January 20, 2025 • 9 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John talks about how to know if your relationship is on autopilot
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
Intern John's debut comedy album "The Album" is available right NOW! InternJohnComedy.com proceeds benefitting the Fisher House Foundation
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Monday friend. Welcome to thoughts Shower. Intern
John is my name. It was a weekend.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
You know, we are.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Slowly, slowly, slowly trying to get back out a little bit.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
You know.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
It's uh, it's still tough. It'll be three weeks tomorrow,
which is crazy that a chewy passed. And so this
weekend what we do? So Friday we had uh, there
was no hockey. Actually we didn't do anything on Friday.
That's not good. Damn. Let's hope I had something good
to tell you about Friday, but hockey was canceled. So
(00:37):
I'm pretty sure I watched Severans That's what I did.
Severance Fantastic Show and Apple TV. If you don't know,
the idea of the show is you get like a
chip in your brain so that your brain is split
between home and work. So there's like part of your
conscience that only exists at work. The party only exists
at home. So the idea being, if I walk into
(00:59):
the radio station, I know nothing about my home life,
and when I leave the radio station, I know nothing
about my work life. But how it works is that
you at work is there twenty four to seven? I mean,
so it's like you never quite clock out, which to
me would be an absolute disaster. Then Saturday went out
for the first time in like a month, basically went
(01:20):
to the Capitol's game. It was a lot of fun,
huge thanks to the Caps for having us always a
good time. Had plenty of pizza in the suite, which
was also fantastic. They went to hide after a little bit,
watch the Commander's game. The Vikings. You know, it just
is what it is, man, and kind of say this.
I have friends that will sometimes complain about their sports teams.
(01:43):
I had a Ravens friend recently complaining about hardestly Ravens fan.
I'm like, hey, you've won two Super Bowls, like in
a relatively short time, like two in my twenty years.
The Vikings have won nothing. We haven't even been a
Super Bowl in my lifetime. The last Minnesota sports team
to win a professional championship was the Twins in nineteen
(02:04):
ninety one. It is a disaster. Disaster. So that that
and then Sunday it's kind of like relaxed a little bit,
didn't do too much. I went to the gym that
was very exciting, and then went out to watch a
little bit of Ravens game as well, so you know
we're doing it slowly. It's still it's still fresh, it's
(02:29):
still not good. It's one of those things where I think,
like the the emotions come at the oddest time, they
just kind of do.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Although I was very happy as the word.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
But there was one photo of Chewy that I have
been searching for for a long time, well since of
course didn't he passed. And there's this photo of me
at my first apartment here in DC, and so Chewy
did not like being away from me at all, Like
I think we're both kind of like that way, but
we want to be around each and so if I
was in the bathroom, he was in the bathroom. If
(03:03):
I went upstairs, he went upstairs. I could always count that.
But there's this photo of me smoking a cigar. Well
you can't see it, but is Chewy waiting inside my
apartment through the blinds, like on the ground while I'm
outside smoking a cigar. And I couldn't find the photo.
I was so bummed, look through my phone, look through everything.
Then it popped up on Facebook Memories this past weekend,
(03:23):
which I thought was pretty cool. So that was lovely
to have. I've also had a friend drop off this
photo of Chewy's my favorite photos of me and him
on the beach at my ex girlfriend's family's farm. And
the odd thing about the photo is, and I never
realized this, and Tell was blown up, but it looks
(03:45):
like he has a halo. The way the sun is
hitting the water, it looks like he has a halo.
And I never noticed it until got blown up. But
that was that was pretty cool to see as well.
So you know, it is what it is, dude. It's
I don't think you ever quite get used to it.
You know, it's still I can be in a room
(04:08):
and know exactly where he would be, which is weird,
not mean weird, but like if I'm sitting downstairs in
my TV room, I know one or three places he'd be.
He'd be on the stairs and his bad around the couch,
And that part I think is kind of hard, you know,
especially with a pet, where it's like you know them,
you know where they would be, you know what would
(04:31):
make them move to get up. So you know, we're
going through this, and I do hope too that by
being open and talking about it and showing that side
of grief, it helps folks who are going through it
as well.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
So, uh, that's kind of where we're at right now.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Listen. Not all doom and gloom, though I appreciate you listening.
