,
use them, hunted, done things with them. Americans are good
at fighting. We fought head to head with the Filipinos,
and we beat the living crap out of them. So
they did the only thing they could do. I'm going
to I'll tell you, I'm probably going to offend everybody
here and then I'm going to defend the Filipinos and
(02:19):
I'm going to defend the Americans. History's complicated. War is complicated.
Things are ugly not everything's black and white. Oh, evil Americans.
I'm sure that's what you've all been taught about the
Philippine American War. We were winning, we were doing well.
Back home, the winning part was chafing on people. It
(02:39):
looked like we were beating up on poor people, on
people who couldn't fight back or couldn't fight back as well.
We looked like we were now a colonial power, and
some stories were starting to get printed in the press
that were not landing well with the American in public.
(03:01):
I'm going to be very delicate with how I described
this next thing, but I do want to bring it
up because it is shockingly consistent in the stories I read.
There were all kinds of temperance units, Christian temperance groups,
i should say, and what they wanted was a righteous society,
(03:22):
a more Christian society. And there were all kinds of
women's groups and things like that that were pushing that stuff.
And the stories started to filter back home that American
troops were acquiring some diseases, not tuberculosis here, not malaria, diseases.
(03:44):
The kind of these diseases you acquire when you were
not conducting yourself the way you should conduct yourself with
the opposite sexes. That sound good. There are children listening.
I don't want to put it any differently than that.
That stuff did not land well back home. It sounded
like our boys were being corrupted. We were doing terrible things. Again,
(04:05):
this war was getting more and more controversial. Back to
the Philippines. The Philippines made the only decision. The Filipinos
made the only decision they could. They abandoned conventional warfare
tactics in the name of gorilla warfare tactics. We cannot
fight these people head to head. We're not going to
put a thousand of our troops up against a thousand
(04:27):
of theirs. We're just going to get slaughtered like we
have been. We have to melt into the shadows. Now,
let's discuss gerrilla warfare tactics, because these have been used many, many,
many times throughout history against us by us, by others
you name it, Indians, Vietcong, Americans have plenty of history
fighting against this stuff. Gorilla tactics mean you don't have
(04:52):
the power to fight conventionally, so you fight unconventionally. That's
how you describe it. When you're the gorilla, you describe
it as unconventioned and you do things like you rate
a supply depot, you ambush a group of three soldiers
when they're out maybe usually you do something horrific to
(05:15):
those soldiers if you get your hands on them. This
is very common in guerrilla warfare, gorilla warfare, because they're undermanned,
they don't have the same equipment. They don't fight I
hate even using this word, but you'll understand what I mean.
They don't fight fair because they can't fight fair. If
(05:36):
you are outmatched, you better not fight fair, so they don't.
And it always works out this way. The gorilla guys
will start doing really dirty things and then disappearing into
the population. That's the nature of guerrilla warfare. You slip
(05:59):
out at night, put on black pajamas, find an American soldier,
kidnap him, skin him alive, hang him from a tree,
and then you go back put on your farmer peasant uniform,
and you're just out there in the fields the next day.
Gorilla guys generally commit terrible atrocities, and almost always those
(06:19):
atrocities lead to the bigger standing army getting angry about
the lack of fairness and committing atrocities right back at
them and the Philippine American War was no exception. If
you do any reading on it at all, all you
will read about are the atrocities we committed against them,
(06:40):
because virtually all of our history in this country is
written to make America look bad. However, there were plenty
of atrocities to go around. We committed them, and they
committed them. When they would get their hands on American troops.
I've told you before, they'd kill our guys with ants.
They would bury our guys alive. If they chose to
kill keep you alive and keep you captive, they would
(07:02):
oftentimes start chopping off your body parts. They would chop
off your ears, chop off your nose. Imagine having your
buddy kidnapped, taken prisoner. Maybe you miraculously get him back
and he shows up in your camp and his nose
in his ears have been chopped off, and that's how
he has to sail back home to mom. Imagine finding
(07:23):
your buddy having been buried alive. It creates anger and hatred.
