DOG DAYS FOR THE HEATHENS

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
The following program contains views and opinionsthat do not reflect those of this station
or its advertisers. The Roldan Show, No hear Me. This is the
Outlaw d Show on KPRC. Unitethe Dean sank about in the hurricane,
I cried the girls in the cornrain. I classed a race card ver

(00:26):
side. I cheated, I've stoleand I live. I've been baptized before
God. I spoke the joint infront of my mind. He's a very
naughty boy. I bought cars,promis about a home. I saw Elvis
in the asktone, I thought myheart. I battle with the booze.

(00:47):
I bought my picture on the coverof the public News. This is the

(01:08):
Outlaw Deed Show on KTRC ninety asit bulled. You are arms Agen Town.
You asked for the lace fi whenyour silc hoping your Channis come.

(01:30):
That's like a free sours dot balleys, drinking walls, going down the alley
on your hands and knee. I'msorry you're not prevented. Forests fantasy,
the diamond dogs, the Holts inthe hot badges, but the ground may
Well Magnens would get a build.Baby Gone to me. Rap called ma.

(02:06):
You can't you get in the phoneyour They called the dimond dolls your
dog, they called down with dimonddolls. My hell jacket is a real

(02:27):
cold cat and he lives a tallheavy chase yellow dadas broom suside down in
more STIs may need this little bushwith his bust time broach. This is
says feature she w speaking with evermissing something mother dist ripped up with fiyes

(02:54):
and diamond. Don't you seelight home. I keep a friend ring the call
o. They come to me.This is the real bar, the bar

(03:14):
the bar m do they call thedin doll under They called the dime doll

(03:36):
doll call doll. Well in theyear all the staling of the season.

(04:10):
Off the bench, I say onthe brow, bow sorry to the ditch.
Just in my future song knowed litlekeeps try and wake up to my
moo. I keep a friend,serene they come open, come onto me,
the whats is gonna come out.You got to never, young girl.

(04:45):
They call them the doll and dogs. You ca call the dome with
doll all the time a dog allthever come die call dome all FID call

(05:32):
time. Don get no The OutlawNation lives here on KPRC nine fifty nine

(06:58):
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Garage Doorservice dot Com O do Buddyout the Day of the Rock Got is
Dad Blad Hello Hello, It's wildCard Wednesday. Yeah, I just I

(08:11):
just started watching this season of It'sAlways Sunday in Philadelphia. I um,
I was studying for tests, soI didn't want to waste the hilarity and
hijinks of my favorite Philly fanatics.Do you watch that? You're just looking
at me? I love that show. It's actually really good. I um

(08:33):
my syndicated show that I'm doing onlynow in the US, Virgin Island,
Saint Croix, Saint John, It'sSaint Thomas. I feel like, um,
do you know what Randall's how theyhire special people to work? You
know what I'm saying, right like, we hire everybody like that mod pizzas
and they show people with ankle monits. We hire everybody. I feel like

(08:56):
that. I feel like d whatd good time? D? I would
to beat Charlie. So it's itMac, It's Dennis. Who who is
your favorite? No? It ispick it up, pick it up,
take it, pick it up,take it Charlie. Charlie's Charlie. So

(09:20):
it's a wild card. It's thewild card Charlie. Okay, okay,
all right, Uh today was hotDog Day? Are you the wild card?
Is that what you is that whatyou think? You feel like you're
the wild card. I mean,I'm not gonna argue with you. I
don't know. I'm just saying,is that Is that how you perceive yourself?
Because there's how you perceive yourself,how you think others perceive you,
and how you actually are perceive Imean, he's not there. I feel

(09:43):
like all of them are wild cards. Honestly, He's just the one that
is still compassionate and still caring atthe same time. He's a wild card,
but he's still like, you knowwhat I mean, He's the one
that noticed more things like he is. He's super sweet, he's caring,
he actually does a lot more.He helps Frank out living his house,
at his apartment, all the differentstuff versus the other ones that you know,