Got a big week for hockey this week. Very excited
for that. Although currently golly the roads right now he
can probably skate in the roads. It is not great
out there. What's going on? Let me get to this
via Monday. How to know if your relationships on autopilot?
We've all been there. I think at times, you know,
(05:08):
I think too, not even intentionally. I think a lot
of times, if like if there's a lot going on
in life, if life's getting crazy, sometimes I think the
relationship goes an autopilot because in your mind it's like, well,
this will always be there, and like, no, it won't be.
Starting with, if your conversations feel robotic, they say, when
your conversations get more like reading a script than engaging
(05:30):
with your partner, it might be a red flag. I've
been in relationships where I feel like the phone calls
were like this, do you know what I mean? Where
it's like, oh, it's it's this time. I know we're
gonna call and talk about how our day was. And
I think that it's tough also too. I mentioned this
on the show before there was a study of like
not necessarily how much easier relationships used to be, but
(05:53):
because we're in constant communication twenty four to seven, it
can be hard to find something to talk about. Like
back in our parents today, they would you know, go
to work and not be able to text, maybe be
able to call, not really be able to email. So
when they got home they actually got to catch each
other up on how their day was. Now it's like
we're updating each other minute by minute. So when you
(06:15):
get home with your person, it's like I already know
what happened, you know what I mean. If date nights
are non existent, it's one thing my dad always said
is yeah, I always date your girl, So my parents
always do. Saturday night would be date night. I think
that's true. I think you got to like get into
you have to go somewhere, you know what I mean.
(06:36):
I think the Netflix and stuff like that. I think
that becomes normal. You have to get out and actually
go do something. Affectionate gestures are few and far between.
They say. Affection is not just behind the moon phase.
It's a critical, critical component to a healthy relationship. If
hugs and kisses and handholding are rare occurrences, you might
(06:57):
be slighting autopilot mode.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I call the kisses. I don't know why. It's Monday.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, if you're more interested in your phones than each other, Yeah,
that's annoying for sure. And again, I think it's because
in the back of your mind, you're thinking like they'll
always be here.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I don't want to say you necessarily take it for granted,
but the thing, it's just kind of like you have
that feeling that they're always gonna be there because you're
on on a pilot.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah. Ah, dude, this one was bad. Man.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
You can't remember the last time you laughed together? Dude,
that's tough. That's tough. And again I guess, like you know,
taking out like if something bad happened, like if there
was a loss or whether it be a job or
a family whatever, But if you can't remember the last
time you laughed together or had fun, I would I've
(07:50):
been in a relationship where like at some point I
said to myself, like we're not even friends anymore, you know,
like I don't even like you as a friend.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Why are we together? If you stop being curious about
each other. Damn, damn, they.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Say, over time, it's easy to assume me, Alora, you
know all there is to know. When curiosity fades, it's
a sign your relationship might be on autopilot. I do
think that's true, yeah, because then it's you know, if
you know everything, what's the plan of conversation?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
But there's also there's no way to know.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
And yeah, I think it's it's probably hard to fight that, right,
because you get into that rut. You're not even my rut.
You get into that cycle. You're around each other all
the time, you thinking of everything. It's like, oh man, no, no.
If you avoid discussing future plans, that to me is
probably the biggest one, whether it be for the upcoming weekend,
(08:44):
whether it be for the holiday, a concert, something like that.
I think even just like in the back of your mind,
you're like, it's not even worth bringing up. Yeah, that
to me has always been and I guess I've kind
of felt that before relationships, right, because I'm always trying
to plan ahead, like trip wise, especially because of my
family's out here, and we'll go other places and it's like, oh,
I stopped thinking about that person coming that's usually a
(09:07):
sign something's off, you know. Look, I hope you have
a fantastic Wednesday. I hope you're staying safe and taking
care of yourself. I appreciate you, and again, I can't
thank enough for everybody who's reached out the last few weeks.