Guerrilla warfares always end up in deep, deep, deep hatred.
We began waterboarding them. It was called water torture. The
water method. It was called a bunch of different things.
It was essentially just waterboarding. We were waterboarding them. We
were torching, too, beating them. There were allegations of rape,
(07:48):
of all kinds of things. It was a horrible, horrible affair.
Now that leads us to a place I mentioned it
in the very beginning, call the ball Giga balllengiga. If
you're yelling at me about how I pronounced that, there's
nothing in the world more difficult to pronounce than Filipino names.
(08:09):
It's very difficult. Just it's a hard language. Balllengiga, although
I'm pretty sure that's Spanish and ayabla. Ballanngigo was a
place where our troops were quartered, some of them, some
of them not Maddy's forty. Some our troops got up
one morning and there were all kinds of Filipino workers
who were in the camp. Sometimes they were forced to work.
(08:30):
I want to make sure everyone's clear about that. So
we were forcing them to work. We'd go into a
village after one of our guys got killed, kill a
bunch of people, grab a bunch of others. You're going
to work the fields. Now. Either way, there's a bunch
of Filipinos in this camp of ours. Our guys are sleepy,
it's the morning time. They're walking over to get breakfast,
and bong bong the church bells go off and an
(08:53):
ambush was set up ahead of time, obviously, and a
bunch of Filipinos came pouring out of the church with
maget days and knives, all kinds of bladed weapons, and
our guys are slaughtered. They lost guys too. We lost
guys too, but we lost the most. Our guys were unarmed,
(09:16):
fighting with pots and pans. There are stories of our
guys fighting with rocks. It was. It had to be
something straight out of a horror movie. Imagine walking to
breakfast and soon you're in a knife fight and you've
got a pot in your hand. That's how it was.
And you can imagine how well that landed. The Marine
(09:39):
General on the ground issued in order kill every male
over the age of ten, and we began slaughtering the Filipinos. Well,
a war that was unpopular back home before gets a
whole lot less less popular when you wake up and
(10:02):
find of a bunch of American troops hacked to death
and a bunch of Filipinos getting murdered in response to it.
And I will wrap this up in just a moment,
and then we'll go back and talk about some politics.
How's that sound. Before we do that, let's talk about
Pure Talk, the greatest cell phone company out there, because
(10:23):
it's the patriotic one. It's so hard to find any
genuine patriotism in the corporate world today. All these corporate
types they come up through this anti American education system
and they get there and they take your money and
they use it against your culture, your values. Can't turn
on the TV anymore without a rainbow flag hitting you
in the face. Pure Talk doesn't do any of that garbage.
(10:46):
Pure Talk is a purely patriotic company. They love this place,
They love our veterans. They care for our veterans. When
Pure Talk gives back, they're getting veterans back on their
feet back into the world. It's gonna be the exact
same cell phone coverage you have now. My bill got
cut in half. You're paying way too much. You can
(11:06):
keep your phone, keep your number, or get brand new
stuffs Christmas time. They make everything easy, So get ahold
of them. You'll find the person on the other end
of the line speaks English and they're pleasant. Pound two
five zero and say Jesse Kelly. That's all. Pick up
your cell phone dial pound two five zero, say Jesse Kelly.
(11:30):
We'll be back fighting for your freedom every day the
Jesse Kelly Show. It is the Jesse Kelly Show. Sidetracking
the entire show tonight to talk about history, which I
will try to wrap up this segment. We'll get back
and finish up some politics, maybe some emails talking about
(11:50):
the Philippine American War. If you would like to email
the show, love hate, death threats, You're welcome to do so.
Jesse at jesse kellyshow dot com. You can leave us
a voicemail eight seven seven three seven seven four three
seven three. Now we have the Baal Giga massacre. Remember
I told you the church bells were what signaled the
(12:13):
Filipinos to attack. There were three of those bells. We
seize those bells afterwards, then we began killing people, a
lot of them. Now back home, the war is supremely unpopular.