(10:05):
just like are ignorant or um youexactly path and Frank Frank is just
Frank. You know what I mean? You don't ever want to be a
Frank d d is one of myfavorite characters. You're right, she has

(10:26):
become more cynical, more hardened,more jaded, Charlie, She's always cares.
You're right, He's still a woldcard. Don't get me wrong.
We care about this. Today washappy uh National hot Dog Day, and
there is a hot Dog and SausageCouncil, and we're familiar with them because

(10:48):
it was just a couple of weeksago, during the fourth of July that
they were making bold statements about ketchUp. Literally a week after Heinz Ketchup
finally settled the debate. Should itbe refrigerated? Should it not? Restaurants
leave it out? Does it matter? What does it mean? Right after
they had solved that, it wasthe answer, refrigerator. Yeah, it

(11:09):
says it on the bottle. Keepsit. I don't know that it does
it does? Does it? Yes? Keep them and you don't have to
Oh yeah, I mean restaurants gothrough it exactly. You don't want it
back from Syria, and you're you'regonna put it back in your in your
pantry within the darkness with the bacteriagro versus putting it in the fridge where
it's not like my my bread willlast me a long time, but it

(11:33):
will ask me probably three times theamount that it will if I leave it
on the counter, if I putit because I put in the freezer.
Can it just grows slowly unless it'slike I'm talking about in the freezer,
right, can't you put stuff inthe freezer? Oh? Yeah, exactly
kills it right or just freezes it, okay to death? I mean no,
I know you can put a roadin the freezer and then take it
out and thaw it out, evenif it was like a year later and

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it's still will thought. No,I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding war
I'm gonna do it. Yes,it's so true. A year you could
as long like you could put aroad in the freezer and take it out.
I don't. I have to seewhat the studies have been like for
the longest they've left it. Butyes, it's a what have you actually
break one of its legs? Well, it's frozen, and so that will

(12:18):
that doesn't have to be doesn't haveto stay intact while it's frozen. They
don't bleed right there? Yeah,I feel like they do. They have
like some type of gooe eat stuff. But I mean, are you bleeding
out or anything while it's frozen.I've assumed. Do you know that Snoop
Dogg recently extolled the U regaled uhtold a story about how they had a

(12:43):
cockroach that was so formidable when theymoved into this apartment that it wouldn't die.
They kept trying to kill it.I guess they were spraying stuff on
it, but I tried, wouldn'tkill it. So finally they just they
an uneasy truce. They named itand fed it before they moved out,
Like nine months later. It wasalmost as big as a dollar bill.
They called it. Gooch. Wasa cockroach? Were these like the pictures

(13:07):
of him? Was like the cockroachthat had like a chain around its neck?
No, I did that? Whenwas that was that? And I
feel like it's a It's a thingnow right, I don't know. Freddy's
cat said, the cockroaches are amassingan army. We should be wary of
them, all right, So whatwas they saying? Oh, today was

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National hot Dog Day. There isa hot dog and Sausage Counsel, and
according to them, we'll eat sevenbillion hot dogs in the three months between
Memorial Day and Labor Day. That'seight hundred and eighteen dogs a second.
So we are right in the middlethe sweet spot. Think about all that

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fake meat, the feelings that we'rejust starting the extras, it's not it's
just not prime. It's not fakemeat, Dave. You don't know.
You don't know about like even groundmeat that you buy its stores that are
packaged from grocery stores. They actuallyget this stuff in that is a pink
filler paste. Yeah, it's apaste that they add on it. That's
why you don't get the tube andthey add it. No, not even

(14:11):
the tubbes, not even the tubes. I know people that would work that
used to work in the meat sectionat store Crogers, Okay, and they
even said that it's a thing.Yeah, we get it separately and we
put it together and we put itback through the meat grinder together together,
put together the ground beat like safe. You take ground beef, right,
yeah, so you get ground shot. I'm not talking about the two yeah,

(14:31):
of course, yeah you if youmake it yourself, that's different.
But the ones that you're getting,even like the ground beef at all,
that's just in a clear packaging it. When it comes to them, the
meat, they take it and theyadd the paste with it when they grind
them. Feller, right, what'sin the pace, Because the difference is
if I don't exactly remember, Ithink it's like heartlet and not carliage.
It's like bones and nails and allthe extra stuff. Yeah it's it's joulata.