It's meant a lot to me, so thank you as
well for that get me and everything. At Internshow Radio,
it's thoughts Shower.
And a happy Monday friend. Welcome to thoughts Shower. Intern
John is my name. It was a weekend.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
You know, we are.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Slowly, slowly, slowly trying to get back out a little bit.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
You know.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
It's uh, it's still tough. It'll be three weeks tomorrow,
which is crazy that a chewy passed. And so this
weekend what we do? So Friday we had uh, there
was no hockey. Actually we didn't do anything on Friday.
That's not good. Damn. Let's hope I had something good
to tell you about Friday, but hockey was canceled. So
(00:37):
I'm pretty sure I watched Severans That's what I did.
Severance Fantastic Show and Apple TV. If you don't know,
the idea of the show is you get like a
chip in your brain so that your brain is split
between home and work. So there's like part of your
conscience that only exists at work. The party only exists
at home. So the idea being, if I walk into
(00:59):
the radio station, I know nothing about my home life,
and when I leave the radio station, I know nothing
about my work life. But how it works is that
you at work is there twenty four to seven? I mean,
so it's like you never quite clock out, which to
me would be an absolute disaster. Then Saturday went out
for the first time in like a month, basically went
(01:20):
to the Capitol's game. It was a lot of fun,
huge thanks to the Caps for having us always a
good time. Had plenty of pizza in the suite, which
was also fantastic. They went to hide after a little bit,
watch the Commander's game. The Vikings. You know, it just
is what it is, man, and kind of say this.
I have friends that will sometimes complain about their sports teams.
(01:43):
I had a Ravens friend recently complaining about hardestly Ravens fan.
I'm like, hey, you've won two Super Bowls, like in
a relatively short time, like two in my twenty years.
The Vikings have won nothing. We haven't even been a
Super Bowl in my lifetime. The last Minnesota sports team
to win a professional championship was the Twins in nineteen
(02:04):
ninety one. It is a disaster. Disaster. So that that
and then Sunday it's kind of like relaxed a little bit,
didn't do too much. I went to the gym that
was very exciting, and then went out to watch a
little bit of Ravens game as well, so you know
we're doing it slowly. It's still it's still fresh, it's
(02:29):
still not good. It's one of those things where I think,
like the the emotions come at the oddest time, they
just kind of do.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Although I was very happy as the word.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
But there was one photo of Chewy that I have
been searching for for a long time, well since of
course didn't he passed. And there's this photo of me
at my first apartment here in DC, and so Chewy
did not like being away from me at all, Like
I think we're both kind of like that way, but
we want to be around each and so if I
was in the bathroom, he was in the bathroom. If
(03:03):
I went upstairs, he went upstairs. I could always count that.
But there's this photo of me smoking a cigar. Well
you can't see it, but is Chewy waiting inside my
apartment through the blinds, like on the ground while I'm
outside smoking a cigar. And I couldn't find the photo.
I was so bummed, look through my phone, look through everything.
Then it popped up on Facebook Memories this past weekend,
(03:23):
which I thought was pretty cool. So that was lovely
to have. I've also had a friend drop off this
photo of Chewy's my favorite photos of me and him
on the beach at my ex girlfriend's family's farm. And
the odd thing about the photo is, and I never
realized this, and Tell was blown up, but it looks
(03:45):
like he has a halo. The way the sun is
hitting the water, it looks like he has a halo.
And I never noticed it until got blown up. But
that was that was pretty cool to see as well.
So you know, it is what it is, dude. It's
I don't think you ever quite get used to it.
You know, it's still I can be in a room
(04:08):
and know exactly where he would be, which is weird,
not mean weird, but like if I'm sitting downstairs in
my TV room, I know one or three places he'd be.
He'd be on the stairs and his bad around the couch,
And that part I think is kind of hard, you know,
especially with a pet, where it's like you know them,
you know where they would be, you know what would
(04:31):
make them move to get up. So you know, we're
going through this, and I do hope too that by
being open and talking about it and showing that side
of grief, it helps folks who are going through it
as well.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
So, uh, that's kind of where we're at right now.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Listen. Not all doom and gloom, though I appreciate you listening.