It's crazy how many people haven't really heard about this
war at all. You realize roughly the same number of
(12:34):
American troops died in the Philippine American War who died
in Iraq four thousand. That's how big this thing was.
Think about Iraq. That's how big this thing was. And
we're talking about a period of about four years. It
was ugly. The generals who were over there killing people
were called back home. They were court martialed. Again. This
was not well received. Emilio Aginaldo, the rebel leader, he
(13:01):
eventually gets into our possession. America decided it doesn't quite
have the stomach for conquest. We don't want our guys
to die. We don't want to be seen as killing others.
It's just not who we are. And we send over
a man, a large man by the name of William
(13:24):
Howard Taft. William Howard Taft did not want to go
over there and conquer a bunch of Filipinos. He didn't
want to slaughter a bunch of people, and he began
the process. We called it at the time, benevolent assimilation.
We were building schools, we were trying something new around
(13:47):
this time. Remember McKinley got killed. McKinley was that an
American president got assassinated by an anarchist. They tend to
do that kind of a thing. After we changed tactics
and after we won the combat portion of it, and
remember this was a long, long, long, drawn out, nasty
guerrilla war. Different islands. I already told you there's several
(14:10):
different islands. It was an ugly affair. Teddy Roosevelt takes
over as president. We've tried something new, benevolent assimilation. The
Filipinos decide in the end, that's a happy, happy ending.
See this's the ugly, ugly story of but it has
a happy ending. The Filipinos decide, we are done. We
give up, We're turning ourselves in. We're done with this rebellion.
(14:34):
But you should feel proud of yourself. Maybe you're not
thrilled about this portion of American history, you could at
least be happy about this portion of it. When they
did that, we decided we were going to do things
radically different, and up until the start of World War two, well,
I'll put it this way, by the start of World
War two, when the Japanese invaded and ran us out
(14:54):
of the Philippines and those poor people were put under
it again, we got along famously by then. That's how
much we changed the trajectory of our relationship in the Philippines.
We did it a completely different way, and obviously it
wasn't perfect, but allowing them govern themselves. Let's make this
(15:17):
a place of American Filipino partnership, American Filipino business. In fact,
so many of MacArthur's troops on that Baton Peninsula before
the Baton Death March. There were so many Filipino troops there.
Why because we were training up in equipping the Filipino Army.
In a matter of forty years, give or take, we
(15:38):
had gone from slaughtering each other in the jungles to
working closely hand in hand us building up their economy,
them partnering with us. We had major gm we had
the movie theaters, very modern. Manila was supposed to be
gorgeous by the time World War II rull around, It
(16:00):
wasn't that gorgeous by the time the Japanese were done
with it, and we kind of helped a lot out
with that. We had to root them out of there,
so we kind of had to burn most of the
place down. But before World War Two, we in the
Filipinos got along incredibly well. It ended up being a
wonderful relationship. I won't say it last to this day,
but it kind of does. Relations are always tense, but
(16:23):
kind of to this day. And remember those church bells.
I told you it's kind of a cool little tidbit here.
After those church bells rang out and they massacred us
with macheties and things like that, we took them. They
remained in our possession, possession of the US Army, I believe,
I remember right, had a couple of them spread out
all over the place, and they began to chafe against that,
(16:46):
wanting them back. You know, let's complete the reconciliation. Run
on back. Those are our church bells. Just a few
years ago, in two thousand and eighteen, the United States
of America finally returned the balance giga bells to the Philippines.
The Filipinos have their bells back, and we have completed
(17:07):
the circle. And that is a very very brief, believe
it or not, even though it took me an hour
and a half. That is a very very brief version
of the American Philippine War, the Philippine American War, the
Philippine Insurrection. It's called a bunch of different things. You're
gonna have to do your own reading on it if
(17:28):
you would like to know more. There's a bunch more
to it. Again. It's guerrilla warfare. It's ugly. It's atrocities.
It's one of the ones that I enjoyed the least.
I've enjoyed learning about it the least. Now I've been
reading and learning about it for a while. But it's
just an ugly, ugly period of time and there aren't
a lot of people who come out of it looking great.