(15:00):
That's good ox Bold soup. Yeah, there's good stuff. Their bone
Marry Old, there's a special littlemarrow spoonsery scoop out the blood. Cauzie
don't have leukemia sort of resistance toyou know what? You know, I
think would appreciate hot dog Day,probably Uncle Otis, because I'm not feeling

(15:22):
your vibe on the encased pink liquidknot foreign materials. Now, time for
another Otis advisor Here at the BayCamp. We're always on hot standby for
the next big story. This justin from OTIS Special Ops on the continuing
denutification of Harry, formerly known asPrince. It all came to a head

(15:43):
in Nueva York when Harry must havebroken nail at the Big Dance and along
with his comorbidity, Megan suddenly leftin a checker Manhattan that smelled like Ratpeat's
tongues were wagging after the two reporteda two hour car chase to nowhere that
sources close to the Bone Now reportnever actually happened. Why does this sound

(16:04):
like part two of America's Victim JesseSmallberries of Chicago, Little Podna, you
really messed up when you quit theroyalty business. For this, it's okay
to say no to Pants's handlers.You need to decouple so and try to
get the band back together. Shetook your lunch money, so why not
tell Diddey Squad or whoever she is, that you'll send her a postcard or

(16:26):
something or vodka cleans. That workspretty good too, Harry. Remember how
your girl was first one back tothe palace after the funeral so she could
start going through the Queen's jewelry drawer, got brass ovaries. I'll give her
that. She probably doesn't like miniaturegolf or gas station sushi either. Maybe
she could go in the car deodorantbusiness or something with all that short squeeze

(16:47):
experience. Honey, I think you'reoverwhelming your outfit. We'll stay behind the
velvet rope and report back this Youruncle Odas keeping fear alive, and I'll
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(17:11):
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(18:00):
alright or the nine one one GarageDoorservice dot Com Studios at your wild Buddy
Outlaw Dave the Rock Goddess Taylor ofMunderland joining us for a Wednesday wild Card
show. Hello, Hello, pushingin the rock up the hill. You're
wearing professional business at you am Iright now? And it's like because it's

(18:22):
like coverage, like so much coverage, and yet you're still showing a lot
of ink. Oh my arms,your arms and your legs. Now,
yeah, I mean we've been togetherwith three years, you've you've you've exponentially
increased the amount. I mean Istarted my torso. The differences, I
honestly, it has a lot todo with my career and stuff like working

(18:45):
with radio. It's before I stuckto just my torso because it was the
idea of like what people think andstuff like that, and the way the
world was at the time. Youcouldn't got a job. You have a
two joe type of stuff. Andnow it's like you have tattoos on your
I would help you winning get themon your face. Right. People do
that now, But why I don'tknow. Especially I don't understand doing it

(19:07):
if you have other places to doit first, you know what I mean,
Like what you say if you've runout of space and okay, maybe
or you just get it removed andthen get it redone or black it out
and then do white, which islike the negative version of it, you
know, turn into a negative version. But though the people that have the
septum out of their nose that they'vegot that with that one always bothers me
like chan's her own but like it'salways tilted. It's never and it just

(19:30):
like I'm so ocdim and you gota booger. Nope, it's not.
I don't want to help. Iwant to, but I don't want to.
But yeah, so working with thiscareer, it's helped me get out
of my show and not care aboutwhat people think. And I love that
and yeah, help me grow asa person. Yeah, to get a
real job because opportunity reared its headand it was a great opportunity. So