Got a big week for hockey this week. Very excited
for that. Although currently golly the roads right now he
can probably skate in the roads. It is not great
out there. What's going on? Let me get to this
via Monday. How to know if your relationships on autopilot?
We've all been there. I think at times, you know,
(05:08):
I think too, not even intentionally. I think a lot
of times, if like if there's a lot going on
in life, if life's getting crazy, sometimes I think the
relationship goes an autopilot because in your mind it's like, well,
this will always be there, and like, no, it won't be.
Starting with, if your conversations feel robotic, they say, when
your conversations get more like reading a script than engaging
(05:30):
with your partner, it might be a red flag. I've
been in relationships where I feel like the phone calls
were like this, do you know what I mean? Where
it's like, oh, it's it's this time. I know we're
gonna call and talk about how our day was. And
I think that it's tough also too. I mentioned this
on the show before there was a study of like
not necessarily how much easier relationships used to be, but
(05:53):
because we're in constant communication twenty four to seven, it
can be hard to find something to talk about. Like
back in our parents today, they would you know, go
to work and not be able to text, maybe be
able to call, not really be able to email. So
when they got home they actually got to catch each
other up on how their day was. Now it's like
we're updating each other minute by minute. So when you
(06:15):
get home with your person, it's like I already know
what happened, you know what I mean. If date nights
are non existent, it's one thing my dad always said
is yeah, I always date your girl, So my parents
always do. Saturday night would be date night. I think
that's true. I think you got to like get into
you have to go somewhere, you know what I mean.
(06:36):
I think the Netflix and stuff like that. I think
that becomes normal. You have to get out and actually
go do something. Affectionate gestures are few and far between.
They say. Affection is not just behind the moon phase.
It's a critical, critical component to a healthy relationship. If
hugs and kisses and handholding are rare occurrences, you might
(06:57):
be slighting autopilot mode.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I call the kisses. I don't know why. It's Monday.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, if you're more interested in your phones than each other, Yeah,
that's annoying for sure. And again, I think it's because
in the back of your mind, you're thinking like they'll
always be here.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
You know.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I don't want to say you necessarily take it for granted,
but the thing, it's just kind of like you have
that feeling that they're always gonna be there because you're
on on a pilot.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah. Ah, dude, this one was bad. Man.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
You can't remember the last time you laughed together? Dude,
that's tough. That's tough. And again I guess, like you know,
taking out like if something bad happened, like if there
was a loss or whether it be a job or
a family whatever, But if you can't remember the last
time you laughed together or had fun, I would I've
(07:50):
been in a relationship where like at some point I
said to myself, like we're not even friends anymore, you know,
like I don't even like you as a friend.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Why are we together? If you stop being curious about
each other. Damn, damn, they.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Say, over time, it's easy to assume me, Alora, you
know all there is to know. When curiosity fades, it's
a sign your relationship might be on autopilot. I do
think that's true, yeah, because then it's you know, if
you know everything, what's the plan of conversation?
Speaker 2 (08:20):
But there's also there's no way to know.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
And yeah, I think it's it's probably hard to fight that, right,
because you get into that rut. You're not even my rut.
You get into that cycle. You're around each other all
the time, you thinking of everything. It's like, oh man, no, no.
If you avoid discussing future plans, that to me is
probably the biggest one, whether it be for the upcoming weekend,
(08:44):
whether it be for the holiday, a concert, something like that.
I think even just like in the back of your mind,
you're like, it's not even worth bringing up. Yeah, that
to me has always been and I guess I've kind
of felt that before relationships, right, because I'm always trying
to plan ahead, like trip wise, especially because of my
family's out here, and we'll go other places and it's like, oh,
I stopped thinking about that person coming that's usually a
(09:07):
sign something's off, you know. Look, I hope you have
a fantastic Wednesday. I hope you're staying safe and taking
care of yourself. I appreciate you, and again, I can't
thank enough for everybody who's reached out the last few weeks.
It's meant a lot to me, so thank you as
well for that get me and everything. At Internshow Radio,
it's thoughts Shower.
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