(17:49):
And one of the reasons I despise it so much
is it's virtually impossible to find any source on it
that doesn't just describe as complete unhinged barbarians the whole time.
And it's probably not the best period of time for America,
if I'm being totally frank. Yeah, Chris, I winced a
little bit too, and I was going through it. We're
(18:12):
not the demons they make us out to be, but
not our finest hour either way. That's the Philippine America War.
Let's go back to politics and make fun of Kamala
Harris for a little while. That's always a good time.
Before we do that, let's save a life that was
a lot of ugliness and death with the ears getting
chopped off and stuff. Well, that happens to babies every
single day in this country. Every single day. Babies are
(18:33):
massacred in the United States of America, lots of them.
Do you know that you and Preborn saved two hundred
of them a day? Two hundred babies a day are
saved with Preborn's clinics. How do they do this Well,
they find these young women who were about to kill
their baby, and they give them the gift of ultrasound
(18:56):
for free, no charge to the woman, and they support
her after. If she needs help, she needs diapers, if
she needs substance abuse, if she has to get away
from an abusive spouse. Preborn's there up to two years
of care. Now that is saving lives, changing lives. People
walk the planet today because of what you and Preborn
(19:17):
have done. And it's tax deductible. It's the end of
the year. How about saving a life and writing it
off on your taxes. Preborn dot com slash Jesse twenty
eight bucks saves a life, Give as much as you can.
Preborn dot com slash Jesse sponsored by Preborn We'll be back.
(19:37):
Is he smarter than everyone who knows? Does he think so? Yeah?
The Jesse Kelly Show, It is The Jesse Kelly Show
on a Wednesday. I can't imagine anyone's stuck around for
that entire thing, but I enjoyed myself immensely. Remember if
(19:58):
you missed any part of the show, the pul as
to the first hour, or the history of the rest
of it, go download the whole thing. iHeart Spotify iTunes.
Jewish producer Chris told me he's gonna separate out that
history part into a separate thing at some point. Don't
It's not gonna be done tonight. I'm not putting pressure
on you, Chris. Okay, it's fine. Sorry, you might have
to work more than three hours a day anyway, at
(20:20):
some point in time that will be done for you.
Absolute history freaks. Now, Kamala Harris, she's back. She's starting
to stick her head up again. You're starting to hear
quotes about she wants to run again. She's not going away.
We're starting to hear things floated out there, and that's
(20:42):
exactly what they do. They get their people in the
media and they float these little trial balloons. Maybe I'll
be governor of California, maybe I'll run for president again.
And so we are so blessed, so blessed, because now
you know what that means, means we get more dome
sound bites. Maybe you thought, just because Trump crushed her
(21:06):
like a grape in the election, that we were never
gonna hear from her again. Does she seem like somebody
capable of closing her mouth? No, she's not. So she's
giving speeches. And you know, there's something about growing as
a human being. I want you to listen to this.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
While our ideals are under assault, and now this fight
to keep the light of America's promise and to ensure
it burns bright. Well, this fight now, it continues with you.
(21:47):
You are its heirs, we are its airs.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Just hang on that for a moment. I'm gonna play
one more here.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And I ask you to remember the context in which
you exist. Yeah, I did that.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Have you ever complained about rich kids, rich kids, rich
kids who grow up rich? A figures rich kid? Why
is that a stereotype? Rich kids? Ah, he's useless, he's
an idiot, he's a rich kid. Or dumb blondes. Yep h,
that's another dumb blonde. Some some hot blonde chick. What
(22:37):
a dumb blonde? You ever done that? Well? Why do
those stereotypes exist? Because there's some truth to them. Most
stereotypes have some truth in them. That's why they make
us uncomfortable. But that's why they got started, right. They
don't come out of thin air. They come from somewhere.