(19:52):
now you are in the legit businessworld and charity. Charity doesn't pay the
bills, you know. Yeah,yeah, so styling and profiling benefit five
O one three C four oh onek HPMO what what what you got?
The benefit package? Five one threec's charity? Yeah? What's a four

(20:18):
oh one? Okay? Adult collections? I don't know something you get when
you work at a big point?Do you have a yeah? I have
all of it now, all thetwitters you are all growed up. How's
Connor? He's doing great? Hestarts school in two weeks. Yours,

(20:38):
yours is earlier than everybody else.It's nine. Yeah, you're like a
week before everybody else. That's cool. Oh that's wait really yeah, that's
not fair. Everybody else is startinglike the fifteen. And he's also like,
but his school area, like thezone, also has a week off
every month, what or like everyother month, So like October they have
a week off, they have aweek off in November, they have three

(21:00):
weeks off in December, they havea week off in February, and they
have a week off in March.They're on the community college calendar with the
different the first grade though, firstgrade? And did he go for him,
he's going to first yes, yes, yes, yes? And so
was he at kindergarten at the sameschool where was he doing some sort of
scholars Yeah. Out to be sevensuper adorable birthdays coming up, a whole

(21:25):
bunch of them. I mean,now that America has had her birthday,
it's time for the rest of usto celebrate. I like that your birthday
is not till after the first ofthe year. You and probably will have
some big chance coming for them time. Yeah, big big things coming up
for us. It's gonna really,it's gonna she's gonna wrap up. It's
gonna be good year. It's gonnabe good year for us. Yeah,
so a load Star rallies right onthe corner. We're already starting the search

(21:49):
for Miss lod Star Rally got thefirst couple of prelimbs lined out working on
other locations. We'll be making announcementsabout that soon. I remember that you
said, no matter what happens,I'm not in charge of hurting the finalists
next year. So that's that's thisyear. That that year is now upon

(22:11):
us. Yeah, and I've alreadytalked with keeling over at Glitztalls on my
hands. He's doing it. We'renot gonna have Taylor taking charge and doing
everything. Although I do a damngood job. I do a damn good
job. Any girls look to youand you're just so friendly, but I
can be better used in another places. Gorgeous women. You know you're gonna

(22:34):
say bitches, bitches. I don'thave tab to be HEARDing bitches around.
I heard her, she said itout loud in her forehead. No find
the ladies that we work with thatum our sports models, bikini spokespersons,
professionals, fitness models. No,this is not some competitive professionals. Yes

(22:55):
these are these are legits. Spokesmodelspersons come with an age seeing everything you
do and uh not just some someof those uh glamour photos taken by you
know that guy which one of There'sso many of them, all those professional

(23:17):
photographers. Um, yeah, younever get the photos though, Is that
is that? I don't think weever got them. We got like a
few. Oh shoot, I wasn'teven thinking to that guy. Yeah,
what happened with that exactly? Idon't know what. Yeah, man,
damn, he just kept him forhis fault, his own spank bank.
He got to hang around for theyand everything to go there and say that

(23:40):
it's king. That's what I jokeabout whenever I've done photos shoots in the
past and I never got the photosfrom the photographers and never saw him posted.
I was like, that's weird,no thank you, But like again,
they're professional photos you like only Iknow we're almost at the time and
it's all about dog days on thissegment. Um, but the dog days

(24:02):
of summer, it's the new dogdays are over. Whatever the new TikTok
thing where they're doing the thing andthat you know what I'm talking about.
So back there somewhere you announced thatyou were doing your final two photo shoots
like forever. You make me seethat, I go, oh my god,

(24:23):
So you're retiring. You're like,yeah, well, I mean there's
only so many Glitter Cowgirl photo shootsyou could do. But I was saying
it was like for the boudoirs,so like lingerie and stuff like that,
but it was like sailor Moon andwhat was you had? You had to
get one of those two? Thoseare fun. Those were the last two
ones you were doing my Space CowgirlSpace Cowgirl and right and what was the