Why is a dumb blonde or a rich kid. Why
(22:58):
are they thought of as dumb or less capable or
because they can be It's not that women who are
hot are dumb. It's that they get to a point
in their life and there is no privilege in the
world that supersedes hot chick privilege. If you were an
attractive woman, doors simply opened for you because, well, for
(23:21):
obvious reasons, everyone wants to be around you. If you
are a rich kid, daddy gave you a Lamborghini for
your sixteenth birthday. You grew up with servants and mansions
and things like that. You had everything handed to you.
You just kind of stop advancing, and you end up
halting wherever you were in life when you started getting
(23:44):
handed things. That hot dumb blonde she was not always
that way. As soon as she got old enough to
not have to actually do anything to get invited to
that wonderful boat party, well she stopped developing any kind
of a personality. He stopped reading books. The rich kid
he didn't have to develop a work ethic. You know
(24:06):
why Kamala Harris sounds like this.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Well, our ideals are under assault, and now this fight
to keep the light of America's promise I got.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
You know why she sounds like a sixteen year old
girl trying to sound profound, because that's what she is.
Because she came up in the California political system where
a you must be a Democrat to even walk in
the door and hope to achieve major statewide success, you
(24:46):
have to be a Democrat. Well she checked that box.
Remember her father as a communist and a professor. But
I repeat myself. So she came up in that California
system where you have to be a Democrat. Box checked.
But see that's just to get in the door. After that,
you have to go through some serious, some rigor. You're
(25:08):
gonna have to work hard. You're gonna have to chup
and hack your way up through the Democrat system unless
unless you're black and a woman. You see, Kamala Harris
came up in a Democrat state where being a Democrat
(25:28):
black woman meant that she didn't ever have to become
anything else. That was always enough. So there was never
any fascination with the world or philosophy or how the
world works. There was never this requirement to bust your
butt at this job and earn your way to this job.
(25:49):
Because she never had to earn anything. She had to
show up and say, I'm a democrat, I'm a woman,
and I'm black, and the media will not interrogate you.
They're not gonna Harry Partner your life. You can't do
that to a Saint Lee black woman. It's similar to
you know what. Lebron James is actually a good example
of this, that basketball player Lebron James. You know how
(26:10):
he's such a moron and always sounds like such a moron,
and he gets made fun of all the time because
he has always pictured reading these books only it's always
open to the first page. It's very clear he's never
read anything and always just an idiot. But why is
he an idiot? Because he's six ' eight and two
hundred and seventy pounds and he runs like a gazelle
and he's so great at basketball. He's never had to
(26:30):
get to page two in the book. You never had
to get to page two. So he's a moron. It
will always be a moron. He's I don't know how
old he is. I guess he's forty. I'm guess I'm
probably close to forty. He's forty going on fifteen. Kamala
Harris is sixty years old, about to be seventeen, And
the next year after that she'll be about to be seventeen.
(26:53):
And the next year after that, she'll be about to
be seventeen, and the year after that, and the year
after that, and the year after that and the year
after that. That's she talks like that.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
And I ask you to remember the context in which
you exist.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
What did that even mean? What an idiot? But then
we could have had her as president. Oh, I should
keep you updated on something. You know how I told you.
Bob gave me the ultimatum about the rats. Got to
get the rats out forty eight hours. I'm calling past control.
(27:28):
Oh I got a rat. Not only did I get
a rat, the rat noises at night have stopped now, granted,
Obs seems to be chafing. Bob sent me a text
last night. She said, this is a direct quote. I'm
reading this off my phone quote. I haven't heard the
rats yet tonight. This is after I already killed one
with one of my traps. I texted her right back,
(27:51):
they're too afraid of me now, and she texted back
she rolled her eyes and said, just forget. I said anything,
And I texted her right back and I said, I
won't forget, and neither will they. The rats are on
the run now. They're not defeated yet. I heard some scratching.
I'll be honest, I heard some scratching. They're still up there.
But it's not just that I have a trap up.