(24:45):
other one? You're like, Igotta get this. I actually just did
a did one the other day.I had. It wasn't like it was
an impromptu because I went and myfriend Christie, who does all my photo
shoots, like a lot of them. She was like, Hey, I
know some of your friends and I'mactually about to do a photo sh with
today. Do you want to comejoin me? And I was like,
who, She goes, it's lucidillusions. I was like what. So
I went out there and came inwith a bottle tequila, and it's like,

(25:07):
what's up, boys and crashed theirphoto shoot. So that was fun.
If you see me drinking in themiddle at any point, if I
go, oh, let's do ashout at tequila, you know that things
have already gone wrong now with herthough she is the wild card, the
rock goddess. He monolin not gonnabe heard in kittens this year. But

(25:30):
standing right up there on the stagewith me at Sangerfest clauset right, Yes,
definitely better. We're trying to giveaway a motor second upgrade here.
You know it's gonna be fun.And now two minutes, two minutes with
Uncle Lotus, they're here and theFeds are finally ready to pretend to tell
us what's up with UFOs. Itseems we've left the gato up top,

(25:56):
you know, up there where thereal border is. Turns out been raccooning
around up there every night in theflying teapots. And no, I am
not talking about the border in Tijuana. This is about the other border,
the one, straight up big one. What open We're about to find out

(26:17):
if they all really do look likeChewbacca or if that's just the Republicans.
Oh, Uncles, I worry themen from outer space might want to eat
us. I don't think so,honey. Not if you tell them you
like crawfish, they'll have nothing todo it. I'm more worried that President
Malarkey has to be the one togo outside on the lawn and talk to

(26:41):
them. Not sure how Hey,have you been vaccinated? Is gonna work?
Followed by what sign are you?I'm a feces? The correct people
were wanting to ask if any ofthem are non binary like that girl's singer.
Right, But there is one thingthat we can teach the aliens,

(27:02):
and I'll tell you what it isin a minute. And no, it
won't be artificial intelligence. Aliens alreadyhave the real thing back at the house,
and they're not here to learn goodmanners either. They've already seen New
York. It could be the musicthey came to rock now because they don't
have nine inch nails where they're from, so here. It is the one

(27:29):
thing we can teach aliens from outerspace. Guys, find something different about
the other aliens and then learn tohate them for it. That's Earth's gift
to you and critical ODIs theory.Uncle ODIs, I'm gonna need your gun
and bade. It's your uncle ODIsa false and dangerous narrative, and I'll

(27:52):
see you on the other side ofthe razor wire at the Peace March.
It's weird. I know it's UncleODIs. That was pretty cool. At
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(28:15):
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(28:40):
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(29:03):
Master Cruel Buddy out Law Day withthe rock Goddess Taylor Maudlin. Hello,
Hello, Fashional Hot Dog Day.If you did get your free hot dogs
from hot Dog House, Druider Snitchel. Taco Johns. You know, there's
a place called Taco Johns that actuallyhas like locations in all the states except

(29:26):
New Jersey or something that had patentedTaco Tuesday back in the eighties trademarket or
whatever, and Taco Bell challenged them. I went to the patent office today.
You know, it's kind of vaguethat those guys for thirty years or
whatever had been almost forty had beendoing the Taco Tuesdays to Taco Johns.

(29:47):
I just thought it was something fromthe office, right, You're like,
hmm, So he went from hotdogs to tacos. But it's really make
me hungry Thursday. So it's neitherHot Dog Day nor Taco Tuesday. It's
one step closer to the weekend.So good to see you, No,

(30:11):
it's really good to see you.Looking forward I haven't eaten dinner. I
like, mmmmm, I want toeat now. It's a little late,
but I will be cooking when Iget home from the studio. I uh,
you know, I work late andthen I get home and everyone's asleep
except the dogs who encourage me tomake food. Are you going Greek?

(30:34):
I'm like, oh, okay,so I'll make food. But now that
it's summer and the kids have caughton to the fact that I cook food
late at night, now I'm oncea while, some heads will pop out.
Hey Dad, you're you just gothome? Are you? Are you
cooking anything? Okay? You makesome like crazy meals too. You know

(30:55):
the food, it'll go bad ifyou don't cook it. They'll be cup
delinquents. All right. So thisweekend Funday rentals. What are they out
on Lake Houston where Funday rentals?And uh, they are booking appointments through
the rest of the summer, rightall the way through Labor Day. Yeah,

(31:15):
contact them for their summer specials.They now have four or five boats
on deck that are platoon boats thatfit a lot of people. You can
also get a captain if you wantto sit there and drink and not have
some of that has to be sober. It's like, yeah, so it's
really affordable. They also have jetskis now too, or jet skis in
as well. It's nice. Andthen my friend Maddy that you know is

(31:37):
actually now working up there with them. Really yeah, all right, did
you tell her that I have anaccount that I'm supposed to Just the outlaw
families just are like little duck lames, and I should get all, yeah,
I should teach my kids to dothat when I'm leaving them round.
Just can y'all quack just a littlebit? Y'all should before they start school
in the next up weeks. I'llshould go up there on a weekday when
they're slower. Oh yeah, sothey you can. You don't have to

(32:00):
just do it on the weekends.Yeah, it's Monday. It's Monday through
Sunday. You can call make anappointment, or you can just walk in.
I've noticed that a lot lately everywhereI go, you know, when
I'm because I run errands during theweek because I work at night and then
I work on the weekend, soI run errands during the day during the
week, and there's all these peopleout there with their kids. Oh my

(32:20):
God, it's so busy out here. It's crazy. Yeah, go check
them out fun day rentals. Checkthem out on Facebook. They have discounts
going, a lot of cool stuffover there. Tell them outlawed day shows
sent you man. Wear themselves out. Take them out on the lake that
way though. They make them swimbehind. Yeah, you can bring kids.
They even have autions, they haveautions, add floats and stuff and
everything. Make them go to bed, don't don't feed them after midnight.

(32:43):
It's it's a mistake. It's amistake, all right. Speaking of mistakes,
it was Hot Dog Day today andone of the one of the things
a survey that was done. Theyasked people if you thought your dog could
survive five in the wild without you? Oh do you think you think most

(33:06):
people's do you? You have yourfriends that have dogs of the dog?
I feel like how spoiled the dogwas. I don't feel like I've given
my dog enough life in the wildsurvival skills, like I need to.
I need to stop feeding him andmaybe set him outside and see if he
just go for a walk and releasethem cats. You know, cats,
they're always hunting. I feel likedogs have that bread out of them as

(33:29):
even though they are descendants of wolves, ancient wolves, all domestic aated dogs.
If people having their home right noware descendants of the ancient wolves that
used to roam the earth. Imean within in science and mixing and breeding
and making new things happened as well. The smallest, the smallest one.

(33:50):
Smallest ones are the least from beinga dog. But I did get a
kid in last night. That's atmy house. We will tell that black
cat to pretend like it's a dog. Hell, Lordeve is your friend.
Hey, mom said, the wayyou log made your slash, make you
groom. Wish I got sing,make you fuck, make you stay that

(34:30):
way? Watch on that dripp cankeep away? Canst still? The flaming

(35:06):
hard can in my field? Thesharp burning trees of you all through my
head. Belone, I found outbefore me that I landed to my calls.

(36:16):
How to tell the fridge soul?I don't know. I've been believe
woman you nor so oh oh ashome pride spending alone. A woman will

(37:04):
come my way, a woman ravingalves. Maybe you happy, then,

(38:45):
lady's our gentlemen, that is oursoul. Friday evening, Thank you for
coming. Please live by the assetsand don't forget the speakers. Thank you,