(28:14):
You didn't think Craven the Hunter was going to settle
for one trap or one method I have. As I mentioned,
I have new traps. They're absolutely horrifying. I have them
set up everywhere. In fact, to be honest with you,
(28:35):
I'm a little bit worried that I'm going to step
on one or grab one because I have so many
around the house and these traps. I'm pretty sure it
can break a finger. But that's a small price to
pay when you're a hunter. When you're a hunter trapper
as I am, you can't fret about a broken finger
or a mangled toe. The rats are on the run.
(28:57):
Craven has done it. I want to thank you for
the faith you put in me. I never doubted me.
I know you never doubted me. I feel like there
was some doubt from ob but obviously that is gone now.
The rats not defeated yet, but they're routing now and
now I'll run them down like grass and make an
(29:18):
example of them. What Chris anyway, I know the home
home is still going to be worth a lot because
it's a home. Homes retain their value. Real estate retains
its value. That's why you should get a hold of
Done for You real estate. They won't get you a
house with rats. They vet their house that they find
the best properties in the best cities, best markets for you.
(29:42):
They handle the financing, they handle the closing process, they
handle the rental process. I'm talking about generating tax free income,
consistent tax free income. We're talking about stuff you can
retire on one day and pass along to your kids.
Done for You real estate is so normal people can
begin in investing in real estate. Go find out what
(30:02):
they can do for you. They have changed lives. Go
to Done for You Jesse dot Com. Done for You,
Jesse dot Com. We'll be back. You're listening to the oracle.
You love this one. It's a scream baby. The Jesse
Kelly Show. It is the Jesse Kelly Show. Final segment
(30:25):
of the Jesse Kelly Show on a Wednesday. I'll be
back tomorrow. You could email the show Jesse at Jesse
kellyshow dot com. You can leave us a voicemail eight
seven seven three seven seven four three seven three. Did
you hear may orcus Well? This is comforting.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
China has in fact a hacked into our telecommunications providers,
some of them, and the extent of it is quite serious.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
And I should say that in response to that, we
have taken action. We in the federal government.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Has wait wait till you hear the action.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
I have stood up a unified coordination group, a multi
agency response to this hack. Just today, our Cybersecurity and
Infrastructure Security Agency published Mobile communications best practices that everyone
should read, especially people in positions of responsibility in the
(31:22):
United States government.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
It's a very we published in response to them hacking
our telecommunications. We sent out a memo with best practices.
We heard so much trouble we are in. We are
in a lot of very serious trouble. Jesse. I'm a
deputy sheriff. I enjoyed listening to your podcast while I'm
(31:45):
at work. Being the wordsmith and a world famous author
like yourself, Why can't you say the word across? You
say it across with a T. I would have thought
your radio coach would have corrected that by now. I
brought the receipts, and actually he listed every single day
in the exact moment in the show when I said that,
he said, if you aren't sure what across is, ask Chris,
(32:07):
he knows one. That's hilarious. Two. Look, I'm uneducated and stupid.
I don't say a bunch of words, right, I don't
even know a bunch of words. I got a zero
point zero grade point average my first semester of college.
(32:27):
I shouldn't even be here. I have no room being
here whatsoever. So if you're expecting some sort of lofty,
heady radio with gigantic words, I just discovered litigious a
while ago, and I've been using that one every single
day as often as humanly possible. And you know, speaking
of sounding smart, that's all you really need is one
(32:50):
or two words. Kids, Remember this, You don't actually have
to be smart and well read. Learn one or two
big words and use those all the time, and people
will think you're well read. That's one hack. Here's another hack.
I do this all the time, and considering I keep
running into you when I'm in the airport, maybe you'll
(33:11):
notice this from now on. Always, always, when you travel,
bring a book. Are you going to read it? Don't
roll your eyes, Chris, Are you going to read it? No, Chris,
you're not gonna read. You're gonna play on your phone
the whole time. But when people see you with a book,
(33:31):
they automatically assume you're smarter than you actually are. Always
carry a book. And then when you sit down at
your gate, or when you sit down on the plane
and you want to play someone on your phone, you
open the book, you put your phone in the book,
and it looks like you're sitting there reading. Oh what's that?
Oh what am I reading? Oh? You wouldn't like it.
(33:54):
It's probably not for you. You always drop that on somebody.
It's probably not for you. What do you really saying?
When you say that to somebody, you're telling them you're
probably not smart enough to get this. That's what you're
telling them. Oh, I forgot to tell you about this.
I teased it the other night. I don't know why
I'm telling you this now, but I'm telling you anyway,
something hurtful is happening. You know, all parents always talk
(34:16):
about today, in this day and age. I mean, how
their kids don't want to leave, they're not independent, they
don't want to grow up, they don't want driver's licenses.
It's a major it's a major concern of parents today. Well,
I don't know what we did in my house. Maybe
we've just tormented them so much. We don't have that problem.
The boys are dying to grow up, they're dying to
be adults. They're dying to go out and adventure and
(34:38):
be independent. So my oldest son, James is driving now,
guy's driver's license, is driving a car. And now he
just gets in the car with his brother and they
just take off. Hey we're gonna go get some Chick
fil a. Hey we're gonna run down here. Hey we're
gonna go do this. Okay, no big deal, he's independent.
Sounds good. Go learn how to drive. The better, the
more the better. Then something really hurtful happened. They told
(35:05):
ab and I that they were going to go to
the movies this Friday, and we said, oh, well, that's
wonderful that they are close. I mean, it's nice tab
brothers that are close. So wow, that's really wonderful. That's precious.
You guys are going to the movies together. Good for
you guys. So yesterday or day before, I forget yesterday
day before, I asked them Bob was there? It was
(35:27):
me the boys, and I said, hey, so just curious,
why weren't we invited to the movies? And I was
half joking. You know what they said? They said, oh,
Chris said, Chris was guessing that. They said, you're not cool. Oh,
it's way more hurtful than that. They said, we don't
(35:48):
want to go to the movies with you guys anymore.
And we said, excuse me why? And they said that
we laugh annoying lee during the previews at things that
aren't funny. I don't laugh at the not funny things
(36:09):
during the previews. What are they even talking about? And
I got this one from my youngest from Luke. Luke
drops us on us, and Abbas sitting there mortified, mortified.
She's so you don't want to hang out with us anymore?
And then James comes up and we're like, James, is
this true? And James doesn't have any lying, any lying
in him at all, it's just not who he is.
(36:30):
He just gets this wincing look on his face and
he's all, yeah, guys, it's kind of true. You laugh
a lot and it's really loud. So I'll tell you
what I'm gonna do. I'm one hundred percent buying us
four movie tickets soon when there's a new movie I
don't want to see, and I'm gonna laugh so loud
and so often during the pe during the previews, they
(36:52):
have no idea what they just opened up. Now, Oh
you thought it was annoying before, boys, Wait, now your
time has come. Have you supported the IFC yet? You
know that Israelis are dying and they need your help.
People need help. You don't think it, you don't think
about it. But on the ground people still need food.
(37:14):
The emergency food is a big deal. People are going hungry.
They don't have a place to stay. Probably more importantly,
they need armor, body armor. They need armored ambulances. I
can't believe that they need armored ambulances, but they do.
That's how horrible things can be. Bomb shelters, Help the
(37:35):
i f CJ. Help them. Go to support IFCJ dot
org or call eight eight eight for eight eight if
CJ and now here's a headline. But you know, you
know the thing, I'm gonna laugh so loud during the movies.
I want to go. You know what I really want
to do. Oh, this is what I'm gonna do. I
(37:58):
need to find out a subtle way to figure out
what movie they're going to this Friday. And I'm going
and if I can, oh, you know what I'm you
know how covert I can be. I'm yeah, I can't, Chris.
I'm gonna slip into the movies and I'm gonna sit
right behind them, and the whole time is just gonna.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
Be ha It's just gonna be the loudest thing at
the quietest parts of the movie, when nothing funny even happens,
it's gonna be at the funniest These are my kids
right here.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Oh, I can't wait. Oh, I'm totally doing that. I'm
doing it this Friday. Get ready, kids, because trouble's coming anyway.
That's all
Host
Jesse Kelly
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